Toni and Ryan - Toni vs the US Health Care System

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

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acast.com. After we've been in the hospital, it all happened so fast. All of a sudden, I was on the ground. My glasses flew off. My ring? I don't know where it is. I hope that you have it. I haven't seen it either. We should figure that out.

I haven't seen it. I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate until we've located your ring. Hi, my name is Kirsten, from Austin, Texas. Hi, I'm Chris I'm Chris Abraham, Wood's from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Hi, guys. It's Katie from Perth, Australia. I approve this podcast. Welcome to part two of Tony broke her foot overseas And still isn't wearing a bra

Yeah, we're currently in Los Angeles We've just kicked straight on from the... Don't say kicked on. We've just walked... It's very inappropriate. We've just hands stood on to the next part episode from yesterday. We've just fallen into the second half. Tony's bedroom has stairs in it.

In this house, yeah. So within her room, you go into her room and there's like a little landing and then you go upstairs to the actual bed bit. It's like a loft bed room. Like it's, that's kind of,

because there's up the top part, there's no room for anything else. There's not like a wardrobe up there and anything. It's literally just the bed. And so after we'd been in the hospital and, you know, they took the target bag of ice away from me.

I, um, we like hopped in the car and I'm, I'm so fucked because obviously I'm like, trying to learn how to use crutches but also like the rest of my body is sore from like falling and also just from like being in pain I'm just like a bit exhausted

because obviously your foot hits first and breaks but then the rest of your person kind of like tumbled off well you joked about like you ate shit but like give me a like a your whole person hits the deck I know that this is one of those things people say but like it all happens so fast

that all of a sudden I was on the ground and I was like am I okay Like, you know how you kind of start being like, oh, like, where am I sore? And my glasses flew off. And immediately I was like, fuck, I hope my glasses aren't broken because they don't have another pair. Shit. And do you have another pair of foot? They're fine.

No. Well, just the other one. The other hoof. Which is still dancing, you know. That foot and ankle and calf is going to be jacked because six weeks in that thing. Oh, and six weeks on crutches. Well, maybe not crutches the whole time. but um but um but anyway so like charles pulls the car fucking bless him

charles pulls the car around lily helps me in the car and like takes my crutches off me like i'm just such a little like i'm clinking and clanking all my stuff and then i get in the car and i'm like oh i just want to go to bed like i just want to lie in bed and then i was like i'm literally not even going to be able to get into my bed i'm like am i going to have to crawl up the stairs or like but that was the first of the first i'm like but that was the first thing that I thought and immediately Lily was like Ryan already thought about it he's put all the sheets in the wash and he's moved all your stuff into the other room because the room that you're in is the only room that doesn't have stairs stairs to the bed or a really high up

bed frame yeah um yeah Charles's bed is like yeah you wouldn't be able to climb up into it and then it sounds like a kid's bunk bed but it's just a regular bed yeah and also um the bath like you have to walk down into the bathroom like that the level that lily and i on and you also have to step into the bath to have a shower yeah and i wouldn't be able to do that at the moment so and your bathroom's the only one that doesn't have that yeah so we've switched i which is so sweet of you thank you i've cleaned both our sheets i've done all the towers i've set it up i've moved all my stuff down and then i was like i'm gonna move your stuff i'm just trying to think about what's in there yeah But I just had this moment of like, I'm doing you a favour, but I feel like this is something

that you almost, it's like, I don't know if asking consent is the right word, but like, I was like, oh, like, okay, let me, let me just explain this the other way around. If something happened to me and you're like, I'll just go and get all your stuff out of your room, I'd be like, well, let me tell you what not to touch. Don't sit over there. Don't sit on that seat. I mean, I haven't. Don't look at that.

And don't put you your personal. and anywhere any of those things. I think though that if something happened to you and I need to move all your stuff, I wouldn't feel weird about it because I'm like, well, I'm not going through your stuff. I'm just grabbing it and moving it so it's easier for you. And when Lily said to me, Ryan's moved all your stuff,

I wasn't like, oh my God, what a creep. I was like, oh, thank God, because how good. So you're making me a bit nervous because I'm like, what was in there? No, there wasn't anything. Did you steal my ring? I don't have it on. I don't know where it is. I hope that you have it.

Where did you leave it? In the bathroom. It might still be there. I haven't seen it either. We should figure that out. But I feel like I cleaned out the bathroom and I haven't seen it. Was it in a bag in the bathroom? It's like on the bench.

Maybe in my toilet bag? Yeah. I just move your toilet bag. Yeah. No, that's right. I did move a few tissue. And then I just sold a few things on Facebook marketplace. But I was just like, there was nothing debauchress.

I was like, but like, I didn't know that. And it's also like your room and fucking. No, totally. No, I appreciate the respect. Yeah, great, great. Because I, if the other way around, like, just don't go in there. Oh, no, you would be fine if I had to clean your stuff. Take a few bodies out.

You'd be fine, I reckon. Yeah. And I would do it for you. I wouldn't even think about it. I know, I know. So. I think, I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate until we've located your ring. Because I did not see it and I've cleaned everything.

It must be. in there. Well, it's got to be someplace. Yeah. Does it have a, has Charles attached like an Apple find a thing to it? No, no. I'm pretty sure it's just in my toilet back. Find my ring.

Do you want me to go check? I mean, I haven't been to my new room yet, so I don't even know where it would be in there. It must be in there. I'm not going. Welcome to Ryan and Lily going to find Tony's engagement ring. Oh, the washing's done as well So I've stripped the bed And this is where Tony will be sleeping

Because it's not up any stairs Now do you reckon the wedding ring is in this thing? No, no, no, no, no. In her toilet tree So it's not in there? No. I think Tony's bath.

That used to be my bath. So it's my bathroom here. This is her toilet tree's bag. This is Oh yeah. We've got it! We've got the diamond. Shall we take it to her?

Thank you, Lily. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-ha. How you found it? Da-na-na-na-da-da-da-na-na-na. Thank you. Nah-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Perfect. I feel complaint now.

Hi, my name is Kirsten from Austin, Texas. Hi, this is Chris April Howard's from Calgary, Alberta. Hi, guys, it's Katie from Perth, Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood, the latest Romantic series from Sarah J. Maas and Devney Perry.

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good news, as you've seen, we have located Tony's ring. In bad news, as I just sat down, I accidentally bumped Tony's foot. I don't really fucking hurt. Which is broken. It is broken. Thank you so much for reminding everybody because I feel like they've forgotten. No one's said that they love me recently. No one's talking about.

You've shown me, but you haven't said it. I love you. I love you too. I love you too. You're lashing out. I feel a bit sooky. Yeah. And I think I'm allowed for a bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So true. Um, let me just read out a normal or nah, because it's sort of, um... Hang on, we got Champion Tarpers first. Oh, that's why I got my phone.

Not to just film your ring. Not a euphemism. Um, I got a text from Bridget. Aw. What'd she say? Oh, I've got a text from Charles with those x-rays. Um, Tony Lodge. Let's do some Champion Tapa shoutouts.

Katie Smith. Can I just say that rhyme is like, hey mate. How about I do the names? Because I'll just take, I'll take the pressure off you. I should have just done it. I should have just done it. I should have just done it. How offensive.

Good on you, Katie. Max, thank you. Joanne, Lou, Mariah LaMatina. That is not close. Mariah Lamantia. Sorry, Mariah. I don't know if it's Mariah. Fiona T.

Katie B. Shelby Jamshild Carlos Morabito and Northern Sof I reckon you're right on Mariah Lamantia Nice Thank you

Good job I love you And I care for you And sympathy you So what was the thing that you felt Oh sorry We're doing the normal or nah Are we doing what you found

In my bed first Or whatever it was You never told me what was Oh no It was like Just all of the personal items and going through... There's not anything weird in there, eh?

No, but you just feel like... Yeah. Like going through someone else's bag. I reckon the weirdest thing that you would have found is that all that stuff was in my bed. Like, all my... Nintendo Switch, there's some drugs and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

Medication. Yeah, like ibuprofen and stuff because I have had a cold. So there's all that stuff in my bed so that I could like rest in bed. So I just like, for you to know that I don't normally have a chemist and a job. be high-fi in my bed.

I always do anyway, so I wouldn't judge you. So, all good. Just one normal or nah. Yeah. We're in like this big main lounge room, which is where we've all been hanging out for most of the week. Yeah. Where Lily and Tony's bedrooms have been, there's also like this secondary lounge.

Yeah. Which is kind of interesting looking. And it has a ping pong table. Ping pong table. It's got like just a bed in the middle of the lounge. It's very strange. One of the creepier like bird aviaries. Did you guys finally look at our Avery?

Well, I did because I had, when I was going in and out of your room today, that's when I first saw it all. But my normal or nah, up until this moment, and I had written this down previously, feeling sheepish walking past a room that you've neglected. So because I haven't, I haven't been in that lounge room all week. Every time I, like, walk past, because I have to walk past it to, like, leave the house, I kind of like, I feel how guilty. As in because you haven't spent time there. Yeah.

And it's a person. perfectly good lounge and I just think the lounge would be like what's wrong with me you know like you guys are having so much fun upstairs and I'm a perfectly good lounge and it is it's the same look is ever since Mabel has been born my dog has been getting slightly less walks yeah and so if I've had a big full day with Mabes and then Bron has only had like a bit of a play outside but not like a full and he'll just look at me and I'm like look at me wrong because it's not going to happen and I just, not today. And I feel sheepish.

The same feeling I've been experiencing walking past that room. And so I don't know if other people have like a weird spare room or this other area of the house and they're like, oh, I'm sorry, but I feel bad. Yeah. Mine is in our laundry at home. If someone stays over and we like make up the air mattress or whatever, I like pull all those sheets off because you've got to like put the bed down and whatever and they just go in the laundry because we don't have people.

stay over that often. I'm like, well, I don't need to do those sheets yet. Yeah. And so they just sit there on the bench and I go, oh, no one's coming. Like, I don't need to, I don't need to wash you yet. But then, and like I said, I'd written that down for a normal or now today. Yeah. And then with what's happened with the foot.

Yeah. I went past to do this room switching and it was as if the room was like, oh. Oh, so now you're interested. Now you want to see my bird, Avery. Yeah. Yeah. Come and check out me little tweety. How am I going to know if you left anything behind in my room?

I did. Do you know what I mean? Don't sit in that seat if you don't want to have children. Fuck it out. I've actually had to swear that I'm not pregnant today to have an X-ray. Really? Yeah. Well, because you can obviously can lead to complications if you're pregnant and you have an X-ray.

So you have to like, and you have to sign something that's like, and if I am pregnant, like, you're not liable. Like, it's my fault. that's pretty like it's crazy yeah yeah and they like make it and I was like yeah I've got an IED

like it's fine and they were just like but like just so you know and obviously you know like every second billboard in America is like lawyer up so that would probably

you know it's probably happened before where people didn't know that they were pregnant yet or whatever yeah but what I was going to say no is if you've left

anything of mine in the room down there and I'll just never know because I can't go in there because I can't get up the stairs I think I did a pretty good job A thorough sweep. A thorough sweep.

Yeah. I did see the, is it like a Nintendo Switch? Yeah. I was like maybe she could leave that behind. Oh yeah. But you play that pretty often, yeah? I actually haven't played it since we've been away. Purely just because I haven't really had the time.

You might have a bit of time in the next six weeks though, I reckon. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Might be a long flight coming up as well. Let me tell you about my experience with the American healthcare system. I'd love to hear it.

When I was at... Oh. Lindenwood University, where I went to college, playing volleyball. I don't know if I've mentioned that before. I don't know if I've mentioned that before. What? I can't believe you didn't tell the border patrollers when they pulled us over the other day. Be like, well, I actually used to live here.

Yeah, I used to live here, bud. Cops Hall is where I lived. And I love to party at Missou. Second biggest party school in Australia in the country. So did you learn how to... strap your wrists professionally at the University of Lindenwood? No. I mean,

I'm in, like, I'm pretty sore. So I dive for a volleyball and when I, like, threw my arm out, I, like, dislocated my arm in the air.

And then I, and then I landed on it and, like, on the volleyball? No, on my shoulder again. Oh, that's worse.

And, like, really, like, it was like a really bad dislocation. And I had to go to hospital to, like, get it put back in and they so when it dislocates yeah that's is that a break as well or not necessarily but mine did break oh right but it's like the ball and socket it comes out of the socket yeah and so i went they had to go to a hospital to for them to put it back in fuck um but because i am a foreigner

they were like unless there's some paperwork that they can see that you can pay they're not going to let you in the hospital exactly so i was like in the ambulance and i'm like oh my already in the ambulance. It's all good night. No, the ambulance will drop you at the door and just, and the hospital will just leave you out the front. Yeah. Um, so my team manager or an assistant coach or someone runs up, uh, into the office,

flicks through the filing cabinet, pulls my thing out and stapled it to my t-shirt. Because he's like, I don't want you, if I give it to you, like you're in pain, you're going to put it somewhere off. He's like, Kachchoo. Hey, mate, I'm sorry, but I'm going to need you to ask to be real fucking careful with that hand because you're telling a lot of stories and I love it, but you're might. close. I'm sorry. No, you're not. No, don't be sorry. I just thought.

I am so close to your foot. I don't need this right now. That's what I just thought. Are you saying that your broken foot is more delicate than my perfect storytelling? And I, you know, I didn't interrupt. For those of you who are listening to the pod and not watching on YouTube, Tony has, as, uh... I've got a full recline on here. But over the last few minutes, it's just really... I don't get enough anymore.

show goes for another four minutes, she will be perfectly horizontal. I might start going backwards. I am getting too close to your foot. You're getting fucking comfortable, mate. Yeah, well,

anyway, the story is they stapled my health insurance and fucking travel insurance to my shirt. That's insane. Which wasn't mine, by the way. It was Polish,

like Polish national team shirt because we used to like swap jerseys for fucking something to do. They had to cut the shirt off to, and like they fucked up his thing. So sorry about that Bart, but he's a fucking good, good dude and he understood.

And then as though, It would feel awful. Yeah, and I've probably told this before, but as they were putting my shoulder back in, because, like, it's excrued, like, you scream. There's, anyone who's dislocated a body part probably understands the stupidity of this thought, but everyone probably thinks, oh, maybe I'll just leave it out. Oh. Because the pain of getting it back in, obviously, you're not just going to spend the rest of

your life with your fucking, dangling down. But there's always a, but you like, just leave it. There's a split second where the pain of getting, you just go, oh, I just, um, so anyway, I'm screaming my fucking head off Like a pansy And like squealing And in the bed next to me Like the distance between us

Yeah This lady was In her late 80s, early 90s And it was her final moments Oh You have told me that before And next to her were her two children Her two children's like husband and wife

And her six grandchildren And they were like Grandma, I love these. much yeah and I'll never forget your cuddles and thank you so much and the partners are like you've raised this beautiful daughter and now she's my wife and I just will be ever grateful that you raise this great human being um is there anything you want and they all they can hear is oh my god that's why they need private rooms you know oh student wages man oh yeah so true

and by student wages i mean zero zero zero dollar yeah so um just shout out to that family i apologize later to the one of them because it goes back in it's the ultimate relief yeah and then i you kind of like come back to earth does it like not hurt anymore when it gets put back in there's it there's this it's actually sorry if that sounds hell stupid no it's it's almost like euphoric for a little bit because it the relief and you were so full of adrenaline and then it's like the come down later on then it's like the the dull thick pain because so much is stretched and moved but in that moment it's like yeah oh fuck And so in that moment, I was sort of like, hey, man, I'm really sorry about it before.

And he's like, oh, you're really going through a bad luck. It's not your fault. Oh, and they would understand. They understood it. I was like, yeah. That was a pretty nice moment. That wasn't that nice anymore. Yeah, but then do it in a hospice.

Not in the AD. That's their fault. It is their fault. Yeah. Fuck you, Eunice. Oh, the eagle again. Oh my God. You finally seen it.

It's huge. What? Look out straight behind you, like backwards. I was at the middle window. Oh, it's going down the hill. It's going down. Oh, it's curving back around. back around it's a

it's a sign I think it is anyway let's do what you love to see oh you be kev with the fucking arm mate I'm so sorry hang on where's my phone because I want to show you a video that will make your day

okay well probably won't yeah I mean a bit of a rough one when you start this low I mean but I think you'll just appreciate it because we've been travelling and had our own issues with our customs and whatnot

oh no oh just wait for my fucking phone to load. All right. Oh, I've got one and you'll like this. This is sweet. Sweet.

From Sarah Duffy, sent this to me on Patreon. And it's a nice compliment for Ryan, which I think is lovely. Hi, Tony and Ryan. I'm a social worker in Indiana, USA and I'm always looking for ways to make kids and teachers' lives

a little brighter. Because you go, I'm talking to all these different people all the time. Like, what's a way that I can, you know, add a bit of joy? When I saw Ryan's more spaghetti, less upsetting t-shirt, I knew I needed it in my life.

So for anybody that, Maybe he doesn't recall. Ryan has this hot pink t-shirt and it's got like a cartoon cat on it. And it says more spaghetti, less upsetting. Anytime there's an animal on my clothes, Mabel loves it. So my fashion goals at the moment are, well,

my daughter think this is funny. Will she like it? Yeah. And she likes cats spaghetti. So cute. Sarah says, our school year hasn't begun yet, but I wore the shirt today to take my nieces out for an adventure

and had like a family game night after. Every single person at the game night has decided they also want this shirt and absolutely love it not only did it make me smile but you also gave many laughs to my family thanks from sarah oh well thanks to the people who made it and thanks to those words for rhyming isn't that so sweet but thank you for sharing that that is very nice i love that um i found this video we'll pop it on the screen so everyone can watch it um and listen but uh tony love remove watches and jewelry shirts off belt still on trousers down step into the Assume the craft position

I'm empty any big electricals put them in the train not that train get another tray That's not a big electrical that's a medium-sized electrical put it in your bag And I said to him you can leave it but I'm gonna have to be so you could have parked it next door Whoa whoa keep your shoes on it's an airport not a bouncy castle down it down it down it like we make sure all your liquids are in a plastic bag or our multi-million pound x-ray machine where we have to see it great choice of book I've read it myself going through the airport the airport the other day Lily had her water bottle and the guy goes is there liquid in this and Lily goes

water and he goes oh so liquid like fully like yeah that is Dave Durkin by the way doing that skit which is very good I'm so close to your foot and I'm so paranoid I've come too far down actually it is you because you're I've slid down but thank you so much for watching this week I don't know where or how or if we will be next week find out Monday We'll post on Instagram and let you know. Yeah. Sorry everyone. Don't apologize.

No apologino is required. Just the fact you sidestep death is just a modern miracle of life. And I'm glad that whilst you're going to be in this for six weeks, your spirits are high. And I'm glad that everything's going to work out. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Took good, very good care of me. Thanks to the American healthcare system as well. They're going to have a great Christmas party now. Now, we said once we get Tony set up with some dinner and some more painkillers, do you remember what Lily said that we were going to do after? Do you remember what you asked Lily? No.

So you got on that couch and we're like, we'll get you prepped up and then kind of little looks around and goes. Oh, yeah. And then she says, I think in the pool. Is that what you're talking about? No. I really said, do you want to get drunk? Should we get drunk? Oh, yeah.

and just between the four of us like we don't mind a nice drink to taste with dinner but we're not like drinkers and Lily just suddenly got a fucking taste for Lily probably the least of all like probably even less than me yeah and just when you were just like should we just get fucked up to her?

And then like laughed hell hard like but do you? But what are we doing? So where are you out with that Lil? Well I would do that for you Tony out. I just thought maybe you need Maybe you needed Do anything for me

No but maybe we just need to get drunk And that would help you Take the pain off, you know So She's doing it for you You guys think that you've been drunk Charles took condoms for you Yeah, all right

I appreciate it Let's do it What's your order, Lil tonight? My order? Yeah, what do you want to drink? Oh I don't know I'll get a grony

Charles Ten minute earlier's delivery Sweet, what are you going to get? Um, a bit of everything. If we're getting drunk. If we're getting like cocktails, then I'll have a margarita. Charles? Give you one margarita.

I will broken my leg. Sorry. Oh, that's what I. Oh. What would you like to drink? I don't think that I should drink anything because I already can't walk. She's like, what's like? Like I already can't really get around.

Yeah. But I just want that wherever you guys are hanging out that I can hang out there too. Yeah, cool. We're hanging out. At the local bouncing car. To a Hollywood trampolines. No, if you want to sit on this couch... Why is there condoms here?

It's too much. If you just want to hang out on the couch, we'll hang out here with you. Around me. Yeah, we'll get, we'll clear out of this stuff and we'll watch a movie or something. No, nothing's scary. I really want to watch a scary movie

and Tony doesn't want to. Do I get the 12 pack of white claws? Oh my God. Fucking hell. Did I turn 20? in the meantime. All right. Oh, we can...

Oh, we're still on. Yeah, we can move this out. Love you. I'm so sorry if there's no episodes next week, but you'll find out. Don't apologize, my dear. Sorry. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. I'm Mark. And I'm Ryan, and you might know us from our award-winning CBC podcast, Let's Make a Sci-Fi. But we want to tell you about our brand-new show, The Town Show. On The Town Show, we are building a fictional town.

Every week we invite a guest comedian on to riff with us about new citizens, new buildings, historical landmarks for our made-up town. The best way to describe it is, you know that Simpsons poster with every character on it? We're trying to create that, but in podcast form. So listen to The Town Show out every Wednesday, where every year. you get your podcasts.