Toni and Ryan - Toni Reviews Heated Rivalry

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

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We go down to the spotlight and this lady on the other side goes to her daughter like, oh God, like all those stripes are nice. Look at what they've got. Whatever, mum. Our eyes kind of lock. Yeah. And I kind of go like, oh, only a loser would buy one of those and kind of like gesture to like, yep, there's my boyfriend holding one.

We're buying one. The daughter, um, delicious. Hi. Lindsay from Prince Edward Island, Canada. Hey, I'm Eliza from Eltham in Australia. Hi, I'm Lauren from Stahl, Victoria. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. Welcome back to O.G. Tarpers, if you knew, welcome. Let's Be Friends. Here is where you can be yourself. Safe space. Safe space.

Laugh at silly shit. And be the person you want to be and not like have to be all professional because you're at work and your boss says you have to wear a collar. Masks down. Mask down. Yeah. Mask down. Yeah.

Also, we say pretty silly things because it's fun. It is fun. It's just a bit of fun. Just a bit of fun. It's just a little bit of fun. Brain break. You've had a long day. Fuck the day off.

My brain break over the break was watching all her fault. Not really a brain break, but just incredible. Oh, well, there's a break from everything else in the world because when you're watching that show, you have to be like locked in. It is such a. a fucking good show. Best show I've watched in years. Sarah Snook is fucking good.

I'm fucking real. She's so good. You know the really annoying other mum at the school? Like the one that was like, oh, are you going to volunteer for the thing? Yeah. She was like in All Saints or Always Green. Like she's an Aussie actress.

How funny. Yeah. And she's like the most like in the, because that's the character. It's so annoying. Yeah. But because it was filmed in Australia. There's loads of Aussie people in it.

All the extras and the small bits are all Australian and the police station where a lot of the shows filmed is a talkback radio station here in Melbourne so it was really hard you're like watching it but you're noticing stuff at the same and then you're like oh my god it doesn't matter they're not in chicago or is that probably in north car i know we're supposed to be thinking about chicago yeah but is that north where you chicago not oh my that's offensive when i go back to chicago i feel it that is my favorite song i reckon ever written i think it's my not be my number one for three years.

It's such a fucking I fucking love that song. And you know what? If they were from any other place it wouldn't work. Last night I was trying to sing it to other cities, exciting life.

Is he from Chicago? Isn't it just that he met his love there? I don't think he's from. When I get back to a reservoir. Yeah, he's from Massachusetts. And when I'm back in North can I feel it? Just not quite the same.

And when I'm back I feel it. Not really the same, mate. Nah, fair. But yeah, you're watching it and you're trying not to notice stuff, but you're like, there was one house that I was like, Ryan has sent me that house on domain before. Like that it's been, you know, the featured house of the week

and you've gone like, oh, imagine, you know, it's his fucking, like, $20 million fucking house. The one where, who's the child actress? Dakota Fanning. The house where Dakota Fanning is acting in is, is like I've looked it up and found where it is and stuff. That is so funny. Because I was like,

that's good, but that looks like a Q house. I did love the little bits of like, there's a part where she's like walking past the bean on the phone. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I love that they've gone and done that three months later.

Yeah. And they've done the bit walking part. Because it was all filmed in a, in case you didn't know, it's all filmed in Melbourne. Yeah. But they've obviously had to go and get some bits. Yeah.

Yeah. And I like that when they went to the bean, unlike when we went there, it wasn't closed for construction. Yeah, we couldn't flick the bean when we were there. That was a shame. I mean, I did anyway, but you weren't supposed to. But as you know now, Tony. Sorry, I'm just thinking about how funny it was.

We get there. The bean is literally brought it up like full construction. And their solution to that, you know what we're talking about, A, Charles, like the big silver reflective bean in Chicago. Yeah. Their solution to the bean being closed to tourists was picked. of the bean printed out

on their Kodak easy share just on paper taped to the outside of the construction fences it's like you're there we traveled all the way here to get a photo oh we'll just take a photo

in front of that fucking printout it was like they'd printed it in the office 10 minutes beforehand it was I've got a cracking idea that'll solve the I've traveled all the way to Chicago to see the bean to get a photo issue What if people are disappointed that they can't see the bean?

Now they can. Old news. I might as well have just Googled it in reservoir. Did you get a photo with the photo? We do actually. There's a tourist Tony. Yeah. I think we made a video there.

Yeah. And it was funny because we got, I think we got someone to hold the camera and they're like in front of. Yeah. They're like, you know, it's not. That's just a photo of a bean. Yeah. Acting. Yeah.

The photos were acting like the bean. Bean. But all her fault. Amazing shows. And I mean this is the highest compliment. And I think it might be one of the better compliments I could give about a TV show. I watch a lot of TV. I really like it.

Yep. That's the first show in a long time that was worth staying up late for. You're like, fuck, should we get, we'll do another. We had to finish it. Yeah. I think we went to bed at one or two o'clock. You just had to keep watching. The twists and turns are crazy.

It was just an incredible show. Yeah. And here's my question. Mm, question. Mawah, Bridget. Yep. The other one. I call her.

She was a mate. Because you know how a bit of like, a bit of a mystery is like, oh, do you reckon it's him? Do you reckon it's her? Like, are they working together? Yeah. It's one of those kind of shows. Yeah. Like everyone's a suspect.

Yes, absolutely. Bridget was really, really good at guessing what was going to happen. And I want to know if that's like, impressing. or really fucking annoying. Like, how specific? And I'm like, has this bitch gone on Wikipedia?

Like, have you googled this already? Did you watch it during the day and you went, oh, let's put it on tonight? Like, how specific? Yeah,

yeah. I'm so Natalie and Bruleer on this because... Can I tell you which bit more beepet? Yep. Have you seen it does? No. You can say. Bridget goes,

I reckon the... Oh. three episodes out. Yeah. Okay. Torb said that in the first episode. Okay, so we've just beeped the spoiler. And so what I was going to say...

But that's like pretty wild card. Oh my God. Crazy. Yeah. Absolutely crazy. And so the whole time I'm just watching, as you probably were going, just waiting for that to happen or not happen. Like, is this going to unfold or not?

Torbs and I, so like I said, we both really enjoy TV. It's less of like a, like we try not to watch TV and really. brought to, like, there are some shows we'll do that with like real housewives or whatever. But like, when we're sitting down to watch TV, like, we'll sit and watch it. It's like a fun hobby, I think. And doing that to each other, it's like, oh, I'm really impressed that you call that, but I'm a bit fucked off that I'm not surprised now. Yeah.

But it is a celebration that you did such a great job. When you see it coming, you're like, oh, I think I've nailed it. Yeah. Or sometimes at the end of the. first episode before the second episode plays, we'll pause it. And we'll go, who's your first suspect? All right. Where are we at?

Lock in a guess. It's like playing Cludeau. So I'm torn because sometimes I love it and I love it when I get it right. Yep. What did you guess? Again, I think we'll beat this. Right. That's pretty huge.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Like she walks in and I went, you know how she walks in with it. Yeah. We'll bake that. All right. That's impressive.

That's impressive. That would ruin the whole show. Yeah. Because that is like the whole thing. Yeah. Sorry we can't beat that for everyone in the opposite. I was watching it. One thing that we, I reckon we don't have to beep this out.

Yeah. I'll be the judge of that because you're so bad with spoilers. Me, who's just spoiled the whole show. Would you have done what the cop did? Oh. And isn't he great? He's wonderful. He's really, really good.

I don't think I would have gone back. Is that what you mean? Yeah, like, Woolie, like, am I doing this for the fan? Oh, that bit. Yeah. Oh. Like for his kid. I think I would.

Yeah, same. I think I would. Originally, I was like, no. And then by the end of the episode, I'm like, yeah. I think I would, like, it's a little bit for me of like, the game is an idea. but you have to fucking play it. Isn't that a bit of a metaphor for life though? You just go, oh, like, does you sit right with me?

But you go, well, everyone else is fucking playing it. I'm going to get left behind otherwise. Do you know what I mean? It's not always how it should be. Sometimes it's just how it is. How it is. Totally. And I went like, is it fair? Nah, but like...

Get yours, dog. You got to, isn't it? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Well, another show actually that Torbs and I got fucking sucked into watching. Not worth staying up late for.

And no one's going to fucking like this. Pluribus is the worst show I've ever watched. What's Pluribus? I wish I could get that time back. Who's in it? It's like the biggest show at the moment. It's an Apple TV one. It's the Vince Gilligan.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He built the whole city in Albuquerque for the show. Fuck, like, Unreal production, in fairness, but the show I'm not into it. I didn't like it. The lead, she won a fucking golden globe. Like, she's won all these awards for it. I just, like, the show, I just couldn't.

There were just so many decisions that I was like, it's not, da-da-don. Speaking of Vince Gilligan. We all heard me write that epic telenovela yesterday during my Love to See it. Where's Vince on that one? Like, you know, Hollywood's calling. Do you know what I mean? I used to get Vince Gilligan and Vince Colossimo mixed up.

Whoa. And I was like, I can't believe Vince Colossimo created Breaking Bad. Which one of them Is shitter Well kind of But which one of them Would be more offended By that TV

Like if you had Vince Gilligan And Vince Colossomo Charles was like Who the fuck is Vince Colossomo Vince Glossimo Was such a big deal He's like a Greek Australian actor He was in fucking everything

He's in underbelly Underbelly Like he's just He was that bitch In the 90s And early 2000s He is just like he was a really big deal.

If you go with him now, you'll probably just see court cases about parking fines. Oh, was he a... Like, he didn't pay parking fines for years and they had to like send him away. What? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

Talk about Breaking Bad. Wrong Vince. Wrong Vince. Vince. Vince Gilligan who created Breaking Bad. Yep. Brian Cranston was option three to play that character. Really?

The first two. I regret about this yesterday. The first two. John Cusack and Matthew Broderick. Oh, shit. Neither of them are right. Yeah. Matthew Broderick is too fun.

Yep. I feel like a bit too, because I mean, as you know, and every type of knows. Ferris Bueller is like one of my favorite movies. Like certainly top 10 or top five on my letterbox, so I reckon. John Cusack. What? Who's even figured? John Cusack might have just won the game for people, I think.

Who's just a legend? Who's thinking about John Cusack? Isn't it crazy that John Cusack's mom and dad went, oh my God, baby John, we're so excited to tell you, you're going to have a baby sister. And he went, what are you going to call her? And they went, Joan. Joan and John.

And he went into the creative industries. So did she, Joan Cusack, very famous actor. Good on her. Put her on the screen trials. You'll know who Joan Cusack is. She's in School of Rock. She voices Jesse in Toy Story 2. Which one in School of Rock, the teacher?

Yeah. Like the principal. That is John Cusack's sister. Yes, John Cusack. Charles, I'm not saying John Cusack. Show me John Cusack. That does make sense because she looks like John Cusack. Can you just quickly Google it?

Are they definitely brother and sister? Yeah, they're not married. No, they're probably. Scroll down, scroll down to Wikipedia. Siblings, John Cusack. Yeah. Oh, there's fucking six of them. Oh, my God.

Do they all have shit names too? Yeah, who's Bill? Click on Bill Cusack. Susie, John, Ann and Bill. Oh, that guy. Which one, is it? I will say Bill Cusack looks exactly like John Cusack. Yeah.

That's John Cusack there. That's not what that is not. Who are you thinking? No, I'm saying like he is not my Walter White, you know? Yeah. Fuck, he was a bit of a babe back in the day. Okay. No, like, that's a young, like from the 90s, I reckon.

Um, anyway, pluribus. Not for you. Not for me. I didn't like it. I'd love to hear people try and convince. How many apps did you get in? I would love people to try and convince me to go back and finish it. I think I got to episode six.

Like, I gave it a fucking fair flaw. That's a fair crack. That is fair. And for me, I gave up on heated rivalry after one episode. Worst show I've ever seen. And that feels homophobic. This is because you hate gays. No, I actually loved the sex parts.

They were not, they were not the problem. I didn't like, I thought that it just like, the time, I really don't like this in a show at all. And it did it like nine times in the first episode. It's like the show kind of starts and then there's a scene and then it goes two months later. And then there's one scene. And then it goes six months later. And then it goes one month later. There's like eight time jumps in the first episode.

Do they ever go back? Or is it just... Well, I only got to the first thing. But it's as if they're, like, trying to set up, like, their first meeting. Wasn't the summer I got hot a bit like that? No. It was a bit jumpy? The first season is...

Keeping mind, I only watch three episodes in season two. Yeah. No, so the first season is pretty much one timeline. Yeah. The second season jumps between, like, this summer and last summer. Yep. But it's very straightforward. Okay.

And then the third season is pretty much a single timeline. but there's one time time. There's one time. So no wonder you didn't like Tenet. But that is like what the movie's about though? Yeah. Like the time travel is not the same as...

That's why you hated prestige. Actually, every Christopher Nolan movie is all fucked up. No, but time travel is not a problem because, as you know, another one of my favorite movies. Alamed. Interstellar. Oh. Alamed.

That probably would be in my top 20. Not my top five, but interstellar. That's like very time. Very timing. Fucky. Yeah, fucky. Yep. But yeah, no, it was just like,

let's set this up. Let's set this up. Let's set this up. And I was just like, oh. Now, just the way that they did it was a bit bumpy for me. I would love to be convinced to watch season two. You know how there's this thing? Episode two.

I didn't even get yet. Danielle on our team. Yeah. She has tried to convince me. She's like, it's a beautiful story. You're going to absolutely love her. And I feel so guilty. But I just can't get into.

it. So I saw this girl do a TikTok and she's like, I always, I'm, I am. She goes, there's always this cliche of boys being like, oh, two girls are kissing, how hot. Yeah. And she's like, I've never, it was never the other way for me. I never thought, like, assumed that two guys looking up would be hot. Yeah.

And then she's like, I've changed my mind. Yeah. And you would after watching that. I'm horned up. It's like the, I would say that this, the horniness is actually just. Yeah. Like, I've read some romantic fantasy books that people are like, it's so horny and I read it and I'm like, I don't want to hear about his.

This is a Tuesday for me. His turgid member is just not doing anything for me. Do you know what I mean? But watching that show, like, you do get a bit juicy. I will say. And he got his lap hog out. And he gave her a hand dance. So question for Tony Lodge.

Now, this is going to, there's like the surface level. And then there's like, this might just really hit you. Open us up. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. I've seen it. What are you more likely to watch on that little laptop when no one else is around?

Two guys or two girls? I would probably always look at lesbian porn first. Which is why you hate hate hate hate men. I just, but I would watch lesbian porn because I think girls are hot. Yeah, same. And if I wanted to watch a boy fucking someone, I would have sex with torbs. Like Because you can watch that up close

Well I can watch it's You know It's in 3D You know What do you wear The little glasses Would it be 4D 4D?

Oh yeah Have you seen it? Yeah Like Do you know what I mean? Are you applying That the fourth D Is his lap hog

The fourth dimension Is Torbs His penis Well 4D is like water squirting In the cinemas and stuff What's the cinema got to do with this? No, yeah, I would probably watch lesbian porn.

Yeah, okay. I just think it's hot. Yeah. And it is. Yeah. What would you watch? Probably the same. Would you ever watch like, like straight couple?

Yeah. No, but would you ever watch like a boy and a girl? Yeah. But two guys, I'm just like, well, now there's two guys hotter than me. Yeah, so true. Yeah. Is everyone else? feeling bad about yourself.

Is everyone's usually that size? Yeah. Oh, no, well, good. I thought it was just like that one guy

in the hetero was just an anomaly. Do you know what I fucking love though? Fuck, nah, actually, all right.

We're going to break. Nah, you say it we can beep it. No, we don't need to beep I'm not like embarrassed

and think but I do love like a, like an amateur. I'm not into like super porny porn. No. I just, I can't do it.

Pool cleaners need not apply. Yeah, I don't like the dialogue. I, often find the dudes like I'm watching it and I find them quite creepy like I'm just not into it. It's just their terrible actors. Yeah. And it might.

Yeah. And so I don't like it. So I like like amateur stuff. Like, you know, just like a point and a girl fucking in their house. Yeah. I'm into that. Yeah. You know.

Someone else say something now. You want to film some amateur stuff? Yep. Charles couldn't do. No one needs to see that from me. Charles couldn't make amateur porn because he'd be like, no. The lighting. I've got a better camera coming from Amazon.

Actually, it's so fair. Yeah, the production value. Yeah, he'd make the production value too good. You'd like, I don't believe. All of a sudden it's gone too far the other way. The production's really high, but the people of the amateurs and that combination isn't what you are. And then when he was doing you, is like, is he thinking about you or is he thinking about spending money on our Amex to buy a new camera? Yeah.

He's like, oh my God, is the GoPro chart. Who's GoPro? Okay. Hi, I'm Lindsay from Prince Edward Island, Canada. Hey, I'm Eliza from Eltham in Australia. Hi, I'm Lauren from Stahl, Victoria, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patrion. Thank you very much for being part of it.

Hopefully you will come to Fiji with us. Love to see you in Fiji. Sorry, I have to get the... Oh, the boarding pass. Inspo's with Mel. Good on your inspoise with Mel. Jess, good on you, Jess, Ash Johnson, Cassandra Cromwell, Casey. Simpson, Casey Simpson, yeah.

So Jada, who do that's on, Cody Simpson. Jessica Weston, the best Western, like the hotel, like Mallory. Top five. April O'Hare, like the airport in Chicago. Chicago's O'Hare, isn't it? It is. That was good. That's amazing.

Alicia Gentry, sorry, I thought it, like gently is what I heard him, what I read. and I was like, oh, just gently. Courtney Sander, hardly know. Emily, Emily, Emily. Tony and Dexlan. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Absolutely. Was that three separate Emmleys?

Um, em. If your name is Emily, you have all just been shouted. Every Emily has been shouted out in Patreon. Em, Yel M in Emily. You're thinking of an anonymily. Emel, M. L.M. and Emily. Emile Mellem and Emily. can you see that Charles

I mean if I can't do it you've got fucking Ziltro chance Hey do you want to give it to the pronunciation king over here Emil M lemon Emily Here give us to go There you go Oh there you go Emel M and Emily

Can you translate that Emel Mainemily Well it's not Mell Mine Emily Don't be silly Emel M and Emily Emily Emile M and Emily Thank you very much

being a championed tar. Whoa. Gave that a red hot crack. Whoa. So I mentioned last week that, um, I'm not really ready to talk about it, but our holiday did get cut short to Bali.

Tom and I just got really sick and we were like, we've just, we've got to get home. Yeah. We also just didn't know how long it was going to last for. Yeah. And we're like, are we just going to sit here feeling awful in like,

and you're like trapped in your hotel room? You can't do anything. You can't even go out and get brinked. breakfast like just shit so we're like fuck I think we've just we've got to call it and it was for the best because torbs still wasn't well by the day we would have flown home yeah right um so it was the right call but we did feel a little bit short changed about it so we decided we would um go down to rye like st andrews beach um down the coast yep and um spend a couple of days like in an air b and be get out of the house a little bit and feel like we'd kind of gone and

seen and done something. Yep. And we, it's the first time actually that we've taken Pippa with us. Oh. Which I was like, I don't know if we mentioned on the show, but she was such a champ. Yeah. She was really good. I didn't know how she'd go, but, um, but she was so, so good.

And this. You surrounds, didn't throw her. Huh? No, little accidents. No, no. She was like, she was just so good. And like, we kind of know her pretty well. Like, she's, she's quite routine based.

So like we know that when she, as soon as she eats, she goes out and does a poo. So it's like she would eat her breakfast and then we would take her out in a play pen and leave her there because she also, she won't poo on the lead. She likes her privacy. So we put the play pen up. Yeah, she gets it.

We put the play pen up there and she did her business. Then we brought it like she would just, she was great. And I think the whole thing is going to make sense. But this does make me want to just, it's a two-parter. And I would just like to take my virtual hat off to people that travel with dependence. Because obviously Pippa is my baby. I understand she is not a human child.

But traveling with someone that like can't pack for themselves is so crazy. Because normally, Torbs and I go away. I pack my bag. He packs his bag. We're fine. But we're like packing our own bags. I'm like, oh my God, well, I've got to pack. What are you packing for Mabel this weekend?

Well, exactly right. I've got her hat, sunscreen, non-dairy yogurt. Yep. Bluey dance episode for her and her only. So are you saying you've never, like obviously you and Torbs capable adults, you've never really had to worry about you just like,

I've got myself sorted and we're good to go. I've never had to pack for another person before. And just, I just really want to say like, it adds a whole other element and I know that with a human child it would be a lot more because you're thinking about clothes and books and things like that but even with Pip I'm like oh my god

like both leads her food we can't just buy food down like she's got her specific food do they don't have salmon down there well she's got like her oh they must have salt water salmon where she only has fresh she only fresh yeah but you know we're like okay we've got to bring her food both of her leads her harness her fucking like just all this shit and just like

it's a lot of eggs mental load and I just huts off to anybody traveling with dependence whether it's a child where like whether it's your parent that you're looking after I don't it just it's crazy on yesterday's episode you said I think I'm going to have a kid because crafting sounds fun yeah the crafting opportunities I believe I said and now think about the this part yeah the responsibility opportunities but it was just yeah like huge respect yep but one of the parts about it was we were like, she doesn't really need a lot, but like thinking about, okay, well, if we're going to take her to the beach, what might we need for that?

What, you know, all the different scenarios. And I was like, oh, I would like to get one of those like little beach carts. Oh, yeah. You know those, I've actually got the. Yeah, I saw our dad wheeling his two kids through IKEA with the two kids in the car. In the car. But then all their stuff was in it. I mean, iconic.

Yeah. I've just, I've seen lots of people using them over the summer. They're kind of one of those hot items for the last few years. Yeah. So what, you got, you'll have like, PIPA in it because Pippa's only little. You could probably also get an esk. Yeah. A couple of drinks.

And so I was like, at the beach. Yeah. She could sit in there and not have to be on her lead. Yep. Like, how good. Great. So I'm like, I reckon that this is like a good purchase. I think it's good.

I also just think they're so fun. Yeah. Am I going to use a. that much, maybe not, but it's like, it's not going anywhere. It's in the shed. I think it's really fun. And I had a click Google though, and I was like, um, where is the cutest one I can find?

Yeah. There's a lot online that are very cute and like, you know, $350 and stuff. I found a very, very cute one at Spotlight, of course. Spotlight really do have everything. $69. If you said, guess I was going to say 50 or 60 bucks. Yeah. Like, how fucking good.

And because it's 2026, the year of shopping and store was one of my inns for the year. I'm like, let's go down to Spotlight and we'll grab it in person and bring it home. Perfect. We go down to the spotlight and there is like a mountain of beach things like as you walk in. Yeah. Because it's, you know, they've got like the folding beach chairs, the umbrellas, the carts, like everything. And it's like that time. Yep.

Everyone's buying shit like that. Yeah. we walk over, we kind of like find like the area and we're looking for the car. And it's like, you know when they have like a big palette of things in the middle of an aisle? I'm well aware you've seen my wardrobe. Yes. But they've got like. That's where the good shit's at.

Yeah. And it's seasonal stuff. A center aisle. Yeah. It's like an alley. Because you wouldn't put that stuff out in winter. So it doesn't have its natural home. It doesn't need an aisle.

So you're just like, oh, it's summertime, just throw it down the middle, sweetheart, and watch them fly out the door. Yes, that exactly. But so when you're down an aisle, you're kind of like shopping by yourself, you can't see anyone else. But we're like on this thing and there's people kind of around the display looking at stuff on the other side. Yeah. This girl, she probably wouldn't have been far off my age, maybe mid-20s, early 30s kind of thing. And she's there shopping with their mom. First of all, fuck you, rub it in.

Yeah. My mom's dead. I'd love to be at spoilout with my mom. Yeah, sure. Anyway, so we kind of... Did you drop it must be nice on this bitch? I just went, oh, that looks good, doesn't it? I go to Torbs like, oh my God, that's the one.

We're kind of like, we've obviously selected our color. Yep. We kind of pick it out. And this lady on the other side goes to her daughter like, oh, God, like all those stripes are nice. Look at what they've got. Oh, a bit nifty looking at all of the like... They are actually fun. Yeah, it's a fun.

It's like blue and red stripe. Like, it's quite fun. Like, summary. And they've got umbrellas that are the same pattern and shit like that. And she's like, oh, that stuff's kind of fun. The daughter goes, whatever, mum. And he's like, a bit of a dick about it. And you've heard this.

Well, yeah, I hear her kind. We're not that far. We're probably not far off how far you and I are of each other. And I, we've selected our, this all happened like time slowed down. Yeah. We've selected our cart. She goes, oh, mum. The mum then goes,

no, I think that those beach carts are really nifty. As we've picked ours up, the daughter unleashes. And she goes, they're so fucking stupid, Mum, how embarrassing. What do you need that for? Just carry the staff, you're lazy.

Like, just fully, like, fully unloads. Only losers would buy something like that. Gide tone. Genuinely, I believe verbatim. She was like, only losers would fucking get it. And we kind of, we've already picked it up. And across the display, our eyes kind of lock. Yeah.

And I kind of go like, only a fucking loser would buy one of those. And kind of like gesture to like, yep, there's my boyfriend holding one. We're buying one. I pick this up just. I pick this up just to take it to the counter to say, no. I don't want it. I'm actually not a loser. I don't want it.

And Torbs is holding it to show the one that we don't want. That we aren't buying it. And I'll let Miranda Kerr know that we're not sleeping together tonight. It's not fair joke. People at Westfield. And so I'm kind of like, yeah, only losers would buy them. And this girl just doesn't really get what I'm saying. And she goes, thank you.

They're so fucking stupid. And I'm just like, like, I think she can see my face kind of like dropping. And I go, I was. like doing gear because that one I've just we're buying that like I'm just like how do I get myself out of this I'm surprised I just did buy I would have oh so true so true we're throwing this on the floor probably set it on fire in the car park don't want anything to do with it and we've I'll have to buy one to make sure other people can't get this because it's that bad yeah other people aren't traumatized like this item and then um she just like

continues to be like yes so fucking stupid And Tubbs is like, and you can tell that he's like, should, I put it back down. Like, sure, I put us back down. Are we committed to that? What are we doing? And I just want to. Like young people know stuff. And the mum's just like, oh, don't listen to her.

And then like kind of walked on. And I've got, we're standing there with our fucking dick in our hand pretty much. And then we're just like, see you guy. Like, great to catch up in the spotlight. It was so nice talk to. And we walk off like with the, I was like, well. So did you get it? We did.

I was like, no, I'm not letting some little bitch in spotlight. Turn me off the beach car. It was best I say bar cart. The beach cart. So we did buy it. And it's actually great. We used it. Oh, my God.

Yeah, they asked her. Fuck that chick. Yeah. But it was just so funny that she's just like, they're so funny. I'm like, yeah, aren't they? Obviously being like, look, this is awkward. And she just did not pick up on that. And she's like, yeah, I'm with you, girl.

And I was like, no, I love the beach cart. Did you consider flipping the script? What does that mean? Only losers don't appreciate these. Yeah. Well, actually, I think they're a feat of engineering. And I'd love to see you carry all your stuff and a French bulldog down to the beach.

Yeah, especially with those hands. Yeah. Oh, do you not have a French bulldog sucks to be you. Bitch! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. And then you know, we put the beach cart together. Torbs puts me in it and I do this. And he pushes me out of the store.

Drive by, fuck you. They see me rolling. They hate him. I'm in one of those little spotty trolley. Catch her running in my trolley. Catch her running in my trolley. Yeah, see. We can get sketchy answer, mate that.

I'll just reenact it. Let's go right now. Yeah, I'll do it. But yeah. What was her name? I don't know. Because when I finished making that video, I'm going to send it to her. Imagine.

Imagine she's a tarpa. No, she didn't say anything. She didn't not a tarpa. Nah. A tarpa wouldn't have that vibe. A tarpa would. wouldn't have that vibe. A tarpa wouldn't disrespect a beach trolley.

I couldn't have said that better myself. Because beach trolleys are tarp energy. They're tarp energy, I feel. New merch idea. Tony and Ryan Beachcar. Great idea. Wish I had a thought of it. That was me scorch-handing you.

Yes. Yeah. Oh my God. That is so fun. Beach carts in Fiji. Fuck the Buller Bus. We're getting around on Beach Car. You would know about the Buller Bus because you

weren't there. And you like wouldn't catch that. I wouldn't get it. No. I caught the Buller bus when I was in Fiji. Like when I set the train before you guys went after me. Did you actually catch the Buller Bus? I did catch the Buller Bus.

That's surprising. Why? Because it's like a form of public transport. I catch the train. The Buller Bus is still spoken about it in our house. And we still have Buller Bear, the little teddy bear that the hotel gave. It's her favorite. It's like she won't go to bed without it.

That's a good tip. We should remember that for the weekend. Bullabar bear. Yeah. I... Imagine if Mabel just goes, you weren't there with us. Like, imagine if she just fucking roasts me like a fucking chicken.

You can't hang out with Bullabair. That's only for people that didn't break their feet last year. Yeah. Oh. I'm glad we're on the same team about beach trolleys. Same. You know, I'll be very honest with you. I was nervous bringing it up because I thought you'd be like,

them fucking shit. No, I saw it. I actually... I think they don't. I've literally just been waiting for an excuse to buy one. It's a clever. And they actually fold up to not much. Like they're not like a...

I saw a few at Hillsville Sanctuary. The zoo. Like people using them. Like pulling the, like we've got lunch in there. We've got the toddler. We've got a hat. We've got a little umbrella.

We've got the drink bottles. I think they hold like over 100 kilos. So like lunch and two kids. Throw them in. Like easy as. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's, they're sturdy.

And the one from Spot. like obviously my OG. Wonder where that chick is now. They don't have them at J.B. High Fire, I did check. Just in case anybody's... Speaking of you, your love of retail and in store. Thank you. Bianca Haley Roos, has your love to see it.

Bianca Haley Kangaroos. Yep. She said, Tony may be a Dally Queen, but she's not the highest up at Coles in her family. Charles, can you please put this on the screen? What? Yeah. So all Coles trucks have names because obviously it's a bit cute, but I'm sure there's actually like a which car instead of it just being like car four,

three, eight. Yeah. You're in Charles today. What is it a day ending in my dream? And so this is called Pippa. And that is, I love that it's so colourful as well. Like the juicy fucking raspberries on the outside. Tony may, this is what Bianca said.

Tony may be the deli queen, but Pippa is delicious. delivering the goods. Just one of many Coles delivery trucks I've worked on. Okay. And I love taking Piper for a spin. Isn't that a bit of fun? You know what Coles should actually do? Beach carts instead of trucks.

Wonderful idea. All your groceries in the back. Bit, um, probably your ice cream's going to be. Small, unless refrigerated is not going to say. That's a great idea. What is clever? Is they're not using the color red in graphics? They're using the raspberries.

Doesn't that get you going? Yeah. Oh my God. They've thought of everything. Coles are great. No Woolies, but where are you at the moment? I'm on Woolies at the moment because of the frequent flypoints. That's all that's holding me there currently.

Okay. I'll be very honest. Okay. Yeah. Are you saying that if frequent flyer points were available at Colza, that might be the end of your order? They are virgin. his flybys.

Every, this whole country is just divided in. Oh, he's absolutely. Pick your side of Coles. Are you a Woys or are you a Coles? Are you a virgin or you're a Quince? If you're a Coles, it means you're a virgin. Yeah. Not a raid, but.

A little bit. Yeah. I'm going to love to say, you know my favorite video ever like, come on in, if you got some balls. So on, at the end of last year when we did like the best. Sorry, whatever you say in the next two minutes,

it's going to be hard for me to come straight up because that video is so funny. It kills me. I just laugh and turn into a fucking four-year-old boy. Oh, it just makes me piss. And so we used it. Charles last year, logistics chat, take me cool chat. Charles last year goes, do you have a video that you want me to put in the best of 2025 video?

And I said, can you do that video? And he goes, that's been in the last three. So it's like three years in a row. It's in my best of the year. I think the video is like 10 years old. If I was a betting man, I reckon it's a good chance. to get there again this year. Oh, and it will.

It makes me piss every time. I absolutely love it. But Amy Louise message on Patreon and said, that video that you love, that come on in if you got some pussy, reminds her of a Facebook group that she's a part of. And this is kind of our area because we love the dull men's club.

Yep. I'm in the group that says we all pretend it's 2012. Oh, I like that. Yeah. I mean, the one that's like, we all reply like booms on the internet. And it's like beautiful photo, Nicole, space X, space X, mom, you know, like shit like that. I know that's funny as a concept, but that would just fucking kill me.

Sometimes when they hit you at a long time. Yeah. I can't take that on right now. But this one that Amy's part of is called Death Stairs. And it's a Facebook group and they just post hell dicey stairs from around the world. So look at these stairs in a lighthouse. It's like single go up one child. We'll post this in their Facebook thread as well.

Oh, that is. That is death stairs. And so people just post these like crazy stairs that they see around the world. Because in that video, he falls down the stairs at the end. Oh, okay, yeah. And they were death stairs. Yeah, deathly funny. First of all, death stairs is a great pun that is a been underused.

Wait, why is it a pun? What's it a pun of? Are you fucking with me right now? Are you joking? No, I'm actually No, what's in a pun of? Death stairs What am I giving you right now?

Like when I broke my foot, the stairs, is holding me? Like I fell down the stairs In the accommodation. You're fucking to me. I swear on my fucking life, I don't get it. And I'm going to start getting mad.

Someone better fucking start talking. Let me know when that starts. Thanks for the warning. All right, if you were getting fucked off with me, how would I know? because I'll fucking tell you. No, but your face is telling me now because it is giving me out. Yeah, because I'm fucking pissed off now because I don't fucking get it.

Yeah, but what are you doing to me? I'm getting fucking mad because I don't get the fucking thing. No visual, no, no, no, no audio. Just visually, what are you giving me? No, no, no, no, there's no audio. What are you giving me? Like giving you a face? Yeah, but what specific face are you giving me?

What's that? Sorry, Charles has really throw me. What how would you describe the face you're giving me? Confused? No, you're angry at me. You want to kill me. How did you describe the face you're giving that wants to kill me? Are you joking?

Are you joking me? Get the fuck out of here. This is the final episode of Tony and Ryan. I'm like a death stare. Oh my God, yeah, I get it. A clue. He's in the name of. the Facebook group.

Are you kidding? Genuinely? No, genuinely, I am not fucking you. That's good stuff. That's been even fucking now. That's good stuff. So it's like, now you get the group name. Yeah.

Well, I just thought it was like, all spooky stairs from around the world. I get it. Sorry for getting mad. No, I was doing it to get us to the death stair. You got me there. You get me there. You got me to the edge.

You just did that hand. gesture and this is on YouTube hand dance that is crazy I did not get that at all I've been think like I wrote I say this down as like you love to say it and I was like God that's funny you're gonna love this Facebook group and I've been thinking about it for like a bit of time have you mentioned it to anyone else like if you said it out loud if you said it out loud have you said it out of death test and he goes oh like the thing and you go what no that did well actually it's obvious that you haven't mentioned it out loud because this would have happened yeah death stares like

Like, you know, I know what it is. Yeah, I get it. I don't think she does. That's good stuff. I dropped my laptop earlier. Where's that going? It's down there. Anyway, that's funny.

That is really funny. That is really funny. Sterey funny. We just had to take the steps to get there. That's funny. Here we go. No, nah. Nah.

Okay, let's pretend I didn't say this, but I'll say it. All right. I was about like, oh, who sings? Five, six, seven, eight. Steps! That's all I got. I don't have anything else. See you tomorrow, I guess.

Remember when I went to that stairs warehouse in Perth? Because you were trying to get to the accountant upstairs? I just need to get upstairs while you come to the right place. He's like, no. Day of my life. I think you gave him a death chair. Yeah, and he goes, oh, are you talking about that Facebook? He goes, I don't really get it, but I like it.

Yeah, because they're stairs and likely you could die if you fail. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. Yeah, no, I get, so the thing about double entendres. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one half of it. You got an entendre. Yeah, it's an entendre. I mean, watch that show about the guys in L.A.

Entondra. Instead of entourage. That's not close enough. That's not. That's close enough to that girl's name who was the champion to have. Mary. Emily. Oh, Emily Menominy.

Entondri is how you pronounce it in France. Okay. All right. Anyone else? Just want to have a crack today? See you, everyone. See you tomorrow. Love you.

Love you, bye.