Toni and Ryan - Toni and Ryan's Blind Date

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

NOOOOOORRRRMAL or NAH! And a BLIND DATE!!! Love you xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonjour Canada! This episode is brought to you by Oxio, the Canadian internet provider that finally feels like home. And Ryan, you know that feeling when you get home, you take your shoes and socks off, take your bra off, and like, for you it's your house clothes, but for me it's my nightie? Yeah, I mean your nightie's house clothes. But I put my nightie on and... Well it is pure bliss, isn't it? Well, with Oxio, your internet can feel like home too. It actually already does.

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Thank you. Their support team is actually helpful and they're 100% online so you'll never be put on hold. You can message them from your couch, from your butt groove or the bathtub anywhere, no judgment, they'll fix it for you. From the bath, that's alright, that's a bit of me. Try Oxio for 60 days and if it doesn't feel like home, they'll give you all your money back, all of it, literally every cent. Yep, head to oxio.ca. So O-X-I-O.C-A and use the code TARP. T-A-R-P and get one month free. Hello. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

I'm Tony. This is Ryan. And we never start an episode of the Tony and Ryan podcast without a Tony and Ryan approver. Yep. A TARP. That's a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now Eric is in New York. We will be heading to New York shortly. But Eric, where's the first place you ever got a drink in New York? It would have been the Village Idiot Pub. Oh. You were like, well, I know where I'm gonna go.

I know my people. Or, yeah, I was gonna say, or are you just recommending that to Ryan because you think maybe there's something that's coming there. Do you recommend we go there? I definitely would. I mean, it was a great place.

There's always great music that's there and they're pretty quick with their service too. Oh, very. Well, they'll be getting a tip, not that I can figure out what that percentage would be. Yeah, don't ask Tony how much. That's great advice. Eric, will you approve today's podcast?

I would definitely approve today's podcast. Sweet. Hey, it's Eric from Long Island, New York and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking news at Tony and Ryan Tower. Oh, top tower. Um, Tony and Ryan podcast tower is the full name.

Tonyandryan.com.au tower. I don't know whether the biggest news is that Tony had a blood nose this morning, or if the big news is that she described it as vintage. But either way, lots happening. Either way, huge headline. Yeah. If someone said to you, I went to a vintage shop, what would you expect to see in there? Because I would expect to see Tony Lodge sitting on the ground with a blood nose.

I just think I'm like- And walking in and you go, can you believe it? Can you believe it? I'll take two of us. Are they still available for sale? You know when you go into a vintage shop sometimes and they've got like a beautiful lounge set and then you go, oh my God, that's stunning. Like how beautiful, but then it's like got a tiny sticker

on it and it's like not for sale. That's just like a couch for the store. Yeah, but like it's always beautiful and like fits the aesthetic. You're like, oh my God, that's beautiful. And then it's like, oh no, that one's not for sale. I'm like, well, don't put it in a shop then. If I can't buy it, get it out.

Well, first of all, we're going to different vintage stores by the sound of it, because mine are just, there's just boxes on the ground and it's just a fight. There's no, there's no seeding. Are you thinking of an op shop? Cause an op shop and a vintage shop is not the same thing. So sorry. I'll give you a second. Wow. I'll give you a second. Wow. I'll give you a second. But it's not like

the same. But you can buy vintage stuff from an op shop. Totally. But you can't buy an op shop from a vintage. So true. Yeah. You can't buy opportunity from a vintage shop. Yeah. And when you say that you can't buy the couch, you just haven't offered enough. I've never rolled in with Ryan John Dunn and gone, I'll give you whatever you want. Hey, we bought our couches from a vintage shop. Like a reclaimed furniture thing. Yeah. No, no, no. The other ones. They were the seats at the Fenton and Fenton sale. And I

was like, no, we'll take those. Okay. Well that, oh yes, you did do that. Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't make them vintage though. No, but I- I don't think you know what vintage means. I'm just disputing that when you see something in a store that it's not for sale, it just means you didn't have the right attitude. That is beautiful.

Yeah. And I encourage everyone to go out there and get it today. Yeah, and I FaceTime Tony from this warehouse years ago and I'm like, see these couches and Tony goes, they're so fucking ugly. I love them. That is exactly what happened. Now they're ours. And they are beautiful. I love them. And they're so comfy. They are. They really are. Let's do normal on now. Beautiful.

This is from Stu. Hi Stu. More of a thick soup, isn't it? That's from Mrs. Doubtfire. I've been driving the same car for five years. Filled it with petrol hundreds of times. That's like not that long. That's like not that long. I don't think that's the normal owner. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I'm in. There you go. I don't mind. It's great context for when I read the normal owner. Yeah, so true. Yeah, I'm just kind of excited.

Normal. Should I start from the start? Yeah, sorry. And then we'll comment on your comment and then we'll get to the normal owner. No, so true, yep. I've been driving the same car for what? I've been driving the same car for five years

Filled it with petrol hundreds of times yet every time I drive into the petrol station I still panic about what side the Bowser is on Stu asks is this bit and not the other bit normal or nah? It's normal. Every time, luckily the car, you know how it has, you know that hack that went goes viral every two years or whatever? I only learned that probably 18 months ago. No, you've learned it again 18 months ago.

No, I swear to God because- there's an arrow that tells you what side it's on. Yeah, but that goes viral. It goes viral every so often and everyone's reminded that that's a thing. But yeah, I have to check that every single time I drive into the servo. But five years isn't, is pretty normal for a car that way. Well, yeah. Do you see how that's like good information to know? No, absolutely. I just bought a new car yesterday and I didn't know what side the thing was on. That's probably normal as well.

Yeah. Sorry. Did I tell you about the girl with the Skoda? The girl with the Skoda? Your wife? My wife. No, so I... Is this a nice thing to do? I was driving Bridget's car and it was... And I realized that it didn't have much petrol in it. So then after everyone was going to bed, Mabel's put down, I was like, oh, I'll sneak out with

Bridget's car and fill it up. So then she's good to go in the morning. That's really sweet. Yeah. Thank you. That's really sweet. That's very thoughtful. And they had a sale on and on free Golden Gate Times with petrol.

Yeah, they have that a lot in research. Yeah, just the BP and the main road there. So I went to the BP, filled up, get inside, get the Golden Gate Times. It would actually be rude not to. Like going into a service station and not getting a little fun treat is just like... You know where I'm at though with the BP on main road in Eltham? Is that when I go there, the lady... They don't have a car wash?

No, they do. Oh, good. That's what I went to. Oh. They go... Oh, and like, I'm kind of like, they're like the usual. Like, I don't know if I like that I'm the guy that comes and gets a Golden Gate times every night.

Every night? Yeah. How often do you buy fuel? Yeah, pretty often. You're just like doing laps to like run the car down. Every night? Every night. Yeah. How often do you buy fuel? Yeah, pretty often. You're just like doing laps to like run the car down. So she goes, beep, beep, yep, what number? And I look out the window and see the scooter and go, oh yeah, great.

And she goes, yep, that'll be 35 bucks. And I went, that's not right. I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. And it turns out, and I sort of went to pay and then the girl behind me, it turns out, and I sort of went to pay, and then the girl behind me, turns out she also has a Skoda, and she's just chucked 20 bucks in

on the way to work or something. Yep, nice. But I've just looked out the window and gone, Skoda, yeah, number four. Yeah. And she goes, oh, excuse me, that's my car. Oh. Yours is the one next to it. And I went, oh, so it is.

And like, cause she was like, I'm not paying for your full tank, mate. Oh, yeah. But I mean, no one, like. Yeah, but I would have paid 35 bucks and just walked out. Yeah, right. And then she would have copped my 85. Or they would have been like stolen fuel.

And like reported your number plate to the police. Well, not mine. Bridget's. Bridget's, yeah. So true. Shame. I feel like I would want to say something, but then I'd be like, oh, I'm not trying to...

You would have paid the 85 and just been like, sorry, be a hassle. Yeah, actually, probably. Yeah, I would have, I reckon. Bella Lambert asks, Vegemite on scones, normal or nah? So you wanna say nah? And then you think about it with some melted butter? Yeah, and a bit of cheese or something? What? What?

A scone. Well, I'm thinking about like- And vegemite and cheese on a scone. Well, I'm thinking about like- And a vegemite and cheese on the scone. Well, I'm thinking about a cheese and vegemite sandwich. Unreal, right? And then I'm thinking about, imagine if on top of a scone, you had a little bit of vegemite

and then like either cream cheese or whipped ricotta or something. That would be really yummy. Or if you put a bit of cheese on the top and then put that under the grill. What's happened? I don't understand what's happened. What do you mean what's happened? Savory scones. You've got to switch your brain over. No, no, because scones usually have strawberry and jam and that's sweet. Yeah. Okay. Well, you just said yes to Vegemite, which is the opposite of jam.

Yeah. And then the opposite of jam is not having jam. No. It's not. It's just simply not. What's the opposite of going upstairs? Sitting down. True. Asking someone else to come upstairs for you. Getting in the lift. What's the opposite of going to the Weveys?

Staying in Melbourne. That's close to what mine would be. Yeah. Yeah, I thought you'd talk about the Nickelodeon kids' choice awards or something. No. Though I did say this funny treat about like sliming people at the Met Gala.

I did say that too. Because I was only this week. You didn't watch the dress code, slimer, slimer. Yeah, you didn't do a good job at the theme. Yeah. Yeah, so savory scone is kind of, yeah, where my mind is going. Yeah.

I think that scones are Vegemite and cheese mixed through the dough and then baked. That would be also very, you know, when you get a savory scones like cheese and spinach or fuck that's good. I went through a phase where I used to have like a, a savory muffin. Like cause that muffin break they do the bacon and egg one or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Spinach and shit. Yeah. I just, I. And then do you have a sweet one for dessert? So you like dual muff? Speaking of which, we've got a pub update tomorrow. I really like, I personally am more inclined to crave savoury food. So when people are like- Personally, I crave all of it. Yeah, but I would rather have like a cheese board than a block of chocolate.

Yeah, because that's because you don't have... You gotta put a bit of chocolate on your cheese board. Oh, sorry. You're doing both. Dark chocolate because it's healthy. Oh, so true. Yeah, and a glass of red wine for your heart. Yeah, full keto or whatever. Those keto guys gotta lift because they're like, oh, you can't have all this stuff, but you can have dark chocolate, red wine and fucking barb bar.

And you can eat three kilos of meat at each meal. So are we on a diet or are we not? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that just sounds like a great weekend. That sounds like a weekend away at an Airbnb with your friends. Yeah. That's not a diet. Oh, doing the keto diet.

Colby Roseberry. Colby not a diet. Oh, the keto diet. Colby Roseberry. Colby is a good cheese. Yes. Colby Farks. Back in the day, Devondale, I don't know if that's a thing over East, but in the Western area of the country where I'm from. West Australia.

Where I hail from. Devondale, Colby, that was the shit. That's the cheese my mom used to buy in a kilo block. Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. That would get through hours at the Lodge House. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Colby Rosenberry. Rosemary. Normal on her. When I worked in retail, I used to hate when people spoke to me whilst wearing sunglasses inside a shopping center. It feels so rude. Tapa Colby says now she takes her sunglasses off when going through the drive through?

Oh yeah. Like I know I'm speaking to someone like I'm gonna take my sunglasses off. My husband gives me crap for it all the time but I think it's the polite thing to do. Normal or nah, taking your glasses off. I do get it. I totally get it. And I think it's a normal for me. Like I'm not really a sunglasses inside person, except sometimes I don't have my glasses on me and my sunglasses are prescription.

So then if I go inside somewhere or go through the drive-through or whatever, I actually have to leave my glass on because I can't fucking see. And do you almost want to say something? And I always do. I go, I'm so, because I have my glasses up on my head, my sunglasses or whatever. And then I'll be like, oh, yep, cool. I'm one of those.

Just to really emphasize it. And then I go, sorry, their prescription, I don't have my glasses. And they go, oh yeah, that's okay. But I always feel like the biggest flog. So like, I feel like I'm trying to look like a celeb, like undercover. Do you know what I mean? I'm wearing my sunglasses upside down. What a loser. I always feel so embarrassed. There's a hat on as well. Oh, and I wear hats a lot. Like it's just-

It's like, is she undercover? I feel like that, but then I just do this and like shift them up and down to try and make it look like I'm not. Oh, so she's just an undercover with bad eyes side. Yeah, sure. So you think I should try and get contacts? Nah, we've talked about this before. Your glasses are sick.

I hate them. Is it the- I hate them so much. Is it the look or is it the admin? Because I feel like if you take away the glasses, I'm like, that's- I don't so much. Is it the look or is it the admin? Because I feel like if you take away the glasses, I might- I don't think- It frames your face.

See, I don't think glasses suit me at all. I think that they look shit. I don't like them at all. I love glasses. I'm a married glasses wearer. I'll refuse to put my penis in something that's got good eyesight. Yeah. Poor Sophie.

Sophie also wears glasses. Lucky Sophie. It's wears glasses. Lucky Sophie. It's Charles you need to be concerned about. That motherfucker's 2020 vision. Do you remember when there was a bruja, I don't know if I should say this person's name because it sounds like I'm being a dick. Fuck it.

Erin Mullen, right? She was like- I don't even know who that is. She was like a- Which is maybe the biggest dick thing I can say. She's a news presenter in Sydney or whatever. Oh, spy news. She's on spy news now.

Yeah, that's a choice. Anyway, so she was getting canceled for some bullshit and she goes in to do a radio interview. And as it was, she had like an eye infection and her glasses were misplaced. So she had to wear her sunglasses because it had the prescription in. And I have been there.

Like it sucks. But then she goes in to defend herself and she's wearing sunglasses on a breakfast radio show at seven in the morning. And it just, like you were saying, it just looks like, what are you? Well, she's obviously hiding something. Yeah, not 1000%.

And even though she was like, no, I'm here to say this. And you just look like you don't give a fuck Rolling gone. Whatever they will be on a mine. I did it fucking sue me. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to pull off glasses inside Yeah, you're like G flip or something Very cool can very much so pull off sunglasses inside. Yes, Sophie You know what else is really cool when you're playing casual, like poker with friends and you wear sunglasses. Oh yeah. That is pretending you're like any good at it. Were we wearing glasses in Vegas? Nah. Well, I was wearing my glasses, I think. What about, I was wearing sunglasses inside the other day, but I think that was ironically

because you know, I got those colorful ones. Yeah. You, you rocking those a lot though. So they've, I feel like they- I've worn lot though. So they I feel like Twice no, I'm just two more times and I've won sunglasses actually don't have to get so I am defensive I am defensive what I was gonna say is cuz you're wearing those a lot. They don't feel out of place though. Oh So I need to wear no so fucking apologize for our guys for wearing them twice and being accused of wearing them a lot You've worn them all in twice and that's fine. I apologize for wearing them twice and being accused of wearing them a lot. You've worn them more than twice. And that's fine. I'm saying that they like suit you because you wear them a lot. Why are you freaking out?

I'm freaking out. I've been accused of being a glasses wearer. I wish I was. I've bought so many sunglasses in the last six months. They're fucking everywhere and I never remember to wear them. I know. I already always see them. Yeah.

They are everywhere. Yeah. Well, I went through a phase of like, well, I'm not going to spend a hundred dollars because that's too expensive. What I will do is buy five $20 pairs. Is buy shit ones for 35, them not fit right, and then have to buy 10 of those. Yeah. It's cheaper.

It is cheaper. Yeah, better for the planet too, which we love. Thank you. Georgia. Hi, Georgia. When I work early shifts, I sleep in my bra to save time in the morning. I don't want to wake up a second before I have to. Georgia asks, is this normal or no?

No. Like, it's not going to save you that much time. Precious seconds. Here's the thing. The second it took you to put it on before bed is probably the same amount of time it takes you in the morning. About in the morning. But you have to deal with the five to nine hours that you're sleeping of discomfort from wearing a bra to bed. So you've met my mate Marcus.

Yeah, I have. Does he wear a bra to bed? He used to work at the IGA Dally in Diamond Creek. Shout out. Nice. Shout out. Now he- Yeah, shout out doesn't hit the same when you don't do the words. Shout out. Yes. I would like to shout out IGA Diamond Creek. Oh, shout out. What is up? So he used to have the Sunday morning shift. Yeah. Which when you're between the ages of 16 and 24, like, good fucking luck. Hey, I used to be that guy. I get it.

You just pop it. And you never had a party going, work tomorrow, might turn it in. You just go, man, I'm fucked tomorrow. Oh, I did. So, sorry. All of a sudden, not relatable to me. So Marcus would roll in at like 4 AM and go, fuck, I'm on in three hours. I'll put the IGA Richie's uniform on now and sleep in it. Cause I know that when I wake up at 5.52 and go, fuck. I have to be there in six minutes. Yeah.

And he just leave like sort of rough around the corner. Yeah. And then he would wake up and be like, oh, this is so fucked up. And then he'd look down and be like, fuck. Yeah. I'm already dressed. I'm ready. Black suit pants, you know, slacks.

Yeah. Black socks, the black shoes. Yeah, probably didn't sleep in the shoes. Black shoes ready to go. And he's rich, his IGA shirt, straight out of bed, straight down there. He'd be there early. I did throw up in the deli sink a few times.

Like, you'd be putting the fish out, and you'd be like, just give me a second. Yeah. But that all's fair. Do you mean? It's like still up to audit. You know that Altham Coles, there's the cafe? Yeah.

It's called Mainz now. It used to be able to be there. Tom Wood spewed while making a coffee for someone there once because they used to work there and that literally... Poor Tom Wood. And so he was literally like, I'm like, yep, we'll get a flat white and this and this and that. Oh, did you want a sugar? And she's like, um, and he goes, just one second, man. And just turn around and he like turned around, spewed in a bucket and then turned back around

again and was like, and was that the oat milk, sweetheart? And just like, yeah. Yeah. And I think that, and then he, he got to, he started work at seven and then he gets, he got back to my house at seven 45 and he was like, they sent me home. They're like that. We respect that you turned up and when we respect you at least turned around before spewing on the fucking coffee machine. But the poor woman who was coming back. Hey, it's Eric from Long Island, New York and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Before we do the Champion Taffa shout outs can everyone please in the episode Fred tell us when you spewed at work. Yes. Yes. Because we're-

But fun. But fun. Yeah. But fun. Shout out to the Coles Dally in Maddington. Maddington, yeah. The Melbourne Central public toilets. Yeah, I don't want to add any on, but so.

That Sophie Estelle Woods used to work out. What store did you work out at at Melbourne Central? I can say it's not there anymore. It was called Saxony. What's that? Like a black drapey, like Rick Owens knockoff kind of chain. Like, yeah, real cool drapey. But yeah, it didn't have a bathroom in there.

So I'd have to put up the back in five minute sign and run to the Melbourne Central. You would be there alone before 9am or whatever. As someone that needs to go to the bathroom all the time, the thought of being the only person working at the retail store is just anxiety. But also- I need three people working. So when I need to go to the bathroom, then there's still two left. There's still full staff.

Yeah. And they can still be sure that if they need to go, there's another person there. There's another backup. Yeah. My, the worst is that when you work in a shopping center and that you have to go to the public toilets. So you can't just duck out to do a wee. It's like a 10 minute palava of walking down the thing.

And also women's toilets are all... The line is ridiculous at all times. And you have to wait in the public toilet line. In my retail outlet, every store will have its own bathroom. And you've always said that. Yep. And that's why I will be voting one, Ryan John Donne. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you very much. A massive shout out to a few of our champion times up. I'll go direct line to the president. This just in, he doesn't know who the fuck you are. Oh, sorry. Thank you so much to Ruth, Raise the Ruth, Sean Davies, good on you Sean. Jesse Lee, Ashley Haynes, Meg, good on you Meg.

Artemisa, Artemisia, sorry, and Charlie Marie. Very good to meet you. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for being part of that job. We absolutely love to see it. Love to see it, love to see it. And thanks for voting for us in the webbies. Yeah.

Next Wednesday, Zepisode will be recorded. Sorry, next Wednesday. Zepesode, will be recorded. Sorry, next Wednesday. Zepesode. Zepesode. Because fuck knows with daylight savings and time zones and fucking climate change. I don't know when we're gonna record that, but it'll be recorded straight after the webbies.

So what you hear on Wednesday will be drunk or hung over or sad or depressed, Tony and Ryan. Because on Monday night in NYC, baby, forward in time Wednesday, you know what I mean? Or Tuesday morning, depending what time we're. Wednesday, that might come out Tuesday night. In the cheapest downtown motel in Manhattan. We're all sharing one single bed.

Yeah. No, it's a double. There's definitely bed bugs in it. So how it's gonna work is, so I'll be sleeping down one side of the bed, Tony will be down the other, but because she's short, that'll leave a gap for Charles along the bottom.

Charles to crawl up at the, yeah. I love that. Charles and I were actually planning on sleeping like yin and yang, like curled into each other like this. Like a snail. Do we have to come up with some kind of like- Code word? Well, that we're all kind of like-

Like who's hands that? Running all in of like leaving. Oh. Yeah. This is my question. Because if it's like we're like, we all are like, well, we have to leave now and record the podcast. Oh, because of the podcast. Yeah, then we'll go back. But like, are we happy to be like, we have to, you know, if someone's like, I really need to head off. Yeah, and then we'll do the pod and then we'll put mum to sleep.

Yeah. And then me and Charles will go. I'm actually thinking it's going to be you, Big Dog. No. Daddy's on the tear tear dad's away from the family he's got six days to give it a fucking nudge hot mmm but you're right I probably will go straight to bed no no no we're not doing that oh yeah you're going out we're going out and actually speaking of going out I went out last

week as well with Sophie actually Sophie and I was actually. Sophie and I went out for a hot little vino day. And it was really sweet. So I got this. So Sophie was there with her husband and son. And they were having a little like, they were doing their footy tipping and stuff at our local. Cause Sophie and I live really close to each other. And I got there kind of as Ryan and Sophie's son, Otis, were kind of going to leave. I got there and we, you know, changing of the guard. Just for those that don't know, Ryan won't be seen with Tony. So, yeah, he refuses. So Tony walked up and he's like, well, that's my fucking.

He's like, all right, I'm out of here. Yeah. No, but like, so I sat down and we kind of chatted, had half a drink together and then they ended up leaving. But like, as I walked in, because there's kind of people walking around and having drinks and stuff, as I walked in, this guy behind us was like kind of getting settled and like, was kind of getting up and sitting back down and sorting himself out or whatever. of getting up and sitting back down and sorting himself out or whatever. And I sat down with Sophie, we order a drink, everything's fine. And then, um, Rhian is like, all right, well, I better take the boy home. And Sophie's like, I'll walk you guys out. So I was just sat there by myself. And then as, um, Sophie came back in five minutes later, this guy who's sitting in the table

behind us, like, kind of is like gets up and kind of is moving around again as Sophie walks in. And then like she smiles at him, whatever, and then sits down at the table with me. And we kind of were both like, oh, like things going on, whatever, didn't really think much of it. And then maybe five or 10 minutes go by and we're just chatting and catching up. And he gets up again, like stands up again, but there's this woman walking in and he stands up and they hug and he goes, so nice to meet you.

Aren't blind dates awkward? Oh, so he thought. So at first he thought I was the date. So when you walk in, you see this random guy go, fuck yeah. And he goes, yeah, lips is lips. He goes, oh, here we fucking go. Yeah, he goes, nice James. And then you sit down and he goes, oh, yeah.

Was he visibly disappointed when you sat at a different booth? No, definitely not. He was probably like, thank God. She really undersold it on the shoulders up. And then so, Sof takes her husband and child out. Yeah, and walks back in. And then he goes, fuck yeah, mom sent like dad home and now it's part of time.

Yeah, and he goes, I love a redhead, you know? And then this like- And he's like, oh, damn it. This cutie young blonde walks in. She is like, she's beautiful. She's wearing like a black tank top and like a denim skirt. And it was like kind of warm outside. So it was like, it was perfect vibes.

But then he goes, oh my God, so nice to meet you. Like, yeah. And she's like, oh my God, hi. And they give each other a kiss on the cheek. And then it's like the, yeah, aren't blind dates so awkward? So literally, yeah, he thought both of us were his date before this woman walked in. Was there a moment where you thought, you know, throw one in?

Yeah. Yeah. Just like if this guy is sorted down, like it's a warm night. Yeah. It's a barmy evening. I've got a drink. We've had a spicy mug. I'm wearing jeans. Yeah. Yeah. He's he's commented on the jeans. Yeah, he's thinking about the jeans. He's seen the picture on the Facebook group

and he goes, fuck yeah. He's thinking I'd love to be inside those jeans. Yeah, so would you describe your feeling towards the blonde woman? Cause I feel like you're jealous cause you wanted to. No, no, no, no, she was gorgeous. Oh yeah, but like girls gotta compete, you know? No, they absolutely don't.

I'm also engaged. Yeah which means not married yet is I believe the technical term. Not searching for another mate at this point. Sometimes love just finds you. Sometimes love finds you. You know what they say to spinsters they go they go oh it's when you stop looking it it'll, you know, it'll find you. It's when you least expect it. Yeah, but it's not expecting it or after it. The time when you least expect it is after you've just been proposed to.

So true. And they're like, oh, that'll ride all along. Yeah, and then you go, wow, that's really bold of them. Yeah, here he was. I've just gotten engaged and that's really bold. Here he was in a wine bar in rural Victoria. Yes, out in the country. Yeah. And it's actually in Preston, the wine bar. Oh, is it? Rural Preston. It's the city for us girls. And so did you guys listen in on the blind date? Well, so- Because blind dates is fucking- that's vintage.

That's vintage. I know. So we- Did one of them have a blood nose? No, no. So we did listen in for a little bit and then we were like, oh, should we go and find a spot out in the beer garden out the back? No, no. You stay close to this blind date. No, no, no. So we went down into the beer garden, but like at this place that we got, that we were at Surly's, they don't do tables. Like you go up to the bar. But the people were sitting right next to the bar. And you know what, Sophie and I are like a couple of fishies. So every what, six minutes, one of us was back at the bar to get another drink and get an update.

And what is the update? They were still there when we left at 9.30. You're out on 9.30 on a weeknight. You are gonna go big next week. And did, they were, and we'd gotten there at like, I think that she arrived at like six. Whoa. Yeah. So they were sitting there to get-

It's a good sign, hey. Yeah, but they were also like- Time just disappeared, having a few drinks. They also, it wasn't like, what do you do for work? They were like, like the body language was body languaging and it was like sexy, it was good. Were you just like feeling the vibe from across the room kind of thing?

Well, yeah, and because we'd seen the beginning interaction every time was like, wow, the comparison to point zero is just unreal. So it's actually quite scientific. When you walk past the booth did you like just whisper to her like as you're walking past going he looked at me first. Put your hair up next time I think he likes that. Wear jeans. He loves jeans. Or say to her oh it's great that he's settled. Why are you choosing violence right now? No, like he couldn't. Telling you this beautiful love story.

He couldn't get me, but he'll like take you. Like, be like, no, no, I'm not indulging that at all. Everyone compromises a part of life. No, and I think that I would love to, if you are who we're talking about, like I would, like do you reckon if someone heard this, they would know that it's them? How many people went on a blind date at Surly's in the last week or so? So true. They can't, because blind dates in itself is kind of rare.

Also Surly's is like a local bar. Like you probably wouldn't go there if you didn't. We're out of town, rolling to Surly's. But you just like, you wouldn't go unless you were going with someone who'd been there before. Do you know what I mean? Just the blind date in the era of Tinder and Hinge and fucking whatever. Totally. It's just like, well, I've got mutual friends and they're like, oh, you guys should fucking

yeah. Oh no. Let me set this up. Oh no, I'm not doing that. What? No. No. No. No. We're both married. Yeah. Oh, not yet. They should be so lucky. They're coming back into fashion though.

I've got a lot of friends who have been setting people up on blind dates. I like it. Single correspondent Charles Patterson. Beep beep beep beep beep. Charles, as a single man, do you, like for me, and I mean probably any date, but like a blind date does, it gives you the lucky sighting bit a bit scary, eh? Like if someone's at you on a blind date, you'd be like, oh. But like, I would rather it, because then it's like,

at least say you like know somebody of somebody, and then it's like, you're not then having to like, introduce, and you've got mutuals, you've got something already. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. I think also like, you would probably get really in your head about what you'd talked about

on Tinder or Hinge or whatever, because you've kind of had a bit of chat. You'd be like, is all the small talk gone? Yeah, you've used it all up. Like you've already talked about what you do for work probably, or like what type of movies you like. That's why you've decided to go on the date. Yeah. So you know what I mean?

So you're still watching that show? Yeah, we talked about it yesterday. Yeah, we talked about it last night and I'm one episode further in like- All right, I got a question for the two of us. Question. And this is self-awareness and awareness of each other because we're best friends. Yeah. Are we? We are best friends.

We are. Yeah. Better, like in terms of game, on text or in person? Because I'd be scared if I had a good text game and then you meet him in person like, Oh, it was a lot more fun when we were just messaging. And now it's just like a bit lame in person. You know what I mean? Or are you like better? I'm definitely better in person. But then do you not get to that point because you're not, your game's not strong on texting.

This is what I mean, like you have to nail two different games. So true. Yeah. No, I'm definitely better in person. Cause I think I'm, I think I can, No, no, I asked. I asked. I think I can be quite charismatic. I think I'm like a good conversationalist. So I think that the thing about me would be that like, you would hopefully feel my energy, have a bit of fun.

We would probably laugh together. Can I feel more than your energy? Well, I think I'm also, this is fucking going back into the Rolodex, but I also think I'm like pretty good at flirting. Show me. Let's pretend we're on a blind date right now. I'll come in. I'll come in. No, I don't. Well, what am I? No, this is, I regret everything. Um, yeah, could I get two glasses of sangria? I think that's going to be a really good conversation starter. Oh, hello. Oh my god. Hi. Hi. I'm um, I'm actually looking for a blind date.

Do you know where she is? Yeah. Um, right. Oh, are you Tony? Oh,, sorry, yeah, sorry, the photos looks... No, you have to give me a better start, give me a better start, go back out. Were you happy with the sangria though? Because I ordered the same again. Same again, two sangrias, thank you. And a shot of ouzo. Do you work here? Hi! I'm Brian. Are you Tony? Hi, I'm Tony! Oh no, put those down! I bought us two St. Grahers. I hope you haven't ordered anything.

You're really fucking me! No, let me do my move! Put that, put the St. Grahers down! There we go. Hi, I'm Tony! Fuck! If you're not going to do that, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Put the sangreyas down. There we go. Hi, I'm Tony. Hi, I'm Ryan. You're fucked on this one. Hi, I'm Ryan. Hi, I'm Tony.

Nice to meet you. Thank you. No one saw that because it's a fucking podcast. The grab. She grabbed my... Oh, thank you. No one saw that because it's a fucking podcast. The grab. That's the grab. She grabbed my, after the hug, there was a grab. It's just a little squeeze.

Not of the bum. No. It's good though, isn't it? Who taught you that? I just figured- What magician? I just figured that out myself. Are you gonna do that to Taylor Swift when we bump into her at the Webbies next week?

Yeah, I do it to Torbs. Oh, no wonder he's married, you fucking hell. Like when he gets home from work, I'll give him a big kiss on their face and then I'll give him a hug and that little squeeze. That squeeze is- I kiss you on the face. I kiss you on the cheek.

Power move. Yeah. The squeeze is good. And then I feel like instantly you feel like there's a comfortability because it's not like a stiff, awkward hug. But what if the guy does the squeeze? Is and then I feel like instantly you feel like there's a comfortability because it's not like a stiff awkward hug. But what if the guy does the squeeze is that seen as creepy? Let's try round three.

Oh can I just say it's not a squeeze of any genitals but yes I'll go I'll go out I'll come in do you want me to do that? No I'll be... Oh my god I'm gonna wait! I'm here waiting it's eight o' Oh, she must've stood me up. Oh wow. She's a belly dancer. I don't even know how to describe that. She's belly dancing in. Oh, she's taking her top off. Hi Shakira. Hi Tony. Yeah. Oh alright, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Is that the same as you do it? That wasn't really the same.

Was it that I thrusted my pelvis and went... The thrust and the boner was a weird addition as well of it. Wasn't expecting the stiffy to be crossed. Nah, it's been described as worse than a weird addition. Who's addition? Anyway, yeah, so bit of fun. Bit of fun. Bears went better than our three did I think. I hope so. Hey if you know someone on a blind date at Serleys. Yeah I'd love to find out. Let us know. Now I don't know if this is really a love to see it. Is it that you went on a date and you're pretty sure it's gonna come off?

Come off. Get off. Come in. Let me send you this video. Now this doesn't look like a good video, but let's have a look and it's in the group chat. So I think, Soph's got it as well.

But Tony, tell me what you're seeing and what's going on in this video. And you thought swimming in the pool was the safest choice? It's like a public pool. Panning around the public pool. It's a beautiful pool by the way. Everyone stands, no there's no one in the pool. Zooming. Someone's trying to get, is that like a bandaid? They're zooming in but I can't see anything. They had to clear the public pool because there was a floating code brown. Oh

Now who shits in the pool now have a better look at the pool Who's shits in the pool? Now have a better look at the pool. Does it look familiar? Oh my God, that's the London Lido. Yeah, the London Field Lido. And my love to see it is I got back to the country before they found me. Oh my God. I've swam in that pool every day in London.. Oh my god.

I've swam in that pool every day in London. Changed my life. And I saw that and I went, I know that pool. I literally was like, what a beautiful pool. Oh my god. Yeah, I've swam in that bad boy a few times. Well, and we won't be swimming in there again. They clear, and so I'm watching this video going,

oh my god, someone's done a code brown in the pool. And then I went, I know that pool. I've been there. I've been there. I've been in that pool. Oh my God. Yeah.

Drama. Drama. Can you imagine how fucked off you'd be though if you were there to swim laps? And then that alarm went off and you had to get out. And I only have the time that I'm here. And this is all the time that I've got. I've got 45 minutes, three times a week for my time to go to the London Fields Lido

and have a fucking swim. Yeah. Now, when there's like an emergency, an alarm at a pool might sound something like, give us a... Wee-oh, wee-oh, oh, whoo-oop, whoo-oop. That's good. I feel like that second one's more of a fire alarm warning. That first one is like drowning kid.

Yeah. What is the sound for a code brown? Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. I don't know what I was expecting when it wasn't that. That was fantastic. That's what I do on dates. That's part of the flirting. That's what he was doing later. Yeah, probably.

I've got to love to see here. It's a bit of a recommendation. The TV show, The Studio on Apple TV with Seth Rogen in it. Is it great? It is, you would love it. Yeah, I've seen him talk about it and I was like, and I say, oh, I should watch that about fucking everything you never do,

but this one, maybe I will. So the same way that you send me like YouTube videos and you go, you should watch this, is the same way that I said you would love this TV show and you go, yeah, I'll watch that another of us do. Then neither of us do it, yeah. But this one, I really recommend it because the single shots are incredible. It's really fucking funny

You like it's really good But the production alone like even if the show was shit the production is fucking sick sick and there are heaps of BTS videos and vlogs and stuff about the production like the making of the show which is so Cool to like see behind the scenes. Question considering we've got a huge flight ahead of us. Can you watch Apple TV on a plane? Can you download? Like on my laptop or something?

Everyone looks at Charles. Yeah, Charles, sorry. You don't have to answer that right now. You've corresponded to what we called him before. We don't fly out until the weekend, but. Yeah, but I think that would be a good place to watch it. Yes, you can download Apple TV. Oh, awesome.

I'm gonna watch Ted Lasso. What's the other one on Apple that people are watching? No, watch the studio. The studio? Yeah, it's a long flight, dude. And then we gotta fly back. Oh, you can download, oh, I'll watch Ted Lasso. No, watch the thing, I just fucking recommend it.

I've never figured out Apple TV. So I want to watch Ted Lasso. I want to watch Severance and I want to watch the studio. Now I've got three shows to watch. I've got a long vlog. I can do three shows in eight days. Ryan. And the studio will be first.

Ryan, Ryan. Let's not fuck around. You're going gonna be asleep before they give the safety demonstration. I've never been awake in a safety demonstration since 2007. When we flew to London, Ryan fell asleep so quickly

that when he woke up, he thought that we were in London, but I think it'd been delayed and we'd been on the tarmac for like 40 minutes. And he woke up and he's like, fuck, we got here? Like that was a, he's like, oh my God. And he's like, fuck, we there already?

Like nudges me, are we there already? And I was like, we haven't even taken off yet, mate. You're still in Kuala Lumpur. We couldn't be, we've actually reversed, we're closer to home than we were when you fell asleep. Yeah, so. it was fucking rough. He goes, God, did we transfer and everything? We're on the plot. We're in London. I was like, nah, not quite. So I love that you're excited about watching them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The studio.

Really good show. Honestly. So, so, studio. All right, tomorrow on the show. Video show tomorrow. It's a video show tomorrow. On YouTube. Now, last week there was some pub confessions, which took us all a few days to like, just calm down. Well, I shared something so bravely. Bravely.

Independent. And then Ryan shared something so much worse. Bravely. And then Ryan shared something so much worse. Bravely. Well, tarpas in Patreonion have shared their... So here's some things to look forward to. Yeah. Not only have they shared their thoughts, but for anonymity reasons. Anonymity, yeah.

I said to chatGPT, if I give you their real names, can you spit back what their pub name would be? That's so funny. So can you give me the example of what they've decided to call hotash from Perth in pub form? Well that would be adding her. But also I don't know if she was on the list here. She didn't make the card. No, but we have stories from Rugged Rochelle and Big Muff Morgan. So just to name a few.

So that's tomorrow on the show. And also, now this is actually what I am really excited about. Yeah. Charles has seen it. You painless. Well, arguably worse. I have made an ad for it. Lily's seen it. That's arguably worse. I have made an ad for it. Lily's seen it.

That's, that's. Arguably worse. She went. I've made an ad for the Tony and Ryan podcast to promote our podcast. Amazing. And it's, I think some of my best work. Great.

And we'll debut it on the show tomorrow. And you can see it in real time because obviously we'll need you to sign off before we. Before it goes anywhere. Yeah. So what's the vibe then if we've watched it on the podcast? If I then. If you say no.

Yeah. We'll have to clip it out. We'll have to cut it out. Yeah, okay. That you'll hear a beep and then. All right. Technical chart. Oh, you'll hear something, but.

Oh, great. All right. Love you. See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bonjour Canada. This episode is brought to you by Oxio,

the Canadian internet provider that finally feels like home. And Ryan, you know that feeling when you get home, you take your shoes and socks off, take your bra off. And like for you, it's your house clothes, but for me it's my nightie. Yeah, I mean your nighties house clothes. But I put my nightie nightie. Yeah, I mean your nightie's house clothes. But I pop my nightie on and, ah. Well it is pure bliss, isn't it?

Well, with Oxio, your internet can feel like home too. It actually already does. It actually already does. I wanna move to Canada so that I can sign up to Oxio. And I've always said that. Do we not live in Canada? I'll be not signed up to Oxio. Ah.

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