Toni and Ryan - Toni Is Not A Bird Guy

Episode Date: March 26, 2023

I'M NOT A BIRD GUY, OKAY!!! Love ya! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Tony. Hello. It's been a while because we had a hot streak for a while, but I feel like it's been a while since we've been to Florida. Florida. But we're back, baby. We're going to Orlando and this is Zach. Zach Attack. Zach was my childhood dog's name.

Yeah, I know. May he rest in peace. Yeah, he was beautiful. Yeah, he's a staffie. Yeah. Was a staffie. Well, probably still is. Maybe my mum and Zach are hanging out. I hope so.

Hello? Zach! Tony Ryan! Hi! How are you? I'm good. How are you? We're well.

What have we caught you doing, Zach? Whereabouts are you? I'm working right now. Well, I'm trying to wrap up work. I'm working a little late tonight, but that's what I'm doing, driving around on the prowl. On the prowl? Yeah.

Which one is it? I'm not on the prowl. I was just kidding. Well, I'm glad that you're being paid to approve this podcast. I love it. Do you approve the podcast? Thank you. I think I do.

Yes. I was going to say, mate, you're getting paid to do it. You might as well. What else can we give you? That's right. Hi, this is Zach, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today on the podcast, after 18 months of planning, the Lord Ticket saga isn't quite over.

That's all I have to say. We were planning for 18 months. We both got COVID. We were both out of town. All this planning and logistical issues turned out to be for nothing. Or was it? We didn't plan that. That was good.

No, that was really fucking good. I don't know if the rest of the show was fucking that good. But that's coming up soon. But first, summer is approaching in the Northern Hemisphere. It's slowly drifting away here in Australia. Although, to be fair, I reckon four times I've gone, this is probably the last hot day of this summer. And then there's another scorcher.

And then four days later it was 37 last week. It was 37 last weekend. Absolutely insane. And it rained on the same day. Global warming is real. Like it's actually cooked. Thanks, Al Gore. That's okay.

I like that. Have you watched The Inconvenient Truth? No. We watched An Inconvenient Truth for like a school field trip. Yeah, right. Like we went to the cinema and watched it like as a class. Yeah, and it was like just incredible. I was probably in like year six or year seven or something.

We get it, you're younger than me. You're like, oh, I was a producer on that film. Yeah, I made that. Yeah, fuck. Except like everyone was just smooching boys. Yeah. Because you're at the cinema. I was watching the movie.

I was learning about global warming. This will warm the glass. Yeah. Anyway. So apparently there's some very strong debates happening in the what you can and can't do at the beach. Oh, like what? Like how you can't, like, take class to the beach and stuff like that?

Do you mean? Well, that's usually a given, but maybe. But I've got a few things that are, you know, people aren't sure about. So as I was saying, because we've just experienced the summer, because the northern hemisphere is coming into summer, maybe I would ask Tony the stand-up paddleboarder. Oh, no, sorry. No, sorry.

Tony the urban surfer. Yeah. Surfer girl shuckers. Yeah. So obviously I'm not a stand-up paddle boarder, unfortunately, anymore. Tony the Stand-Up Paddle Boarder, RIP. RIP. Urban surf is not like, it's not, yeah.

Okay. All right. Sorry. Tony the Surfer Girl. Tony the Surfer Girl. Is that you? Beach babe. Are you the beach babe?

Yep. I'll take it. This episode's called Tony the Beach Babe. Write that down. Write that down. Write that down. Feeding seagulls. Oh, no way. But they're hungry.

No. Why not? No. Because you throw them one chip and then they all come. I'm not a bird guy. Yeah. I'm really not a bird guy. I don't like birds.

Okay. Like, I actually can't be like, oh, I don't like birds. Wow. I'm not a bird guy. Yeah, you've said. I'm sorry. Don't apologize. I'm not a bird guy.

Like it really freaks me out. Can you just hold on one sec, Tony? Yeah. Cam, can you just write down a new episode title called Tony is not a bird guy? Once when I was camping, I woke up and rolled over and there was a peacock with its face in my face. Holy fuck.

That is terrifying. Its beak was about this far. Like what's that, four inches? Yeah. Yeah. On a good day. Sorry, Tony's just leaning down to measure my penis. Yeah.

Pretty funny. Four inches. You're measuring it three times. Measuring it in a magnifying glass. Sorry. Sorry, that was. You are better than that. Yeah, I am.

But so I woke up and there was this peacock literally looking at me like this. That's terrifying. Like with its beak in my face. And what did you say to it? I freaked out. I screamed. And this peacock like jumped into the air. Because you know how peacocks can like jump really high?

Yeah. Because they can't fly, but they can kind of like flap up. Yeah. And it like jumped up onto the roof of the like thing where we were near. It was like a donger, like, you know. How did you survive this? I'm surprised you made it out to sell a tail.

I was really panicked and my mum and dad like sprinted around and were like, what the fuck is going on? And it was so scary. Did you scream at them, I'm not a bird guy? I don't like birds, okay. Anyway, so to answer your question, yay or nay on the feeding birds at the beach, absolutely nay. No way.

Because obviously it brings them all over, but then it also teaches them that humans equals food. Yes. It's really people. Have you ever been at the beach, right, and someone else has done it, like near you, and you're just like, why would you do that, you cockhead? Because they think they're being nice. Yeah, I know.

But, like, they do it and then they learn that they think that there's all this. But remember, though, when you told that story about how you thought it would be really funny if you threw chips and put birds into one concentrated area? Well, it wouldn't be really funny. It is hilarious. But, like, you're saying, oh, they will learn the wrong thing. Like, so now who's playing?

Well, they'll learn not to fucking catch public transport. You're all high and mighty about that now. Beach Babe Tony. Beach Babe Tony reporting for duty. Asking a stranger to help put on sunscreen, which is a little bit sexy. Now, I know it can be perceived as sexy, but then on the other hand, it's also like, hey, the sun is dangerous.

Yeah. UV rays is real. There's no one else here. I can't reach this spot on my lower back. Um, I guess it's like one of those things, and this is something you've taught me, that it's okay to ask. It's also okay to say no.

Like if someone asked you in a creepy way, obviously I'd go, no thanks. Like, you know, I think it's my right to say no. But if someone's like, hey, I'm so sorry. Like if I was at the beach and there was a group of girls next to me, you know, or whatever, I would probably be like, yo, I'm really sorry, but do you mind giving me a hand? So I remember when, because we used to go to the beach all the time for when we like our friends started to become of driving age, to get up early on a Sunday and all drive down to the beach was like,

suddenly we're free. We've got cars. We can actually go places that aren't our own backyards. And being at the beach before the sun comes up or like as the sun's rising or whatever, you feel like a badass. But because we were, like, 15, 16, like, a boy touching another boy. Like, it was just, like, this really, like, is this gay? Yeah. I'm not gay.

And because it was 40 years ago, so times have really changed. It was a different time. Are we doing this? It was a different time but it was a bit of a like a like almost like a taboo to ask a friend to do it i don't even think it's just that i think it's just like oh is being safe lame you know how it's like oh you're wearing a fucking helmet on your bike? Oh, you were in a rush first? Yeah, you know what I mean? I was wearing a rash first. Have you ever seen that meme and it's like, oh, I was putting on sunscreen and this guy called me a pussy? Like, imagine thinking you're stronger than the sun. Or fucking fire.

Yeah, like, what are you going to do? Like, nah, fuck you. And the sun goes, whoa, bro, sorry. You want to step outside? You know, like, and ask a cloud to come across. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, what would you – the option is, like, you get burnt and you get skin cancer or not.

Like, they're actually the two options. Be careful in that fight. You might end up in the burns unit. I've got a great guy if you need one. No. He doesn't like jokes, but he's pretty cool. He's got medical degrees. But, you know, I think it's probably more of a, like,

how embarrassing you're, like, taking care of yourself. Yeah. You know? Times have changed. Yeah, they have. It's like in the future, looking after yourself is cool. Yeah. When now I have actually no qualms, like, wearing sunscreen, a rashie.

Like, I have, like, a long-sleeve, like, paddle suit. I've seen Tony drive her Audi onto the beach and just stay in the car to avoid the sun. Sunroof's open. I'm not Tony drive her Audi onto the beach and just stay in the car to avoid the sun. Sunroof's open. I'm not trying to. Oh, sunroof. Yeah. Geez, I forget how nice it is where you are.

Yeah. Where I am in the Audi. Okay, this seems more like a funny dare of a video, which I hope we make you do at some stage. Okay. Trying to sit so close to someone who has an umbrella in an attempt to steal their shade. Oh, that's so awkward.

But you know how, like, late afternoon, early morning, the angle of the sun means if you're sitting under your umbrella, you're probably 10 metres from where the shady bit is. From where the actual, yeah. Yeah, so, like, at the right time of day, this is actually quite easy. But don't you normally, I thought that it was like a thing that you like move the umbrella or move with the umbrella to like or angle it to try and catch the.

Well, we will chat soon about the new cool cabana that's been all everywhere in Australia this summer. Yeah, so I was going to say, I thought that there was people talking about wanting to ban umbrellas and stuff on the beach. There has been chat about this, yeah. Because it takes up so much space. But, again, what's the alternative? That no one goes and spends time there or everyone ends up getting burnt?

Well, when you see, like I've seen pictures of hundreds of cabanas. Yeah. Are you talking about the blue and white ones? Yeah. They look sick. Yeah. So you rock up to the beach and there pictures of hundreds of cabanas. Yeah. Are you talking about the blue and white ones? Yeah. They look sick. Yeah. So you rock up to the beach and there's literally hundreds of them and you suddenly go, oh, it's like there's no spare space for me to sit down

because everyone's claiming their three by three. And, again, if there's one or two, it's fine. But when there's hundreds, suddenly the beach looks full. But, like, go to a different beach. There's literally thousands of kilometres of coastline in Australia. Like, as if there's not another spot that you can't find a, like, spot to sit down. Excuse me.

I just think it's, like, so lame to be like, oh, well, there's all these, like, get over it. And not you. I'm saying, like, in general. I think there's just that there's plenty of room for everybody to enjoy themselves. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Who am I?

You are gorgeous. Oh. I think the problem with people who live in the eastern suburbs of Sydney and Bondi is that when you say there's plenty of other beaches, they're like, well, no, there isn't. There actually isn't, yeah. The world doesn't exist within a 500-metre radius of where I stand right now.

Yeah, and because it's like that curved bay at Bondi, like there's not that much space. Yeah, that is a good point actually. Surfer girl, Toni. Beach babe, Toni. Yeah. You're about to go in for a swim. Yeah.

And do you say to a stranger, oh, can you just watch my stuff? Okay, so this is the biggest anxiety-inducing thing that I have about going to the beach because I love going to the beach. I'm a swimmer from way back. You're a beach babe. I'm a beach babe. You actually look You're a beach babe. I'm a beach babe. You actually look like a beach babe today. You look beautiful.

Get that four inches out, girlfriend. Why? Show you a good time. Why do I look like a beach babe? You just got a glow about you. Thank you. It's like COVID's been gone and you're back. You've listened to the Macklemore.

You're pumped up. Oh, I'm pumped up. You feeling good? Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's so stressful the thought of like leaving your stuff on the beach. That was another reason I think why stand-up paddleboarding wasn't for me. No, it's not for you.

Because I just get so stressed about leaving my stuff on the beach. Then I was like, oh, I'll leave it all in the car and just take my car keys with me on the stand-up paddleboard. Well, I bought this, like, waterproof pouch, but then I was so stressed that the waterproof pouch wasn't going to be waterproof. And then you're just in a whole world of pain the whole time. You're thinking about it.

You can't stop thinking about it. And then what do you do? And then what if you lose your car keys, right, and everything's in the car? So you can't even call anyone to help you because you fucking locked your phone in there so that it wouldn't get wet or stolen. Why don't you just go on the stand-up paddleboard on your Audi? And then you'll have all your stuff next to you in the passenger seat.

That's a good point. Yep. Okay. Hang on. I've actually don't have the stand-up paddleboard anymore anyway. So it's probably this is like a mood point. It's a mood point. Yeah.

I think we're all, not that we need convincing, but we're also learning why stand-up paddleboarding wasn't for you. And not everything's for everyone. No, thank you. I appreciate that. But these logistics just aren't set up for you. Like, for example, I'm not a bird guy, you know, as an example. I'm not a bird guy. I'm not.

But I think it goes back to swimming in the beach as well. Like, all your stuff's there. But, like, what if the one person you say, do you mind having a look at my stuff, like, looking after my stuff, they, like, either are a robber or they leave. I'll watch it all the way to my bank account. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? Or they're, like, watching it and then they're like, oh, I actually.

Okay, so what if you say to the mum at the cabana next year, you go, hey, I'm just going for a dip. Do you mind watching my stuff? Right? And they go, oh, my God, yeah, babe, totally fine. Like we're sitting up here for the whole day. Their child eats a strawberry by accident. They're anaphylactic to strawberries.

The daughter goes into anaphylactic shock and she goes, well, I've got to take my daughter to the hospital, but I'm supposed to be watching this girl's stuff. What would you expect her to choose? What's the moral dilemma there for the mum? You're putting someone in this horrible position. Not really. Fuck that kid.

There's keys to watch. Thank you. But then how bad would they feel, you know? Not at all because they've made the right decision. Where's their EpiPen? They asked someone else to watch their bag. It got stolen, so the EpiPen's gone. And this is why you should never eat strawberries.

Don't go to the beach. Stay home. Stay home. All right, so the moral of the story from Beach Babe Tony Lodge is... Stay home. Don't go to the beach. Avoid at all costs. Carry your EpiPen.

Watch your keys. And don't trust birds. Hi, it's Zach from Florida and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Janelle McKenzie, thank you so much. Thanks, Janelle. Thanks, Macca. Macca.

Yep. Matt Gleeson, one of our many Gleeses. Oh, is that the original Glees or the big Glees? The O'Glees. I don't know. I've lost count. No Gleeses. Olivia Sue, Jenny Gogo, DJ, and Louise McKitty.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Bloody love to see it. So. The update everyone's been waiting for. About 18 months ago, Tony Lodge was faced with a dilemma. I got invited to my friend Franco's wedding, and Franco's also our video guy.

He cuts all of our videos. He works for us. He's one of my closest friends. He announced that he was getting married and I got the save the date in the mail. And it was on a certain Saturday that I'd about a year previously to that bought tickets to go and see Lorde. And Lorde is probably my favourite artist. Top three people? Probably.

With like Alison Roman and maybe Mindy. Mindy Kaling. Yeah. And Zoe Foster Blake, special dispensation for Zoe Foster Blake. Okay, so they're your like OGs. Yeah, I love them. Yeah. And I've never seen Lorde because every time she's come,

it's like not worked out because I've been in Melbourne when she played in Perth and Perth when she played in Melbourne. Yeah, it always fucked up. There was just something every time and the day that these tickets went on sale, so about two years ago, I woke up early and I was like, I'm buying the best tickets I can get. I bought these fucking awesome tickets. On the balcony.

They were, yes. So good. They were really, really good tickets and I was like, I am not missing out again. So you were missing out because Franco's wedding. What a selfish guy. Turns out Franco's wedding came up and I was like, I am not missing out again. So you were missing out because Franco's wedding. Turns out Franco's wedding came up and I was like, well, he's one of my closest. I cannot miss his wedding.

Like that's just not possible. And I spoke to you on the podcast about how I was really gutted, but the right thing to do was to go to Franco's wedding. So I say I'll take those tickets off your hand. You and Franco and your partners. So I bought four tickets for you to see Lorde in Sydney. In Sydney, which was a couple of days after the wedding. You're up in Sydney for the wedding and then you're like,

yep, Lorde's playing a few nights later. So you don't have to choose anymore. You can go both. It actually worked out perfectly time-wise. Yep. And it was just so thoughtful of you to buy it because I was really gutted I couldn't go. Obviously I would never miss a friend's wedding for something like that,

but I was really gutted I couldn't go and it was so thoughtful that you not only bought the tickets for me but also you went, Franco, as your wedding present, like all four of you go together, have a great time. Have a great time. And then we both got COVID. So you didn't go to the wedding. I didn't go to Lorde.

You didn't go to Lorde. Because I was stuck in Melbourne on my bed. Yep. Dead. Like fucked. Yep. Proper fucked. So it was a whole fuck up.

And I also had to call Franco and say, I know that it sounds like I'm calling in sick to your wedding because you know that I had tickets to Lourdes. What do you mean sounds like? No, but because I had tickets. Oh, Frank, I guess I can't come to your wedding. And he's like, are you going to Lourdes instead? I was like, no.

We're on each other's team. What? I'm literally like isolating. I have COVID. I can't do anything. I can't come to your wedding. And that really sucked. So I had to convince someone to come with me as a plus one to Lord originally.

That makes me so angry because I really wanted to go. And I wanted someone to get the tickets who actually wanted to go. And you were like, oh, I'll just go. And I was like, no, you need to commit and tell me that you actually are going to go and enjoy it. Well, I was committed until I got COVID. Like I would have gone and liked it. I like Lord. Not as much as you, but I to go and enjoy it. Well, I was committed until I got COVID. Like I would have gone and liked it. I like Lorde.

I'm not as much as you, but I would have enjoyed the night. But then just then you said I had to convince someone to go as my plus one, which makes me angry because like I could have given the tickets to someone who actually wanted to go. So who I convinced was Tim and he took a bit of convincing and then he goes, fine, I'll go. And then I'm like, well, I've got COVID. I can't come anymore. So Tim goes, well, now I've got tickets to a show that the only reason I was going to go

was to hang out with you and now you're not going to be there. And he said, okay, I didn't tell you this at the time. He said, should we give them back to Tony and she can give them to someone? Well, I would have done that because I had people that wanted to see the show. I said, Tim, I've stubbornly backed myself in. I said I'll take care of it. No, but I could have. So we don't give it back to Tony.

But I could have given them to someone who actually wanted to see Lorde. So Tim goes, fine. I'll find someone to go with me. Fine. I'll find someone to go with me. And was this, like, all on the day of the concert? Yeah, all the day before. Yeah, it was pretty tight.

Yeah. So I actually don't know this. So Tim decides he's not going to go. And because you've offered to take the tickets back and I've said no, it's like we felt like it was too late to call you back. But we were adamant and I was adamant. I was like, someone needs to fucking go to this show and they need to fucking love it.

Kind of like your original idea. Like as long as they don't get wasted, at least it's all not for nothing. But, yep. So Tim knows this. Knows. Kind of like your original idea, like as long as they don't get wasted, at least it's all not for nothing. Yep. So Tim knows this guy from Grindr. Sure. That he met at 4am a few months ago. Yep.

And Tim puts on Instagram, I have tickets to Lorde. Yes, Tony? I could, like, I had people that wanted thee. Yes, Tony? I could, like, I had people that wanted the tickets. Who was that? And I said that to you. Yep. And so this guy goes, oh, hey, how have you been? Haven't seen you in a few months.

I'll go with you. Yeah. Or actually, though, I actually actually been chatting to this other guy on Grindr. Can I take the other guy? Yep. So I would like to let you know, Tony, that a friend of mine hooked up with a guy and he hooked up with a guy who took some guy to Lord

and they had a great time. And they wish to say thank you. It's hard for me to be chill in this moment. But they loved it. Okay. So because I obviously got in tune. Also, they have all your contact details. Yeah, I know.

That's what literally I was about to say, literally all of my information. Yeah, so they said to say thanks to Tony. So they got passed back to the original Grindr guy. So they had all of my contact details, but they didn't think to use those to say thanks. Well, they thought it might have been a bit rude to directly message you. So then they told the guy

who looked up with you. You just literally gave these random people literally all of my information. And Lord Tickets. And they told Tim to tell me to tell you that they were very thankful and it was a great night. So thank you on behalf of them. We're going to move on, but I would like for you to know

that I am fucked off about that. First of all, I already know. Yeah, cool. Second of all, do you agree? Okay, maybe not with the total thing, but do you agree that after I had declined you a few times because i actually had people that wanted them and i told you that if i told you like 4 p.m of on the day oh actually yeah you can't have them back would you have been like well it's fucking too late now because blah blah blah no because

there was people that wanted them and i said that to you that's what tim said anyway i back myself into no. No, hang on. Producer Cam, can you back me up here, please? No, don't bring Cam into this. Because you know that you did the wrong thing. No, because it's unfair to put someone in between mum and dad. It was such a waste, though. And you just, like, passed all of my contact, which is fucked,

all of my contact information to these random fucking people. I agree that it feels like a waste because your friends didn't get to go. Yes. I didn't get to go. You didn't get to go to either of the shows. Which just like adds insult to injury. The only person that was able to actually get there. I know.

This is my saving grace, I feel. Is Franco. Yeah. So should we give him a call so at least we know someone that's been to Lorde? Yeah, so our video guy, Franco, he was the only one not struck down with COVID. He's our lifeline. We're going to live vicariously through. Hello.

Hey, Franco. Tony and Ryan, how are you? Hello. I'm good. How are you? Good. Congratulations on the wedding. Yes. Ryan, how are you? Hello. I'm good. How are you? Good. Congratulations on the wedding. Yes.

Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there, Franco. I had legit COVID. Yeah, no, I know. You sounded awful on the phone, so I forgive you. Thank you. And sorry I couldn't make it.

You didn't invite me until two weeks prior, so it was obviously. Yeah, look, that one's my bad, so I understand. But also, even if he said yes, he also had COVID. So there was really no way he could be there. Yeah, so that's fair enough. So because of COVID, Tony obviously couldn't go to the wedding. She obviously couldn't go and see Lorde. I couldn't go and see Lorde.

So we're kind of all feeling a bit depresso that no one got to see Lorde. So considering you were the only one who got to go, I was just curious. How was it? I want to live vicariously through you. How was Lorde? Was it amazing? Oh, Lorde. Yeah, look, from what I saw, she did a really good performance.

So here's the thing. I totally forgot about the concert. I forgot about it. You forgot about it? Yeah. So obviously, you know, the wedding and the big event and planning. How do you forget about Lorde considering you would have, I assumed, gone, yep, got the wedding, then the next day we've got stuff on,

then obviously on the Monday we'll go up to see. At what stage did that just drift out of your subconscious? I really sound like I'm shifting the blame here, but usually when I'm going to a concert, I book the tickets and then I've got the tickets, you know, in my email. I know it's coming up and I put it in my calendar. I didn't really hear anything from Ryan, no. So because I sent the tickets to Tony.

So did Ryan not send you the tickets or anything, Franco? No, I didn't get the tickets from Ryan. No, because I forwarded them on to Tony, who obviously then passed them on to you. See, I actually did get a text from Tony the morning after what would have been the Lord's concert. What did that say, the day after? Yeah, it had...

She sent me the tickets on a Tuesday. And the concert was on a Monday. It said, don't forget about Lord tonight, Franco. In my defence, it was a long weekend. You said, don't forget about Lord tonight. And he said, it was last night and I also didn't go. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Lord tonight and he said it was last night and I also didn't go. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

So with the tickets I had, which were Tony's, someone went and enjoyed it. But in the tickets I spent, four tickets, zero people went. So Ryan, 100% success rate in allocating tickets. Tony. To some random person. Who exists in the world. But you, 0%. And you had the gall to come at me.

Actually, that is a good point. Is that my Franco? Yeah. Do you think that's my fault? Yes. I think, honestly, look, if you sent them to me a day earlier, I could have gone. I was in, you know, the right city for once.

Okay, there's no need to be rude, Franco. Yeah, right. Okay. So what we're saying is that of the six Lord tickets that were purchased over a year in advance, no one went. No, well, the two guys from Grindr did. Should we call them then? Yeah.

That's the closest relation to us is the two Randons from Grindr. Great. Two from Six. I feel bad for Lorde. Me too. She would have noticed we weren't there. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Well. Thanks, Franco. Congratulations once again. Yeah. Thanks, Franco. Thank you very much. I might see you guys in the next three years.

If Tony fucking rocks up. We'll see. I think I've got COVID then. Thanks, Franco. All right, bye. Tony. All right, so that's my bad. That's my bad.

You know what? I'll cop that. I'm sorry. I've got a couple of updates real quick. Not Lord related, unfortunately. This Saturday, Saturday morning, 9am at the Sydney Harbour. No, the Sydney Opera House. The Sydney Harbour House.

The Sydney Harbour House. If you want to be a part of I Still Call Australia Home, the video that Tony's going to film because she was left out of the original. We're going to re-film this whole video. We're travelling around Australia. Come down to the Sydney Opera House. It's an unofficial event. she was left out of the original. We're going to re-film this whole video. We're travelling around Australia. Come down to the Sydney Opera House. It's an unofficial event. Don't rock up to the door.

No. No, don't talk to anyone. No, we'll be on the stairs out the front. Yep. And we just need you to be a part of singing I Still Call Australia Home, just the last two lines. Yep. Make sure that you're in your white button-up,

your black pants, your smart shoes. That's a big part of it. Absolutely. Hair back, obviously. I would prefer, but that's okay. Looking slick. And, yeah, make sure you don't tell anybody because it's an unofficial event. Yeah.

Also, speaking of unofficial events, this Thursday night we will be in Adelaide. Yes. We will be at the Rundle Mall Balls. Rundle Mall Balls. Rundle Mall Balls. And if you're from Adelaide, you know what that means. If not, go to the Facebook group and you'll see the balls. They're fucking weird looking, but that's where we'll be. It turns out it's like 30 metres from a Dimmicks, but again.

Not related. Not official. If you want to bring your book to be signed by Tony, if you want to come have a selfie, say g'day. Yeah. If you want to buy a book there, that's also fine, but don't tell them again. It's nothing to do with them.

Nothing to do with them. Unofficial. Unofficial. All right, you're going to love to see it. Finish it off. I do. I saw this on Twitter and it's a photo of a little cat. Oh, look at that.

Yeah. And it says, Our orange cat climbed up the chimney today and we thought we had to visit a cat for a while until we realised it was Henry. And in the photo that I just showed you, it's like a grey cat. Yeah. So they thought that this random cat had broken into their house and was like pretending to love them.

But it's just like covered in soot from the chimney. Oh, my God. So it's their little orange cat like covered in dust. Oh, my God. They're like, who's this fucking stranger? Yeah, and they were just like, get this fucking random cat out of our house. And it's their cat, Henry, who was just wearing a bit of a disguise. Oh, Henry.

Poor little thing. But, yeah, pretty cute. I thought that was very wholesome. That is very wholesome. I've got one from Tapa Hannah-Jones. Hannah-Jones. Yeah. Not the Hannah-Jones that I went to high school with, for those playing along at home.

That's weird. Yeah. I wonder what she's up to. How is she? She's good. Good. She got a lord? I'll ask her. You probably did ask her. That's weird. Yeah. I wonder what she's up to. How is she? She's good. Good. Should she go to Lorde? I'll ask her.

You probably did ask her. You're like, look, I know we haven't spoken, Han, in about 12 years. Hey, Jay, how you been, bro? Yeah, cool. You want to go to Lorde? Yeah. She's like, who the fuck are you? Nah, we were all good, mate.

She would remember. I don't think so. Hannah Jones said, I went to my chiropractor today and it had me thinking about the time you guys did things you can say at the chiropractor today and it had me thinking about the time you guys did things you can say at the chiropractor and also in the bedroom. Nice. As he cracked my neck, I groaned and then we both laughed and I

said, oh my god, do you listen to Tony and Ryan? And he said yes. No way. Yeah. They both agreed we both agreed you guys are bloody hilarious. Do you reckon it was Hot Ramsey at my chiropractor? Oh, no, he's an osteo. He's an osteo.

I'm glad Hannah met this bloke and had her spine bent into places and then he also did a chiropractic session. A chiropractic session is not the official term. I have no idea. But, Hannah, I'm glad you and you guys. I'd love to see that. That's awesome. Just bringing moaners together.

Yep. Well, you know what they say. What do they say? Moan me once, shame on me. Moan me twice, we both listen to Tony and Ryan. That's what they say. That is poetry. Big feet, big shoes.

Big moans, big news. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I love Tony and Ryan. We'll see you tomorrow. Pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

Bye.