Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Brigitte and Taubs CO-HOST!

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR: Brigitte and Taubs are on the mic, and cohosting today's ep. It was, in hindsight, unfair for us to force them to come into work while Ryan and I are on holidays but hey, that's showbiz baby. Some great normal or nah questions, and the ultimate friendship sacrifice. Toni and Ryan are back on deck on TUESDAY Jan 3! Love ya xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, this is Bridget, Ryan's wife. I'm here with the heir to the Toblerone fortune, Tony's partner, Torbs. Tony and Ryan will be back on January 3 with their dumbest idea yet. But until then, you can hang out with their better halves. Coming up today, Tony's friendship sacrifice, but first, this is Normal or Nah. Normal or Nah. Being a human, but eating dog food. Nah? Nah. And it's a nah for most people. Except we've got a message here from Bala Carrigan. Hi, Bala Carrigan. My friend said that her roommate had dog biscuits

in her section of the pantry. That's fine, right? I guess so. Well, it is until you realise that she doesn't have a dog and they live in an apartment building where there are no pets allowed. But she's just got, like, dog biscuits. Did maybe she have a dog and it passed away and it's like excess supplies and maybe it's a bit too hard for her to throw it out yet?

So Bella went through this or maybe like even though they're not allowed, she might have like dog sat for a cousin for a night. Or maybe she, yeah, had a dog at the old place. And you know when you move house, you're like, just chuck everything from the pantry in a box and we'll figure it out. And then you never fucking do. So the benefit of that has been applied. Yeah.

Until the friend came back and said there are slightly less biscuits in the dog biscuit bag this week than there were last week. Are we talking about like legit kibble, like dog biscuits? Yeah. Like, what? I mean, is there like like are they high in protein are they cheaper than human biscuits dog food is expensive isn't it yeah oh it's cheaper than human food but it's still not cheap is it really hard yeah i was gonna say isn't it just like quite

hard to actually eat so bella's friend says to bella maybe it's just normal and we're just weird. And Bella said, well, I know a group of people who'd love to answer that for you. And we are now, Bella. Your friend is living with a fucking psycho. I really don't know about that. That's actually a bit odd, isn't it? Yeah. You know dog roll?

Oh, like a dog log? Yeah, so it's like a log. It looks like bologna or Devon or wherever you're from, but like processed sandwich meat. But when you have dog roll, it looks exactly like a roll of bologna. So my sister-in-law,

Chelsea, her sister used to love eating bologna and sauce sandwiches. And one day they had a fight, like sisters do, and Chelsea went, you know what, I'm really sorry about that. How about I make you your favourite sandwich? Oh, that is cool. She was like, that would be really nice, actually.

Guys of Let's Be Friends and Make Up. Yeah, she was like, look, I'm really sorry. She knew what she was doing. How about I make you a Sambo? And so she goes into the kitchen and instead of getting bologna, she cuts up really thin slices of the dog food, like the dog raw. Oh, my God. Puts it in a sandwich, like butter, tomato sauce, whatever,

and feeds it to her and her sister ate the dog food. And I actually don't know if Emma, the sister, I don't know if she knows. So if she listens to this podcast, she's going to know now. Thanks, Emma. So it's not like you bite into it and you know instantly this is fucked. No, because it would be the same texture and it's just fucking garbage. It would also be delicious. Yeah, just like off-cut meat shoved into a gator and mashed.

So it's fucking hoof anyway. Like, who fucking knows? And let's be honest, chuck something between bread and some tomato sauce on it, who's to fucking say the difference? A bit of butter fucking bobs your uncle. Could we do- Dog food your lunchtime. Could we do a test where...

I'm not eating dog roll. We are presented with three sandwiches and we need to have a bite of each and decipher... Yeah, I'll do it. ...which is the real one. And which is dog food. Yeah, I'll do it. Okay.

Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that on the show. Okay, great. We'll do it in the other studio when we're back to our normal spot. Those guys have kicked us out. We'll fucking dirty it right up. Fill it with dog food. Fill it with dog food.

Maybe that would be a great, like, workplace prank. You put, like, dog biscuits in, like, a jar in the staff room and, you know, like, people just go, oh, yum. Couple little bickies. Little bickies next to my cup of tea in the morning. I like that. It's a bit tough. It's a bit harder than I thought it would be.

Oh, it tastes like lamb and broccoli. You know how they're always like a random combination. Oh, it's lamb with a dash of kangaroo. Yeah, and a bit of salmon for your omega-3. Yeah. Normal or nah? Always being hungry after sex or masturbating. Jump right in.

Nah, for me. Like, that doesn't happen to me. Split the tapas in half, just like... And what about the vote? The fact that we as a society and community can discuss post-cum clarity, but we have never raised post-cum hunger, is starting to get to me. I've decided to abstain from any activities

that will result in me coming because groceries are getting expensive. A lot of economics chat in the last few weeks. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's the election. Now, just forgive me because some of the tappers have been quite honest Oh

Hey hang on you didn't answer It's a nah for me Yeah I've never had that If you think I'm awake a minute after You are fucking wrong Oh you go straight to sleep See you later Goodnight nurse

And wife Both of them Thank you Wow I'd be asleep too But this was a common thread of like you're either hungry or you're asleep. Oh. So which are you?

I mean, if I had to pick two, then I guess it's hungry because I don't fall asleep after. But we like, it's not normally night time because Torb's and I don't go to bed at the same time. So someone said if it's a night time they're straight to sleep if it's a morning time they're straight to breakfast yeah well i guess that yeah if i had to pick that that would be my choice i guess but you're not like i must eat immediately no so i normally i'm just thirsty i've lost all that fucking liquid dehydrated

i need a fucking lucaszade Hydrolyte Very graphic Especially when you Stared at me While sucking on your Frank Green water bottle When you said that Yeah

That could be you If you're a champion That could be you What getting sucked on By Tony Oh doing the Sucking the Frank Green I thought you meant

Getting sucked by Tony Lodge Cash Jones I guess if I had to pick Yeah I guess I would go The food Can you read this bit in your sexiest... I know you can't spell, but... In your sexiest voice.

I didn't know you couldn't fucking read. Normal. Love to get my stomach stuffed after someone stuffs my balls. Cass. Oh, my lanta. Okay. Yeah, I respect it. Respect the hustle.

Um, yeah, you feel a bit snacky after a little bit of... Actually, I'm going to get you to read this next one as well. This is by Tom Channing. Hi, Tom. That bit there. And again, in Tom's sexy voice, please. Maccas is on the way. No better words whispered in my ear after getting railed.

Oh, actually, no, you would like that, wouldn't you? You go, oh. You've just finished up. You're cuddling and they whisper. Nuggets are coming. Just like you were. Yeah. You came and now so is Maccas.

I wouldn't turn it down. If someone was like, there's a double quarter pounder out. We've pounded. There's a quarter pounder out there. I wouldn't mind. Sorry, I can't remember the person who said this. I'm a chicken after a McDicken. A McChicken after a McDicken.

I like that. A Sunday food and fuck. A McChicken after a McDicken. I like that. I do like that. Maybe Maccas should incorporate this into their marketing. Oh, email them. Boss at Maccas.com.au. Ideas at McDonald's.com.

Good ideas at McDonald's.com.au. Ideas at McDonald's.com. Good ideas at McDonald's.com.au. Someone said when they're in the honeymoon phase, they would, like, get it done and then together, like, get in the car and drive down to the drive-thru and get Maccas. And there's a cute little, like, oh, I've just done it. Now we're having a cheesy together. That's quite sweet. And it's actually where the relationship went from purely physical to,

like, you know, that cute time afterwards and they like you know when you when you start having little snacks together and you bond together and they like that's what really brought us together can i just say i am constantly torn by time by tom channing but also um between my genuine love for the tarpers and the tarp community that have been created it actually fills my heart. But then I also read stuff like that and go, what a beautiful bunch of fucking idiots we all are. We fucking, we really flew the freak flag and they've all come.

They've all come. And now they're fucking starving. Normal or nah? Now this is from Monique DeRocha, one of the OG tarpers. Monique DeRocha on the treadmill. You've all heard of her. Normal or nah, drinking a glass of plain milk with nothing else? I'm going to say nah.

It's disgusting. It's not for me. But can I, a small caveat of like having a Milo or like an iced coffee because it's technically like a milk drink, but it's not just like raw dog and milk. Monique was specific in saying this is a raw dog question. Okay. Because I'm all for milk but put some coffee in it, put some Milo in it, put some Baileys in it.

But so like does chalk milk count? No, because we're talking just straight out of the cow, just a big glass of milk. And this is my issue. When I. Just a big glass of milk. And this is my issue. When I have drank a big glass of milk, I feel like I can taste the cow. It's weird. It's so cow-y and milky and gross. It's so cow-y.

Now, Robert Bones, well, he sure fucking does. He says this. Definitely nah. The only people in my life who have drank straight milk have turned out to be sociopaths or serial killers. And now that I think about it. How many serial killers does he know? Four.

And you know what they were all doing in high school? Raw dog in the milk. Getting that cow-y sensation. Katrina. I barely trust my gut on a good day. The trauma that would come from drinking a glass of straight milk. It's a big nah from me and my plumbing. Is it okay if you have it with a little cookie or something? I guess.

So you wouldn't just sit down to watch a movie and go, oh, do you want to water a cup of tea? Oh, Tobs, pour me a glass of milk. I dated a guy. This is fucked. I dated a guy. Sociopath? Serial killer.

He must be a serial killer. He must be very good at hiding it because I didn't know at the time, but now I do. I mean, we've seen Dexter. People can keep secrets. I really like Dexter. You would because you're a milk drinker. Okay, I'm not.

Does Dexter drink milk? I can't remember. Anyway, I dated this guy who lived at home still. And so if I ever wanted to stay at his house, it was like family dinner. So it was like dinner with like his mum and dad and like brothers. You had to do the McChicken before you got the McChicken. The wrong order. And I remember the first time being there for dinner and his mum was like, oh, do you want a drink?

And he was like, oh, yeah, great. And you know how normally if someone asks you for a drink, you like specify what you want. But if you really know someone you like can guess what they would have. So if I was said to Torbs if we were out at dinner or something and I went, do you want a drink? And he went, yeah, I'd know to get him like a pint of beer. Yep.

And I would just figure it out. Yep. She said, do you want a drink? He said, yeah. She walks back over with a full glass of milk to have with dinner. With dinner? So we're having like steak and veggies and like salad or something. And he's fucking chugging on this raw dog milk.

I'm like, you can't have a dairy drink with your bloody steak. It's fucking, first of all, I mean, first, besides the taste, it's so filling. Your tummy would just be in turmoil. It's a whole other meal. Yeah. It's like a protein shake. Yeah, and you're right.

Your stomach would be in turmoil. Yeah. And then milk, if you had anything with like a bit of heat or spice or something, it just, no. No, thank you. Imagine the bloat afterwards. But yeah, and I was like, I should have sent that fucking red flag, eh? Like I should have just been like, thank you so much, but no thanks. But then if you have dinner and head upstairs and you're both full of milk. Well, I didn't have the milk. I just had water been like, thank you so much, but no thanks. But then if you have dinner and head upstairs and you're both full of milk.

Well, I didn't have the milk. I just had water. Oh, thank you. I thought they'd- I wasn't sloshing around. Yeah, I thought they were going to sit that next to you and you're just going to stare at that glass and go, are these motherfuckers expecting me to drink that? And you just, like, block your nose.

Hi, this is Tony's partner, Tobbs. I'm here with Ryan's wife, Bridget. And you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I have a bit of a conundrum that I need a bit of help on. So for you, Ryan. Fine, I'll sleep in your bed. For you, Ryan, and anybody listening, I want to start this by asking you a question.

Who is my favourite artist, like my favourite singer? Lady Gaga. Oh, my God, that's such a great answer. Is it not right? But no, that's not who I'm talking about. Okay, favourite singer. Not Adele. No.

No, no, no. Favourite singer. Not Avril Lavigne. Paramore. Why are you pointing up to the sky? Are they dead? Lord. Oh, fuck Lord.

Yeah, of course. Sorry. Yeah, Lord. No, you're right. I think you threw me because we've been talking about Lady Gaga recently. Yeah, we did talk about Lady Gaga the other day. To be fair, your favourite people, Alison Roman, who does the cooking shows, and second of all, Lord.

Lord. Yeah, they're your two. Lord and Alison Roman. They're your two. Great. They're my queens. They're your queens. They're your queens.

When people talk about the patriarchy, no, matriarchy. Wait. Every time someone mentions Lord, you just get flat. I do. Yeah, I do. You're gushing. Well, just get flat. I do. Yeah, I do. You're gushing. Well, guess what? Bring her in.

No, fuck off. She's not here. She's not here. Anyway, so I love Lorde. Yep. Every time she has come to Australia, I have missed out on seeing her. So one time she came and her concert in Perth was the day after I moved to Sydney but the Sydney concert had already happened.

So, like, I missed both of them. And then when I was, she came again and it was in Melbourne and something was on or something. Anyway, I vowed that the next time she comes to Australia, I'm fucking seeing her. It doesn't matter. You've missed out too many times. Come fucking hell or high Australia, I'm fucking seeing her. It doesn't matter. You've missed out too many times.

Come fucking hell or high water, I'm seeing Lorde. Yep. I, probably two years ago, she announced this new tour and I set 16 alarms on my phone. Tickets are on sale at 9 o'clock. I'm there at 8.59, refreshing, fucking ready to roll. And I am a Telstra customer. Oh.

But I've been with Telstra for like 100 years. Yeah. And they had like a pre-sale. So I woke up early. I like jumped on the computer. I'm sitting there refreshing. And I bought tickets for her to come to Melbourne. Yeah.

They're really good tickets as well. Good seats. So it's at the Sydney Meyer Music Bowl. And you know how they've got all of the seats along the bottom? Then they've got the balconies. Yeah. I've got a balcony. What the fuck?

Yeah. I bought. Yeah. Yeah. I spent money because I was like, I'm fucking going and I'm going to have a great fucking time. I bought two tickets because I was like, whether Torbs comes or somebody else, it doesn't fucking matter.

I will be on that balcony watching Lorde screaming and singing my head off. And is it fair to say you'll probably cry? Oh, definitely. Yeah. I love Lorde. Like I fucking love her. Yeah.

So I bought these tickets and then COVID lockdowns came again. It was supposed to be in March. So it was supposed to be two months ago. Oh, and it all got pushed back a two months ago. It all got pushed back. It all got pushed back because no one could travel and they didn't want to kind of half do it and whatever. So they pushed it back till next March. And so it is on the 11th of March, Saturday night.

I've got these great fucking tickets. Here comes the conundrum. Our video guy, Franco, I've worked with Franco for six years. We are really good friends. Yep. I know his partner, Jess, very well. Oh, no. And they recently got engaged.

Is he getting married at the Sydney Meyer Music Bowl? No, because it was booked out. Lord got in first. Yeah. And he lives in Wollongong. He's marrying Monique de Rocha. Wollongong is what, a 12-hour drive from Melbourne, a flight to Sydney and a drive.

A flight to Sydney and a couple-hour drive. It's a weekend. You can't pop up. It's a weekend. It's a holiday weekend. Yeah. I got the wedding, the save the date in the mail. Can you let Franco know my address?

Because I haven't got mine. I must have gotten lost, mate. You must have gotten lost. Well, you can have mine if you want. I open it up. Yep. It's the 11th of March. Yeah.

And I go, fuck yeah, that's in a year. I'm going to put that in my calendar right now so that I don't book anything that same weekend. I scroll through. You know on the Apple calendar how like when something's booked on that day, it's got a little dot? Yeah. I opened it up.

I was like, what the fuck? What? They're a fucking random dot in 2023. Lord tickets, same night. Saturday night? Saturday night. How many shows is Lord doing? Two.

Yep. Sold out, both sold out. Both sold out. How many shows is Lord doing? Two. Yep. Sold out. Both sold out.

Both sold out. And no way in fuck would I be able to get tickets as good as what I have for the Saturday on the Friday. You're on the balcony. Like there's just no, if anybody has those tickets, like they're not going to sell them or change them. Because they're hyper fans like you. They're not going to just, like if someone messaged you and goes, hey, mate, can I borrow those tickets?

You're like, fuck no. No way. Because they've also spent $400 on the fucking tickets. $200 each. You could buy rolling luggage for that. Well, I bought both. Trace on. So to be fair with the Wollongong wedding, that's not even a date.

You'd have to go up Friday. Totally. Yeah, like it's a full weekend. Like even if I got the tickets for the Friday, it would be cut and it'd fucking fine. I would like leave the concert and then drive be cut and it fucking fine. So. I would like leave the concert and then drive to Wollongong like that minute. So hang on a second. You're going to be in Melbourne.

Franco without Lorde is going to be in Wollongong. You've worked with Franco for six years. But i've loved lord for five and a half or like nine since she became a thing when when fucking pure heroine came out i the album the album i was lined up outside jb highFi to buy that album. Don't say lined up after that joke. And like Royals changed my life. So you've loved her forever. Franco is a very good friend, a great colleague, and arguably an important piece of the success that is Tony Lodge. Without Franco, there's probably this podcast wouldn't be what it is.

Yeah. Because he helps us with the videos every week. Yeah. So obviously, Tony Lodge made the difficult but clear decision and decided that. I'm going to go to the wedding. So if anyone wants two really good tickets to the Lord. Don't offer them.

I'll take them. Oh, a minute ago you wanted to go to the fucking wedding. No, I'm fucking off him now. No, I'm going to the Lord. Well, you can have them because I can't go. You're going to go to the wedding. Of course I am. What do you mean of course?

I honestly thought you were about to go, and obviously it was a hard decision, but Franco will understand. Franco is going to get married once. Lorde will come again. Says him now. I mean, everyone says that before their first wedding. Except for the next time he gets married, which will be to me. Yeah.

Franco's going to get married once. And when he's on his second time, and then his second wedding to some other floozy he'll meet in the future, that'll be the same day that Lady Gaga's like, oh, Tony, can I come around for dinner? And you're like, I fucking got Franco's second wedding. Oh, fuck. I'll kill him.

Yeah. Franco's going to get married once. Lorde's going to come again. I think I have to go to the wedding. Not have to. I think that, like, morally I want to be there and I'm honoured that he's invited me. We've been friends for a long time.

Yeah. It's really hard. As soon as I saw it, I was like, he's invited me. We've been friends for a long time. Yeah, it's really hard. As soon as I saw it, I was like, you are joking me. Like, you are fucking kidding. They are on the same day. Could you ask him to reschedule? No. I think that there is only one answer.

Do you agree? Here's the test. And to be, I mean, all jokes aside, I mean, I'm proud of you for making that decision, which probably would suck, but it probably is the right thing. Yeah. Here's the test, I mean, all jokes aside, I mean, I'm proud of you for making that decision, which probably would suck, but it probably is the right thing. Yeah. Here's the test, I reckon. Uh-huh.

Let's imagine us five years from now. Yep. Which decision would you regret in five years' time? I'd regret not going to the wedding. Yeah. A hundred percent. And that's how you know. Yeah. You look back and go, oh, remember when we went to Lorde?

Oh, that was a fun night. Oh, yeah. How good were the tickets? But like our mates were getting married somewhere else. Or you'd be like, you go and meet their kids in the future. Yeah. And you go to their house and you go, oh, remember when they got married? And you go, oh, I went to a concert.

Yeah. And you'd like five years later, you'd go, oh, fuck, I probably should have gone to the wedding. Totally. Yeah. I think, yeah, there's really only one answer, but it was not easy. So two Lorde tickets gone. I don't want you to take the tickets, though.

What the fuck? That was about to be why you love to see it. I was like, things you love to see? Lord on March 11. I'll be the one in the balcony not paying attention. But that's the thing. I don't want to think about you there because that would break my heart. Knowing that you're enjoying it.

Heaven forbid someone else have fun. Knowing that you're enjoying it while I'm not. Are you gatekeeping Lord? No, I'm not gatekeeping. It knowing that you're enjoying it. Heaven forbid someone else have fun. Knowing that you're enjoying it while I'm not. No, I'm not gatekeeping. It sounds like you're gatekeeping. I actually, and I'm not just saying this now, not as much as you either, but I also like Lorde. Yeah. I'm a fan of Lorde.

Bridget loves Lorde because, you know, Kiwis, heaven forbid, fucking they say anything bad about each other and they're fish and chips. Fuck, they're so patriotic New Zealand people. Yeah, they are. And rightfully so and they're fish and chips. Fuck, they're so patriotic New Zealand people. Yeah, they are. And rightfully so. It's a great country. Yeah. She would love to go.

And she just texted me and said, I'm so excited. I'm so glad that Franco fucking hates us and hasn't invited us to his wedding because we'll be at Lorde. Well, I wish he hated me. So are you just going to give him away then? I'd love for you guys to go and enjoy the concert. Are you just saying that? No, I'd love for you to go.

I will send you the tickets right now. Are you kidding me? No. On the balcony? They're really good. They're like, I woke up early and used pre-sale powers to get these fucking tickets. We get it.

You're a Telstra customer. Like, yeah. The perks. My love to see it is Telstra's amazing server. My love to see it is 10% off when you use Tony's code for Telstra. Telstra Tony 10. No, absolutely not. Yeah, you can have that if you would like to go.

I'll think about it and I'll let you know tomorrow. I have an idea. But if you end up doing that Ryan John Dunn thing. I'm not going to cancel on them and not use them. I will be so fucking heartbroken if you take them and then you don't go. What if you just gave them to a tarpa? Well, I thought about that. But there would be no way to make it fair.

Yeah. These tickets are fucking fantastic. Okay, I'll take them. Fine. But you can't cancel at the last minute. I wouldn't cancel on Lorde. You cancel on me all the time. You know why I'm not going to cancel on Franco.

You cancel on Franco. No wonder I'm not invited to the war. Hasn't that worked out well for me? Which I fucking cancelled. I cancelled and now I'll have to go and see Lorde from the balcony. Hi, this is Bridget, Ryan's wife. I'm here with Tony's better half, Torbs. Thanks for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

My You Love to See It was having my family over to Australia from New Zealand for Christmas, and it's the first Christmas we've all had together in probably 10 years, which is pretty huge. How about you, Torbs? My You Love to See It was our first Christmas with Pippa, her playing in our shell pool. It was a lovely day. Oh, that's so sweet. You love to see it, was our first Christmas with Pippa. Her playing in our shell pool was a lovely day.

Oh, that's so sweet. You'll love to see it. Tony and Ryan will be back on January 3. See you next year. See you next year.