Toni and Ryan - Toni's Adulting Porn

Episode Date: January 8, 2023

I've got the HOTTEST thing you've ever heard - and I wanna hear yours!!! Please post your adulting porn on today's episode thread! Love ya xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My name's Ryan. I'm the vice captain of this ship. Tony Lodge is here. Thank you. It's the Tony and Ryan podcast and we are calling Luke who is in Perth. Luke in Perth. I'm from Perth. Are you? Yeah. W-A. Imagine if it was the Perth in Scotland. Is it?

Oh, remember I told that story about Perth and it was the wrong Perth? No. The museum? Yeah. People tweeted at me and I was like, shame. Ahoy, ahoy. Ahoy, ahoy. Rise and I was like, shame. Ahoy, hoy. Ahoy, hoy. Rise and shine.

Hey, how you doing? We're good. How are you? Sorry, it's what, 7am for you? Oh, it's like, yeah, 7.30. Luke, will you approve the podcast? Absolutely. I mean, we're not here to fuck spiders, are we?

We are. Well, I thought it's an error on my behalf. I just read the situation. Hey, it's Luke from Perth, Western Australia, and I approve this podcast. I think I speak on behalf of all tarpers when I say. This is a big call. It's a big call, but I'm going to back it in. Okay.

After we discovered on Friday that over the break you became really good at Monopoly and considered being a full-time property mogul. Yep. Then you got really good at playing Cluedo. Yes. And we're going to become a PI and then we're questioning whether or not the podcast is going to become a PI and then we're questioning whether or not the podcast is going to be a part of your life.

On behalf of the Tarpers, it's great to see you here today. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I really enjoyed your heartfelt words on Friday when you asked me to stay. Yeah, it was a tough decision to say goodbye to my PI business. Yeah, you said you thanked me for the support. Yeah. Do you think there's a line where if someone's thinking about leaving,

you can be like too supportive? Oh. Like if someone you don't like at work is like, I'm thinking of leaving, like you should. I don't know what the alternative, but do it. Live your best life, babe. I think that you should just go where the wind takes you. I've just started knitting.

You could do that full time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, thanks for your support. Everyone's really positive about me leaving. Sorry, should I think twice about what you said? No. I feel like.

Because I'm supportive in 2023. Yeah. Being supportive is in. I just want to find the line where, you know what I mean? You were more supportive of me staying than going. Okay, good. I felt, but have I misread that? No, no, I'm just trying to find the line where, you know what I mean? You were more supportive of me staying than going. Okay, good. I felt, but have I misread that? No, no, I'm just trying to get my areas.

Because my 2023 in is being honest and saying what we want. So no empty office. And what do you want? I want to stay. It's lovely to have you here, mate. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in.

See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. We did four. You'll have to see. It's on Friday. So see tomorrow. See you tomorrow. We did four. You'll have to see it. It's on Friday. So see you. I've used on one.

But, Tony, apparently you're an adult. Thank you. Yes. I mean, I've got all these careers on the go. I've done three things that will turn on any adult. Turn on any adult. Yeah. This is going to get sexy.

Wind your windows up. Do I need a... Get your heavy load ready. Torbs and I... I'm already fucking ready to go. Been doing it for nine years together for eight. Yeah. What did you guys do? We just bought new pots and pans

how's that making you feel boys fucking making me feel real good yeah is it a thing where like you don't truly know oh you don't you. Sorry. I'm just so excited. Keep going. Well, this is twofold. You don't know how shit your old pants were. Oh. Like, you know they're shit, but you don't just know how shit until you get new ones and go, fuck, we could have been doing this the whole time and we've been doing that.

So most recently the pots and pans that we were using were ones that we got for free during a MasterChef promotion at Coles. For free? You couldn't even get my mum's coffee machine for that price. On a promotion at Coles. Hang on, but for free though? So when you spend money at Coles, you accumulate points. And then it's like 50 points

you get the frying pan, 80 points you get the stock pot. How expensive is it? How much do you need to spend to get the points? I can't even remember. So we got it for free after we spent $3,000. But we do our shopping there anyway. Yeah, fair. It's free money.

So it's not as if we were like, let's start shopping at Coles. But is what you're getting at maybe the ones you got for free weren't going to be the big- What are the good ones? Well, so I guess like a- Jamie Oliver's stuff. Are they good? No?

See, I don't really know. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure there's great brands that- Let me see if I can remember the brand that we bought. And before I say the brand that we bought- How much was it? We got a fantastic deal for Boxingdale. Boxingdale. Yesingdale, yes.

In Australia, Boxingday sales are like- Is like our Black Friday. Yeah, because I was chatting to the birth father overseas and they were like, why do you keep talking about Boxingday sales? Yeah, it's like a big thing here. So I think that the set that we bought was- This will get me turned on. Tell me how much it should have been going for.

It was worth $9.50. And what did you get it for? $2.50. Fucking righto. Yeah, I know. I know. That's awesome. So they're like, it's a four piece.

So there's like one frying pan, a frying pan with a lid. That's underrated. A little saucepan and like a big boiling pot. Yeah. And I can actually show you the ones that we got. They're bloody nice. Yeah. Underrated. Little saucepan. Yeah. And like a big, like boiling pot. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, I can actually show you the ones that we got. They're bloody nice. And how did you feel?

This is actually, I'm showing you the ones from Maya and they're more expensive there. We got a better deal. These are the ones we got. So they're like stainless steel. They got like a little copper bottom. That is really nice. Yeah. That is really. But I want you to tell me the feeling you felt when you walked up as an adult.

Yeah. Not going, oh, where's the coupons, duh? Yeah. When you walked up and said, I'm here to buy the pots and pans set. Let me tell you, I actually bought it online. So I didn't get that moment. But when they arrived. They arrived.

Tell me about that. Yeah. But like just peeling the paper off and just being like, we are throwing out pot. So the pot that we had, the handles were plastic and you could smell burnt plastic every time you used it. And the lid, the top handle on the lid had snapped off so there was like a little peg on the top and that's like how you had

to take the lid off when you were boiling water so you had to use like a tea towel because it would get so far it would be hotter than the sun yeah and you'd have to like peel it off the top uh is that the one we used i think in one of the live streams on patreon for the mulled wine yep yeah yeah and it's got like a the handles heat up and like the lid doesn't work. I feel like I can taste the handles in the wine. You're welcome. It's actually a- Bit of cinnamon, a bit of red wine, bit of plastic. Is that black plastic from the handle?

That's lovely. And what was the first thing you cooked? Oh, what was the first thing that we cooked? Oh, Torb's did a scrambled eggs in the- On a hot, fresh pan. Hot, fresh pan. Fucking righto. And it bloody heated up evenly.

Like, you know, there's no hot spots in these pans. Honestly, like, this is like a big, I'm almost 30. This is like a big adult purchase for us. I've got another thing that's going to turn you on. There's more? There's three things. I did say there was three things, yeah. Get your heavy load ready.

It's gone. It's red. It's in my pants. It's in my pots and pans. Torbs and I have been doing it for nine years together for eight. We bought new quilts and towels and we got them really cheap. Yeah, you were bragging about them. So we bought these new beach towels because we never had beach.

So the beach towels we were using. Did you plan on using them for Christmas Day? We got them at Boxing Day sale. Great. We bought the ones that we had were hot pink Katmandu, like microfiber towels that we bought when we were backpacking because they were like tiny. Micro and you can roll them up. Microfiber, roll them up.

Convenient, but probably not- They're not very nice. No. Oh, but just, and the aesthetic for a nice beach day, it's like it's a fucking choice. Yeah, it's a vibe. It's, yeah. So we bought these lovely mustard towels, supposed to be $90 each, got them for $30 each.

I know this and you know how I know this because you came in bragging about it. Bragging about it. And can I just let everyone who's listening know, Tony comes around for a swim the other day and I said, Matt, we've got plenty of towels here. Just you come. And you went, no. I'll be by you.

I've actually just got new towels. And if you think I'm swimming and not bringing those towels, you're kidding yourself. And when you walked in, I was like, fuck, are they new? And you go, $30, mate? No, I want a $90. Fucking dreaming. And the pride I saw on your face.

And I was like, fucking get it, girl. Thank you for the support. I really appreciate that. No, I like this. Can we do this every episode? Yeah. Yes. Do you want me to say the rest of them?

And we also bought summer quilts. Describe the summer quilt to me. It's a light quilt. So it's more like a comforter. Okay. You know, like a thinner blanket. Because we both, Torbs and I, sleep with separate blankets. Yes.

And so it's been so hot. And now that there's also a little dog in the bed. Is there a dog in the bed? Wow. It's just a bit too much with there's also a little dog in the bed. Is there a dog in the bed? Wow. It's just a bit too much with our big quilt. Oh, yeah. So we bought like lighter quilts so they don't take up as much room. Oh, so it's not like over the top of the doona.

It's like instead of the doona. Instead of the doona. So our big doonas are like up in our cupboard now until winter. That's March's problem. Exactly. I mean, global warming, probably July. You might not use them ever again. Yeah.

Here's a summer quilt person all year round. Yeah. That's who problem. Exactly. I mean, global warming, probably July. You might not use them ever again. Yeah. Here's a summer quilt person all year round. Yeah. That's who you are. So, you know, we're just doing summer quilts now. That's fucking real life. Thank you. Mate, you're further. I may have questioned your spending too much time playing Uno and Cluedo

and Monopoly and whatever. Yes. I like this. See, I'm doing good shit. Yeah, no, you don't. Yeah. And the last thing. I actually don't know if I can handle anymore.

I bought. Don't. A high pressure hose to clean the backyard. Your courtyard? Yeah. Well, yeah, it's a backyard. It's fucking huge. A high pressure hose.

Yeah. This will do me in. Yeah. Not in a, it's a backyard. It's fucking huge. Yeah. A high-pressure hose. Yeah. This will do me in, not in a good way. Oh. Did you get a leaf blower as well? No, I didn't get a leaf blower. Thank God. Now, I don't need a leaf blower. Yeah, but a high-pressure hose.

So the thing is. Get the mould and the grime and the green shit. See, that's the thing is that because we are, like, in the courtyard, but it's all buildings surrounding us. Yeah. And so like everybody's dust and fucking cigarette ash and shit, it like settles in our courtyard. So our courtyard gets really dusty and grimy.

And it's like tiles. It's an internal courtyard. That's how you describe it, right? Yeah. It's not like our, so you get the sun and everything. That's what I was thinking of, yeah. But yeah, all the grime like settles and it just like, and then because it gets wet and it's just y out. So you get the sun and everything. That's what I was thinking of. But, yeah, all the grime, like, settles and it just, like, and then because it gets wet and it's just yuck.

Yeah. But so we went and bought a high-pressure hose. But I have a question, right? Yeah. What do you think is the social etiquette of using a high-pressure hose because they're quite loud? Yeah. Is it the sound of the water hitting the tile that's loud

or is the actual machine of it? Like the compressor's quite loud. Yeah. Is it the sound of the water hitting the tile that's loud or is the actual machine of it? Like the compressor's quite loud. Yeah. So it's kind of like. And then when you got the water going as well, it's like. Yes. The combination of those sounds kind of sounds like. That was quite good actually.

That was quite impressive. Yeah. So what do you think? Okay. Let me take you back 20 seconds. Yeah. What is the grime? Where's the grime from? Like up the other balconies.

Yeah. Did they ask you before they could put their shit down there? Oh, that's a good point. You're not water pressuring your shit. You're water pressuring their shit. Their grime. Their grime. Their dust. Their cigaretteime. Their grime. Their dust.

Their bullshit. Their cigarette ash. Their filthy hot breath. Yeah, just sinking down into my bloody courtyard. So you're doing them a favour. By not charging them for it. By not charging them for it. And just providing a place for them to fucking put their shit.

Yeah, I'm basically a tip. So are you asking me if you need to ask their permission to take care of their shit? Is that what you're asking? Because if it is, I think we already know the answer. Okay, that's not actually the side I thought you would take. What did you think I would say? Well, just because it is loud, I thought you'd be like,

oh, it's a bit of a dog. What time are you doing it? Well, so, yeah, this is kind of the question. It was about 3 or 4 p.m. That's as late as you'd want to go. I reckon as well because otherwise you're getting into afternoon drinks territory. So this guy, when I was living in Richmond, like our house

probably had, what, seven other houses within four metres of it. Oh, yeah, it was like crammed in quite tight. Yeah, and this one guy with a blower vac, he's like blowing leaves out of his driveway at like 6.30 on a Sunday night. Absolutely fucking not. I don't think so. That's dinner time. That's dinner time.

That's family time. It's Sunday. It's also like depression time. Yeah, mate, I'm trying to mentally prepare. For the week. I don't need this right now. No. I would say three or four is fine, but that's like.

That would be the. Don't push it. But don't go too early on a weekend. No, you can't go too early. I reckon the earliest you could go is 11. I don't disagree. Mate, you're just fucking all gold today. Yeah.

So when I was in Toowoomba. Yeah. Yeah. So when I was in Toowoomba. Yeah. Okay. I don't need to explain what kind of state I was in when I say I was at a toga party. My son, I'm all in. You know what I mean? Yeah. Did you get the sheets cheap from Sheridan in the Boxing Day sales?

I'm never going to see these fucking sheets again. No, no, no. Someone else got new sheets at Sheridan and you got their old ones for the toga party. No one has been able to walk in a straight line home from a toga party. That is a fact. I've never been, but I imagine. Yeah, well, it's what fun people do. Yeah, of course.

No one's ever been invited. I was talking about music festivals with Tony the other day, and Tony goes, I've never been invited to one. I'm like, you just buy the tickets. Yeah. So toga party. Yeah. And I get woken up at 6.58.

Fuck off. And someone is,oken up at 6.58. Fuck off. And someone is, I think they were washing their car, but with a high pressure thing. And they got the car radio. And I was like, my head felt like it was going to explode. I'm just hearing the. Yeah. And they got the, you know,

I'll put the car radio on to listen to some music. And because the pressure is so loud, they're turning the radio. And I was like, absolutely fucking not on a weekend. Even if you didn't have a hangover, that's still fucking rude. That's fucking rude. And I think you need to have – it's not his fault that I'm hungover. No. But you need to give some sort – and people go, oh,

I work during the week, I have to do it on the weekend. Yeah, yeah. Just give me a bit of grace period in the morning. I think 7am is far too early. I would have said 9 or 10. The fact that you've gone to 11. I think 11 for the high-pressure hose in my little apartment building. But I'd say if you were like, say at your house, right,

you were going out washing the car, 10. Yeah. 9.30, 10. Well, so what I actually did was Torbs and I, Scissors Paper, rocked each other and I lost, so I had to go to the neighbours to be like, hey, we're just going to high-flying. Did you ask them?

Yeah. Tony. Well, I knocked on the door and they didn't answer and I was like, all right, well, I'll just do it. So I just did it and no one said anything and I was done in like half an hour. But I was like, oh, I wonder if that's like a dick move. We have to do it sometime.

Yeah. Like I've picked a pretty good time. It's not too hard. You don't even knock. That's weird. That's weird. No, it's not. That's polite.

Yeah, but it's still weird though. Well, they weren't home or they ignored me. And either way, even if they ignored me and then I was doing the high pressure hosing, that's fucking annoying. They'd go, that's probably who was knocking before. You know, like it's their fault. Say what you want, 2023, that's in. If you don't want me to hose, you just let me know, babe.

Can everyone just let me know and Tony know in the episode thread just how you're feeling after hearing this delightful stuff? And also maybe if you did any adult porn things that we could share. I think I've got one. Have you? Save it. Save it? Save it. Okay. We'll do this got one. Have you? Save it. Save it? Save it.

Okay. We'll do this again either later this week or next week. Can we get some light meditation music next time? Maybe. So we can just really lean to it. Just give me a quick recap and say it in a sexy voice. All right. We bought new pots and pans.

Got like a $600 discount. Fuck me. New towels. Got them real cheap. I can feel the softness already. And a high pressure washer for the backyard. There it goes. Hey, it's Luke from Perth, Western Australia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.

Lord LGBT. Welcome. The lord of the LGBT community, I think. Oh. Do you reckon? Must be. I thought it might have been lord. No, that's L-O-R-D-E.

And this is Lord LGBT. One word. Caitlin Hubenak, thank you so much. Hubenak. Huber Stank. And the reason is you. Chelsea Volkman, thank you so much. Much.

Thank you so much. You're okay. Thank you so much. You're okay. Thank you so much. You're thinking about them towels, aren't you? I am. I'm just thinking about what I'm going to cook for dinner tonight and not those fucking pans. DJ Riddler.

Wicker, wicker. And J-Mogg. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. You fucking love to see it. Yep. Don't you? Yeah, you fucking do. Oh, you know what I don't love to see?

What? What's wrong? Are you hot? I am. It is hot in this what I don't love to see? What? What's wrong? Are you hot? I am. It is hot in this shit. Do you want me to open the door? No, it's fine. Okay.

It's fine. I am slightly warmed up because of what you said before. Oh, yeah. It was a bit hot and heavy. Good, hot. But something has been said to me frequently for the last two weeks, and I don't know if I should be offended. I feel like I'm being made fun of.

Why? Or maybe it's not a compliment because I'm so predictable and so boring. But Glass Onion, the movie, part of the Knives Out series. Yep. I watched it a lot. As someone who's watched a lot of James Bond movies, it took a long time to get my head around Daniel Craig's accent. The accent, yeah.

Like, where are you from, bro? I just found the accent a bit unnecessary. Yeah. Like, I just, so did you, sorry, just to quickly recap. I haven't watched the first one. Did you watch the first one? No, no. Not that you need, it's not the same story, but yeah,

I'd wondered if you watched the first one. Yeah, no. So I've been thinking about watching it for a while because I kind of like Daniel Craig. Yeah. And then it looked a bit fun and I said, Tony, I think I'm going to watch Glass Onion. What did you say to me?

Oh, I didn't love it, but you would really like it. What the fuck does that mean? Then my mum, who's watched everything on every streaming platform. Has she? Yeah. I mean, she's just waiting for a hit on that coffee machine. She's got to watch something while she waits for the fucking phone calls to roll in. She goes, oh, it's a bit all over the place.

It's a bit cheesy. But you'd really like it. That's what your mum said. That's what my mum said. And this happened a few times. And that's where I'm like, okay, this is what I'm hearing. Oh, don't go travelling to that town. It's really boring and full of boring people.

You'd love it there. Yeah. These clothes look fucking shit and everyone who wears them is a cockhead. Here you go, Ryan. Put these on. You'd love them. Here you go, Ryan. Put these on.

You'd love them. What is it about this movie that, A, everyone doesn't like, B, that I would supposedly like, and what does it say about me? Yeah, I know what you're saying now, and especially because you copped it from a few different people. You, mum, strangers on Twitter. It's like, and the consistency. That people said, I don't love it, but you'll really like it. It's not that people hated it. I was like, no, no, it's all right.

I just thought it was fine. Like, I just thought it was fine. But you love it. I actually slept through my spurt. I've heard, yeah, we'll get to that in a second. Yeah, okay, sorry. What I will say is that it is hard to then know whether it is like a backhanded compliment or is it just that people know you so well?

Like, you know when someone shows you something they want to buy and you go, that's not for me but it's nice? Like you can not like, like something can be great but just not your taste. Yeah, and I get that. But like, yeah, to go, I don't like that but you would, yeah. So I think when you go is it nice that people know you so well? Yeah. Well, A, yes, but B, if knowing me so well is knowing I'm a fuckhead,

that's also not nice at all. And not in a mean way because it's true. I loved it. Did you? Yeah, I thought you would. Yeah, that was pretty good. It wasn't really for me but I thought you would. Yeah, and when mum said it's all over the place and a bit cheesy,

I'm like, oh, this is all over the place. It's so cheesy. It's great. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, but you know how there's movies that we've watched for the podcast and you've gone, it's just so cringe. I like had to look away. This is kind of more my. You had to look away? Well, I, like, had to look away. This is kind of more my.

You had to look away? Well, I fell asleep. The ultimate look away. Yeah. I lost consciousness. The ultimate blank. Well, I didn't know much about it besides it just, it always, you know when you open Netflix,

there's always that one that pops up straight away. Always pops up, yeah. And then I'm watching and I'm like, all these cameos. Like, I didn't realise Kate Hudson, you know, the first scene where they, like, introduce her. Oh, it's not a cameo. She's in it. Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's a cameo at first because you don't know what you're. What? Like when she appeared. It's not a cameo. She's in the movie. Yeah. And then there are lots of other cameos and stuff. You're right.

No, no, you're right. Do you know what a cameo is? Yeah, you'd be like, I didn't know it wasn't a cameo when I saw it because I didn't know she was going to be in the whole movie. Yeah, right. I was like, oh, there's a random scene with Kate Hudson. And then because I didn't know she was going to be in the whole movie. Yeah, right. I was like, oh, there's a random scene with Kate Hudson. And then they're like, oh, no, she's in the whole thing. Wouldn't your first assumption be, oh, she's in that movie, not that's a cameo?

No, because all the pictures are just Daniel Craig, just from the posters and stuff. And I just didn't know. That's okay. I'm a big fan. Like, I always read for, like, who's in it first. That's okay. I'm a big fan. I always read who's in it first. Yeah. I prefer to do that on my phone during it and piss off Bridget who's like, just watch the fucking movie. Yeah, rather than being like,

oh, did you know that this isn't just a cameo? She's in the whole thing. So you said after that you go... Oh, by the way, hang on. Just for people, because it is quite new. No, we're not giving any spoilers, so don't stress. You said... Spoiler, Kate Hudson's not just any spoilers, so don't stress. You said. Spoiler, Kate Hudson's not just a cameo.

She's actually in the movie. Spoiler, she's in the movie. Spoiler, the person who's listed as in the movie is actually in it. Is in the whole thing. You said, oh, I fell asleep. What percentage of it do you reckon you slept through? Probably. I reckon I watched the first like 40 minutes. Okay.

And then probably the last 10. Okay. So the other day you were like, oh, I saw the first seven minutes and then woke up for the last two and I didn't really miss much. No. And now that I've watched it, I'm like, there is absolutely no fucking chance that is possible because so much happens.

No. So I watched like, yeah, the first half an hour, 40 minutes. Okay, that's a big, yeah. And then fell asleep. But a lot happens. It was a hot afternoon. It's so fast moving. But then at the end I was like, oh, so obviously X, Y, Z, blah, blah, blah.

And Torbs was like, well, like there's more to it than that. But like, I guess, you know, and then I was like, well, so I could have just saved myself all that time. Like, you know and then i was like well so i could have just saved myself all that time like you know what i mean i just but i'm not in fairness i'm not a long movie guy you're not you're not a long movie guy in fact you said you only want to watch movies that are 80 minutes and you gave it 80 minutes yes exactly right that's what i yes yeah yes i stuck to my gun well that's like me with books i'm like just give me five dot points. Yeah.

Hit me with the hard stuff. But then I. There are lots of twists and turns and funny stuff and. Yeah. Some laugh out loud jokes. Yeah. No. So I was really excited because Torb said to me, do you want to watch it?

And I said, no. And then when we got super into Cluedo, I was like, we should watch the Nights Out movie. It's pretty similar. Well, yeah, it's like that whodunit kind of vibe. It could have been any of them. Well, yeah, and I was like, we could probably figure this out. Then I fell asleep.

It's surprising that you're great at Cluedo but couldn't stay awake for that. Maybe you need to be in the movie. Yeah, I just can't like, and if I'm, you know, comfy and cosy and I'm in front of the air con or I've got a blanket on me, I was Yeah, I just can't like, and if I'm, you know, comfy and cosy and I'm in front of the air con or I've got a blanket on me, I was like, I'm. Good night, nurse.

Yeah, like I'm like a kitty in a sunbeam, you know what I mean? Like I'm like a little cat meowing on the floor and I just can't stay awake. But, yeah, so I saw, you know, what, 30% of a movie and then decided you'd probably really like it. It put me to sleep so you'd probably love it. 30% of a movie and then decided you'd probably really like it. It put me to sleep so you'd probably love it.

But in fairness as well, you like three things. Three things. A casino heist. Correct. A corrupt cop. Ooh. And a mystery. Which side is they on?

You know? Yeah. They're your three things. Yep. And, like, I know that not all of those things happen obviously in this movie, but like areas, I know the areas that you like. And so I thought it was more endearing that I would think that you would like, or know that you would like it. And you did. You know, that show, um, was it called Money Heist? It was dubbed as that Spanish show. I'm not sure. It was a show on

Netflix, like 10 episodes and they're were all wearing the red jackets and stuff. Right. But literally, it reads like, you know, after robbing the casino and then attempting to rob a bank, the undercover cop basically just lists all those three things, and I was like,

And someone was murdered. Who done it? And who did it at the end? You're like, fuck me right up. Yeah, so that's very you. Yeah, okay. Okay. Is there anything else I like? Early 2000s emo music. Yeah, get away playing short stack or something.

Yeah. You also like Nike clothes. Do I? You have a lot of Nike clothes. I do. I just don't like the other ones. Yeah. You also love chicken wings.

Fuck. I mean, yeah. Who doesn't love chicken wings, though? You love chicken wings. I'd say that's part of your personality is that you love chicken wings. No, it's not. You love bourbon's part of your personality is that you love chicken wings. No, it's not. You love bourbon. Is bourbon the one that you like?

More of a whiskey. But that's just more of not being a beer guy. Yeah. You love an old-fashioned. Yeah. Who doesn't? Again. Man, I've seen you knock back a few old-fashioned.

Yeah, I love an old-fashioned. But just the other day I was talking about that weird candied bacon one that I got, remember? Yeah, that's a real shame. With the bacon smoke on it and stuff. You don't like reading. Am I that predictable? No, but I mean you could list all the same things about me. Yeah, she likes boring stuff.

I don't like boring stuff. No, you don't. What do I like? Cluedo. Monopoly. Animal Kingdom. Crossing. Crossing.

What did I say? Animal Kingdom. That's a book, I think. Okay. Yeah, all the fun stuff. Yeah. Great. Pressure washing.

New sheets. New possum pants. Like a really cool person. I hope this wasn't someone's first episode. No, Tony's really cool. Trust me. Yeah, Ryan loves shit stuff and he likes me. What does that fucking say?

Someone goes, I met Tony. She was a bit interesting, wasn't she? You'd like her though, right? Yeah, you'd like her. Yeah, no, I do actually. Fuck you. You just like people's leftovers. Yeah.

The shit people don't like. I've got a love to say it, which is also a bit of a negative again, I've just realised. Oh, fucking hell. My love to see it is GQ magazine is finally saying it how it is. And considering we've talked about you getting new quilts and buying new things. Yeah. Someone's finally called out a fucking scam. And it's not the cucumber zucchini thing.

Have I been scammed? Here's the headline from GQ magazine. Top sheets are a scam. Oh, top sheets are a fucking... I don't use top sheets. They are a fucking scam. Fuck them right off. Read the first line of this article.

A top sheet is the gift wrapping of a bed. It looks nice, but you need to throw it away. Yep. I could not... I hate a top sheet. We only do... We do a fitted sheet and a quilt. Also, how do you like this from the writer? Some people like top sheets. They're wrong about that. They could not. I hate a top sheet. We only do a fitted sheet and a quilt. Also, how do you like this from the writer?

Some people like top sheets. They're wrong about that. They are wrong. I love to see that. Yeah, and I was reading this from GQ. GQ. Sorry, I'm all fucking revved up. And I was like, yeah.

I mean, someone had to say it. Yep. No, I totally agree. Thank you, GQ magazine. Top sheets fucking suck. Yeah. What's the point? And I hate that they're tucked in at the end.

You know the first thing I do when I get into a hotel? Kick. Well. What's the first thing you do? When you get into the bed, when you kick the sheet, like because they're tucked in too tight and you kick. You open the door, you just kick the air. You just practice your karate in the hallway.

Jackie Chan, you ate through there. Oh, welcome here. Can I get you a room service menu? Can I put you a... You just put the dirt on the stairwell and you just start kicking. You guys are kicking shit. No, that's not what I was going to say. Ignore me.

No, you go. You tell your own story then. Ignore them. No, you go. You tell your own story then. I'll let you tell your story instead of me just fly kicking everyone. It's like someone in there cleaning your room. You just kick them in the face.

Oh, sorry. We're just tidying up from the last guest. Oh, sorry, man. Oh, sorry. This is what I do every time. As soon as I walk into a hotel, I just kick. Fucking left foot, right foot. Oh, sorry. This is what I do every time.

As soon as I walk into a hotel, I just kick. Fucking left foot, right foot. No, what I was going to say is untuck the whole bed. Yeah. With your foot. While I'm kicking at the same time. I've fucking lost it. I haven't slept enough.

It's caught in the studio. I've got a very quick you love to say. Kent's kicking things. I love to see Ryan just kicking his hotel room. Beth Etheridge, 24. It's his tweet that's gone viral. What are you doing? Just kicking it.

Just kicking it. Yeah. Did you get room service? Yeah. Yeah, did I ever? I did that too. Yeah. Sorry. I'm sorry. May you get room service? Yeah. Yeah, did I ever. I did that too. Yeah. Sorry. I'm sorry.

May you go. To the woman sat in Costa, which is like a coffee shop. Yep. To the woman sat in Costa drinking a latte who just phoned, I'm assuming her boss, to say she's stuck in traffic and is going to be late for work. Fair fucking play. Drink your coffee.

Hope you have a great week. So she's just gone, yeah, the traffic's just fucked, isn't it? Yeah, we'll have another muffin. Yeah, yeah. Coffee, yeah, traffic's just fucked. Yeah, I'll be a bit late today. Yeah. Yeah, cheers, Cheryl.

Yeah, is that the takeaway? Actually, no, I'll have that in. Oh, you know what? I'll have that here. Yeah, I'll have it on that lounge over there, I reckon. Yeah. You got Wi-Fi and that? Good, because I'm going to check and work.

Do you mind, though, before I have a drink, if I have a kick first? I just like, when I get into a new space, I just properly kick. Do you want a shot of vanilla? Oh, you know, give you that little kick in the morning? A bit of kick, mate. It was just the way that you went, kick. I saw this tweet the other day

when that person's not going into work. This person messages their boss and goes, I've got an eye problem. I can't come in today. Yeah. And they go, oh. Sounds pretty serious, yeah. Yeah, they go, oh, but what's going on?

And he just goes, can't see myself coming in. You should have saved that as a email. Just say it. Oh, we're doing three each day now, apparently. Yeah, sorry. I don't have another one. Yeah, we're going to have to take a break. Yeah. All right.

See you next Tuesday. Fuck. What's coming up tomorrow? Oh, because we're doing Hot Fun Garbage at St Kilda Beach next week. Yes. Next weekend. Next week. Beach pick-up lines tomorrow.

Ooh. Saucy. Sandy. Give you a kick. What? I don't know. Kick tourists. Click.

Yeah, it'll be good tomorrow. Okay, cool. Yeah. Love you, bye. Love you, bye. Meow, meow, meow. So you know what I love to do when I get into a hotel room? Kick.

That's it. Just kick. I don't even sleep for that.