Toni and Ryan - Toenails and Thongs

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

WHAT A COMBO!!!!! Love ya xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, so it's really no secret that we love comfort and we love lounging. And today's episode is sponsored by Cozy, who we love and what we love to be, who make everyday home furnishings easy. Modern, adaptable and worry free Cozy Design Furniture for real life to make your day to day feel a little bit lighter. They also make the assembly super easy before you know it. Literally blink of an eye, stunning, easy before you know it. Literally blink of an eye, stunning comfy couch.

Love it. And the best bit is when you want to refresh your space or if you move house, you can just reconfigure your couch. It adapts to you, your home, your way. It's the people's couch. And I've always said that. You can mix and match, rearrange, add pieces, whatever you want.

It's modern, practical and totally personalizable. So your home actually feels like your home. Plus it's great for those of us who are a little messy. Rude. Now the covers, they are interchangeable. They are washable, which makes cleaning up simple and stress free. You love to see that. Transform your space and visit cosy.ca.

That's C-O-Z-E- cosey.ca the home of possibilities made easy. This episode is brought to you by Audible where you can listen to the new audiobook Sunrise on the Reaping by best-selling author Suzanne Collins. So this is for all the fantasy and hunger games fans because this is about the backstory from Katniss's mentor Haymitch. Um Katniss what a badass. Badass. Katniss, what a badass. Badass. Honestly. We watch those movies so often at home. I feel like they are such a high rotation,

like Good Watch. Absolutely. And this time it's the 50th Hunger Games and there are double the tributes that have to compete, which means it's pretty full on. Yeah, twice as big. Haymitch is torn from his home and the girl he loves and has to enter the deadly arena

with little hope of survival but a deep urge to fight that could change everything. Packed with fantasy, fierce challenges and shocking twists. Yeah, fantasy is massive right now and this sounds huge. So if you love the ballad of the songbirds and snakes, then get ready for the follow-up in the series, Sunrise on the Reaping. Discover the joys of listening by downloading Audible and taking it with you anywhere. Sunrise on the Reaping, available now at audible.ca slash sunrise. Hello and welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

I'm Tony, this is my best friend Ryan. Howdy. Love you. Love you, love you. Today we are making a podcast like we do every day and we're getting a TARPA to approve this one. Yeah, TARPA is a Tony and Ryan podcast and Aloise is in Maitland. Now, Aloise, even though you claim to like our podcast, you've just written here, can I please approve the podcast and talk about Moondang?

Moondang? Not Moondang. What's Moondang? Oh, well, I don't know. That's why I'm asking the expert. Why are you saying Moondang? Well, I just saw that... Well, Moondang is Well, I just saw that. Well, moondang is not what it's called, is it? Oh, well, I've got two moodang experts here.

So what is that the hippo thing? Yes, she is the little pygmy hippo in Thailand. And is she big in Maitland? Was the connection here like a sister city or something? I don't know her. No. She's a little viral sensation. What's your favorite thing about moodang besides my pronunciation obviously? Just how chaotic she is. I love her so much. Is that why you like us? Yeah, yeah, you guys give me dang vibes actually, which is the pick me hippos hang on

Can someone please let me know on the episode is being compared to Moodenga compliment. Yes, it absolutely is. I don't know if it is. It absolutely is. Well, we'll let her. I know Eloise will think so, but we'll see what everyone else has to say. Will you approve today's episode? Absolutely.

Fuck yeah. Awesome. Hey, this is Eloise from Maitland and I approve this podcast. Today is going to be a short episode because the sooner we finish this episode, the sooner we can have the chocolate coconut water that's in the fridge. And just to confirm, is it coconut water and not coconut milk? There's a difference, eh? Yeah, there is a difference.

It's coconut water. So we didn't ever have normal coconut water because it tastes like... Cum. However, Charles introduced us to chocolate coconut water and we are... Chocolate cum. Well, you know, you think it's going to taste like chocolate cum, like, you know when you eat an Easter egg... Yeah, okay. And then you drink some water and it's going to taste like chocolate cum, like, you know, when you eat an Easter egg,

yeah, OK. And then you drink some water and it's like chocolatey water. Yeah. It's like sticky. Cleaning up the leftovers on the way through. So I thought that chocolate coconut water would taste like chocolate cum. Like if I ate an Easter egg and then drank some cum. It's not. It's really good. So let's get this episode done. Yeah. And then let's watch those five different types of electrolytes in the chocolate coconut

water disappear. It's actually a health superfood because it's like all the benefits of the coconut water plus chocolate. Plus the benefits of chocolate. Yeah. Well, it's probably cacao or something. Cacao. It does have coconut cream in it.

2%. 2%. 95% coconut water. What's that mean? Cacao. It does have coconut cream in it. 2%. 2%. 95% coconut water. I love coconut cream. So hang on. 95% coconut water, 2% coconut cream and 3% cacao. It says 1% cacao.

Then what's the other two? That's the giz. That's where the cum comes in. Yeah, my mistake. Tapa Emma Bryce has put a post in the Facebook. She's just moved house. Congratulations. Congratulations Emma. I hope it was like to a better house. You know when sometimes you have to move like for work or whatever and you go, I've just had to cop it and it sucks now.

Or did she time the market right though? Oh, but it's not about timing the market. It's about timing the market. We just had a, the guys are laughing because of the tariffs on the tariffs off. We've been trying to buy and sell shares on our phones for the last hour and we've just become experts and Tony's learned that phrase and she's bang on folks. So write that down. Thank you so much.

Write that down. Well, the crazy thing about the landscape of- Take the win, take the win. Take the win. ... investing at this point in time is that it's actually, yeah, it's about buying and holding. And people get into this terrible rhythm and the pattern of buying and selling and you know, it's not about that.

And that's a visual advice. And I actually worked on a finance podcast and I've learned more today than I did then. So- But legally, this is not financial advice. This is not financial advice. This is not financial advice. worked on a finance podcast and I've learned more today than I did then. But legally this is not financial advice. This is not financial advice. I'm actually a retired financial advisor.

I've actually never been investigated by ASIC. Well, that's not why. Yeah. Emma Bryer said, Hey Emma, I want to hear everyone else's moving house fails because I need to feel like I'm not the only one. Yeah. Have a look at the picture I've texted you Tony Lodge. That is the passenger seat of Tapa Emma's car.

Oh no. You know the worst thing about this? I think that's a Yaris. That is a Yaris. The turning circle is great, but it is the whole passenger seat. The footwell. The footwell is full of paint. Foot not well. Foot not well.

I went to unpack the car and realized that a five litre tin of paint had fallen over in the footwell and just popped open. I was so exhausted from moving house I just closed the door and pretended it didn't happen for three days. But at that point couldn't you just go back into the car and peel it out? Yeah let it dry. It's like a big thing of rubber. Yeah if you just let it, well she's got a little like, yeah a little scraper. A little scraper there surely could you just peel it, well, then she's got a little like, Yeah, a little scraper. A little scraper there. Surely, could you just peel it out after that? Is that how it works?

I think so. Take it to the car wash. No, it wouldn't, or more water, wouldn't that just like, I don't know. Yeah. Can we, Do you have a sunroof in your car?

I do. What would happen if we cracked that and went through the car wash? We'd get wet, isn't it? But dressed in our bathers, like if we were just like, and made a game of it? Yeah, what about the interior of my car though, we'd all get wet.

But it's leather though. Yeah. It's gonna soak in, it's gonna shine it up. But it goes through the drying, it goes through like the drying machine. There is a drying machine. Yeah, how can we just do it? Okay, first, podcast, second,

chocolate, coconut water, third. Go through the car wash and our bathers. And then if we just get some fucking salt and pepper squid call today. That is the perfect Monday. Tarpers have come to the rescue and said, Hey, not the only one moving is a stressful time of all made mistakes.

Melissa. Hi Melissa. I dropped a bottle of olive oil from the kitchen box and it broke. Cover of olive oil from the kitchen box and it broke, covering the floor from the elevator to the front of the apartment in oil. Oh. It was like a slippery dip and we had 11 boxes to go. How good you just push them along there.

You don't have to carry anything else. Tony, here comes the linen. That is a plus. Don't be looking at that wrong, Melissa. Yeah, see, people need to be more positive like me. This is moving house horrors, not moving house fucking legendary moves. Yeah. Oh, it's a lot easier to say.

Moves. Ah! That is not how you want to introduce yourself to the building manager. Remember when I lived in that big apartment and that building manager was like kind of not great? Which one? Like in the big apartment. The Cedar or the Vic Gardens? Vic Gardens.

Yeah. The Cedar. There wasn't a building manager there. There was like eight houses. That's what I thought I was like. Yeah. Nah, in the big one, he was just like kind of like stuff would get stolen and you'd be like, could you check the cameras?

He'd be like, yeah. And then like four weeks later, you'd be like, hey bro bro, like, would it be all good if you like, yeah. So cameras, he's like, what? He's like, when? I'm like the text above, you know? But that's like not how you want to meet your like grumpy superintendent at the thing. Yeah.

Tony Alvarez. Fake name. The top of the salt shaker came off in the kitchen box and as if it was fucking glitter, it went fucking everywhere and years later, we're still finding the salt everywhere and anything from our kitchen tastes salty. Oh, we'll get into your rice, et cetera. Yeah. Jordan Piper.

Hi Jordan. Piper. That's a fake name if you've ever heard of him. My boyfriend and I just bought our first house. Congratulations. He was. What an investment. Time in the market. Yes, time in the house.

He was carrying the TV, walking backwards and hit his head on a low hanging light. And then his head tilted forward and hit the corner of the TV. Oh, is the TV OK? They can still watch Netflix. Thank God. He can't because he's blind. Well, only one side. Yeah.

When you, because you just hear carrying the TV and you go, oh, but hit in your own head. That's fine. A person can heal. A Samsung Bravia can't. Not so much, yeah. Not sponsored, by the way. Also, there's a Sony Bravia, not a Samsung Bravia.

I said Sony, didn't I? Nah, you definitely said Samsung. Has anyone got a spare, not a full frame TV? Just the frame? Just the actual frame, because I've had a frame TV for two years and I still can't get my hands on the actual frame, so just the TV. But the thing- That I paid extra for, for the the frame thing that isn't a frame. So with the frame, obviously, yeah, you can get the thing that like clicks to the outside,

but the thing about the frame TV is that it has the function that it can just like stay on and look flat. It does. Yeah. So yeah, we've got that part of it. So you can still like, you can still use that. But when it's not within a frame, it's like, who are you trying to kid? And also, cause on that wall where you have your TV,

you don't have other things around it. So it doesn't look like art anyway. I've said this, we should get more paintings above it. So then when we put a painting in the fake frame, you just go, oh, well. It's a gallery wall. Perfect. Yeah, which is like the whole thing.

Speak to my interior designer. Okay. Who's also gallery wall. Perfect. Yeah, which is like the whole thing. Speak to my interior designer. Okay. Who's also my wife. Tracy Anne. Now I'm gonna read this first sentence of Tracy's story and then we're all gonna decide as a group how much sympathy we have for her. Oh, okay.

Oh, sorry, Tracy. It's not looking good so far. I moved during the summer and wore flip flops. It's a no from me. You're asking for trouble. It's just like, even if it's not the flip faults flip flops fault. I don't like saying flip flops. Can we just say thongs? Pluggers. So you're wearing thongs in your moving house. In Australia, obviously, safety thongs, all good.

But in America, I don't think they have those. When we have crocs at our house on Mabel's feet, when we put the back on, we call it sports mode. I don't think you made that up. I think that's like a huge thing on the internet. Okay. Yeah. But I'm not on Crock-Tock, so I don't know. Not like years before that.

That's like always what it's been called. Yeah, you have not made that up. Did I check that? Did I claim that I had started that? No, just then you're like, oh, we do this at home. Well, we do do it at home. That's fine. Yeah, but like the way she literally knows not many words, but she knows sports mode.

Yeah. Great. Just original humor from the Dunhouse. I just love that you're like, yeah, so we do this thing. Imagine if I was like, oh, we do this thing at home where we put tomato sauce on a sausage sizzle. It's crass. Propulsionary. Yeah. Thank you guys. Yeah. Bolognese sauce. And then we eat our sports crock in mode. Whatever. Fuck we said. Anyway, Kellyck in mode. Whatever fuck we said.

Anyway, Kellyanne. Nope. Stacey. Nope, Tracy. Tracy Anne. Sorry? Wore flip-flops slash thongs whilst moving. I tripped over the vacuum wire.

The wire got under my toenail and ripped the toenail clean off. Were they in sport mode though? What sport mode? What sport mode? I just like to come in here. Oh yeah you do. And share tales from my family so we can all feel as one of the community. and share tales from my family so we can all feel as one as a community.

However, today someone has had a rough one in the market and is lashing out. This wasn't me. I don't even know what the market is. I just know that it's about the time in the market, not time in the market. Hang on, how are we looking? Oh, fuck yeah. Sorry. Australian foundation looking good. Okay. Not official.

Not financial advice. I think though that that could happen at any time, not just when you're moving house. Yeah, true. You know, like that's not really, I just don't like wearing thongs. I hate them. I hate the feeling of them, the thing between my toes. It makes me feel sick. Where do we stand with tradies using the bathroom? To be honest, I'm more shocked when they say

they don't need to use it. I'm like, well, are you shitting in my garden? Yeah, you've been here all day, bro. Like you've been here all day, like what are you doing if you're not coming into the back door, you know? Three cans of energy drink, two coffees, and a sausage roll. How are you not?

Do you know what I mean? Shitting all afternoon. So for me, it's more that when I say, oh, if you need the bathroom or anything like that, there's something that like, you come, like knock on the door whenever you need, if you need anything, then they don't take you up on that. I go, well, am I gonna find a pile of shit later?

Like, have you buried it in my front yard? If you're not doing it in the toilet, where are you doing it? Like, if you're not coming inside, then are you shitting in your car? No one's drinking three very tall cans of energy drink and not shitting out something in the next 44 minutes. That's even generous.

Yeah, so I'm pro tradies using my toilet. We had a, um, internet guy here the other week and I was like, if you need the bathroom, bro, like we've got cold water upstairs and we've got the bathroom down there. Like whatever. If you need the toilet, we've got cold water. Sorry, that was just me doing two generous offers. In case I shit myself on the floor and need to like wash it. Need to wash it away. Um, uh, Ali Stubbs. I shit myself on the floor and need to like wash it. Need to wipe it away.

Ali stubs. She should talk to Stacey Anne. Tracey Anne. She stubs her toilet. One of the removalists asked to use the toilet. And before I'd even got to use the toilet in my own house, clogs it. Fuck you. I told him he better get it flushing or I'd be grabbing him the gloves.

Sorry. That has taken the wind out of Tony Lodge, like a 3% increase in tariffs. I don't even know what that means. Yeah, well, I mean, are you allowed to legally be like, you've clogged my toilet, you have to fix it. I don't know about legally, but socially, he'd want to fix it.

Like? And that's not like a, you'd want to fix it, but like you'd actually want to fix it. Surely you'd want to, you'd feel really bad. Imagine how sheepish he'd walk out. You go, it was like that when I got here. And she goes, well, I actually don't know if it was because I haven't been yet.

Where did you shit that it wasn't connected? Where was that story? Where did I shit that it wasn't connected? Did maybe someone crap in an open home? Oh no, that was me at that place. I don't know being to Wumba. Okay. Get the, I'll tell you a story.

We, cause in regional radio, the sales team will sell anything. Yeah. So we did our show on a Friday morning in Toowoomba live from like a display home because the sponsor that week was LG Gardner Homes or whatever. Yeah. And so we go out. So, you know, take away coffees before the show, start the show, gets to the seven o'clock news and I'm like, well, I'm going to have to duck out and, you know, take away coffees before the show, start the show, gets to the seven o'clock news and I'm like, well, I'm going to have to duck out and, you know, use the bathroom. Yeah. In a display home. That's not on you.

Thank you. That's not on you. That's what Hamish, who I was working with, said to the guy. Yeah. That's not on you at all. I think that if you're working somewhere, there needs to be a toilet you can access. Thank you. Like actually legally, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's why in IKEA they've got the little covers

so that you don't accidentally use it. Finally, Emily Norwell. The removalist asked if I had any idea why that box was vibrating. It was exactly what we're all thinking. Nutri-bullet turned on. The box was vibrating because sometimes I like something vibrating in my box. The removal guys didn't stop laughing all day. I almost immediately moved again. They've seen it all. Yeah. Haven't they? Yeah.

Well, felt it all. I'm just picking up the box and it's... Hey, it's Eloise from Maitland and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by Majuri. And Majuri has the nicest fine jewellery. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colours and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please.

You know these gold earrings that I wear? They're majorie. Oh. And they were like the first bit of jewellery I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like,

oh, I think I'm a jewellery person now. Yes, I'm a majorie person now. Yeah. Oh, put that on the front cover of, it's not a book, of this audio ad. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but fun vibe, just like Tony, minimal and fun. Oh my gosh, you're speaking my language.

And it's also affordable. Majuri pieces are designed in-house and handcrafted by world renowned jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Plus in 2020 the brand launched the Maduri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals so they're doing good while helping us look good. Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on maduri.com. Let's talk about cream. I love cream.

Are we talking like ice cream or like moisturiser? Actually as a sensitive skin girl, I can do both. I know you can do both. And as much as we love ice cream, I'm currently talking about moisturiser. I'm talking about Aveeno Baby Healthy Start, which for young kids that you can use from day one. You can use this healthy start balm

to help moisturize, nourish and comfort the skin of babies. And when Mabel is older I want you, Tony, to remind her who moisturized her every night. So when she's got beautiful skin you'd be like, yep dad used to do that for you. Well I was about to say you're doing a great job because she high-fived me yesterday when I came around for dinner and they were the softest hands I've ever felt. You're welcome Tony, you're welcome Mabel. Well, we love a routine, and we know how important good skin habits are

to start early. And with a Veno Baby Healthy Start, it's easy to moisturise and support baby skin moisture barrier from day one. You can learn more at aveno.ca. I'm as a shout out to a few of our champion tapas on this beautiful Monday. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Amy Sutherland, we absolutely love to see Ames. Thank you so much.

Alex Scherer, Mama Lise, Ben Pippett, Amanda B, Bethany Viken and Christy Mingo. We love you, Christy. Thank you so much. Christy Mingo. Yeah, the big Ming. Now the big Ming and others like her have been voting for us in the Webby Awards. We are nominated for best comedy episode.

Like in an individual episode. It was the episode with Matthew Bates. I think it was the 8th of January this year. We would love if you voted for us. If we win, we are going to New York City to claim our prize. Yeah. Well, we're gonna try.

We're gonna do our best. Together. The thing is quite limited tickets is the only thing. No, but if we win, I think we're good. No, so if we win, we get access to buy tickets and then it's first in best dressed. Oh, right. So it's like, you don't win and then you's first in best dressed. Oh, so it's like you don't win

and then you get to go it's like you get to try and buy tickets it's gonna be harder than Taylor Swift tickets to get. Lady Gaga tickets go on sale today at 10am. Pre-sale starts at 10am for Mastercard holders for Lady Gaga Australia. So I will be on the internet soon. Charles, do you have something to add? Oh I I was just going to say, I don't think it's going to be as hard as Taylor Swift, just because it's like limited more like limited who can buy it. Who can buy it. So true. And there's probably going to be a limit to like how many each person can buy as well.

Well, this is then the next question, because you can buy individual tickets or you can buy tables. I think that's going to depend on how much they cost. I would also think it would depend on how much it costs to fly there. To fly there. Yep. At last minute. And how much money you and Lily have made in the stock market and whether you can fly yourself to New York.

Well, I've lost $7. Okay. If I can buy tickets for less than negative $7. Negative $7. All right. Well, we don't know yet yet so it's all up in the air. Lily how much are you down this morning on the stock on the stocks? Nine dollars now. Okay. Negative nine dollars. You're actually not supposed to watch your portfolio do you know what

I mean? You're supposed to just like tick along the background. So I'm up what was I? 100 bucks. I watched pot never boils. You're up 240. Fuck yeah. Oh, what? How much is it? Oh, tickets are on Ryan. I think tickets are like $10 each. All right. I reckon a table's gonna be like $3,000. I'll buy the table if you guys get yourselves there.

I've got a- That's a shit offer if I've ever heard one. That is not a good- Yeah, I've got an Amex, so it's all good. Me too. No. Get there with your own money, not with your own card to our banking account.

Yeah. It's credit, it's free, guys. Charles, Charles. I think you're understanding. Charles. Actually, you know what, Charles, try and book it on your credit card, because I think you'll find a few little-

It's being canceled. Yeah. No, but- Oh, I've got access to another one as well. Yeah. They're all being cancelled. But the more we spend, the more points we get. That's so true, Lily!

Not financial advice. Not financial advice. Not investment advice. Hey, I've got a question for everyone. Also though, do you reckon, sorry, that a table is going to be of like 20 people? I don't know 20 people. That's what I'm saying. Like you wouldn't even want to buy a table because-

How many on a table? We'll fill it with tarpas. So a table seats 10 people. How much is it? No. In USD? $11,750. Okay, so no, tarpas are going.

And Ryan and I are actually going to rock paper scissors to see which one of us is going. That's for a table of 10. Well, if you divide that's still over a thousand dollars each. US and the Australian dollars tanks. That's probably like two grand per person. You also look behind the curtain. You also have to pay to enter. Like, you know.

All right, we'll pay for rocks. Is it now or when we get there? When we get there. Okay. Because I still want to wear a fancy outfit even if I don't get to go in. Yeah, fair. Honestly, fair. Um...

I've got a question for everyone. Okay. Alright, I need everyone to concentrate. Oh, you can get student pricing for $90. Okay, I've just asked for everyone to concentrate. Sounds like we've just moved on and you're fucking this up. Are we all good to go? Oh mate, I was on your side.

Now this week- I don't know about these fucking jokers. Now this week, Easter. Good Friday on Friday. This week, Easter. This week, Easter. I've been live in the Patreon, talking about, I'm just, I'm going for it you guys.

I'm making an Easter hat. I love it and I love craft, so I'm just doing it. I don't have a school to go to or a parade or anything. I'm just doing it because I love it. No, you can parade around Tarp Tower later in the week and we'll all watch. Should we do an Easter hat parade here? Does that tell my other people I'm making hats? We will have an Easter parade here and there will be an Easter hat and Tony will be wearing it. Thank you so much. Now-

You fuck off. Don't- I won't allow you to walk into this building with an Easter hat on. Trot on Tony's turf. Now, what besides Easter, Easter is known for two things. I didn't really know much about the Easter hat until I met Tony, but one thing Easter generally means socially, culturally in Australia, it's like the main weekend where people go camping. Like, oh, it's Easter. Cause you get like a few bonus days.

Yeah, we get the Friday off, we get the Monday off and then there's Anzac Day. So everyone does a little off. We take two days and you'll leave in between and then we'll take the- And that doesn't work out every year. But it has this- Because Easter like is to do with the moon, not to do with the actual dates it's on. So that's why it's not always the same time. But yeah, so Easter we get the Easter Friday, sorry, Good Friday, then the Easter Monday and then yeah. So here is the question we need to ask. What the fuck is camping? Because there's been a debate this week in the office. You would not

think that we could debate something so stupid, but here we are. What is camping? Tony, do you want to share what you're doing in your side of like, yeah, please. What's going on this weekend? Let me explain. So this weekend for Easter, Torbs and I are going to the beach. We're very, very excited. And we are camping in a caravan park. So we've

got our own little plot and we're gonna like put up all of our stuff. We're driving out to the beach, it's like 10 hours away or something. So doing a big road trip and then we're camping in the caravan park. I am so fucking excited because I grew up camping in caravan parks every year in Broome with my family. Yep. So like we slept in a tent, but like it was at the caravan park. So there's like toilets and showers and all of that. So it's like not really camping.

And this is where the internal brawling has begun. Because we've said stuff like, looking forward to going camping, and you've said, well, it's not really camping. It's not really camping. So what does really camping mean to you? Because, actually no, I'm just gonna. No, well, so when I think camping, then people go, and I've said to you,

we're going camping for the thing, and you said, oh, I like, can't think of, I like would not go camping. Yeah, it's a no from me. But I don't think what we're doing is camping. Why not? Because we're in a caravan park. Like when I think camping and when people go, oh, I hate camping, I just assume that

they mean like camping like in the bush by yourself, you know, like nothing. Like really off the beaten track, like Bear Grylls. Yeah. Well, that's more survival shit, I guess. I'll be like, there's no one around, there's no amenities. Yeah, no amenities. Can you imagine Bear Grylls at a caravan park? So I woke up and went to the shower block and had a shower and went to the tuck shop

and got a hot dog. And people are just like, wow, how's he doing that? And you go, well, he's just buying the stuff he needs. Yeah. Like, oh, he's gone out there with nothing. I'm like, yeah, but he went to Coles yesterday. Like, it's actually fine. He got a rotisserie chook on the way out there.

And so we like, I'm not even joking. Across the road from the caravan park, there is like an Insta famous bakery. Like, that's not camping. That's camping. I've got a quote here from the Dalai Lama, who you've met. Who I've met actually, I've gotta call him.

If you pitch a tent in the backyard, you're camping in the backyard. If you pitch a tent at the beach, you're camping at the beach. If you pitch a tent in the lounge room, you are camping in the lounge room. If you pitch a tent in the campgrounds of a caravan park, you are camping in a caravan park.

If you pitch a tent, you are camping. That is crazy to me. I just don't agree at all. We're all going crazy that you think that's crazy. Because I'm like, I'm not, I think that there's something like, wow, camping like wilderness girl. I don't think I'm a there's something like, wow, camping, like wilderness girl. I don't think I'm a wilderness girl.

We don't think you're a wilderness girl. No, but that's why I'm saying, like, I don't think I can claim that as camping because it's not camping. I'm not. Did you want me to read the quote? Are you in a tent? Are you in a tent? Yeah. Camping.

Watch me do this again. What is Torb staying in this weekend? Tent. Camping. Watch me do this again. What is Torb staying in this weekend? Tent. Camping. Would you like a third go? Yeah. Is there any other people going? No, it's just the two of us.

The people camping next to you, are they in a tent? I don't know yet. Also camping. I don't know yet. They might be in a caravan. Hypothetically, if the people next to you are in a tent, would they be in a tent? Yeah.

Camping. Oh, what if they're in a tent? Yep. Camping. Oh, what if they're in a caravan? Is that camping? No, that's caravanning. But do you see what I mean? I don't think that I can claim it as camping because it's not camping. I'm not like starting a fire. In fact, you're not allowed fires in the caravan park.

Well, they need to live and that's a separate issue. But okay. So if I invited you- Someone says, what are you doing for Easter? Yeah. And what do you say? Camping in the caravan park. And what was that first C word you used?

But it's not camping, is it? God, the word camping is like losing. Oxford dictionary defines camping as the activity of spending a holiday living in a tent. Oh, I don't think that's right. Well call Oxford. I just don't. And why don't you ask them, get any stock tips?

Cause they've got economic scholars and shit. See if they know a guy. Yeah. But, so, okay. So you have said to me, like, I hate camping. Like that's not my thing. Yeah. I went camping when I was younger.

Now I couldn't be fucked. But so if I invited you with us away, would you have been like, well no? I would love to come away with you and Torb this weekend. Unfortunately, I've got university, so I can't make it. I'm back, new subject guys, but it's an easy one. All good, no stress this time. I would love to go to the beach with you guys,

and then maybe we'll get on the standup paddleboard during the day. Should I take my standup paddle board? Absolutely you should. I didn't even think about that. Maybe we'll go get an ice cream from the shop. Yes. Go to the famous bakery. Go to the famous bakery. Maybe later in the afternoon. I'll happily sit in a camp chair in the afternoon.

And drink piss. And have a few brewskis. Yeah. And then I'll go. Sorry, now I sound like I'm going camping. You drink piss. Yeah, you got a week to get into the zone. I got to get in there. And then when it gets a bit later, I'll be like, sweet, I'm going to the motel across the road to sleep in a bed. Because there's something about, first of all,

it's not cheaper to go camping because the shit's expensive. And motels are cheap as fuck. And foreshadowing, I'm yet to find out what Tony spent on this trip. And I think we're finding out later in the week. Is that correct? Okay. I didn't hear much. We're not talking about it.

I was like, I was almost waiting for the interruption. It's not that expensive. But for me, the idea of a holiday is to like sleep in and to be comfortable because I don't really get to sleep in much during the week or whatever. Totally. And so if the whole point is to like sleep in and relax, then let me sleep in a bed. Okay.

I don't even give a fuck that it's not my bed. But what about? Just don't lay me down in dirt. But like, I mean, it's not dirt though. But when, so when I used to go camping when I was younger, Dave Parsons and I would get on the beers. Yeah. The sun hits that tent get on the beers. Yeah. The sun hits that tent at fucking 6am in summer and by 7 o'clock you're sleeping in a fucking

sauna and if there's anything worse for a hangover than just sweating your ass off. How good are for your skin to sauna? The thing is, is that what if I sold it to you and this is why I liked it as a kid and why I'm really excited about going. Let me also say I haven't been yet. I might go and fucking hate it. That's a great point. But cozy. Like sleeping in a tent is, and like all your stuff's there and it's all organized. You know where my stuff is? At my house. Yeah. And my house is cozy as fuck. And you're allowed to light a fire at my house, preferably at the fireplace.

Yeah. Yeah. Not just randomly. I told Mabel, like, no. Stop rubbing them sticks together. Back in the little hole where it goes. Yeah. Thank you.

No. And I have a fire at my house as well. And it's really lovely. But I just. You turn yours on with a button. Yeah. It's just a remote. It's very good.

I reckon old Tony that camps, like young, old younger Tony. How those words both work. At the same time, like old Tony back in the day. Yeah. But then young Tony back in the day. Yeah. They both make sense and they're the opposite. Past Tony.

Past Tony loved being in the tent. Yeah. I reckon. And that was like with my family. Yeah. Like it was my mom and my dad and my sisters and me. Like we were all there. I reckon you, Tony, has had a taste of the good life.

I reckon, I'm not hoping this, but I suspect you'll get back and go, we had a great time. Maybe next time we will get the hotel with the amenities. So I can park, so you can park the Audi undercover in the hotel car park. Hot tub with the button. so you push the little bath. I've got that at home too.

The button? In my hot tub, yeah. Oh, of course, yeah, yeah. Fuck, you've got it good at home, dog. Yes, Charles. Do you know how close your closest four seasons is, or do you have an Airbnb book just like backup or something? Do we have a backup?

Well, okay, so the funny thing about the funny thing about a backup is that a backup is actually not an option because it's the busiest weekend. It's Easter weekend. Everything. That's why I'm wondering if you put it out there. Tony struggled to. There's no backup. Tony actually, tell me if I'm wrong.

No. Really struggled to find this, what three by three square meter patch of grass. We went further north and then had to keep going south until we found a caravan park where you could even get a spot. And that was like two months ago. Big four caravans.

This website went down because Tony was just heading down the coast, bombing them up. And I was just like on the map and I'm like, right, next one down. And because every coastal town has three to four caravan parks. So I go, I've just hit the two on this street and Torb's goes, I've hit the other two. No luck. Next one down. So you started at Byron Bay and then you go and we worked our way down. We worked our way down. It turns out Tony's camping at Caram Downs, which is about 25 minutes away.

I'm actually camping in Ryan's backyard. That would be so fun. Tell me. Yeah. Right now. That's not camping though, is it? Do you want me to read the thing from the Dalai Lama? Sorry. Tell me how your trip wouldn't be better camping in my backyard. Um.

Can you light a fire at my place? No. Yes. In your backyard. Yeah. You would let me light a fire in your backyard. Yeah, we'll get a fire pit. Fire pits are stupid.

And you know it. I do know that, but because you can't light a fire, but you're camping. Yeah, no, but I've got alternative arrangements for that. Because like they've got a campers kitchen there, et cetera. You know, like, and you can camp with all the, you can cook with all the other people. Camp on the grass out the back. Yeah. There's a pool there.

You can light a fire. When you want to have a hot shower, you just come on in. Well. There's a pool there. Yes. You can light a fire. Yep. When you want to have a hot shower you just come on in. Yep. Um, the coffee. Well there's one outside. Yeah. Oh there is too. Uh, come inside for, I'll make you a coffee. A little flat white in the morning. That's nice. Uh. And I get to hang out with Maybe. Yep. Uh, Pippa can come. She's welcome. Yeah. We don't have a no dogs policy at our campsite. That is a positive. Tell me what's better about where you're going than my backyard. Is there a sauna where you're going? There is not a sauna where I'm going.

Okay. I mean, the only thing that's different and I'm not saying that this is a positive or a negative. Is that I'm there? You say you're not there. No, I will cut that. I actually, no, enjoy the trip. Have a good time.

I know what I'm working really hard every day with my friend Ryan and I just need some space. With who? My best friend Ryan. Thank you. And I just need some space a little bit of a break. You know what I might do on my five days off? I might stay at his house. Yeah and while we're there let's record a podcast. Yeah oh we might as well just keep going. So we are off on Friday, no show. And then all next week, no shows. We're having a little break. I'll be at Ryan's, so we might just pop something out.

Will there be a little couple of sneaky Instagram stories just so we can get a taste of the camping life? Will my phone work? Dude, yeah. Did you get the international roaming? I've got a- Where you're camping, there is the Instabaker across the street. There is a Dan Murphy's about three minute drive away.

God's Trinity. Dan Murphy's a little worse. Well, I've never been, I'm really excited. But yeah, now I reckon there'll be a few IGs. Yeah. Yep. And I think Torbs and I will stop at all of the major landmarks between here and there. If there are any, I actually don't even know. Great. Probably won't stop. It might be a quick trip. Just go skate pool. There might be a sign that says like, you're leaving Victoria. Are we leaving Victoria? Really? Where am I?

You're in New South Wales. Oh, I didn't know that. That's cool. You can drive to Canberra as well. Oh, I don't need my passport. No. I've lost it since we took it to Tasmania. I've got a love to see it here. Amazing.

From Crystal Goodrose. I haven't seen my wallet in 232 days. Who's counting? She was. But I found it and I had 40 bucks in it. days. Who's counting? She was. But I found it and I had 40 bucks in it. Free money. That's better than the stock market at the moment. Yep. You're doing better than Charles and Lily.

That's awesome. Well done. That's and what a surprise when you find money in like an old jacket or, you know what I mean? But how is money? No one has cash. Yeah. She found 40 dollars. Was I buying drugs that day? Like, well, I mean, But how is money though? No one has cash. Yeah, she found $40 to start with. Was I buying drugs that day? Well, I mean, why else do you have cash?

I've got to love to see it here. Thursa Sugden sent this through. Yeah, she did. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, on Patreon. And Thursa says, I just wanted to share this with you guys because I really love to see it and none of my friends were excited. All of a sudden, I hate all your friends and we're your friends now and when you hear this you are gonna actually not believe how someone wasn't pumped by this. My almost 20 month old, so one and a half, just learned how to say one to ten in

English and Spanish. What the fuck? I know. Thurser says, we've been trying to teach him Spanish for a couple of months, but neither me nor his dad speak it very well. That's what all people who can speak 85 languages say. Sorry, my English is bad. It's my seventh language.

But she says, we can say your basics, like where's the toilet, please, and thank you, and hello, and stuff. But they wanted to share with their,ers you know start I'm young on like being bilingual toilet knee to my desk oh okay I already ate but thank you so much but I am so so immensely proud of him and wanted to share get new friends fuck them so fucking sick Ryan literally calls me every time Mabel does anything and I start to cry. I cannot imagine.

Can you imagine how shit. Can I do my. Yes, please, please. No, I'm going to. Yeah, no, no, you go. You go. Can you imagine how shit you would feel if like every time you tried to share like a win about you or your kids with your friends, they would just like, Oh, like you would just feel so sad all the time.

Don't place your validation in friends. Do it for yourself. That's beautiful. Be proud and also teach that kid some economics because we need some bilingual guys to work on the tariffs. Yeah. We need someone on the inside. Now this is Mabel saying hello to Tony. Speaking of Tony crying. We need someone on the inside. Now,

this is Mabel saying hello to Tony. Speaking of Tony crying. You wanna take the phone? Yeah, take the phone. Okay, say hi to everyone. Say hi to Tony. Hi, Tony. Hi, Tony. Hi, Tony.

I love the way her mouth, like she's really like concentrating on making the right sounds. And her mouth is like,'s really like concentrating on making the right sounds and her mouth is like, Tony, it's so cute. She's getting good at Tony and she was in the studio the other day when you weren't here and because there's lots of like Tony and dad posters around, she would like point you out. She's such a little babe.

Well, you want to camp with her this weekend? Yeah, why don't we take her with us? You're welcome. You guys have the weekend off? Yep. I'd actually love that so much. So would she. Take her.

Yeah, she can come. Pop a fucking baby seat in the back, all good. When you said baby seat in the back, I just thought of a baby seat in the back of the tent. That's amazing. Hey, tomorrow we got confessions. What have we got tomorrow? Don't do this. Why? Oh, well, could you give us a little hook to a confession? It's going to make us all feel bad. I don't know if this is a harrowing confession or just straight up the funniest thing we've ever heard.

Oh, amazing. Yeah, but it could go either way depending on how it's either fucked or like huge. Yeah, perfect. So, catch you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye. So, it's really no secret that we love comfort and we love lounging and today's episode is sponsored by Cozy, who we love and what we love to be, who make everyday home furnishings easy.

Modern, adaptable and worry free Cozy Design furniture for real life to make your day to day feel a little bit lighter. They also make the assembly super easy before you know it. Literally blink of an eye, stunning comfy couch, love it. And the best bit is when you want to refresh your space or if you move house, you can just reconfigure your couch. It adapts to you, your home, your way. It's the people's couch.

And I've always said that. You can mix and match, rearrange, add pieces, whatever you want. It's modern, practical and totally personalizable. So your home actually feels like your home. Plus it's great for those of us who are a little messy. Rude. Now the covers, they are interchangeable.

They are washable, which makes cleaning up simple and stress-free. You love to see that. Transform your space and visit cosi.ca, that's C-O-Z-E-Y dot C-A, the home of possibilities made easy. With the FIZ loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan.

You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with FIZ. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fiz.ca.