Toni and Ryan - Toni Has a New Bad Boy
Episode Date: October 30, 2024A surprise for Ryan! And for me.. And Taubs... Love ya!!! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @to...nilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan.
This is Dr.
Arthur Tony Lodge.
Hello.
Now we're calling Nick Rocker.
How would you pronounce his town there in Canada?
Mississauga.
Mississauga.
I thought it was like Missanger.
You can try that if you want.
Like the teacher that always brings the sausage sandwich.
Oh, Missanger's in the town.
Oh yeah, Missanger.
All right, let's give him a buzz.
It's Mississauga. Miss yeah, oh Miss Sanger. All right, let's give him a buzz.
It's Missa-soga.
Missa-soga.
Missa-soga.
I'm learning so much more about geography
doing these approvals than I ever did at school.
Yeah.
Did you do geography at school?
Well, you do it in like, SOS.
Yeah.
SOS is a word that the rest of the world
doesn't understand, but I do.
Oh, S and E?
Society, environment?
B and E? What's environment? B and E?
What's that?
Bacon and eggs, yum.
I meant...
Break and enter.
I want to come in, I want to come in and raise a box.
Well, is it Ryan's or Tony's?
Which box are you coming in? Nick, make your mind up.
Both.
Both?
Oh, that's actually really sweet.
We need that today, Nick.
Now, Nick, can you tell us how to pronounce your town name?
Because we're in all sorts over here.
It's called Mississauga.
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-A-U-G-A.
I was close.
I said Mississauga.
I said Mississauga.
So, you know, I feel like we're both sort of close.
Yeah, I would say so.
Okay.
Now, in your little note here, it said, I could kick your butt in the personal information
page.
Are you threatening us, Nick?
Or what's going on there?
Is that because you want to?
Have we done something wrong?
No, I actually have a black belt in Taekwondo.
Yeah.
What a flex just to have that in your background.
Yeah, you just say it to people like Mick did to us.
You've got us, Nick Hulclan and Zinka.
What would Tony need to do to have a black belt
in riding her e-bike?
Cause you know, black belts are such a...
Cause you could like do karate or taekwondo,
but having a black belt is just so like, oh.
Yeah.
What if I had a black belt in driving my car?
I'm pretty good at that. You are good at that. Yeah. I'll I had a black belt in driving my car? I'm pretty good at that.
You're good at that.
Yeah. I'll just say that.
Like I say, I'm a doctor.
What?
For example.
What?
For example.
What?
What?
I've got all that medical advice
and you checked my genitals when I had that rash.
Nick.
And you're like, I'm a doctor.
Nick, will you approve today's episode?
Of course I will approve the episode.
Yay!
Hey, I'm Nick from Mississauga, Canada,
and I approve today's podcast.
["Date Podcast Theme"]
I think it's only fair to start this podcast by sharing what I just shared with Tony and Sophie.
Oh, okay.
And this is my daughter Mabel waving goodbye to poo in the toilet.
Bye.
Bye.
See ya.
See ya poo.
See ya. Bye as shit. Yeah. Bye. Bye. See ya. See ya poo. See ya.
Bye ya shit.
Yeah.
You know, your shit.
Your shit.
Bye.
Hey shit.
Bye.
Bye you big poo.
Yeah.
That's what I say to you at the end of every day.
Bye you big poo.
Bye you big poo.
But that's Mabel saying goodbye to a poo and I watch that most nights before I go to bed
and I just go, oh, she's beautiful.
That's quite sweet.
Yeah.
Today we're doing normal or not.
We're doing normal or not.
We're doing normal or not.
We're doing normal or not. We're doing normal or not. We're doing normal or not. Um, but, um, that's Mabel saying goodbye to a poo and I watched that most nights before I go to bed and I just go, oh, she's beautiful.
That's quite sweet.
Yeah.
Um, today we're doing normal or nah, and I've got a Halloween edition and this is,
well, it's just one Halloween one, but-
Because it is a spooky day.
This, I think we need to discuss this before people go trick or
treating this afternoon.
Oh, yep.
Cause I don't want to sway the jury, but it's a big fucking nah from me.
Oh no.
Lindsay.
A bit of editorial from you on it already being a nah.
Lindsay.
Hi Lindsay.
Siblings dressed up as a couple.
Normal or nah.
I've never seen both of you dip your heads.
Nah, agree.
Our friends who are brother and sister are dressed up as Ali and
Noah from the notebook.
Not only are they a couple, it's like quite an explicit relationship.
Yeah.
You know, it's not like, Oh yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's like a, and they wouldn't even get that.
No.
You know, this for some reason made me think.
No.
Oh, oh, sorry.
I thought something had gone terribly wrong.
Yeah.
You haven't done that in the past.
Have you?
So, um, I think they're thinking of cruel intentions.
That's worse.
Yeah.
To me it is cruel intentions to do that.
To me, it is cruel intentions to do that.
Cass on the Patreon says, sorry, but I have dream chat, which is interesting, which is interesting to bring into normal on.
I had a dream that people kept trying to hand me something and I'd just like go in for the hug.
It happened like three and get shut down.
And it happened like three or four times in one dream.
But now in real life, I'm like still really embarrassed about what I did.
Like it's secondhand embarrassment says Cass, but for myself,
dream as well.
Does anyone else get this being embarrassed about your dream?
Like, is it normal or am I a freak and nah?
I think normal whilst the embarrassment I think is very real.
I've had like secondhand anger from a dream.
Like, you know, when you dream that someone does something to you,
or you know, like one of the classics is like dream that your partner cheats on you
and you wake up in the morning and go, so you don't fucking love me.
And they go, what?
Like, what have I done? And I go, well, in a dream and go, so you don't fucking love me. And they go, what?
What have I done? And I go, well, in a dream last night, you did this and I can't believe you would do that to me.
What has Torb done?
Oh, he's cheated on me.
Really?
Actually, only the other night.
I hate to once again, bring up dream chat, but in a dream, the other night, Torb's broke
out with me and left me in a restaurant.
In a restaurant?
He was like, I don't.
Which restaurant? I don't remember.
Which restaurant?
I don't remember.
Was that one where you had to slide out butt first and to the other table?
Because if he dumps you there and then you can't leave?
I can't get out.
I have to wait for the people next to me to leave.
That would be the ultimate getaway.
Yeah, because I can't get out.
Nah, he broke up with me and then was like, yeah, I just like can't do this and left me
in the restaurant.
And then I got back to our house and I was like, well, you know, I've given you a bit
of a time alone.
Like, do you want me to go or like, well, and he's like, I think you can't do this.
I'm like, I'm not going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. like, can't do this and left me in the restaurant. And then I got back to our house and I was like, well, you know, I've given you a
bit of a time alone, like, do you want me to go or like, well, and he's like, I
think he can leave, but he was like, yeah, I think that would be best.
And I left the house and he had PIPA and I was really upset and yeah.
And I woke up and I was like, I couldn't like shake it off.
And I am a bit of like an energy sponge.
So if I let myself feel bad about something, I like can't let it go.
So for that, I was like, I felt this very real feeling and now I just couldn't
brush it off and like for the whole morning, we were just a bit miffed.
It was like two days.
Really?
I was really hurt by it.
When was this?
Um, oh, like last weekend.
Oh, not so not the weekend gone, like the weekend before that.
And it just like really like stuck with me.
Yeah.
And he was like, well, I didn't like, he's like, dream me as an asshole.
Like I'm not, he's like, I'm not going to break up with you.
I was like, you're not going to break up with me.
And he was like, I'm not going to break up with you.
Yeah.
So maybe he will because he'll be so annoyed about hearing about these dreams.
Yeah, maybe.
Is that, is that the definition of irony or what's that mean?
I think it's probably like unsupportive as my best friend that while I'm telling
you that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So irony, maybe not, but just being a dick, maybe.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're similar.
So when you had to leave, did I invite you around?
Did you stay at my place?
I can't, I don't know what I did.
I feel like I just- The spare rooms there. No,'t know what I did. Because the spare room's there.
No, I know. Thank you.
As your best friend, you come over,
I'll get some ice cream, we'll talk it out.
That's really sweet.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
You've redeemed yourself.
Actually, I'm gonna redeem myself even further.
And if you don't like this, then redact it.
Okay.
But this is what I would do for you.
Okay.
Because I love TOBS, but if I had to choose, I would choose you a hundred times out
of a hundred. Yeah. Cause you need to pay your mortgage. I don't think it's like,
yeah, no, we get it. Yeah. No, we get it. I multiple reasons.
What are you going to do TOBS and Ryan the podcast? I'd be shocking.
That would be so bad. Um, this is what I would do for you in a breakup.
So I've called you and I've said TOBS has just broken up with me.
Yeah. You come around, we're doing the ice cream, the chat. Just like let it out, babe. Tell me how you feel.
Yeah. And then later that.
And then you put your dick in my mouth.
That's not what I need right now.
I mean morning. That's not what I meant at all.
Okay. Good.
Did you want that though?
I probably would because I'm feeling vulnerable.
Yeah. I would jump over your back fence and steal pipper for you.
I would dog nap that little princess because if you lost your partner, you're not losing her as well.
And I would, I would fight for her for you.
I actually do really appreciate that.
That's okay.
Fuck you Torbs.
I'm taking the dog.
Dumbass.
God that is spooky.
Halloween chat.
Wow.
So I just got carried away and scrolled by four pages ahead.
Oh great.
There's a normal on that in three weeks.
Christmas normal on that.
Oh, actually Christmas normal on that.
Where are we at with a real Christmas tree?
Normal on that. Lona, where are we at with a real Christmas tree? Um, last year I got my first ever real Christmas tree ever.
Yeah.
It was good, but it's like, it's admin.
You have to fucking get it.
You have to pay these girl scouts to come and deliver it.
Yeah.
They're useless.
It's not their prime job.
They're just taking cash on the weekend.
They don't know how to do it either.
Then you have to, yeah.
And cash, you know, uh, then you have to find a stand that fits.
Then you have to screw it in.
Then you have to water the fucking thing.
Like it's, it's an effort.
Like it's effort.
Cause I got this sponsored ad the other day for this place.
And it's like, we come, we drop it off.
We bring the stand, everything.
And then on the very-
A scout's making money here?
Well, no, this is like a different service.
Good, good.
And they like do everything.
You just have to water it for the six weeks
that you've got it or whatever.
You know you're going away for a week?
Uh, oh, great.
A crucial week.
Great point, actually.
Yeah, so I'm going away for-
So instead of like a dog sitter,
I'm gonna need a fucking Christmas tree sitter.
I'm going away, yeah, I'm going away for a fucking Christmas tree. I'm going away. Yeah.
I'm going away for two weeks.
Yeah.
And I've just realized that Bridget's parents are coming to like house it dog
sit, but what they're really doing, I've just realized looking after the real
Christmas tree Christmas tree sitting.
And this is kind of the time where this admin needs to begin.
I feel like the end of October, you kind of go, all right, what are
we doing in a month for our tree?
But aren't you a first of December gal?
I am. Yes. True and fucking true.
Yeah. So you don't get to December and go, okay, what am I doing? It's like,
I've already got my color scheme organized, et cetera.
Okay. Yeah. So, but you're thinking going real.
I am thinking of going real because-
It smells beautiful. You walk into the house and go,
because you know what?
Can you smell it? You still got long COVID.
No, I still got long COVID.
Fuck. So you can you smell? You still got long COVID. No, I still got long COVID. Fuck.
Um, I, I am invested.
I'm going to be very careful here.
I invested in our fake Christmas tree last year.
That's right.
Yeah.
How's you looking?
It's not a good tree.
And I'm so devastated because I saved up to buy this particular tree from this
particular business and I'd looked at them online for a really long time.
And I actually was, I'm really disappointed.
And last year I was like, Oh, you know, like, of course they don't
look like they do on the photo.
I actually just sent them an inquiry.
I bought it a year ago.
They have three year warranty.
Yeah. And so I've just sent them an inquiry to I bought it a year ago. They have three year warranty. Yeah.
And so I've just sent them an inquiry to be like, you know what? I'm actually, I spent a lot of money on it.
You'll fight up yesterday. Hey.
Yeah.
Yeah. Cause Tony's not email and ask.
I'm not, especially not a year later. Cause I'm like, well, get over it, bitch. Do you know what I mean?
Like it happened a year ago.
We've got some stuff when we moved in that was like new and two years later, we're like
call them up. It's like we're actually that like, fuck, we've only got a month left of the warranty.
Now's our time. And so I've emailed them. I'll keep you guys updated. Please. Cause I'm actually
just a bit gutted. Cause I'm like, I saved up to buy this thing and it was expensive and it's not
that good. You know how you've been added recently for having a SodaStream and being a rich bitch.
This is fucking. And you said, I think I'm throwing the SodaStream out. expensive and it's not that good. You know how you've been added recently for having a soda stream and being a rich bitch?
This is fucking.
And you said, I think I'm throwing the soda stream out where the soda stream is in that corner. If you got a huge tall real Christmas tree.
That's where our tree was last year.
But like a big dog.
You know where I'm thinking of putting the tree this year?
On Janine?
You know, in that spot at the front door where that big like palm tree is.
Oh, the one we got for work.
Yeah.
Well, it needed to be rehabilitated.
In fairness, it was dying.
Yeah, yep.
But they're like right in the front door.
That is nice.
That's what I was thinking.
That's nice.
Because I just got a PowerPoint put in there,
so I could put my lights on it.
I've really thought about it.
This is my dream home, you know?
I'm like backing it in.
But yeah, so I think I'm gonna come-
Did you only get a PowerPoint put there for a Christmas tree? Yes. Because I was like, well, you know, I'm like backing it in. But yes, I think. Did you only get a PowerPoint foot there for a Christmas tree?
Yes.
Because I was like, well, every year, what am I going to do?
Run an extension cord.
Like that's actually fucking stupid.
I'm not laughing at, I'm just impressed of the forethought that when an electrician
comes around in September, you go, well, where's the Christmas tree going?
Well, because I'm like, I don't-
Where could it go?
Where are the options?
PowerPoint's everywhere.
Well, no, because where it was last year, there's already a PowerPoint.
And where I was like, I think I'm going to put it here this year.
There's a PowerPoint there now, because I just put one in there.
Because I'm like, well, yeah, what am I going to do otherwise?
Run an extension cord?
What a pain.
I had a fever dream that-
Oh, dream chat!
I've had this reoccurring dream all week
that I may have on Monday during a Patreon livestream
promised that I was going to get you a Diet Coke-
Um-
Fountain.
Fountain in your house?
Oh no, that was, that happened, yeah.
Fuck, really?
Yep.
Fuck, where's that going?
And does that need a power outlet?
That's just where I'm getting at.
It definitely will, yeah.
Okay.
It's a high admin gift to give someone.
Yes, it is.
Anyway, normal or nah? Anymore?
Oh, this one's fine. Let's finish with Rachel.
Beautiful. Hi, Rachel.
Sending messages from a deceased person's phone. Normal or nah?
Nah. What the fuck?
On the day of my beautiful mum's funeral, my dad got her phone and texted the
family group chat saying, see you all this afternoon.
Dad uses humor to cope with despair.
That is so fucked.
I thought you'd laugh because I was like, I'll just end on a fun one.
No, that's fucked.
And I'm allowed to say that's fucked because as someone who has been to their own mother's
funeral, I'm allowed to agree that's fucked.
That is wild.
Rachel didn't say on the day if she texted a boy, yeah, you up and get rejected.
She did not mention that.
Yeah, she did.
I'm telling you that she did.
Hey, it's Nick from Mississauga, Canada, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Got a mortgage?
Chances are you're thinking about your payments right now.
Need help?
Ask your bank about
relief measures that may be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash it pays to know.
A message from the Government of Canada. At Algoma University, your future has no limits. Here you
can go further in the classroom, in the field, and well beyond. We provide personalized education, cultural fluency,
and training for in-demand careers.
We don't just prepare you for the future.
We prepare you to change it.
Plus, Algoma has the most affordable tuition in Ontario.
Make the most of your university experience.
Go further.
Apply to Algoma University today.
Further applied Algoma University today.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas on this spooky day.
Um, Will Smith.
God, he really has shot to the fucking bottom of the pack, hasn't he?
Rosie, good on you. Joel Booby, Heather Schmidt, Shane Williams, and Monica Richards.
Absolutely love to see it.
As it is the 31st of October today, you do have one more day to sign up as a champion
tapper if you would like to receive our Tony and Ryan 2025 calendar.
Yeah.
Um, and it is till the first of no midnight, the first of November.
Hawaii time, because that's the last midnight that there is.
So we'll give you until then.
And then, but also cause Tony is like, would you say Hawaii was
just like your spiritual home?
Yeah.
I think there's a bit of me there still.
Yeah.
I mean, there definitely is. Yeah. I think there's a bit of me there still. Yeah. I mean, there definitely is.
Sorry.
Should I say what I was thinking?
You can.
We can redact this.
No, actually I can't.
Oh boy.
Nah, I'm saying.
There's a bit of torps left on the hotel roof as well.
I don't know if any of it got away.
Oh boy.
I know I started it, but you really ended it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Oh, actually, frequently are FAQs.
FAQs. About the calendars.
Yes, we will be hand assigning them, all of them.
We're going to sign all of them.
We got a special silver pen. Very excited.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought a special silver pen. Very exciting. Yeah.
I've bought a special silver pen.
Oh, breaking news.
I bought two special silver pens.
So we've got one each.
It's quite fancy.
Yes, it is nice.
Another FAQ update your address, your postal address inside your account in Patreon.
You can't do it in the app.
I believe Nolan Dresden's given us the update. You cannot update it in the app. You have to do it in the app. I believe Nolan Dresden's given us the update.
You cannot update it in the app.
You have to do it on the actual website.
Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan.
But yes, not in the app, in the actual browser.
There's a question here that says,
Oh, any more limericks?
Yes, is the answer.
That was my question, I submitted that.
Well, actually this is from Jennifer.
She's contributed one.
Oh, hi Jennifer.
There once was a hot chick called Tony who loved
to eat cheese macaroni. That is true. Her lovely chum Ryan saw food started crying because if he
ate it, his ass would be moaning. That's very funny. Can you not have mac and cheese? Oh, there's just like going on there, isn't there?
There's dairy.
Oh, and the gluten in the actual pasta too.
In the mac?
Yeah.
Mac, no, cheese, no.
Can I eat the sprinkly bit on top?
No, that'd be gluten as well.
No, that's panko.
Yeah, that's bread.
Is that panko?
That's how I make it.
If you take nothing away from this episode, take that.
It's that I make a mean fucking mac and cheese.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, as it is October and it is Halloween and it is spooky.
My favorite tattoo shop, the one that I go to all the time, the grand illusion.
Show it off.
They had like a Halloween tattoo flash day.
Fun.
And, and I want to know your thoughts on this Ryan, because normally for a
flash day for anyone that doesn't know,
they basically, normally when you go in and get a tattoo, you kind of talk to
them beforehand about what you want and you're like changing your design and you
can go in and just say whatever you want.
And it's like priced according to like how long it's going to take them, how
detailed is all of those things.
When they have a flash day, they have like a sheet of say 10 tattoos and you
just pick off the sheet.
So you don't get to change what it is, but there's like 10 set ones and you go,
Oh, yep, I'll have that thing that you're doing.
And they go, great.
Sit up there.
Bang.
Yeah.
And they kind of knock them out quickly and it's like set prices.
Yeah.
Um, but. Were they Halloween themed or of knock them out quickly and it's like set prices. Yeah. Um, but-
Were they Halloween themed or was it just a fun different bunch of stuff?
Nah, normally they're like Halloween themed.
So it's like ghosts or pumpkins or spiders or whatever.
Um, and so you go in there, you get to look at all of them and you pick what one you want.
Um, this was a flash day with like a little bit of a twist.
So you, you went in there, right?
And they had a deck of tarot cards.
You put your hands on the cards and every single card had like a hand drawn tattoo design
on it.
And whatever you pulled is what you had to get.
Pick a card, any card.
But you didn't get to see them face up.
You just picked a card at random and that's what you had to get tattooed on you.
And you went to this.
Yeah.
Tony Lodge.
I went.
And did you, and when they pitched this to you, cause you go flash date, cool.
I'll pick my favorite of the 10.
Great.
And then they say, pick a card.
How do you react?
Well, I was like, I think that's really fun.
And like fate's going to decide what I have tattooed on my body.
For the rest of your life.
Yeah.
And like, cause I've got it.
Yeah.
So it's kind of wild and it's kind of untowning.
I love the idea.
And I know you love the idea, but there's the idea and there's like the reality.
Yeah.
Nah.
So it was like, you just like, you got whatever you pulled out.
Have you ever had like a tarot card reader and they're just clearly
like trying to gas you up?
Well, nah.
So, oh, you've got the death card.
That means you won't die for ages.
You know, like everything is the best card.
We only give good news.
Yeah.
But anyway, so I, I thought what a fucking cool idea.
And I have a, so it's covered at the moment because it'll be covered for a
while, but this is what I pulled that that's the tattoo that I got.
And I was really, really like, that's, I was stoked.
It's a girl who has a, like a-
She's covered in bandages.
Covered in bandages.
It's like a, what do you, covered her eyes, a-
Like a blindfold.
A blindfold.
And then she's covered in blood because she's the Justice Card and she's a dangerous girl.
And so the Justice Card is like for balance and like whatever.
So I'm actually really pumped about it.
And I thought it's because you're a detective.
No, because you've got like a hard on for justice.
No, no, no, no.
OK, different kind of justice.
It's tarot card justice, not like the rookie justice.
Yeah, my mistake.
But I know that it is like kind of not Tony, but I.
Where is it?
It's on the back of my leg. Yeah. So I can show you where it is. Strange I didn't see that this morning. Yeah. My mistake. Um, but I know that it is like kind of not Tony, but I, it's on the back of my leg.
Yeah. So I can show you where it is.
Strange. I didn't see that this morning. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Um, it's big, but cause I've got a lot of tattoos and kind of like, Oh, it's just like
another one. Yeah.
Um, but to pause right now, very quickly, Ryan, can you describe my ultimate dream boy?
Your ultimate dream boy.
Okay.
Tony's ultimate dream boy.
Like three keywords.
Shit tats.
Bad boy.
Yeah.
Like kind of a skater,ungy, like punk rocker.
So I've got some news.
No.
I've spent the last week with my dream boy.
What do you mean?
Look at this video.
That's Torbz.
Hang on.
Clean skin Torbz.
Yeah, not me mom, baby.
Oh my God.
There's a tattooed boy in, baby. Oh my God.
There's a tattooed boy in your house? In my bed.
I've been sleeping.
Oh, why are you even at work?
I know.
Why, what?
So like a week before I went, I was like-
What did he, did he do the card?
Yeah, do you want me to, I'll show you what he got.
Oh shit, sorry.
What did-
No, I'm joking.
This is what he, so this is the tattoo he pulled.
He pulled the tower, which is very descriptive of Torb.
So it's like, uh, kind of like a castle turret, like cracking in half and there's
like bits coming out of it.
It sort of looks like where Shrek goes and slays the dragon.
It is a bit like that.
And did he go home and slay the dragon?
No, both his saw.
Where did he get it?
Um, it's here on his arm.
On his ripped bicep.
On his ripped bicep.
And so like a week before I was going, I was like, Oh, I'm going to go to this thing.
Cause the girl I get tattooed with, it was her idea.
I love it.
I love the idea and I love that.
And I love Torb.
It's kind of loose and cool.
Hey, anyway.
And so I said to Torb's like, Oh, do you want to come?
And he goes, Oh, obviously not Tony.
Like, I don't have any tattoos.
That's really crazy.
Like, um, and he's never expressed much interest in getting one.
He's like, I think they're really cool, but maybe just not for me.
Um, and then I'm about to get into the car to go on Saturday.
I'm like, cool.
I'm just going to, um, tap place.
He goes, yeah, I'm going to come.
And I was like, Oh, well, you can't just like come and hang out. Like that's how annoying. And he was like, no, no, no, I'm going to the chat place. He goes, yeah, I'm going to come. And I was like, Oh, well, you can't just
like come and hang out like that. Tell annoying. And he was like, no, no, no, I'm going to come.
I'm going to do it. And I was like, okay. And he picked out a tarot card and his first tattoo was
just like random flash. Isn't that just like a hot and loose and cool. That is hot and fast and loose
and cool. Yeah. That is... Has he started smoking since?
And then like...
Is he exclusively wearing black jeans?
I mean, he kind of does that anyway.
Yeah. Has he got a fringe?
No, he doesn't have a fringe.
Bit light on, I think for a fringe, but...
Poor baby.
No.
You get a hat with a fake fringe built in.
Or a heenie, you know, those heart beanies.
As you started to like tonight will be the night.
I'm wearing a bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bling bl And then it's kind of like healing up and he's like, Oh yeah, blah, blah, blah. And he's got like the second skin on at the moment, like what I've got. So you can't really see it.
Did he say that it hurts?
He said it was all right.
Yeah, but he's a bit of a tough guy because he's a bad boy now.
I actually fell asleep during the one that I got on Saturday.
Yeah, I did.
I twitched and I went, I'm so sorry.
I think I was asleep.
I did that at the barber and I nearly fucking cut my neck off.
It's so scary.
Yeah.
You wake up and there's a guy with a fucking razor to your throat.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, that's not how I went to sleep.
Was it?
Yeah.
Nah, he said it was all right, but he's like having a little bit of a
reaction to the second skin stuff.
And he goes, oh, so next time I don't think I'll use that.
Next time.
Next time.
You know what's happened?
He feels bad that he dumped you in your dream.
And he has decided, he's like, I'm going to make it up.
He's like, how am I going to make it up to him?
He's like, I got to fucking turn it up.
I got to lift my game.
But yeah, I mean, I'm not mad about it.
So how often are these flash sales?
Well, that one was- Like a Halloween party. Was for Halloween. game. But yeah, I mean, I'm not mad about it. So how often are these flash sales?
Well, that one was like a Halloween party.
Was for Halloween. Yeah. So they normally do it on like big events kind of.
Should I come next time?
You're more than welcome. They'd love to have you.
I'm not, I'm too much of a pussy.
Do you have tattoos, Soph?
Just a couple of little ones.
Pretty cool.
So I'm not only clean skin in our families.
But I mean, like it's fine.
That's huge news.
It was just really cool.
He was like, no, I'm going to come and it's all good.
And I was like, you're going to get like color or black and gray.
He's like, I don't know.
And I was like, where are you going to get it?
He's like, I don't know.
Like it was just really, like, I was just really proud of him.
Cause he was just really fucking brave and it was like, hell sick.
What a bad boy.
What a bad ass.
Yeah.
Cool.
Huh?
That's fucking cool.
Yeah.
I was just so proud of him.
I wonder if anyone else has got spontaneous tats.
Yeah.
Let us know actually into in the episode.
I like the tarot card thing.
It's such a sick idea.
Hey, so yeah, Courtney, um, we, Miss Quartz on Instagram, if you're interested
in looking around, um, she came up with the idea and they did it for the thing.
And yet they hand drew all the designs and stuff.
If they had of flipped one and you were like, Oh, can we flip another one?
There was like a fee.
So you could, you could redraw for five bucks.
That's good.
That's good business.
And then I think that that $5 went into like a raffle and someone won that money
or something like that. Um, or maybe they were donating it or something like that.
But yeah, you're not a pussy. You don't pay no fee or have a safe word. So, um,
the one that I wanted, cause I'd seen them all previously. I, I got,
I pulled the one that I wanted, which was just like, hell lucky.
I think I'd prefer not to know all the options because then I would choose a favorite.
Cause in your mind you have an idea.
And you're like, Oh, I hope it's this one.
I hope it's this one.
I hope it's not that one.
Yeah.
I love that.
I was kind of like, I love all these artists.
So like, what's the worst that could happen?
I get a stick tattoo that I maybe wouldn't have normally picked, but like,
it still looks good.
It's not like they were all good, but one was shit looking.
And I was like, Oh, I really don't want that.
And is there a sense of like, because you're getting lots of different tats on
your leg, it's just another one amongst the crew.
It's not like you're getting one huge back tat and that's the fuck.
Totally.
Yeah.
And you kind of go, Oh, like it's kind of an experience that if anybody ever
went, what, what did you get that for?
I go, Oh, well I went to this sick flash day and like, that's how it worked.
It's fun.
It's like a great memory. I love it. Yeah's how it worked. It's fun. I love it. Great memory.
I love it.
Yeah.
I love it.
It's fun.
Huh?
Yeah.
I told Sophie and she was like, Ryan's not going to believe that you did that.
No, I'm thoroughly impressed.
Yeah.
Ever since you got dumped the other week, you are a new woman.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, when like the, in the Hollywood movies, like the girl gets
dumped and then she goes, gets a new haircut.
Yeah. But the revenge look of like, Oh no, I feel great about myself. I'm back bitches. Yeah. Yeah
No, I feel like you've got that glow. I've got that dumped flow, but still got a boyfriend. Yeah
Oh you got a new boyfriend. New boyfriend. You've upgraded. I have upgraded. He's lifted. Yeah, I love this
He has. I've got to love to see it
There's like a witch
Decoration in a storefront.
Let me send it to you.
Yeah, amazing.
And it's pretty cool looking.
And have you got it there?
Yes.
And on the sign it says,
Please do not play with the witch.
She is fragile.
And she looks fragile because she's an old fun witch.
Top comment.
I can only imagine.
This is how my friends warn other people about me. fun witch. Top comment. I can only imagine.
This is how my friends warn other people about me.
I was about to be like very relatable. I'm a fragile witch.
Well, I love that so much to team with the theme of a Halloween based, you love to say it. I've just texted you something that somebody has obviously seen trick or treating.
And it's a big like Halloween treat bucket filled with fur.
One slurp of fur per trick or treater.
What, did you just dunk your face in and?
Just have a big suck out of the broth.
That's the thing. That made me laugh so much.
It made me laugh so much.
Cause how fucking depraved is that?
It's so upsetting.
It just made me laugh so much.
And I was looking at it and I was like, oh,
and I think I looked at it for about five minutes.
It just makes me feel sad.
But my opinion changed on it so many times.
Like I said, I'm gonna go,
well, would it have taken them ages to make that?
Like, did they have a master stock?
And then I'm like, nah, that's weird.
And then I was like, but it is funny.
Like I'm going through like the full range of emotions.
They've put it in a bucket, which is depraved,
but they've decorated the bucket, which is kind of nice.
Yeah, like it's a trick or treat, like loot bucket, like what kids take around to pick their candy up.
Yeah.
I liked it.
I've never, I think I'm with you. I'm very conflicted.
And I haven't been this conflicted about food since I saw a video of a guy boiling slash slow cooking a brisket in a bathtub.
I'm boiling slash slow cooking a brisket in a bathtub.
Love never made a brisket in my bathtub and I've been married for 43 years.
And I'm in a new relationship and it's going well. I've just got a new boyfriend that's going really well.
We got matching tattoos.
We did not get matching tattoos.
I'm just letting everybody know we did not get that.
Okay, we'll fit a sore point.
How fucked off would you be if I came in with like a,
is it called a leg sleeve?
What do you call when you're getting all your leg done?
Like what I'm doing.
I think it's called like a sticker sleeve.
Okay.
What if I came in with a sticker sleeve on my leg
and it was just the exact same tats as yours?
I actually laugh hell hard.
Like I actually would think that's really funny.
A bit of a big laugh
because that's a big commitment for a gag.
It's huge.
Not only the pain, but also the money.
Like they're expensive.
So it's like, that's a huge commitment to a gag.
That's pretty funny.
I think one thing that's really doing me in
with the one slurp of fur per trick or treat.
Let's go back to that.
Is the word slurp.
Slurp.
Like, do you think when the Vietnamese
created this delicious dish that would end up being so loved all around the world that anyone used the word slurp. Like, do you think when the Vietnamese created this delicious dish
that would end up being so loved all around the world that anyone used the
word slurp anywhere around that? Well I think it's, yeah like because imagine if it just
said like one cup of Ferb, Ferb trick-or-treater. BYO ladle. Yeah but the slurp, I just I
think that is so funny and it has sent me literally into space.
Because you're-
I'm in orbit after seeing that. I just think it's literally so fucking funny.
Should we for next year?
Here we go. Yeah.
Like we'll think of the five most like inspired by this and maybe fur can be one of them,
but the five most depraved looking treats that you just would not want.
Yeah.
And just make it like a fun video and sit out the front of your house and see who rocks up.
See who comes through.
Yeah.
We go, yep, that's just one slurp of that.
One slurp of that.
I'm imagining like a country stew, like a chunky soup.
Yeah, chunky soup.
And also because it's really hot in Australia, that's just the last thing that you would want.
What about a communal slurpee? Oh, like one sip each.
A bucket of slushy just with random straws.
So it's like-
That's like what your dad does at Christmas isn't with the margarita bucket.
Yeah. Yeah. But that's family. That's not strangers in reservoir. You know what I mean?
But that's different.
Yeah. What if it was one hot dog and it was like one body,
one really long hot dog sitting at the front with one big hot dog and everybody can just have one bite each.
I love that. I love that. And you're like, Oh, did you want, uh,
onion or mustard or tomato? You have to choose for everyone because we're all eating the same dog.
We're all having the same thing.
Yeah. I love that.
That's fun.
Brother, dad's over here.
Hot dog, we got fur, we got community slushies,
we got a warm beef stew.
What about a big, like a paella sized bowl,
but just with like a curry?
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's got similar energy to-
With our rubber gloves, we'll just get a handful of curry and just drop it into their
back.
Loose curry.
Who ordered the Vindaloo?
Here you go.
Yeah.
Oh, everyone.
Because we've only got one curry on the go.
That's spicy, mate.
You be careful.
Halloween hot dog.
Do you want some yogurt as well?
We've got like a big tub of yogurt.
Now we like slopping yogurt into people's
fucking trick or treat bags.
A mouth full of naan just thrown in.
Mate, this could go places.
I think it's a good idea.
Yeah, it's huge.
Hey, tomorrow video show.
Video show.
We're gonna attempt once again to do
weirdest thing a guest has done in your house.
You will recall yesterday we attempted this and it did not go well.
Yesterday.
Was it yesterday?
Was it yesterday?
Fuck it, no.
Yeah, no, it's been a rough week.
Oh my god.
It's been a rough week.
But we'll try again tomorrow and we'll see how we go.
No promises.
No promises.
Love you.
Oh, be safe with your trick or treating tonight.
Yep.
Don't dress up as your brother's love interest.
Super strange. Love you, bye. Learn more at Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada.
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