Toni and Ryan - THROWBACK: Return Of The Mash

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

TARPer Emma takes us back to an amazing pod memory... FLYIN' JON. Love ya!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, it's Emma from Rhode Island, and I approve this podcast. Hey, it's Emma here. Today, we're throwing it back to some of the best moments of Tony and Ryan for 2023. The guys are on holiday at the moment, but we'll be back before you know it with some brand new episodes for 2024. Today, we're going to be taking it back to Ryan's fateful fall, which had us all screaming. But first up, remembering Tony's favorite snack, it's the return of the Mashies. Mashies, they're back. There was no woo. There was a woo for Mabel, but there was no woo for Mashies.

So, Mash's at KFC are back. So I guess to rewind, I've gotten about 90,000 DMs. We've got about 2,000 posts pending in our Facebook group. I've gotten messages from friends and family. I've gotten text messages, comments, photo comment, everything about mashies coming back to KFC. Don't know if anyone remembers the mashie. It was like a ball of mashed potato deep fried from KFC.

Fuck. And they are fucking elite. What I will say, I love mashies. Like I fucking love them. Hang on. Can we just stop for a second and appreciate the product itself? Can you? Mashed potato.

It's like a ball of mashed potato. So you know when you get like potato and gravy from KFC. It's just like in a tub. Yeah. So it's, like, the same, like, firmer mashed potato, like, mixture. Yeah. And then they, like, bread it and deep fry it. And when you go, trust me, I actually really like it,

I mean, no fucking shit. Yeah. That sounds unreal. Of course I like it. It's delicious. And, yeah, like, I love mashies so much. Like, I lament that they took them away. I hate that they're like a limited edition food.

A crime against humanity. But I don't know that I've talked about them that much on the pod. Like I actually don't remember. The way our inbox lit on fire, it was as if you'd changed your middle name by depol to mashies. Tony Mashies Lodge. Actually, yeah. Can we change that to your name? if you'd changed your middle name by depot to Mashi's. Tony Mashi's Lodge. Actually, yeah.

Can we change that to your name? And then I got this message, well, one, several of them said it, and it was like, oh, your campaigning on the podcast just worked. I don't even remember you saying it. I don't think I've ever said that. Well, apparently you have. Well, and it is, it actually, maybe people are making this assumption about me because it does make sense and I do like them.

People are like, oh, you know who would love a matchy? Tony and Mashie's Lodge. Mashie's Lodge. Let's let her know. It sounds like a local footy play. Oh, Mashie's in the halfback flank. Good work, Mashie's. Keep it up, love.

Maybe that's what I should do. I should wish, you know how we've talked about joining that football team. Oh, don't. Yeah, but yeah. I could get mashies on my jumper. That'd be sick. Yeah. Did you have like a final year hoodie at high school?

Yeah. Did you have a nickname on it? Just said Tony. Oh. Very creative back then. Didn't have a nickname. I just didn't really have a nickname. Well, you did.

You just didn't know it yet. Mashies. Yeah. I didn't know that this was coming. In about 12 years, I'll be known for this. I'm just getting in early. What was on yours, Dunny? Yeah, Dunny.

Maybe it was just Dun. It's so funny because the other day, like, off-air chat, my osteo, Hot Ramsey, who we talked about before, I went and saw him the other week. Yeah, I bet you did. And he was like, oh, yeah, how is Danny going? And I'm just like, this is a different person to me. Anyway, so everybody in the world is really happy for me.

So am I. I'm very pleased for you. Because the mashies are back. Someone messaged me and goes, oh, hi, Ryan. Are you with the baby at the moment? And I DM him and said, yeah, why? And he goes, I just wanted to let you know to tell Tony about the mashies. Yeah, could you tell Tony about the mashies?

They go, it better be top billing on your first show back. And I'm like, don't you worry, sweetheart. I think actually someone commented on the picture of me with Mabel on my Instagram. I think someone commented on there and said, did you see that the matches are back? Anyway, so. But, yeah, KFC doesn't open till 11.

I took this photo with Mabel at 10am. Oh, look, it's 10.45. I've got to hit the road. I've got an appointment. Yeah, I better go. So have you enjoyed the Mattys? Well, so this is the thing. What thing?

I know. So last week, a week ago today, actually, my boyfriend Torbs, who I love. Through gritted teeth. Who also loves a mashie. Torbs mashies Torbs. Yeah. I just realised that his nickname is his last name.

Dunny Duns. Dunny mashies Dun. Anyway. Dunny Dun's going to do it. Dunny Mash is done. Anyway, my boyfriend, who I love very much, he also- Is Mabel's actually short for Mashies? That's like her full name on her birth certificate. Mabel Mashies Dun.

Mashies, just call her Mabel for short. Yeah, or maybe we'll call her that. Anyway, so my boyfriend also loves a Mashi. He last week had his wisdom teeth out. Oh, poor thing. And he can't eat solid food yet. Are you implying that Mashis are solid? Well, you can't have anything like with bits.

So he could eat the mashed potato fine, but he wouldn't be able to enjoy the mashies experience. Well, I'll come around and I'll eat the batter off the outside. You know when you suck the chocolate off a Malteser? Yeah. And then he can have the mash. Because when you go, he can only have soft foods.

I'm like, what, what, what, mashed potato? In front of the KFC brought out. And so I was like, well, you could eat a mashie, couldn't you? He's like, Tony, no, obviously not. Are you telling me you've been abstaining from mashies? So he said, well, sweetie, you've got to go and get, like they're your favourite food. You've got 20 million messages about them.

You have to go and have some. I was like, nope, I'll wait until we can enjoy mashies together. And I'm really hoping that the limited edition-ness of them isn't, you know, only two weeks because then they'll be gone by the time they can eat again. Because here's the thing though. You can't sleep on a mashie and that's the thing. I've always said that.

You can Google that. You can't sleep on a mashie. But here's the thing, when they bring these things out, like head office goes, cool, we'll keep an eye on the sales figures to see if we're going to like keep them. Well, I'd be what would be keeping them in business. That's what I mean. So it's like not only you waiting is risky, you waiting might force them

into another early retirement. I reckon that marketing's on the phone. They're going, well, where's Tony Mashie's lodge? Where's Mashie's at? Where's she at? She's not playing footy for Wendery, is she? Wendery. They need a half-back flank.

Oh, sorry. I just got a head spin from laughing too hard. I haven't laughed in four weeks. Okay, here's what I reckon happened. What is it now, May? I reckon late January, someone's rolled in. A tarp has rolled into a corporate meeting in KFC and gone, guys, if we're going to bring them back, just bring them back in Richmond

because there's a hot spot. And then that person's going to rock into the office there and they're going to go. Oh, so the hot lead you had was a fucking piece of shit. We've brought mashies back to Richmond and nothing. But see, maybe. Discontinue. Maybe a better idea would be to not have a mashie, right?

Because inevitably they are going to take it away. No. Do I not like. It's better to have lost of love than to have never loved at all. That's wrong but lovely. What's the saying? It's better to have loved and to have lost than to have never loved at all. Did I say that exactly?

You said better to love and live and live and live it a like a. Live it a like a. Well, forgive me that Ricky Martin's also a mashies man. Ricky mashies Martin. Ricky mashies Martin. But maybe I should abstain permanently so that then I don't miss it when it's gone. Okay.

Businesses, especially like KFC, they're always thinking about the bottom line. Oh. Are they, do you reckon? If it's selling, it'll stay. Simple as that. No, see, I don't agree because I reckon there's heaps of limited edition shit that would fly off the fucking shelves.

Maybe, is it the hype? That's what I mean, the hype, but then they go. But then if it sells well, they don't keep it because there's heaps of really good shit that they take away. But are people actually buying the good shit? Yeah. I reckon. I reckon because they go, okay, here we go.

Would the limited edition foods sell well without the hype of being a limited edition food? Do they need that hype and exclusiveness to kind of entice you for a few months to try it? I'd buy mashies every day if they weren't limited edition. Okay. Yeah. So, but like, because I'm trying to think of other things

that I've really liked that they took away. I don't think I've ever had one. The McDonald's McRib Burger. I don't think I've ever had one. The McDonald's McRib Burger. I don't think I've ever had one. Good for you and your cholesterol, but fuck me up. What is it? So it's like a burger.

Thanks. No, but the thing that's weird because you go, oh, but it's a McRib with their like bones in it. But it's like this sort of deboned rib meat and I don't want to know how like pulled apart and put back together it is. But somehow the geniuses at McDonald's have figured out a way to get this like, and it's like, you know, the barbecue saucy kind of rib kind of vibe.

And what kind of bread is it? Is it like a normal bun? In a bun. Yeah, and it's a McRib. And there's not a lot else in there, which I don't hate. Oh, so there's no, like, lettuce and tomato or fucking. Right, okay. Two bits of bread, slap a rib in it, son.

Wrap it in paper, put it in the bag. Do you know what I like from Macca's? Because I am a sucker for a burger with beetroot in it. The Macoz. The Macoz. That's also a limited edition food, right? I know, yeah. Don't they have egg in a Macoz?

I think so. Isn't it beetroot and egg? It would have to be because an Aussie burger has beetroot and egg in it. Yeah, so and the macaws with an O-Z, controversially. Yeah, O-Z, yeah. Do you reckon that's what comes out for a summer, every third summer maybe? I think they bring it out sometimes around the Olympics. Yeah.

You know when they do that? Tap into a caterer to them. Yeah, because people are like, oh, I'm proud of being Aussie. Oh, we'll get the macaws. Fucking put a bit of beetroot neg in that one, sweetheart. Yeah, they're not mashies Oz at KFC. For me to show how proud I am to be an Aussie, I've got to buy the macaws.

Yeah. Yeah, that is fucking great. I know it's not a food, but I do get revved up for Monopoly, which is one of the great scams. McDonald's Monopoly gets me every year. I actually, I didn't know we were going to be talking about this today. Do you know what I, so while you were away having a baby, I kind of did like a big spring clean on the house.

Oh, great. And you know what I literally threw out on the weekend? The tickets. A tiny little Tupperware container filled with Monopoly tickets. You never used them, but you always keep them. From probably three years ago. Never won anything. Keep them every year.

Oh, I might fucking. Yeah, you get the two for the Mayfair, but not the third one. Yeah, there's half a jet ski in that. Yeah. Yeah. What did I just say? I don't know. Do you know what's the biggest ripoff in the fucking world?

What? That Hungry Jacks are now doing Uno. Oh, turn it up. Yeah. I mean, tell me you can't think of an idea without telling me. Like, surely. Like, you can't think of something else. Blow up.

The TV show. Your fucking brain stopped, mate. The TV show. fucking brain Stop mate The TV show Fuck Oh my god I haven't been sleeping I was going to say You're done

Should we cut you a break Here what the fuck So in Australia Oh Blow up There's a TV show In Australia Called Lego Masters Australia

Yep I know And it's been dominating And that's Hamish Blake Hamish Blake Yep But it's Lego. And so that's Channel 9. Yeah.

And Channel 7 will go, well, we need one of those. We'll do one with hot air balloons. Not hot air balloons. Like just regular balloons. Party balloons. With air in them. Yeah, like twisty balloons. Yeah.

And they're like, yeah, it's just like Lego Masters except a bit different. And tell me you don't have a new idea without telling me you have a new one. It got canned after two episodes, by the way. It's already off the air. Is it really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, and all the puns of the TV websites were like, oh.

Deflated. Deflated. Nice. Yeah, it's been fucking so good. All right, we'll put this in the Facebook group, Tony and Ryan on Facebook, but we want to know the best limited edition foods. What's the limited edition food that you wish they would bring back

or that every time they bring it out you stock up maybe? Yep. Because do you remember like when another Hamish and Andy reference, but when they brought out the gravy chip? Yeah. That was fucking delicious. So good. So good.

And also can everyone in the episode thread for today please refer to Tony as Mashies? Yeah. Oh, you have to. Get it, Mashies? We're actually changing the podcast to Mashies and Ryan. Mashies and John. Mashies and John?

Yeah. Just rolls off the tongue. That's not your name. What? Mashies and John. Yeah, it just feels right. So instead of Tony or Ryan, it's going to be called Mashies and John. Yeah.

Oh, it's not going to be good for our CPM. Hey, it's Emma from Rhode Island, and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Remember the lady who, when we were crossing the road last week, she tripped over and fell? She fell over, yeah. Yeah, and not just stumbled. She fucking face-planted. She ate shit.

Yeah. What did you do when you saw that? I ran over and was like, oh, my God. And producer Kem was walking with us as well and he did the same. And it was sort of like offering a hand up because she was an old lady and blah, blah. And, yeah, your first reaction was? Like sprinted over.

There was a few people walking around as well and they all ran over. And obviously you don't want to see someone fall over, but it was kind of like nice to see humanity from yourself and other people. Like everyone around was like very, very helpful. Remember when I fell off my scooter and all those people saw and no one helped me? So rude. Awful. Do you remember on the same day?

No. About an hour earlier that I may have just... I wish I was filming. Producer Cam's just fucking remembering. When I just clipped my toe on the sidewalk and didn't quite... Yeah, it was like an uneven... In the pavement, yeah. Pavement.

I was going to say tile. It's not a tile. Yeah, like uneven pavement and you just, yeah to say tile. It's not a tile. Yeah. Like uneven pavement. And you just, yeah. Snicked it with your shoe. Yeah. So keeping in mind how lovely and careful and empathetic you were for her. Do you remember your exact word that you said to me?

I don't. I think I blacked out. I laughed so hard. I actually really don't remember saying anything. I've got some direct quotes. The first one was just three words, but the first word was dragged out a bit. Would you like me to give a dramatic, actually not even dramatic,

a very accurate... I'd love to hear that. What's the word I'm looking for? A reenactment? A reenactment. Yeah. Please allow me to give a reenactment of your reaction to me tripping a little bit.

All right, but let me do you first. Ugh! And you just, like, flew through there! To which Tony said, on a busy city street. There was a lot of people around. Oh! Shame! True or false?

True or false? I could neither confirm. And then you said, hey, everyone, check out this fully grown man who can't walk. What a f***head. True or false? That doesn't sound like me. The first one,'ll admit to, but the second one that I'll combat that.

I don't think I said that. It was so funny. You just, like, flew through the air. It was insane how far, like, you got all this air. It was like you were doing long jump. Like, you just fucking, I don't know how you did it. Why is it that you're so kind and caring to a stranger, but someone that you supposedly care for and like, not love.

Yeah, I was wondering where you were going with that. Last week when you were having a go at me, you were like, oh, but it's just because I love you, that's all. Yeah. Where was the love that day when I needed it the most? Laying on the ground of the city pavement. Do you remember ages ago? Yes, and I'm still haunted by this whole time.

Do you remember ages ago when we were talking about how when you fall over in public, you just want someone to laugh with so that you can kind of like laugh it off? Yeah. And when people come to your aid, you actually, because you just want to kind of like not start crying. Yeah. Especially if you've actually hurt yourself and you just want someone to go like, oh my God.

And you go, oh my God, that's so embarrassing. want someone to go like oh my god and you go oh my god that's so embarrassing so when you're with friends it's way easier to recover from a fall yeah or a trip or a stumble or whatever because you they're gonna laugh and like you feel better immediately i agree but like this woman who fell in front of us i obviously wasn't gonna i didn't even it's not as if i was like i had to stop laughing i didn't even think of it i was just just like, oh, my God, are you okay? So there was no instant reaction to say, oh, shame. Beep that. Are we beeping the first one?

Yeah, we're going. It took a few beeps to get through that one. I really gave a big back. So is it actually that I wanted you to feel better straight away so I actually did you a favour? Because I aided in the speedy recovery from you falling. I'm a really good friend. Have you started doing yoga?

No. Because that's a big stretch. That's very funny. Thank you. I'm actually a very successful comedian. Did you hear that somewhere? No, i just thought about that okay um i hear you know what i hear you and here is my i actually laughed so hard i bent down like i i crouched on the ground because i could not stand up can i propose something not that at one end of the scale we've got you rushing over and being like are you okay oh ma'am you're all right how you doing which i actually agree sometimes you kind of just like i'm fine just don't make it don't make a big deal yep and she did she limped away and was like at the other end of the scale is how you treated me with one of the loudest C-bombs ever dropped

in the central business district. Yeah. Is there maybe somewhere in the middle where you can kind of go, you silly old, you know, like a bit of a laugh, but are you okay? So normally I would do that. Oh, my God, are you all right? Yeah, so I would have worn that. But I knew you were fine because you're so tough and strong.

Fuck you. And I know that you can come back from anything because you're a beautiful person. I am Seabiscuit. But, no, it's probably not really not only appropriate, it's probably not the most appropriate thing, but it's probably not that kind. thing but it's probably not that kind i'm sorry that i wasn't kind when you fell out of thank you but yep when you fell out of the taxi

in jakarta you didn't even say it yeah you did not help me at all well i was trying to play it cool to not cause a scene no you just weren't there and then you walked around and i'd finally like become like vertical again you're like cool let's go yeah see that i actually a laugh would not have helped in that situation because i was fucking destroyed you were helpful though in the way that i needed you to be at that time okay because you kind of like carried me to the hotel because i couldn't walk yeah um i'm really sorry for not being a good friend. But it was so funny that I almost don't even mean my apology. Almost. It's an empty apology for sure. And I appreciate one of the softer apologies I've ever heard.

And I also, as a person who respects medical comedy and situational lols and just that straight-up honesty of you just enjoying it, I'll accept whatever it is that you just said. I do repeat myself, but you flew through the air. You were launched out of a rocket. You just flew past me. Like, I've never seen a boy get that high before.

Like, I just, there was a boy in the air. You were, like, fucking flying above us. It was like. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, Ryan tripped on the fucking pavement. You were flying, John. Cancel the podcast.

Thanks so much for tuning in. My You Love To See It is after Tony and Ryan's huge trip to America that they're taking time off to relax and do nothing and spend time with friends and family. Tony and Ryan will be back on Monday, January 8th. Have a great day and bye for now. Love you. Bye.