Toni and Ryan - Toni Has Broken The Law

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Health benefits of being short - Ryan's poem - Toni's stolen??? - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You f*** stole it. The reason you can't show a receipt is because it looks like you've stolen the goods without them removing the tag. And try and explain that to someone. Oh, they must have forgotten to. Well, that's exactly what a thief would say. Hi, I'm Simon from Birmingham, United Kingdom. Hi, I'm Jennifer from Victoria, BC Canada. Hi, my name is Elin.

I'm from Regalia. And I'm prove this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan John. And welcome to Riga Latvia. And the California of Europe. They call it?

I don't know if they do. Rieg Vegas. I actually don't know if they do. Viva Riga Vegas. I've just had a codrol. I did at one point walk down that way and turn left and describe it as the Paris end of Riga. You did. And accurate, though.

There is a fancy end. Yeah. There's a nice areas around here. Have you ever been to Vietnam? No. There's like a part, so Torbs and I, it was the first holiday we ever went on together and we went to Ho Chi Minh City. Yep. And we stayed in there.

Like, we didn't have any money. Like, we stayed in this, like, really random hotel in, like, the backpacking area. Yep. And every day, we're just walking because we couldn't afford to do anything else. And we walked so fast that we got to Europe by accident. Because similar, it was like you get to all of a sudden, you're in the Paris. of Ho Chi Minh City and it is like you go through all these back alleys and it's you know like extreme poverty yeah and then you walk through a street and it's like luscious green trees

a huge fucking raffles hotel yeah like it is so stark it's so like this difference isn't that much but that was the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life and it just made you feel like uncomfortable because you were just like oh like have you have you guys seen what's going on back there i think they have like well i reckon i have to um are we the only people that say the paris end of dot dot dot or is that a is that a global saying because i mean as in you and i or i just know in melbourne there was always like the paris end of colin street and i don't know if that's just like a really melbourne city thing to say and then i've taken that abroad and applied it to all sorts of places.

But we say it about lots of stuff. And I don't know if that's common language. But I don't even know if it's a Melbourne thing as much as it is a you and I think. Have you heard of that, Charles? I haven't. But I like know what you mean, but I've just Googled it and it's a very Melbourne thing apparently. Oh. There you go.

I'm on it. I'm honored to have, you know, taken on a very Melbourne thing. And taken it abroad. I've taken on your very Melbourne thing. Yes, I did take it to Hoshimian City. Yeah. Beautiful part of the world. Thank you.

No, not your thing to thank again. The other night... It isn't Vietnam beautiful. Thank you. The other night we walked past this place that says 50 shots for 25 euros. We're walking back from a seafood and grill. You know what? When you've had a bunch of fish, you need some liquor.

Charles goes, you wouldn't come to a pub and have one drink. And I was like, fuck, okay. And then we get there and we see... And when I say get there, it's the place next door. Yeah. Like it all happened real fast. And that's what happens. Life comes out you quick.

Yeah. And like we hadn't stepped four steps from the front door of the seafood restaurant and we see this sign. You still got muscle in your mouth. I had muscle. Yeah. And I was in my mouth. Yeah. You shared them, didn't you?

I wasn't there. How do you know about the sharing of the muscles? Mate, I won't miss a treat. Lily told me. 50 shots for $25. Euro? Euro, Euro. That'll get you.

Yeah. The old exchange rate. Nah, but that's good value any end of town, you know what I'm saying? Oh, okay. That is good value. And then we did the maths earlier. Actually, can we play the snippet from your stories where you divulge how many you had by the end of the evening, some five hours later? Let's just, let's just play Charles's stories.

This one. I'm probably at like 50 shots right now. And I'm flogged. That was on Charles's close friends, but if you're watching this or listening to this, we're all close friends here. We're all tarfers. We're all close friends. Yeah. And anyway, so we've done the maths and are we comfortable in saying tone that Charles has done more shots this week in Latvia than you have in your entire 33 years on the planet?

I reckon easy. And that's not like, oh, I'm trying to be interesting. Like, actually, I reckon that you might have tipped me over. Um, and I applaud the enthusiasm and the ability, the human ability. You know how you, what was your, oh, you know when we found out that you're only supposed to have a six inch from subway and that, and then we've been dropping foot longs. And I think you said, what was it? Some sort of like, I'm about enjoying pushing my body to the limit. Pushing your body to the limit.

Which I do. You have no idea how much pasta I can eat. And that's what I, when I think about this podcast, I'm like, people want to be inspired by the possibility of mankind. And the athleticism that exists among us. Tony can eat a whole footlong in three bites. She can make pasta disappear. I can. I can suck cum out of an oncoming stranger.

Oh, oncoming. That's funny. And charge. Charles shots Patterson rolls in and puts down 50 shots in a night and we won't say held it down. But he got back. But a question though, because that Instagram story that we have saved for our own private use is earlier in the night.

Is it not? So at that point when you thought maybe you're at 50, how many do you think the total was? No, so I reckon I did 50 shots that night. And then, because that was as I was like leaving that place. And we didn't do any more shots. Oh, sure. We just did drinks. But they weren't like, like one of the shots that we were having was sort of like

mostly Jaeger and like a bit of like juice or something, like a black current juice. So it had a little mixer in it. That's how they make their money. Yeah, but like, because 50 like, yeah. Like you can't just be your hand and liquor out. Yeah. Well, I do. Yeah.

We'll just pause for Tony to have a tea. Isn't that delicious. You don't have to pause. No, but I just... I was making it work for myself. I hid the... Tony... Oh, Riga has the best tea in the world.

Oh my God, say it again. Tony, Riga has the best tea in the world. What is in that tea that you found? Oh, it's Rubis tea. Oh, what was the other one, though, that I liked? What's Rubis? It's just a different type of tea. What was the one I liked?

This one? Couldn't tell you. That's Rubus. How good's Rubis? Tell me what the fuck that is. It's just a... I don't actually know what the... thing is but it's like so when you get tea it's like oh to some is like like black tea

yep is like a type of tea green tea is a type of tea rubus is another type of tea so i guess it's good the type of leaves that they use in rubus is different to black tea delicious i think i think and please don't come for me community did you hear what i said yeah that was very clever thanks um I've got some news here that will benefit you because I know you're trying to stay healthy and we're drinking lots of water or having the tea. Yeah, well, I'm trying to stay healthy

because I'm not healthy. Yeah. Yeah. The sickness has got me, the lurky. These are the health benefits of being short. It's actually scientifically proven that it's better for your health to be a shorthy. I agree.

Now, Tony is five foot two. Sure. Let me read what this means for you. Now, I just have to make sure, are you basing my height off my height? Or how tall is Tony Lodge and it's the woman from the man shakes ads? Because that has gotten us in the past. We've tried to Google my height and it was someone else. So hang on, you Google Tony Lodge and there's this lady who's not you that's been doing drinking man shape.

But drinking like a weight loss shake and it's like, Tony is 60 centimeters and has lost all this way or whatever. Do you remember that, Charles? Yeah, you can't. I believe this is from your height. This is me. Okay, just making sure. Small people are less likely to break their feet or fall over. They have a lower center of gravity and supposedly have better balance.

Okay. Tick. Lower risk of cancer. For every 10 centimeters of height, like you get bigger, the risk of cancer goes up by 18%. Yeah, because there's more room. There's more, they have more cells in their. their body and more cells mean more chances of random mutations to occur. Well, I'm waiting on some cancer test results from my colonoscopy.

So I'll let you know if I'm still. Did they check your height? They did. They did. They, um, the heighted me sort of measured. I'm going to heighten her. Yeah. Uh, lower chance of blood clots.

Oh. Shorter legs, shorter blood vessels. Oh. And more likely to. There's a blood clot. You hear that thrown around a lot, don't you? But what is it? You know when you're blending a smoothie and you don't blend it like long enough and

there's like a lump of banana or like a chunk of mango? Yeah. So imagine trying to pour the smoothie through your veins, but there's a chunk of mango in it. The chunk is the clot. Did you read that somewhere? No. That was amazing. Well, I there's a really good visual explanation.

Thank you very much. much because I don't know anything about the human body. They just came straight to you. Like, you had that ready to go. I don't know much about the human body, but I have had a lot of smoothies and shakes in my time. True. And so you need to put it into context that you can understand. Lived experience.

So true. Yeah. Now, if you haven't had many smoothies or shakes, lift. Get better at life. Get better at doing that. Do you know what Latvia do well, actually? That are like a fresh, fruity frothy juice. I'm yet to indulge.

You're an idiot. You've got to go to Big Bite Bagels. What is it called? It's on your laptop. Big Bad Bagels. Big Bad bagels. After this, I'm going straight to Big Bad Bagels. Oh my God.

The food was unreal. And the juices were, you know, when you get a really fresh juice and it's like frothy at the top. Yeah. Guess what? Niente clots. No clots. Just to translate. Short people are more likely to live longer.

On average, shorter people live two to five years longer than taller people because there is a longevity gene that shorter people are more likely to carry. Does that mean that the three of you are going to be dead because you're all tall and I just have to go on by myself. I have to go on alone. That's so sad. Here I am trying to pump up a short bitch. No, I just sad.

I'll have to say goodbye to all my friends. Is it actually better to be the first one that dies? Oh, 100%. I want to leave Torbs behind. I've shot gun dying first with Bridget and I, because no. I've shotgunned it with Torbs and me and Pippa. So I'll be gone soon because I don't know how long that's like going to live for. Can you just look out the window and just like, just between you and I, I don't know if Tony

realizes the lifespan of dogs is like way shorter than humans. And I don't really know if that's clicked for her. and I'm just going to let her believe that. Nice day out there. Isn't it? A bit of sun. Beautiful. A bit of European sun coming through.

So yeah, I don't know how long people's going to live. What? Is that what you were doing? Matt? I wasn't listening. But I don't, you know, but I just, I don't think I could say goodbye to her. Oh my God. Don't know.

Why I got down this time. Now. I'm missing the fam. Tony went to bed kind of early last night. and I That's a That's generous Thank you

And I Uh Had a nagroney And was a bit silly And like Thought I would like Write a poem Oh beautiful

Because Now that we know The benefits Of being short Yeah The obvious question is Well which celebrities Are which height

And how else Would you communicate that But through the spirit Of rhyming poetry Which is Tony's favourite kind Yes A poem Have you guys heard this poem?

No Wow. And I also wrote it after that, Nogroni and closed the laptop and haven't really looked at it since. Hey, no, I love it. We're all learning. Before you've heard a word of it. I love it. No, but like, are we backing it in?

Yep. It's my favourite poem I've ever heard. It's better than any of that shit that they put in books, except for mine. You can buy it at our website. Kevin Hart, Tony Lodge. They're both five foot two. But some celebrities are even shorter. Oh my God, who?

This one sucks the dick of Trav Barker. Tony's hero. Corny Collashion! She's 5 foot zero. That's a great rhyme. Jada Pinkett Smith is 4 foot 11. That's a fact. But let's not talk about her if we don't want to get whacked.

I was wondering if there was going to be a reference to the Oscars. The hilarious. Davido is only 4 foot 10. But I think we can all agree. Danny D. What a specimen. I agree. I love it's always sunny in Philadelphia and Matilda. This absolute icon will always be queen of the ball.

Snooky is 4 foot 8. The smallest of them all. Oh, meep ball. Shout out to Tony. My short kings and short queens. Turns out it's healthy. Great news for your heart. Fear splines.

Obviously the only word you can come up with. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Can't wait to find out when I'm not going to break my other foot. That's good news. The other ones, actually broke down at the very start of the story, you know. Hi, I'm Jennifer from Victoria, BC, Canada. Hi, I'm Simon from Birmingham United Kingdom. Hi, I'm aliena. We're listening to Tony Ryan.

Welcome back. A massive shout-out to a view of our champion tab is over in our Patreon. Tony just accused, how do I... I don't think legally that we can. I just want to know if Lily... Oh, all units over here. She won't let that go? I don't know if Lily...

Lily's been accused of being jealous by Tony Lodge. And I want to know... And you know why? It's because I'm acting out because before she showed me a picture of the girl that Charles Kissed my moment. Whoa, and she went e-jalous. I'm just acting out. I'm lashing out.

So then you said Lily was jealous. And I want to know, is she jealous of Charles because he's thrown it around European things? Or is she jealous of the Finnish doctor that Charles is thrown his thing in? Jealous of Nelly, the Finnish doctor. Her name is, it's Ali with not an N. It's Nellie. Her name's Nellie. You're thinking of Nally.

It's Ali. No, it's Nally. Is it Nally? It's Nally, time. Yeah, I know. Is it Nelly? Yeah. Not on my Nelly.

Nelly Fittato. I'm like a bird. I'm in love you. Okay. A massive shout out to a few of that. The thing is is that Charles obviously writes all the notes for this. So this might never see the light of day. But we won't know until it comes out.

Comment. Saw it. Love it. I massive shout out to a few of our champion type us over at our Patreon. Shan, good on you Shan. Emily Baker. Good on you. Emily Baker.

I wonder if that's Emily Baker I went to primary school with. I went to a school. I know that was not even close. Okay. So Holly and Lauren, they moved to our schooling in year one. They were twins, still are twins. And they moved from New Zealand. Yeah.

And their baby sister was called Emily. Emily Baker. I wonder if this bit will make the cut. Do you reckon it? Richard Pofam. Good on your Richard. Alyssa Holmes. Love to see it.

Right down also saw that bit. How's Emily Baker doing? Hopefully well. I hope that doesn't make it in. Alyssa Holmes. Good on you, Alyssa. Catherine Locke. Oh,

lock the door. Faye M. Jonathan Heberlegg. Justin Spackavento. Scott Mashford. Fluffy McNuggettstein. Fuck, that's making me hungry.

I'm Marissa. What was that? Fluffy McNuggettstein. I don't think it's a Christian name. You know what I'm saying? What religion would it be? McDonald's, Hezberger. And if you love Hezberger and you want to see more about our Riga trip,

the vlog is out this Saturday for champion and exclusive targets. Are we including some stories from Charles's close friend stories on Instagram? There will be. Yeah, there will be. You have to edit myself. There has been a lot of fun had on this trip and I can't wait for you to see it in the vlog. But it's, so it's Ryan and I. It's Charles and Lily on the.

the on the trip and we had to leave some of our crew behind in Melbourne. And Tommy, who is on our team, and he's not here, unfortunately, to join in the celebrations, but he just got engaged. He did. Congratulations, Tommy and Megan. So Tommy and Meggs, they've gotten engaged. They've been together for a long time. And it's really exciting because, like, how fun is love.

They're both really, like, happy. They love each other so much. Yep. And it is so beautiful. Makes me sick. It's really lovely. And so, of course, when we knew that Tommy was going to ask Meg's to marry him and they went on a beautiful weekend away together.

We knew before Megan did. Which is like, you know, everyone's favorite flex. Like, oh, so glad we could probably tell people, you know. And so when we got the text in our group chat being like, she said, yes, like, it's happening. We're all so excited. And Ryan and I were chatting. and I was like, oh, we should get them a nice bottle of champagne or get them a present or something. And Ryan goes, oh, yeah, like, we could do this or this.

And I was like, oh, I'm happy to go grab something if you want. And he was like, oh, awesome. I don't have to worry about it. You go get it. So I went to the bottle-low. And I bought, because I really wanted to get something in a box because I just think it looks a bit nicer. Yeah, it's a intentional gift. Rather than just grabbed a bottle on the way.

I think that just looks so pov. So I bought like a beautiful. bottle of champagne in the box and then I put like a big satin ribbon around it and I was like I was like no I want you to know that we're just so happy for you guys I dropped that's from both of us you know really went well I actually said this is from all of us when I get you guys are there yeah like it's from the crew I mean it'd fucking want to be slags and invoice well it's funny that you should mention an invoice because I just got a text from Tommy not 15 minutes ago.

No, that's not true because I already hooked to it yesterday. Yeah. I just got a text from Tommy since we've been away that he and makes were like, let's sit down and pop this bottle of bubbly. Fuck yeah. How nice is that? They got a little cheese board out. They're ready to sit down and celebrate.

You wouldn't have a little almond or walnut or cashew on the side of that cheeseboard, would you? Would you? Say your favourite nut on three. have you got one? Yep. Three, two, one. Cahue.

It was one of two. Yeah. They're my favourite two. I also love a Pekan. We were talking about Pekans the other day. Yeah. So they're sitting down. I like cashews just fucking...

Cashews actually do fuck. And you know what he's an unsung hero of a cashew? It's like when you get like a chilly lime cashew, you know, they've got the stuff on them. No? That's good. Thank you, Lil. What? Yeah.

Like sometimes you get a Red Rock Deli cashew bag. You know that Red Rock Deli. Never seen that in my life. You joking me dead. No. Yes? No. What?

I don't know. No one's ever said it. This is the first time. This is the first time anyone's ever had to figure it out. Yep. Yeah. Well, I hope they sell them in the bagel place. Me too.

But yeah, like you know when you get like a or like a honey roast. a nut or something that's very good. I don't normally buy a mixed nut. Nah. Usually I'm just like it, yeah, maybe I'm just not doing it right. But like sometimes you get a fun one that's got, the chili lime cashew is very, very good. Okay. I like a macadamia as well, very buttery.

I love macadamia. Like how your tooth like grinds through it. So young. One of the ice creams that I'd love to get is it's like a chalk macadamia. One of the ice creams I'd love to get? Oh, like that are in the rotation. Oh. Like it's a like a magnetism.

and type. I hope one day I can get one of those. One day I'll have it. No, like, you know how sometimes the outside is like an almond and chocolate or whatever or Biskopf is sort of having a moment? Yeah. But when you get the macadamia. I've never.

Or a macadamia in a we spa. Fuck me right up. You know. We spa with macadamia. There is actually nothing in this life you will long for once you've had one of those. You know what is a great application of a macadamia. and macadamia and white chocolate cookie from Subway. That fucks me in the ass hard.

I love that. Yeah. Have you had a Wee Spa? No. Just the one that Charles bought that time, the mango one. I haven't had the Macadamaya one. Let me get.

Although maybe mango and Macadamia. Oh, was it? Macadamia the one that way. No, no, because mango, they're mostly mango, but then there's like mango and cream or a mango and macaday. We had cream. Yeah. What's the macadamia?

What else has it got in it? When I get, when we get back. Is it just ground up nuts, though? It's like peanut butter, but macadamia butter. No, it's just like a couple of like sporadic little nuts in your mango ice cream. You're a fan of a nut in an ice cream. I love a nut and an ice cream. Could not live without nutting an ice cream.

I love a silky ice cream. Like, I'm not a big fan of bits. And I'll tell you for why. I don't like the admin it involves of picking the nuts out of my fucking teeth. Yeah, so do you chew it on the way in though? Yeah, yeah, but that's when it gets stuck in my teeth. I left the guys out the other night. And when they came home, I was sitting on this very couch eating ice cream out of a mug.

I love it. Why don't you just go straight out of the top? It was too much. And it was like two frozen. It was really hard to get out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get it.

But I like a silk. The bits, I think, are high admin at times. Like, you know, when you go to yotee and you get like little mini M&Ms or whatever, they're so young. but they just get so stuck in your teeth. What's going on with your teeth, dude? No, I just get stuck in my teeth all the time. Do you chew it on the way in?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying is the problem. It's stuck in my teeth. You got to chew it. What do you mean? Because when you chew it, like, breaks it. Yeah. But it seems like you're just, like, chunking it in your gums. No, like I'm chewing it.

And because I'm, like, chewing it's getting stuck in my tooth. We need to go to Yochi and settle this. Do you know what I mean? You, me and Dr. Manu. Do you not get anything stuck in your teeth? That's the beauty of having big gaps in your teeth. No, I'm not, I don't mean between. I mean like in, like, so when you're chewing and it goes like, yeah, I always get stuff in my teeth.

Maybe I mean, it's good to just, anyway, okay. So Tommy and Megan are sitting down. They've just gotten engaged a week ago. They are very excited about this beautiful bottle of champagne that we all got as a gift. And I'm implicating all of you because he just sent me. this photo of the champagne. They sat down to have it. I'm just texting it to you guys.

We will put it on the screen in one Una Memento. It's got like the security cap on the top of the fucking bottle of champagne. Is that like when you rip it off the ink spurts out? Yeah. Yeah. Tony. Tony, look me in the eye. Actually, show me the receipt.

Well, I can't show you. Because you fucking stole it. The reason you can't show a receipt is because it looks like you've stolen the goods without them removing the tag. That's exactly what it looks like. And try and explain that to someone. Oh, they must have forgotten to. Well, that's exactly what a thief would say. Oh, they mustn't have taken it off in the shop.

Like, who am I fucking? Ned Kelly. You're Squezy Taylor, the bootleger. I was going to say, who's that girl that's in that show? Anna something? You know that show. Anna Winter. You know what I'm talking about.

Oh, inventing Anna. Yes. Yep. Who's that Anna? Kendrick. And Adelvie? Anna Delvey. Anyway, would have land if I knew her name.

But like, that's just exactly what a scam I would tell you. And so Tommy's like sent me this photo and being like, hey. Do you don't have an opener for this, do you? We've just sat down to enjoy this and, ha ha. Like, you know, he's tried to laugh at off. And I've gone like, no, oh my God. Like, ha ha. Obviously, because I bought it in a box specifically.

I didn't look in the box when I... That's not on you. That's whoever the fuck you supposedly bought it from in this fictional bullshit story. In theory, they would know like what's on and they would like open the box, pop the thing, pop it back in. Surely.

And then you can't put it in the box. Like I didn't look in the... I'm trusting that they would... You know, I pick it up. I'm like, well, there's a bottle of fucking champagne in there. But like, how do you... convince someone that you didn't steal a gift because that's exactly what somebody who stole a gift would say.

Do you remember about two years ago when I was like, can you please watch Squizzy Taylor that season of Underbelly? It wasn't two years ago, but yes, I remember. Where are you up to? I haven't watched it. It wasn't two years ago. No, it wasn't. Wasn't it?

Nah, it was more recent than that. Maybe 18 months. Why, what's the? Give me the top line. He is a bootleger, like, old school. What does that mean? Well, you know, like in the 1920s and stuff, when like prohibition, the Australian, so there's like. Was that here too?

Yeah. And so the Melbourne one was Swiss. Sorry. Not in Argentina. Yeah. In Australia. Yeah. And so he was like the Melbourne guy that was like bringing in the booze and stuff.

Oh. And I was like, maybe if you'd seen Squizzy, which I asked you to watch 18 months ago. Okay. 18 to 24. Okay. Probably close to 24 if we're like splitting here. I reckon I've got the text in my phone so you fucking chill out. Yeah, 18 months.

He would have had some advice for how to get those off. If hypothetically you were stealing wine and passing it on, he would have... Hypothetically. He would have the nows to like get around these things. Yeah, right. Yeah. Also killed a lot of dudes. Okay.

Well, so the thing is, is that much like when you try and justify and you like go, oh my God, I'm so. sorry that this has happened, what do you do? Because if you go back to a BWS and you go, oh, I bought these, they go, well, where's their receipt? And they go, well, oh, my boss got it for me. It was a gift. Jail. Woo! Like, straight away. Like, how do you get yourself out of this situation? I'm glad you've asked. Well, we need to actually know. So you know how, like, fancy champagne, peepole will like, fuck, you tried to recover and it did not work.

I don't think anyone noticed. So you've had a few champagains. You know how fancy champagne peopoe will have that big sword and like flick the top off? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've seen that. Yeah, I have. It's like a saber, I think.

A saber. Yeah, the light saber. You just, yeah. I reckon that'll work on that thing. Or if not this way, just and just

knob it on the straight across straight like at top the bottle like the top of the neck like clean off circumcised

clean off with the sabre pour it in yeah clean off with the sabre pour it in um okay well that's some advice I could send back to Tommy

for someone who got a free fucking gift from his workplace I tell you fucking what oh fuck off here we go oh just a quick one you wouldn't want to can you open it for me and stunk. Well my first thing I was like I promise you I did not steal this. Don't promise things like that because then we can't trust your future promise.

I was like I'm so sorry like I'm going to text him right now. I promise you I did not steal this. What time is it in Australia? Yep he's getting a text. And he goes oh it's okay we're laughing about it and I was like I don't think you are like you know. Tony Stoll. No. That can't be in writing. They won't all me back into the country when I want to go home. She hasn't... To the group chat.

She hasn't watched Squizzy Taylor. Danny's going to be very confused. Yeah, no. I promise. I swear on my life, I did not steal it. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, we ain't judging. Yeah, it's fine.

But genuinely, I don't know how to get out of this situation. because you can't go to the BWS and go, oh, unfortunately. Like, they're just not going to believe you. They're going to go, you've obviously stolen this. Fuck you. I think it's not fair that Tommy has to take it to the local BWS. I think you should take it. What?

You think I've got us into this situation. By buying a beautiful gift that we all took credit for, that we all took credit for a minute ago. I'm just saying. So, yeah, lucky. I'm not in the country because I reckon the cops will be at my house bang on the door. The boys in blue. Yeah, the champagne chateur, they'll call me.

I don't know what a chateur is. It sounded cool. I got it you love to see it here. Please. It's from River Potato Head. Hi, Mr. Potato Head. Your texts look different to mine. Oh, I haven't done the update.

Yeah, but when you send them, you're on the other side. That's so funny. But no, mine doesn't have this little face. thing. Mine doesn't look like that. Look at mine. I don't have a fade on. Yeah.

What are you doing? Look at mine. Looks totally different to yours. Because I'm in dark mode. No, I don't think, I think I've got to do an update. Yeah. It's in the new update.

That's a cute picture of us. That's there. That's fun. Yeah. All right. Sorry, what do you want? River Potato Head. Mr. Potato Head.

Rolled into the new year and bought a brand new Jeep. Oh. That someone else had previously. used for five years. That is so fun. River potato. I love a Jeep. Yeah.

They look sick, eh. I would never a fan of them, but Charles has brought me over to the Jeep side. I am, I've been pro Jeep for a while and you've... Yeah, no, I'm not a fan, but since Charles... Oh, so he's brought you across. He has.

But do you know what you brought me across to the chimney? Thank you. I didn't know what that car was until I met you. Many didn't? Yeah. You didn't know how well it could drive on the road. And neither did anyone who's driven one. So Riverhead Potato. He says I wanted to get a personal plate for it.

Didn't really care what, but I was just like, I'm just feeling silly. I've bought this car. You bought this car. I love it. And so I asked as a tarpa if I asked the lady, if Conti was available. As in Carla. As in Carla Conti, who was a... A beautiful tarpa.

A beautiful tarpa. A beautiful tar. A beautiful tar. A beautiful tar. And the lady looked at me and said, oh, we can't do that, but we can do Conti. C-O-N-T-E-A. That's fun. And we'll put a photo on the screen, but he's rolling a Jeep.

I love that. In Alaska, if you see a Conti rolling around, just know that's one of us. Or if someone cuts you off and you go, who's this Conti? What an absolute Conti. You'll know. That's amazing. I love to see. I just love to see, like, whenever people type of share a story about like, oh,

I bought the dream car or bike or whatever, it's just so, because it is such a like you've made it purchase. Yep. So River Potato Head, love you. Good on you, River. I thought you'd love to see you here from Sage, which is very stuck, the fucking blog energy.

Sage says a few years ago, I decided to change careers and become a PT, personal trainer. It wasn't until COVID lockdowns. I lost my mum. I had to move away from my siblings that I realized how powerful exercise could be for my mental health.

And it was something that in the past I'd probably use as a bit of a punishment, but now have realized, Oh, it does so much for me. How annoying is that? Oh, it's the worst. When you have a great day and you go, why have I had a great day?

Oh, I slept well, eat well and exercised. Yeah. Disgusting. And I got some fresh air. Yuck. Fuck off. Sage says, I wanted to create a space where especially women could move in a way that felt empowering and supportive

and not like they needed to be fixed. After a lot of self-doubt and fear, and with the help of my wonderful husband, we opened base studio personal training. Fuck yeah. Sage says, so she's only recently. like in the last couple of years, had a baby. Yep.

And she specialises in pre and postnatal training. So she says it's really rewarding, helping mums do something for themselves again. Because when you're giving so much of yourself and your entire body to another human, the growth and then feeding of another baby and just keeping them fucking everything going. Yep. Having time to yourself is like very important. And tough to find sometimes.

Tough to carve the time out for sure. And Sage also. are weekly Mums and Bub's class where they can move, connect and have fun together. But like the mums then get to chat and the kids can kind of roll around together and whatever. And Sage said she's recently had a Tapper in the Wild Moment. One of her clients is a TARPA and they've become friends and they chat about the pod and they train together. This is really cool. So if you want to check it out, she's based in Victoria, like a bit further out of a victim, like not in Melbourne.

But the Instagram is base studio PT and the website is baseudioPt.com. if you want to have a look. Love to hear it. And see if she's in your area. But very cool, huh? Very cool. So fun. Good on you, Sage.

Tomorrow's show is going to be different. Uh-huh. We are going to be live on stage in Riga. Yep. With 80 to 100 tarpers in the room. We joked six months ago that we're going to Riga. There's a conference on we're speaking at. Let's see, is there any, you know, is there three tarpers that might turn up?

want to, we find a room with a hundred people and we go, geez, we're not, let's put some tickets out. We'll see. And it's been sold out. People are being pumped. And tomorrow, that's what our show is going to be live from a room full of tarpas here in Riga, Latvia. Yeah. And I'm fucking pumped.

It's really exciting. Yep. Are you nervous? No, I'm just excited. I'm really excited to meet the tarpas. Yep. It's going to be sick. So, uh, you can watch that tomorrow.

And in the meantime, I fucking love you. Love you. Polydes. Polo. Bye!