Toni and Ryan - Toni Throwing Cash

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

The best Audio Queen EVER - and I need HELP!!!! I'M IN A PICKLE!!! Love u! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We're calling cloudier. Someone call cloudier. Hello? Oh my God, it's cloudier. Hello. Oh my goodness. How are you? We're Hi, how are you? We're well.

How are you? What are you doing? I just got to my office. I'm a PhD student. I bet you are. You're learning how to have a pretty huge dick. Well, Tony's also a student of PhDs and she's done a lot of discoveries in her time as well. Doing my research, Claudia.

Yeah, of course. What are you, and like seriously, what are you doing your PhD in? Yeah. Yeah, so I work on an international research project for movement behaviours in children under five. Oh, my God. So I am looking at that and how air pollution is involved in those movement behaviours.

Yeah. So obviously we're going to take that to mean that Tony and Ryan is a real brain break for you? Yes, absolutely. I listen to you guys every single day. Not a compliment. Is it Claudia or Claudia? It's Claudia.

Claudia, okay. Claudia, yeah. Claudia, that's not a compliment. I thought we were smart and then people were like, oh, it's good to turn my brain off. And I'm like, well, fucking right. But hang on. No, but that's okay.

Whatever at itch we scratch, that's fine. But, Claudia, would you approve this particular brain break? Absolutely. Yay. Switch off, everyone. Here we go. Hey, it's Claudia from Wollongong, Australia, and I approve this podcast.

All right, coming up today. When did you throw money at a problem? When did being lazy cost you money? When did impatience cost you money? I need to know. I'm so impatient. Yeah, I can't wait 10 minutes for that. I feel like whatever you've done,

when you hear what Tony is considering, you'll feel better. Is that fair to say? If it were a sport, it'd be extreme. If it was a sport, Tony would win a gold medal in it. It's fucking downhill skiing. Like, it's pretty intense. All right. How do you go in big crowds?

Do you get, like, a bit claustrophobic and a bit weird? I do. Some people, not so much. But what are you like? Yeah, I get a bit claustrophobic, especially if people are, like, pushing and shoving. Yes. It just, like, actually really, like, boils my blood.

So last week, Anna Paul, who is an influencer and one of Australia's highest-earning OnlyFans people. You saw this in Perth? Yes. Shout out. Shout out. Western Australia. She had a meet and greet and thousands more people than expected turned up.

It became a security risk. People were jumping barriers. The police were called. There were injuries. The ambulance was there. And they had to cancel the whole thing and shut it down. Oh, my. So I saw this article yesterday.

The photos and the TikToks people were posting from the event. Insane. People flew hours to meet her. She's really like some people there. People were lining up from like midnight the night before. Insane. People flew hours to meet her. She's really like some people there. People were lining up from like midnight the night before. Insane. So let's do Audio Queen. Tony by trade is a sound engineer and can really bring to light,

give life to a story. So what you're about to hear is what's a really bogan suburb in Perth? Like Armadale? Armadale, okay. Because Anna Paul, obviously a lot of thirsty boys wanted to get a photo. Oh. But there are also a lot of young female that see her as, like, very aspirational and a role model.

I mean, like, yeah, she's fucking making heaps of money. She's doing all the cool shit. So here's a very suburban Bogan dad from Armadale who he's just dropped off his daughter at the event. And this is the Bogan Australian dad explaining what Anna Paul does for a living and why his daughter is such a big fan. Like, you know, the TV reporter. I was going to say, am I being interviewed?

Okay. Yes, here on Channel 9 News, this suburban dad explained why his daughter was there. Yeah, just dropped me fucking daughter off. Yeah, she's seeing some bird who's flying in from the Goldie, I think. Well, he actually went to the Goldie for Christmas a couple of years ago, which is pretty good. Anyway, yeah, so I've dropped me daughter off.

She wanted to see this bird. I think she gets her kid off online which is really nice isn't it uh but fuck i don't really understand it to be honest i don't know how you could make money with your phone otherwise i'd be doing it so how does only fans work how does she make her money uh well yeah i don't really get it mate i'll be honest um and if your daughter followed in the footsteps of her idol how would you feel oh mate she's going to put me in a nice retirement home, I feel like that's all right. Yeah, if she's bringing her mates around, I also don't mind.

I feel like what makes that funny is me, like, having my hands on my hips. Yeah, it does add to it. You're right. Suburban Dad, the same guy, he's actually been pretty busy this week. Oh, okay. I don't know if you know this, but we sent him over to the MTV VMA Awards to be Tony and Ryan's red carpet reporter. So he dropped his daughter off and then he went over to the VMAs.

To the States, yeah. Great, good for him. So we're going to cross back to Suburban Dad, who I think has had a few cans on the red carpet. Okay. And you got the. Yes. So first up, and drunk Suburban Dad is going to be explaining the outfit,

Lil Nas X. Okay. Suburban Dad, what's Lil Nas wearing? Oh, lovely young fella there wearing a halo on his head. Looks like he's gotten stuck in the emu cage, mate. Yeah, it's nice. It's not for me, but it's nice. You wouldn't wear that?

Mate, I would. Maybe the miss-o would get amongst that. Wouldn't mind her being topless, if you know what I mean, yeah. If you know what I mean, you just said it. What do you mean, yeah. If you know what I mean, you just said it. Yeah. What do you mean, mate? All right, next we've got our MTV host and rapper, Justine Valentine. Oh, never heard of her, mate.

Oh, red hair. God, wonder if the carpet matches the drapes. Oh, she's wearing a bejeweled number. Those shoes couldn't be comfy, would they, mate? Yeah. Okay. Like the gloves, though. Must be cold in the US.

Next we've got Dylan O'Brien who's from Teen Wolf. And I believe that Suburban Dad recognises the fabric. Well, I've actually seen the original Teen Wolf. Don't think that this person was in it. But is that the carpet from the pub? It looks seen the original Teen Wolf. Don't think that this person was in it. But is that the carpet from the pub down there? It looks like the TAB carpet. Yeah, spewed on that a couple of times.

Not on this lovely mate, but yeah, that's interesting, isn't it? He's wearing a nice singlet under that. I'll wear that to work. And finally, Italian glam rock is Manaskin. Oh, bloody hell. Oh, well, there's four of them. They look nice, don't they? Ohaskin. Oh, bloody hell. Oh, well, there's four of them. They look nice, don't they? Oh, she's got her breasts out. She's covered up her nipples, though, which is a bit of a shame for me.

Oh, I like that cape. He looks like he's from Harry Potter. Yeah, my kids like Harry Potter. Yeah, read all the books to them. I don't remember what happened. Yeah, he's got gloves on as well. It must be bloody cold in the United States at the moment. Do you want to get frostbite?

No, you don't. In Los Angeles. Like those bloody glasses, though. I've got a couple like that where and when I play poker with me mates. Thank you for being a red carpet reporter. Yeah, no worries, mate. This is John O signing out. Oh, I like that character.

Yeah, I don't hate that. Hey, this is Claudia from Wollongong, New South Wales, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Hannah Rideout. Oh, Hannah Ride-in. Jessica Winter. We spoke to Jessica on the phone the other day. We did too.

Yeah, she approved our podcast. Mel East. Mel West. Michael fucking Lemon. Hi East. Mel West. Michael fucking Lemon. Hiya. Izzy. I'm an orange man myself. Laura Laxon.

I'm a grapefruit girl. You know, that story, that like blowjob hack. I've never done it, obviously, because that is a horrible waste of fruit. Oh, yeah. I know the word harrowing gets thrown around a little bit. Yeah, but whew. If they wanted to Google this video, are we allowed to reckon? What would they search for?

I actually don't even know. Grapefruit sex maybe. Grapefruit. Jeez, don't Google that on a work computer. Grapefruit tips. I actually don't know. I've only seen – I don't even know if I've watched the video. Maybe I've only seen a little bit of it on TikTok. Maybe it got reposted to TikTok or something. Anyway,

Laura Laxon, thank you so much. Alex Fairley, John Perkins, Saran Rap, thank you so much. Kaelin Funk, Sonia Blom and Lee Sanford. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Ryan's just obviously figured out what to Google. If you just Google grapefruiting. Grapefruiting. Oh, gosh. And then click on videos. I've got a question, though.

The citrus, wouldn't that sting? Yeah. Because grapefruit especially. Is really tart. And really acidic. Yeah. Like grapefruit in a cocktail, you know about it. Yes.

Yeah, 100%. So I can't imagine that it would be that pleasant. No. No. And, I mean, the sounds would be a bit of a turn off you would have thought. Oh, that's actually, like, made me feel a bit sick. Yeah, it really has. I'm sorry.

Anyway. Sorry about that. Hey, tomorrow on the show, normal or nah, Facebook Marketplace edition. And there's a few things that I was like not just nah but genuinely fucked off about and I think there needs to be laws brought in by Zuckerberg for this thing to stop happening. Genuinely fucked off about something?

That doesn't sound like you. No, but I'm worked up. Okay. That'll be tomorrow. All right. When have you, Ryan, or you listening, when have you thrown money at a problem? Yeah. I think it's pretty relatable, to be honest.

Absolutely. And I'm a very, I'm like quite impatient. I feel like impatience, I'll just spend the money. I want it now. Yeah. Instant gratification. Instant gratification, 100%. Or if you were like, oh, like don't really know how I'm going

to get to this point, I'll be like, just get an Uber. Like take the guesswork out of your day. Like just plan ahead, pay the money. And I've always been like this. This isn't like a recent. I've literally always been like this. Since I've known you and I wonder if anyone listening has this same friend where I'll say, oh, we need to go to this thing to pick up the thing

to do the thing, and Tony will just go, I'll just buy it for you. I'll just get it. Just don't, I just, this sounds like hard work. Just, I'll pay. Even when I'm not the one doing the hard work, I'm like, that sounds like a lot for you to deal with. So how about I take the stress out of my brain that's just been taken on from you. Like I just, I'm just like, let's just make life easier.

Life is too short to fuck around doing annoying shit. Would the simplest example, I only just thought of this, would be spending more for the direct flight rather than, you know, like when you're younger, especially. Mate, I'm not lying over. Yeah. Yeah. But you're like, oh, but're younger especially, they want to like try. Mate, I'm not lying over. Yeah. Yeah. But you're like, oh, but I wanted to go to Europe short on cash, so we get this like cheap flight to Malaysia, then that goes to China, we stay there overnight,

then we fly on China Air to Frankfurt, and then we catch the train down to Paris. I'll just pay for it. I'd spend money I don't have to just fly straight there. Yeah. And this is a great example. So I have had my eye, pardon the pun, on these sunglasses forever. This is one pair of sunglasses.

I've ummed and ahed about it since like April or May. Really? Yeah. Like I really, really like them. And they're going to be like your summer pair? Well, yeah. Like it's past here in Australia. Like summer's coming up.

Get those cool shades. That'll last me a while and they have to because they're a bit more on the expensive side. I see. And I actually really like them because they're the pair that Travis Barker wears. Oh, my God. Well, first of all, that doesn't surprise me because you love

Travis Barker. Second of all, I'm guessing after I watched Travis Barker's Architectural Digest. Architectural Digest. Architectural Digest. I told you that was good. I've watched that about three times. I would assume that anything he's wearing isn't cheap. Is that a fair statement?

So these particular sunglasses are like around $500. Are you fucking kidding me? You can get two for $20 at Cotton On. Well, I can't because I wear prescription glasses. They don't do that at Cotton On? No. So this is the hard thing, right? I would buy the cheap knockoff version, but you can't get like a script put in.

And then it's like if you're going to the hassle of getting the script, you're like, well, I might as well get a good pair. Because you're like, well, if I have to pay for the script anyway, I want them to last and these glasses will last a long time. I mean, Travis Barker ain't doing one-wear pairs. He's buying something quality. Thank you. Yeah, I agree.

Anyway, so I found them online a few places because I was like, how cheap can I get these? As you know, I like to research before I buy. But no places could I like put in my script and then like get them done. Anyway, so I ended up finding them in stock online at OPSM, so, like, an actual legit, like, glasses place. Optometrist, I think they're called. Yep, technically term.

And I was like, fuck yeah, because I've got private health insurance and I get, like – You're paying that monthly premium. Exactly. Use it. So I get, like, $200 to spend on glasses a year. I haven't bought any this year, so I was like, great. Great.

That'll take a bit of cash off. Cost you money not to buy it. Exactly right. I'm saving money. So I go in there any this year. So I was like, hey, that'll take a bit of cash. Cost you money not to buy it. Exactly right. I'm saving money. So I go in there on Sunday afternoon. Yep. As soon as we walk in, this girl's like, hey, how are you going? Do you need any help?

And I was like, oh, I'm after these certain glasses. And I told her like the model number or whatever. And she. Did she also know that that was Travis Barker? Well, she goes, oh, these are so popular. I reckon I've sold 300 pairs of these. Obviously a hyperbole. That's just, you know, what they say.

And I was like, oh, great. And she showed me over. She's like, can I help you at the moment? And I was like, oh, I just want to try them on and have a look and stuff. And she goes, oh, but letting, because so obviously I was wearing glasses and she goes, I just want to let you on and have a look and stuff. And she goes, oh, but letting, because obviously I was wearing glasses and she goes, I just want to let you know about like a special on complete pairs. You like save money, save $100 if you buy like the lenses

and the glasses. Great. And I was like, oh, it's meant to be. $100 off. I've got the health insurance coming in. This girl knows what I'm talking about. Travis Barker's wearing them. Here I come. I am ready to go. Here we go. Anyway, got the health insurance coming in. This girl knows what I'm talking about. Travis Barker's wearing them. Here I come.

I am ready to go. Here we go. Anyway, so she has told me this. So she knows I want to get them prescription. She comes over again and she's like, do you need any help? Do you want me to tell you anything about them? And I was like, let me just agonise over it for another minute because I just want to look at them, make sure they're right

because they are expensive. I don't know if you know me. I'm Tony. I spend hours and hours and months and months research. I'm not going to come in here. And just make a snap decision. So I'm standing there. I've got the glasses on.

I took a few photos, sent them to my best friends, Jack and Lane. I'm like, do you like these glasses? Do they have to sign off on any purchase over $200? Yes, they do. They've got my card details. They're like, okay, Tony, you can have the pin number. Anyway, and then it got really busy. And I'm like, cool, I, you can have the pin number. Anyway, and then it got really busy and I'm like, cool, I'm going to get the glasses.

I'm going to do it. I really like them. I've been thinking about it for ages. Then it got really fucking busy and we'd been waiting there probably all in all for we'd been in the shop for about 45 minutes. In the one? Yeah, because I looked at them. That's a long time to be in a small store.

Yeah, because I looked at them for a bit. Then she asked me for help, whatever. Anyway, I was like, she ends up coming over and I'm like, yep, I'm going to get the glasses. And she goes, great. And I was like, and I've got my script with me. And she was like, oh, amazing. Anyway, I hand her the script and she goes, this is expired.

What? They, like, expire after a year. And it was like. What do you mean they expire? Like your script only lasts a year. But do your eyes, like. Well, because your eyes change. How much would they change?

Well, I know. Surely whatever they said, oh, Tony, you're short-sighted or whatever. Great. She was like. Put the lens in. Yeah, but she was like, no, we can, but we can't do anything if it's wrong. And we don't recommend that you do it. And I was like, oh, okay.

Like, do you have an appointment with the optometrist? Yeah. And she goes, someone's just cancelled for in 10 minutes. And I was like. It was meant to be. Okay, great. So by this time, it's been an hour. Of course, the optometrist is running late.

So that's another 15 minutes. Then the actual eye test takes fucking half an hour. So time is fucking adding up. You've rolled in to just check out a pair of sunnies and an hour and a half later, you're still in there. Yeah. So then I get out of the optometrist, it's still out of the private room. It's still pretty busy. So I'm waiting for her to come back over and finalize my sale or whatever. She comes over, she measures everything up. You know when you put the glasses on and they like put the marks

on the front to like measure up where your pupils sit or whatever? You don't have prescription glasses. As a person who can see. So it's all this admin. It's like such a fucking pain in the ass. Tony doesn't like admin. I fucking hate it and I'm sitting there and I'm looking at Torbs. I'm like, I'm so sorry, this is taking so long.

He's like, bro, don't sorry. This is taking so long. He's like, bro, don't stress. Like, it's all good. We've got time. So fucking like two hours goes past and then she goes to put it in the computer for me to pay. And she goes, oh, my God. We can't put a prescription lens in these glasses. What?

She'd sold like 300 pairs. Yeah. Travis Barker has them. I know. She's just measured you up. Yep. She's sold like 300 pairs. Yeah. Travis Barker has them. I know. She's just measured you up. Yep. She's sold you for two hours. Two fucking hours.

Did she consider that two hours ago? I would have fucking loved it. Did you lose it? I was just like, oh. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And I was like, well, like, it's not your fault. But it was kind of your fault. Like, you should have known. Well, it's not your fault.

Like, you should have known that. It's fine that it's not possible. But email that it's kind of your fault. Well, it's not your fault. It's literally your fault. You should have known that. It's fine that it's not possible, but email that to me two hours ago and I wouldn't have wasted my time, your time, your time. God's sake, Torbs is just standing out there like the most patient boyfriend ever for no result. We're holding all of our eco bags because we still had to do our food shopping. You know what I mean? It's a really tragic story.

He could have done the food shopping three times by now. Could he just go to him? I did say that to him. I said, why don't you go and do the shopping and then come back and then by that time I'll be done. And he was like, no mate. I love that he thought he was doing you a favour by waiting. Because then we still had another hour and a half

of like stuff to go and do because we had to go and do the fucking food shop and go to the butcher. And he just stood there like a fucking asshole. Yeah, he just stood there. Anyway, this story's not about Torbs. I think it is. I think the villain is not the girl from OBSM. It is Torbs. Okay.

Anyway, so she goes, oh, I'll just go check with, like, Bob, who also fucking works here. And I was like, oh, okay. And at this point I'm, like, trying to hold it together, but I'm fucking impatient. I'm not happy. And I turn to Torbs and go, you know what? I think I'm just going to get laser eye surgery.

Two hours in a retail store will do that to a person. I'd rather get lasers in my eyeballs. Than sit here and have a bit of an accident. Like I actually just. I don't know how thoroughly you'd researched it, but considering you're going to spend $200 on glasses after the discounts and stuff, how much more money was it? So while she was over talking to Bob, I started Googling it.

I'm like in OPSM. I'm like, fuck this. I'm like starting to Google it. Well, I said it to Toz, but she probably didn't hear me. We mentioned alpha dog energy last week. Oh, no, I would never do that in a shot. Oh, I might just check out laser eye surgery actually. Don't worry about it.

Fuck, they would have hated that. I didn't do that. But so I did actually look into it because I've actually thought about laser eye surgery in the past and this for me is just like tipping me over the edge because I'm like I really want these fucking glasses. I could have gone in there and gone, here's my fucking $500 and then fucking walked out. Yeah.

So before I said when have you thrown money at a problem, you didn't want to wait another 10 or 15 minutes so were prepared to spend? $6,000. But it's all that burnt time. Imagine what i could have done with that two hours i could have learned a language i could have i could have someone has that duolingo app in their phone for years and does not speak any other languages don't you fucking dare but i could that's when i could have started i could have started training for the mel Marathon. Do you know, there's all these things I could have done with that time.

There's all those things I could have done with that time. So instead of waiting 15 minutes for Bob, you're spending six or seven grand. Well, so I haven't booked in for the laser eye surgery yet, right? Has Travis Barker had eye surgery? Which shot did he get? I think that he's just got naturally good eyeballs. Yeah, lucky him. Of course he does.

He's so perfect. Do you know what I mean? Of course you can see. He's got a G right now. He's got everything. He's got a Kardashian. Yes. So how does this end?

Okay. So do you walk out of the store and just like empty handed like an idiot? Are they apologetic? Does Bob come back with a solution? Well, so she comes back. She's spoken to Bob. She comes back and she goes, look, depending on what technician is in on the day that they take your script, some of them will do it

and some of them won't. And I was like, so I'm putting, you know, the fate in the hands of depending on what fucking technician it is. You're, the fate in the hands of, depending on what fucking technician it is. You're putting your fate in the hands of their roster? Yeah. Like, oh, like fucking Kylie's called in sick, so Mel's in today. Did Mel do it? And Mel says no.

Then like fucking Kylie, come back into work, please. What day is Kylie in? She's in on Thursdays. Great. I'll see you on Thursday. Send it on Thursday. What do you mean some do and some don't? Well, she was like some will try it and some won't.

I don't understand. It sounds like a fucking cowboy world optometry to me, doesn't it? It's the wild west out there. That's what I meant. It's cowboy world. It's fucking cowboy world. That's what I meant, obviously. It's the wild west. So she comes back and she's like, look, it is the wild

west cowboy world over here. Who knows what person's going to pick up the job and do it. Some of them might do it. Some of them won't. But what we'll do is I'll get you to pay for the frames today and we'll send it off and just like hope that they do it. If they choose not to, you'll get a full refund. Or if they do it and you don't like the way that it looks because they obviously will like change the frames a little bit. She's like, and if you don't like how it looks, that's also fine.

We will fully refund you. So I was like, okay. So at the moment what I'm thinking is what I should do is if the frames come back and they're like we couldn't do it, I'll get the eye surgery. Fate really is in their hands. Yes. What day are you doing it?

Is Kylie in? Kylie does laser eye surgery. That's why she called in six. She's got two jobs. She's got two jobs. So you're saying if the glasses look good, then you'll live with them. And if they don't, you go on under the knife. I know it's not under the knife, but like under the knife.

What do you think? Because, okay, can I plead my case a little bit? Please. Pleads. So I wear glasses, obviously. It's a fucking pain in the ass. They get dirty. They're just annoying.

I get headaches all the time because, like, I'm fucking wearing glasses. But then also our logo has me wearing glasses. Freshly created logo. Can I put it on the record? Please. No, this is a safe space. This is not Cowboy World.

It's not the Wild Wild West. This is significantly east. This is un-Cowboy World. Tame east, not Wild West. I like that. Can we make that a joke in the podcast? This is the tame east. But would it then be the tame, tame east because it's the Wild Wild West?

The tame, lame east. The lame, tame east. You have raised this with me. Yeah. And I've said, as someone who can see, I can't fathom not being able to see. Yeah. So who the fuck cares about a logo? Oh, my God.

That's actually very supportive. Also. Yeah. That I did say, though. Yeah. You do look hot in glasses. Oh, see. Okay.

Close your eyes. Oh, this is what you can see. All right. open them. You look like a different person. Yeah, I do. I don't know who I'm talking to. You look like Tony's sister. I've just taken my glasses off.

Oh, yeah, Tony's taking his glasses off. You look like your sister. You've never seen my sister. And they both wear glasses. If you walked in, I'd have been like, oh. I think I know you, but nice to meet you. You look similar to Tony. Yeah.

But, I mean, I'd get used to it. You fucking do look so different, though. Yeah. It's not worse. You just look different. It's not worse? No, but it's not like. I've just drastically changed my appearance.

How do you feel about that? Well, it's not worse. It's not worse. I just mean it's different is what I'm saying. It's not better or worse. It's just you look different. Yeah, I can't see. Can you see the face I'm pulling right now?

Yeah, that you are holding the finger up at me. Do you really need glasses or not? It's a ruse. Well, it's up to Kylie, really. It's all the sounds and things. So if the glasses come back. Yeah. People, give Tony a hot recommendation.

I'd actually love to know what people think. Yeah. Because I don't want to ruin my personal brand. All righto, mate. Someone who claims to not love LinkedIn is suddenly talking about personal brands. Oh, mate. I saw a work. This thing came up on LinkedIn.

It was like, oh, join our two-hour workshop to work on your personal brand. If you said to me, we need to work on our personal brands, I'd throw up. I hope that you do. And this is the Lame Time East. That's how I'd feel about that. I'd expect you to. I'd expect you to.

So what I'm saying is the personal brand, personal shmand, you just get your eyes taken care of. Do you reckon? Yeah. Well, should we let fate decide? Also. See what happens with the Prada Sunny. I got those logos done on Fiverr for about 26 bucks

oh so we could get my glasses taken all the Frank Green water bottles they really will be the champion taffers will decide they've paid money for the Frank I take back everything I've said maybe they've paid money for the Frank Green water bottles they without their approval you are not allowed to change your personal brand because they've bought a bottle with your face on it. No. Okay, what about this, though? It makes them even more one of a kind. We'll never make them again.

Collector's item. Because I won't wear glasses anymore. There's a moment in time. It'll be like when your parents say to you, like, oh, back in the day they used to blah, blah, blah. You'll be using your front green water bottle. Tony used to have glasses. Your great-grandkids are going to be like, wow,

is that Tony Lodge and Ryan John? They'll be like, yeah, she used to have bottle. Tony used to have glasses. Your great-grandkids are going to be like, wow, is that Tony Lodge and Ryan John? They'll be like, yeah, she used to have glasses and Ryan used to have hair. I assume you'll be bald by then. Don't put that spell on me. What is this, cowboy girls? My birth father is bald and I didn't like it when I found that out. No, you've got a thick head of hair.

I think you got your hair from your mum. She's got thick hair too, on her head. Um, next week we're going to hear what you, the Tarpers, threw money at to solve a problem. Because Tony's about to throw away six grand for waiting ten minutes in a no-peer stand. Okay, it was over two hours. And I could have done anything with that time.

Could have started volunteering. I could have... Spoken Spanish, apparently. Yep. That's one of the wildest things you've ever said. Nah, but I just could have started that dream, you know? Yeah, sure. But yeah, I've got some amazing fucking comments.

I can't wait to read them out next week. Things you love to see. Last week I said that when some people find God, I found Young Gravy. Oh, yep. Beautiful, beautiful words. Young Gravy took Addison Rae's mum to the MTV VMAs. Oh, my God. You know how I was saying there's a bit of a brouhaha?

With his dad, like Addison Rae's dad and Young Gravy? Yeah. So he just rolls up on a red carpet with his ex-wife. Talk about alpha dog energy. And he's also, there's sort of a running gag that he's like, mums love him as well as the young kids, and he'll like take your mum out and treat her, right? And so then he rocks, and Addison Rae,

one of the most famous people online, rocks up with her mum to the red carpet. She was looking a little bit there. Oh, the mum or Addison Rae? Oh, I didn't say Addison Rae there. Oh. The mum to the red carpet. She was looking a little bit too. Oh, the mum or Addison Rae? Oh, I didn't say Addison Rae there. The mum. Oh, okay. Young gravy.

Get it, son. How about we leave pop culture to, you know, Shameless or something? Doesn't really suit us, does it? Because I'm like, hang on. So is that the mum or is that the daughter? It does help talking about pop culture if either of us know what the fuck we're talking about. And this is about to take a turn because my love to see it is sport related.

What? Do we need to call Jono, suburban Jono, before? Maybe. So over the weekend, Emma Stark, she's 16. She became the youngest ever elite level umpire. She's 16 years old. Look at this action shot of Emma from the game on the weekend. Yeah, that was the Hawthorne-Eston game.

Honestly. That I was watching intently. She was incredible. And 16 years old. Oh, and also the like world of chaos you're opening yourself up to becoming an AFL umpire. They get fucking, they would have, they get a rough go at it. Yeah, absolutely.

I talked about that game last week in my I Love To See It. 16,000 people turned out for the first Hawthorne. You fucking love to see that. You love to see that. But, yeah, good on you, Emma. I've got another I Love To See It. Oh, my God. But it's the same game.

Okay. The Hawket mascot, which is the female mascot for the Hawthorne women's football team, is a tarpa. Really? Yeah. She goes, I heard you talking about the game. I'm going to be there. And she sends me a DM.

I was like, oh, great. She's like, I'm working. I was like, what are you doing? She goes, I'm the mascot. That's so cool. Oh, my God. We should come up with like a secret symbol for the hawkette to like do so that we know that it's a tarpa.

If it's anything more than just flapping her wings, it might be difficult. Oh, okay. Maybe we could get her to do like a foot shuffle or something. All right, when you see me, I'll do the Macarena and then you do it back. And she's just wearing her big arms like this. I can't do anything.

Well, if you see an AFL mascot at a Hawks game, there's a tarp under there. Oh. One of us. A tarp under the hood. A tarp in the wild. They're fucking everywhere. All right. We'll chat to you guys tomorrow.

Love you. Bye.