Toni and Ryan - Toni and Ryan on KISS CAM

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. Now, we're about to call Ashlyn from Perth. And remember I told you- God's country. God's country. Remember I told you- Dry hate. About the heat is so dry.

Yeah. Ashlyn is struggling probably. I would assume so. Send her some water. Do you remember that time when I went to the music festival and this girl was like, can I come back to your house to charge my phone? And I didn't get that she was- Yep. So, her name was Ashlyn and she was from Perth. Call the number. Though there are a few Ashlyns in Perth.

Yeah, I mean, probably. I think it was a common name in the 90s. Yeah. It's early there. Three hours time difference at the moment. Shit, it is too. Hello? Ashlyn.

Ashlyn, it's Tony and Ryan. Hello. We just realised with Daylight Savings that it's really early. It's like 5.30 for you. Well, Ashlyn, we do actually have a bit of a personal question for you that we hope we can answer. I'm embarrassed now. Ryan's wondering if you're the girl, Ashlyn, from Perth,

who borrowed his phone charger and maybe did want to try and have sex with him but he went to bed instead. Was that you? I don't think so. You'd remember. You'd remember. No, it's good. That's actually good news, Ashlyn.

It's good for you. It's great for you. Okay, now we've got that out of the way. Ashlyn, will you approve today's episode? Yes, of course I will. Thank you. And please forgive us. Sorry about everything, really.

Hi, Ashlyn from Perth and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, we are talking about Kiss Cam. Australia's favourite activity. So, when Australians think of American sport, we just think of Kiss Cam. Australia's favourite activity. So when Australians think of American sport, we just think of Kiss Cam. I don't know if Americans know this, but we just assume you're just all macking each other all the time. Yeah, I just literally think about the... Because that happens while there's like a...

Is that mid-game or is that when... I think it must be during a timeout or three-quarter time. Yeah, okay. So if there's like a fault and they're doing the thing and they go, oh, we keep everyone entertained or whatever. So, I'm just imagining that that just happens all the time. I've never watched a game of basketball personally or a game of baseball or anything like that.

So, I'm just assuming like what are they up to? People are just macking. Is basketball the easiest sport ever because it's just like all these timeouts all the time? Yeah, absolutely. So, Tony and I are going to the – all three of us us going to the basketball in a week or so in New York. And. Fucking pumped.

There's one little issue about us getting it on in the kiss cam. And that's the fact that we're both in relationships. Yeah. And our partners. Like actually good ones. Yeah. So, it's not as if we're like, oh, thank fuck. It's like, oh.

Yeah, he's an out. Yeah. So. Been waiting for an excuse. Our partners won't be at the basketball. Tony and I will be. We both want to be on Kiss Cam. So obviously there's some negotiating that has to take place. Yeah.

We'll get to that soon. But first, normal or nah? My favourite time of the week. I've tried to endorse it happening twice a week, but still on the fence about that. I think each year we re-evaluate. Re-evaluate. Re-evaluate. Oh, we're close.

Yeah, because about this time last year we were like, oh, do the movie raps need to stay? Yeah. Yeah. We don't talk about those. But thank you for submitting your normal and ask to the Tony and Ryan Facebook page. Seth asks.

Hi, Seth. Normal or nah? Liking someone's Instagram post then wondering, do I also need to like the same post on Facebook? It gives me so much stress. And I usually like them both because I'm afraid of making my friends angry, even though they've spent their entire lives loving me. Or is it a bit too much? It's like, oh, mate, you already like that.

Didn't you already like it over there? I had this meltdown actually just the other day because a guy I went to uni with got engaged. Oh, congratulations. To his partner Albert in Sicily. So, they're away on holiday like visiting their Italian family. Is he getting married over there and do you need a plus one? I'll ask him.

Thank you. I'll ask him. So, Ben and Albert, they've been together for like as long as Torbs and I have been together. Wow. And so, them getting engaged is just, like, really exciting because they've really built a life together. They actually live in Kew.

So, not far, like, from us in Melbourne. Please be in Sicily. Yeah. Please don't be in Kew. Yeah. If I'm invited, which I don't think I will be, but. You're a fringe friend. Definitely a fringe friend.

But, like, we got along really well at uni. We still, like, chat and like each other's shit on Instagram, whatever. And the other day. And engagement post is always, that's where the likes come from then. Oh, they do. It fucks your engagement for the rest of the year. Yeah, it really does. Because you go, oh, God.

And I mean engagement, like, statistically. Not like, oh, the first day was great and now no one cares anymore. Now I dumped him. Yeah. Anyway, so the two of them got engaged. But because we have so many mutual friends because of uni, it got pushed to the top of my algorithm in Facebook and on Instagram. And so I see it on Facebook first and I, like, do the long hold

and do a love react, not even just a like because I was like, that is so exciting, so happy for you guys. And then I open Instagram and I'm going, oh, fuck. I mean, likes are free, but am I coming across too strong? Yeah, or what if someone else clicks it to see who likes it and they go, oh, Tony doesn't even like it. Have they got beef or something? Yeah, is something going on?

Are they not friends anymore? Is she jealous? Has she really changed? She has changed. Yeah. She has changed. No, I'm still lovely. Anyway, so, and I double clicked and I went, fuck.

Who am I? And I felt so embarrassed. But why is it so embarrassing? Seth said, I spend so much time thinking about how stupid it is to extra like the same thing because I really don't have that much enthusiasm for anything in life. Oh, that's sad, Seth. We could chat about that off air if you like, Seth. You roll into my DMs, babe. You sound like you need a friend. Also true, though. But yeah, I mean...

I wish that I loved anything in my life that I do that I would like something twice. Question about the engagement thing. Say that I saw... So, Ben and Albert, right? Say I see Ben and I go, oh my god, congratulations. If I see Albert, right? Say I see Ben and I go, oh, my God, congratulations. If I see Albert, do I also have to say to him congratulations? Absolutely. But, like, is that not just two likes? No, they're separate people.

Just because they're marrying doesn't mean they're losing their own identity, Tony. That's true. That is true. But you know what I mean? You kind of go, is that the double like? Ben goes, yeah, I saw Tony the other day. She said, congratulations. Albert goes, I saw her too. And she said it to me as well.

Okay. Is that too much? Here's where we need to discuss. Okay. So. What if both of them post on both platforms? That's four. Four?

I've just held up eight fingers because I did two fours. Yeah. Then what? Then do you like Albert, Albert, Ben, Ben? Surely they're doing a collab post. Oh, because you can do that now. And then Albert started a YouTube channel. Well, their dog, I think, has an Instagram.

These are like, my dad's engaged. Do I have to like that as well? So there's this trend on TikTok and Instagram at the moment that I'm loving, and it's like I love the fact that boys don't ask questions. And so, the trend is like the guy comes home and the girl goes, oh, how was your day? And he goes, oh, I caught up with Steve. Steve and Amy broke up. And the wife goes, oh, what happens?

And he goes, I don't know. How are they coping? I don't know. I didn't ask. Like what? You didn't say what happened? You just went, no, You just went Nah I spent That sucks man

Anyway how about How about them Hawks Jack Ginnivan's on board So the night before We left for the US Yeah Torb's and I Were lying in bed together

Yep No funny business We were just laying there Chatting Going like I'm really gonna miss you mate Like whatever And then

I go Oh like What are you gonna do While I'm away Yeah And he goes Oh I'll probably like like, play video games online with the boys and stuff like that.

And I was like, oh, great. Order a bunch of Nando's. Yeah, you know, like, we're talking about what he's going to do. And then he goes, yeah, I actually was playing games with a mate the other night. And I went, oh, yeah, like a week ago, right? Yeah. And I go, oh, yeah, yeah, like, how sick.

And he goes, oh, yeah, like, such and such broke up. And I went, what? And he goes, yeah, six and such broke up and i went what and he goes yeah six months ago and i was like what what do boys talk about and i went oh what happened he goes oh i didn't ask yeah and i was like what and then he goes yeah so then um and i was chatting to another mate and he goes oh yeah xyz happened yada Y, Z happened, yada, yada. And I was like, no, no yada, yada. The yada, yada is where the good shit is. I need the yada, yada.

I live for the yada, yada. The yada, yada is the nectar of life. I need the yada, yada. Why are you asking about the yada, yada? Boys are so stupid. So, who was engaged? Ben and Albert. Ben and Albert.

So, this is, so when you say, so when Ben and Albert are discussing that you ran into Tony, they're not. Because two boys.

Yeah. God, they probably don't even talk to each other. No wonder they're still together. They've never met. They've actually never met. He didn't even ask him to marry him.

He just went. Yeah. And I don't want to go into like the daily debrief phenomenon. Okay. But when you go, oh, so yeah, I ran into Tony like that. That doesn't happen. Yeah. So when you go, oh, what would happen in that conversation?

It doesn't. You know what? I just need to think about stuff less. Seth, normal, but let's happen. Yeah. So, when you go, oh, what would happen in that conversation? It doesn't. You know what? I just need to think about stuff less. Seth, normal, but let's stop. Yeah. You should be a therapist because I think telling someone with anxiety, oh, just think about less is like really great advice. It is.

Just calm down. Ryan Conway asked, normal or nah? Hey, Ryan. Getting frustrated and upset when I'm at a store and I can't find something, but then when an employee comes over and offers to help, you just go, all good. Is it really normal that I really do need help, but I also really don't want to bother anyone?

Normal. But fucking stupid. The thing for, I think my problem is that I do the same thing, but they walk over and go, can I help you? And I go, no, no, no, all good. And I just Google it at another shop. I'm like, I know better than you. I'll just solve my own problem.

When they know better than me, they could call the other store and they go, oh, we'll get it in for you. It'll be here tomorrow. Or like, oh, they've put it aside for you. There's one out the back. But instead of bothering anyone, I just go, oh, I'll just see if they've got it at the Spotlight Six Suburbs over. Like, why am I such a fuckhead?

It might just be on that shelf, not that one. Yeah. But you know how sometimes when you go, oh, I'm actually just looking for this really niche thing and they go, oh, I don't know. And you go, why the fuck can work it? for this really niche thing. And they go, I don't know. And you go, why don't you fucking work it? Take your badge and spit on it and go outside. Because you don't even know what you're doing.

Sorry, I got so fired up before that now it's just. You're all yarded. I'm yarded up. Yeah. Yard up. Yeah. Instead of barred up. But, you know, like then then you do, sometimes you,

it's like you put yourself out there in dating. Yeah. Sometimes you put yourself out there and you go, I will let you help me. And they go, well, I don't know. And you go, well, this is why I normally just Google. I would love to see you in this mood. This mood sounds like a negative thing, but you're revved up and I love it.

And then someone goes, can I help you? And you're like, well, can you? Yeah. Let me flip that on someone goes, can I help you? And you're like, well, can you? Yeah. Let me flip that on its head. Can you help me? Can you actually help me? Are you telling me that you can? Because I'm going to take that to the grave.

I would love for you to help me. I would love for you to help me, Stephanie. Thank you so much. Hey, it's Ashlyn from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Todd Kubicki. Thank you so much, Todd. Is Todd from Dallas?

Because we'll see him tonight. Oh, I don't know. Five o'clock, Cloud Warren Park. Don't have the location information here. I'm so sorry. I've really dropped the ball. Venita. Oh, she's from Dallas? Dallas, yeah.

See you tonight, Cloud Warren Park. See you at Cloud Warren Park. Anya Lang. Not from Dallas, apparently. See you in Chicago, though, Anya. Travis Pancake. Oh, we'll be eating in New York. And Suzanne.

Don't know where Suzanne's based. No. Melbourne. Melbourne, great. See you when we get home. I don't know if Americans know this about American sport, but the rest of the world just sees American sport and goes, oh, how good's Kiss Cam?

That's what we know about American sport. That's all we know. I think I also assume that everybody goes and watches sport like every night yeah because every movie and american movie and american tv show has told me that they're just like out watching like everyone's got tickets to the game tonight yeah like every episode oh we've got a spare ticket. You want to come? They're just always watching sport. Every Matthew McConaughey movie. Is it How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

The Knicks are in the finals or whatever. Yeah, but they both have tickets to every single game and they're like really good. Yeah. So I'm just imagining every single Tom, Dick and Harry in America is courtside at the basketball every night. It must be a big fucking court because they're all there. They're all courtside.

There's one row. Yeah, and it goes all the way around. Now, I'm not like a big PDA person. Wow, you're starting this in a really unexpected way, sure. What does PDA have to do with – oh, the kiss camp. Sorry. God, I love the basketball. Is it more expected now?

Yeah. I love basketball. This is really unexpected. I like the basketball, but I don't like PDA. I don't love PDA necessarily, but for Kiss Cam, I just want to do it once. I want to be on Kiss Cam. It does feel like a bucket list item. Yeah.

And I would love to elope. When Torbs and I get married, I would love to elope purely because I don't want to kiss him in front of my family and friends. Yeah, gross. Like, how embarrassing. If I ever saw you on Torbs Kiss, I'd be like, oh, gross. Or they go like, you may now kiss the bride. I go, no. Don't look at me.

Like a primary school kid when you have, like, a boyfriend for the day or whatever. And the priest guy's like, oh, you're married. Like, you're allowed to. And you're like, don't tell me that today. I go, no, we just met. I don't really, I don't feel comfortable. We'll see how it goes. Yeah.

So, let's call my wife, Bridget. What are you asking? Hello. Bridget, it's Tony and Ryan. You may know us from the people, one of us is your husband. And I come over sometimes, Bridget, you might remember and Ryan. You may know us from the people. One of us is your husband. And I come over sometimes, Bridget. You might remember me as well. Yeah, I've got Auntie Totty.

Oh, that's so nice of you, Bridget. How are you feeling, my love? How are you going? A bit better today. Thank you very much for asking. That's good. Now, do you remember, you know, like if we went to the basketball, there's kind of like one thing I'd love to do.

Yeah. A hot dog. Have a hot dog. What is it, Bridge? Bridge knows me. We're married. You want to be on the stupid kiss cam thing? Yeah, you do.

I love how well she knows you. That's very sweet. Yeah, she does know you. Now, Bridge, my love, the thing about that is, is that we've got tickets to the basketball, but it's when I'm with Tony in New York and not with you in LA. Okay. So how do you feel about the fact that Tony and I won't be with our respective partners,

but it might just be the two of us who get put on Kiss Cam? I feel like you'd have to ask Tony. She's like, let Tony say no. Is that a soft yes from your end? No, but I'm like, I mean, that's such a weird request. But what Bridget's really saying is I've never requested weirder from Bridget. So does everyone know that? Oh, that's true.

The line is you've set like a threshold. You've set the boundary. Yeah. So I'm putting that as a – Yeah, so is that if I say yes, we're all good to go, because that's what I'm hearing. Yeah, sure. I was not expecting that.

Bad luck, Tony. What kind of kiss, Bridget? Because we want to go viral. How much tongue is allowed, I guess, is what we're saying well if you've only just but you could do like a um you know like a movie kiss you know like a fake a fakey oh what kind of movies is my wife watching we've done the real one before like i mean i was just one more time yeah okay um not what i was expecting. Me either. And now I feel like if Bridget's a yes and I'm a yes and Ryan's a yes. It all comes down to Torbs.

We haven't called him yet. We haven't called him yet, Bridge. To be honest, I thought that the call to you would mean, would render calling Torbs useless. Yeah, same. I told him not to even have his phone on. What do you reckon Torbs would say? I actually, I don't know.

I really don't know. Is it almost offensive that I think he would go, yeah, whatever? Does he love you or not? I think it is one of those things where you go, there is obvious, so obviously nothing going on that it means it's fine. Whereas if there was ever a thing of like, oh, there's a bit of sexual tension there, you'd go, well, absolutely not. Fucking way to shut a guy down in person.

No. Mate, I said you can kiss me. I think that's pretty good. Well, Bridge, thanks for being. No thanks from me, Bridget. We're about to call Torbs and I'll let you know the outcome. Yeah. Or you'll see it online.

Yes. Love you. Love you. Love you. Bye. I love your third now. Sorry? I'm like yours and Bridget's third. If you want.

Don't threaten me with a good time. Fuck, I did. I thought she was going to say no fucking hands down. Son, a hard no. God, she's not threatened by me at all. I really don't know how to take it. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh, she's going to say no because, you know,

oh, like, Bridget, there's nothing going on. Like, it's all good, you know. But she's like, yeah, kiss that ugly bitch. Yeah, fucking go for it. She's not going to leave me for you. Cam, let's call Torbs, Tony's boyfriend. Hello? Oh, hey, mate. It's Moody.

Oh, hello. It's Tony and Ryan from the people who live at your house. Hi, Torbs. Hi, Ryan. Love you. Hi, Tony. Hi, Tony and Ryan. remember that time i bought your flowers a few weeks ago yeah yeah cool um so we'll actually um calling on on work business you're on

the podcast um okay as you know um ryan and i are currently in the us um we've got our tickets to go and see the Knicks play basketball. As you know, one of my lifelong dreams is to have the attention on me. And we're just wondering if the kiss cam at the basketball lands on us. Yeah. Because obviously Ryan and I will be seated next to each other. Feels like it would be a missed opportunity to let that, you know, bucket list opportunity slip through our fingers. That's our fingers.

Okay, yep. Sounding good. Would it be okay if Ryan kissed me on the kiss cam? No, we kissed each other. Yeah, we kissed each other, consensually. Okay. Can I have a greater lay of the land? Who is sitting on the other sides of you two?

No, but usually on Kiss Camera it just shows you two people. It just shows you two, but are you asking about the options? Are you saying if there's Tony sitting there and there's I'm on one side and literally any other human being alive is on the other side? Comedy from Dorf's. Yeah, look, you do what you got to do, but I wouldn't do that. Don't shit where you're at. But you know how sometimes actors have to kiss their co-stars?

Would it be? It's just for work. Like, oh, what did you do at work tonight? I just kissed Stinky Ryan, you know how sometimes actors have to kiss their co-stars? Would it be? It's just for work. Like, oh, what did you do at work today? I just kissed Stinky Ryan, you know? Are you kissing Stinky Ryan at work today? That is a good point. Well, how many basketball games do we need to go to? How many dollars do I need to slip the webcam guy?

The webcam kiss cam guy. Webcam guy. That's a different thing. Yowza. It's a soft no. Hey, Tom, just out of curiosity, what do you reckon Bridget would say? I reckon it should be a hard no.

That's what we thought. That's what we thought. See, we didn't think we'd have to call you at all, but she said yes. She said yes. Yeah. Because she's not threatened by me at all. It's very clear that you're threatened by Ryan though. So, don't know what that says about our relationship.

Stop it. Not good on the home front. See you in a month, babe. That's fine. See you in Hawaii, dog. Please come to the airport still. Please still meet me in Hawaii. The fact that you even asked Torbs that proves that you don't really like him that much.

Fuck off. You've already asked your wife. I think that it sounded like a yes from Torbz. I don't think so. Torbz, is it confirmed? No. Oh. No, that's a no from me.

Okay. Okay. Oh, thanks. That's actually really sweet. Don't you think that's actually a bit sweet? Your wife doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't give a fuck. I'm actually dirty on bridge for being so cool with it.

I'm not because I wonder how far we can push her. New car. I'm just going to sit next to Cam then. Well, love you, mate, so much. Love you, mate. Miss you, sick and dead. And don't look at the internet for a while, just in case. Okay.

Okay. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you, bye. All right, I'm going to love to see it here from Carissa, who is an American who's been playing. Is this Carissa Casella?

It's Carissa K. Oh. Is that Carissa Casella? I don't think Casella starts with a K. I think it starts with a C. Okay. Sorry, Carissa Casella, for bringing you into this when it wasn't necessary. Well, Carissa is an American who's playing D&D, which is Dungeons & Dragons, with her siblings.

And they're rolling out new characters. Must be that time of year or that time of season. You're saying rolling out new characters is quite funny because it's like a big, like, roll is like a big word in the D&D community because there's like a 20-sided dice. Right. So it used to be this way that you could play Dungeons & Dragons online and the website was called, like, Roll20. Right. Because it was like, instead of like 420, it was like like, instead of, like, 420, it was, like...

Anyway. Cool. I also don't know if it's a 20-sided dice. Can you confirm that, Cam? Is it 20? 20-sided dice. Nice. Okay, after you.

How do they work? No, no, actually, no, don't. I don't have... No. They've got, like, tiny sides. It's like a Scattergreeze dice. It's like a golf ball. You know when you play Scattergreeze

and it's got, like, the alphabet dice? It's not really a games guy. It's like a dodecahedron, but times two. Or whatever it is. Do-twe-ca-hedron. A double dodecahedron. A deca-ba-da-da. You just roll both.

We're rolling out new characters and I decided to give mine... Rolling out. Sorry, that's really... That's got me again. We're doing new characters and I decided to give mine an Aussie twist. Oh! So in order to practice an accent, I found your podcast and started listening to it. So she's Googled Aussie podcast.

That's hilarious. Good work, SEO team. Yeah. Yeah, push off to the top, bitch. So anyway, at 6 a.m. this morning, I'm listening in the kitchen as I'm like getting ready for the day. And the episode is just finishing. So my husband walks into the kitchen. He's, you know, just woken up and he hears Ryan say, anyway, next episode won't be as horny as the last few.

And my husband goes, what is this? Bluey for adults? I love that. I love that. So the rest of the world kind of associates. They go, oh, Australian accent. Bluey. Especially if you've got kids because you go,

my kids will not stop talking about Bluey. So, Carissa, you love to say that, mate. Thank you so much for sharing that story. And all the best with your Aussie accent. Do I want to hear it? Do I want to hear it? I actually don't know. But I'm bad at accents, so no hard feelings if we do hear it.

Imagine if you got on her case. Tony starts judging me. Oh, no, no, no. I definitely can't. Carissa, your thoughts are safe with me, honestly, because I'm never going to take the piss out of you. My love to see is a bit of a personal one. You okay, mate? Yeah, I'm all good. You okay, hun? Yeah, my boyfriend Torb's got his driver's license. You're fucking kidding me. I'm not. Are you joking? Nah. Just in time for you driver's license. You're fucking kidding me. I'm not. Are you joking? No. Just in time for you to not be driven anywhere.

The day we leave the country. Mate. And there's more to come tomorrow. We can talk about it tomorrow. I'm hooking you right through. That's huge. Massive. Absolutely massive. If he's doing this purely so he can move house for me.

Can I ask all the questions that I need to ask now? If you want, but I mean we're talking about it tomorrow I just have one question What is it? Considering he's new to driving Is he allowed to drive the Audi? Let's save it Fucking what a day

The answer coming tomorrow Is that what he, when we called him earlier Was he He texted me, he was like Oh I thought it was about me getting my license. I was like, tickets, mate. You've had it less than 24 hours. That's huge. Massive.

Yeah. Are you like really proud of him? I'm so proud. Yeah. It's hard to do new things as an adult. Yeah. Has he just been doing, I'll ask tomorrow. I'll ask tomorrow.

Yeah, but. See you in Dallas tonight, baby. Yeah, Tobs is driving us whoo he's driving from from melbourne to richmond to dallas uh see you tonight at five o'clock and we'll chat to you tomorrow on the pod bye