Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Camping and in the Bedroom

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

Big Twiggo has passed the mic to our boy CHARLES PATTERSON to host for us today! After we go into the bedroom, we're off to court to discuss the hierarchy of communication. Toni and Ryan are back on deck on Jan 3! Love ya xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Charles Patterson and welcome back to a throwback episode of the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tony and Ryan are back on January 3rd with their dumbest idea yet, that's taking this hot sun garbage podcast to a whole new level. Coming up today, you'll learn about the hierarchy of communication. But first, this is things you can say camping and also in the bedroom. Things you can say camping and also in the bedroom. And quick one, you were a camping family growing up, weren't you? Yeah, we were. We went to Broome camping every year. Every year? Every July school holidays, every single year. So would you go camping again or do you feel like you've done that?

Because I feel like people are either into it or they're just like, nah. So we camped like in a caravan park. Yep. So it wasn't like camping in the bush for two weeks or anything. I don't mind camping but I like to be organised and I'm quite scared of the dark. That's not surprising. Yeah, and so the thought of camping actually kind of frightens me

because, like, you're in, like, an unsecure, like if you were in a caravan park or, like, staying at a YMCA or something, it's fine. But, yeah, like just staying in the bush. Like I fucking, I've watched Wolf Creek. Like I'm not into it. Like it actually really freaks me out, the thought of, like, staying in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. I'm more of an Airbnb girl. Like, I'm not into it. Like, it actually really freaks me out, the thought of, like,

staying in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. I'm more of an Airbnb girl. Okay, righto. You've changed. What about you? You're not a camper. I used to camp the family, like, not with mum and stuff,

but with, like, my friends. We used to go camping with their family down in Wilson's Prom. Yeah. Beautiful down there. School camps, we literally camped a few times. I forgot about school camp. I think for me a holiday, and this sounds like me being the laziest piece of shit ever, just the ability, I would rather be in my own house on the couch watching a movie I want than like being

dirty in a camp and sleeping on the floor. I have trouble sleeping so sometimes I want to get up in the night and go do something and I feel like I'm in a campsite, it's so quiet and I can't go anywhere or do anything. Yeah, you're like you're there. Yeah. And I like the idea of, you know, playing cards and sitting by the fire and stuff but, like, I could do that

and then sleep in a house. Yeah, so Bridget and I will play Monopoly and have a wine or something. I'm all for that. Yeah. But like you said, I then would happily go to a bed that's not on the ground, thanks. Yeah, thank you so much, though. Yeah.

Our friends and I will often get a massive house and all chip in for the weekend, so it's like a six-bedroom. It's like a dorm. Kind of, yeah. And so we all chip in a bit of money. It ends up being real cheap because you're dividing it by 15 of you. Yeah. But again, it's still a place with a roof. Yeah.

Does that make me a bigot? Wrong word. What's the word I'm after? because you're dividing it by 15 of you. Yeah. But again, it's still a place with a roof. Yeah. Does that make me a bigot? Wrong word. What's the word I'm after? I don't know. What's a bigot? Bigot is like if you're like super homophobic and super racist and like. Oh. Yeah.

I thought it was like bigot as in like I'm bigger and better than someone who would camp. No. Not. I don't think that word exists. You come for the good chats and you stay for the pronunciation and definitions and using the right words. Is that what you said earlier?

Things you can say camping and also in the bedroom. Mate, you can't say anything. No. Having sex while camping is crazy it's fucking intense i was wondering who was gonna say that one first that's how i put it oh it looks wet uh probably should put a tarp down put a tp down. Put a Tony and Ryan podcast down.

Oh, I hope we have travel insurance. Especially because of the strong breeze around here. Oh, yeah. It'll blow. Don't you worry. Tony, I've told you once. I've told you a thousand times, would you please secure those flaps? You can pound it in as hard as you want.

Nothing can secure these flaps. It's weird getting it up in front of your family, isn't it? Depends on how close you are, really. No one should be that close with their family. I know you're adopted, mate, but still. Not blood related. I have a question. It's really fucked. If you found out, right?

The answer's already no. No. Okay. Question. If you found out that Bridget was your long lost sister. Why did you ask this? But you didn't grow up together. Is that more weird than dating like a stepsister

who's not blood related but you grew up as siblings? The Bridget one is less weird because the problem with someone being. I mean, there's no good answer here, is there? But the thing about someone like being your, is that you grow up together and it's like, oh, you're my brother, you're my sister, like we love each other like in a family way. So my dad's remarried so I've got like step. To his sister?

No. So I've got step-sister. So his wife has got kids. Yeah. Sorry, I jumped far too far into that. Zero to 100. Yeah. And so his new wife's children are like my step-brother and sister. So they're not blood related. Not blood related. They wouldn't be

anyway. And then I didn't really grow up with them. But like oh no, they're like my brothers and sisters. Yeah. But you've known about them in the capacity of them being your brother and sister. But still I think with Bridget, if I found out Bridget was a long-lost relative, it would probably just, you'd get the ick whether you thought it was right or wrong. It would just be like, nah, this is nah. I mean, we don't live in Florida.

Yeah, or Tasmania. That would be different. All right, sorry. Back to fucking on. Please never ask me a question about that again. Why? Well, I've asked it once. Don't need to ask again.

Because like I said, there's no good, when you're like, which one's worse? I'm like, they're both a zero. They're both worse. Yeah, they're both worse. Hope you do have insurance. Hey, Tony. You'll be seeing stars tonight. Oh, because I'll be on my back.

So you mean? Yeah. That'll do. Your one and only position. I do like it. So I've heard. And so is the rest of the campsite. She's right.

She is fucking intense. She keeps saying, come back, come back. Oh, I can feel something digging in my back, actually. Sorry. His name's Charles. There's someone else in here with us. Or is that the name of your tent peg? Shall I pass you my peg?

You hang on. I'll end up with me anyway. I only need it for like five minutes minutes and then you can have it back. Oh, no, this is soaking wet. Mmm. No. Yeah, no. Okay.

No, that's fine. No, it was yes. Oh. Like, two yes. Oh, no. Okay. No, that's fine. No, it was yes. Oh. Like two yes. Oh, two yes. I always forget just how dirty it is and just how bad it smells. That's not something you want to hear in either situation. No.

You don't want to hear that you're going to sleep in a dirty tent and you don't want to hear that you're sleeping in a dirty tent. You know what I mean? I know what you're saying. I don't know. Look what I've erected. Yeah, I can see that you're pinching a tent. Pinching a tent. Fuck!

I hate myself. That would have been so funny. Hey, Tony. Hey. Open those flaps. I'm coming in. Your tent. Zzz.

Everyone can hear when you're coming in. Everyone that's camping around. It's amazing how this massive thing comes out of nowhere. It's in that little bag and then fucking up she goes. And fucking up she goes. This is for when you like taking care and packaging the sleeping bag. It's always easy to get out of the sack, but it's really hard to get back in. But seriously, you know when you finish camping and you have to roll your sleeping bag up and put it in that little bag?

Yeah. I just throw it in the back of the car. Unrolled. I don't want you to throw it in the back of my car. Who knows where it's been? You're going to have to hit this way harder. That's all I've got? Yeah. Okay. That's all I've got. Yeah.

Okay. That's all right. Maybe next year. I'm sorry. I should have tried to pitch the tent before I started drinking. I'll have a few beers. I'll get it up later. And you never did. I never did. I've had too few beers. I'll get it up later. And you never do. I never do, never.

I've had too many beers now. I'll just have to stay flaccid on the ground over there by itself. I'll sleep in the car. Oh, please don't make a mess. It is such a long walk to the toilet. It's always the way, though, isn't it? I can't cup that far. That's crap.

Always remember to bring a towel into the tent with you. Because when the guy comes out and goes, oh, g'day, Ryan, how are you going? Oh, good, thanks. Where's the, can I just grab a towel? Does anyone have a towel that I could borrow? Pumping this up is just useless. If we're going to get it there properly, we'll just have to blow it. You just run out of so much breath, though.

Oh, we should have come in one car, not two. We've come in both. I come in peace. I come very loud. Okay. What about when camping? Woo! After these fucking intense weekends, I always end up with a sore back.

Every time. Every time. You're too old for fucking intense weekends. Tense weekends. Works on two levels. Okay, this one's if you're either camping in the woods or partying in Collingwood, Melbourne. Okay. Or for anything to do with camping in the bedroom as well. Good, because that's the topic.

Why is it that I'm always attracting bears? So they can smell you a mile away. Fresh meat. Bring your cum gun. Just in case. Things get out of control. This is what I'd say when I go camping with George Wendell and his mates. Let's rub these sticks together and see if we can't create some heat.

Do you just rub your penises together? It's called docking. Don't Google it. Whoa! Where's that pole going? We should read the instructions. I don't think that's right. Hey, this is Charles Patterson,

and you're listening to a throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. There is a hierarchy of communication. The more important a message, the closer the communication needs to be. If it's really important, maybe it's in person. Yes. If it's pretty important, maybe a phone call. Yeah. If it's not a big deal, shoot them a text, a DM, WhatsApp, whatever.

You're getting the vibe I'm getting out here? Yeah. Or if you said we need to talk, I'd shit and then I'd drive to your house. I'd shit. For example. Yes. There has been a bit of communication hierarchy chat within the Lodge family. Yeah.

Did we decide we were going to talk about this? I don't think so, but that's fine. So a couple of years ago on Christmas Day, beautiful day, Torbs and I were spending time with Jag and Lane, our best friends for Christmas because we were stuck in Melbourne. It was like during COVID and stuff. And I logged onto Facebook and as we know, what do you see on Facebook and Instagram every Christmas Day?

Always proposals. People getting engaged. And I logged on and this beautiful diamond ring shows up. I'm like, oh, who's gotten engaged? It was my sister. And that's how you found out? Yep. And good on them.

Like her and her partner, Kenesha, they are very, very happy together. They got a baby. Like they are just, oh, goals. But, yeah, and that's how I found out that they were engaged. You just didn't think to call her sister and give you the heads up, share the news with you? It's a tough one, isn't it, because. Well, what did the rest of the family think?

Well, we were all kind of like, oh, you would think that there would be a phone call there. Yeah. But, I mean, now is it just like fucking one and done? Rip the band-aid off. You post it once, everyone sees it at the same time. Maybe she's onto something. I've got a few tests for you here, Tony Lodge.

Ooh. Hang on, I've just unpacked my family trauma. Do you have one? I think my grandma shared that Bridget and I were engaged before I had a chance to call all the cousins. Oh. And grandma gets a bit trigger happy on the socials. Can I say something?

You do too. What do you mean? You are such an amazing friend. What have I done? Don't fucking buff me out. You're such an amazing friend. What have I? But you love to share other people's news.

Like what? Because you just get so excited. I do get excited. Yeah, and you get really proud. I'm proud of you. You get very proud and you often share news. Like what? There's been a few things that, like, you've told Bridget.

Have I outed you? Oh, no, never outed me, but, like, you've kind of said, like, oh, Tony's so excited because she got this thing. I'm like, that's totally fine. Of course you're going to go home and tell your wife. And then you go and excitedly tell Bridget and she's like, I fucking know. And she pretends to be excited and I go, Ryan already told you, eh? And she's like, yeah, he did.

Okay, if it suits you, Tony Lodge, I will never speak to my wife again. No. Heaven forbid you be put in that situation. And Bridget has told me as well that she's had exciting news, Tony Lodge, I will never speak to my wife again. No. Heaven forbid you be put in that situation. And Bridget has told me as well that she's had exciting news that like then your mum's called Bridget and said, oh, Ryan just told me about this thing. And Bridget's like, oh, well, I would have loved to tell Mandy myself. Yeah.

Yeah. I get excited. No, you do. And it's because you are just so proud and excited. But so I see that it runs in the family that your grandma has done the same thing. Okay. But you would be gutted because your engagement,

that's such a huge thing. Tony quit her job the other day. We're all in on the podcast. Ryan. You let it run, no one, you're ready. Ryan. You gave him plenty of notice. He'll still be there for a while.

Just in time for us to go five days a week. Ryan. Okay, here's the test. Shouldn't that have been like a big moment where we go like, oh, I'm by the way. Catch the shareholders update tomorrow. Question one. Or did she?

Find out tomorrow. Oh, fucking hell. Okay. All right. Here's the test of the hierarchy of communication. Yep. Ironically, the first question here. If I'm thinking that I can't be bothered doing the Tony

and Ryan podcast anymore, would that be a text message? Would that be a phone call or would that be an in-person? That's in-person. That is fucking in-person. Are you joking me? I've just quit my job and you're going to text me? That you're joking me? I quit my job and then I cop a text?

Definitely an in person conversation. Oh, you flapped me. I hate this. It's hypothetical until the last one. You know how Bridget and I borrowed your car a few weeks ago when our car was getting serviced? Yes. If we crashed the car or like dinged it or backed into it or something,

would that be a text message, a phone call or an in-person? Oh, that's a good one actually. I think a phone call. Same. I reckon because it's like, mate, I'm so fucking sorry. Don't worry about it. Like we've taken it to the place. Like we'll get it sorted out. But I wanted to let you know straight away. Yeah. phone call same i reckon because it's like mate i'm so fucking sorry don't worry about it like we've taken it to the place like we'll get it sorted out but i wanted to let you know straight

away yeah because you're not gonna then i rock up to your house and be like oh cool here's the keys by the way we crashed it yeah i feel like the phone call implies i've told you as soon as i could and that's the that's the thing and the text is a bit shit it's the time yeah a text to be like hey dinged your car hope hope you got insurance, babe. Yeah, because then you would just instantly call back. Because instantly I'm like, oh, are you okay? What's going on? Maybe that's what it is.

If it's a thing that is kind of serious and is going to have lots of follow-up questions, maybe that's when it needs to be a call. Unlike on where we're getting at. You know? We're laying down rules for society. Okay, imagine this. The first episode of a new season of The Bachelor is on. Yeah.

And we want to like hate watch it, judge all the contestants. You know the first step, you meet all the people and you just sit there and you're like, look at this chick. Yeah. Oh, she's going to win. He's going to lose. Yeah. And we want to do that together with wine and pizza.

Yeah. Is that an email? Is that a phone call or a text message? Or do I have to come around and propose the idea? As in to actually do it or to ask me if we should? To ask if we should. Oh, I reckon a text is fine. Lol, we should hate watch Batchy tonight.

Haha, come around at six. Perfect. I reckon that's a text or a Google Meet invite. Now here's something. Put it in my calendar. Put it in text. I get bing, bing, and I'm like, okay, go on Orion's tonight, turn my phone over, then don't have to worry about it.

Now, hopefully these two things happen this year. I don't know if it's together, but say if. Is this a surprise? Have you surprised? No, no, no. No, this is for you. Hopefully I'll get to tell you this this year. That Bridget and I have bought a house and they were expecting a baby.

Not at the same time. Imagine if it happened at the same time. Is that a text for you? Do I send you a thing on Slack? This is a different question because this depends. And just let me be clear, this isn't a, neither of those are the case. No, but like I think that that depends on the level of friendship. That's what I mean. And this is purely for Tony and Ryan.

The podcast. Oh, my God. I don't know. I think. Like if Bridget was pregnant and I texted you, would you be a bit like. Oh, I'd be like, oh, what? And then I'd probably ring you. Hence why maybe a phone call.

Or. Or would you want to be there to hug and touch the tummy and do all the freaky silly things that you do? Yeah, I kind of would. I feel like I'd appreciate it if you were like, hey, let's have dinner tonight. And then maybe it was like, look, we wanted to get you over here. We're fucking celebrating.

Like we got the house and Bridget is pregnant. Yay. Like I guess in an ideal world that's what it would be. But, yeah, I think I'd like the phone call. What's that word when you like envision things for the future? Manifest. Let's manifest that. Yes.

Okay, manifest, manifest, manifest. Buy some really nice champagne. I know Bridget can't drink, but I can. Yeah, so the two of us can get a line. Oh, what about Torbs? I'm sure he's invited. I mean, he's the father, so. He'd probably already know.

Bridget and Torbs call us. Guys, I've got news. Is this a phone call or should you come round? They put it on Google Meet. Let us know. Yes, no. Yes, no. Agenda, pregnancy.

All right, finally, and this isn't a hypothetical and I just want to put it out there. Yep. I am not proud of this. What? When I was at Power FM, the radio station in the Hunter Valley. Yeah. Shout out, 98.1.

Nice. I was kind of sort of dating my housemate. Oh. Like I lived in a, I've just found a share house. Yeah. Got along really well with Laura who was there. Hi, Laura. To the point where we actually rented out my room because I wasn't

in there anymore. So you were just sleeping in her room. Yeah. So I got a new job and was moving to Mildura and we had discussed her coming and we'd never had the chat. I was just sleeping in her room, whatever. And so we discussed that she is going to come to Mildura. That's huge.

Yeah. So she flies to Mildura, a few job interviews, checks out the town, stays for a week. How long had you been sleeping together for? Not that long. A few months. Okay. A few months is in three or like seven?

No, one or two. Oh, my God. Maybe two months, yeah. How old were you? I've just fucking broken my microphone. How old were you? 24, 25 maybe. Okay.

And so she comes over, checks the place out, and then she goes back and we're kind of like, and then I've decided, hang on. This is not. And don't get, sweetheart, lovely lady. Lovely lady. That sounds like a really weird thing to say. I don't know what to say.

I'm just trying to say that there was just. She was a lovely lady. There was nothing against her. I just kind of went, hang on. What are we doing? I've just. We barely know each other. Yeah.

You're going to. And her whole family was from them. Like, you're going to leave your family, you're going to quit that great job. And then I was like, oh. That's a lot of pressure. That's a lot of pressure. And I kind of was like, oh, you know what?

This might be moving a bit too quick. Maybe you just, you know, getting rid of your place, moving over here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What did you do? Ryan Jonathan Dunn. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. I said, and I am happy to admit when I'm wrong, I am sometimes.

Tony just pulled the Rankers face. Oh, yeah, whatever, mate. I am not proud of this. You were young. I'm actually embarrassed. Oh, mate. I got catfished by a girl on the internet who told me she was from Twilight. Yeah, I mean, whatever happens here, I'm not the biggest fuckwit.

Did I A, call her? Did I B, go back to the Hunter Valley to let her know in person? Or did I C, send a message on Facebook Messenger? Obviously you went back to the Hunter Valley and told her in person. She was willing to give up her job, move away from her family. Phone call then must have been. Facebook Messenger. And back then it wasn't even a separate app.

You just commented pretty much. On her much. I put it on her status. I put it on her wall. Did she post on her wall? Hey, girlfriend. Maybe not A. Have you read it? And then she poked you. She poked you on Facebook.

The irony that she would never get poked by me again. Did she respond? Like what happened? Because you would go a bit nuclear at that point. Like she would say that and be like, bro, I'm like willing to move to where you are. How did she respond? Poor Laura.

She just said she was very disappointed. And then we spoke on the phone after that. And I actually knew. So you did that to like break the ice? I knew straight away. That that was a dick move. That that was a dick move. That that was a dick move. But I guess this isn't an excuse, by the way.

You're just so scared and such a pussy. I didn't have the guts to do it in person. And for me, and again, it's poor, but it was the easy way out. Yeah. In hindsight, I look at it and go, young, stupid Ryan took the easy way out when if he had some bad news to give, the least I could have done is just front up and tell him. Is call and say, like, look, we need to talk.

It's not quite right. I'm feeling the pressure. We've been not even really together. We've just been hanging out for a few months and we're going to, you're going to, yeah, I don't know. I still feel awful about it. Oh, fuck. So that's the hierarchy of communication.

I'll tell Bridget to delete her Facebook just in case. You can't break up with me if I don't have it. Hey, this is Charles Patterson. And thanks for listening to this throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. My You Love to See It is that Tony and Ryan in 2022 were able to build a community of people all from different backgrounds that have one common interest and have built it to over 37,000 people on Facebook from around the world.

You definitely love to see that. Don't forget, Tony and Ryan are back on January 3rd. Thanks for listening.