Toni and Ryan - Toni Speak No Americano

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

HOWDY Y'ALL, I'M BECOMING A LOCAL! Plus what the heck is daylight savings and what do we do? Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. We are calling Matt, who is in New Zealand. Matt from New Zealand. And Matt and his wife manage a hotel, like an old, beautiful hotel. Oh, haunted. Guess how many years old.

When I say a beautiful old hotel, what do you assume? It's haunted. How old? You have to put a number on it in assume? It's haunted. How old? You have to put a number on it in a country like New Zealand. 100 years? 160 years old. We'll ask him. Do you reckon he'll be defensive?

A ghost might answer the phone. Hello. Hello, Matt. How are you doing? It's Tony and Ryan. Oh, my God. You mean to tell me that Tony, Ryan, actually got it right this time? He's actually dead on time.

Is he? Or is that the time difference as he fucked up? He's two hours. He's fucked up one end. Yeah, all good. Matt, we have two questions. One, is your 160-year-old hotel haunted? And two, will you approve today's podcast?

Yes to both. Oh. Spooky. Nostradamus. Tony predicted it. Nice haunted, obviously. Nice ghosts. Oh, Spooky. Nostradamus. Tony predicted it. Nice haunted, obviously. Nice ghosts. Oh, nice ghosts, yeah.

Oh, that's good. See, yeah. Do you want to give your hotel a plug? Yeah, what's it mean? Only nice ghosts. Dandy's Pass Hotel, yeah. It's a legendary place. 162.

It's 1862 it was built. It's almost as old as I am. You're on to two. Almost, not one. A couple of ghosts in my closet. Yeah, don't open that back door. Matt, are you happy to approve today's episode? If it's not the ghosts, I'd be worried about the skeletons.

Will you approve the podcast, Matt? Absolutely, let's do it. Let's do it. Hey, this is Kiwi Matt from the South, Matt? Absolutely. Let's do it. Let's do it. Hey, this is Kiwi Matt from the South Island of New Zealand. And you are listening to a couple of Aussie legends, Dr. Tony Lodge and the butter to her bread, Mr to the show. Tony's having a fucking quarter-life crisis. I'm not having a quarter-life crisis. I just know that my posture's really bad and I'm trying to improve it.

Yeah, but then your posture gets good and you go, but do I look snooty? And if I look, and then you're like, oh, my God, how am I sitting? And suddenly you can't even sit without having concerns i know but have you ever seen that meme the internet meme and it's like why is my back sore and then it's like me sitting at the computer and it's a computer chair with like a prawn on it yeah it's 17 hours yeah how could this be true yeah literally oh you know it was i've been in a bit of an Amazon hole recently. Well, actually, just an internet hole of late because my partner, Torbs, and I recently bought a house.

We're moving in at the end of the year and I'm like, oh, like. There is not a gadget or a device that Tony hasn't considered. Yeah, like I'm like, what things will we need to upgrade? Do we need a ride-on mower tractor for our four metres of tiny backyard? For our, like, card-playing size lawn. And I've seen these chairs that have, like, extendable bits so you can sit at your computer, like, with your legs crossed. And, like, other, like, yoga chairs which have, like,

a bit at the bottom that swings around so you can kind of, like, sit forward on it so you're not like kind of sitting backwards. I know it's not what you're saying, but anytime you say it's got this bit that, my brain just goes, lazy boy. Oh, no. And Tony sent me a couch the other day and goes, what do you think of this? And I said, where are the cup holders? Okay.

Where is the handle that flips the legs out? During our marathon live stream, we were sitting on a leather reclining couch. And it fucking rocked. And because when Ryan said we're going to set up on the couch, I was like, oh, because my couch at home is so freaking uncomfortable. I was like, there is no way we're going to last three days, 53 hours straight on this couch. Like, there's just no way.

And we did. It was the comfiest couch I've ever sat on in my life. If Airbnb booking didn't expire, I could probably still be on that couch. Same. I'd still be there. I'd be having good posture on that couch. No, that's one thing it didn't have. Yeah, it didn't have that.

But it had the lumbar support. Yeah, that was actually the table behind it that we ripped to shreds. I don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. Too fast to a lumbar. Hey, coming up today, Daylight Savings Chat. Last weekend, Daylight Sav savings clicked over in Australia. And doesn't this just send fucking people through the roof?

People can't figure it out. Farmers think they run this town. My daughter, useless. Some guy on Reddit has a fucked conspiracy theory. We'll get to all of that. A deep dive into daylight savings. What is true and what is not true? And where are we at with it?

Where are we at? Where do we stand? Where do we stand stand where do we stand on daylight savings uh first though we are off to america in a few weeks october 26 well don't waste all your great accents in one go sweetheart because um i'm excited about going to the us yeah same i think it's gonna be really fun do you now i know you're gonna stick out like a saw to her thumb, but today is a test of how much of a local you can sound. Now, Tarpers, which is Tony and Ryan podcast, have sent through like, here's where I'm from and here's a saying we have here.

Oh, great. To give you a bit of practice to be a local. And are these from places we're going or is it just all over? All over, just to get a real flavour of, you know, around town. So, let's call this Australian woman attempts to be an American local. Howdy, partner. Now, what I'm going to do is just give you the word and now instead of asking you what you think it means, I'm just going to ask you to use it in a sentence, how you think it should be used.

Stephanie is from LA. Hi. Howdy, Stephanie. Oh, from LA. Hi, Stephanie. And she refers to diamond cutters. Diamond cutters. Yeah.

So, please use that in a sentence. And keep in mind, she's a hot California girl. Diamond cutters. And keep in mind, she's a hot California girl. Diamond cutters. If you're going to sit like that, keep your diamond cutters closed. Is it legs? Like, legs?

No. No? But also, who's sitting that they need to be told that? I don't know. Sound like something that, like, a mum would say to, like, a young kid. Diamond cutters is when it's so cold, your nipples are so hard, they could cut diamonds. Oh, see, I could key a car when my nipples are hard.

You could key a car, yeah. So, when it's cold in LA, which is never, Stephanie goes, oh. Yeah, see, when would you need that? Look at those diamond cutters, mate. Maybe it's when you're swimming at Venice Beach. Pretty good. At the Marina Del Rey. That's two different places.

Close to each other. They're, like, right there. Yeah. But it's a different place. I always get confused between Marina Del Rey and Lana Del Rey. Yeah. I was looking at it yesterday and I was like, I wonder where I should go home from. Richie is in Atlanta and they say Jeet.

Jeet. Yeah. Jeet on out of here. Get away. Get the F out. No? Not quite. Jeet is short for it's did you eat compounded. Oh, Jeet yet. Jeet yet? I'll whip you up a plate. I actually just had a croissant. Jeet? Yes. Yes.

I like Jeet. Same. I could use that. You know what I like that we do in Australia is like, what's a pie cost? What does a pie cost? But it's, yeah, what does a pie cost? But it sounds as if you're asking like, what is a pie cost? Like a pie cost is something.

But you're like, what's a pie cost? Like, a pie cost is something. Oh. But you're like, what's a pie cost? And people are like, I don't know. I don't know what that is. But then you're like, what does a pie cost? Oh. That's something that, like, Australians. Cultural differences.

Yeah. I didn't realise that wasn't a thing everywhere else. Ooh, Lauren from Ohio says she has a devil's strip. A devil's strip? From Ohio as well. Well, is it? Should I go in the direction we're all thinking? Down south?

Ohio's actually up north. Because it's Ohio. It's not South O. Thanks. I've redeemed myself with the joke. I didn't mean to. Thanks, I've redeemed myself with the joke Yeah, I'm gonna get my I'm not gonna go the full Brazilian

I'm gonna go the devil's strip Like a landing strip on your pubs Sorry, your accent just did a whole road trip in one sentence Yeah, because I get around, okay I can't keep my diamond cutters closed. Can't keep your devil's strip to yourself. Devil's strip is the strip of grass between the footpath and the road. Why is that the devil's strip?

Well, in Australia, we call that a nature strip. Yeah. Which, when you think about it, it's, like, a pretty lame thing to call it, isn't it? Like, let's put a strip of nature between. Yeah, it's, like, very, like, an obvious name. Yeah. Like, what would you call that bit of nature? Yeah.

Nature strip? Nature strip. I mean, it's a strip of nature. What else could it be? It's a pretty grey, concretey area. We should put some nature in. Yeah. Put a strip of it down there.

It's as if, like, a robot was like, needs nature. And, like, you were playing The Sims and it was like, you'll get extra points if you put some nature in. We don't have room for a full nature, but we could get a strip in though. We could get a strip of nature. That might be nice. A couple of points there. Dawn is from Florida and they say running your gator. Running your gator.

Yeah. Because there are a lot of gators in Florida. Nah, sorry. Go gators! Are you running on time? Nah, I'm running a gator. I'll be there soon. Is it like running a bit late? Like running later? Running a gator? That sounds nice and it rolls off the tongue. Doesn't it?

It's not correct. It means like running your mouth. Oh, he's over there running his gator. Yeah. Oh, I like mine better. Yeah. If Florida could change that before I get there, that would be good. We'll let them know.

Fuck Florida, what a cooked, awesome place. I know. I've never had more. I stayed in Florida for a bit. It was the best. I just love, like, on TV shows when they show, like, we're going to visit our grandparents. Of course, they live in Florida.

Yep. And it's, like, hot, steamy, humid. Like, there's an episode of Broad City where they go down to Florida and their hair is just, like, massive and stuff. And, oh, also Modern Family. They go down to Florida. I'm pretty sure Seinfeld's parents or George Costanza's parents or someone's parents and they go down there. And it's just, like, iconic.

And I'm like, that is how I would like to retire. Yep. A tennis court in Florida in one of those, like- Compounds. Yeah. They're like- Gator communities. Yes.

Yeah. Carrie from Pittsburgh suggests you use yins. Yins. Oh, that's hard. Yins. What does yins sound like? Sounds a little bit like got my yins in, like got my steps up. Did you go for a walk today?

Yeah, got my yins in. You know what I mean? That might be that. No. Got my yins in. I'm a yins guy. Like how I'm a steps guy, you're a yins girl. Yeah, like, oh, you're on a health kick.

Yeah, getting me yins in. That's quite good. Quite creative. I'm guessing it's not right. It's not a test of creativity. I will point that out. You're telling me. Yinz is short for you all, which is short for are you all.

And the example Carrie said is, Yinz coming around for dinner. But then in Australia, you'd say, Yinz coming for dins. And then we'll have some thin mints mint thins fuck you fucked it it's because i don't eat mint i was just trying to fit in yeah um but do you i reckon we could use that because when we're doing the meet and greets it's like all right yin's around here um so i'm nice to meet yin's oh it sounds racist being. I prefer saying steps, to be honest. Yeah. I'll get my yins in.

All right. Oh, yins in. This was called Australian woman attempts to be an American local, but it's changed to Australian woman tells Americans how to talk good. Yeah. Whoa. See you soon, America. Suddenly I'm not the problem.

Hey, this is Kiwi Matt from the South Island of New Zealand. And you are listening to a couple of Aussie legends, Dr. Tony Lodge and the butter to her bread, Mr. Ryan John. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. That's Champion Tapas, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Joshua Miller. Good on you, Joshy. Conway. Is that Josh Miller of Stephanie Claire Smith fame?

I assume so. Same. Oh, someone who we both know bought a Patreon membership for their work and claimed it on tax. Who? Oh, really? Oh, you've paid for some of that then? Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Conway Conway. Conway Conway. You know, whenever I say the name Conway, I think of, like, the family guy bit. And it's like, here's Conway Twitty. And it's the guy, like, singing the, like, country music. Anyway, Becky Davis.

Becca Davis. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Like Betty Davis. Amanda Horvath. Don't have a joke. Elise Langer. Good on ya. The Big Lang.

The Big Lang. And Cameron Zingle Anderson, who I actually have a special shout out because he messaged and said, hey, Tony and Ryan, I haven't been to Tarpa for a while. Hashtag Cozzy Lives. And we totally get that. And he said, but I had to join back up because, and I can't remember what he said, but it was really good.

It was really good. Whatever he said was really good. It was. Do you want to look it up real quick? Nah. I think we can all just like sit in the uncomfortability of me not remembering that. Yinz will be fine with it. Oh, yeah.

Get Yinz in. So, Cam, thank you. Love you. Good on ya. Yeah. See you on a devil's trip near you. This Saturday, we are in Auckland as a make-up. Tony doesn't have COVID anymore.

Meet and greet. Bit touch and go for a minute, but, Tony doesn't have COVID anymore. Meet and greet. Bit touch and go for a minute, but here we are. We're coming. 10am at Brido Mart. There's a little market there, like a little farmer's market. And Shaka Brothers. That's around the corner, but that's just for us, though. That's not what I mean.

Oh, yeah, no. You can't follow us there. But yesterday, the episode was literally called Shaka and Suck, I think. No, Shaka and Suck. What think. No, Shuck and Suck. What did I say? Shuck and Fuck. Oh, you act as if one's, like, totally fine. That's disgusting, Ryan.

I can't believe you would say that. I just need to look up the weather. Oh, fuck. It's going to rain on Saturday. Oh, fuck. The day we were supposed to go. Beautiful. It was, like, the most beautiful Auckland day.

Well, I was inside sick. So, it wasn't beautiful for me. So, any time outside is lovely. There is a little undercover bit that we can commandeer, I reckon, the actual shopping centre part. I'm a bit worried because yesterday I just actually checked the Facebook event and there's only like 30 people that have said they're coming. Oh, great.

We've spent thousands of dollars going back again. Yeah. What's that per person? Like, thanks for coming out. I've spent thousands of dollars going back again. Yeah. What's that per person? Like, thanks for coming out. I've spent $50 for each and every one of you. We might as well just give them cash as they rock up. No, they'll cost it for me. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. They have to give us cash. Yeah. You have to buy tickets to come now. Yeah. Yeah. I looked at it. So, if people want to come, that'd be great.

Because. That's right. The sooner we finish meeting and greeting, the sooner we can start shucking and sucking. Shucking and fucking. Sony. Sony. But that is- We have to be careful because Auckland doesn't do daylight savings

and when we do, Melbourne does. So, it's an extra hour difference, which means we're pretty much meeting them at three in the morning. So, the daylight savings thing has absolutely done me in my first of sorry first of all so i wake up on sunday morning right sunday just gone and i checked my phone and it was 9 a.m and i was like fuck i never sleep till like must have needed it and then i'm like'm, like, kind of tired still. Like, that's weird.

But you and I, like, haven't been super well. Like, we've been a bit under the weather. So, it's like, oh, maybe blah, blah, blah. And then it's not till Monday, like, afternoon that I start seeing all this stuff about daylight savings, like, online. Like, on Instagram or whatever. And I was like, online, like, on Instagram or whatever. And I was like, oh, that must be coming next week. And then I realised it had already changed. What usually does me in is the six o'clock news.

Because you go, it's getting dark. The six o'clock news is on. And then sometimes you're watching the news and you go, it's fucking bright outside. Yeah, like, I could literally... What has happened? This could be the middle of the day. Yeah. So, that's the...

For some reason, it's the six o'clock news that'll, like, make me go, hang on, something's not right. Realised? Something's not right. Well, I just was like- Because it was really hot over the weekend as well. Like, you don't get as hungry when it's hot. Yep.

And so, because it was kind of hot, I was like, oh, it's normal that we're not really that hungry yet. Even though it was, like, 8pm. Yeah. And we hadn't had dinner. And I was like, no, this is kind of- This kind of adds up. It's just the we're not really that hungry yet, even though it was like 8pm and we hadn't had dinner. And I was like, no, this kind of adds up. It's just the heat.

Yeah, it kind of adds up. But can I just say, on the record, I have always been a fan of daylight savings. I think it's great. I think it's awesome that you get an extra hour, especially if you work nine to five, you get an extra hour of daylight to like get shit done or go for a walk when you go to work in the dark work all day and it's a beautiful day outside but you're in the office and then you leave at five and it's dark already and you're yeah a hundred percent and so i'm like looking at this all this extra sunlight that we get and because i'm like

real whimsical when it's sunny and i've been real whimsical the last couple of- There's not a cool that she hasn't whims. Yeah. She has been insane. I'm just really fun at the moment. So fun. And so I love it. But now that I'm like getting a little bit older, I'm realizing that's kind of like really throwing my routine out.

But is it just like jet lag? Like soon I'll be over it. But like right now it like takes a couple of days to adjust. They say it can take like a week to like for your body to come around because it's just it's a bit confusing so if bridget and i got the time back we'd spent trying to figure out what time mabel needs to go to bed oh we would have a free week up our sleeves because well there's your savings so we were like oh do we bring her to bed 15 minutes earlier each day, like, last week?

Oh. To kind of, like, smooth it over. And then because, as some parents would know, sometimes you just have those days where you're all out of whack and you're just like, oh, God, we've lost track of the day. And you're like, we just need to get through. So, she, instead of going one hour back or whatever it is, has gone two hours the other way. So, we're like, oh, she usually goes. Hang on, hang on. Yeah.

So, we're like. oh, she usually goes- Hang on, hang on. Yeah. So, we're like- Did the clocks go forward? Okay, so she usually goes to bed at six, which now would be seven. And we go, that's fine. So, you've got to put her to bed at five? No. No. What?

Okay, so this is what we did for a very long time. So, normally six o'clock is like bath time and then she goes to bed after the bath yeah so you got to put her to bed at five but we'll like if if in her mind it's the same uh that would now be seven o'clock yep um which is actually fine because it means we can get that extra hour sleep in the tomorrow morning we're like that's actually fine so we're actually going to use it to our advantage to shift an hour that we wanted to shift um and she won't know the difference either way yeah so then it gets to about 4 30 and she's like i'm ready for bed and i'm like you're a fucking idiot you've misread this she she thought that you had to put the clocks back yeah

she got confused she didn't read the memes and then she goes for like goes down for a few hours and wakes up and it's still light and then she i don't know where i am now and she's lost she's real lost and she doesn't get it. Oh, poor little Moose. Yeah, I know. She's an idiot. But one thing when I lived in Queensland, right? Because Queensland don't do it.

No, because they already get enough sun. Isn't that why? No, no. No, I think it is. It's because they already like, the days are long enough that you don't need to shift it. No, but it's light at like four in the morning. No, but. So, here's the thing. I don't need to shift it. No, but it's light at like four in the morning. No, but... Oh. So, here's the thing and... I don't get it.

The thing about Brisbane's the capital, but that's like way south. And then, like, they may as well be three different states. Queensland's so big. That's true. Same with WA. It's quite large and it's a dry heat, so it's a bit different.

Perth, though, three hours. Every time we talk about Perth, Tony, we'll find a way to mention it's a dry heat. Well, it is a dry heat. Can someone let us know if Dallas is a dry heat or a wet heat? Oh, I'd actually love to know for packing purposes. So, when I lived in Queensland, they said, oh, we can't do it because the cows, like, they get up at four in the morning and then they come in and if we change the time, then

the cows will be out of whack. And then I said, being, you know, this out of towner who happened to, unfortunately, with an opinion to be on the radio at the time. Yeah. Said. Oh, mate, you would have gotten eaten alive. And I don't even know what you said yet. Like this city guy from Melbourne just rolls into regional Queensland.

Oh, surely you could just. Well, this is what I reckon. Yeah. I said, not only will the cows be fine, I don't think cows know what time is. They don't have watches on. No. Then I started thinking about like cows with watches on their little ankles. Yeah, their little hoofs.

Yeah, but then they just look like they've got out of jail and then like on home. But I was like. Oh, my God. Is it a leg or an arm? I know it's definitely legs because I say to Bronson, I'm like, are you silly, dog? You've got four legs and no arms. And he doesn't like that. But I call. I say to people like, show me a little arm. At the front one's arms with the back one's legs. Maybe that's what it is. No, they're all. Okay. That's what it is on a person.

And then I said, well, why don't, if you want your cows to get up at the whatever time, then why don't you just get up an hour earlier? Oh, the farmers don't like being told that. They don't really like that. But it's so dumb because the point is, is that at four in the morning, we're all asleep and there's this natural light. But then at the other end of the day, we've got the lights on in the house. I actually- But the cows don't like it, apparently.

So, I'm from Perth and I reckon about 10- It's actually a dry heat. It is a dry heat. And I think that might be the reason. So, we did like a trial. Like it was like a three or four-year trial or something in like 2007, I think, or something. And because we never had it and they were like, we're going to do a four-year trial and then we'll like vote it in or out. And we'll all decide whether we want to keep it.

They have opted not to keep it. Even though I thought it was really good because now instead of being two hours time difference it's three and when i was working in the office in perth you all of a sudden like you'd get back from lunch and you'd be like fuck i've only got an hour to talk to the people in the eastern states why brisbane hates it because they go oh we'll put that meeting in zoom oh what time your time and blah blah blah, blah. Yeah, so now Torbs is working like 9.30 till 7 instead of like 8.30 till 5.30. Because his thing's based in Queensland.

Because it's all based in Brisbane. So he's like working weird hours and it's like it's so weird. You know what would be great in Perth though? What? Having dinner and then going for a swim at the beach at 8.30 or 9 o'clock. I loved it. And because I was still at school. Yeah.

So, it was like an extra few hours I could like walk around with my friends. Yeah, because you're not allowed out after dark. Well, yeah, because you'd be like, oh, it's getting dark. It's getting chilly. Yeah. Like you've got to head home. But you could kind of wander around for a bit longer and like hang out and do stuff. Now, Matt on Reddit has left a comment and I'm going to get you to reply to him on behalf of society.

Oh, okay. Matt on Reddit says, daylight savings is a conspiracy. We don't even actually save any daylight. The government just changes the time and expects us to believe them. But it is daylight. You do save daylight. Where is it? Is it in a jar?

The daylight you don't spend, quote unquote, you get at night time. So where's the savings? Because as you know, if you make extra money and then you spend more, then you're not saving anything. But you save it from the morning and use it at night. That's the whole thing, right? What about that could be a conspiracy? What would the government want with changing the time?

Maybe they're keeping the daylight for themselves. Selling it offshore. Selling it to China. What the fuck would this idiot be thinking that they were doing that time? Unless they're like, oh, we wake up and the government's like, it's 1984. See? Like, we're going to fucking watch everything you do. See?

Like, what the fuck? There's this door in parliament and you go, what's through that door? And you go, you can't go in there, especially without sunglasses. It's all that daylight we've been saving. It's all in there. From the common people. We've been taking their daylight and sealing it for years. And the rich people, they haven't seen night time for decades.

Stealing all this daylight. And that's how, that's why you get a rebate on your solar. Because the government, the government has all the sunlight. And they go, yeah, we'll give you a little bit more because we've got your results. We'll give the peasant 35 cents on the dollar. There you go. We've fucking solved it. Cop that, Matt, on Reddit, you fucking legend.

I've got to love to see it, which is actually based on daylight savings and you being whimsical. Perfect. My high school, Eltham High, no uniform. Yep. Every day in high school, there's this one day of the year

where the jackets and the hoodies and the greys and the blacks of winter are like put away. Oh, yep. And it's not like the first of the month or the first day of the season. It's just like, it's the weather will decide. Yep. Like, oh, it's going to be 28 on Thursday. And you know that everyone's mum said, make sure you wear

short shorts or whatever on Thursday. Yep. And those, the blacks and greys of winter are put away and the shorts and the skirts and the colours and everything just comes back and you go, oh. We're on here. Now, I've told you about this beautiful day, this concept, thousands of times. Yeah. But I feel like Melbourne, the last week, have you felt it? Oh, yeah. A hundred percent.

And obviously, it's been glorious and it's great because summer is obviously the best time of year. It is. I totally agree. And I've always said that and never said it any differently. I'm glad that you agree that summer is better. Best time of year. Sun's out, guns out, colours out, legs, arms, bodies. All of us are wearing grey and white.

Well, I've got a green overshirt, but it's too hot. Yeah. I'm wearing a dress. Oh, showing a little leg. Yeah. Getting my yins out. I saw this meme that goes, gentlemen, don't be fooled by those $3 summer dresses.

It's way more expensive if she gets pregnant. What? That's just what the meme said. A $3 summer dress? Well, because the girl puts on a summer dress and the guy's like, oh. But what? I don't think I've ever bought a dress for $3. You're not sure if it came out then sweetheart i actually do what he's saying is the it's not like don't

get fooled by the summer dress the flowy summer dress okay summer dress yeah don't be fooled by okay um my love to see it is from Jessica McDonald in our Patreon. Yep. Hi, guys. I'm a relatively new tarpa and what a pair of legends you are. Thanks, Jess. Left that in. Yeah, that's all right.

During lockdown. So, I'm wearing a summer dress. Yeah. During lockdown, I developed some issues, didn't we all? Yeah, join the fucking club. One of them is I really struggled to walk my dog in public places. Like, got, like, quite a lot of social anxiety. But, I mean, because she didn't leave the house for that long.

I'm still recovering from being like- I'll never leave the house again. We have to stay inside all the time. Inside is safe. One of my dogs is a little bit psycho and can make walks difficult. And we've had a few run-ins with, like, dogs off the lead. And I've had friends tell me that they're like out at the park and their dog is on the lead and someone's got their dog off the lead and they go don't worry

it's friendly and you go yeah but my dog like isn't yeah and i can't control your dog running over to my like i can control mine that's what the lead's for yeah or people go oh he's off the lead and they have no recall they go he's off the lead and they have no recall. They go, he's off the lead. Oh, Jenny. Oh, he normally comes straight back. Well, he's not right now. Well, he's not now. He's actually attacking my dog.

Anyway, I've recently started listening to your podcast when I'm on my dog walks. And yesterday I went for a dog walk with my two dogs by myself in a public place for the first time in years. I can honestly say that listening to you guys has seriously helped me feel less anxious and panicked on my walks. Is it because of Tony's high-pitched laugh that kind of like calms the dogs? Calms the dogs down they can hear it because it's at such a high register. But I said that I was going to send you some screenshots

and then I didn't. Oh yeah. As pictures of old McDonald's dogs? No. So Jessica actually said, side note, I'm also an artist based in the highlands of Scotland. Art's my side hustle alongside my full-time job. And I was like, okay Jessica actually said, side note, I'm also an artist based in the highlands of Scotland. Art's my side hustle alongside my full-time job. And I was like, okay, Jessica, looking for a plug. Then I looked at her Instagram and I was like, holy cannoli.

Are you sending these over? Yeah. So it's jay__mcdonald__art. I'll get producer Cam to put it in the episode thread today. Has the photo come through? This is, Jessica has drawn that. Drawn it? Yeah, like with her hands.

Well, that's how most people draw. No, but like not with an iPad, not with like pencils. Oh, wow. That's incredible. Oh, my God, the dog. Isn't it so cool? Do you want to get one of Pippa? Well, Jessica was like, oh, if you guys would ever like to get a portrait,

you can send some photos over and stuff. And I was like, no, well, this is your job. It's your job. So I would never, ever expect anything for free. But we'll give you a little plug and also we'll put your Instagram handle in the episode thread and check it out if you've wanted to get a little portrait of your pooch. Have you started thinking about what you're going to get me for Chris Kringle

if you get me? I'm never not thinking about whoever I might potentially get. Yeah. And my follow-up question is, have you used last year's present yet? Because I don't want to get you a drawing of Pippa until you use last year's one. So, I've still got it open. See? Yeah.

I have it open on my laptop. Go book it in before we go to America. The thing is, is that I just, I'm running. So, we're in Auckland this week. Yeah. I'm going to Perth next week. Yep. For work.

And then the week after that is like the week we... Oh, and then it's one week and then the week we go. Yeah. So, just do it then. I'm just getting a bit panicked. I don't think I've got time. So, you don't... So, I gave you a year's notice.

When does it expire? Oh, actually, I already know the answer to that. I think it... It's 11.57 on the 24th of December. The 8th of December. Okay. Must have been the day that we recorded. Have you thought about what you're going to get me?

Yeah. Have you? Yep. Is it good? Or, I mean, have you thought about whoever, what you're going to get, whoever you get? Because it is, obviously, it's luck of the draw. But you can't get yourself. How many car spaces does your new house have?

One. You've already got a car. Yeah. Might have to have a new one. How many permit zones? We got a permit. We do have a permit. Okay.

Well, we have to apply for it and hopefully get it. Imagine if you didn't. I don't think it's a given. I think you just have to apply at the right time. Well, that just means- Should I do that now? There was a- Yes.

Oh, should I? Yeah. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. But what if it gets posted to the house? No, no, no. What you should do- It'll There was a... Yes. Oh, should I? Yeah. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. But what if it gets posted to the house? No, no, no. What you should do... It'll get posted to the house and then the owners currently will go, oh, this is the

house. It's owned by the house. They'll probably sell it to their next door neighbours or something. They've already got one. Crystal and Dave. They're our next door neighbours. They're really nice. They've got two kids.

I've been hanging around there. I'm just driving out to the new house on the weekends. How's everyone going? Are you, though? No. How many times have you driven out there? I actually haven't been back there because it makes me too excited. Right.

I don't think you should do... I think don't get that until you've got the photo with Pippa. That's priority number one. Okay. If that thing elapses, I flew us to Brisbane and bought you a cinema. And you can't even roll in and get a photo done. Okay. There was a $20 limit for the Secret Santas for Pippa and BJ.

Yeah. And Pippa got BJ. Yeah. Which is so cute. Yeah. But she just got him something under the $20 limit, that little toy box, the little toys which he loved. Yeah. And you toys which he loved. Yeah, and you know how he loved it?

You know? Because he actually fucking used it. But the thing is, is that I feel guilty using this pet photography session. No, you don't. Because it's just, it's too extravagant. No. Well, it's money. It's a sunk cost. Accounting term.

MBA student. Do you think that if I contacted Erin King Pet Photography that I could get an extension? No. No, she told me no extensions allowed. She says it on the thing. I think it's actually allowed. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll go and do that before we go. Yeah. Yeah. Because then it needs time for them to develop and edit the best ones and stuff. Yeah. Develop. How do they take photos?

I don't know. What year is it? Yeah, 1994. That's all that daylight saving. Does Kodak still exist? Ask people, 9.94. That's all that daylight saving. Does Kodak still exist? Ask Pitbull, mate. That's a pretty funny niche joke. That's a niche joke.

Anyway. Tomorrow on the show, normal or nah, and can I just... I've brought my own one. Oh, I love this. And it's for fellow parents who- I can relate. Use their baby for things they shouldn't be useful. Like using it as a-

As an excuse or something. No, sort of the opposite. Well, you know how there's that thing that like when the uncle takes the kid to the park, he's like- Oh, to pick up. Yeah. Or whatever. Yeah. Oh, you're putting pictures of you and Mabel on Tinder.

Like, yeah, I'm a really good parent. I'm such a great person. Swipe right. Yeah. But yeah, that's tomorrow on the show. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.