Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Is Toni a bogan?

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

We hope you had an amazing Christmas!!! Ashley Olsen (Mary-Kate wasn't available) is taking care of your listening for while you're in your cheese and turkey induced Christmas Coma! The ultimate bogan test, and creeeepy real estate agents. Toni and Ryan are back on deck on Jan 3! Love ya xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Ashley Olsen, and on behalf of my famous twin sister and I, we'd like to welcome you to this throwback episode of the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tony and Ryan are back on January 3rd with their dumbest idea yet, is taking this hot, fun, garbage podcast to a whole new level. Coming up today, you'll hear about the creepiest real estate agent. But first, this is a test to see if Tony Lodge is a bogan. Enjoy. How you know you're a bogan, according to the Daily Mail. Now, think Sophie Monk. She's openly called herself a bogan. I hope so because if not, that's offensive.

No, I don't think that being called a bogan is offensive. Don't you? I don't think it's a. You called me a bogan last week. Was it last week, the week before? I also don't think it's a compliment though. Is that a fair kind of. Yeah, no, it's not a compliment.

You know, we're about to obviously explain, but do you know what I reckon is worse? When someone calls you a cashed up bogan. Ooh. Yeah, I reckon that's mean. This became a thing in Australia because carpenters, electricians, plumbers, even people in mining, earned so much money 10 years ago that they were earning way more

than like white collarcollar jobs. Yeah. And so this term cashed up Bogan became a thing. It's a big thing in WA because people started working on the mines up north. Earning hundreds of thousands a year. Yeah, they were just earning crazy money. So what did they do with it?

Well, they spent it on like V8 Holdens and... Jet skis, big screen TVs. Yeah, houses in Baldivis. Like a couch with a built-in fridge. Yeah, an electric recliner couch. Like, you know, yeah. Oh, it goes back. Yeah, a sleeve tattoo, you know, cool stuff.

So I am a, I grew up around cash-up bogans, like from Perth. Was your family? I mean, you did go to the Speedway every Friday night. Yeah, when I was a kid, we always went to the Speedway. I don't know if we were cashed-up bogans. Maybe not full cashed-up, but did you think maybe deep inside somewhere there was a cashed-up bogan that could have been unleashed if the timing was right?

Definitely, definitely. Like if cash came in, it'd be going straight back out on unleashed if the timing was right? Definitely. Definitely. Like if cash came in, it'd be going straight back out on jet skis. Am I right? Oh, no, not jet. Cars. Yeah, like my family had cars. Yeah, that's Bogan area.

And boats. Yeah, good areas. Yeah, like boat in the front yard. Yeah. See, we're right on. I don't even have to start reading the list. Yeah, like boat in the front yard. Yeah. See, we're right on. I don't even have to start reading the list. Yeah, like just explain Tony's life. Well, this is where I'm nervous for you.

Oh, don't. Because I just said it's not offensive. Because as I read this list. I just said it's not offensive and now I'm like, don't say it. If I read this list, some are going to say, hang on, is this from the Daily Mail or is this Ryan describing Tony's upbringing? Fuck off. Oh, my God.

And the first one will set the tone. Great. This is how you know you're a bogan, according to the Daily Mail. Responding with, get fucked when someone tells you some news. Okay. Okay. Is that bogan? Tell it to a daily mail, mate. Is that bogan?

I just work here. I just read the articles. Is that bogan, though? It's not not bogan. You say get fucked as well. Okay, so we're both one all. I'll score. It's the Tony and Ryan off for who's a bogan.

Growing up, you had a fridge in the lounge room and a deep freezer in the laundry or garage. We did have a deep freezer in the laundry. Yep. But we didn't have a fridge in the lounge room. How many fridges did you have? We had two. Yeah, see, it's implying that you had a fridge in the kitchen

and you needed a fridge somewhere else, so you just got to find a spot for it. But it was in a bar, like we had a bar room. Oh, is that worse? Excuse me. Sorry? Nothing. You had a bar?

Yeah, we had a bar room. What do you mean a bar room? Like, so a room in our house that was like. The bar. Yeah. It was actually really cool. So it's like built up and I had like a bar bench and stuff and all of the seats had like little plaques like engraved

of like my dad's mates and stuff. You fucking hell. This is real Bogan area. Did you have that? No. Did you have a fridge? Yeah, one fridge. Fuck off.

Who's got one fridge? Us and other non-bogan people. Did you have a deep freezer? No, we had a freezer attached to the fridge. Like there's one thing. Fridge at the top, fridge at the bottom. Okay. Oh, no.

Okay. Number three, you had a bar. Oh, fuck. I wonder if, is you had a bar. Oh, fuck. I wonder if, is it an American thing as well to have bars or is it purely bogan Australia? I don't know. But, yeah, ours was like a proper, like it was always stocked, like they had every type of alcohol, like cocktail shakers,

like really gorgeous, like crystal glasses. As you know, and I've said it a million times, I'm sorry to annoy everyone about it, that I'm like looking for a house at the moment. Yeah, no, that's not annoying. It's exciting. And so we go to open houses and a lot of older places from the 70s and 80s will have a bar in the rumpus room. But now, having

a bar is chic as fuck. It's the type of bar though. Yeah. Because these are like the big bench thing and just like in a beer fridge where you have like a nice wall for your spirits and a wine fridge. We had that. I mean, it wasn't chic, but it was like proper.

Number four. Fucking hell. It's three versus one at the moment, by the way, for Tony. You had a boat out the front. Oh, Ryan. Number five. What? Two boats?

Two boats? Oh, we're not cashed What? Two boats. Two boats. Oh, we're not cashed up boat. We just have two boats in the front yard. So one's like a really nice one. The Sunday boat. And then the other one was. Just for a run around town. Like a dinghy boat for like dad to go fishing off.

Yeah. Next one. There was pictures of your dad from fishing trips holding up fish. Probably near the bar. Pictures of us, like, surfing. Probably not him fishing, but pictures of us surfing. Okay, if he had caught something worth taking a photo of, would it have been up?

Yeah, definitely. There we go. I'll give myself half a point. Next one, when you finish a bag of chips or shapes, you shake the bag to get the last of the flavouring. No, I don't do that because I think that's foul. I agree. It's messy.

I just hate it. Yeah, because you dump it and then it just goes all over your clothes. Would you lick your finger and then like wipe it up? No, I don't think so. Okay, me neither. Okay. Oh, you get a point for that. That's bogan.

Is that really? Oh, okay. Yep. Where? Oh, okay. Yep. When you're in charge of the food shopping, you live off either supermarket pasta salad or cheese and bacon rolls.

That was not on the Daily Mail. Are you calling the Daily Mail liars? No, I'm calling you a liar. Their legal team will fucking light you up. Link in bio. I'm calling you a liar. Their legal team will fucking light you up. Link in bio, link in bio. I'm calling you a liar. Did it really swear on our friendship that it said specifically cheese and bacon rolls?

What are you accusing me of? This is defamation. You called me a liar. Swear on our friendship that it said specifically cheese and bacon rolls because you know that when I was batching it the other week that I lived off cheese and bacon rolls, I would like for you to look me in the eye and tell me that the Daily Mail article specifically said cheese

and bacon rolls. Number nine. Okay, being a fucking jerk, that's a bogan point for you. Number nine, gets very defensive about the cheese and bacon rolls. Okay, two points to me. Hey, this is Ashley Olsen, and you're listening to a throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. In Melbourne at the moment, over the last year or so,

house prices are through the roof. The fucking COL, cost of living. Cost of living is crazy. The interest rates are going up. And I'm pretty sure it's the same in Sydney, in Auckland. I believe a lot of the world's major cities it's just one of those trends where everything's getting real expensive you're a finance guy just just the just the economy there's a fucking economy well i mean the war has made things more expensive what it all comes down to is supply and demand that's good and ultimately

uh the way that we need to look at this is from a strategic perspective. And ultimately, with the inflation pressures, we just need to think about supply and demand. What's your stance on where should we go with monetary policy given the inflationary pressures uh well i'm actually not here to speak about that today um so i could hand your question off to one of my colleagues uh but currently we're just staying on on topic which is supply and demand i said supply and demand like 12 times that's all it is right that's well i mean you're actually not wrong. Yes.

So something that's been happening in Melbourne, and again, wherever you are, this might be the case, but say you see a house and it says online, let's say between $600,000 and $700,000. You know it's going for one point, Matt. And then it goes to an auction and it's like, because if it's between six and seven and you're like, oh, we've got maybe $680,000, you know, we might be in here. Maybe we're in a chance, yeah. And then it goes to auction for six and seven and you're like, oh, we've got maybe 680, you know, we might be in here.

Maybe we're in a chance, yeah. And then it goes to auction for 1.2 and you're like, what the fuck am I doing here? And there's just no hope for anybody, like people that are hoping to buy a house. Like, I think Torbs and I, my partner, we've been together for eight years and we're kind of just like, we're, I guess we're just happy to rent forever. Because. I guess that's our reality. And that's fine because we choose to live in the city. That's what we want to do. But I think.

Have a courtyard as big as it is, you know. Well, I couldn't afford to buy something like that. No way. Not that fucking courtyard. No way. None of us could. It's like a fucking football field. It really is.

So, but you kind of develop this language with the real estate agents. You kind of go like. Oh, so you like get them on side. Yeah, but you're like, I don't want to waste my time, but they also, it's a waste of their time if they explain this house to me and it turns out I'm nowhere near it. So you kind of go like, and here's the line I've been using.

The people selling the house, what would they be happy with? That sounds very professional. Yeah, because then you get a, oh, if they got 800, they'd be really happy with that. And you go, okay, well, at least we kind of sort of trying to figure out where we are. Because their aim is to get the highest price, but yours is to pay the least. So you don't want to give the game away. Yeah, but say if someone wanted a house and they had 1.2 million to spend and they look online and they go, oh, well, I'm not going to go to the house that's going for 700,000 because I can get way better than that so they go to the

ones that are in their price range but they're going for 1.9 and so the whole thing's out the whole system's out of order it's the supply and demand it's the supply and demand yeah it's the inflation pressures so this one guy last week oh and a lot of real estate agents are nice they go hey it's a wild ride. Things are going for more. Like, it's hard to say, but, you know, we're hoping around here. And you go, well, I appreciate you trying. Yeah.

And some guys are just fuckheads. So one guy, I said, hey, mate, let's go on an auction next week. What's the ballpark? What do you reckon? Like, am I in the game here? Is it even worth me coming down? Yeah. And he goes, what's it gonna go

for well that's up to you guys and gave me the little point of finger guns what a flog what i would have thrown up on him and walked out because i'm a professional professional woman you don't have time to waste that oh that just fucks me off i'm like i know that you're just trying to be like diplomatic and whatever but you're actually just acting like a cockhead if someone finger guns me i don't like you i don't know where people are getting off for finger guns they don't work for you it's not looking good you think you're being a hot shot you look like a fucking idiot is it to like break are you trying to be like oh like so you don't have to give an answer but it's like i've done something crazy i've distracted you like what is it yeah that's what yeah what is your end game here because i i'm just annoyed now so in my opinion they should

have taken finger guns away when they did the amnesty handguns finger guns take them all away that's a very australian joke no what no semi-automatic or automatic weapons in australia yeah or handguns or finger guns government. Take the finger guns away. The buyback scheme. Yeah, the buyback. Take the fucking finger guns with you. That guy, he's got no hands. What happened?

Buyback. Hey, mate, you holding? Anyone with hands? You're like, oh, I don't know about that. Put that back in the hole, sweetheart. Anyway. So he goes, oh, you guys should come down to the auction. It's going to be great.

We've got pizza and a DJ. What? It's next Thursday night great. We've got pizza and a DJ. What? It's next Thursday night in Coburg. Should we go? We could go have a party. Free dinner? But I'm like, are you in the business of selling houses or are you just, come down for the pizza and the DJ or whatever?

Can you, sorry, sidebar. Can you please promise me that if you buy a house at auction that has like pizza and a dj and that like you're holding a piece of pepperoni and then you win the house like they go sold and you buy and then you go oh most expensive pizza pizza you have to promise me one by two million for a piece of pepperoni oh should, should have gone to bloody Coles. Domino's would have been cheaper. You have to promise me.

Okay. I promise you I'll do that. Yeah, okay. Continue with your story. Oh, that was an expensive cup of coffee. So there's a pizza shop across the road. It's on Bell Street in Coburg for those in Melbourne. And the idea of the pizza was to-

That's like a fucking cool area as well. Yeah the idea was to kind of like he's like yeah so you get a feel of the the neighborhood like you know the pizza shop and i'm like that's quite a good idea but i was like mate you know most places have a local pizza shop yeah most places in melbourne and australia and the world have a pizza shop in their vicinity yeah like hey if we move to coburg you know what they've got pizza a pizza place it's like fucking little italy like it's like not that shocking and the most exciting part about moving to a new place is punching in the new address and looking at the uber eats yeah checking out the new oh yeah and you open it up and you go oh look at all these new places yeah Yeah. There's pizza on the list. Yeah. Here's what I was most intrigued by, though.

Okay. And the two of us, we are doing a job we love right now. You and I, yeah. Oh, my God. But we have also done jobs that we haven't loved. But sometimes when you're starting out in an industry, you do what you've got to do. Totally.

Cut your teeth kind of thing. Who's this young DJ doing auctions? And I'm actually like, hey to you mate you get a paid job you take it it's a good gig yeah one day you'll be doing big clubs and whatever but for a thursday night and i'm guessing you'll probably get a bit of pizza um he's like i'm a vegan so make sure that you get you know an artichoke pizza so you know how you get those... So I thought of this later and I thought this was the funniest thing ever, but the next minute we'll show it's not that funny. You know how in a club some DJs will play music and others are like,

all right, everyone, let's go. And they get right into it. Yes, and DJ on the ones and twos kind of thing. Yeah. So imagine that's where this guy wants to get to and he's been booked for an auction. He's like, all right, everyone, put your hands in the air. But not now because we're bidding.

Or he's like, okay, 123 Fake Street Coburg. Who's ready for an ensuite? I rate that and i hope that that's actually what they do oh uh mr ryan john don was that a bit of 1.23 no i was just raising my hands to raise the roof get a building inspection because i raised the roof Raise the roof. Fuck, man. Does this roof come this raised all the time or is it just because this guy's dropping Beyonce? Do you come with the house?

All right, so I did a poll in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Yes. Who are the sleaziest salespeople? Is it A, finger gun DJ hiring real estate agents? Is it car sales? And I was surprised that someone else, Lillian Tabasco, she added her own category. Yeah.

And it was a spicy hot category. Nice. The people in the middle of shopping centres. Oh. The worst thing about them is that they guilt you they make you feel really bad when i was in by the way you know they get paid by commission right oh really so when you get so when you get paid you give a ten dollar donation yeah they get like 20 they get two dollars but it's a donation but like that's like the administrative costs of the charity sure so it's like when you donate online they're like oh do you want to cover the cost as well so then it's instead of ten dollars it's ten dollars fifty or

whatever yeah so they get they don't like on an hourly rate and they're not in inverted commas volunteers they're sales people looking for a commission they don't care about the thing any less than you do yeah right so when i lived in canberra um the sort of main street they're always people and you know like international students like trying to earn some bucks with her and you know you see him coming and you're like don't look at him don't look at him don't make eye contact don't make eye contact and this guy's like hey man how you doing i was like oh good thanks he goes oh today we're talking about um and i know it's like the cliche thing to say but he was actually it was actually like um kids in Africa yeah and I was like mate

like world vision or something yeah and I was like mate I actually I've got a meeting I can't stop and chat and just tried to like walk through and be polite and just go, oh, all the best, but I can't today yet. And you know what he says? As I was already past him. Also, you hate African kids, do you? How are you supposed to respond? Like, I know that they're doing a job, but how are you actually supposed to respond to that? Like, what are you, like, I'm actually just uncomfortable thinking about that situation

because I don't want people to think that. Tony, do you hate that? No. I mean, I know you. How many times have you donated to African kids in the last hour? Zero. You do hate them. I've been working.

You fucking hate them. Yeah, so do you expect me to turn around and go, oh. Yeah, I do. Thanks. Like, what are you supposed to fucking say to that? I thought that was the rudest thing I ever heard. And I mentioned this on the radio when I was in Canberra. And the phones go crazy, as it did in our Facebook group.

People are like, it happens all the time. Those people, I don't want to. They're working for a charity. It's like, I can't be mean to you because you work for a charity. Yeah, but it happened to me last week and it was for people like, yeah, a charity or something. And I was walking towards Coles and I had like my bag in my hand and my phone in my hand as well.

And I'm pretty sure I was texting you like. Don't drag me into your story. No, no, no. But I wasn't pretending to like be on the phone. I was actually like on my phone. I was actually on my phone. Hey, Ryan, it's Tony. I'm just texting you so it looks like I'm texting. Yeah, thank you so much.

Oh, hello. Is that my mum on the phone? Hello, mum. I don't know. What an inconvenient time for you to call. I was just about to donate to the African Children. Yeah, but now you're back from the dead. I've got to take it.

Sorry, it's my dead mum on the phone. I've got to take it. What's your excuse for not donating? My mum's alive. She just back from the dead. I've got to take it. Sorry, it's my dead mother. I've got to take it. What's your excuse for not donating? My mum's alive. She just risen from the grave. And I walked past and kind of gave it a bit of a wide berth. And she goes, hey, you look really friendly. Wrong.

To me. And I'm like, oh, my God, I am. Fake news. And so I don't want to say like, yes. And I just went, I'm on my phone like this. I'm, like, texting. And I was like, thanks, and kept walking. Who do you think you are?

Thank you. Yeah, I know. I am. You kept walking. I'm actually a 10 out of 10 glamour as well. Yeah, I'm a really great person. Thank you so much for noticing. I kept walking.

I have a great personality. Yeah, I'm a fucking glowing star of a person. And then you put your head down and just kept walking? Yeah, and just kept walking. And then she said something. Like, she obviously, like... Is that Tony Lodge? No, no, no, not like that.

Could you imagine? Like, yeah. If they said are you Tony Lodge, they would have got $10 million. Yeah, I would have been like, type my car. Type the courtyard. Yeah, have my Frank Graham water bottle. yeah yeah my front gray motor bottle hey this is ashley olsen and thanks for listening to this throwback episode of tony and ryan my love is see it is this podcast it always puts a smile on my face and always lifts my mood

and you can't forget about the amazing tarp community that's involved you fucking love to see it. Tony and Ryan are back January 3rd. Thanks for listening.