Toni and Ryan - Toni Delivers Semen

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

HAPPYYYYY SEMEN DAY!!!!!! Love you xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Subscribe now using the code Fizz C and get 10 gigs of data and 25 bucks. Switch to Fizz today. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. If this is your first episode, we call someone to approve our podcast and let it rip. I've just made that up. This is Amy Ingeland. Let it rip. Okay. Wow. I'm so embarrassed.

You should, that's cowabunga dude. Shit. Hello. Amy! It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Good. Thank you. How are you? We're so well. How's Geelong today?

Is it was the sun out? What's going on? Oh, a little bit of sun. Not a lot. Not great deal down here though. Now I'm inside so it doesn't matter. Yeah, true. Now, Amy, how old is your son?

He turns three at the end of November. Lovely. And what was your son's age? He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. He was a little boy. doesn't matter. Yeah, true. Now, Amy, how old is your son?

Ah, he turns three at the end of November. Lovely. And what word did he just learn from his mom, maybe accidentally? Couple of words. For fuck's sake. Isn't a kid saying for fuck's sake, just the funniest thing ever though. But you can't laugh because then it encourages them. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what must have happened to me when I was a kid. I must have sworn by accident someone laughed and went, that's a winner. I'll keep doing that. So, Amy, how do you go? Because I'm struggling really hard not to laugh. Because Mabel fell down and she went, shit. And I pierced and Bridget's like, stop laughing. And I was like, that's so funny.

Yeah, that is really funny. So how do you go with that? It's so hard. It's so hard. Like me and my husband look at each other and we're just like, don't, don't, don't do it. Don't laugh. See, I don't think I could laugh.

That's why I'm a good auntie. Oh, we laugh all the time. Yeah. Yeah. We're just pissing ourselves going, oh God, we shouldn't have laughed at that. Yeah. Oh, life short.

Life short. Laugh at it for fuck's sake. Yeah. Yeah. I've always said that. Amy, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely approve today's podcast. Yeah.

Legends. Hi, it's Amy from Geelong and I approve this podcast. Sophia, your hands warm? Tony, your hands warm? Yeah. Good. Because I hope you are ready to clap because Wednesday afternoon, Thursday morning, it's been my job here at Tarp Tower to make sure the bins are out. And I can confirm that this morning, the bin is in fact

at the curb. Okay. Yes. Good job. Great. Thank you. Thank you. Can I ask a question? No, no, Can I ask you a question? No, no, no, no, no, no. What'd you call me? No. Was the bin at the curb? Since last week. Since last week, yeah. When I forgot and so if you put it out, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And I haven't brought it back in. But also that it was, yeah, it's been out for a week. Yeah. I can't believe no one's stolen it. Doesn't that feel like a rogue thing that would happen? I literally got in this morning and went, oh, I gotta put the bin out.

And I went, already did last week. That's amazing. There's just shit everywhere. Work smarter, not harder. Why haven't I put that shit in the bin? And I go, oh, cause it's all the way at the end of the driveway. So this is what- There's shit, have you noticed?

Yeah, because this morning I looked down, there's like four empty Powerade bottles. Oh, I thought you were going to mention them. And a few empty other things. Thank you. We don't out anyone here. I didn't say a thing. Someone's eating healthy. At home and at work. Yeah. But I saw that and I was like, what the fuck? And then,

and then I was like, why don't you just put that in the bin? And then I was like, the bin's been out, I think. And then I was like, why don't you just put that in the bin? And then I was like, the bin's been out, I think. And then I was like, yeah, I have seen that on the curb every day. In your defense, a very long driveway. Thank you. Do you know what I mean? Thank you. It's not as if you're going like, zip-jump.

It's like blip blip blip blip. We know that. Zip-jump. No, it's not. We could probably do a whole podcast walking to get the bin. We actually could. It's a long way. We can go and chat to Chatty Tanya down the-

Tanya, I love Tanya. She's a good bitch. Lucky. Lucky. He's a good guy. We've got a lot of good neighbours here at Chalk Tower. Yeah, we do. Um, remember that guy Brad just walked in the other day?

And literally almost poo came out of my human body. This guy walks into the studio and goes, g'day guys, this is from Nextdoor. I didn't mind if I parked my ute in your driveway. And I literally went through the fucking roof. Yeah. I didn't, I thought it was a euphemism and I was ready. You aren't. You can park in my driveway.

You're ready where you want to. We go, Hey mate, you can park your thing in our driveway. If you bring our bin in, like it's a negotiation. Maybe his ute is our bin. What are you good for it? You know, can we use your ute to put our bin out? Put it in the back of the car. No, I think skip the middle man.

His tray is our bin. So we drive it out. Yeah. And then decant the rubbish from the tray into the bin. That's a good idea. Okay. Well, I'm glad we got that sorted. Bin chat.

Bin chat. It's good every time. Let's do normal on our thanks to everyone for submitting these in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Let's start with Gabriella Miller. Hi, Gabriella Miller. When pouring water into a cup, do you move the jug up and down and around in circles because it makes it feel like it's filling up quicker, even though it's not? Normal or nah?

I definitely do the up and down. So normal. Yeah. But the around, I don't do that because that feels like when you're doing a milk for a coffee. Yeah. And that could get a bit messy, I guess with. If you've got the tea bag already in and you're doing it with the kettle, it's a-

Oh, I wouldn't fuck with boiling water. Sorry. Sorry. you're doing with the kettle, it's a, Oh, I wouldn't fuck with boiling water. Sorry. Sorry. I do have my senior first aid, but I don't think it's worth it. Okay. No, I think you need a reason. Well, I just think like, why mix it later?

Like why stir it later when you can, the tea bag and start tea. I do hear what you're saying, but you need to give it a little jump after because that's when all the tea stuff comes out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you just start that process. Yeah. No, you're right. You're so right. Now, remember I can see you when you look at Sophie and then shake your head. I'm actually sitting right here. I'm not, I'm not someone like Bin that's actually far away. I'm actually sitting right here. You're listening to the podcast. You can't hear me.

See me. Fuck. Fuck. Now remember yesterday I said, is it a Queensland, Western Australia thing, or is it real life? Yes. Which for starters should be a TV show.

On seven, mate. You have to admit though, that things in Victoria are strange as well, which we talked about too, but I'll let you have her. Sally Hudson. Hi Sal. Australian bush dancing at primary school.

Normal or nah. When I went to primary school, we got taught bush dancing. We learned all the steps to classic bush dances like heel and toe and strip the willow. We'd perform them each year at the local community hall. I thought this was a staple subject of all Australian curriculum, but it came up in conversation with a friend the other day and she looked at me like I was a complete fucking idiot.

He says bush dancing isn't normal. He says it's a huge nah. It was normal for me. We did it at school, at primary school. In Western Australia. In WA, yeah. Did you not do that? No. Did you do any group dancing?

Like, did you, like, did you ever have to do like ballroom dance? Like, I don't know, cause we all, I had to do it at high school as well, that there was like a dancing thing. There was like- Maybe before a, our like dance event. So we had a school concert and if you were like wanting to be a part of the dance troupe, you could be, and I think dance was definitely like an elective in high school if you want them to be a dancer, but it's not like everyone was

like, well, when you finish the arithmetic, if I can put your taps on, because we're going to go click out a Riverdance. It was like a thing where it's like, oh, when you finish the arithmetic, fucking put your taps on because we're going to go click out a River dance. It was like a thing where it's like, oh, instead of fourth period today, we're all going to the undercover area and everyone's going to dance. Did you have that as well, Sophie? Yeah, she's from Queensland. Do you guys? The undercover area and you would go in there and that would close up the

canteen so that you could do the dancing. I mean, no hat, no play. You can't be out in the sun if there's a, a due diligence. What's the thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, so you'd be in the undercover.

Let's not get crazy. You need to be in the undercover area. So did you also learn the heel and toe and the strip the willow? I don't know what strip the willow is, but definitely the heel and toe and the box stamp and shit like that. And it was like lime dancing pretty much. Did you both go to school at Billy Bob's Honky Tonk in Fort Worth? I wish that that's why I went to school. I went dancing there. I've been dancing there also. That was a lot of fun.

Did it look like when you saw me dancing that I had done that before in primary school? No, it looked like you had no prior knowledge. Did it look to you like I knew what I was doing? Also, no. Oh, I guess it doesn't stay with you. I can't believe that you didn't do that. I can't believe that you guys did. Because we did lots of dancing.

Like we did like dancing where you learn how to dance with like a partner that was after school in high school, like. So like optional or after school? No, you like had to stay and do it. But didn't you go to like a performing arts school? Like, is that it? I went to a Catholic school. Not that they can't coexist, but. Yeah.

Wasn't the singing one, wasn't one good at singing or just had a. They just had like a music program. Okay. Gotcha. So it wasn't like a, I didn't go to like John or just had a. They just had like a music program. Okay. Gotcha. So it wasn't like a, I didn't go to like John Curtin or something. I really wanted to, but. You seemed like you're over it. Yeah.

I did get in. I just let everyone know that I did get in, but I wasn't allowed to catch the bus and train. Oh no. So I couldn't get from Raleighstone to Fremantle. Oh, you wouldn't want to. That's a fucking hike every day. But I really't get from Rollystone to Fremantle. Oh, you wouldn't want to. That's a fucking hike every day. Yeah, but I really wanted to go to the school.

Just dedicated to the arts. Yeah. Do you know that maybe I could just call up John Curtin and be like, could I just come and do a term or something? Remember that time when we just called up the Australian girls choir? I didn't get in because I was too old. Yeah. So what if you couldn't-

And I'm even older now. So yeah, I'm just getting further and further away. Can people please let us know on the episode thread, if you're Australian, which state you went to school and if you had to do the bush dancing, which just seems like the most craziest thing ever. I can't believe you didn't have to. That was like a thing that we did, especially in primary school and people listening overseas. Can you just please comment how fucked our country sounds right now?

No, I reckon that there would be a weirder equivalent. Do you know what I mean? Like maybe it wasn't dancing, but that there was things that, cause do you know what blows people's minds that we do swimming lessons? Yeah, at school. Cause like in my book I talk about going to, but cause like everybody has a pool. Yeah. And some people Cause like in my book I talked about going to bed because like everybody has a pool. Yeah.

And some people just really want to pull. I think they might. We're actually not doing pool chat this week. Some people don't have a pool, but they would love one. Yeah. While some people can fuck it and save up and buy themselves. Um, have you had any more correspondence? Cause I have. Have you? Interesting. Um, no, we're not doing pool chat, but so we do swimming

lessons, which like the Americans were like, why? Yeah. Why do you do that? But that's a big thing here. Cause every city is by the ocean. Yeah. I having been to Billy Bob's Honky Tonks in Fort Worth. Show it all. I reckon they must do some sort of dance because every single person there fucking was awesome. Or are they just lining up every Wednesday? Maybe, yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like maybe they just go and do it. That's their thing. And the people that were there are regulars. Gotcha. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and we definitely were not regulars. We had fun though.

We had a great time. We stood at the back with all the other Dorcos that were trying it for the first time, but we had a fucking grouse time. I boot scooted. Starting to say grouse now, apparently. That's new. Nah. Ask me normal or nah?

Kristen has a normal or nah. Hi, Kristen. Is it Kristen Bell? Uh, no, because she says I live alone and Kristen Ballard obviously lives with. Dax Shepard. I live alone and I only ever get in and out of one side of the bed. The other side of the bed is just not for entry and exit. Okay.

Yeah, no, I vibe that. And before you ask, yes, I am particular about other things in the bedroom not being a preferred place of entry. I can honestly say that I wasn't thinking about it at all for the first time in my life, maybe that was not entering my mind. But thanks for letting us know. Um, I think, well, I have a side of the bed and I would never like roll over and get out the other side. That's crazy, Tom. So I think that that makes sense because you would just get in and out of the bed and I would never like roll over and get out the other side. Yeah. That's crazy town.

So I think that that makes sense because you would just get in and out of the side that your like charger was on. Because like you stand there, you plug your charger in or your phone or your Apple watch or whatever, you put your water bottle down, then you hop into bed. If you were cast your mind back to when you were a single gal, would you sleep in the middle of a double bed? Yeah, I probably did. Yeah.

But my bed was against a wall. Oh, well then, so obviously only one entry, but like, isn't that the most teenage thing ever? It is. Yeah. Yeah. Then you're like, you have a friend over and you're like, sorry, I'm just going to Yeah.

You need to go to the bathroom. You're going to climb over their legs or whatever. And they're like, Oh, we're on. You're like, no, I just need to pee. No, I really need to go to the bathroom. over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and a company that brings adaptable, high quality furniture to everyday living spaces. And probably everybody that's listening is thinking, oh, how can I up the ante in my home? The whole family's coming around for Christmas. I've got people coming in. People are dropping in for a holiday party. Yep. And Cozy has matched their top products to make styling your home for the holidays even easier. You can shop their thoughtfully crafted bundles and enjoy seamless style with exclusive savings on every pairing. Modular sofas or the best selling C yellow sofa

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They don't get invited to dinner. No, they do. They really do. They're the centerpiece. Um, Tony is just taking a moment because we have been building. Happy birthday, by the way. Thank you. We have been building up to Tony delivering a semen and I believe you said, hang on, I

just need to practice. And then you gobbled like a turkey. What were you practicing there? Well, I was just going to practice these in my mind, but now I can't practice that in my mind because I'm like responding to you. No, you go. I'll just talk to myself over here. Do you want, would you like to do the champion Tapa shout out?

And then a hero comes along. You can do these. Let me text these to you. Her name is Tony Lott. She'll read a semen for you. It's her birthday. She's 42. 31. Thank you. Give or take 11. Give or take! Give or take means like, you know, one or two, not 11.

Give or take 11. That's why I start to clarify. Shout out to our champion tarfers. We've got Holly Gilmore, which is very similar to my favorite golfer, whose name is... I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly.

I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly.

I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going to go with Holly. I'm going Holly Gilmore, which is very similar to my favorite golfer. Um, whose name is Phil Mickelson. Emma. Thank you. Emma. Oh, what? You really did a good job there.

Can you actually, this isn't working because I can't concentrate. You practice your semen. Um, Pauline Caruso. Thank you very much. Deep as Mikey Wilson, Emily Davis and Nikita Jane freaking love tarp. I think that's her name. Not just a comment. Uh, and Emma, thank you very much for being a champion. Tapa the lifeblood of the Tony and Ryan podcast are our champion tarpas.

And I would like to give my thanks to you for keeping this podcast on in the lights running here at top tower. We appreciate it very much. Now I don't even know what to say. I don't even know what to expect. Okay. So a sermon is what the priest would deliver at the beginning of church. Semen is what he'd deliver after.

Well, that's edgy comedy. On a holy day. That's not a holy day. It's not religious. No, I don't think it is. No. Okay. So, but we did discuss that because my birthday is the same day as Thanksgiving, that it probably meant that I was holy. You're Jesus Holy Gilmore. And then a Holy comes along. Why, Torb's coming in a Holy. All right. So I've, I've, I've prepared a semen to share with everybody. And I came up with the idea that maybe the semen could be a limerick. Cause that's how, because that's the chosen form of communication. That's how we like to deliver information.

And I think that to follow. Should I be, is someone stepping on my toes? I think that we're a great team. There's no toes, there's no stepping. There's no eye and limerick. And you always said that. Except the two stepping. Except the two eyes. Except the two. Yeah. Keep, my eyes are up here. Yeah. But you're right. There's no eye in limerick. So.

Go on. Okay. Here we go. On the day that I started living is the same day as Thanksgiving. I'm your Lord and savior. So what's your behavior? Cause like Jesus, I am unforgiving. I'm impressed. Did you like that? Seaman very impressed. More where that came from. There isn't, I only wrote one.

So happy Thanksgiving and have a great day. Holy Gilmore, Holy Gilmore. Fuck. Holy's covenant. My holy big covenant. Okay. Moving right along. Um, recently, uh, we talked about tradie chat because Torb's and I, my partner at our house, we got a fence built. Um, you and I made a joke about, well, cause you were like, oh, you don't need to be home when tradies come around like all good. And I was like, well, I wanted to be there that first day that they were coming

around because they were ripping the existing fence out. And I wanted to make sure that they were doing that at the right house. Because, well, you know how we talked about this and I was like, imagine if then they go, yeah, we'll just get started. And they're at, you know, number 12 instead of number two or something like that. Surely they're going to check and be thorough and say g'day. Well. Oh, fuck me.

Interesting that you should say that because after we talked about this, we got a message from Amy on Patreon and she said, oh my God, tradie chat with a sick face emoji. And Amy says, we had a fence built on our property by mistake. We went to work and we came home and there was a fence. And I was like, well, no, that did not happen. And she goes, it 100% happened. And then we had the tradie come to our front door demanding payment. Oh, is this a ruse? Is that how they get you? Well, listen, hon.

Oh my God. Amy said it was a bit stressful, but we managed to negotiate a cheaper price. And I was like, well, no, you don't have to pay for that. Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah. They've like, they've come to the wrong, like that's their fuck up. Yeah. And it is a shame.

Don't get me wrong. Like that is totally a shame. Oh, not for Amy. Free fence. Free fence. Well, cheap fence. Well, but I agree with you. I don't think that she should have had to pay for that at all.

But if you actually did want the fence and they go, oh, we'll have to take it away then. Maybe go, oh, well, we've already put it up. And if I sling you a couple of hundred. But it doesn't sound like she said that he came to the front door demanding payment and was like, you need to pay me for this fence. And she was like, well, no. And I think that there's a conspiracy theory here. You think it is a ruse.

Do they just go around doing that and then go, well, now you've got to pay us. And then people go, well, you know where I live. I can't escape you. Like, because that would be my first thought. I'd be like, well, no, I'm not going to pay you. Then I'm like, well, you know where I live. Like, like, whose responsibility is that? Well, even if they do know where you live, so what?

I don't owe you money and I'm not giving you any. I don't know if that... You put a lot of weight on people knowing where you live though. But also because I'm like, well, are you going to like harass me for the money? Try and get through, mate. I've got a great gate to keep you out. But also I think that if they'd built it by accident and they were like, well, we'll root it out, I'd go, okay. Yeah, sure.

Like that wouldn't like if they'd built it in the wrong spot anyway, you know, you wouldn't have like been able to pick the color or anything. So you'd probably go, well, it's not actually even the right fence for our house or whatever. I just cannot believe that that actually happened. And that the nerve of this asshole to be like, well, now you have to pay me. She's like, well, now you have to pay me. She's like, well, what?

I've got an idea. What is it? Sophie, have you got like a red, like blanket? Like a maroon blanket? Okay, so this is what we'll do. Tony, we'll grab these microphones. We'll go down to Northland. Sophie will stand behind us with the blanket. So it looks like one of those curtains at a comedy club. And we'll just these microphones. We'll go down to Northland. Sophie will stand behind us with the blanket.

So it looks like one of those curtains at a comedy club. And we'll just like do jokes at people and then sting them for cash. And then ask him for money. Yeah. And they go, well, you fucking come to our comedy club. We're delivering gold. You think you don't have to pay to get in? But you can't do that.

There's a red curtain. Of course you're at a comedy club. Where else would you be? Northland? I love Northland. Yeah. Yeah. They've got a boost juice there.

Actually, there's a huge fight when I was there yesterday. Maybe Northland's not the place for us. Wasn't it the other day that you were there and someone got arrested? Yeah, that was a different time. Different and that was a rebel sport. In fact, I don't think Northland's the area for this because I think they'll fight back. Yeah, I don't think that they're gonna. Let's do it at Doncaster. they're pussies over there.

Well, like, do you have any claim over that though, that it's your fuck up? I just, I think I can't get over the thing. Was she offended by the assumption? Or was she like, no offense? She like, no offense. Surprisingly very good word play. Like actually really good. Might be a gateway pump.

Don't piggyback, man. But I didn't, I used a different one. I know where you live. Also, I'm just going to come around. But you know what I mean? Like, don't you think that that is so stressful that this guy just is like, give me the money for the fence. She's like, what fucking fence you asshole. Was it Mel Gibson in Ransom?

Oh no, he's the guy being ransomed. What's that? It's a movie where they... The one where it's the, um, road rage. No, you're thinking of the road rage one. No, Ransom when he's a pilot. Who's that? That's, um... The other one. It's not Mel Gibson.

It's, uh, Russell... The other guy who's like, Crow. Yeah. Yeah. Mel Gibson and Russell Crowe in my mind are not that different. Born in near Australia and both psychos. Yeah. Yeah. And both like scary.

Yeah. Terrifying. Um, so she, so was there an outcome here for Amy or? They paid for the fence. They've been shaken down. Well, yeah. I'm like, is this a conspiracy theory? Do they just go around building fences?

I reckon they do. They go, we're quiet day to day. Let's just see if we can get any money out of this person. We'll just knock one up over there. I just can, I think like preying on innocent people. They go to old ladies houses and go, don't you remember booking this over the phone? They go, Oh no, I don't. That would work on me.

Would it work on you? Um, yeah, it actually probably would. Cause I'd be like, I didn't call about a fence. I'd be like, yeah, you did. We spoke to you yesterday. I'd be like, fuck, did you? Remember when I bought that bright pink chair in the middle of the night online? Yes. Yeah. And I bought Crocs the other day, which is very, um, not my style. Nah, but very fun though.

Yeah. But so what happens is I wake up with Mabel in the night and then I go back to bed and just like playing on my phone for 10 minutes as I drift off. And like the shit that I look up is fucking harrowing. So if someone turned up and said, you booked a fence the other and like the shit that I look up is fucking harrowing. So if someone turned up and said, you booked a fence the other night at 2 14, I would have gone, what a fuckhead. Okay.

I just don't know though, that you can do that to people. If it was genuinely, genuinely a mistake and they like were at the wrong house or whatever, I think that's on you. Yeah. I just, I wonder if there's any tradies listening that could comment or maybe they built the wrong house or whatever. I think that's on you. Yeah. I just, I wonder if there's any tradies listening that could comment on maybe they've built the wrong thing somewhere. I just want to know from their perspective, like what would they do? I want to know if that was me, I'd pay the people. Yeah. Full, full right. If you'd tip them. No, no, no. If I build a fence on the

wrong person's house, I'd be like, sorry for the inconvenience. I'd pay the people and take my stuff away. Okay. Yeah. You know what I mean? Pay them for what? I just feel so bad. But you gave them a free fence. Yeah. But I'm just saying like, I would go so far the other way. Yeah. You would pay full price for the fence if that was your house.

Yeah, I would. Yeah. Cause I wouldn't want any trouble. So I've seen photos of your gate. You've seen it in real life. Oh, I have too. Okay. And that is at your house life. Oh, I have too. Okay. And that is at your house?

Yes. That's a bonus. Imagine if it was down the road. I'm like, how could suspense? Yeah, they did it at the wrong place. Just walk into the- I'm just at the wrong thing. That was like in that Halloween reaction video we did where all the houses were

similar and that young kid like trick or treated and it was like the same layout as his, so he just walked in. He just walked in. I also think that when you've had enough, you would just walk in I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was

just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was Hi Zach. My boss sent me a new work credit card. Oh, okay. And I just responded with a cowboy emoji. Powerful.

Could you imagine the panic in the boss? It's just like, what are you going to do? He goes, I'm going to go pay for a fence that I've been asked for. That's a powerful way to respond. Yeah, that's true. And I just love the no other context. Yeah. Cowboy emoji. Cowboy emoji. I wonder if our mate sent cowboy emoji or just typed cowboy emoji,

because both are very good ways of delivering information. Hey, I'm just going to text you something. Okay. Hang on. Why is it all like pixelated? Oh, that was the Zach Howes cowboy emoji. But now that we see it up close, it does look pretty crook. Why does that look so random? It looks fucking grim. I'm sorry about that, guys. I don't know. I don't really like that.

That cowboy emoji has embraced being a cowboy emoji and is just. Why doesn't it just look like this? Like, well, I just sent you back. That looks way better. Yeah, my one looks crook. Ah, it's actually really upsetting. Yeah. I don't like that.

Yeah. That cowboy is too far. Like I like the, I like the notion of the cowboy emoji, but that not that much. It's the, it's the cowboy emoji of cowboy emoji. That's beautiful. Um, I've got a, you love to see here. It's a message from Olivia, uh, that we got in Patreon. Um, and Olivia said, uh, my best friend's just got married. Fuck yeah. I've got a, you love to see here. It's a message from Olivia that we got in Patreon.

And Olivia said, my best friend just got married. So on Sunday, so the 24th, so just gone. She said, I just want to send lots of love to my best friend. She's really amazing and really selfless. And there's been a lot going on in her life. And she's like, and she just keep fucking getting back up and getting out there and doing it.

She deserves to stay. And so she says, Olivia and her now husband, ooh, deserve all the best. So congratulations to Claire and Joe. Absolutely love to see it. Thanks for sharing that with us. Love to see it. That's so good.

I can't believe people just want to share like, such exciting news. Well, this- Like friends getting married and stuff. That's so great. Coming into summer, it's like wedding season, isn't it? It is. Yeah. How are you going? Getting ready for your wedding?

I'm very excited. Yep. So my friend Jane's getting married later in the year. Got the dress sorted? My dress or hers? Yours. Mine, yes. Yep. All sorted. Does need a steam. Sophie, can you steam that? Cause you're so good at steaming. No. Sophie is a professional with her own job. It's on the weekends, I feel. What if I just rock up with the steamer, like the guy with the fence?

I go, no, you said you'd do this. You said you'd do it. You said you'd do this, Sophie. Yeah. If you get a pool at your house, I'll come over, steam the dress, have a dip. That's a power play. That is a power play. What if Fungi just put a pool in your backyard?

I'd love that. No admin. And then? They just crane it over and then I go, great. When can I pop the hose in and get swimming? But you just come home one day and they just go, you owe us cash? Yes. Okay.

Oh my God. Maybe I do like that. Okay. Nah, that's cowboy emoji. That's too much. Anyway, you love to see that. Thank you very much, Lucy. Oh, tomorrow. That's too much.

Anyway, you love to see that. Thank you very much for listening. Oh, tomorrow. Tomorrow's fucked everyone. But it's also a video show. It's a video show and it's fucked. So you can watch on YouTube, you can listen wherever you're listening. Can I tell you what's on it?

Yeah. So remember we were discussing the... Are you cringing at the thought of tomorrow already, Soph? Yeah. So we were discussing that like that old cliche line in comedy that's tragedy plus time equals comedy. I mean, when something bad happens, if it happened ages ago, eventually it'll become funny.

Yep. We've got a few stories that will test that notion. So these people have submitted these and goes, oh, it happened a while ago. Obviously like a bit crook, but like now time's passed. So pretty funny now. I don't know if it's fun. I still think it's a bit fucked.

Okay. Like, like it's, it's fucking, it could be a grim. I actually don't know which way this could go. Oh, great. Yep. So you get the family around after Thanksgiving. You're full of turkey and you gotta listen to this. Yep. Oh yum All right, love ya. Should I give you a code word? Actually no, no, no, no, no No, okay. All right. Love you. Talk to you tomorrow.

Bye. Love you. Today's episode is brought to you by Cozy, the Canadian furniture company that brings adaptable, high quality furniture to everyday living spaces. And probably everybody that's listening is thinking, oh, how can I up the ante in my home? The whole family's coming around for Christmas. I've got people coming in. People are dropping in for a holiday party.

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