Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Parking Hacks

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

With Toni off sick - we're throwing back to some parking hacks. Producer Cam xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to a throwback episode of the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Producer Cam, taking the reins here for the next couple of days whilst our beloved Tony gets better from her 753rd case of COVID. Just a reminder, the Auckland meetup that was scheduled for tomorrow, Saturday the 2nd, has been postponed. So keep your eyes and ears peeled. Tony and Ryan will be happy to make another date to see you guys very, very shortly. But yesterday we heard Tony falling in and having to be rescued out of a phone pit.

So today we have your throwback stories of falling in and not being able to get out of something. Sounds great. Some good gear in there for sure. But to start us off, a secret parking hack that lets you get away with anything. Trying to park in a busy shopping centre car park. It's not a fun thought, is it? As you know, I've talked about this on the podcast before.

Parking makes me so anxious. The thought of parking. And I Uber so so anxious. Like the thought of parking. And I Uber so many places. Just to avoid the park. To avoid thinking about like if I have to parallel park when I get there or whether there'll be parking or whether there'll be an unexpected walk. Now, I thought this was like a cute little thing that you like talked about sometimes. No.

But when we were looking for a new home new studio there were conversations around that place doesn't have a room to record or a microphone and tony's like but it's parking's good i reckon that's the one versus uh this place uh which doesn't have the best parking just park in the street and it's like four hours so like you got to be careful two hours yeah okay see but it's a great setup and you're like, we can't work there, car parks. It's on the same street as Tony's house, by the way. It is.

Yes, it is. It's a long street, but it's still the same street. Yeah, thank you. That's like saying like, oh, bloody Melbourne and Sydney are on the same street because there's a highway that connects them. It's not like that at all. It's not like that. No, but it's more like that than saying like, it's on the corner of my street.

It's a walk or a quick scooter ride. Well, actually, okay, can I please defend myself? You may. Actually, now I just use my scooter every day, so it's fine. And even this morning it was raining and I still scooted and it was totally fine. I respect that, yeah. But one of the places, do you remember, that we looked at and it was like pretty good set up and I said, you have to ask them if there's parking.

And they said there are three spots and on the day that Tony comes in, she can have one. I arranged that for you. I said, oh, usually it's the general manager, the head of studio and someone else. But if that's what Tony needs, then Tony will get the car park and the general manager can catch the train on those days. And arranged that for you and then we went no we'll go this it's okay they're not listening yeah they're they're fine um we hope so thank you so much

when you park in a car park yeah or a petrol station do you mean like at um like a supermarket yeah supermarket petrol station just this sometimes there's at like a supermarket? Yeah. Supermarket, petrol station. Just sometimes there's a lot of like one way, no exit here. You have to come in this way and go out that way. And it's a little, and sometimes the smaller car parks, it's like you can only go one way. So to get the car park over there, you have to like go around or whatever. And by the time you've gone around, you've missed it.

Someone else will get it. Yeah. Crazy, crazy. And by the time you've gone around, you've missed it. Someone else will get it. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, crazy, crazy. So, Tony Lodge has this thing that she does. And I'd like to know if anyone else does it.

Because when I saw it firsthand, I was a little bit gobsmacked. And then, I think you may recall a week later, I went, oh, I thought you were like having a lull. And joking when you did that. And you're like, nah. I literally do it so when you maybe maybe have to like maybe go down the wrong way to snag a park or you're coming in the service station from the wrong entry or whatever or it says no right turn but there's no traffic yeah you just need to sneak through or whatever what do you do I'll be like at the wheel of my car. Yep.

And I'll go, oh, oh, oh, and I'll kind of like wave my hands around a bit and be like as if as I've driven through the no entry or whatever. Yeah. You've only then just realised. So you know that you're doing the wrong thing. But I mean wrong into, you know, on the scale of wrong. That's not, yeah. How bad is it? Yeah, I mean I'm not going to into you know on the scale of wrong that's not yeah how bad is it yeah i mean i'm not gonna call you on that thanks yeah i've been in the car and i'm like yeah just take it fucking all good yeah anyway so yeah i'll kind of go oh oh my god i'll like put my hands on my head and be like oh oh like genuine shock like on the front of home alone like so even though you

know you're doing the wrong thing you're pretending that you've just found out. Yeah, and because I drive, like, just a little car, I'm like, oh, people would see me and go, like, just an accident. Would they? I hope so. And so then I just go, oh, my God. So then if anyone looks at me, they go, fuck, she didn't realise you can't drive in there.

Little do they know, they fall right into my truck and then I get to turn right or park in the spot or whatever and it's just a little bit mischievous. So what are you trying to avoid by doing this? Is it like kind of getting yelled at? Yeah, like maybe a bit of confrontation if someone like beeped at me. If someone beeped at you, what would that do to you? It would depend.

If I hadn't done anything, I'd go, what the fuck? I didn't fucking do anything. Yeah. You know how you do that in the car? I don't, but I've seen you. You are a zero to 100. And you know that the people behind you have seen you put your arms up. Okay, yeah.

You know, like, because it's a mime. Basically, for me, driving a car is like a huge pantomime. And you have to act for the other people around you so that they know whether something has bothered you or not. I need to let them know that I'm not happy with them pulling out. Yes. And how do I do that? I throw my arms around. I need to let them know, even though it's not true yeah that i didn't

know this is a one-way street in the car yeah so because i don't want them to go through the rest of their day and go she didn't know or she knew and didn't give a fuck i don't want people to think that i'm that but even though that's even that's too wrong i want people to go she didn't know okay cut me some slack i've got a question for, and I don't know if this is going to derail you and your whole scam. And it is a scam. It's not a scam. It's not a scam.

You are. It's not a scam. I'm not a fucking, I'm not fucking like Isagenix or something. Okay. Like, you know, I'm not a, what's the thing? Pyramid scheme. You are selling something that's not true. You're selling a I didn't know, and they're buying. Anyway, that's not true you're selling i didn't know and they're buying

anyway that's the side note you know how i've talked about the hierarchy of communication yeah this isn't what i'm going to call the hierarchy of anxiety oh and the hierarchy of judgment oh because what you think is you don't want them to judge you for doing the wrong thing so you just give them a little performance yeah because i want them to judge you for doing the wrong thing, so you just give them a little performance. Yeah, because I want them to think, oh, she just didn't know. Yeah. Would you? Okay. What do you think they think when they see that performance?

I reckon they go, oh, she didn't know. Poor love. Oh, sweetheart. I don't need pity. I just want people to go, oh, she hasn't, like, knowingly done the wrong thing. She's just, like, accidentally done the wrong thing. She's just like accidentally done the wrong thing. So when I see you do the hands thing, you're not half arsonate.

You're really going for it. Oh, I'll hand it up. The hands are flowing around. It's like an Italian non-Italian story. And the face is going as well. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. Hierarchy of anxiety.

Would you rather two people per week look at you and think, what the fuck's wrong with her? Because the arms are flailing around. Yep. And because every time you're in a cup, you go only if i'm doing the wrong thing so about twice a week so would you rather twice a week that happen or would you rather once a year someone toots and gives you a strange look because i reckon that's the odds of someone giving a shit probably the twice a week one you'd prefer that yeah then once a year someone going

oh you're right and you go oh sorry yeah because can you imagine how long i would talk about and think about that that whole year so how long would you hold that for the whole year till the next one happens really whereas the twice a week thing it's just me look like a goof oh she's so silly she'd rather look like a goof a hundred times than get one toot. Yeah, because I look like a goof kind of anyway. Like, I feel like the barrier to entry for me looking like a goof is so low that I feel like if I'm already in that space, maybe it's fine. If we're already here.

Like, fucking add the extra hundred on. We're already at two million. Yeah, keep going, bud. I would love people to let us know in the episode thread on Facebook. I think people would do that. What they think of Tony's idea that she's, and like I said, I saw it once and I thought it was a lol and then I saw you do it a few times. I was like, oh, no, this is real.

Yeah. And I actually pretty sure that I gave you good advice and said, just do that. I'm not against it. It's a good idea. I think maybe just because I'm an arsehole. Someone goes, mate, you got down the wrong way and I'm like, yeah sorry. Or just go, yep. No, but

see, I wouldn't do that. I would panic that they were going to call the police. No one's going to call the police on me going I didn't know. They're also not going to call the police. Officer, this guy like drove down the thing to bug me. We don't know who we're dealing with. Will the police laugh at you for that? I don't know.

They'll probably not answer. No. Hey, a guy drove weird. Cool. Okay. Thank you so much. This is a kebab shop. Can I get some food?

I want people to let us know if they like this. Because people might not have ever heard of this idea and go, actually, now that Tony's explained this. i think that i think i'm all about it a life hack a life a life hack as she tries to look clever by punching the microphone so that people saw that i tell you what you could have also done oh and this might also rock you oh my god is this like a hack off no people get to decide whether they like ryan's or Tony's hack? No, no, no. No, I like this hack. Oh, okay.

And I love that you're sharing it and people are going, hey, now there's something new to my repertoire. Yeah. However, when you're driving through a car park and you see some asshole driving the wrong way and they give a bit of, oh, now we all know that they might be full of shit. They might be a fan though. They might be a fan, though. They might be a fan of the podcast.

I mean, do you take that? Or they go, oh, that guy isn't making a mistake. He's pulling a Tony Lodge. He knows what he's doing. Oh, so now we can't trust anyone. No. And also, someone is going to actually freak out one day and someone's going, nah. Nah, don't buy it.

You're a tarpa, mate. You know what you're doing. Reverse out of that spot, dickhead. It's mine. See you later. You're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Adults in foam pits. Need we say more?

Foam pits are fun places for children and they look like fun places for adults, but as we all learned, it's also a place of humiliation, shame, embarrassment. Yeah, tears, sweat. So for anybody that missed it, I was at Bounce, like one of those trampoline centres. I got pushed off the balance beam thing doing the wrestling and instead of falling onto the foam, I fell down into the foam.

And because I'm quite short, I couldn't, like, get out of the foam pit. There wasn't a ladder. So how did you get out then? My friend Jesse helped me but couldn't. So then, like, six athlete dudes that were there training, they had to all, like, get a hand on a limb and hoik me out of the phone pit. And how do you feel about that? None of us are still in touch, by the way,

because you're wondering if we became mates. We're not. So it was pretty embarrassing. Like I said when I explained this, I don't embarrass that easily, but I was pretty embarrassed of that because I was just like how fucking humbling is that situation. I have been humbled.

But people came to the party. People said, hey, Tony, you are not alone. If it makes you feel any better, I've also had a bad experience. This is what lots of people said about phone pits. And we've decided that we're laughing with, not at. That's our vibe, right? That's our vibe, isn't it? Yes.

That is our vibe. Sophie Wilkinson. Hi, Soph. I've also been stuck in a phone pit and ended up so stressed that I cried and my friend had to get the staff of The Bounce to help me out. And not only that, but when they did pull me out, I was missing a sock. Write that off on tax it's probably still there three years later so you've got to let that go you're not going back in there

i was sad because of the embarrassment but i'm also sad because of the sock sophie no no you gotta leave the sock behind i know when you when you got your go-to your good comfy one and you know. Your good comfy socks. And sometimes I've got like, because I've got like some fun socks because I don't have a personality. Sometimes it's like your favourite. Oh, the one with the little pink thingies on it. Oh, I see.

I can't wear mixed socks. I'm with you so far. Oh, no, I wouldn't do an odd sock. That makes me feel anxious. Tell me if this resonates with your story. Okay. This is from Corey Diane. Hi, Corey.

I wasn't on the phone, but I was more in the story. Okay. This is from Corey Diane. Hi, Corey. I wasn't on the phone, but I was more in the phone. Yes, you get sucked in. It's like quicksand. So instead of crawling or walking across the top of it, it kind of felt like I had to swim through it. Yes, and then all the crumbly foam gets stuck to the sweat, and because you start sweating more because you're stressed about being stuck in the foam, you end up like a fucking

Golden Gay Time. Do they have Golden Gay Times in other countries? I don't think so. When you see a Golden Gay Time and then what you just explained. You're like. Yeah, it makes no sense. So Corey Diane says, it took me so long to, in her words, swim ashore.

I was so stressed I had to alternate from freestyle to backstroke because I was getting tired and sore and so stressed. How big's his fucking foam pit? I mean, I get it though. You've been swimming for a while and you go, oh, no, hang on a second. You know, like when you're doing survival swimming and you do that skunk thing? She's like trying to stay afloat in the foam.

That's fucking hilarious. Freya didn't have any issues climbing out of the side, but like Corey had issues getting to the side. Yep. And the foam was pretty squishy. So you can't get like any leverage. So I could barely get a foothold on anything. Yes.

And then I ended up having to, like, flop myself over. I honestly looked like a fish that was flopping around out of the water. Or, like, when you see a whale jump out and it's like, ooh. Nicole Vaughan. Not a foam pit, So controversial inclusion. Okay. We're out on the boat in a lake and it's a really hot day in summer. So you're rich. Yeah, okay.

Righto, Nicole. Or she's banging someone rich. We get it. We get it. But it was getting so hot in summer to the point where I was like, it was getting a bit overheated and hot, like, you know, hot summer. Yeah. So someone's like, hey, we're in the lake.

Babe, just jump in. She just goes, yeah, of course. No. No. So she jumps off, hey, we're in the lake. Babe, just jump in. She just goes, yeah, of course. No. No. So she jumps off the boat into the lake, cooled off, so refreshing. But when I was done, I couldn't get back into the boat. Yeah. So my husband and his brother grabbed an arm each and tried to pull me back in by my arms.

I was laughing so hard because in the situation, it's one of those. You don't know what to do. If I don't want to cry, I must laugh. Like if you're going to laugh or cry, like pick the best of. Because you're trying to like seem like it's no big deal. Whatever. Yeah, no big deal. I'm really stuck out of this boat. So Nicole's like trying to laugh through it.

She goes, my husband and his brother were not laughing. They were just like, Nicole. Now, I don't know much about Nicole, but from the attitude from the husband and brother, I feel like she's the kind of person that needs, you know, assistance from time to time. Yep. Like she got drunk the night before. I'm like, I carried you home last night.

I held your hair back. And now we're doing this. And now you're going to pull your fucking hair out of the bed. As someone who has fallen out of a canoe, I hear you, Nicole, and I see you because that happened to me in like year 10 phys ed. So at my school we had like a big dam. And you're having a go at Nicole for being rich, being on a boat. Well, I don't fucking own the dam, do I?

Anyway. Your school had a dam where own the dam, do I? Anyway. Your school had a dam where you canoed? Yeah. Yeah. And so we visit. I'm in a bathing suit. Did you have a sea captain employed by the? No.

I'm in a bathing suit, a school uniform bathing suit, so everyone was, like, wearing the same one. Didn't look the same on everyone, though. No. And I'm in year 10, so a hard hard age and they paired us all up with people like according to alphabetical order and i got paired up with like this really hot sporty girl like a really popular girl no uh i fell out of the canoe it capsized i don't have any upper body strength so the girl that i was with Bree, she like tipped the canoe

back over herself and like hoisted herself back in, no worries. And she was like, Tony, you have to get back in. It must have been like a race or like they were timing us or something. She's like, Tony, you have to get in. I was like, I actually can't. You can deal with this. And I know my strengths. And I know my weaknesses.

And this is one of them. This is one of them. Thank you so much. So you didn't try. It was just straight away you went, no, you can deal with this hot girl, Bree. I will just float in the water until the race is over. I threw one leg up and put, no. And then she kept canoeing and I just like waded back to the edge of the dam.

And it was full of like yabbies and turtles and stuff. And I was like, you know what? I'm actually going to take my chances on there being a shark in here than fucking try and throw me chubby leg over a boat. I would rather get eaten by a shark than embarrass myself in front of teenagers. Yeah, at least I'll be on the news. You know what I mean?

Nicole, you're not alone. And hey, anyone that listens to the podcast, you're not alone. We're all friends here. Yeah, and I've probably done something just as bad. If any time you felt you're a piece of shit, don't worry. Tony's more of a piece of shit. Put that as the new tagline for the podcast. Yep, love it, love it.

Let's finish with Rosalind Loxton. Tony's story about bounce just reminded me of the time I was at an inflatable water park with a young child and I fell in. I could not get out of the water. I could not get back up on the floaty thing and just imagine this. For all intents and purposes. Laughing with you. Laughing with you.

I'll say one word that will set the scene of who helped and what kind of people are around yep baywatch oh a bit like mine yeah hot girls everywhere hot girls everywhere ripped dudes who are like lifesaver hot guys like um zach efron was probably there, The Rock, I assume. Did you get an autograph? Yeah, I know, right? Jeez. So the young fit lifeguard, they're like, oh, I think someone's drowning. It's like Bondi Rescue.

Yeah. And they're like, oh, get the flotation dive in after. And they're like, are you drowning? And she's like, no, I just can't get back on the floaty thing. So then they had to get multiple hot boy lifeguards with their, you know, rippling biceps and triceps just bouncing out of their shirts and they obviously ripped the shirt off to dive in after them and pull her up onto the floaty thing.

Like I said, very humbling. Very humbling. I don't know if you've ever tried to get back onto the floaty thing. Like I said, very humbling. Very humbling. I don't know if you've ever tried to get back onto a floaty toy in a pool before or, like, back onto a lilo. It's not good. Well, Rosalind does. Yeah. She said it felt like they were, her words,

they were hauling a whale from the sea. Oh, Rosalind. Oh, my God. Bless you. Bless you. Have you ever been swimming since? Yeah, I know. Like, what's the trauma from that? She moved to Alice Springs, the middle of the Australian desert.

Nearest body of water, a thousand kilometres. She now lives in middle America. There's like nothing around her. Oh my God. Thank you to everyone who shared your stories. I know it's awkward and embarrassing, but you know what? Hey, we're all here. We're all in this together.

We're all in this together. Yep. And if I like anything more, it's that our traumas can meet in the middle. Like you talk about. Thank you all once again for joining me on a Friday for a Tony and Ryan throwback. I'm producer Cam. And for a Friday, I think I have a hilarious, you'll love to see it, to share with you all. On Wednesday, Tony shared how she found and loved that Facebook group, Seedless Watermelons

Against Catholics. So I have another Facebook group that makes me laugh so hard. I'm going to dedicate this to my friend Grace for showing me this. This Facebook group is called... Sorry. This Facebook group is called a group where we all pretend to be ants in an ant colony. It has 1.7 million members, right? Go on. And people post like photos of a strawberry on the ground or like a cup of peanut butter. And then they comment, i have found nourishment for the queen help me transport and then every single comment underneath is just a cascade of

people going like in capital letters lift lift lift lift and then everyone just pretends and like cosplays as an ant for the day it's so funny I go on there all the time if I just need a little brain break. Sometimes you even get a photo of a wasp or a hornet and people post and they're like, hello, I'm ant. Please let me in for the queen. And then everyone underneath is like, sniff, sniff, intruder. Bite, bite, bite.

Head along and join it for yourself. It's on Facebook. I'll repeat it again. It's called A Group Where We All Pretend To Be Ants In An Ant Colony, the one with 1.7 million members. I'll see you in there. I'll help you lift Stuff For The Queen. It's been a great day. I might go on there now and spend some time. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you very shortly. Enjoy your weekend. Hope you have a good one. It's been Producer Cam. Bye for now.