Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: On a Zoom Meeting and in the Bedroom

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Rounding out the week is Ally D(r)uckett! She's throwing back to things you can say on a Zoom Meeting and also in the bedroom, plus when you need to disclose your job on a date. Ryan and I are back Monday! Love ya xx Toni Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, this is Ali Duckett and welcome to a throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. Coming up today, we've all found out just how stubborn Tony and Ryan can be, but you're about to find out how stubborn Ryan is in the supermarket. And when you should tell someone you're dating what your job is, like, hey, by the way, my stage name is Magic Mike and I'm a stripper. Or yo, I'm going to be picking you up in my work vehicle later only to find out it's a trash truck and he's still in a stinky uniform. But first, things you can say in a Zoom meet and also in the bedroom. Hey, Ryan. Yeah?

Will your wife, Bridget, be joining us later? Or is this a solo session? So things you can say in the bedroom and also on a work Zoom call. Yeah. I don't know how I've gone with this, to be honest. Okay. You've taken some from the group, though, haven't you? You're not using all of

your own independent... I've been inspired by the group. Inspired, okay. Is that like things losers say? I've been inspired by this. I actually copied all their work. Do you remember doing a test at school and putting, like, your clipboard up so that the next person over couldn't see the shit?

No. What? It sounds familiar, but I just, I don't know if I would have cared enough. No, like, teachers would be like, put your clipboards up so that you can't, like, yeah, that would have been for us. I don't think our teachers cared enough. Bloody Eltham, that's what they do. Oh, someone from Eltham messaged me about something.

Oh, mate, we get it. You're a hometown celebrity. Actually, that's coming up tomorrow in Tony versus the world. No. We go all around the world including Eltham. Oh, okay. I thought you meant my hometown.

Of? Rollystone? Sheldolt? 6111? Things you can say in a Zoom meeting and also in the bedroom because we know that all of workplaces, all meetings are pretty much happening on Zoom. People working from home here in Melbourne, we're still in lockdown. So it's a little too normal. We're getting over it.

Now, Toni, you're not overly confident, is that fair to say? No, I'm not. And it was really hard to think of things that you would say like in a work meeting and also in the bedroom. I'm just going to see how it goes. Okay. I'm interested to see what you've come up with because I feel like there might be a bit of crossover, especially because you copied everybody else's answers.

I didn't copy everyone else's answers. I was inspired by the group. Okay. I love the Tarpers and the T I was inspired by the group. Okay. I love the Tarpers and the Tarpers love you. Me? Yeah. They love you. I'm just a buddy to your bread, Vice Captain.

My name's Second. Captain, please take us away. Should I plug this in? We're just going to take a little 10- minute break and then jump straight back into where we left off. Oh, that is so good. Thank you. Yeah. You're going to struggle here. Sound like my PE teacher. Hang on. We've got a bad connection. Oh yeah. That's good. Yeah. Like sexual connection, but also like the wi-fi or whatever sorry my device has just run out of juice oh the batteries are flat there's nothing worse

it's nothing is there a limit to how many people can fit in here oh hang on let me open this up. The words open this up, it just... Oh, yeah. Tony, there's a lot of noise coming out of your end. Can I put you on mute for a second? Do you mind if I eat while we're on? Do you mind if I eat while we're on? Oh, I think someone else is trying to join.

I was in the waiting room for ages. Imagine just being a local player and just having a waiting room for the... All the people just sit in the waiting room, just wait. Who's next? You got... Come on, you got an appointment? Do you have the password? Not working, huh? Have you considered pulling it out and putting it back in again?

Oh, sorry, my boyfriend's in the other room. How awkward is it when you're having sex and your husband walks past? I mean, like, oh, God, them again. Mate, I'm on the thing. Will this interaction lead to a promotion? Oh, I wish it was that easy. Oh, I've read up on this. I've done my background briefing.

Everybody right to go? Sorry, I'm early. If I had a dollar for every time I said that. This can only last 45 minutes unless someone pays for it to go. This can only last 45 minutes unless someone pays for it to go longer. Did you want to take this one, Sally? She'll take it. Will she ever?

You've met Sally, she would. I'm just waiting for a few more people to hop on and then I'll get started. Hop on? How many people can hop on? How long is a centipede? Human centipede. Like lots of... I've never seen that movie. Neither have I.

It looks terrifying. I can't do it. No. Let's just go around the room and introduce ourselves before I dive in. If you were having an orgy, do you think that that is like... It's being polite. Yeah. I think before you start doing it, you have a few drinks

and you introduce, you know, you just hang out for a bit first. You're thinking about a swingers event, I think. How embarrassing for me. What are you talking about? No, do you think that at an orgy, if like eight people got together, I don't know... But is that not the same as a swingers party? No.

What's the difference? Well, a swingers party is like you have a few drinks and whatever, you put your keys in the bowl or you're watching the bowl or whatever and all the couples split off. Yeah. But at an orgy, I think it's just that you're all sitting around, you all go in. But do you think that there's etiquette of an orgy where you...

I think it's the same set-up. I think you arrive and have a few drinks and say g'day and then just everyone starts limbering up and getting amongst it. I can't think of anything worse. One person's enough work. Do you know what I mean? Tell me about it. What does that even mean?

I don't know. But, like, how? I just couldn't. It's not a kink shame. I literally just don't understand how you could take more than one on. Is it because there's just too much to think about and consider? Too much to think about. Well, maybe the point is that there's so much going on,

you can't think about anything. Oh. Someone's changed their tune, literally. Yeah, maybe. But it's like you're assaulting your senses, so you can't actually like second guess anything. If you've been to an orgy, comment on today's episode thread in the Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast.

Just say, I have. That's all you need to say? I have, yep. I'll follow up with a DM. Yep, yep. DM or DP. Double penetration. No, no, we got it.

We got it. Hey, this is Ali Duckett and you're listening to a throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. Yeah. Hey, this is Ali Duckett and you're listening to a throwback episode of Tony and Ryan. Question. How long have you and your partner Torbs been together? Seven? Seven, eight years.

Did you guys? Anniversary next week, actually. Really? Yeah. The 19th of September. Yeah, seven, eight years. Yeah. Did you guys anniversary next week? Actually. Really? Yeah. The 19th of September. Yeah. Oh, how lovely.

Cheers. Did you guys start like dating? Cause I feel like our generation isn't like a, I'll pick you up at eight to go on a date kind of vibe. How did you start? Um, we went to uni together. Yeah.

And we were friends because we were working together on shows and stuff at WAPA and we started sleeping together. Yeah. And we slept together for about a year before we started going out. Right. And I asked Torbs out. As in like make this official. Yeah.

So this is actually the perfect example of what I'm talking about. Oh, great. Because I don't believe our generation dates you kind of just like hook up with a friend of a friend yeah you hang out and then after a while you're like are we doing this there's no like courting process of let's go for dinner and a movie and then oh maybe we'll just you could come back to my place or whatever i see you at a cafe and i go oh gee she's beautiful i'm gonna ask tony i'm gonna, what's your number? And then I'll, like, call you later and ask you out for dinner.

Do you know that that's how Andy Lee and his girlfriend Beck met? He was at a cafe and she worked there and he, like, chatted her up. Really? Yeah. What a guy. I wouldn't have the gall to do that. Not like you'd fucking say no. Absolutely not.

If Andy Lee came over to you and said like, hey, honey bear, you want to come around to my place, you'd be like, yeah. Andy Lee randomly came up in conversation while Tony and I were having lunch earlier and you threatened me and Andy saying, you better make sure Andy listens to this podcast. No. You did. No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. No, because. Andy, can you just reach out to us and just give us a nod and go, I'm listening. Oh, I mean, he's going to confirm any minute now. But we were talking about a common. Friend. Friend and that you knew them and that they were talking to Andy

and I said, oh, my God, I hope he said to listen to the podcast because they were talking about podcasting. It wasn't that I was like. Have you got a thing for Andy Lee? Oh, who doesn't? Yeah, oh, my God, I hope he said to listen to the podcast because they were talking about podcasting. It wasn't that I was like, no, I didn't. Have you got a thing for Andy Lee? Oh, who doesn't? Yeah, no, good call. Yeah. You're right.

Yeah. I'm not an idiot. Well. Well, I mean. That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. But I think, so Bridget and I met, she lived with someone I worked with. Yeah. And I genuinely think the notion of dating,

I actually don't have experience with that in my life, which is why I'm struggling to relate to Marcella. Do you think it's because, sorry, just before you get into Marcella. No, no, I'm just telling a story. She's not actually dating me. I won't be getting into her, nor will the person she's dating, it turns out, but I won't be in that. What was that sound?

Is that not what it sounds like? I won't be. You won't be. I can only do that water drop thing. You just let me know when you're good. Sorry, I can't get it. Okay. So before we get to...

Do you think that we don't understand the dating thing because both of us missed Tinder? I didn't quite miss it. I got a bit of Tinder. Oh, did you? But again, Tinder's like you kind of skip that whole courting thing because you're just on an app. Oh, and then you're fucking.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Marcella was freaked out by something that happened on a date. Now, she feels guilty about it because the guy didn't really do anything wrong. So she's not sure if she's entitled to feel grossed out, but she feels grossed out. Is this an am I the arsehole? Have you seen that thread like on Reddit?

I love that. It's not quite because she's moved on from this guy. Okay. But I'm curious to know. All right. And I'm going to put it out there. It's one of those things where if we're all the truest, most perfect people we claim to be, there's a correct answer.

But actually, you know what I mean? So the guy sends her a text and says, I'm going to pick you up at whatever time I'm going to take you out for dinner. Great. Looking forward to it. That's quite nice, isn't it? That afternoon, he texts and says, oh, is it okay if I pick you up in the work car? I actually then have to drop something off at the office on the way to dinner. Like, it'll take an extra few minutes. Is that fine? As long as he's not like a funeral director. Fuck off.

Fuck off. He's picked her up in a hearse. Are you kidding me? What are the odds of me saying that to you? As soon as I asked, I was like, she's got to guess it. You are joking me. He's rocked up in a hearse and the thing that he had to drop off is just a coffin?

Not just a coffin, no. Two coffins. No. Oh, my God, the coffin's got her Auntie Norma in it. Norma's fine, but there is what was a person in a coffin in the back of the car and she sees the car pull into the driveway. You know, it's like that stretched kind of sedan. It's like a limo, but it's not a limo, obviously.

Not as many people fit in it. Yeah. And he's like, oh, hey, you know, we just need to drop off work. So he was going to drive the car to work and then pick up his actual car and they'll continue on their way. She's. I'm really bothered, yeah. She said he didn't do anything wrong.

Like, that's his job. It's a very important job. It is. It's an important part of ending someone's story. She's like, I respect it. But I just, without knowing that was coming, she said, I couldn't look him in the eye. The whole night, I just couldn't look him in the eye.

And it was awkward. And he kind of knew and she knew. And then he dropped her off later and she just, like, thanked him for the evening and they just never spoke again. Yeah. And, again, she said, I know he hasn't done anything wrong and it probably says more about me than it does about him, but that's just how i felt

it's sort of you know like that she's like as soon as it happened i was like i just can't like yeah you just can't shake that yeah but is she in the wrong here's the my question and let's just all assume which it is he's obviously entitled to do that job. It's a very important part. Yeah, the job isn't the problem. So here's my question. Is she in the wrong for being a bit judgy about it and not accepting it? Or is that something he most definitely should have flagged

before he pulled up in the driveway in the car with something in the back of the car? Yeah. Because saying, oh, I've just got to drop something off at work, that could be a set of keys. A laptop. Your water bottle that you normally leave on your desk. You know, that's not rocking up in the Rees's plumbing van.

That's rocking up in a hearse. Like the problem is not the job that he does. I probably just would have flagged that and been like, hey, or just done it beforehand. Go to the funeral. Drop the, yeah. Do you know the other thing that is bothering me a bit? What about poor Aunty Norma in the hearse?

I don't really like the thought that if that was my Aunty Norma, that she's gone on a joyride so that this dude can get it on with Marcella. I don't think he would have described it as a joyride, nor would have Norma. But do you know what I mean? Where is my dead relative? Oh, they're actually on a hot date at the moment. I find that a little bit disrespectful to, like, the body in the car.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That kind of bothers me. So you're with Marcella? Yeah. He's in the car. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That kind of bothers me. So you're with Marcella? Yeah. He's in the wrong. I don't think that he's necessarily in the wrong, but I don't think that that is a very good thing to do if that's your job

because think about, like you just said, it's such a big part about ending your story and, you know, their family would have been trusting this company, this business with the body. And he's like, oh, I've just got to whip around to Coles, then I'll grab Marcella, then I'll drop the car off just because it's easier, save on fuel. Like, you've probably got a fuel card, mate.

Works paying for the fuel, mate. I don't know where he picked up the deliverable or... I don't think... No, that's weird. I'm sorry. I don't know if I'm in the right or the wrong in what I think, but I think that is freaking weird. I don't know about that.

Marcella, I think we're with you. I'm with, yeah. I think you don't need to feel guilty. No. Because she's like, am I an awful person? I don't think you're an awful person. I get why you might even be asking the question, but I think most people will be like, you know what, mate?

It's a bit weird for us too. Do you know the other thing is that being a funeral director or a mortician or anything like that, it's not a weird job, but it is different. That's going to catch people off guard. I think that if you know... That's a chat. Yeah.

I think that if you know that you've got a job that maybe you should flag. The same way, you know, if you're talking on the air all the time or you and I are doing this podcast, you kind of need to tell people in your life that you're going to use their stories as content, right? Do you find that you ask people in your life, like if someone tells you a great story or something happens, you're like, can I talk about this? That's the story that I was going to tell today,

but now I've got to tell the COVID story. Yeah. I texted him and I was like, can I tell that story? I was like, what? Use your name. Yeah. Yeah. You have to.

What other jobs besides funeral director or podcast host do you have to flag? Hitman. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather know that. You'd rather know. How's work today? Oh Hitman. Yeah. Yeah, you're killing people. I'd rather know that. You'd rather know. How's work today? Oh, busy.

Yeah. Three. A priest because you've probably got quite strong values. But also, would a priest be dating? That's a great point, yeah. I'm trying to think about other jobs. I guess. I know what you mean when you say with podcasting,

if you're going to use a story that includes someone, you would ask their permission. But for some reason, in the context of this conversation, it's like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I actually just need to let you know that I host a podcast. I am a white, middle-aged, middle-class person. So clearly I have a podcast. So just to let you know. Yeah. I just wanted to flag with you. Because I don't want that to like sneak up on you. Yeah. Our podcast gets six listens a day. So I just wanted

to let you know. If you're in the car and you look in the back, I'm a podcast host. So that's what that is. Oh, if I rock up in the work car, there's a microphone in there. Yeah. Yeah. What other jobs would you have to flag with? I don't know. I feel like. What about like if you're a medical person and you're like on call?

See, that's the next one I was going to say. If you're a shift worker. But that doesn't need flagging, but it's probably a consideration when you're dating someone. When I lived, I lived in the US. Yeah. I went to college. We know, mate. When I lived, I lived in the US. Yeah. I went to college. We know, mate.

In St. Louis. Studied economics. Boring. Boring. You don't have to flag that with anyone because no one wants to chat to you. Just to let you know, I just wanted to flag in advance. I'm actually real boring. So just wanted to make that real clear.

So maybe don't call me back. Yeah. So I think I had a microeconomics, some economics class, and the lecturer had a PhD in economics. Oh, yeah, PhD. And he'd written his whole thesis on, like, the car industry's evolution of what, like, just some really boring thing.

But his title was Doctor, and he said he was on a flight and it was, like, out of a movie. Oh, my God god he's choking she can't break whatever happens is there a doctor and they literally you know they go through the list and go yep uh doctor and he's like oh i can't i'm not a medical doctor well he's just like i can't and but they're like hey it's no time to be modest, sir. She's choking. And he's like, I've written a thesis on the car industry, sir. I'm not a doctor. She's not breathing.

Yeah. You're like, well, I can't get my calculator out and tell her to take this many breaths per second. Like, I can't fix that. And he said it was a really awkward conversation. Oh, yeah. You'd feel awful. And you'd feel like you had catfished the people around you by being like, yes, I'm Dr. Oh yeah. You'd feel awful. And you'd feel like you had like catfished the people around you by being like, yes, I'm Dr. Morton. But actually. Dr. Morton, you just know

a lot about the car industry. So maybe just a mister is enough for you. Yeah. I got offered to do a PhD at Swinburne. Did you? Yeah. So when I finished my undergrad, I wrote it, I did an extra year for honours and wrote a thesis and stuff. Yeah. Exegesis, is it when you do honours? A bit shorter? A bit shorter than a full thesis, is it, when you do your honours one? Oh, no, it's just the thesis. Oh, okay, because there's, like, different levels. Yeah, so when I finished that, they're like, if you want to continue your work, because what I did ended up being okay.

What was... Oh, don't ask, it's so boring. Oh, no, because I want to know. It was about accounting and intellectual capital and how you count for intellectual capital, like account for it. So anyway, they said, you've made a really great start and contribution. If you would like to keep going, you can do a three more years and you would have a PhD and be a doctor. And doing the thesis was it like, it was a lot. And I was like, you know what, I actually, I don't want to do it. I'm glad I've done what I've done, but I don't want to keep it

like it's hard. And that's like, you're kind of all in'm glad I've done what I've done, but I don't want to keep it. It's hard. It's a big commitment, yeah. And that's like you're kind of all in at that stage. And then I was like, but I'd be a doctor. One of my life dreams is to become a doctor, not a medical doctor because that would freak me out. Yeah, absolutely not. Like a doctor of something. But I was going to, I considered, like not for long,

but three years of my life of dense study in intellectual capital disclosure. For the clown. Purely so I could go out on the weekend and be like, what's up, ladies? Doctor. Dr Ryan John. Yeah.

Oh, you're a doctor. Oh, that girl's choking. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what she's choking on. Sorry. Sorry. That came out before I could even think about what I was saying.

So, Tony, I want you to think, and also you listening now, about who's the most stubborn person in your life. Is it your partner? Is it a parent? Is it a sibling? Is it someone you work with or your boss? But I feel like most people in their life have that one person that you're like, so stubborn.

Yeah, and you just like can't talk them around to anything. No, no. And all that's the definition of the stubbornness, that nothing you can say or do. Is going to affect what they think. Yeah. And so for my wife, Bridget, that person is me. Are you quite stubborn?

Well, not normally, but there's a few things that I've like dug my, like specific examples where I've dug my heels in and then realised I was very wrong about it and refused to. And it's too late. Yeah. You can't back out of that car park once you've said that you're going into the car park. Yeah.

So actually it was last week when we were recording, Bridget said on the way home, can you go to, so where we record in Richmond, there's this on Swan Street, like a bougie little independent supermarket. You know those, what, like a deli that's got like the specific good stuff? Yeah, you've got to take out a line to walk in. Yep. They are a bit spendy, so usually the main shop will be at Coles or Woolies,

but if there's like a couple of specific ingredients, she'll be like, oh, can you just get that nice stuff and we'll have a bit of a treat on Saturday night. Like what kind of thing? Well, here's the issue. Oh. She told me before we recorded and she said, Ryan, should you write this down?

Yes, you should. You, you, Ryan John Dunn, yes, you should write it down. Do I have to write it down, Tony Louise Lodge? No. Ryan, yes. Oh, I'm not going to ask what side Tony's on because it down. Do I have to write it down, Tony Louise Lodge? No. Brian? Yes. Oh, I'm not going to ask what side Tony's on because it seems... No, because I just know where this is going. And I, of course, am on your wife's side. Bridget said,

maybe I'll text you so then it's in your phone. I said, hey, it's actually fine. You said, dull, don't underestimate me. I got it. I know what I'm getting. All over it. I know what special sausage you want me to bring home. And how. Oh God. So we finished recording last week. I go down to the bougie supermarket. I have no idea what I have to get. No idea at all. Now, would I call Bridget and say, can you remind me? Or have I already picked the hill I will die on and go, wow, I made such a big deal this morning about the fact I wouldn't forget, I can't possibly go back, you know, tail between my legs and ask her.

So I thought this is what I'll do. I'll walk up and down every aisle of this supermarket and look at every shelf and I'll probably see it and then that'll remind me. Oh, like hope it jogs your memory. Terrible idea. I would rather walk up and down and look and I'm hoping like I'll see the jar of sauce and go, oh, it was a jar of sauce. Yeah.

So do you know what I'm talking about, by the way? I don't. No, I haven't been there. I can't afford it, mate. Do you know the one I'm talking about, by the way? I don't. No, I haven't been there. I can't afford it, mate.

So the guy that works there, he's so great. But in this account. You know the guy that owns the special grocer. No, like if you had the service that he provided, you would be aware of it because he's very forward and very, like I don't want to say overly helpful because that sounds mean, but he is very committed. Attentive. Yep.

Yep. All over it. As soon as you walk in, mate, what can we get you? How can I help or show you where it is? You're like, well, I don't know. So, well, here's the thing, and I didn't want to admit that to him because I feel like an idiot. So he's watching me go down every aisle and look at literally

every product in the shop. I eyeballed every product and went, no, nope. He probably thought you were on drugs. So he comes up to me and goes, oh, you're obviously looking for something specific. How can I help? And I went, I am looking for something specific. And he goes, oh, what is it? And I said, I don't know. And then he says, what do you mean? And I said, well, my wife told me exactly what she wanted and I can't remember what it was. And he goes, oh, did you write it down?

Called out by the guy from the grocery store. And I went, no, I didn't. And he goes, oh, maybe she should text you and then it's in your phone. And I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I was sort of a bit like if I wanted to get lectured about writing stuff down, I would have just stayed home. Or I would have just called her out the front when I was parallel parking on Swan Street

and asked her what I needed. You know what you should have done? You should have gotten the guy that owns the grocer to call your wife and say, oh, we're just doing some field research and we want to know what... If you happen to need something from the store, what do you reckon it would have been? Gun to your head, you need something from the supermarket,

what would that be? What do you feel like tonight? And then maybe you would have had the answer. So I get home. Did you buy anything? I did. Oh, and what did you do? Did you say, you know what, I saw this and thought it was more perfect

than what you wanted? No. That would have been better than whatever you'd done. Nothing I did on this day would be considered better than anything. No good options were taken. I bought a packet of salt and vinegar chips and then ate half of them in the car trip on the way home and then walked in and Bridget goes, did you get the adobo sauce?

Is that how you say it? I don't even know what you're saying. Neither do I. Adobo? Adobo. Adobro. Well, obviously we all know the answer to that. I hadn't.

And I said, oh, no, I, um, I, no, I didn't. But I got these salt and vinegar chips. Would you like some? And she said, well, you've already eaten half of them. Why didn't you just say they didn't have it? Nothing I did on that day was smart. Why didn't you just say, oh my God. So I'm talking to the guy from the grocer and they've sold out of the Adobro sauce.

You know what she said? What? And I could smell that something was cooking. She's like, I've already got it. I knew you wouldn't get it. That's not good. So last Saturday night we had a delicious curry with Adobro. Again, I knew you wouldn't get it. That's not good. So last Saturday night, we had a delicious curry with adobo. Again, I don't know what it's called. I don't know why adobo or adobo sauce is in my mind, but whatever she wanted, she just knew so confident that I wouldn't get it. Just

went and got it herself while we were doing the podcast. We ate the curry. It was delicious. And that's. Well, I'm glad that someone's in charge over there, to be honest. I'm glad that someone's in charge over there to be honest thanks for listening to this throwback episode of Tony and Ryan I love to see the community that the Tony and Ryan podcast and Facebook group have created I've met some lifelong friends via this podcast and for the past few months I've really grown to get to know and love a few of these guys so here's a big shout out to the hayley noodle monique derosha on the treadmill the song hero jared mcquake caitlyn gordon air the smash smudgers and george windmill you guys have made me really realize that this unbearable time during the pandemic of being countries away from my family is doable.

And so is the Tony and Ryan podcast. Thanks so much. Tony and Ryan will be back on Monday. Thanks for listening.