Toni and Ryan - Toni Needs A Colonoscopy

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Ricecooker chat - Bestfriends catch-up - Hotel check-in times - love ya!!!!!Video for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I just want to share with you what I walked into. There's Tony, I believe, Charles, maybe. They're all sitting around a computer going, oh, that's a bit expensive. Oh, that's a bit expensive. This seems important. Is Tony buying a car? Yeah. Is someone buying a house?

Everybody's like, we are focused. And then Tony leans back and goes, it's the... It's the... Hi, I'm Gemma. I'm happy. We're from Perth, Western Australia. I'm Zane Thomas from Bloomingrove, Texas, USA.

I'm Noah from Bucharest, Romania. And I'm through this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. If you're an OG Tarpa, welcome back. If you're a new tarpa, welcome. Let's be friends. Happy New Year. I'm Ryan.

This is Tony. Hello. Let's be friends. Now, this podcast was once described as, Hot Fun Garbage. Are we getting back to like owning Hot Fun Garbage? Our roots. Yeah.

Roots. Roots. Does that feel right? It feels right to me. And every time someone says, do you mind that we call it that? I said, I wrote that. Wasn't it a review? No, I wrote it as like our bio somewhere.

It was me. I thought it was tarpa generated. No, no. I wrote it. Oh, well done. Yeah, I'm a marketing executive. Well, if you knew here, no one's going to tell you what to do. Or who to be or what you can and cannot laugh at.

Safe place. Come on in. Yeah. And happy New Year. Yeah. 2020 Twix. Bo Bo. I just want to share with you what I walked into when I came into the office for 2020 Twix.

There's Tony. I believe Charles. They're all sitting around a computer going, what about this? Oh, that's pretty expensive. Oh, that's a bit expensive. Oh, what do you? And I go, what's going on here? What are these guys working away?

out and discussing. And then Tony leans back and goes, it's the Rolls Royce of rice cookers. Yeah. Is there something you'd like to share with us? A big purchase over the break. Well, I did look at the rice cookies that are, you know, $250,300.

Yeah. I got the $50, Cambrook. The Canbrook Rice Express, I believe it's cool. Yeah. And? Absolutely excellent. I've never seen you and other people be so locked

in and concentrating on a certain topic. And I was like, this seems important. Is Tony buying a car? Yeah. It's something buying a house. Everybody's like, we are focused. Yeah, I know. It was like, you know how last year that thing went around where it was like, is that

a little screen purchase or a big screen purchase? It was a big screen purchase. I don't buy rice cookers on a phone, mate. I take it seriously. I wouldn't fuck around with that. Is that, do you want burnt rice? That's what I'll say. Well, tell me about.

how you even got to there. I did the double screen. Yeah, but like, is this been a long time coming? Yeah, like, what was the thing that got you over the line? You're like, I need a rice cooker. Because I... Was there an incident? Well, I have burnt a lot of rice in my time and I started trying to cook it in the instant pot. And I just kind of couldn't really get it right. It wasn't always fucked. It just wasn't great. And then I went on Reddit, spent about five days in there, did an expedition through the fucking valleys and troughs of Reddett. And, and, and, And everybody was saying like, no, the instant pot for rice is just not really the vibe. Sometimes you just need a single use appliance.

And I don't mean use it once and then go out away. I mean like single service. I'll get seven rice cookies because I'm planning on having rice a few times. It's going to have it every day. So if you wouldn't mind. And then I just couldn't get it right. And then you know what I did. The real sacrilegious thing that I did, I just started doing the microwave rice.

And you know what, sacrilege? The rice isn't that bad, but it's fucking expensive. Yeah. And it's such a waste. Like it's, you know, like it's just, it's so wasteful. I'm Natalie and Brulia because we've literally just said if you knew here, welcome this is a safe place. And it is. And there's a part of me that wants to not judge you for using the microwave.

Yeah. But judge you for. admitting to using the microwave? Because I think like we all do it. I know. I think that microwave. That's why I'm like, it is a safe place.

So like here. Microwave rice has one purpose and one purpose only that I'll allow. Workplace kitchen. Yeah. Do your single serve rice in a little wee cup in the microwave? I think that's fair play. I don't think that at home you can. I'm doing an Uncle Ben's family back.

Do you know what I mean? What a joker. Oh, also I don't know who's. Tommy? What's that rice cook? called? Zogi Rushi. Zodji Rushi. That's the Rolls Royce of Riosk.

You should look that up. There's some good videos about it on YouTube. Also, I've taken someone's container lid home. It's got green on the side. It's mine. Oh, sorry, Charles. Because I've got a container here with no lid. Yeah.

And because Ryan had to do all of his containers, take them all home because he had to bring his lunch in a bag the other day because every tapware that his wife owns was here. And it wasn't clean. You know, like two things perfectly aligned? I'm like, I had to bring lunch to work in a bag and then I walk in and go, why are there 57 lunch containers sitting over the table? Who put these on my desk?

And we were like, oh, we did a bit of a clean out last year. And that was what I was left over. And I'm like, oh, and there are all the containers. Why are you holding a glad bag full of risotto? It was like the most upsetting thing ever. It was next to seeing a. fish in a bath. Maybe the worst thing you could have walked in with.

Isn't that the worst thing you've ever seen? Just a fish in a bag. I made a video about it. Maybe I'll post it today. About a fish in a bag? No. About your lunch? I was like, why don't fish a bag?

Nice. Yeah, it's good stuff. It was harrowing. We got a message here from Adam Bath. Adam, get out of the bath. That's what we call him. Adam Bath, Vader. Adam Bath, follow me, Jason.

message saying there were so many answers left un... Sorry. Oh, first time back. Housekeeping. So many answers left unquestioned. Yeah. And you know what? So fair.

That's why we said it's a safe space. We'll never question you. At a message saying there were so many questions left unanswered last year. What happened to Tony's bleeding asshole? Yeah. Where is producer Sophie? Yeah. Did Tony and Ryan catch up over the break?

How is Pippa's surgery? Yeah. Did Tony have another international trip cut short due to injury or illness foreshadowing? What did Charles Lilly and Tommy get for Secret Santa? Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, I know. Is Lily boyfriend okay? Is anyone else's dick hard for heated rivalry?

Yes, that we have gotten that a lot, actually. So we thought we'd do best friends catch up housekeeping, answering your questions. I know you've got a protein smoothie. It's empty. Oh, I've got to. I know that you just said it's empty, but this, that just, I was like, oh. Yeah, sorry.

I've got a Maccafe coffee. Do we need some tea? Like, as friends catch up, what feels right? No, I've got some cold water here. It's pretty fucking hot today. So I think the cold water will do. I can't believe you're drinking a hot coffee. It's so hot.

Yeah, it is. It's actually, it's warming up, isn't it? First of all, what happened to Tony's bleeding asshole? Thank you so much for asking. So it's, it only bled for the one day. Great. So it's not continued to bleed, which is good. But I did have a follow up at the doctor literally two days.

ago and I do have to go and have a colonoscopy. Yeah. Yeah. That's real life. No. I mean, yeah, actually, no empty offers. You can come. I think I'm going to come and get one as well.

Sorry, actually everything that we do, we do together. Not like a couple's massage, like when you're laying next to each other with the. Facing each other. Facing away, but the pipes are facing each other. You know how every year for the last five years I said, this is the year. I'm going to figure out what's wrong with my tummy. Yep. Someone's like, you need to, like, go and, like, start from scratch and get a pipe up there.

Yeah. Someone did message and say that one of the worst things you can do if you're, like, gluten-free is either Twix. Are you joking me? They've got, like, heaps of gluten in them. Oh, does it say on the packet? Luckily, you had those there. I mean, I know, my nose all up so hard.

How do you lap? Um, ingredients. Gluten. May contain wheat and gluten. Well, may. Oh, may contain. Oh, who gets? Oh, hang.

Contains wheat, gluten, milk and soy. I don't do well with any of those four things. So. 2027 is the year I saw my gutter out. Yeah, but because we've already written 2020 Twix down. It just rhymes too well. And I've already committed to the videos. Yeah.

Yeah. And we've already bought so many Twixers. Yeah. And I've invested in Twix. For you to have one every day. Also, good asshole update will Well not really

Because I have to have a colonoscopy No but the good thing is that you're not just like Baring your head in the sand No see I actually really appreciate that Because that would be easier I don't know if this is like too intimate of personal information Oh compared to the last three minutes I don't know but so I had to have a blood test

And I was like do I have to have the colonoscopy And they go let's see what the blood's come back And like what they say So your infection markers In a blood test should be like less than three. Mine are 35. So I think that there is something going on internally.

Don't know what it is yet. Stay tuned. So I've got out of the column I'll be. So I'm going to need a bit of time of work, probably. Aren't they pretty, I'm pretty sure producer Sof had one and came in that day? I don't think that she did. No, she needed three weeks off. Yeah.

And so do I. Speaking of producer Sophie, happy birthday, producer Sophie. birthday produces. She's not here. She's not here. Sophie's been a freelancer. Like, she freelances with us for about a year now.

Yeah. So she's not on the pod, but she does some BTS. Yeah, but she doesn't like permanently work here. So everyone's like, why don't she permanently work there? Like she hasn't.

There's no drama. No. I actually am seeing Sophie. Should we start some? Should we start some drama with Sophie? Maybe I'll go to her colonoscopy guy and like to talk shit about it. Oh, talk shit.

Yeah. Nice. I didn't mean that. But we actually are sending Sophie some wine, um, which she will. absolutely love. And Tony might send herself around to help her drink it.

Yeah. Also, do you reckon if we, there was like a podcast with colonoscopias, uh, that it would be called talking shit. Yeah, but I also really like colonoscopyers,

like P-E-E-R-S, like peers at work. That's very funny. Uh, or maybe you'd recorded at Brighton Baths and you're on the colonoscopy P-I-E-R. That's very good. That's good.

That's like an, on a matter, P-R. No. Oh, nice. on him Adam Bathapia Adam Barthapia says

did Tony and Ryan catch up over the break now you're about to hear just where we're at and because hey you cancel we both did it to each other and they're both the saddest reasons so the well the first thing actually is that

I forgot to give an update about is that I went to Bali for about three days and had to come home yeah that was the first thing we Tombs and I both got so at the end of last year, everybody on our team was really sick. And I was like, stay the fuck away from me. I don't want to get sick. And then I landed in Bali, when did a cooking class, got sick,

cut to come home. Like, very bad. I had the flu real bad. So because I came home early, I talked to you, Ryan, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, yeah, we're home. And you were like, when you're feeling better, like, come up and we'll catch up. I was on the way to your house. So he's like, I'm coming over.

I mean the, like, I was like, I'm getting in the car in like half an hour. I was like, great. Bring your bathers. Tony's like, I'll stop and get some nice coffees for you and Bridge. Yeah, I was like, let's get some lunch. Like, Torbs were with me, of course. And like, I'm in the car. And then Ryan calls me and I was like, I know what this is.

Like, I just, you know what. Because you were like on the way. So I went home and not, because I was down the street. I get home and I go, hey, bridge. Tony and Torbs are on the way. We're going to swim. We're going to do lunch. They're bringing coffees.

They're bringing food. It's going to be a great day. Yeah. and the phone starts ringing in the car and I go, oh, here we fucking go. And Ryan goes, yeah, so you haven't left you, have you? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I told you. I was like, how old me in the car?

And you're like, yeah, so it's actually my wedding anniversary. And Bridget has just reminded me. And Mabel's at daycare. So we were going to go and have lunch. But I didn't remember and I didn't know that we had plans. but I'm really sorry. And I was like, are you calling me from the bathroom? And you're like, oh, well, I just, you know,

I didn't want to kind of in the kitchen next to Bridge go like, oh, I totally forgot that we were doing something. Yeah. So I just turned around and had to drive home. And Bridge goes to the, she's coming around now. And I go, yeah, she goes, you know what day it is? And I went, yeah. Yep.

Carrey the five. What's fucked up is that we've been. married for five years now, by the way. Crazy. And this is the first time Bridgett's ever remembered. Yeah. So I was like, don't you fucking get on your high. Yeah, okay.

But I guess it was like, you forgot four years in a row. It was the perfect lineup of like, Mabel was at daycare. It was like a beautiful sunny day. You know, like I totally get it. Lunch plan, nice wine purchased. And I feel like it triggered something in me because I'd already put a lot of sunscreen on.

Because it's quite a hot day and we were going to go to me. And do you remember when I started stand up paddle boarding and the ladies like at the paddle club how we started that group chat? Yeah. Easily that group. I'm still, yeah, but that I think they moved to a different one because they don't text in there. Yeah, maybe they are stander boarding as often as you are. I like to think about that more than that that have just ghosted me. And if you are new here, don't bring it up.

No, it's all, it's fair game. That's fine. I've got to stand a paddleboard at home. Use it twice. Sorry, pumped it up twice You've kept it I still have it Because the reason

You just never know And then it actually ended up being I know For the show Yeah, actually that is true Like we went and used to that thing And you just never know

I just think it's fun Anyway And Tony was Should we talk about Well the day I got cancelled on I'd already put on my sunscreen On

And I was sitting on the couch With my sunscreen on and then I had to just like wash it all off. So I'm in the car and then I just turned around and drove home and had to wash all my sunscreen off. That's okay. Don't want you to feel bad. I'm just telling you the turn of it.

Nah, it's actually, it's fair play. But then I said come tomorrow and Tony said, yeah, great. And then you cancelled on me because you said, I've found out with seven hours notice that it's hard rubbish. No, I'd actually booked. I got junk. So it wasn't hard. rubbish ship was that I'd booked that I was like yep I'll get the truck to come next week

and because it was during that period of time we don't know what date is I was like that's coming on Tuesday so that's fine towards was like that's tomorrow and I was like no no we're going to Ryan's tomorrow and he's like no the got that's tomorrow is Tuesday so that was the yeah so my answer was more embarrassing I think because so we didn't catch up over the break no we didn't and then both of us was sick at various points yeah it was It was, we had best intentions. Yep. Lily, Lily's boyfriend okay from surgery.

Yep, he's fine. Pip are okay from surgery. She has recovered well. She was okay. She just had to have, she had a dental clean then while she was under. They pulled a few teeth out. So it was a bit of a, yeah. So she's got a little gap here now.

Yeah. That's quite cute though. Is it? He's a bit of character. Oh. Yeah. Oh, Charles Lillian, Tommy Secret Santa. Okay.

So we were planning on doing this on the show and then we were planning on doing it the live stream then we'll play like it just it kind of all got pushed down the road because we find out about and surgeries we all got sick and surgeries and everything kind of went wrong um Charles would you like to reveal what you got for Secret Santa? I got one of the best gifts I thought I got a Sprite hat which I wore all all holidays Charles wore it to the beach with me literally the other day that's awesome and also some new sunglasses which are sitting somewhere that's awesome that's great and Lily Lily got that for Charles A Sprite hat, that's cool.

Yeah. Yep. Lily, what did you get? So I got a really cool little like Japanese cup and dish and this really fun like clip thing. Chip clip. You know those clips you use in the kitchen that when you haven't eaten all your Doritos, then you. No. Not relatable.

Not aware. But you know what I mean? I think I need a chip clip for the coffee bean bag. You do. Yeah. Do you know that coffee beans go off? Did you fucking know. But because about a year ago, I bought like 90 kilos of coffee beans because I had a good special on.

And I was like, well, I'll keep in the cupboard, won't they? They don't. No. They start to taste a bit funny. Yeah. But even once you've opened it, you want to like, because I go, why is the coffee so great today? And bridge goes, oh, we've. It's a fresh bag.

Yeah. Yeah. So our grinder has like a seal on it. Oh, oh, oh. Now, our grinder has a seal on it, but like, then the other half of the bag is just like in fucking, you know, you know, and the seal, it's still like. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Now, all good.

Okay, yeah. Good job. And Tommy got that few. What did Tommy get? Um, I got custom tennis balls with my name on them. That's fucking sick. What a great idea. Oh, okay.

I can't resist him. I can't want to resist it. Charles goes, I got Tony, what should I get him? I was like, you should get him some personalised tennis. Well, he loves playing tennis. One of his goals this year is to play more tennis. You know what one of your goals should be? That is a great idea, Tony.

Thank you. Great job. And it seems like you guys all did a really great job for each other. Oh, and everybody got a meat thermometer. Because I promised to buy everyone to meet thermometer last year at some point. You got one too, but you weren't at the lunch when we exchanged gifts. It's at Charles's half. Sorry, I was on my deathbed.

Yeah, we all fucking had us. Yeah, we had a spell. Now, this is going to sound a bit addie. And it's, but here's my challenge for 2020. And you only have to do it once. It's not like a change. You're just like, do it once. Okay.

I want you to incept a good idea like you did with tennis balls and then not claim it for it. Yeah. I would challenge you with the same thing. Oh. Did you notice that I didn't text you. your birthday. That's that's one of yours. Did you notice that that that was all cleaning there. Yeah, I did that. That you do that. Okay, here's where I'm Natalie and Brulia. There are, this is like the ultimate conundrum. Because it was, you're being smug. So I thought. There are so many

great things that I've done and not taking credit for. But if I tell you what they are, then I am therefore taking credit for it. Same. People just don't know my greatness because I'm just quietly achieving. No. You're not quite. You're not quietly anything. I'm quietly achieving. You've never quietlyed anything. Okay. You're just achieving.

And that's okay. It was the year of being smart. It was. Yeah. Hmm. Hi, I'm Jemma. Hi, I'm Harkis. I'm Zane Thomas from Bloomingrove, Texas.

I'm Noah from Bucharest, Romania. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Hi. A massive shout out to a few of our champion Tarpers over in our Patreon. So like we said, we've got a lot of friends that listen to this. show. I mean, everyone's tarpa. We're a tapar. We're all friends. Come on in. A few of our champion tarpas at our Patreon though. Miranda Allen. Thanks, Miranda. First one of the year. Happy New Year.

To Miranda. Yeah, good on you Miranda. Julia, hardly knower. Rochelle Stice. Good on your Rochelle. Cass and Paul. Paul's the cat. I checked. So it's not two people using the same thing. That's good. Two beings. Two beings. Oh, it's still. Oh, so you were saying it's still bad. Okay, I'll chat to Cass and Paul. One thing we did say is early on, no shared patrons. No shared accounts. It's like Netflix.

We're cracking down. Alyssa Roberson, not Robinson. Is that a typo on our end? No, not a typo on our end because I just copy and paste them out. You know how it's like, it used to be back in the day people's last names were like their job? Like the blacksmiths and what? So you think Alyssa's a Robberson? Well, it's Robber and son.

Yeah. And that was there like, oh, who's that? The Robberson. And that's how it started. Oh, the robbers son. Yeah. Oh. That's, fuck you.

Up here, mate. Up here for thinking, down there for dancing. Lydia, hardly knower. Kim James. Good on you. Kim. I've never heard that saying before. No.

Yes, you have. No. Off here for thinking down here for dancing. Yeah. Down where? You like, your legs, etc. Because when you were like, up here for thinking down here. I was like, oh, here we go.

Some dirty joke from Tony's potty mouth. And then you talk about dancing. And I was like, oh, who's getting fingered then? Oh, well, you know what I call fingering? The hand dance. That's really upsetting. It is. Imagine coming home from the blue light disco.

I'm having a quick hand dance. I don't hate that actually. I think that could catch on. You know what? I think I like it. I think that could catch on. I ain't know like, try it on me. Not like the saying, not the.

Yeah, okay. Dancing while people are here. After this, I know it's a hot day, so we probably can't have sex. But what about a quick hand dance? I don't hate it. I like hand dance. What about like? Yes, I met this girl.

And then we went for a run on the dance floor and then a bit of a hand dance. You know what I mean? We're in the cinema. So we couldn't, you know, but like still a bit of a hand dance. Charles, how would you say it? Because you're a player. I don't know Charles met the love of his life

on holiday Were you I wasn't there I'm not very happy about it Did she ask your permission Yeah no one's talk to me about it I don't love Charles She's bury the fucking leave

We went through those 87 questions before No one mentioned that I remember like Just a Oh I know This is huge I know

Did you give her a bit of a hand dance Charles Do you know her name Charles Yeah I know her name. I'm not going to say it. No, no, I won't say, but I'm just, I just like that you know her name. I did have to go through the DMs and found her after they'd met.

Oh, and it was. Anyway, a bit of a hand dance going on over there. Kim, James, good on you, Kim, uh, Harry. You're who's at Harry? Claire Kamit, Carmen Zooli. Oh, shit, that's good. That's made me hungry. Carmen Zuli.

Yeah, can we get, uh, two Spanocopit. than a Carmen Zoolie. Isn't that sound good? And Emily McGra. Ooh, ah, Emily McGra. Say, ooh-a, Emily McGra. Emily, say, put Emily in it. Obviously.

It makes way more sense than what I did. We're obviously going to put Emily in the McGra. Charles has put his Emily in the McGrath. That's for sure. Okay, sorry. Well, I do have a hot take. This is coming back for the year. Are we happy about that?

I just realized that we didn't really talk about it. We didn't talk about it. It was just an assumption. Thank you, Charles. I think I'm going to make a better outfit, though. Every Monday, Tony's been dropping hot takes. I like it. I like it too.

I learn something every weekend. I get inspired and I think, what am I going to be fucked off about this week? Because I'm most of the time you say it, I'm on board. Yeah, you are. You've been a real supporter of hot take, Tony. I'm an ally of hot take to me. No, you absolutely have been.

And I think that you're going to like this. My hot take is that you should check in and check out at the same time from a hotel or accommodation. You've been scorched. I stayed somewhere on the holidays where you could check in at 4pm, but you had to check out at 10 a.m. That's a whole day you're losing.

That is fucked. That is fucked. And it's very strange that I, we just pumped you up and I said I agree with everything. The check in and check out can't be the same time because they have to clean it. No, okay, see, I've thought about this. I've thought about this. Strap in everyone.

Stagger it. So there's people whose flights are going to land at 7 a.m. And there's people that are going to fly out at 5 so they leave the hotel at 3 or fucking whatever anyway. Start cleaning those ones. Also, you've got like a whole floor and that whole floor is for a check-in at 7 a.m. then the next floor is for a whole check-in at 9 a.m. Then, you know? And you reckon that'll play out?

I think that then, because not everybody checks in and out every day. True. Like, so it's not like you're turning over an entire hotel every time. So I reckon that if you staggered them, I think that when you walk into a hotel, you should be able to check in. Yep. Because not everyone's getting there at the same time. It would actually be easier to service,

because if everybody's checking in at three or four o'clock, they're all getting there at the same time. Whereas if you staggered them, we're talking, you know, happier hotel staff, more time to claim. I'm in the union and I'm actually really passionate about this. When I heard that you had a 4pm check-in and a 10 am. checkout, I was like, these guys are taking the fucking piss.

Because like, that's a whole fuck. It's a whole day. Six out. Well, for me that says we need six hours to. clean. For me, that says fuck you. Yeah. That's actually just a huge hand dance to me.

No, no wonder. It's catching on. No, no, cleaning's getting done. Everyone's hand dancing around here. Well, sorry, that's really diggerie. I just think, I think that if you staggered the checking times or you had like rounds of checking in. I reckon that would be grouse.

Whoa. Is that, was that planned? No. How do you feel about it? I'm saying grouse now. I said grouse once two years ago at home and Bridget was like, no. She keeps honest.

Yeah, she does. And I actually went. So fair. Fair. No, but aren't you glad that you tried it on at home? Because it would have been worse here. I think that sometimes. times I go fuck I'm glad that I didn't say that at work but then you just now but I backed it in

I think it's because I said it around our daughter Mabel and she was like we're not introducing Maxwell we don't want her to be saying we don't want to grow up as some grouse kid yeah but no that's so fair yeah no no kids are around right now oh sorry Charles do you feel like you're in a safe space where you could yeah yeah do what do you reckon about the hotel check in I Well, something's got to change. 10 to 4 is fuck. If it's not that I'm happy to hear a counteroffer, but there has to be something they can fucking do.

I think four hours is the absolute maximum between thingsies. I just think that if I'm staying one night, it can't equal only 18 hours. Is that what it would be? The thing about a summary place is that it's like, I want to be by the pool in the sun. At 4pm, it's like, the day's winding down.

And then you wake up the next morning and it's like fucking get your shit together and fuck off. So when do I lay by the pool? Exactly right. And this is the whole thing is that I don't think it really gives enough time for what a hotel is for which is masturbating and eating a $40 club sandwich from room service.

And you can't do that. In only 20 hours, 18 hours. I reckon if you had a full 24 hours you could get three of them in. I don't know if I could, oh. You don't know if I can. That's good stuff. Yeah, quick hand dance on the way out.

Love you, thank you. I'll come up with a better costume for this year, I think. Is hand dance also for oneself? Yeah, give yourself a quick hand dance. Yeah. Would you? That's like when Tony and I travel, we get to the hotel. We go to our separate rooms.

Yeah. We got a room service and we have a hand dance. Then we go, cool. I'll see you at dinner. For a hand dance. My love to see it today is a good news story. Oh, amazing. And I think, now, I don't like to get political.

I don't like to get political. It's not the show. Brain break. We don't do that. There's a brain break. I don't like to get political. This is a safe space for everybody to not think about their day. But I need to talk about a local council.

And I want to make it more about the positive that they're doing. and not pointing the finger at every other council it's not doing this because that's where I'm leaning towards. If this is a story about a council with huge bins, I'm all for it. Oh, dude. Oh, I'm in.

Be ready to have your mind fucking. As soon as I saw this story, I was like, Tony Love that. He's going to shit. And today she actually might. And I actually have had a bit of diarrhea. Shout out to the Liverpool City Council. Liverpool.

Let me read this note that was sent out to residents. mid-December. Oh, a busy time to be sending out a paper note. It better be good. Why is it a busy time? Busy time, isn't it?

There's a lot of correspondence in December. Instead of... And your bins are full, aren't they? The whole season, the whole Christmas season. Fuck off. Double bin day!

Instead of alternating between recycling and general rubbish, with residents having parties, over Christmas and New Year's period, we'll be emptying every bin, every week, over the festive season, if you require. I've just got to go have a quick hand dance.

I've got to fucking come over that news. You need to go hand dance the mayor of the Liverpool City Council. That is so... And that is a PM that's thinking with their heart, not their head. That might cost them a bit more money, but wow, aren't the residents happy about that? And the residents are happy. Crimes down in Liverpool.

You feel so seen with something like that. Because I had a family early Christmas thing in November. Yeah. Oh, you're still throwing wrapping paper out in fucking January. No, because the bin was full, so that stuff will wait until the next one. That gets empty, so then that fit. The backlog from November is still happening at my house. And all of a sudden, you're like a warehouse manager for the fucking bins.

Yeah. You got Knapbridge. If you can leave, I know that you're always. So it's off, but you've got to leave it in the fridge because if I take it out, it's going to stink in the thing. And it's not going to fit today. It's not going to fit today. So keep the off yogurt in the back of the fridge. What do you think this is bridge?

Do you think we live in Liverpool City? What do you think we live in the best place on earth? Liverpool? Well, it's the one in Sydney, but. Oh my God. Okay. I thought it was England. It was in Australia.

Yeah. We're moving to Sydney. I think we should. What's the Liverpool area like in Sydney? Yeah. Google it. Not, not, it's not amazing. So it's not where Tony would live if we lived in Sydney.

I want to live in Tamarama. Shout out. The council rates will be slightly higher in that place than live a pool. Well, they better take my bins out twice a day then. That's what I'd like to see if I'm paying that much. But seriously, the backlog of, because we had New Year's at our house, we're still fucking, oh. And what did you do for, like, your friend crew?

Yeah. Like party or like kids, staff or both? Yeah, we did both. Yeah, we, um, push it out. We, uh, I think at one stage we had seven children under the age of six in the pool. What a dream. That is so far. And that was that was dad's like, dad, you're taking the kids into the pool.

So it was about six dads. Yeah. All those kids. And then the girls had some like drinks and food and stuff. And then we kind of, but it was, it was. Swapped. It was, yeah, it was chaos. Okay, I'll hold the kid for a second so you can eat.

Yeah. Ladies, you've worked hard for 300. 64 and a half days this year. Let us take an hour of your hands. Yeah. In the pool. The funnest place on earth. Yeah.

It's basically Liverpool. Yeah. Okay. I should live in Liverpool because I'm wet for life. I think the name is throwing you off. Does I have a pool? Probably pools, but like if you have a look here, so here's Liverpool. Oh.

And there's the beach. Oh, no. No, no. So like, how do you realize it was that far out? Yeah. It's past banks. town. You might as well live in Gledswood Hills.

So I've just seen a map for the first time I like. That's amazing. That is good news, Jeans. I've got to you love to see it. And you know how we like a bit of a you love to see it that like it's like an update? Oh. I've got to you love to see it. That's an update.

You might remember last year, Megan O'Kelly, so 12 months ago sent this through. Hello to Top Tower. I wanted to share a year long and you love to see it. Thanks for clarifying because last year could have been last episode. And I wanted to be very clear I wasn't being a dick. Here's an update from last episode. And then I was like, I'll have the 12 months ago in just so you know. I've decided to use my TARP calendar.

So the 2025 calendar that we made for our champion TARP is in Patreon. I've decided to use my TARP calendar as a daily you love to see a calendar where I can write down one good thing from the day and then like reflect at the end of the year. I love that. You were an absolute about it when she said it. You said she'll do that for three days. She won't do the whole year.

There's no way she'll get all the way through. I've got an update. Who said that? Who? What? I've got an update. That doesn't sound like me. Megan O'Kelly.

Spite works. Well, 365 days of you love to see it's later. I'm undefeated. Ryan doubted me. Tony believed in me. History remembers. That's where Megan. History remembers.

Yeah. Successfully, the whole year wrote down something good from each day in her Tony and Ryan calendar. And he's planning to do the same thing with her calendar for 2026 as well. Unfortunately, in the human mind, nothing... Welcome to the human lab. That's funny. Nothing is as powerful as trying to prove someone wrong or someone doubting you. so to Megan

Megan You're welcome You're welcome I knew you could do it And I just thought giving you someone to prove wrong would be the encouragement and motivation you needed

to get it done so I'm very proud of you and I knew you could do it and congratulations You done Ryan done Are you all right? Because you're just on your soapbox over there.

And I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. First of all, great use of that term because I am being a . Yeah. Second of all, what actually is a soap box? I don't know. It's slippery, huh? Because if it's just a box made of soap, I don't want to be on that. That's slippery.

That's terrifying. That's going to suds up. Like, nobody's business. I saw a really good TikTok the other day. Yeah. And it was like, it's like, here's an impression of me if I was in jail with this hot guy. And then she's like, oh no. Oops.

In our shower at home, we use body wash. But sometimes I go like, oh no, the body wash's on the ground. Like, Tom's my own in the shower together. And then what happens? Just pick it back up. Yeah. Sorry. Well, an actual soap box is actually, it's referred to that because it used to be used by street speakers for public speeches.

And it's just a box that says soap on it. But why? Why soap? Because we get the con, what you've done there is, is that you've shared the concept of, but why was it a soap box? How much soap were they using back then?

I've never seen a soapbox now as a fresh young individual. When I watch downtown abbey, you don't see a lot of soap. In fact, didn't they say that it was the opposite, that they weren't that. They weren't that cleanly back then. Yeah. So what?

That's why they've carried flowers at their weddings. You know how a bride has like a bouquet? To master's life. Yeah, it was because that the flowers were supposed to like, yeah, trick you out of smelling the pong. Maybe I should carry some flowers around. On your asshole. Oh, is that rosemary? Not a flower.

It's just an herb. It smells, though. Yes, not a flower. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's all right. Soap yet?

Yeah, they just say it's because it was transported in strong wooden boxes. Okay. Yeah. It's Google's like that for what it's worth. That's fine. That's fine. We'll be back tomorrow. And guess what we're doing tomorrow at ins and outs for 2026?

The exhaustive list of ins and outs. Is that right? How many have you written? I've got two of each. Yeah, same. Like the same as every year. Yeah, when you said exhausting, I was like, have I underprepared? No, but I only need four.

Yeah, same. That'll come to me for it. Also, over the break, and this is a safe place, and thank you very much to this type of a sharing. They've sent it through anonymously, but they proposed over the break. Amazing! Oh, I mean, yeah.

But the fact they've sent it through into confessions anonymously. Okay. And I think the vibe is, bless them. Like, oh, bless your cotton's like. You meant well. Okay. You meant well. Okay.

All right. I don't know if some people will be like that. that's fucked. I actually think you'll be like, I probably will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I'll get down off my soapbox. Yeah. You need a hand.

And get off me rosemary. Yeah. Go give ourselves a little hand dance. We'll be back tomorrow. Guys, have a hand dance today. Um, treat yourselves. Um, thanks for coming back to hang out with us for 2026. Yep. See tomorrow. See tomorrow. Love you. For a hand dance. Bye.

Oh. Sorry. I was thinking about the double bins. Ha ha ha ha.