Toni and Ryan - Toni Admits She Was Wrong

Episode Date: July 2, 2023

I need to apologise to someone... and SOMEONE enjoys it VERY much. LOVE YA!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We are calling Jack who is in Bath in the UK. Jack's having a bath in the UK. Bath in the UK. Hello? Jack! Oh, it's so good to hear from you. Oh, what are you doing? Where are you? How are you? What's going on? I just got home after watching the Blair Witch Project for the first time. Oh my God, are you doing where are you how are you what's going on um i just got home after watching the blair witch project for the first time oh my god are you scared yeah how are you feeling oh we spent i watched it with my friends but we just spent most of the movie criticizing everything they did

uh actually today's episode we are talking about what we are late to and the fact that jack has gone and watched the blair witch Project in 2023 for the first time. That's a great call. That's going to beat all of us. Yeah, yeah. That's going to beat all of us. Let's get into that. But, Jack, will you approve today's episode?

Yeah, of course I will. Sweet. Woo-hoo! Hi, it's Jack from Bath in the UK, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. podcast. Alright, so we mentioned last week that Tony has only just discovered Black Mirror and loving it. Yeah? I do love it. Yeah, it's great. Bridget and I

have just started watching Breaking Bad. And it's incredible television, isn't it? Very good. And we asked people in the Facebook group what we relate to the party with. And I thought, oh, it might just be a few TV shows and stuff. That's what

I expected. Yeah, so I read through the comments and... I haven't read these. Strap yourselves in, folks. there's some fucking freaks living amongst us i don't know just oh not freaks i mean did you know that the blair witch project just came out last year i mean uh 20 years ago yeah uh i don't actually know if you're gonna how you're gonna react to this oh no sam has messaged through hi sam sam listens to the podcast i've just discovered wi-fi it's awesome says sam everyone used to give me shit about not having it i just didn't get it

but now that i do have it i can't imagine living without it tony's really upset about this and i don't mean to be rude, but sweetheart, what were you doing before? Yeah. I don't under, like, how could you live, like, not even just, like, in your house, right? Whatever, like. No internet at home. But, so that's fine.

Some people can't afford it, don't need it, whatever. But, like, when you were out and about and they've got, like, free Wi-Fi in a restaurant, were you just like, what's that about? Maybe no smartphone or something? Oh, well, he understood the, like, how it could be used in its convenience. But he was just like, just didn't have it. Sure.

So work would be like, did you see that email? He's like, well, no, because I don't have internet at my house. Sure. Yeah, I just can't believe that you could live without the internet these days. Because even the TV uses internet now. Lots of things. Yeah. Our washing machine.

Yeah, same. I always get a notification when Torbs is doing the washing at home. Yeah. Good to see he's doing something. Yeah. I can pull his fucking finger out. You know what I'm saying? Now that Sam started using it, he goes,

I don't know how I lived without it. Neither do we. Yeah. Good on you, it. Neither do we. Good on you, Sam. Welcome. Welcome. Danielle says, just this morning, my co-worker had an absolute breakdown when I showed her that she didn't need to staple all of the copies by hand

and that the photocopier could do it for her. So if you're doing big copies of whatever, you just press the collate button and it just does it. She's been doing it manually for years. And I'll never forget the look on her face, relief, regret, hilarity,

embarrassment, and tragedy all in one. And it was like a modern day Shakespeare. Fuck off. Could you imagine? Does it actually do that? Yeah? Does it actually do that? Yeah. Does it actually do that?

So say if you want to print something that's got 10 pages and you need a little book for everyone, 10 of us, you just go, yep, 10 copies, staple more. And so instead of just getting a wad of 100 bits of paper, it'll just... Or if you want to bound... What? I actually did not know that photocopiers could do that.

You know what the difference is though? What? You don't need to know that because you're not photocopying bundles of shit. No, I'm not. I'm emailing on the fucking Wi-Fi. Thank you. Danielle, the person she works with, does it daily and has for years and has been then picking them apart by hand and getting her stapler out

and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Yeah, that's right. Oh, it's a secret sound. You know what it was? You know what it was? What? She was wasting time. You reckon she knew what she was doing?

She fucking knew. Sorry, I'm at capacity. Weaponised incompetence. She goes, well, it will take me at least two hours to staple all the bundles together. Have you ever worked with someone who you go, oh, that'll take me, I'll need three days for that. And you go, no, it won't. Yes, I have.

Yeah. Yep. And do you reckon they're pieces of shit or they just didn't know of this hack? Maybe. I think some stuff is, because you don't know what you don't know. And I'm not like hanging shit on people for not knowing stuff. Do you know what gets me? The like Excel hacks on TikTok.

Yeah, so good. Whenever they share a thing and it's like, oh, did you know that if you put the this and the bling and the bling and the bling, I didn't say ding dong, but if you do X, Y, Z, that this will be easier. And I'm like, well, I'll never need to know that, but isn't that wonderful? And I save them all in case one day I want to go back to it. Yeah, I always save them.

Can we do a YouTube video where I just go through stuff you've saved? No. Can we do a YouTube video where I just go through stuff you've saved? Nah. Because of embarrassment? Like, what kind of embarrassment? There's just a lot of stuff in there. So you're like, oh, one day I might have to work in an accounting firm and do Excel spreadsheets. I'll save this.

Yeah. And I also, on Instagram, I save all of my friends' videos because it's good for the algorithm. So if I, like, follow a small business, I'll like, share, and save it. But then you go to your save stuff and there's just shit everywhere. But I don't use my save. I don't have, like. But you just said you'll save.

Oh, yeah. But I just save lots of stuff. But on TikTok, I save things that I'm like, I'll come back to that when I need a laugh or an Excel tip. What were you late to the party to? Leanne says, I've just discovered drinking water. Leanne, you need to lift. I hated it my entire life.

Couldn't even sip it. But now suddenly at age 32, I had a glass the other week just to give it a go. It's great. My body has this strange new energy. Leanne? Leanne? You know what that strange new energy is? Hydration.

Yeah? Yeah. Isn't it great? Imagine spending 32 years of your life feeling like you hadn't had water that day and drank three coffees. You know, you just feel like so like. Oh, and you feel like your pores are dry and you like you feel like yuck yeah i can't drink more than one coffee a day leanne says i feel like a motivational speaker but my body's chosen life you know i'm really happy for you

i are you sad for the previous 32 years yeah because i really in this is the most bland thing I could probably say. I really like water. I hear it and I get it. I'm going to sip it right now. But I actually really, because I remember asking my mum when I was a kid, fucking hell, I wish I'd asked her some more interesting stuff before she fucking died. But I remember asking my mum when I was a kid,

do you think that water tastes like nothing or do you think water tastes like water? That's a great question. Isn't it? And she was like, no that water tastes like nothing or do you think water tastes like water? It's a great question. Isn't it? And she was like, no, water tastes like water. And from then my perception of it changed. So you thought you were drinking nothing, but now you're like, nah, I'm drinking water. This is water.

Yeah. Because water, it's like see-through and like doesn't really have our taste. Yeah. But like then now I think about like, no, I'm enjoying this water. And if water is ice cold, I'll drink litres of it. That's why I've got this thermal bottle. Yeah, to keep it cold in the big Frank Green. Yeah.

Yeah, so Leanne, welcome to the party. Yeah, Leanne, proud of you, girlfriend. Lily, I never gave a fuck about border security until I heard y'all talking about it. Now I can't quit watching it. Very upset to hear that you didn't care about it before now, but very glad to have you on board. Did you hear, did you see the Mexican pharmacy one the other day?

No. Oh, my God. So in Mexico, there are obviously different rules about what you need a prescription for. And in Mexico, it's like there's no rules. You can do whatever you want. But the deal is if you bring it back to America, you need to have a prescription.

You need your prescription for it. So this dumb fucking girl, she rolls down to Mexico and just gets, yeah, I'll get the horse tranquilizer. I'll get the fucking this. I'll get the tramadol. Yeah, I'll get this, this, this. And rocks up with a suitcase. And the custom guy's like, you can't bring this in.

So he finds all this stuff and he's like, is there anything else that you want to tell us about? Is there any other medication at all in your bag? And then it was in the Hilary Duff karaoke machine. And she goes, nope, that's it. And he goes, great. Then he like shakes a t-shirt and the fucking tramadol falls out. And he goes, what about that?

And she goes, oh, it's for my back. And he's like, yeah. Where's your prescription? Great. Is there any more medication you need us to tell us about? She's like, nah, that's it. So he gets a pair of like socks or whatever

just shakes them out and out falls the horse tranquilizer and he's like well what about this she's like oh I get headaches and anyway the Mexican pharmacy lady and she fucking got got to

oh good good I like to see our front line doing their fucking best work on the TV Cameron Craig hi Cameron Craig I just started shopping on Amazon.

It's crazy. Did you know you can just go online, buy it, and it turns up the next day? It's good. It's real good. I didn't understand Amazon for a long time, just the same as I don't understand PayPal, and I won't hear a word about it.

I just don't get it. I know you won't hear about it. It's the same way that you don't want to hear about Apple Pay, even though it is very good. I'm coming around. I'm coming around. I didn't understand Amazon for a long time. And you know why I didn't want to use it?

Aside from the environmental impacts of Amazon. The app is so ugly. It is, isn't it? And then I asked Torbs about it, my boyfriend, the other day. I was like, why is their app – is it ugly on purpose? He was like, yes. So the is it ugly on purpose he was like yes so the idea of it is that like so you know how apple is like luxe and sleek and like the boxes are beautiful and you keep them for five years and then you go i don't need the laptop box i

don't even have the laptop anymore all of that shit he's like amazon like on purpose looks shit so people go oh the app looks crap so that my like the savings come to me yeah i didn't understand that and i was like fuck i'm such a marketer's wet dream except it made me not want to use it because i was like it looks like my stuff's gonna get not come to me is there something like let the product be the hero not the app that the product's in but then what's the random thing you've randomest thing you bought on amazon the last month oh um i recently bought a shakti mat you know those sharp mats yeah i haven't used it it's in the little thing because i'd stood on it and it really hurts i didn't use it funny that i am have a calf massager do you know i think that the shakti mat would actually maybe help my back

at the moment. Just go and lay down on it. I'm going to do that when I get home. What did you buy? A calf massager? Yeah. The one that I told you to buy? No, they didn't have that one.

But they had this thing and it's almost like a little booty sock thing. Oh, like the compression box thing. And then it goes. Oh, because you've been having sore feet at the moment. How's your podiatrist going? I see it in the calendar all the time. Yeah. We'll actually get to that in an episode this week because there've been having your sore feet at the moment. How's your podiatrist going? I see it in the calendar all the time. Yeah. We'll actually get to that in an episode this week because there's been some issues. Oh, okay.

Issues. S-H-O-E-S. That's good for me. Okay. Finally, Debra. Oh, take off Debra. I refused to get an air fryer for ages, but I finally gave in and now I won't shut the fuck up about it. I'm now the most cliche mid-30s millennials ever

and I spend all of my days only telling people about how good air fryers are. Yeah, I mean, air fryers can't be your personality, but it's better than friends. The TV show? Yeah. Or having friends? Both. Yeah. I've yet to meet a person whose personality is air fryers and has better than friends. The TV show? Yeah. Or having friends? Both. Yeah.

I've yet to meet a person whose personality is air fryers and has lots of friends. Yeah, that's a good point. Except for the guy on TikTok, the air fryer guy. And take my mum. Oh. She has friends and an air fryer. My mum doesn't have either. No.

That's okay. Yeah. But an air fryer, I think quite a good investment. But I think that air fryers, they're quite divisive, aren't they, sometimes? Because people are like, you're either an air fryer guy or you're fucking not. Yeah, and you're all in on air fryer? I'm not all in, but we use ours. It's really handy.

It's good for chips and hash browns and stuff because you don't need to add anything. Fuck, you're living good. What? I couldn't think of a time when... I think I have to get... Having a hash brown in the house? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck.

We'll just buy a bag of them. And then if we have our eggs on the weekend, we'll maybe just like pop one in the air fryer. That's fucking living right there. Is it? Oh, is that bad? It's nummies. Yeah. It's fucking.

Yeah. Change your life, mate. You got to be living for today. You got to be living for today. Debra gets it. And I've always said that. You have always said for today. Debra gets it. And I've always said that. You have always said that. And Debra gets it.

She gets it. Hey, it's Jack from Bath in the UK, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Taz Nicholas. Love to see it, Taz. Thanks, Taz. Amanda Van Voorhis.

Love your mans. Mansa? Amanza. Amanza. Oh, I need Amanda. Hug and kiss, you know, from The Simpsons. Kelly Kassar. Amanda Ostero.

And Lauren Buf. Thank you so much. Thanks, Bufy. Lauren, doesn't she sound beautiful? This Friday. Do we decide 9am or 10am? I think we said 10. 10am this Friday.

9am this Friday. Now that the hours are getting up there on the back end, should we start a bit earlier? Or an extra hour of sleep. Okay, so I'm in two minds about this because do you think it's going to be one of those things where we can't sleep the night before because we're, like, amped about it? And are we going to be waking up and, like, going, oh, can't start until 10?

Is it better to, like, get up and get going? Or is the extra sleep worth it? But are you going to actually sleep? You know what I mean? This Friday, 9am, the live stream kicks off. Traffic. Traffic. 907.

Can you imagine if I'm late to the live stream? I can't find anywhere to park my car. Are you driving there? No, actually, probably not. We've got an Airbnb, by the way. I'll get our tubs to park my car. Are you driving there? No, actually, probably not. We've got an Airbnb, by the way. I'll get our tubs to drop me off. It's a joke, a little inside joke. This Friday it begins.

Champion and exclusive tapas. Go to patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. I owe someone here a massive apology. And I will be administering that apology and saying my sorry um but first we just need to rewind a little bit i love an apology from tony because she fucking hates being wrong and i'm so pumped and this has like this apology has like compound interest because it's been going for a while. Really? Yeah. So for the past little while.

Sorry about that noise, by the way. I thought I was on triple M. For the past little while, my partner Torbs and I have been together for 10 years-ish. Doing it for 11 now? No, so I think we've been doing it for 10, together for nine maybe. We've been saving up to try and buy a house. Yep. And over the past few weekends, we've kind of been going out and looking at stuff on the weekend, like, you know, on a Saturday.

Because during the week, you kind of, all these pie-in-the-sky ideas come, like you see them on the app and you go, how wonderful. Oh, that's like maybe in our price range or that's whatever and then you go and you go we probably didn't need to come and do that on a saturday as in because it's both way too expensive or you go oh we can afford that then you rock up and you go oh now i know why that's not a study yeah that's a cupboard yeah and then you go okay i still can't afford it and it's still too small so we've had to widen our search quite a bit um so we're kind of going like north east south like

we're kind of doing like a big yeah round of the city yep not the city obviously yeah way out kind of like this massive like semi-circle it's a a donut. Yeah. The big gap in the middle. Yeah. So like we drive from Richmond north and then go all the way around to the bottom until we find another place we can afford something. But so we're kind of like very open ended looking at the moment. That's where you got to start. You start broad.

I think so. And because we obviously like it takes time to save up. So we're like, oh, we're not in a rush. Remember when you, me and Cam, the three of us went to that thing and the guy thought we were a throuple? They did think we were a throuple. Yeah. You could tell that he didn't know whether you and I, Ryan, were together or whether

you and Cam were together. I did lean into his suspicions of a throuple to sort of throw him a little bit. Because then you kind of put your arms around both of us in the main bedroom and went, perfect for us. Yeah, but I did start talking about like this would be our room, but that room would be our room and a bit of those ones. Yeah, because I think you've got to throw them off the scent. And I think that real estate agents, they meet a lot of people.

Keep it interesting for them. It's then a game for them as well. Who's doing who out of these three? It's like people watching but the people come to you. Should we create a YouTube video and it's called, of these three people which two are doing it? So a bit like siblings or dating?

Yeah. But there's three people and two of them are together and you don't know which. And you don't know their sexual preferences either? That's good. I reckon there would be tapas that would be up to be part of that video. Can't write that down. Normally it's me copying shit for saying can't write that down.

Now it's you. I'm glad. Anyway, so we've been driving around all these open houses. And very early on in the podcast, you were talking, Ryan, because you and your wife, Bridget, were looking for a really long time before you ended up buying Beyonce's Airbnb. Yeah. And I don't know if you remember that something happened while you were in an open house.

Where I needed to use the facilities. That you'd had a couple of coffees because you were killing time between things. Yeah, it's Saturday morning, get some brunch, get a coffee, then you're in an open home and you're like, fuck, could use the bathroom. Yeah. And we agreed wholeheartedly that it was a no. Did we?

Well, sorry. I think that we as a society have decided that it's a no. Sorry, I just actually need to warm up my vocal cords because I feel like I'm about to unleash one of the biggest go fuck yourself I told you so's of my life. I'd wait. I'd wait. So because we decided that that was a no,

I am standing in this open home with a lot of rich people around me. I'm not one of them. Potential homeowners. People that could actually afford the house we're in. And I'm like, Alex, I'm going to wean myself. Like I actually am about to wean myself. And he was like, why don't you just go? And I was like, no, no.

I have like stuck this to Ryan two years ago. I said that. I chose a hill to die on. Yep. And my kidneys might burst, but I said I would never do it. So there's a real. Yeah. So we're standing in this open home.

I'm like. Stubborn lodge. I'm like doing this. Like all of a sudden I've become like a fucking Irish dancer. Well, you wouldn't say a toddler and they're like literally holding their bit. And they're like, did you need to go to the bathroom? And they're like, oh, yeah, actually, thanks for reminding me. Yeah, but they know that they need to go, but they just, yeah.

Anyway, so we are standing in this open home. I'm fucking busting. Anyway, I'm like, yep, we can't fucking afford this house. Let's just go. We like run to the car, I'm like, yep, we can't fucking afford this house. Let's just go. We like run to the car and I'm like, what am I going to do? I need to find a public bathroom. Yep. Not only did I get really mad with you for going to the bathroom

in the open house. For not? No, not only did I get angry with you for going to the bathroom in the open house. Yep. Over the past couple of years, as we've gotten to know each other would you say that we have spent a lot of time in the car together and out in public fuck you yes yes yes we have we drove to sydney together because the flights were fucked we like couldn't afford the flights all this luggage was getting lost so we were like

let's just drive to sy. How bad could it be? So we did that. And we had to stop about 95 times in the first hour for Ryan to find a public fucking bathroom. It's a slight exaggeration. But I definitely did pee more than Tony that day. Because I just hold it. Because I don't like to be a nuisance. And not that I think you're a nuisance.

But every time you say, I go, mate, like really again, you go, yeah, I just like, I need to go. And I was like, all right, like,

well, we obviously have to pull over. You've got to go. After we had a coffee one time in Collingwood, I think with Cam. Yep. We were driving back to your place and I said, cannot we pull over to that service station?

And you gave me the biggest fucking mouthful. I did. You're a real dick about it. I was a dick about it because I was like, we just left a cafe. I'm a fucking adult and fucking hold it. I'm not pulling're a real dick about it. I was a dick about it because I was like, we just left a cafe. Can't you be a fucking adult and fucking hold it? Not pulling over a service station. Well, because I've never needed to.

I'm like, I can just hang on. Can you? No, I can't. And. So what'd you do? Be proven wrong or piss in my Audi? I realized very quickly that I needed to find somewhere to go to the bathroom. There was no way that I could go in an open home.

So we found a McDonald's. Yep, Macca's good. And not only, like, there's just this, like, beautiful serendipity that it is actually a Macca's that you have pulled over at with me to go to the bathroom. You know the one in Brunswick at that weird intersection where the trams all cross over? End of Ligon Street. No, I'll pee there many times.

Yep. So I pulled over at that Macca's, sprinted through the McDonald's, went to the toilet. Thank you so much to the McDonald's in Brunswick. Did you buy something? And then I had to walk out real casually and go, yes, maybe I will get a coffee. And then Alex, like Torbs looked at me and he was like, you're going to have to wee again. Don't do that.

And I was like, make it a bacon and egg McMuffin. You got a deal. So I got a bacon and egg McMuffin. I think Torbs got a deal. So I got a bacon and egg McMuffin. I think Tom's got a copy. And I was like, I have been such a bitch to you in the past about needing a public toilet. And finally, I was in a situation where I was going to be proven wrong either way. I was either going to wee in an open house or in a public toilet.

I was really in a rock and a hard place. So I would just like to say I'm really sorry for all the times that I've gone, when you've said, do you mind just pulling over up here? Because it wasn't nice feeling like I was going to wee my pants. It's not a nice feeling. It's my pants. It's not a nice feeling. It's not good. It's not a nice feeling. And I'd just like to formally apologize.

Thank you. And say I'm very sorry. Thank you. For being a dick. Yep. Well, finally, finally, stamp the time. New financial year, new Tony. This is actually very vindicating.

It would be. Would you say, because you're at the start of your home buying journey, that the McDonald's is maybe a gateway to maybe using an open house in the future? Oh, great question. The open homes that we've been going to are so busy. I actually don't even think you could go because there's that many people. People just coming through, yeah. Because when you're in an open home, people are flinging and flanging doors open like it's going out of fashion. You know, you're looking in pantries, linen cupboards.

I mean, if there's a two-way bathroom, forget about it. Oh, you wouldn't even dream. No. You actually wouldn't dream. Like, unless Torbs was going to stand guard at the toilet and pretend like he was looking at something and kind of be in the way, because people are quite polite. So I don't think that by...

If someone was standing at the toilet door with their arms folded, I think everyone else would get it. No, no, no, but if you... Yeah, I guess so. It would be quite funny. Like, he would be a door bitch. If you're kind of like, oh. Not no-shoe champ.

That sinks nice. I don't know. Like, what do you say to fucking open house? Do you know the other thing? I reckon there's just so much gear in this. Yeah. What do you wear to an open house? Do you look like shit to throw off the scent?

Or do you get dressed up so that people think you can afford the house? You know what I mean? Because I can't afford it. But I want people to. I want them to think that can afford the house? You know what I mean? Because I can't afford it. I want them to think that I can. You know, I get that. But just back to the toilets though. So we are going to the US late October and November. A whole month together in the car.

Yep. Dallas, Chicago, Toronto, Niagara Falls, New York, Philadelphia, Vegas, LA. Yep. Lot of travel. Lot of travel. Lot of travel. And I'm just glad you've had this moment. So when you four times a day go, fuck again. Yep.

You can just remember back to this moment and just go, oh no, it's not a nice feeling. I'll just. Yep. And I won't do it ever again. Like I won't ever roll my eyes. I promise. I promise.

Because it did not feel good. I can't believe I've actually never been in a situation where I needed the toilet so badly that I had to, like, pull over. Obviously, I've used public toilets, like, in the shopping centre or at a restaurant or whatever. I'm not saying, like, oh, I don't normally go to the toilet. I'm a lady. I don't need facilities. You know, but it's literally, like, I've never had to pull over somewhere normally go to the toilet. I'm a lady. I don't need facilities. But it's literally like I've never had to pull over somewhere and go to the toilet before.

And it was humbling. Yeah. Yeah. It brings you back down. And I really felt bad for all the times I've made you feel bad about it. So I genuinely wanted to say I'm so sorry. Thank you for apologizing. You're a, yep.

I know it's not in your regular lexicon vernacular. Fuck off. I am happy to apologize when it is required. Quick little shout out. Hamish and Andy, Australian Podcast Radio. Have you seen what they're doing at the moment? I saw this this morning after I was like, I'm going to talk about that today.

So they're making like a digital map, I guess, like a rolling map. So wherever you are, you can find out the nearest public toll. It's where you don't have to buy to use it. Yeah. See, I think I still would. Because you feel a bit guilty, don't you? You got guilted into it. But this is what I think with McDonald's in particular.

Even if I'm not buying right now, fuck, I'll put some money through you guys over the journey. That is a great point. Because like, are you a customer right now or are you just a customer? Like I am a McDonald's customer across the years. Yes. Doesn't mean I'm buying right now, but the amount of cash I've gone through you, I will take a piss. I probably could buy a house if I didn't spend all that money at McDonald's.

I've had Hamish and Andy making it. And where it says you don't have to buy anything. It's like the cheeky guide to people that need the toilet or something. I love that. I've got to love to see it here. Yep. The cricket's on in England. Yeah.

Which we've talked about, I think, because it's on through the night in Australia. Yeah. Because of the time difference. And the cricket, if you're not familiar, each day is like seven hours of play. It's not like a quick little game. I don't know how they do it. It's seven hours. So it kind of just rolls through the whole night,

and it's awesome, especially when you've got a baby that wakes up and you go, oh, I'll just watch the little videos. Oh, I hate this. Yeah. Now, it's usually on one of the, like, secondary channels. It's like Channel 9 Gem. Oh, yeah.

One of those sort of ones. And Jalissa, who is, I think she's a journalist in Sydney, she sent this tweet, and it's actually summed up my experience as well. Watching the cricket through the night has been a real experience. When I fall asleep, the cricket's on, but because it's on one of the secondary channels, when I wake up on the couch, it's like Jesus preaching some verses and stuff. Some old lady selling me an ab swing.

You know those real like little. And you kind of wake up and go, what was I doing? Yeah, what happened here? And it's literally the second the cricket finished going, and thank you for watching today's play. And then it just cuts to like, do you need to lose 75 pounds in an hour? Drink this shake and do this. And it just like turns into infomercials immediately.

And there's just this moment of like, hang on, when did this happen? Like super jarring. Because you're like, hang on, when did this happen? Like super jarring. Because you're like, hang on, I was watching the beautiful cricket. Yeah, I was at this beautiful old ground in London. And welcome to the gentleman's sport of lords. And now we cross to the abswing guy. And it's just the best. So thank you for bringing that to my attention.

That's awesome. Rachel Ray in our Facebook group. Actually, no, sorry, our Patreon. Rachel said, is this where I submit something for Start the Fucking Blog? Yes. Sure is.

Fucking send it through. Who knows, but I wanted to share mine. I'm a single person. I just turned 30 and I've always wanted kids and I've recently signed up with an adoption agency to adopt. Whoa.

I'm so stoked and I have wonderful family support. That's awesome. So, Rachel, congratulations. That's sick. That's really cool and good on you for like... I'm guessing it's a big process now. Oh, would be.

Yeah. Because I think people are a lot more open. Like there's not a stigma attached to adoption that maybe there was like back in the day. But back in the day, it also depends where they are, but like a lot of unwanted babies aren't born in the first place. Yeah. So there's not as many like up for grabs. I am available.

No, you're not. No? Your mum's wonderful. Okay, she is. Your mum is actually wonderful. I asked her the other day if she would adopt me and she said no. When you guys were both my mum, something happened when we were talking about?

I think maybe she said that she'd like sent you something. I think she was like, oh, I organised that for Ryan the other day and I was like, fuck, like how could that happen to mum? What was it? No, I can't remember that bit because she's adopted that dog Kenny. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

And Kenny's a bit of a rat bag. Yeah, that's right. Within the family he's been named Kenneth the Meneth. That's very funny. Mum actually called him a terrorist

at one stage because he disturbs the peace. And mum said, well, when you adopt something, you never quite know what you're going to get.

Yeah. Sometimes they're very good, sometimes they're very shit. Yeah. Both of those have been shit. Poor Mandy. Anyway, Rachel, congratulations on beginning that journey. That's awesome.

I hope you get the pick of the litter and you don't get the Kenneth. You don't get the rhymes with runt. Which would be Ryan. Because you know the runt of the litter would be the last one that would be picked. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That was a funny joke. That was a funny joke. Okay. Tomorrow on the show one that would be picked. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like that was a funny joke. That was a funny joke.

Okay. Tomorrow on the show. Work on my gear for tomorrow. People have been submitting their confessions at tonyandryan.com.au. These are top confessions. Should I read the headline of the first one? Yeah, hook us through. I fly kicked a toddler and it was the correct thing to do.

And everyone will agree with me. That's what a tarp has said. She said, when you hear the circumstances, you will agree it was the correct thing to do. And everyone will agree with me. That's what a tarp has said. She said, when you hear the circumstances, you will agree it was the right thing to do. Well, if tomorrow there's no confession, it's because we've had to cut it out for legal reasons. Or if this is the last ever episode, you know that. If we're not back tomorrow, you know why.

You know that went to air for a few minutes. And then got shut the fuck down. And then there's just the Ab Swing commercial on his desk. A full set of encyclopedias. Chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.