Toni and Ryan - Toni Reveals Her Safeword

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] we've reallllly lost it lol sorry xoxooxxoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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A Tapa is a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now Brad is a hot California girl. Now Brad, I believe you've got a joke for us. Yes, I do. So what's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with a boob job? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crust station. Well, I know it's really bad. The word crust station just gets me every time. That was the good bit.

Like obviously an amazing clown words Brad and golf club to you, but just the word crustacean, I mean, if you can get that into your vocab once a day, job done. Yeah. And if everyone wants to just finish the Tony and Rod Rod, that's my dad. I'll finish your Rod. If it, not your dad. If anyone wants to finish the Tony and Ryan podcast right there, especially now, I think we've peaked.

I think your dad would keep listening. Sorry. Brad, would you like to approve today's episode? Fuck yeah, I would. Awesome. Jesus Christ. Sorry, I'm not gonna fuck your dad. Here's the show.

It's Brad from California and I approve this podcast. Welcome to Charles's hotel room in New York City. Welcome. It feels right. It's much nicer than mine. Yeah. Yeah. Tony's room doesn't have the smell of girls Charles met on Hinge this week.

Yeah. My room doesn't smell like Britney Spears fantasy purview. We are, our body clocks are all over the place. So today's a bit silly. We apologize. But before we crack right in, just a few little side notes. Charles has put the Tony and Ryan sign up on the screen and no camera is facing it. That is a lie. This camera is now facing, so you can it. There's no way that cameras getting

some of that. What I would like to say though is that I'm enjoying looking at it. Yeah we're getting a great view. I'm enjoying looking at it. Is it different for you Ryan because you don't normally get to see it. My view is you in front of it always. Welcome to showbiz this is what it looks on the other side. Yeah I don't get to see it, it's a change up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Look, oh it's Tony Lodge.

Hi. Hey, there's Charles and the screen behind the cameras. Now I also want to point out that we're going to go get some food after this and I said Tony do you want some food and Tony said, Tony goes, yeah, I could go at Deez feed. Yolo swag. Skibbidy toilet. I obviously meant Deezent feed and I don't even- Oh, I thought it was like an off brand of like Deez nuts.

Oh, no, like a Deez feed. I don't even... Oh, I thought it was like an off brand of like Deez Nuts. Oh, no, like a Deez feed. I don't even ever say feed. Like I would never go like, oh, you came for a feed. Like that's not something I would ever say. Is this what New York Tony would say? I'm off for a Deez feed. I hope not. I hope not.

We'll get you an espresso martoni, which is something you also ordered before. I did also say that. Can I say something though? Normally we don't have to hold our own microphones. It's hurting my arm a bit. I've just had to swap arms. Well because you can't hold it with the other arm because that's holding up your wedding ring. Yeah, yeah true. He's got too many weights on each side. Too much going on. Today we are talking about situations where you and your partner needed a safe word. Now I am new to these needing a safe word because usually I think the opposite is going and I think you understand when I get to this.

Or does that sound like I'm being pegged? Yeah, and that's actually so fine. I think that you would really learn a lot from getting pegged, but that's not what this is about. What the fuck does that mean? I just think that you would like it. I thought you said, didn't you just say you got a lot to learn? I said I think you could learn a lot from getting pegged.

What would I learn? No, I just think it would be awesome. But what's the learning bit? The learning that it's awesome. Okay, right. So it's not like when I'm getting railed then I go, oh, so when you rail them from that to rail, okay. No, no, no, no. Because that's what learning means.

That is not the only thing that you can learn. Disagree. Hard disagree. It's the only thing that you could learn. No, I just mean like, oh, like, you know, change your input, change your output. I think you could learn a thing or two from... Pegging you? Yeah.

Oh. Pegging Torbz? We can't talk about pegging in Charles' room. Oh, now it's off limits. Now it's off limits. I'm on Charles' bed, so I'm not allowed to talk about pegging. The situation, I knew as soon as we said the word safe word everyone would assume we meant weird.

Yeah no that's, yeah. This is the main time you need a safe word, for example, is I've told a sweet little lie to someone and then Tony comes in and starts talking to them and she's going to mention something that's going to undo the lie. That's going to contradict the lie. It's going to make the lie become obvious that it's a lie. Yeah. I gave this bullshit excuse.

Yeah. Tony comes in and gives some other bullshit excuse. Turns out. Or tells the truth. Or like, why are we late? Oh, we did this. Oh, we did that. Oh, but he said.

Well, I are we late? Oh, we did this, oh, we did that. Oh, but he said... Well, I'm never late. This is why you need a safe word before people blub it out, you say the word. But I didn't know we could use safe words for this. Usually it's just the... Yeah, I guess also... See where that comes from now? No, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've also... You know what I mean? I think the thing about the... sorry I'm stuck on the D speed. I think the thing about this

though is that like the communication needed when there's a little white line someone could undo it I think is a little bit different as well. Because that like a safe word wouldn't fix that. That's just you having to be like, oh, and Tony, I was just telling Charles we were running late because our car broke down. That's how that's getting in first, I reckon. So I think that's even a little bit different to a safe word. Because I don't know how it's lucky.

And so one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is where they have to like break into this person's house and change the, like he left a voicemail and was like really rude or fucking something. So he's like, all right, I'll go in and like distract the girl and you come in and change the tape. Sure. Oh, but what if she comes back into the room? He goes, Oh, I'll yell out the password. And it was like tippy toe or something. And then so George

is like, try to drag this girl down to the bedroom while Jerry's like switching the tape. He's like tippy toe tippy toe and it's just so obviously a code word. Yes. So I don't understand the safe word how it comes into play because how the fuck could you say it? What's an example of one? Okay, so say I'm like, oh my God, look at her engagement ring or look at her wedding ring or something. And then maybe I go like, oh, isn't it such a beautiful sunny day? Like, and it's like something super specific or like,

oh God, Pippa needs a wash. And you go, Oh, hang on. I think it's like a good cue. And that means like, check out the fucking ring on this. Check out the rock on her finger or whatever. Yeah. All like all those times you've been saying Pippa needs a wash. Because that's it.

That's a really specific one for me and Torbz because often because I I think he and I are quite good at like speaking with our eyes because we spend so much time together. And what's a good blackout? Yeah, like I think that he and I are quite good with that. But then sometimes if it's something very specific and I kind of go like, he will be like, oh, what? And so that's a good run for me because I'm like, oh, that ring is beautiful. Or did you see that?

Like what she was, you know, or whatever. Like if you ever hear Tony talking about washing that dog, yeah, something's going on and checking you out. Or do you think a safe word like remember we have this one for the top of on it was like purple monkey dishwasher yes because it was like if you're getting grown and I just like need you to stop and just like honor me needing you to stop we just knew that but I don't think we could have said purple monkey dishwasher subtly no but it's not really about it being subtle

in that situation it was more that we just needed a safe word. But I think that if it's something you can drop into casual conversation so that you can be like, look at that thing or can we please go home? Or a really good one is like maybe a safe word for like couples when you bump into someone from the office and you like can't remember their name yeah and you say like oh oh sorry did you just see that orange car go by and then maybe and then maybe your partner knows to be like oh sorry um my name's Julia what was your name again you know the orange car I'm trying to think and that's where I'm like I don't with Charles. The orange car. I'm trying to think of like a specific thing.

I know. And that's where I'm like, this is where it falls down because you're like- But it doesn't- You're on the rooftop bar. Yeah, okay. Oh, the orange car. Oh, hi, I'm Samantha. So Torbz and I, right, there's this episode of Supernatural.

And their code word, like the brothers, their code word for like being in trouble is crazy town. And there's one episode where they're like one of them is being held hostage and he's like he's like, Oh, I'm in Louisiana. It's a crazy town. Cool man. See you later. Cause like he knows that they're listening in and then he hangs up the phone.

He's like, Dean's in trouble. He used our code word. It's crazy town. And then I think we should start using that no well Torb's and I started using that because I said maybe we need that what if I'm ever held hostage oh no but I was like what if I'm ever in a precarious situation and I need to like subtly give you a code word and because so have you stuck by that yeah if you just called him and because... So have you stuck by that? Yeah.

Like have you just called him and said, hey mate, having a good time, New York's great, crazy town. Oh, it's crazy town here. He'd be like on it. Yeah. I actually, during the tarpathon, unintentionally said crazy town, like in, and I just wasn't thinking and he texts me and said, is everything okay? I have the message, yeah.

Charles, while I go to this next bit, can you look in the AI and see if I've said crazy town on a podcast? I've never said it on a podcast, only on a tapathon. Oh, and you would know? And I would know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like- Because I know that I would only say it

if there was something going on. But sometimes I've said crazy town because you know how I say come town and things like that. Like it's kind of like part of the thing. Yeah. But if, yeah, but I said it on a tapathon and Torb's literally messaged me and was like, is everything okay, my love? You just said the, our, our word. This is huge. Yeah. How many other code words do you have?

No, that's the only one. And it literally- Crazy town and Pippa needs a bath. Pippa probably does need a bath though, so it's like- Every time you're like, I think Pippa needs a bath and Torb's like, where are we? And like, yeah, like, can you smell our dog? It's Brad from California and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Okay, so it's not really a very good system. Champion Jarvis hold the fort because Charles played the grab and when's it from? This is from the 2nd of November 2023.

And you knew you were going to talk about this? Yes. And I was like, crazy town. We're in crazy town. That was you. We're in world class right now. We're in crazy town. Oh.

OK. You are being held hostage. Thanks for coming and saving me. Oh, no. Any other crazy towns? It takes a sec. That's really, I'm really relieved to know that wasn't me. Yeah, same.

You said it like eight times in a row. You were really in trouble. Is everything okay? Do you think that you and I, Ryan, we should come up with a code word for like, get me out of this situation? Yeah, we should call it, and here's a shout out to our champion tapers. Do you hate doing this podcast? No, I love it.

It's you doing- No, press play the tape, Charles. Roll over and get out the other side. Yeah, that's crazy town. Oh. I didn't even know I said crazy town this much. When was that one? That one was like 20 days later on the 28th.

28th of November 2024. Tony's birthday. That is C-town. Not the full one. A few shout outs to champion tapas over at our Patreon. It's a fucking Friday. They're scrolling across the bottom. I'm shouting them out now.

It's a fucking great day to be a Tapa. Did you say here's some champion Tapa shout outs? Oh, no, the car! What? Ryan still has the gymney, wink! Yeah but I have an email from the people at Suzuki. Okay hang on, hold the phone. Which I still haven't read properly since yesterday. Anatolia Evako Kaku, thank you very much Anatolia.atoly, that's a very beautiful name. Amy St. John, Dasha, LaGria, Chelsea, Vala, Vienneme Sauvage and Courtney. Thank you very much for being part of a Patreon. Absolutely love to see it. Um, and time zone chat.

Today was a champion top, uh, thing, but that might not have happened yet. Cause I don't think it has happened yet not no cuz that'll be Saturday in Australia it's Friday yeah just to take us back to crazy town one more time okay one more one and I think this is a interesting one never watch a new film during the week. That is crazy town to me. That was recent. That was in danger because I would never watch a new film during the week.

Never watch a movie. During the week. Sorry about me. Just a quick update. What did Mr. Jimny have to say? I've got an email here from Tom at Suzuki. Doxty. Yeah, Tom Lydon. Ryan. Hey, Ryan, just reaching out to see if it's OK for you to return the Jimny in the next few weeks. I recall it was due back in February.

Oh, no, I don't like the tone from Tom Linden there. How have you found the car? I hope it's been fun driving around. It has been. Oh recall it was due back in February. Oh don't remember you emailing me and asking for the keys mate. Oh good. That's not on you at all. No I, and because you've had it for so long we're gonna need some car payments on a side note What? The dry, you know the Kober drive-in The driving cinema cinema. Yeah They're having an on Saturday the 31st of May

It's free. It's a Suzuki like all the Jimny's are pulling into watch a movie together It's free. It's a Suzuki like all the Jimny's are pulling in to watch a movie together You have to go to get tickets They're free but like you have to register and get tickets you have to go to that as the one last hurrah for your Jimny He's Ryan Jimny John Not for much longer He's still for another few weeks Ryan Jimny John. That'll be crazy town at the drive-in.

You're not allowed to make fun of the word. It's not my word. No, but you're not allowed to make fun of it. Okay, okay, okay. I gave you my safe space. Okay, well if we're being serious and we're not making fun of stuff. Oh. Sorry?

Yep. So I want to send a shout out to Amara, who I did my assignment with. Hi Amara. And a few other lovely people last week. So I had class last weekend, then skipped out to the airport. And so there was a bit of chat of like, was I going to go straight from class to the airport? Like it was a bit tight. And like was I gonna go straight from class to the airport like it was a bit tiring because I was doing this group assignment I was chatting lots with them. Yeah. He said there's this app called Sleeper because he travels a lot for work. Sure. Does that sound familiar? It's something like... Like a time zones flipping one. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like oh

I'll download this for you it'll be great and this is on Saturdays like the day before we're leaving. Download it for you. It's an app and or whatever. Or he goes, oh, what time are you leaving? Where are you going? Oh, like I'll do it. Right. I thought you meant that he took your phone and was like, oh, get it for you. I'm like, oh, I can do it. Thanks, bro. And then he said, oh, because like if you want to take it real serious,

three days out, it starts. You should start adjusting. And the app apparently tells you like, have coffee at this time or not before here. And then one of them was to start getting the circadian rhythm going. Is wearing sunglasses like during the day to kind of like. Yeah, right.

And so the purest of intentions. He goes, oh, well I've just typed it. Oh, oh shit. You should be wearing sunglasses right now. You take these. And I'm sitting inside a lecture theater at Melbourne University. And he,

And so you're in this situation where you don't want to be like, well, obviously not. I'm inside in a lecture about to do a presentation. But also. I'm here to talk about Disney's acquisition of 20th Century Fox's assets. I'm here to talk about being Johnny Bravo and wearing my fucking sunglasses inside. For today's presentation in negotiations and conflict resolution, I'm going to discuss being a baller.

I'm going to, that is, oh. Isn't that upsetting? So what did you choose? So you rang TORPS and went- You said crazy town. You're like, Melbourne's a crazy town. Melbourne University Lecture Hall 2, Melbourne Business School, pretty of a crazy town, isn't it? Pretty of a crazy town. Melbourne University lecture hall two, Melbourne Business School, pretty of a crazy town, isn't it? Pretty of a crazy town.

So, Amara reaches out with the glass and he's sitting, in between us is Natasha. Yeah. And Natasha has seen this old play out and she's gone, well surely not. We're inside. Like there's no way. And so he reaches out with the glasses and they're just like in front of Tash like waiting for me to reach

I take them. Yeah What did you do so I looked at her well to the man I was like And like to like all jokes aside like what a fucking nice guy But you know when I look at Tash and she just goes Like she starts shaking her head but like didn't want Amara to see- Will feel like you were making fun of him because you weren't, you were just like well obviously I'm not going to do that. And then I go oh thanks man I'll guess I'll just rough it though, we'll see how we go.

Yeah, great answer. Yeah. And then she leans over and she goes, oh jeez that was close. And I said... Yeah, close to me being cool. Where are my sunglasses inside? I go, would you have judged me if I wore those? And she goes, yeah.

I mean, yeah, she's saying what we're all thinking. We all would have. Yeah. Yeah. But I like I get the intent from him. And I also get like the trying to fix yourself up before you go somewhere. And I guess that if you were taking it really seriously, as you said, you would wear the sunglasses inside because you'd be like, this is gonna help me in two days. Like, I'll, you know, I'm doing it.

I'm paying it forward for myself. Do you have any sunglasses here, Giles? Sorry, I should have asked earlier. So the reason for Disney's acquisition of 20th century's Fox assets was a strategic play to boost the deep back catalog of content for Disney Plus because they wanted a deep back catalog. And Rupert Murdoch didn't want to take on Amazon. Do you think that this conversation that you've had with your crew at uni or whatever is almost the ultimate like feelings not solutions based? Like in that situation you just wanted to kind of be like, oh... I don't want a solution to jet lag.

I'm just gonna be fucked for a few days. Yeah, like I'm just trying to tell you that like I actually just like, oh god, how rough is it gonna be because like travel on for work, you hit the ground running as soon as you land or whatever, and you just kind of want to not even really complain because I doubt that you were complaining, but you're just like, oh, that's gonna be a bit rough. And then when someone goes here's this app here's these sunglasses and you kind of go oh I just wanted to kind of have a like complain. I feel like I'm in a different room to you right now because I'm wearing sunglasses right now. It honestly is it's making me feel not very well.

Remember when we boarded the flight though and the lady in front of us then turns around, we were just talking about like, yeah, we're gonna be fucked for a few days. And the lady like turns around, she's like, oh, use chat GPT. She goes, oh, I typed into chat GPT, like what times I was landing and where I was going and chat GPT told me when I should sleep during the flight.

Cause Charles and I were like, if we stay awake for the first couple of hours, then go to sleep, you know, blah, blah, blah. And we would, it wasn't really founded information. We were just like coming up with a bit of a strategy. She's like, Oh, you got to get chat GPT. And I've heard of the apps, like what you're saying. But I think, yeah, like in the uni theatre, it's like, that's the ultimate definition

of feelings, not solutions. Is that the same lady that yelled at the flight attendant? No. Or was that the other flight? It was a different flight, yeah. Oh! Do you want flight-based coincidence chat? Sounds like it's happening now.

Okay, so the lady that yelled, who's sitting behind you on the way to New York. Yeah. You know how there was an older couple sitting next to them? Oh, no, I didn't see her. Yeah, it's an older couple. She was in front Oh, no, I didn't, I didn't see her. Yeah, so older couple. She was in front of me when I got on the plane. Yeah. Her last name is Dunn.

Her husband's last name is Dunn. So two people head of me, doot, Mr. Dunn, just this way. Doot, Mrs. Dunn, just this way. And they were both row 17. And then doot, oh, Mr. Dunn, row 17. And the guy goes, like have we got the whole family together? Oh.

And then I don't know if you saw us chatting when we came in. No, I didn't. Yeah. And she was like, oh, we must know each other. And I was like, oh, you know, maybe. And then she heard my voice and was like, oh, probably not though. Imagine the way in that situation you go, well, I actually was adopted. Yeah. So you know what, like you go, so maybe I could have family all over the world.

Like, I think she, um, she kind of went, oh, like, yeah, no, not in our family, but, um, my daughters though, and it was starting to like, trying to piece it together. No, but I think she was like, Australian guy. Yeah. No, like was trying to size me up for the one of the daughters. Oh, right. Like, but I think she was like, Australian guy. Yeah, no, like was trying to size me up for the one of the daughters. Oh, right. Like, oh, we're not related. Thank God. Cause you'd be the perfect candidate for marriage. Right. And heaven forbid my daughter marry another cousin. Yeah. No, well, I guess that she was like, I don't really

want the paperwork of like changing my last name. Yeah. And she'd been through it. So if I married. And she goes, I married into it. She said that. No, no, no, but she's like, you know, if I marry another done, then I'm sorted. Yeah, you're all good. The paperwork is done. It only works with that one name. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but what if you married Gary complete?

What if you married me and then you didn't have to lodge anything? Better than Gary Complete, I feel. The paperwork is... lodged. Yeah. Do you get it? The paperwork is, oh you haven't met my other cousin. I don't know if I have it in me, I'll be honest. You haven't met Carole Filder?

I'm so sorry. Do you know what makes this so much worse? The sunglasses. The sunglasses. They just make it so much worse. Have you met um... No, I haven't met him and I don't want to. Oh, you're back. Thank God. Fuck, it's bright in here with those lights.

How's your jet lag? Better? Since we're doing this on Glasses They Are. No, because I just had a nap during the recording of a podcast. Hey, I got it. You love to see it. Now, Tony, it's a video one. This is from a nature park. Uh-huh.

It's TikTok because they're trying to get people interested in nature in the wilderness. And they're trying to give their TikToks a bit of flavor. Uh-huh. Do you know what rhymes with Monday? Do you know what rhymes? Oh, I'm really sorry for the last couple of days of shows. But I've been sent that a lot. And I liked it. That's good. I mean the actual park looks beautiful.

Like the video is stunning. Like if you didn't watch that with the sound on like you'd be like, oh beautiful and you'd probably hit like. Like you probably just wouldn't even think about it. Good. Thank you. That's good. I've got a love to see here from Ashley Galloway. It's not Scott Galloway. It's not related. It's no more name coincidences. Do you know that? I don't. OK, but I'm you know, Ash says on May 17, so tomorrow I get to marry the love of my life. And then on May 23rd, we take possession of our very first house.

Nice. Ash says we are very proud of how we've come, both on our own and as a couple. And just wanted to share their like domestic bliss. Isn't that so sweet? So you get married and then you've got like, and then you know you're like moving into a new house. Set, done, forever home. The admin.

What? The admin. You imagine, you've been planning. That's a lot of. Planning a wedding and you've been, what? Well, I'd hate to drag my cousin Gary complete into this. Yep.

But there's been a lot of paperwork that has needed to have been lodged. Done. To get to this stage. Yeah. Well, I guess Ashley said, when there's a will, there's a Galloway. Do they have to change their wills? Whose will? Oh, is that Gary's cousin? Will complete.

Oh, I'm back on board. I like it now. I like the joke now. Who completed your will? Ryan Dunn. Will complete. Oh, so sorry. How do you get it? Ask me again. Acting. Who? Will?

Oh, nah, I, nah, genuine question. If you... Who completed your will? That'd be Will Complete. Will ya? Who? I'm sorry, everyone. No, say sorry to me.

You are counters, everyone. Oh, no, say sorry to me. You you count as everyone. Oh, everyone. It's not everyone minus Tony. No, but I would like everyone plus Tony. Everyone including Tony. Everyone and especially Tony. That's what I would like. From hence hereforth ongoing, I would like that included.

I'll allow it. I'll allow it. Sunglasses are on. We've got the emotional sunglasses. It's to be like the talking stick where we have to do something emotional, we wear the sunglasses. Your eyes are wetter than me pussy. Do you...

Go. No, you have to say that. No, I can't. I'm all the shit I've done. You have to say that. No, I actually can't. You do the apology and then we can go. You say it and then I'll go get your look.

I was about to say, did you know how much I love you? Aww. Just the gasp at the beginning. I would like to apologize to the tarpers and specifically extra to Tony Lodge. I appreciate that. For me. Mate, don't worry about it.

I shouldn't have even mentioned it. Oh, mate, don't worry. Love you so much. Sorry, this is so fucking crazy. We'll get some sleep on the weekend and next week we'll be better. Yeah, we'll start wearing our sunglasses inside. Try and fix ourselves up.

We're off to get a deuce feed. Love ya. Have a deuce food. See you on Monday for hot dogs. Love you, bye. hot dogs love you bye