Toni and Ryan - Toni Forgot To Shave Something

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

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It was awkward, embarrassing, but also lovely. Did you cry? I was like, you know what I think would make me feel really, really good? If I went and got my nails done. She just like, gestures for me to my feet on the thing. And she goes, do you shave your... I'm sitting above her, right? And she goes...

And she didn't. I'm Katie from Phoenix, Arizona. I'm Anthony from Sydney, Australia. Hi, I'm Kate from Leningberg, Nova Scotian Canada. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Vancouver, Halloween, oh, hello. Something really horrifying is actually just happened to me. You know, how like in the US of Canada,

Ella in the toilet The water's real high Yeah So I did a wee before And I went to wipe my pusswa And the toilet paper was wet I was like what It had dipped back into my piss

Isn't that the worst thing You've ever heard in your fucking line And then you wiped it onto yourself Well because I It was too like it was already on my body Like it was too late So you dipped It was as if I used a wet

wipe instead of instead of a wet wipe it was my own piece this has happened to be on this trip already as well I'm laughing because I had my foot scraping and I'm sitting on a for those listening we are sitting on a couch in the lounge room of air are you okay do you need me to do it okay hang on we can I need medical attention we're sitting on a couch with my legs crossed because we've got we're in futon mode yeah we are And my foot's up and now it's cramping. And just the thought of Tony wiping her piss with her own piss has really sent my person. Like literally, so I'm on the toilet.

And because you know when something's wet, it's just like cold? Well, yeah, but was it cold? Yeah, because it was like mixed with the toilet water. Oh, of course. Because the water's so high. So like the piss to water ratio is probably like, what, like 80, 20. Like it's probably like only 20% piss because there's so much water in the thing. but like yeah it wasn't good and it didn't feel nice it made me feel like it'd be like

Charles you were nodding have you done this in this house or just in general yeah has happened in this house but was that after a poo yeah so it was shit water on your ball sack oh no like boys don't like wipe their ball sack down after pooing do you not have to oh my god I just can't even imagine the admin yeah do you not have to take care of your balls like after because i've done some you know where shit comes from because i've done some explosive poops when sometimes it like it all gets mixed up lily and i were talking about when you've got like a

really heavy period and your period poohs are hell fucked and they kind of get mixed together and that's pretty fucked uh also let it be known that the toilet in charles and i's bathroom is by a window and the curtain doesn't fully close and we were just like, we, I. We were up there earlier.

I was just sitting there doing my biz watching the neighbour in the backyard. Yeah. And so yeah, I think that as you can assume, Ryan and Charles is sharing a bathroom, Lily and I sharing a bathroom. And Charles. Actually, Charles has been in our bathroom as well.

Yeah, there was a bit of commotion in the girls' bathroom last night, including Charles, Lily and Tony at the same time. Charles was actually there first. Then Tony came in after me. He hid behind the door so that I would start getting undressed before I'd realize he was there. Is that right?

He's been a real cock in the hen house. That's what I'll say. Literally. There's been a fox amongst the pigeons. So when Lily, you heard that Charles and Tony were doing a commotion in the bathroom, why did you get involved? What about me?

Well, the door was close and there was a lot of commotion going on. So I just knocked. And then Charles hid behind the door again. right and Tony pretended it was just her so I don't know what was going on I didn't I wouldn't but why would that still make it okay so it's only Tony all good turn around

so then we were all in there with dog clothes and we'd all had a melatonin so we were a bit silly yeah we're trying to fight off the jet lag and we had a we had a little gummy not a CBD gummy like a melatonin gummy I only realised today that the gummies aren't that no it's not CBD

Yeah. They're just melatonin. Like, it's all, it's all above board. Yeah. Even though CBD, obviously, is above board in Canada. In, we're in town. What I have to say, though, is that, like, the weed thing, because as an Aussie is just so crazy to me that people are just like smoking weed.

It's like, I, like, I love it. As someone who I don't smoke weed, but I have in the past, I love. Oh, oh, call it daily mail. but like obviously I've smoked weed before but I don't like I haven't in like I couldn't even tell you the last time I smoked weed but like did the live stream in Vancouver by the water where the trees were yeah so many people watching the live stream locals I go oh that's my weed spot yeah and I was like oh like hot and cool whatever and then I was like oh no it's legal here yeah like that's actually so sweet

we know it was a lot of people's weed spot because we could smell it we got contact high Tony calls it contact hi I call it secondhand stoned yeah what do you call it when you're getting wasted on someone else's supply what are you called

um it's nice iPad we've got iPads Charles had to set them up for us and I said can I please have a pink iPad and he said yes and then he got Ryan a pink part as well

we're holding iPads and Tony's like we have we can't not talk about it well I just want to talk about it because I think it's so sick. And then I said, could I download some shows on this for the plane? And Charles said, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

Yeah, it's your iPad. It's like if you keep saying iPad, I'm going to kill myself. You actually paid for it as well. I'm going to say, you paid for this iPad. You can do whatever you want.

As a gift, Charles. It was like, have we talked about this on the pod because I had a meeting with another guy called Ryan? I had a meeting with guy called Ryan and Tony goes, oh, did you talk about it? I was doing comedy.

Are you doing comedy now? Constantly. But it's just like, we have to talk. No, but I just want to acknowledge the iPad. It feels really different. I also love not using my laptop, which feels so big and whatever. This is great. Although I will say the, every time I've ever done a podcast with an iPad, I've had a cramp in my foot.

That's not good odds. Coincidence? you tell me and we don't want to get conspiracy adjacent as you know but sorry let me just have a sip of this enormous drink I welcome to North America

where the small coffees are fucking huge it's just a milkshake like you can't convince me that this isn't a treat from a fair yeah that this isn't a carnival treat you're going to come with the show back it was in the show back um

it's a Tuesday so these are tough confession Around the world Global Edition I've been doing imaging I made you that music bed the other day Thank you Yeah

I'm in my radio era We heard a song What was it Bang bang bang by Mark Romson And the Business Collective Charles had never heard it before He's a laser And I said

If I still worked in radio I would use this instrumental As a music bed And Tony goes Say no more And I went, I don't work in radio. And she goes, I'll get it done for you. I said, I'll do that tonight.

So in my room, on my laptop, in my bed, I'm fucking. She's back on the tools, baby. I'm back on the tools. So if anybody needs music bed, you hit you go up. Maybe it's because we were in, um, uh, we did the breakfast show with Nat and Drew here in Vancouver. Move 103.5. 104.5?

Yeah. And we're just back in radio mode. Oh. I saw a panel. What playback system were they using? It wasn't one that I'd I'd never seen it before And I was gonna ask

And I was like No You know like shopped up Then we'll end up talking about it Yeah Anyway These are talking about These are some confessions

Around the world Global Edition Hi Tony and Ryan Charles We're making a podcast You fucking burko He's having a milkshake Sorry did you hear that

I don't do that The bottom of the straw My Jesus Christ Fuck Bring the guy on to it. I actually took the lid off so that it wasn't like hitting the side of the lid. Charles is like over there smoking weed and just like drinking a weird drink. Smoking weed, making noise on the show, making us buy our own iPads.

It's honestly disgusting. Just having his way with. He's run out of swipes on Tinder. I was going to say he's having his way with the locals after hours. In this home probably. Well, I've heard some bathroom chat from the girls' bathroom. Apparently there's two girls in there There's a cock in the henhouse

Yeah What'd you call me In the house Hi Tony and Ryan I hope you're enjoying Canada We are As you can tell Now this

Oh my god How do I use an iPad Yeah so I didn't foresee this issue This is part of the reason why I said I think we should bring up The fact we're using the iPads Ryan's not going to know

How to use an iPad Well I don't need the keyboard right now And it's taking up precious screen space bottom right there should be like a thing to put the keyboard down you just press it and it goes yeah how do I get it back you just click on the screen whenever you want it

I'll see it I miss it now so what do you press let me try that bottom is in the corner oh oh geez I love Canada that's wonderful

yeah is that a local feature it's actually not it works in both Canada and Australia I don't know if it's international Are you telling me it works Around the world Global edition No I actually said

I only worked in those two spots Because I don't know I haven't taken them to other spots We'll know next week Because we're we in Spoiler Well it turns out Vancouver's really close to the border.

We're going south of the border to America. To the IM's. Americas. I was going to say something hilarious. What was it? I don't know what's never happened before. Around the world. Global edition.

Charles, stop drinking that. He's thirsty from plowing all the Vancouver bitches. I didn't use the straw this time. Oh, that's what I was going to say. It wasn't hilarious at all. I'm moving to Kitts Solano. Oh my God. In Vancouver.

Kitt's Beach, Kitt's pool, Kitt's fucking pub. I live there. We have been there 100% of the time. Like every single day. And it's fucking awesome. It's my new personality. I have just given up on washing my hair. Do you know?

Yeah, fuck that off. I just couldn't give a fuck. No. Yeah. Tony doesn't wash her hair when she's... In Canada. Have you ever washed your hair in Canada? I have

I've been here twice before I've been to Canada more times than Japan Oh Oh These are top travel confession I've been to Toronto The same amount of times that I've been to Tokyo That's crazy

And we aren't talking about it nearly enough That is crazy That's actually insane I've been to Canada more times than I've been to Brisbane Two more times One more time I've been to Brisbane twice

That's why it's like Yeah It's just tipped me over Do you know what I mean? I've been to Canada I've been to Canada more times than I've been to the dentist In the last four years

I reckon Oh my God, I haven't been wearing my retainers. Oh, no. That's going to really hurt. Yeah, they're in my... For the past four years. No, no, no, no, since we've been away. Oh, that's going to hurt so much when I put them in.

Yeah. Okay. We'll have an update tomorrow. These are top confessions. Around the world. Global edition. Hi, Tony and Ryan. I hope you're enjoying Canada.

We are. When Torbs met Tony. you don't need an iPad for this I can see someone else typing in our shared document and it gave me just a little bit of stress sorry you don't need the iPad for this I know sorry do you want to put over here

no I got it I'm just got to hide the keyboard I know how to do that in Canada but not in America yet when Torbs met his opening pickup line was have you ever come so hard you shit yourself i'm a tarpa and i have a confession i have come so hard you shit yourself i've come close in this house not in this house

nah back in uni sorry did you hear that lily goes oh oh lily was offended she thought She was doing her best work in the bathroom. Long two months. Back in uni, I dated a girl who lived with her very wealthy family on, you know those like estates that back onto a golf course? Oh my God. After church, she and I went for a swim where things got a little bit handsy in the water. Hot.

We decided to be risky and do the hanky-panky on the secluded eighth hole. of the golf course I'm showing my eye though because the golf course is closed on Sundays for church like it's you know they don't they don't

isn't wouldn't Sunday be a great golf day that's what I would have thought but in this community that's nope Sundays is religious time and we don't do anything it's the Lord's Day

it's the Lord's Day so they knew that there were going to be no one coming around the course so they're like let's go around except for you know a couple of them obviously yeah I'll be coming around the

now I'm just going to read this next sentence this is no editorial on my part I'm just reading the confession from the tarpa. Okay. I was in the classic missionary position giving her a grade A weinering. Weinering. Oh, is it bad? But that makes me hungry for a hot dog.

Yeah. Oh. Straight up. No, okay. Straight up. We get hot dogs on Uber Eats here. Yum. Do you know where I think that they do a hot dog at that little food truck above the kits pool?

you know that was first one where they had like those chicken sandwiches a hot dog and a burrito I think is where that couple was whistling at me when I was wearing my budgie smugglers yeah when you did your sexy pose yeah it was very good stuff and they they gave you a big cheer you get me a pump up yeah it was very nice as I was about to come it took me a snack at the pool yesterday when you're about to come yeah I was getting a hot dog at the greenering give a grade weinering yep as I was about to come it released and it

released oh he shit himself yeah yeah like that has that ever shit on a golf course like fully shot out the back like because he was like this because the whole body just like ah totally and and of it went yep have that has that ever happened to you have i have i ever come so hard I shit myself. You want to? It hasn't happened to me, but what I will say is, like, I get it. I've come close, for sure. No, but there's been a time where I've had to, like,

like, concentrate on not shitting myself. Oh, totally. Yeah. The other week, actually, that happened to me. Like, it's happened recently. But he was just so in the zone. He was just like, I'm just fucking, yeah. I eat hot.

It fully shot out the back. Love a man that gives it all. You know. Fully shot out the back and covered like a square meter of grass. The green was no longer green. Unfortunately, the only thing available to wipe was her mother's burberry towels from the pool. I've done a torbs and a Ryan in the same awful moment. Two men I laugh.

Hi, I'm Katie from Phoenix, Arizona. I'm Anthony from Sydney, Australia. It's Kate from Lunarberg. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J. Mars and Devney Perry,

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is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca. Little warning, you may develop unrealistic expectations of real-life people and that's okay. That's fine, totally fine. A massive shout-out from Vancouver to a few of our champions have us over at our Patreon, Ali G, into house. Kitty love. Come on, kitty love. Just last year

It's gonna be a long Tuesday, folks I'm funny in Vancouver You are Brandon Rudolph The Red Nose, right dear Not all of these other songs Amber Martinez Bradley, good on your Amber Yeah, what's her song?

A and B, into halls Little Rap Daniel Almeraz Huh? Your rap name's Little Rap Did I tell you that on Slack my um like chat with you and lily from work it comes up whenever you one of you guys message it and it comes up on my phone it comes up like so we call lily lil she goes by lil and it comes up on

my phone little ryan john and every time it makes me piss and i realized that i because i was like i wonder if you guys are seeing this and i was like no you wouldn't be because for you it would come up Lil Tony. No, it's actually, this might hurt your feelings. What? It comes up as Tony Lil. Why would it hurt my feelings? Because it doesn't come around the right way. Oh, I don't get a rap name. You don't get to be a rapper. Um, he's a rapper. Um, and for Lily, it would be like Tony Ryan. Yeah. Oh, I know that show. I work for that. Yeah. Oh, I'm in that podcast. It's quite good do it um um um daniel almerz which reminds me of the guy like dan like who's that guy jason moraz i'm yours mr a to z hey hilarious that's the name of his album mr no well jason maraz

wouldn't be would it mr a to z mara oh is it really cool that um i mean could be Hannah, good on you. And Millie West. Love to see it, Millie. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. W-E-ST. Millie out west. Not that I know what that means really in Vancouver, but I know what it means in Melbourne.

Yeah, but going out west, obviously, Melbourne's not. Tony prefers it when you go down south. Yeah, I do. I do. This is you, mate. No, no, no, sorry, I was just about to do a little plug to Patreon is more what I was getting at. Oh, right. And then you said you love when people go down south and I just started thinking about that.

Inside of our Patreon, though, Charles has been vlogging our trip. So over the next little while, so we do have a bit more of a trip planned after we leave Vancouver. So you'll be able to see all of our travels and a few little random bits and pieces. We're going to do a live stream for Champion Tarpers in. LA this week. This Friday? This Friday. L.A.

L.A. time. L.O. time. L.A. time. California love. What are we doing for the life? Do we have we decided yet? Oh, did I not tell you what the plan is? No, but Charles sent something in the group that was gummy related.

Oh, no, that's not the plan. We're not used to this shit being legal. No, I know. And it's just like, we're like kids and it's just like real funny. Yeah, it is fun. Well, no, one of the ideas that I had was that because we have a pull it out. house in L.A. Yeah.

And I said, Oh, the hands stand competitions. Which I think is quite fun. I think we should do the handstand competition and we should encourage people to do their own handstands. Yeah. I love that.

And like, or maybe if they, now that we've got a week's notice or a few days notice, can anyone, can people like submit their pool handsstands? I'd love to say it. Everyone in North America, it's summer, Northern Hemisphere. You can't send a video. But if you do one, tag us on Instagram story

We'll see it Send them through and we can play them, can't we? You can't send a video Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't send a video in Patreon. So true. Yeah. I just want to see some people's handstands.

No, no, but if you tag us on your Instagram story, we'll see it. Anyway, so because we had a bit of a trip plan, as we kind of all do, We like to primp and preen before we head off on like a trip or a holiday or whatever. Have you felt my back? And I have. It's like a dolphin. Thank you.

It's like... Hang on. I don't know how I'm even sitting here. Yeah, slide right away. She's got no grip. Yeah, I know. How'd have people do it? And so you got a back crack and sack, which is lovely.

Just a back. Have you ever got your crack or you sack done? Nah. When you do your back, they'll like get the top of your crack. Yeah. But getting actually in there, that sounds terrifying. Would you get your bull sack done? I don't think I'd be brave enough

Yeah it would Because the skin's so thin And elasticy Like your ball sack Well Just general The ones I've seen So yeah

Yours Well mine are Because I wipe them every time And I poop a lot You do Spoilerly I got a good You'll love to say it coming up

Oh great You guys were there at that restaurant Oh okay No So I was kind of like Well I'll go get my eyebrows done and I got a hair cut and I was like, and literally, do you get a back sack and crack?

I didn't. I don't get my back waxed. No. No, I've only, I've had my puss waxed once and I did quite like it. But the girl who did it, she was awesome. And then her salon closed down and I've been too scared to. You're like, she was my girl. Well, I've been too scared to try another place because she was so gay.

And it's obviously a pretty light. You got to feel comfortable with them. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, and it, like, they're staring at your pusswa. Yeah. It's, yeah. It feels more intimate almost than actually having sex with someone because they're not staring at your genial. Well, if they're not, they're not doing it, right? So true. Um, looking me third eye. Anyway, um, so, oh, okay. We'll take a break. Put some more ads in here.

I'm on the clock, man. Anyway, so, um, literally. So, um, literally. literally the day before we go on the plane, I was like, you know what I think would make me feel really, really good if I went and got my nails done. Yep. And so I just like went to Northland and I was like, oh, I'll just go and see if I get lucky. We've been at the office all day and we were recording, getting ready for leaving, like, packing stuff because we obviously had to pack all the gear up and stuff like that. And I'd been at the office and I was wearing crooks and socks. all day. And so I was like, oh, am I feet going to be like a bit sweaty and stinky

to go and get a pedicure? Yeah. Because I was like, I'll get my fingers done. Then I was like, you know what? Treat yourself. I'll get my hooves done as well. And I'm wearing socks so that people don't talk about my feet on the internet. But Tony has a wiki feet page. You can go and check it out. I do. And my toes are not done in any of those photos. But so I was like, I'll get my hooves done and I'm sitting in the car and I was like fuck they're going to be probably sweaty they're probably going to be a bit stinky like that's probably not ideal they're used to that they do a little wipe down to start you know so you can do like a full petty where they like put your feet in the water and stuff like that but do you like have to do it for medical purposes

almost because your feet smelled like well I didn't not but I just I knew that they were a bit sweaty yeah and because you know when you're like going for an appointment that you've planned or made an appointment for you kind of like think about those things yeah because i hadn't made an appointment i was just going to try my luck on the way home from work i hadn't like welcome to the good life sweetheart well yeah so i hadn't thought about anything i hadn't playing anything and i get in the car and i kick my crocs off and take my socks off and put the aircon full tilts on the foot on the foot yeah yeah and i was like that is so smart from me like self-high-five amazing yeah foot five foot five low five um the lowest yeah um that's that's a great hat so i was like

that feels pretty good anyway so i i get to northland and i um walk i walk into the thing and i was like oh any chance for like hand and feet they're like absolutely we've totally got got room for you and i was like fuck yeah i sit up in the thing and she goes do you mind rolling your jeans up and i was like oh i've not shaved my legs like which like fine who you're It's winter in Australia, who gives a fuck? He gives a fuck. But I'm like, okay, so I'm like, pulling my jeans up over my legs, and I'm like, oh, my God, my legs is so hairy.

And then I realize as well that because I haven't shaved my legs, I also haven't shaved my toes. Do you shave your toes? Yeah, because remember, in primary school, someone, in high school, someone said to me, like, did you know that if you have hairy toes, it means that we know you've got pubs? And I was like, so I shaved my toes.

then because I started, then you can't stop. Like, it's like Pringles. So because that lady said that thing for the last 20 years you've been shaving your toes. Yeah. And now I'm in this hole so deep where like, you know, I've started now. Each toe would have its own little mustache. Oh, yeah. It's like I'm doing Movember year round 10 times.

Anyway, so, um, I, like I'm just, and I'm like, fuck who, they would see this all the time. Who cares? It's not a big deal. Anyway, um, I'm seeing. By the way, her fiance's. not on this trip so if anyone's turned on by the last five minutes of chat she's available hey he's sitting right there um anyway um so i she's like oh yeah like roll up your jeans and like hop in the

thing and whatever and then you kind of sit there with your feet in the water for a bit yeah and then they just like tap the little cushion at the end and like gesture you to like put your feet on there they dry them off and then they start doing the thing she just like taps the little cushion just just for me my feet on the thing and she looks to my feet and she goes do you shave your toes

and I went normally well this girl in when I was younger said that I got bullied and so now thanks for bringing it up she goes do you shave your toes

I go I go oh yeah normally like dry and I'm like laughing because I'm like embarrassed yeah normally she goes she didn't she goes she's on the ground.

I'm sitting above her, right? And she goes, oh, you're beautiful. And then does the thing as if to be like, I'm fucking engaged, mate. Well, no, but almost as if to be like, you don't have to worry. Like, it was awkward, embarrassing, but also lovely. It sounds beautiful. It was really nice. And she's like, looking at all my tattoos.

on my leg she's like oh they're so beautiful and she's like asking me because i have like um like tattoos on my feet as well she's like asking what they mean like all she was so lovely but literally like the pity in her eyes i was like beautiful like you're beautiful you don't need to shave your toes i was like thank you i thought you were going to say she was like oh we do that as a service do you want me to wax them for you i could take care of that for you imagine if she just didn't ask me she's like i'll just take care of it yeah just do the thing go the fucking rough bits off the side and then all yeah little you know how you see those things like those little like comb but they're like little razor things like the derm applying

yeah yeah she's like oh and she just does it she uses the toenail clipper to clip the hairs off oh is that weird is that what you do no that's not what i do oh fuck no that's not what i do Tony. Yeah. You know what I know about this lady? That she's right. Oh, thank you. You are beautiful.

So beautiful. I think it was the power dynamic. And that's coming from a guy who knows that you wiped your fan with your own piss. And I still think you're beautiful. I appreciate that. It was just the pity. You're beautiful. The pity on her face of like.

like oh you're beautiful and then that started blank james blan was there he walked around the corner um but literally she's like oh oh like she sounds lovely and she was she was so lovely and then she like did my hands as well and like she's like oh your ring is so beautiful like she was so fucking nice um but yeah and then she up oh beautiful like it's just like etched into my mind like the like that is beautiful um that is but yeah and i but my biggest story was my stinky feet and she wasn't worried about that at all she doesn't mind but if you haven't planned on getting a pedicure and then you get one i highly recommend the aircon on full tilt on feet that is a great call yeah that is a great call if there's anything we've learned today it should be that

yeah that's a great hack do they have an armpit height one for when you get your armpits done no just we need to layer out oh you know oh yeah you can probably hold it up to the Open the window. Oh, the original. The O.G. Yeah, the OJ. I've got a love to see it. Now, I'm never going to pronounce this correctly.

Tony may or may not be able to pronounce this correctly, but my love to see it is Nenamo bars. Because don't they hit the fucking spot. Nanaimo? Nanaimo. I don't think that's it. They're a delicacy here in Canada. I don't know if it's a Vancouver thing or a Canadian thing, but we...

I think it's a Nenamo thing. It's a place called Nenamo. And they make bars, the coconut cream on the inside, the little crunchy chocolate on the outside. Well, the bottom is like chocolate and coconut like base. Yeah. Have you got the ingredients there, Charles? I do not. But the Nenamo bars are actually named after a Canadian city of Nenamo and it's here in B.C.

That's what I just said. Yeah. Great job, Tony. Thanks for listening. He was just confirming that you're right. And in them, it has got one cup of butter. five tablespoons of unsweeted cocoa powder, a quarter of a cup of white sugar,

one large egg, one and a quarter cups of cracker crumbs, one cup of flaked coconut, half a cup of finely chopped almonds, optional, three tablespoons of heavy cream, two tables to sauce powder. I'm over that. I'm over that.

I've got a question. I know that you love to say, it's the Nanaimo Bar, and I'm hearing you 1,000% because I had my first one, absolutely beautiful. what do you think is your favourite slice

I am anyone's bitch for a caramel slice oh come yeah nice answer that's a great fucking answer yeah like it's a bit because it's a bit gooey

and then they've got the little crumbs and stuff and the crack of the top chocolate that can do me right Like when you're in a nice place and you get a nice coffee and they go, you don't want a caramel sauce online you go. Oh, yeah. Nah, caramel slice fucks. Where did we see the vanilla slices the other day?

Oh, I was with Bridget. This guy, we were at a cafe. Wrong one. No, but this guy, this guy made vanilla slice. The chef had come out and put him in the thing fresh and they were just so big and fat. Stacked. Yeah. Oh, actually, for those playing along at home, it was at Watson's Creek on the way to the Yarra Valley.

Yes. Yeah. I can't remember what it's called. It's near Nillambique Estate, but the vanilla slices were fucking... Did you have one? I mean, we almost said to the... There was like a couple old ladies having a cupper.

Yeah. And we were like, hey ladies, how about you, me, my daughter and bridge share one? Yeah, because they're like so tall as well.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But do you like... Yeah, What's your favourite slice? I love a vanilla slice.

I love a caramel slice as well. But my favourite is hedgehog. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I would fucking suck anyone off for a hedgehog.

Great, because I've got one. Yeah, what about the slides? And I have, actually, can I do two more you love to see it? Yeah. My other you love to see it is the Italian restaurant, which is... No. Somewhere between this downtown Vancouver and Dunbar where our Airbnb is. because after having the Nenamo bar

and then another coffee and then with the Fragilico and the whipped cream The whipped cream We were literally, because I could see it on the screen 12 minutes from home and I was like I am not going to make it I'm not going to make it And fair enough too

I was full of Nenamo Good on you for advocating for your own self and your boughs Probably could have advocated three minutes earlier because I was... Were you touching, touching cloth Yeah, I was sweating, and then I ran into this Italian restaurant, and I just said, and like, they could see it in my eyes. Yeah.

I didn't even have to ask. I was like, excuse me, I'm so sorry to ask. And she goes, yeah, just down the back. And, you know, after you hopped out of the car, I said, I was like, oh, he'd been quiet for a bit. Yeah. Like, you obviously were feel, like. It just hit me. Yeah.

And it does. It does. It does. And, um. So what about that? That is a, you love to see it? The lady who worked, the lady who worked there. If you don't mind, am I asking?

No, the lady in there was like, so lovely. She just is fine. Because sometimes, you're not, I'm not here to buy anything. They can be a bit of a dick. And she didn't like, oh, if she was just like so lovely. It's just there. Yeah. That's Canada.

That's Canada. Yeah. That's Canada. That's that Canada espresso. Wow. Um, I've got a love to see. Oh, did you have another one? Um, it's just because you had talked about the name.

And I said, this is you'll have to see when it happened last night. Lillia also had her nails done. Yes. And one of the nails has little smiley faces on it. And she gave me, because we got like hot chips and chicken last night, she passed me a hot chip with a nail with a smiley face. And I was like, is this not? It's great customer service.

I was like, does it get any better? A chip and a smile. A chip and a smile. Oh, out of hedgehog and I'm anyone. Just like, I just love Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah. Tony

Well, I don't know I feel like I can't follow those nine you love to see it And the chat about fucking caramel slice and stuff But I just saw this This review online of Outback Steakhouse And Just the taste of home Yeah, yeah, I'm really miss in Australia

And this woman has given it one star And she's and I cry, no It's a hate cry There's terrorism. Oh, my goodness. Or don't say the T-word on YouTube. And this woman, one star, her name's Diana, she said, I'm absolutely livid. My husband drove all the way to pick up our Outback Steakhouse order, and you people forgot the blooming onion.

That was the only thing I wanted. Two minutes later. Another review from Diana, five stars. My fat husband. I ate a bloomin' onion in the car and lied about it. I'm really sorry, but I don't know how to delete reviews. Well, hey. Diana, it happens to the best.

It really does. And you know what? It also takes a mature person to put their hand up and say, I now have new information. I was lashing out. New information has reached me. And I am willing to receive the new information and change my mind. I'm surprised that there isn't a third one that says, sorry, ex-husband.

Or the husband has a review. One star steals bloomin onions. Yeah. All right. Thank you so much for joining us. Tomorrow we will be back on this couch. We're in Vancouver for a couple of days. If we're not on this couch or in the kits pool or asleep, what are we doing?

Yeah. Na'Imo. How far is Nanaimo, the town, Charles, do we know that? Oh, sorry, you told us how many eggs were in the fucking bars a minute ago. Yeah. It is three hours and three minutes. It's like a boat ride across. It looks like it's on the other side. Okay, so absolutely fucking not.

We won't be in a night on. Charles, get my seaplane. Oh, you can drive, actually. You can drive a different way. It just takes three hours, 41 minutes. Hang on. So it takes three hours to fly there and three hours 41 to drive there. A boat.

It was a boat. I think it's a car and sea plane. Do you have that option on Google Maps? There's that option. Press the seaplane button. It says can't seem to find a way that when I click the plane option. Yeah, because you don't have... Ryan just messages his guy and he normally tells him how much it's going to be.

Hello, sea boat. Are you available? Sea boat. Seaplane? Well, all boats are sea boats. Well, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever thought about naming a boat now that you're a dad?

Dad's naming boats. That'd be funny. I've never thought of that. Ever once before. We're going to be back tomorrow. It's a Wednesday. Love you. What's on tomorrow's show?

Oh, let me tell you what's on tomorrow show. Okay. The iPad's on to fucking do a mighty work on you. I just need to close the key. The keyboard. Oh, it's twisted. Tomorrow. The most Canadian news stories that ever did Canadian.

Oh. Because you know how Canadians are the fucking lovely as people on in the world? I have seen it, yeah. These news stories will just like melt your heart. I love it. We'll be back tomorrow. Love you. Full of cream and full of dreams.

Oh. That is nice. Like that. Love you. Sea plans are only $59. Oh. Live from the name-o. Love you, bye you.