Toni and Ryan - Tonguin' Things at the Organic Cafe

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

What are you tonguin'? hahaha sorrry love you xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a darkly comedic look at motherhood and society's expectations, Academy Award-nominated Amy Adams stars as a passionate artist who puts her career on hold to stay home with her young son. But her maternal instinct takes a wild and surreal turn as she discovers the best, yet fiercest, part of herself. Based on the acclaimed novel, Nightbitch is a thought-provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight Pictures. Stream Nightbitch January a thought provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight Pictures. Stream Nightbitch January 24th only on Disney Plus.

Bonjour Canada, I hardly know her. We're here to talk about our friends Oxio. Oxio is an internet service provider that launched with the mission of being the first ISP that people actually like. And they've gone above and beyond because I don't like Oxio. I love Oxio. I was going to say. I'm ready. I'm ready. And they have fixed prices that actually stay the same, no term contracts and a risk-free trial period of 60 days. Imagine if all relationships had that kind of guarantee.

Yeah, just a second date would be fine. Or even food. I guarantee you'll love what you're about to eat. You know, how good would that be? Should we open a restaurant and do that? Because not many people can guarantee stuff. I like that. Oh, let's do it.

Now this is rare here in Australia. So you please respect this. Fast internet speeds of up to one gig per second. Oh, pure luxury. Our internet is like rolling a rock on the floor. That's a really great example. It actually like it's like pushing. Well, you know, something exciting about Australia is that I can be watching my

sports team on cable and then go on Twitter and find out who won. The internet is that slow when I'm trying to watch the game. Let's move to Canada. I'm moving there. Yup. Oxio.ca Visit oxio.ca for internet from a provider that won't ever raise your prices like ever

and use the promo code at checkout tarp. That's oxio.ca and use code TARP at checkout to get your first month free. Au revoir. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr.

Author, Tony Lodge. And we are calling Julene, not to be confused with Jolene. That's my Dolly Parton coincidence chat. Good morning. Jolene. You're the first person to actually be able to pronounce my name. coincidence chat. Good morning. Morning. Jolene. You're the first person to actually be able to pronounce my name. Jolene.

What does everyone else say? Oh, fuck you'd be surprised how many like, billions. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucked. To be honest, I think that even though that is amazing and I'm so happy for you that we got that right. Of all the people in the world, I'm surprised that Ryan didn't fuck it up.

Thank you for acknowledging that. That's really huge. I'm up to see it. Can I do my love to see it for the show now? No, you can't. What are you up to today? You're in real estate. Does that mean you're prepping for a bunch of auctions? No, I'm currently on maternity leave. So I'm... Congratulations, you're first.

No, my second. So I'm taking the first one to child care at the moment. And then the yeah, I'll be home with the second one. But oh God, I was actually thinking about it on the strive. During labor, I was actually listening to you guys. And whilst I was going through a massive contraction, Tony yelled the word ****. I like to be on brand, Jolene, that's for sure. Read the room, Tony. I did. Yeah. The midwife goes, where's it going to come from? And you just go have a listen to this, Tony will tell you. Yeah, Tony knows.

I'm actually a doctor, Jolene, if you don't know. So it's probably, yeah, I knew, but I knew. And my midwife looked at me. I'm still half fucked. I'm like, yeah. Amazing. That was great. Well, it was an honor to be on that journey with you. Yes, it was.

But Julie and Julie, are we approved this podcast? Absolutely. Thanks, Julie Anne. Hey, it's Julie from Adelaide and I approve this podcast. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Beautiful day. It is a beautiful day, but I am off my game. Oh no.

Now, does this- But you went for a swim this morning. I went for a swim this morning, then I got a coffee. Does this look, what have you noticed about this? Orange. This coffee cup has an orange lid and has like a- It has like a day of the dead skull on it. Yeah, because I didn't go to my regular place.

The one in the car park at the Harvey Norman? No, the one in McLeod. Please don't not. I went to the one in the clouds, like, oh, we're just fixing the coffee machine. It should be right in about half an hour. And I was like, okay. So I went to this other one around the thing

and that I saw some shit in there and I'm fucking rattled. Sorry, but can we just fucking pour one out for the poor people at the coffee place in McLeod who in the more, a Thursday morning, their coffee machine wasn't working. You imagine how many people yelled at them today. Yeah. Like, think about how many people would have fucking given them a red hot crack this morning. OK.

Like, that sucks. They in for 2025 being a good person. You need to be a good person. But also, I'll give them some feedback. Oh, I will remind you that shit can't go out. Oh, I will remind you that shit comes out. I will. They just needed to like clean their story up a little bit. Oh, OK.

Um, so if like I've worked in hotels and stuff, I know shit goes wrong. Totally. And you just go, oh, fuck you. You poor bitch. You're going to have a shit day. It is what it is. Yeah. And I'm not going to add to it.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I feel for you. You poor bitch, you're going to have a shit day. It is what it is. Yeah. And I'm not going to ask her, Oh yeah. I feel for you. You have enough problems. Yeah. Yeah. So if you kind of go the machines down, I'm really sorry, bro. You go, Hey, not your fault.

You didn't do it. You didn't do it. It's fine. But I go in and go, Oh yeah. Can I get a coffee? And she goes, so are you like in a hurry? Oh, no. I'm often, I'm often, I've heard people

yell at them today. And I went, it's not really. But what question is that? And then I go, how do you quantify a hurry? Yeah, I'm not in a hurry, but I also am on my way to work. Like, like, no, but like I'm not, I don't have all day for. But then all of a sudden you don't have a yes, no answer. So you're then trying to come up with your own story as well.

Okay. But then this is the next one. This and she's lovely. And again, they're in a stressful situation. So maybe she hasn't got the story down pat yet, because I think I was one of the first in, so maybe they've had a chat after because instead of going, the coffee machine's broken, I'm really sorry. She went, yeah. So the machine like, yeah. So did you still want to order?

Oh, my God. I don't know what that means. The machine. But does that mean it's warming up? Yeah. You're changing the. Are we talking two minutes or 30? Yeah. And she's like, don't know, hopefully soon. And I'm like,

and I went, oh, I'll come back tomorrow. And I, like, I didn't even. Then you feel like you've got to make up a story so that you can leave. Yeah. So we all, after the, we all have to go back there and hopefully it's fixed. Cause I said, I'll come back. Saying I'll come back is like so much less than like, I'm leaving. Yeah, oh, totally. I'll just come back and go, oh great, see you soon. And I went, oh.

It's like when you're at a market and you go, oh, do you sell these online? Cause you go, oh, look online. I'll look on Instagram. I'll buy it online. You're actually standing right here at the fucking market. Yeah, but like it feels less mean to be like, I might have, I'll send this to Sarah. Oh, we don't have a look at those online.

We don't actually have a website. I'll find it. I'll find it. I'll find you again. Cosmically, you know, it feels less harsh than being like, I don't want this. Yeah. Or I just bought the same thing for a dollar less at the store next door. So I walked down to another cafe and you know, like this is someone else's regular.

I don't know how they do things down there. Yeah, which is so stressful. I'm walking into a new area and it's like a little bit dark and it's like the organic cafe. So it's a bit like, we're keeping it chill. We're keeping it vibe. Zen place, Zen Hen house.

No, that's Eltham. Oh. That's the old bike store. Shout out. What's that called? Zen Den. Zen Den. I said Zen Hen like from Grilled.

You just winked and it's a podcast. But it's just for us. Yeah. Okay. I love Grilled. What's that favorite place I like? Grilled in Iltham. Henrietta. Oh, the old period chicken.

Yeah. Yeah. The chickens were the ruffles and stuff. So I go into this new cafe and again, I don't know what they do down there. I'm just trying to get my coffee. So I order, yeah, I'll get a- Very millennial thing to say. Oh, I just know workie before coffee, you know?

Get this man a coffee. I actually hate those people and I hate that I've been categorized with them, but here we are. Yeah. I should, I'm wearing a fun Negroni t-shirt. I should get a t-shirt that says- No workie before coffee.

So I'm waiting for my almond cappuccino. Just gets worse. Yeah. And then this other guy has just got a takeaway cappuccino. But I think he's like chatting some people at the front, because it's, you know, you meet a lot of people meeting in the morning or going for a walk or whatever. Yeah. But also you're like chatty because you're like, I just got my coffee.

How are you? So he's got a takeaway, but he's still there and he's finished it. And then, and I think we might have mentioned this at one stage before, but do you, do you know what's the worst thing he could do when he's finished a cappuccino? Oh, take the lid off and lick it out like a puss. I hate that. He tongued it right in front of me. And I'm pretty sure he had like a, um,

And the chocolates everywhere. Oh, it's so disgusting. He was a clean shaven man, but he had like a chocolate gotay, like, like ring around his mouth. The rim job. Yeah. Yeah. Um, chocolate rim job.

Yeah. And so, and he's tonguing it and he's getting that on his face. And he's talking to people. He's like, yeah, and we might go for a walk down the hill. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, yeah, so, yeah, it's beautiful weather, isn't it? That might be one of the seven sins. What are the seven sins?

That, and then doing that six more times. Guilt, greed, fear, tonguing cappuccinos. Yeah, I fear the guilt that that brings on. Yeah, tongueing cappuccinos. Yeah. I fear the guilt that that brings on. Yeah. So I was, I actually thought I'll ask that in normal or nah, but no. That's fucked. It's fucked you.

It's not normal or nah, it's just nah. Nah. Yeah. In today's episode of nah, it's that guy. So hey, we have to go back to the other place because I said I'd be back, but we can't make eye contact if that other guy's still loitering and tongue and things down on the foot path at the organic cafe. What are we sure?

Well, okay. No more. Nah, I guess. Emily Farouk. Hi, Emily Farouk. It's got a normal enough driving further to another Mac is because even though they're all the same, the one closest to you isn't the good one. Oh, 100% normal.

Yeah. Do you have a like, do you know which one's the good one? The one near us isn't bad. The Bellstr, it's like a huge Mac. Yeah, that is a huge one. Yeah. So that one's fine. But I do the same thing with like, like a Woolies or a supermarket or whatever.

You go, Oh, that one near us is better than the one I'm close to right now. So I'll just, I'll go a bit further. Yeah. So if I want Maccas and I'm serious about it, Altham, no. Yeah. Lower plenty. Oh, drive through only. So you've gone in there and it's not good. No, but it's just, it's like. Yeah. Lower plenty. Oh. Yes. A drive-through only.

So you've gone in there and it's not good? No, but it's just, it's like drive-through. You would only drive through. Drive through a lower plenty. When I was a kid, the Maccas like nearest to us, not good, Blondie and Kelmscott, but the one in Mattington, good if you wanted to sit in. Oh, okay. Slow through the drive-through though.

Okay. Yeah. So if you were on the move, probably not, but like if you were, you know, maybe going to the movies or something and you wanted to sit in at the Mac is not in Mattington on the corner. It's good. Yeah. Hanging out in the burger place, get a smoothie.

Yeah. Well, you don't, wouldn't get a smoothie out of a McDonald's with you. Diner energy. Oh yeah. The thick shake. Well, that's not a smoothie. Um, what's the difference between a thick shake and a smoothie besides the spelling?

Well, the stuff in a thick shake is not what is in a smoothie. They're not the same drink. In a thick shake you have ice cream, milk and stuff and in a smoothie you have ice cream, milk and stuff. No, well a smoothie is just like fruit and yogurt, isn't it? Like a smoothie probably wouldn't have ice cream in it. Is it thick and shaken? But it's more than it's not shaken. How do you mean?

What are you talking about? They're the same thing. They're made of the same things and made the same way. No, it's not. How do you make it thicky? Well, a thick shake is ice cream milk and the stuff. Yeah. Well, you just said you were shaking a smoothie,

so I don't know what's going on there. But a smoothie is- I was wondering who had James Bond. But a smoothie, yeah, I'm martini's going on there. But a smoothie is- I just wanted to be like James Bond. But a smoothie, yeah, I'm out of here. I'll get a blueberry smoothie, shake and not- Shake and not blended. But then like a smoothie would be like, yeah, yogurt, blueberries, maybe granola

or fucking oats or whatever. If you put that into a thick shake, what would it become? Well, then it would be a smoothie, but a thick shake is a different drink. So a smoothie is a thick shake with granola. Well, no, because a thick shake is not the same thing. Also, I reckon that a thick shake is much thicker than a smoothie. Well, it depends how thick or thin you're doing your smoothie.

But like normally if you ordered a smoothie, you wouldn't expect it to be as thick as like a thick shake. So I made Mabel a smoothie for breakfast or as she calls it, smoothie. So was it ice cream and milk and chocolate? There was chocolate in there. There was cacao nibs. Um, there was.

But so you see the difference. Yeah, but. You wouldn't have a thick shake for breakfast, but it was smoothie. You'd be like, well, yeah. But I made it and she complained that it was, it was too thick. Cause she was trying to suck it out of the bottle. Cause she wasn't expecting something thick.

This is the problem. I'm so glad we're workshopping this. And her face was like trying so hard to. And she's probably like, what am I doing wrong? Yeah. And she's just a little baby. So she's like, hang on. And I was like, sweetie, why are you so stupid?

You're like, what's going on? It's not the guy. You asked for a thick shot. Why would I come out of the straw? Maybe it's cause dad shook it. Yeah, instead of blending it up. If you've got a vagina, Tash has a normal or nah. Amazing, I do, thanks Tash.

Does anyone else wipe both the front and the back, even if you didn't poop, just like a little courtesy wipe, just a little fresh nap of the butt. Is this normal or nah? I think you've actually done this normal or nah before and I'm going to say nah again. Okay. Yeah. Have I done that before? I feel like I'd remember the answer. Well, I remember thinking what the fuck, Tash. So I'm pretty sure that-

Was it from Tash? I'm like, I'm pretty sure that I've heard you ask me that before. The phrase courtesy wipe has definitely been spoken about. I'm still a nah. And I really hope I said nah last time as well. Yeah, maybe just to check in. 2020, like normal nah in 2025. We just double checked.

All right, Jordan has a normal nah. When your child is asleep on you and snoring, you feel so much love and happiness. But when your partner is snoring, you feel so much love and happiness. But when your partner is snoring, you feel like ripping their fucking face off and their lungs out. Is this normal? Ask Jordan or nah. Um, it's a nah from me because I always go to bed first. Like I think Torbz does snore, but I don't know cause I'm

always asleep snoring first. So you might have to ask him actually. Yeah. But last night, you prepared to take a call. But like last night I was in bed and I just had a bit of a shocker. Like I just couldn't get comfy. It was the wrong temperature and Pippa was snoring her fucking box off. And I was ready to rip her fucking face off and her lungs out.

Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say maybe Pip is the equivalent of the baby here, but no. Normally she is, but last night I was like, I could kick you off the bed. If I wanted to, I would have. You've got strong legs and she's little, she would fucking fly if you gave her a quick kick. I'm just saying, I really am not good on no sleep. I get crotchety- I've seen you on no sleep,

and I've seen you on no sleep when people was like scratching at something she shouldn't have. And am I allowed to repeat what you've said? I said that I was going to put her in the microwave. And I would never, obviously I would never do that. Thanks for clarifying. And I would never kick her I would never do that. And I would never kick her off a bit. Obviously she's my pride and joy, but last night I was like,

oh, you are going the right way for a fucking bloody talking to girl. I love chicken and I would also put them in the microwave. Oh, chicken in the microwave. That's disgusting. Sorry. Like leftovers from yesterday. But leftovers from yesterday. Oh, not like from scratch. I'm thinking like a raw chicken breast.

Oh my God. Said it for four days. Oh, you know what's more upsetting? Boiling it. Hi, can I order that nice thing, but with no flavor? Oh, what's the difference between boiled chicken and like a poached chicken breast then? Because is that just that it's poached in like it's boiled in stock instead of boiled in just water? Guess we'll find out Friday. Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Oh, look forward to that. We're gonna Google what is boiled chicken.

Stay tuned. Hey, it's Juleen from Adelaide and, oh, fuck. Hey, this is Juleen and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. In a darkly comedic look at motherhood and society's expectations, Academy Award-nominated Amy Adams stars as a passionate artist who puts her career on hold to stay home with her young son. But her maternal instinct takes a wild and surreal turn as she discovers the best, yet fiercest, part of herself.

Based on the acclaimed novel, Nightbitch is a thought-provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight pictures. Stream NightBitch January 24th, only on Disney Plus. ["The Night of the Tiger"] A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Monica Pluto, good on you Monica. Quentin, love you Quentin. Demille Keevil, Monica Brewster and Josh Fullwood. Yeah he is.

Fullwood, sorry. Thank you so much for supporting us on Patreon. Today and all this week is recommendation week. Yeah, it is. It's everyone's job to, do we say two or three? Three. You have to recommend Tony and Ryan to three of your friends who you think would like it. Or a colleague or a family member or someone who's just like

doing too well in life and just needs to be like brought down a peg. What do you mean? Because they need to hear some fucked up stuff like dogs in microwave just to balance them out. No, that's not dogs in microwaves. It's just a silly thing to say. I would never do it. That's not like a theme of the podcast. Maybe someone got recommended this yesterday and this is their first day.

Well, that's not what it's like. I go, Oh, what's, what's it normally like? Is it normally very like microwave heavy? Yeah. Well, you put a chicken breast in the microwave. That's more upsetting. I feel. Yeah, you're right. So if you are new chicken breast in the microwave. That's more upsetting. I feel. Yeah, no, you're right.

So if you are new, uh, I have a daughter, Mabel. She is 20 months old. Isn't that crazy? And she's like, we've held out for 20 months, but she's discovered the wiggles. Oh, and it's over for my Spotify algorithm. What's 20 months? Can you give it to me in like human time? I think you'll find.

Like what's. Like where you use months. Like just over one and a half. Yeah. And just less than two. No, cause I think you can say, cause it's like, I feel like you can say that up to 18 months.

Okay. She is 18 months and two months. 18 plus two. She's not quite two. Right. But she 18 months and two months. 18 plus two. She's not quite two. Right. But she's loving, she's just, oh, the day cares introduced her to fucking Baby Shark. Oh, cause they would just be doing all that stuff. Just tuning in the dance and the these ones and stuff. I actually love that though.

And then she knows on dad's playlist on his phone that it goes from Baby Shark into Hot Potato from The Wiggles. So as soon as, if we listen to baby shark somewhere else, as soon as the song finishes, she's like, where's the hot potato? That is so cute. So it is horrifying. Yeah. But even if I've got a playlist that I hear all the time, when one song ends, I'm almost like my brain is triggered for the next one to start. So if I hear the same song on the radio, I'm just fucking- Nah, I listen to everything on shuffle. Oh, no, that's just- Unless I'm listening to one album, then I listen to one album in order. But if I am listening to things that aren't one album, then I'll listen on shuffle. I like the surprise. Yeah, I should embrace it, but it's just, it's

too crazy out there. Nah, I do, but you also only have like eight liked songs and you like take ones out where I've got thousands. Yeah. It's a tightly held ship. Nah, mine's fucking loose ass. Are we still doing, not thrown to the bus, Tony's monthly Spotify playlist? That isn't a thing that was ever a thing. I just, just the vibes.

Yeah, just the vibes. Yeah. I did a couple of good summer ones on Patreon. Yeah. But now that the Wiggles have come into my life, and I don't know if I've shared this story before, but like, it's, I've actually got some beef with the Wiggles. How can you have beef with the Wiggles? They're like a child's band. Our Wiggle probably has beef with me. Well, that's not the same thing.

No, it's actually not. And it is my fault. And I'm embarrassed. Anytime the Wiggles plays, I kind of like, reminds me of something bad I did back in the day. And I'm really not proud of it. But every time. If all the time that you thought about something bad you did back in the day, you thought about it, you'd never get anything done. No, but when the Wiggles comes on, it reminds, it's, you know, I can put stuff in the back. Yeah. Oh, what do you call it?

Deep down in the, in the, what do you call it? When you say, like in your soul, in the, when you, yeah, push it down. Um, when, uh, you know, when you've got like bad things in the closet and you like, and they say in therapy, you fucking help me out. No, please. Sophie, shut up. No, help this man. This man needs help.

You, fuck you. What am I trying to say? You know what I'm trying to say. Fuck you. Compartmentalize. Great. So you're unpacking it. So I've put it away, but then every time I hear the weird thing, I'm like, oh, I'm going Compartmentalize.

Great. So you're unpacking it. So I've put it away, but then every time I hear the wiggles, it's just dragging it back out. Is it a current wiggle? Are we, like, are we at liberty to say- It's Murray. The original red wiggle. I don't want to call the baby Murray. That's for Gavin Kim fans.

Okay. But he's moved on, but it's the, the, like from the band. He was the OG Red Wiggle. The OG Red Wiggle. Back in the Anthony Murray, Greg days. Yeah. Anthony's back. Anthony never left. I don't think. Like for the day.

Yeah. No, but like he's been in the band all that time and he actually looks exactly the same and now he's got a silver tooth, which is pretty cool. And he actually looks exactly the same. Good on him. And now he's got a silver tooth, which is pretty cool. Is he still doing Captain Feathersword? Oh no. What? No, he's Anthony. Google Anthony from the wig.

Oh, we'll have to do this tomorrow. Tomorrow we will. Are you joking? Are you serious? Now I know how people who fucking ruin Christmas feel. Shit. Are you serious? We'll find out tomorrow.

I don't know. We'll have to confirm when we do live Googling on Friday. What about Dorothy and Wags add them to the list as well? Oh, well, hmm. Oh, but the thing with like Captain Feathersword, you see his face. Like it shouldn't be a surprise. I don't think it is though. We'll find out tomorrow.

Yeah, we'll find out. Okay, sorry. And I'm actually now nervous because I've kind of packed this in a little bit. And for 24 hours, maybe you've like gone out on this ledge. Okay. All right. So I was, I was at a music festival in New Castle. Where's Newcastle? Yes. Few hours north of Sydney on the beach. Oh, cool. What's the festival called?

It was called fat as butter. Is it a thing anymore? No, most music festivals. It's pretty sad. I, yeah. Um, how old would you be? Oh, 25. Sure.

I think, um, years ago. So I fucking chosen violence. Yeah. I told you I didn't sleep well. Okay. I'm not asking. No, you didn't need to tell us. We know. I'll put you in the violence. Yeah. I told you I didn't sleep well. OK. I'm nasty. No, you didn't need to tell us. We know.

I'll put you in the microwave. Fuck. Ah! So I think we just played. Wow. Yeah. That's sick. And then they played Teenage Dirtbag first,

and everyone just left. That's a shame. Yeah. So anyway, big night. Had a pretty big night. Great. Woke up in a motel with a few people. Great.

We're like, all right, because I lived in Muscle Brook. So it was like an hour and a half away. So we stayed the night in Newcastle. Oh, okay. So then the next morning we're like, all right, fucking time to head back up the hill, you know? Yeah. And because I've had a big night and because we're all aware of the strength of my bowels, we were like half an hour in and I was like,

guys I'm fucking. Yeah, and I actually think I thought I was gonna throw up. Like I was like, had a lot to drink and was like not, you know, we're in the car and I was just like. It's hot and you. It was fucked. Yeah. So there's like a highway Mackers and I go, great, pull over.

I run in there and like the men's room is full. Like there's someone in there. Yeah. And I'm just like... I need the bathroom. I am gonna throw up or shit myself. Maybe both. Probably, but like I'm sweating. There's someone in there and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And I don't, I'm not proud of this. I don't recommend this. You should not do it.

And I was like, it's, it's, it's, it's go time. And so I went into the disabled bathroom. Yeah. And like, and it was literally like, but no, you're if you need to use the butt, like is that a shit on the floor? It was sort of like, yeah, what's the alternative here? And so it was pretty harrowing. Yeah. I think I did both.

Yeah. And then I opened the door when I finished and there was a kid in a wheelchair waiting to use the bathroom and Murray was his helper. Oh, and you're like, I'm so sorry. I said to the kid, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Then I looked up and I went, Murray. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Then I looked up and I went Murray. And he was just like, sees this kid.

It's like hung over as fuck dressed like he's been in a festival and just like, I'm here with this kid, man. He needs to go and we've been waiting for you. I, you. So every time Mabel tries to hot potato me, which is probably 17 times a day. You feel awful about it. I just go, Oh Murray. Well, he's not in it anymore.

Yeah, but it just reminds me. He's 18 red wiggles ago. It wasn't like he was a dick. No, you were the asshole. So it just reminds me of what I did. It's not, I actually, I don't have beef with Murray. So do you think that when his son or daughter maybe wants to watch Tonya and Ryan,

he's like, oh, that asshole. It's actually the other way. I've heard things come out of that asshole. Yeah. Oh, that's what I say about Mari. You fucking poor thing. Cause I'm not the victim of this story. No, no, no, no, but like,

you just feel like such a jerk off, but like fucking like, yeah. Also a blight on the fucking highway public toilet. Mack is usually only has one. They need a lift. You would know better. I would. Cause I've put in so many McDonald's in my time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm barely getting cheeseburgers. I'm just shit. You're just like, need to go to the bathroom. Yeah. Fuck. Okay. Also when you, while we're on the topic, when you have to walk past the front counter

to get to the bathroom and you kind of like, nothing for me today. I can't do it. Just let me sneak in the side. I can't do it. I don't think I've ever gone somewhere and only used the bathroom. Cause I just feel so awkward.

Oh, I still feel awkward, but again, and what's the alternative? Yeah. Or sometimes when you are like, we'll get food, but I need to go to the bathroom first and you kind of like, I'm going to order something, but I just need to do a wee, like you feel like you've got to fully over explain it. And then they're like, I don't care, but you've made it way worse. So shout out to Murray.

Shout out to all the parents loving wiggles. And anytime you hear the wiggles, just know that I've done some harrowing things in front of my guy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, I'd really love to see it. Please, please. To bring it back around. This is from Edna Dinwiddie, who sent this in Patreon. Edna says you love to see it as of December 14, end of this last year. I can officially say I've fulfilled the requirements and earned a master of art in museum studies. Edna says, the past two years have been wild, but I did it and now volunteer as the go-to museum person for the podcast.

So hired, love it. For us? Yes. No charge, she says. Okay. But Edna says, if any tarpas work with museums and are hiring, as long as I can bring my cats and sewing machine, I'll move anywhere in the world. So if you work anywhere.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay. For a second there, I thought she meant, can she bring her cats and sewing stuff to the museum? It's like, as long as I can bring my cats, I'm pretty sure he can't take a cat. Surely not. No pets in the museum. That's like, as long as I can bring my cats, I'm pretty sure you can't take a cat. No pets in the museum. That's going to-

Maybe a sewing machine. Oh, even that. Cause it's not as, you know, Invasive. Invasive, yeah. But I was like, fuck dude. It's already a niche industry. Yeah, sorry.

You're not making it easy. So you're saying if you can bring your cats to the town to live in the apartment. I think it's kind of like, oh, if anybody's hiring, like, oh, pack my cats. I'm ready to go. Great. You know? Yeah. OK. OK. Poor Edna. Poor Edna. Oh, good on you for actually finishing your masters.

I wish I knew what that felt like. But also like masters of arts in museum studies. I'm like, how nation cool. Yeah. Oh, and also so's like, okay. My dream girl has just written into the podcast, but you love to see that. You do love to see that. You've started the fucking blog.

Isn't that great? Well, I've got some start the fucking blog energy from Lena Marie Toops. Hi, I'm Lena Marie Toops. Now, do you remember one of my ins for this year? Yes, I remember both of them. Being smug. Being smug.

Not just being proud of ourselves, but being smug about it. Lena Marie Toops says, I don't know if this is you love to see it or a start the fucking blog, but I've done something and I'm all about it. Amazing. I've been training for a while for a marathon and I listened to Tony and Ryan in my ears, so you've really helped me on this journey. Yep. And this weekend, I'm running my first ever marathon.

Whoa. And I'm not proud of my achievement. I'm smug about it. I was about to say, if there's one thing you can be smug about, it's running a fucking marathon. And who? Who? Oh, okay, Mr. Al. Sorry.

That was actually quite funny. Who can question the smugness of a marathon runner? No, I just said that. Yeah. I just said that. We're agreeing. Tony has this thing where I agree with her and she gets offended. No, I'm not offended, but I was like, oh, of all the things you can be smug about, you're

like, yeah. I like coffee. Do you? Yeah, I do. Oh my God. I already said that. That's not what happened. And you know, don't blast out.

Your clothing today, wearing clothes. Oh my, I already did this. Did you just say you're clothing today? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Anyway, Lena's being smug about it and apparently, of course you could be, cause you've had a marathon. No, but that is the lack of all the things. Fuck you.

Fuck you. And you're being smug about that, which ironically I respect. So we've come full circle circle so it's actually okay. All right. Tomorrow, not just an audio show, but a video show as well that you can watch on YouTube. You're welcome. You're welcome. Tomorrow, we will be finding out the following things.

Because on Fridays, we Google things. Yes. The age of Kathy Bates. Uh-huh. What was the other thing? Captain Feathersword. Is Captain Feathersword look a bit similar to Anthony from The Wiggles? Uh huh. What is boiled chicken? What is boiled chicken? Oh yes.

I mean stay tuned. Yeah that's good. One other from yesterday. You came up with something on your own volition. What does volition mean? Find out tomorrow. I'm gagging for that. Like and subscribe, leave a review, five stars. Thank you. Love you, bye. Cause a marathon.

In a darkly comedic look at motherhood and society's expectations, Academy Award-nominated Amy Adams stars as a passionate artist who puts her career on hold to stay home with her young son. But her maternal instinct takes a wild and surreal turn as she discovers the best, yet fiercest, part of herself. Based on the acclaimed novel, Nightbitch is a thought-provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight Pictures. Stream Nightbitch January 24th only on Disney+.