Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Breakup Tales

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

Producer Cam rocking your world with Breakup Tales and Normal or Nah! Love ya! xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Producer Cam taking you through your throwback episode. You are listening to Tony and Ryan. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. It's Producer Cam with you, my darlings. Today, we have got a throwback episode. Ryan is on baby leave and Tony's on leave, baby. Talking about all things dumpings, not the bad stuff you do in the toot. I'm talking about breaking up. Why do you break up? Have you done it before?

It sounds juicy, doesn't it? But first up, let's jump straight into it with Normal or Nah. Wednesday, Normal or Nah. Yeah, I love Normal or Nah. Do you want to explain how the game works? Normal or nah? This is why you can't have buttons in front of you.

Yeah, there was discussions about this. Normal or nah? Wearing one. So basically we take two. The fact that I get to spend so much time with one of the world's greatest comedians firsthand firsthand, in person. You're welcome. I don't know how I keep my fucking pants on. Me either.

It's a shocker. Normal or nah? Wearing one pair of underwear over multiple days. I saw. This post? This post in our Facebook group. Lucy was the one who put it in. Because her partner, is that correct?

I just found out my husband and partner of nearly 12 years, by the way. post in our Facebook group. Lucy was the one who put it in. Because her partner, is that correct? I just found out my husband and partner of nearly 12 years, by the way. 12 years. How are you not noticing before that, Luce? Honestly. He'll wear his underwear over multiple days if he deems them not sweaty enough to be replaced yet in winter, apparently, which we're also coming into here in Melbourne, it means less heat, less sweat, less changing of underwear. He seems to think it's normal and he thinks I'm the freak for wearing underwear during the day and separate underwear at night. At night?

Like she'll sleep in. I don't normally sleep in knickers. Really? No. I normally, I wear, oh, oh well everyone would have seen it in the video um of me having just woken up i sleep in like a big oversized like t-shirt nighty yep and that's it and you're all good yeah i i think because you know when you're a kid and someone tells you something and you just like live by that forever yeah someone's grandma once told

me that you have to let your bum breathe overnight when I was in, like, year four. Maybe that wasn't, like, for everyone. She just got a whiff of Tony's butt and was like, that needs some air. You need to fucking air that thing out nightly for the next rest of your life. The next rest of your life. Lucy goes on and says, please help and tell us which one

of us is the fucked one. I'm going to say nah. Nah, it's not normal. Yeah. Doubling up. I don't, no, like it's not, I'm going to say nah to wearing the same underwear more than once. Yeah.

But as a vagina haver, I think you are more prone to infections or like yeast infections and things like that if you wear the same underwear lots of times. But I would also say that as a ball haver, your balls probably fucking stink. Oh, really? Well, I mean, like you wash yourself every day, right? Yeah.

So the thing that are like right up in there, probably wash those as well. Probably, yeah. I don't, I got no qualms about wearing jeans many times because there's the underwear in between your person and the thing. Yeah. What about a T-shirt? How do you go with a T-shirt?

It depends what I've done in it. If I've worn it for a full day, then no. But if I've only worn it for 10 minutes to like quickly go to the shop or go down and grab a parcel or something, then it goes on the dining table and that's my midway place. Things on the dining table can be worn again. Would you say that if you, on this same line of thinking, that if you wore it for a little bit and you go, oh, I probably don't need to wash that yet, but you'll like put it back a few in

the rotation, like so you don't wear it like the next day, but you still won't clean it, but you just put a few days between wears. It's just available. Yeah. Oh, but just, I don't want people to like, is he wearing that same shirt again? No, no. He rested it and put a different shirt on in between. Because have I washed it? Have I not?

Ooh. Who's to say? Yeah. Do you ever have like a T-shirt or a jumper or something that's like the one you've got on the go at the moment? So it's like if you're going down to grab a parcel, say you do that every day for a week, but it's that T-shirt that you use because that's like your house T-shirt.

I've got, which you would have noticed, that kind of flannelette, the lighter coloured one. Yeah. That's my, this last month, my go-to chuck over the top every time I leave the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, going outside? Oh, I just chuck that over.

Just pop that on. In fact, I almost put it on today and I was like, I'm going to wear something different. So in the videos for the podcast, it looks like I've got more than one shirt. Yeah, that's what I do with this denim jacket. Lucy, where with you, your husband's fucked. Yeah.

Socks, I reckon as well, you can probably get away with one or two days if you haven't worn it for a full day, I reckon. With clean feet over here, I wouldn't dare do that. Actually, I probably would. You wouldn't do socks more than once? I was going to say if you have exercise, but that ain't happening that much anymore. It's winter in Australia.

Not relatable. Really settling in. Normal or nah, taking your water bottle to the bathroom? Nah. Nah. John? What do you need it for? John says, I work in an office, and of course, I'm awkwardly placed,

so whenever folks need to use the restroom, they walk past him and stuff, which that would be the worst. I feel for you, Josh. Yeah. I see a lot of people taking their water bottles with them to the bathroom. This is a massive nah for me. Not only is there germs and poo particles flying around, but also why?

Are you scared someone's going to steal your drink bottle while you're in the bathroom? Are you filling it in the toilet? I just don't understand why you actually need to take your drink bottle to the bathroom. But I literally see tens of people do this every single day. All right, I've got a theory which I reckon is straight on the money. People are getting up from their desk and they're going,

well, I'm not going to go to the bathroom and then go fill up my water bottle as well. So they're taking it to the bathroom, then filling up their water bottle, then walking back to their desk. What I do in any office, I've always done this, I used to do it here at Kiss in the radio station, I would get my water bottle and plonk it like on a desk or on the floor somewhere on my way to the toilet,

then grab it on my way back out, then go to the kitchen. Nailed it. Yeah. Easy solution. Easy. I'm the same. You've got to put it down in like a. Just then go to the kitchen. Nailed it. Yeah. Easy solution. Easy. I'm the same. You've got to put it down in like a. Just leave it on the kitchen bench for five minutes.

A neutral area. I wouldn't be taking it into the toilet. Into the stall? Like right in there? But I mean, even if you were leaving it like on the sink. Nah. I just find that really weird. Yeah.

That's a big nah. Do you reckon people are doing that with like their lunch before they go and heat it up? I hope not. And I'm not like a germy, weird, clean freak. It's more just odd. But still, yeah, nah. Yeah. I remember as a kid once eating like a cheesy stringer and

like... Sorry, man. The Bogan test was last week. And saying to mum like... What? A cheesy stringer. Like the cheese mum, like. What's a, what? A cheesy stringer. Like, the cheese and you, like, it's like mozzarella stick and then you, like, peel the bits of cheese off. To have it with, like, biscuits and olives and stuff? No, no, no, no. Like, literally, it's just like a stick of cheese

and you string the bits off. Have you never seen a bigger stringer or a cheesy stringer? So, hang on. Just as a meal, you would just eat cheese? It's not a meal. It's like a snack, but it's like one, like, it looks a bit like a pen. Of cheese.

Yeah, and then you string the bits off. No, I know. And when do you have this with? It's just like a snack. But I was eating a cheesy stringer and I like got up from the table or the couch or wherever and had my cheesy stringer in my hand and Mum was like, where are you going? And I was like, to the toilet.

And she was like, Tony Louise, what are you doing? Leave your cheesy stringer behind. And I was like, I don't want the dogs to get it. She was like, okay, well then put it on the table. Don't take the cheese to the toilet. If there's one thing I've learned in this world, do not let a dog near a cheesy stringer. And don't take your cheesy stringer to the toilet.

Yeah. Yeah. But now, I was really little and now I know. Don't take your cheesy string into the toilet. Don't let the dogs at it. Don't let the dogs take your cheesy string into the toilet. Put it on the table. Normal or nah?

Oh, I love this question. Normal or nah? Listening to music full blast in your car. Yep. Fucking normal. Oh, I love it. Tiffany James says, I feel like no one else does it anymore, but I'm really into it.

I'm worried that when I pull up at the traffic lights, people are going to look at me as if I'm the obnoxious wanker. But really, says Tiffany James, I'm just trying to live my best life. Yeah. Do you know what? I reckon there is a difference between listening to loud music with your windows down and being like a bit of a flog about it but if i've if i'm just cruising and fucking jamming in my own world i think that's

fine i love driving i fucking love being in the car don't love parking though i don't like parking no driving yes do you know i drove to that meeting the other day and i parked on the street remember that was pretty good i can't believe you did that. Yeah. But then the meeting took a lot longer than I was expecting. So I was a bit stressed. No, I didn't actually. But I love driving for this reason because you can have a boogie in the car.

It's like the only time when I can't fucking check my emails. No one can text me, but I don't have to read it yet. I love it. And I love having a boogie in the car. Same. I fucking froth it. When we used to live out in the country just last year, it was like an hour and a half, two hours from town.

It's the best. So I went back home two or three times a week. And as soon as I got in, I'm like, oh, get a coffee or something, pump it up, and same. Yep. Open road. In your own world. Pump up the tunes.

Yep. I do agree, though, the type of music will say a lot. Yeah, okay. If it's, for instance, if you're in a fully sick car and you're pumping like Tekkers, like techno. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's not for me. Yeah, but if it's just like a banger, 90s sing-along,

give it everything. I'll even hit a high note if I have to. Oh, you've got to. Yeah. But no one's judging you Because you're in your own car And if they say anything, you go, you can walk, babe See ya

Catch the bus You can get a lift in the back of that Ford Explorer Where someone's jerking off in the back seat Yeah, on your bike, Dom Hey, it's Producer Cam For your throwback episode, you are listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I want to talk about dumpings and reasons why people have dumped and been dumped. And we've talked about this before, but Tony and I have just had an issue where we've written

on our little piece of paper, oh, let's talk about dumpings, but we're both mistaken. Every time I look at it, I think it says dumplings. I'm obviously hungry or something. I keep going, are we talking about dumplings? Have you got a dumpling story? Well, I keep looking at it and saying, did I say that I would talk about dumplings because I don't remember.

It's like, has Tony got a dumpling story? I don't remember bringing a dumpling story to the table. It's a dumping story. Dumping. And not like pooing. No, like you're dumped from this relationship. From a relationship. There are no Asian cuisines attached to any of these stories.

Unfortunately. Which, to be fair, is a fucking letdown. It's a shame. Yeah. It's a real shame. I actually don't care about the dumplings anymore. Especially after I picked this up and went dumplings, nice. Nice.

In the news this week a disgruntled husband has revealed why he ended his marriage to his wife. Obviously who else would you end your marriage to? Because she was obsessed with taking picture perfect

snaps for Instagram and it completely consumed her life. She has chosen Instagram and her being a mummy blogger over her husband and her child. Is that the ultimate, like, boyfriends of Instagram burn? Yeah. Like, you're just like, I'm not fucking taking your pics anymore.

I'm fucking out. So he says our house that we bought to live in is for living in. The main purpose of their house is not to be a ready on demand photo shoot scene. Oh, like a set at all times. And so when they buy stuff and even their daughter, he's like, oh, she really likes this toy. No, it doesn't match the colour palette that my Instagram feed is

because it needs to be the pink and the beiges and the whatever. And she like went to the store and her grandma went with her and she's like pointing to this green toy and grandma brought a toy home and they're like, no, not in our house. Doesn't match the aesthetic. And then you want to know what the final straw was for this bloke? Oh, what? The baby is like, you know when they can kind of stand

and you kind of hold their hands and they stand? So they're not quite walking but they're like on the precipice. Oh, my God, yeah, Steph Clare Smith's baby walked last week for the first time and I bawled my eyes out. You did too. Yeah. I saw that. I saw that.

Shout out to Steph Clare Smith's cute as shit baby. Yep. Fuck, that baby's going to be good looking. The most beautiful parents. Yeah, the dimples, the blue eyes. And Tony is crying at every life milestone. I love babies. So the dad loves babies as well.

And he's like, any day now, this baby is probably going to take its first step. Because, you know, they're really close. They're really close. Yeah. So he's watching the game on a Sunday. He's having a beer. And he sees the baby kind of like, he's like, oh, what's going on here? She's wobbling away a little bit.

So he puts the beer on the table and he walks over and he's like, come to Dad, you know, come, like, you know, encourages her. And then she takes her first step. I've actually got goosebumps. Yeah. And, of course, Mum was filming because that's her life now. Yeah. But also you would.

You would. Anyway. But this was the life now. Yeah. But also you would anyway. You would, 100%. But this was the turning point. Yeah. When he was putting his drink down, the beer was visible in the back of the video. Just a beer sitting on the table in a lounge room, completely normal behaviour.

Where a beer should be, yeah. She got really fucked off with him and called him a selfish prick because she didn't feel like posting the video with alcohol fit the aesthetic of what a mummy blogger should be about. And because the beer was like a Budweiser or something, you know, just a generic beer. Well, it wasn't a beige glass. It wasn't a beige.

Oh, imagine if it was a Southwest Sour. You know those really nice peach cans? Oh, that would have been perfect, yeah. But apparently like the aesthetic of whatever this beer can was didn't suit her narrative. Fuck. And he actually went, you know what? Me and our now walking kid are going to go.

We're walking out. Now that she can walk, we're on the way. Pack your stuff up, sweetheart. Yes, I've been waiting for this. And that was the final thing. She has become completely obsessed with being a mummy blogger. It's just infused her whole life to the point where her child's not going to live with her anymore because she's chosen being a mummy blogger

over a mummy. I have a question. So I get that people would be like, I've been asked because it's like, oh, she's just a blogger and it's gone too far. Yep. would be like, I've been asked because it's like, oh, she's just a blogger and it's gone too far. Yep.

What if the job that she was obsessed with, because it's a career, like people say, oh, a YouTuber, you know, they're the fucking highest paid people in the country. They really are. You know. Power to them. What if the job was that she was a lawyer? Would people still feel angry with her?

Because I don't know. I feel really sad for the family has broken down. That's awful. But I'm also just like, but would people feel the same way if it was that she wasn't a blogger and it wasn't some, like, shit job that people think it is? Even though it's awesome, you're just jealous that you don't get to stay home all day and video yourself. I hear what you're saying.

Yeah. And here's his response. It's almost as if you wrote this article for the seven years daily. I didn't even read it, let alone write it. But I think you're right. You're like, well, she's allowed to have a job. Yeah, like how would you feel if it was that she was a lawyer or worked at a shopping centre or something?

Like what's the... He said, I'm happy for her or anyone in my life to pursue any goals they want. But he goes, but I actually live here. Yeah. This is my one house. I get that. And I've always had, and I think this is not a fucking life-changing statement.

If you can't be who you are in your own home, where can you be? Yeah. If you can't have a beer on your own couch on a Sunday, like, if that's what you want to do with your Sunday, bro. Yeah. And I think his thing was, this is my house. Go, I mean money aside, go buy another house that can be your photo shoot house and have it as pretty as you want. But sometimes I'm going to leave the kids' toys on the floor

because that's where we were playing with them. Yeah. Sometimes I'm going to come home with McDonald's and I'm going to eat it on the couch and not put it and take a photo of it and plate it up all pretty and, you know. You're just going to fucking eat it because you're hungry. Yeah. Yeah.

I think all. He's like, this is my house. I do get that. And also. Who could be fast being that clean? Well, not me. I've been to your house uninvited. I just turned up to your place one day.

I was like, oh, is this the day to day. Is this how you live? Is this the I'm not expecting. No, it wasn't that bad. How fucking deep. Is this the I'm not expecting guests. What I was going to say before you threw me under the bus is that Not that bad. How fucking deep. Is this the I'm not expecting guests Sony interview? What I was going to say before you threw me under the bus is that most of that shit's contrived anyway.

Who gives a fuck? No. Save that video for you. Yeah. And then the next time this kid wobbles and stands up, film that one in the fucking white bedroom. Yep. And go, oh, first steps.

Luckily it was in this beautiful room and there wasn't a beer in the background. You know what? Who would have known? And fucking post that one, sweetheart. No one would have known. It would have mattered. People would still be just as excited and it's the same thing.

It's just the day later. Do you think as a society, fuck, where's this podcast going? Yeah. That we're kind of moved past this perfection thing. I think people love the realness of it. I like it too. I'll tell you who I love. Who?

Hi Josh. Oh yeah, you talk about Hi Josh a lot. Yeah, I love that guy. And because he's, I think they're expecting a second, I don't know, but he's got a young baby and it's not contrived and buoyant. He's just like, oh, had a shit day. We had none of us slept last night and it is what it is. And I feel like, oh, I feel that bro.

Totally. had a shit day we had none of us slept last night and it is what it is and i feel like oh i feel that bro totally and i i mean i don't have kids so that's like not what i post about or what i would ever share but yeah i think it's also like even just doing a a selfie like a instagram story or something and you can see people's like watching in the background or whatever and you're like oh they're people too they're a real human yeah yeah You can't enjoy your life if it has to be tidy all the time. Hashtag team slobs, team loaf. Literally. Yeah, that's me. I'm on that hashtag.

Now, I want to talk about some other reasons that people have broken up. Oh. Now, I believe you dated Robert Pattinson when you were in high school. Is that correct? Yeah, isn't it a beautiful story? Yeah. Can you just bring people up to speed on that real quick? So we've talked about it on this podcast before about how I was catfished

by someone called Rita in the United States. Thought I was talking to Robert Pattinson for a couple of months. Thought we were in love. I was going to go and be on the set of the new Twilight film with him and stuff. Like it didn't work out, unfortunately. And now you blame this on you only being 15 years old. Yeah.

I still get DMs now from people who listen and go, hey, Ryan, I'm 14. I'm not a fucking idiot. Yeah, I've never been tricked now from people who listen and go, hey, Ryan, I'm 14. I'm not a fucking idiot. Yeah, I've never been tricked into thinking it was a catfish or a celebrity. I got lots of those messages as well. Yeah, I bet you did. And then I responded saying, well, this isn't Tony Lodge, so catfish right back.

That is good. But when I was in high school, so I've talked about my high school boyfriend Josh before. And I became, like, obsessed with Twilight and he was like, I can't deal with this. And that was the reason that we broke up was because I was like obsessed with Twilight. Actually, no, it wasn't like that was the reason you broke up.

Yeah, we like, he was just like, this is actually too much. And then I was like, well, fine, fuck you. Like you'll never love me like. No. Say the line. Say it. What did you say? You'll never love me like... No. Say the line. Say it. What did you say? You'll never love me like Edward loves Bella.

I'm such a fan. I'm such a fan. So was this before, during or after you dating Robert Pattinson online? This is before. Oh, so hang on. So you could say that I broke up with my high school boyfriend, Josh, for Robert Pattinson, which pretty good trade up. Well, imagine if he's like, high school boyfriend, Josh, for Robert Pattinson, which pretty good trade-up. Well, imagine if he's like, you're too obsessed with Twilight

and Robert Pattinson, that's why we're breaking up. And then a month later you're like, well, joke's on you, bud. He's my boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. Guess who's dating Robert Pattinson now. Guess who's upgraded. So, yeah, I think pretty good reason to get dumped, really, because you're obsessed with teen vampires. See you later, sweetheart.

Thanks, though. It's the Tony and Ryan podcast. Thanks for sticking around. This is Producer Cam. As always, we love to do what you love to see at the end of the episode. Now, don't, it's all right, don't feel like you're wasting it on me. I've run these past Tony and Ryan and they absolutely fucking love it. So if you hear your name, they know who you are.

It's all right. I found this one last night from Irene Stewart Hickman. And it starts off, as always, I started the fucking vlog. Round of applause. Sorry, don't do clapping on this episode. She says, I just became a qualified lash tech after quitting my job as a boiler maker. Total opposites, I know. Here's to new beginnings. We love to see that. My dad was a boiler maker. Total opposites I know. Here's to new beginnings.

We love to see that. My dad was a boiler maker. He fucking hated it. So good on you, Irene. I might come to you, get some laminations on my little brows, I think. But as always, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. We are going to be back tomorrow with some amazing throwbacks. It's the Tony and Rudd podcast.

Producer Cam, I love you, my darlings. I'll see you soon. Enjoy your day. Bye.