Toni and Ryan - Toni's Back In Hospital

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Hospital waiting room - Bloody asshole - CONFESSIONS - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I'm in the waiting room of the emergency department and everything's fine. But all of a sudden, an Uber eats Travers Rockta. He takes a photo of the food, puts it on a chair in the waiting room, and fucks off. What the fuck? The clerk guy, he comes out of his little booth and he just like picks up the food. And the bag gives like... The guy just goes, for fuck. Hi, I'm Carly from Queenby and New South Wales, Australia.

I'm Shannon. This is Ailey. We're from Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Hi, I'm Rachel from Galsh, Scotland, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Now, coming up today, we're going to do confessions, including a deep dive into is a pool cleaner actually here to clean the pool or does culturally it mean something else? I don't think you understand what culturally means. Because when you said that yesterday, I thought, in some places. Porn. You mean porn.

And that has a culture. Yeah, but, yeah. That's coming up today. Yeah. Well, I've had a bit of a rough night. Yeah, how you doing, man? um because and things are fine like it's going to sound really bad but it's fine but things are currently kind of fine well are they well they kind of fine but i had to go to the emergency room

last night because um had a few tummy issues yesterday um spent the whole day shitting blood actually to just rip the bandaid off can we and by we i mean charles and I add that at one stage you were like oh hell this bit weird just shitting blood and we were like that's not fucking weird go to the fucking hospital and you're like oh yeah it's a bit strange isn't it yeah feeling a bit tummy oh yeah a bit weird bit weird and I didn't feel good like I did not feel well but you were just like oh and a side note and we're like that's probably the lead if I like you need to say that you yeah but we had work to do and we had an episode and I was like well we'll record the episode and then like maybe after that I'll go or

You know. You know, get some lunch. Yeah. Well, no, I didn't eat. Awesome. Lunch or have you. I didn't eat. Yeah, no.

So I didn't eat. But I ended up heading home. And then I rang Torbs and I was like, here's the stitch. I'm shit in blood. And I don't think that it's very good. And he went, holy fuck. Well, no. And he said, do you want me to come home now and take you to the hospital?

And I was like, you know what? nah you don't need to come straight home i've still got a few things still at work i'll go home i'll feed pipa and i was like but i don't think we should meet at the hospital can you come home yeah and get me and we'll go together because i was like if i've got my car there that what a pain yeah like you don't need to worry about that you just yeah i just thought one less so he was like great i'll leave now and you're like no well yeah i was like look you're gonna finish in the next what hour or something I know you don't like to be a burden on others and like I don't want to like panic anyone or be annoying yeah but knowing what you know now yeah I probably would have acted a bit

sooner yeah yeah in fairness but and I would implore anybody to act faster than I did but anyway so he ended up I fed PIPA he came home I actually like I was like what do I what should I do in the meat because I was like I don't want should I eat something Like, it would, I just really had no idea what to do, but I didn't feel well. And I just felt a bit rattled about it because it was pretty scary. Like, I'm smiling, but like, was, I really didn't know. Anyway. And then so Torbs gets home.

He goes, oh, my God, we need to leave right now. And I was like, all right. Well, let's not be too hasty. How about instead of the emergency room? Like, we don't know, because people need help. I'm not clogging up the waiting room. Like, what a waste of space. Instead of the emergency room, why don't we go to KFC?

Yeah, well, why don't we go bowling instead of that? No, so I was like, I've called, because I had done like, you know how you can do like the virtual ED, like online chat, whatever? And they're like, yeah, you need to say someone. Like, literally you should have gone as soon. The first sign of blood out of your asshole, like you should talk to a professional. Gold Coast. This is why, imagine if yesterday, like I said, I became a doctor.

I could check out my own asshole. But that's for in 10 years time. Well, I at one stage said, Charles and I aren't doctors, but we would both strongly wreck, no, we both, but we would both strongly recommend. You're going to the hospital now. And you went, oh, yeah, I'll head home and see how we go. Well, the look on Charles's face, so I was like, oh, sorry, was that too much information? He's like, no, I'm worried about you.

Like, he did this face. He was like, oh, and I was like, sorry, is it too much? And he goes, no, like, I think he's. Too much for you to still be sitting here. Yeah. And anyway, so then I'm like, we've done the virtual AD thing. And then I'm like, let's go to urgent care. Like an after hours like GP clinic or whatever. And we go there, it's packed to the fucking gills.

Like there is like 20 people in the waiting room. I walk in. I don't even get to talk to the woman. She goes, I'm so sorry. We are at full capacity. Like, we can't take any more people. And I was like, all good. And then we go to another urgent.

I call another urgent care and they go, we are, like, you can't like. And I just wanted to tell someone what was wrong to be like, do I even need to be here?

Did you tell either of those two? And they go, we're full, can you go to the fucking hospital? Yeah, and they're like, but you need to definitely go somewhere. So by this time,

it's about 8.30 p.n. And I've been turned away from two places and Torbs and I were in the car and I was like, look, I think we just need to bite the bullet and just go to the ED. and because when you get, like, triaged, they determine, like, you know,

you don't get put in before someone who's, like, arm is fucking cut off. Yeah. Like, they decide how. But when you're bleeding from, maybe you do. Well, so this is. So, I get to, I hate this so much. No, I know. And it's coming for, this is.

It's because you care about me that you're like, you needed to go. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it's also like all the times you get fucked off with me, I get. As of right now, I'm cured. I get it. Hallelujah.

I'm healed. You finally get it. Because I didn't want to be a bother and I just didn't want to like going there and say this thing. They're like, that is so not a priority for us, you know? Because I just really didn't know. This has never happened to me. Being judged by someone is significantly a greater fear of Tony's than dying through bleeding of the arpile. It actually wasn't really the judgment.

in terms of like judging me for going there. I just didn't want to take up a spot of somebody else. Yeah, and like you said, the triage goes, oh, sorry, you're taking a spot of someone else. Why don't you fuck off to KFC? So, KFC, I don't know if you want KFC. I'm certainly not in the market for KFC currently. But anyway, so we get to...

I could zing. We get to, we get to, um, we get to the hospital. We get to the emergency room. There's a few people waiting in there. and I walk in and I'm like, oh my God. And it's just occurred to me that I'm about to have to tell someone that I'm shitting blood out of my asshole. The fact you haven't told anyone yet is crazy.

Because I told you guys and you like go to the hospital and I've been trying. I mean the triages and the phone calls and the... Well, yeah. Anyway, so then I realize that like, oh my God, there's like a room full of people just there. And I'm going to have to say this out. And I have to say this out loud. And I get like a little bit like nervous. And all I can feel is like the word vomit of like.

like what's going to happen. And I walk up there. There's no one sitting there and it's like, press the bell. I press the bell and this guy walks over. And he goes, hi, like, how can we help you? And I go, um, yep. So since about 4 a.m. this morning, I've been shitting blood out of my asshole. And I just like really need to talk to someone.

And look on this guy's face. He's like, oh, okay. Can I just? Hang on. No, I can't. Hang on. And he goes. Oh.

let me just go get a nurse I've just told the IT guy I'm like who are you then that I'm shitting blood out of my asshole but your Wi-Fi's good but you're all logged in password's safe and he's like let me just go get a nurse for you and I just you've all worked yourself up I've worked myself up I'm gonna tell someone I got to tell someone I got to tell someone I going to tell someone excuse me man yeah and i look at jobs like this i don't think and it's all kind of i'm realizing that he's wearing you know like a business shirt and slacks not like scrubs like a nurse or a doctor would did he have a stethoscope around his shoulder no no fob watch

she wearing gloves no did he have a shirt that said IT department on it yeah any clues I'm like, oh my, oh. But what's the IT guy doing in the fucking waiting room? That's on, you know what? No, no, no, no. Fuck that guy. That's on him. So then.

I go, oh, he goes, let me go get a nurse to you. And I said, I'm so sorry. And he goes, that's okay. He laughed. He goes back. And he goes, the nurse is coming. And I was like, I'm really sorry for telling you that I was she in blood out of my asshole.

And he goes, it's okay. it's fine and he like goes off whatever and a nurse comes over they begin to triage me and I kind of tell them what's going on and then did you double check did I she goes what seems to be the problem and you go are you a nurse yeah yeah I just need to get some clarification here is there show me a stethoscope have you got to my D yeah I'm going to need to see your fob watch to confirm that you're definitely a medical professional yeah anyway and so I start telling her and like crazy she goes have you been admitted to hospital in another country in the last five months.

And I go, fuck. You wouldn't fucking believe it. Yeah, I have actually. She goes, fuck me. I never have to push yes on that question. And I went, yeah.

I've had on some stairs in an accommodation in Los Angeles. And I've been admitted to the hospital in America. She goes, what? Like, she just was like, what are you talking about? So you fucking asked. I was like, I know. And she's like, yeah, I'd never have to put yes there. And she's like asking me about the situation.

and she goes, that sounds quite low risk. But I guess because if you've been in other hospital, it's like, what have you been exposed to? Have you done any farming in South America in the last seven days? And that's kind of the whole vibe, right? It's like the same as if you go anywhere when you're coming back to Australia. It's like, have you been in any farms or like creeks or rivers or whatever. Anyway.

Do you have over $10,000 cash on you at the moment? And now you have to say yes to two things. Yeah, the admin's crazy. Anyway, so then she kind of triages me and I was like, look I'm going to be real with you I don't know whether I'm like sick enough to be here and she goes everybody has a right to be here like that was so fucking lovely about it she's like but you absolutely are and you need to go and sit down and like we're going to do our thing anyway so she goes just before you sit down can we put a towel down she's like just before

you sit down you need to talk to our clerk because you um the closest one to us the private hospital so you know when you're getting there you've got to pay to be so like hospital in Australia is all free but if you go to a private hospital to go through the ED you have to pay like 450 bucks really yeah and you have to have private health insurance to be seen there I think it's like a hella emergency yeah but they can turn you away yeah right if you can't pay it and stuff anyway so thankfully I have the means to be there and I sit down and lo and fucking behold, the guy that takes the payment is the guy who I've just told about my buddy and I sit down.

Why is the IT guy taking payment? Well, so he wasn't an IT guy. He's like the clerk. He's like the head receptionist or something. Sorry. But he's just like this like nerdy guy working in the hospital at fucking midnight. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Anyway. So I sit down and I go, oh hi. And I was like, yeah, Tony Lodge is like, I know. He's like, yeah, we talked before. it's fine and if you think the talk out here was weird you should have heard us nurses in the fucking room out the back and then so we're kind of we're sitting there and I he's like yep can I have your insurance can I have all your shit whatever and we took through all that I give them the money and then he goes yep and just just wait here and I'm just like fuck I'm just like the

worst guy that's ever he's ever seen like he's just had enough of me and he doesn't deal with a lot of the medical stuff he does like all the paperwork yeah um anyway so we're sitting there and these like the randomest people come through and are saying so not like like nurses that work there that are like oh have you seen X and he's like no and it like he ends up being the person that everybody kind of goes to to be like oh do you have this information do you have this thing and it just felt like he didn't really have any of the information but like people ask all the time you know when like um in a shopping center there's like center management and they put on the thing like please don't ask us about parking like we can give you direction so you know

or like on a lighting desk it's like I'm not the DJ please don't ask me for to play a song and you could just tell that he gets asked these things all the time and there's people working up as like agency nurses that are like don't know where to park and stuff like that like he's just like doing a lot of stuff and he was pretty straight he's pretty run off his feet there's a lot of people there I'm sitting there it's getting later and later it's like 10 30 by now 1130 or something And this Uber Eats driver comes in to the emergency department. And he's holding it. I know.

Can we all just take a breath? Sometimes stuff's just places. Yeah. What a crazy combination of things to see at one thing. And he rolls in. Sorry, I'll give you a second. Because, yeah. I know.

So, do you want me to tell you what the food was? And that definitely makes it worse. You know that before you were like, oh, imagine if a guy's about to lose his arm. Yeah. And he's in there and they're like, blah, blah, blah. You're about to have your arm amputated. Is there anything you'd like to do before we do it? And he goes, I just need to eat one last burger with a double-handed grip.

Well, it's funny that you said burger because this Uber-Aid striper rolls in with a massive bag of royal stacks. and like two drinks on the side and like obviously food for a few people and like hot whatever ordering that to the emergency department just feels so crazy it was the most upsetting thing ever do you know what you had been doing all day right

what do you mean also quite upsetting you know what I mean sorry I'm more mean like that coming into that it was just like what is going like it felt like the fucking twilight zone yeah he the guy comes in the Uberit striker and he looks

and the clerk like the guy who I told about my shitting asshole bleeding asshole sorry shitty asshole that's normal he looks there he's not there right now he's like gone off to do some paperwork whatever he addresses the emergency this is last night he addresses the emergency department the waiting room

and goes, is this any, who, this is for Ben, fucking whatever. Yeah. And we go, oh, no, I'm sitting like not feeling great. Talks us with me. There's another woman who's like been waiting for a while. She's in quite a bit of pain. And there was another couple waiting for their, um, their dad was in, her dad was in there.

And anyway, and we all just go, no, mate. Like, nah. Is there a Ben? Is there a Ben? No, that's not. us and he goes oh this is reception a and we were like this is the emergency room yeah yeah that's what it says on here he takes a photo of the food like in the reception area fuck off fuck off puts it on a chair in the waiting room and fucks off what the fuck like and we're all just

like sorry like so fucking random anyway and like an ambulance drops off a patient they roll him through the door and just leave him there like so we're all like what has just happened and then the clerk guy he comes back to his desk and so like one of the other people this woman's in so much pain like she doesn't even fuck this other woman who's just like waiting for her dad. She's like, should we tell someone about that food? This guy doesn't need to be told anything else.

He's been coping it left, right and so. And she goes, oh, I don't really know what to do. And I was like, well, someone's ordered this. We need to figure it out.

And it's just going to sit out here. That's so weird. So I, there's always a moment in a Scooby-Doo episode where the gang decides, we need to figure this out. Something needs to be done. Yeah.

Like, there's a case here. So one bitch is in excruciating pain. this girl's about to lose her father you're shitting blood and you go we need to do something about this she said we need to do something about this but she wasn't going to do a fucking thing

and so I go up to the guy and I go me again me again hey mate a bit of a weird one and he's like what could be weirder than what you've already told me

Like this, the look on this guy's face. Like, just fucking hell. Anyway, I go, I'm so sorry. An Uber Eats driver just dropped off a bunch of food. What should we do about that? What should we do about that? Like, what should we all collectively do with this food? And he's like, what?

And he was like, that could be anyone in the hospital. And I went, well, yeah, that's homecoming to the guy with the information. Well, not anyone. It could be anyone named Ben. Yeah. We know that the guy's called Ben. And he goes, oh, and I go, do you want me to grab it? And he goes, oh, don't touch it.

Great decision. Fair. He's like, no one touched the food. Like, I'll come and grab it. So he comes out of his little booth, comes and gets the food. And I went, yeah, just didn't want someone to go hungry if they're like waiting. And he just like picks up the food. And the bag gives one.

Just through the bottom. And two burgers and a mac and cheese fall out. A mac and cheese as well. Because that's, you don't just pick up mac and cheese off the floor and chuck it in the bin. So it was in a little container, thankfully. Like it was in there. Oh, can you imagine?

Oh. Yeah. And so, and then this guy just, he's holding the bag, but all the like foods on the ground. And the guy just goes, for fuck. and walked out and never came back that was his last minute in that job he's like I'm one thing away from this

finally shit job what was the final straw sir it was the mac and fucking cheese in the ground so yeah now who's the real victim of this story is it Tony Lodge's asshole shit in blood yeah

is it the guy working the counter Oh, the clerk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, Ben. Where's Ben at? And is he still hungry? I don't know. But I believe they ended up figuring out.

It was actually a patient in ED. Yeah. Because I was like, it is probably a nurse. Like, they're fucking, they would order food there all the time. It's probably a nurse. It wasn't a nurse. It was like an actual. And I was like, you've just, like, that is just so rogue to me.

I ordered Uber Eats when. Bridget was giving birth not like right in the month because we're there for like 40 hours and I ordered Uberites to the birth suite at the nursey did they bring it all the way up

or do they drop it off at reception or you go down there because I think if you're doing it you just need to be able to go and pick it up you can't be like the other nurses and doctors and stuff they can't be running your fucking

mac and cheese I met him at the door of the birth suite I wasn't going to send bridge down so I went and got it And then, but it like, it smells so good. But this is the... So I ate it in the waiting room because I felt I'm not going to roll back into the birth suite.

Because you can't eat. With some sticky bag, few ribs or whatever I had. You ordered barbecue? I love barbecue. Yeah, but like what a messy food for... See, I thought it was bad enough that Charles ate a fucking pokey bowl while I was waiting to go get my foot amputated off in the US. And then... That's a strange thing.

And then... We had ordered it before we got there, though. But you ate it in there, didn't you? You took food to an emergency. Yeah, we did. We had the whole bag, remember we had all that cutlery? So, but how, did you get seen? Oh, yeah, okay.

So just to close the loop on this. So I ended up, we waited there for about three and a half hours. And I ended up getting through and then they're like, yep, so you definitely should have come in. That was definitely the right call. They, I can, I've got a little photo. I can show you. They put a can of what? Of me.

Of me. It's not, um, not the poops. It's okay. While you're looking for that, can people please let us know in the episode thread? Where did you get Uber Eats? Or just where have you seen Uber Eats being delivered? It was so rogue.

So this is, you actually can't swipe. If you swipe, you're going to see my bloody asshole. You're going to see me bloody asshole. Blood on toilet paper is what you're going to see. So you can't swipe. Yep. Do you want to say it? Are you telling me not to swipe?

Or are you warm? warning me saying if you choose to swipe this is what you're in for i'm warning you so it's just like it's not like oh don't swipe her a nude it's like the shit from my asshole so i'm just letting you know but you're okay with it fucking curiosity killed the cat you know what i'm saying you're okay with it you're just letting me know i'm okay with it i'm just letting you know you're my best friend yeah i've sent it to tim why didn't you want to say you can say you can said you want to say it here did that

did that make it to the camera oh can we blur my phone because I don't want anyone else to say Charles I can show you later but like I don't want it to go on the internet like I've already got a wiki feed like it can't get much worse here's me in the Hopetal oh so we're getting there and they go we've got to put a cannular in straight away

don't be don't do jokes about my pooey bum um they go we've got to put a cannula in straight away because you're going to need like we're going to have to give you a bunch of fluids and all this stuff and then um i had to have a CT scan um which was quite scary um and i They put, like, the dye in me and everything. Like, they inject that and stuff. Anyway, and then we were there until about 4 a.m. She's would have been hungry by and of that. Yeah.

Did Torbsy? No, he didn't. And he stayed with me the whole time. What a sweetheart. Yeah, he was just, like, sitting in that really uncomfortable chair next to the bed, like, poor little mouse. Yeah. But, yeah, he stayed with me.

He was, when I said who's the victim, I can't believe I've forgot to mention talks. Yeah, no, he saved me the whole. I was like, why are you? go home anyway so basically what has to happen now is that i'm not like cure it i have to i know um i have to go and have showing of tony's face on the camera i have to go and um have a colonoscopy like semi urgently like in the next week or two or something um and then uh yeah so like i feel okay but yeah it was just like a bit rough i mean it's taking it easy for a bit.

Yeah. Eating clean, drinking water. Yeah. So that's why I've got like all these drinks here because I'm like obsessed with fiber right now. What was your excuse yesterday when you had four drinks? No, well, yeah. Oh, that's when you probably knew it was. That's actually a really good point.

Yeah, well, I had started. Yeah. The blood had been found. Yeah. Okay. Sorry I questioned that yesterday. I didn't know what you were going through. No, that's okay.

And maybe this is a good opportunity to say you don't know what other people are going through. That's beautiful. Well, yeah, because I didn't tell you guys still later because I was a bit scared. So, you know, when, like, you say it out loud and it makes it a bit too real? And so I was just sitting here like, you know what? Maybe I won't think about it and then, you know? I get it. Yeah.

But as someone who cares for you. Yeah. You wish that I had gone sooner. Yeah. Yeah. And I really love that. If you say, I'm bleeding from my asshole, maybe we won't. finish the recording and I'll just get to the doc ASAP totally fine and that what a great

learning and actually expected and I would say I want to say I'm annoyed that you didn't but like you have a responsibility to yourself to take care of you that's beautiful and you are allowed to take care of yourself that's really nice I just got stressed out mm you know when you like feel stress and then you just like don't do anything yeah and I was like I can stay calm And so I just stayed calm and I was like, I'll get to the hospital later. I'll get to the doctor later. When I've got a very important decision to make and I need to make it urgently, what I do is go on TikTok for four hours.

Yeah. And basically that's what I did except I stayed at work. Yeah. TikTok is the work of me. So true. Yeah. Hi, I'm Carly from Queenby in New South Wales, Australia. Hi, I'm Shannon and this is Ailey.

We're from Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Hi, I'm Rachel from Gallichield, Scotland. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. And that's your shout-out to if you're our champion Tarpers. And everyone in the health system. Good on you. All the nurses, all the clerks.

They need a pay-wise. That's for sure. Mandy Dorn, good on you, Mandy. Gemma Cole. Love to see it, Gemma. Thank you very much. Andrea, Claire, Jessica Goddoo, Robin Patterson, Morgan.

Good on you, Morgan. and Bryant and P.T. Somdi. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon, being a champion Tapa. We love to see it and we can't make the show without you. So really, really appreciate it. And thank you so much for listening about my bloody asshole. These are top confessions. Top confessions, tony and Ryan.com.com.

Thank you for sending them through anonymously. Hopefully the story I just told was anonymous. Yeah, I wouldn't put my name to that. Yeah, no. Or Ben's. You put Ben's name to it. Poor Ben, yeah. I have anonymous. Ben, I can't remember the name.

Oh, that was a fake name. Oh, yeah, it was a fake name. I thought it was the guy that made your booth seat was also ordering Uber Eats. Well, I would have texted him and be like, hey, mate, your food's out here. You've got some Royale stack out of front of you, dog. And half a mac and cheese. Have you had royal stacks before? Have I?

What? Give me the... It's like American Dinery kind of burgers. So it's like they do like mac and cheese. croquettes and like, like, big, like meaty burgers and chips and potato gem. I feel like I feel like you would have had it, but it's pretty good. It's like a chain now. So they've got a, I've got a few, but the food's pretty mean.

I've had it last night. No. Now, where do we get to? Okay, let's just start at the start. Yeah. If you're at a bar and someone comes up to you and goes, I'm here to clean the pool. At a bar. Oh.

What are you thinking? Okay, because I'm a fucking nerd, I'd go, I don't have a pool. I'd be like, I don't have you, got the wrong lady. Someone sent me a fucking message the other day. You're joking me. And it was a fucking audacity. Do you remember that time when I was at Grooving the Moon Bumbery? And that girl was like, oh.

The phone charger. My phone's out of battery. Can I come back to your place and stay the night while it charges? And I was like, yeah, sure. And I gave her a phone charger and slept in the spare room. Yeah. so she could have been your wife she could have been Ashley from Perth never forget hot ash from Perth different ash oh maybe more than one imagine if that was hot ash oh no I feel like

no not at work um so someone someone sends me this movie scene uh and it's a movie and the girl's like oh can I come upstairs to charge my phone and the guy's like oh here's a charger anyway have a great night and doesn't realize and someone had the goal to DM me this video and went you I mean that's pretty good from them that's a niche Ryan reference though like that's that's good from them also has someone stolen your movie idea maybe they listen to this pod and write movies what movie was it do you remember um it was called one hot motherfucker no no offense but doesn't sound like good that was supposed to be funny but it was more mean and I'd like to redact it confession from a

Tapper. So you would, you would have missed the queue. I think so. Oh, yes, I would have missed the queue. Yeah, 1,000%. I met this guy on holiday, she says. Hot. And she goes, little fling.

She goes, where are you from? Great question. And the guy just goes, I'm just to see it to clean the pool. And then they fucked in the hotel. We hooked up. It was hot ass. I bet. The next morning

I see him skimming leaves from the hotel pool wearing the same necklace I'd been tugging on the night before I thought it was a sexy comment but I actually just picked up the hotel pool cleaner I think that's on her because it's not a pickup line said where are you from and he goes

no I just work here and clean the pool and she was like come back to my room well she goes where are you from and he goes yeah the maintenance department and she just went come on dragged him back to the hotel room and it sounds like they had a great time

and I absolutely love that for them pool cleaners need to get gobbed as well and I've always said that obviously we are pro red cross what a great cause donating blood fuck this better be the greatest link of all time

is our second The second most passionate cause is that pool cleaners also need to get gopped. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Thank you. That's very funny. Also the line... I wonder if the Red Cross will approve us using that.

He was wearing the same necklace I'd been tugging on the night before. It's just one of the great sentences you will ever read. I'm also just trying to like the logistics of that. I don't really get. And I don't know what was he wearing? I've had a big night last night. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a lot to take on. There's a lot to take on. But also, how... Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it, like you know when, have you seen the movie snow dogs? And,

no. Like, it's like the rights of the dog. So the main dog is a pool cleaner. And the second dog, she works at the tour desk. And it's a bunch of dogs at work in the hotel. At the buffer. Oh, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Cuba Gooding Jr. James Coburn is one of the dogs. It's got two names and there's only one human on the poster. He was a dentist in like Florida or something. And he goes, I think he gets like, my memory is hazy because that, what year did that movie come out? 1997, 2001.

Oh, I'm going to say my memory's a bit hazy because I'm low on blood. I've lost a lot of blood. No, 2002s. So I haven't watched that movie in 23. years. Didn't need a rewatch that one. That one went to

the back of the DVD cabinet. I believe he is like some like a family inheritance or something. And he has to go to the snow and like look after the property or...

Like if you take care of my dogs, you get the fucking house. $8 million or fucking whatever it is. And anyway, but it's Miami Dentist Ted voyages to Alaska and claims inheritance. But he's,

He's shocked when he realizes that his inheritance is a naughty team of sled dogs. A tetchy mountain man only complicates matters. I deserve a fucking Nobel Peace Prize for the re- Oh, saying you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. That's out. Oh, fuck, it is too. Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that.

Might be back in for 2026. Yeah, but not right now. Yeah, it's so fair. It's hot at the moment. Yeah. But. What has he's got to do with fucking anything? Like the rains on the dogs

Who's the rain? The woman from the hotel. So the rains on the dogs to kind of hold them while he's sledding with them. Like you're holding them. That's what I'm imagining that she's doing with the pool cleaner's necklace. Oh, I was like, where does the pool cleaner come into this? Is this the trailer for snow dogs? Oh, they all get named in the trailer.

Oh, yeah. Oh, a demon. Oh, he winked. Oh, the dogs are a character. See how the dogs are kind of got the reins? See, he's a dentist. Alaska, I hardly know her. Oh, that is not a climate he's used to.

Oh. How do you reckon? People would go as a snow dog. I think she'd absolutely suck dick at that, that she's she's not a working girl she's not but so that is what I'm imagining

oh he's just yeah the necklace is like a rain yep R E-I-N R-E-I-N speak to you believe it or not this is not the funniest

of the two confessions this week and puck her up your asshole because you could be about to shit oh we'll have some fucking respect Have some fucking respect Have some decorum Another confession

I actually You know how I was giggling before at my desk It's because I was reading this That's very funny Okay Another confession from another tarpa Not the one that railed the poor guy And not me

I had a one-on-one Zoom meeting with the hot guy at work So you know They know each other from around the traps And they've been on big calls and stuff we've been put on a project together and it's our chance to get to know each other I think she's been waiting for a moment

to get put on a call with this guy yeah or she's just like oh he seems really cool he's super handsome I'm like yeah I had to fart really bad during the Zoom call yeah so I went to the best way I went to mute myself and I was just like

I'll just keep a straight face and just let it rain yeah who's Lorraine instead of turning off my microphone, I turned off my camera, so he just saw my screen go black and heard this massive fart. She clicks the camera back on and he goes, what? Oh my God.

I'd hang up and be like, I've been hacked. That's funny is it when a celebrity does a kibati comment one and goes, oh, my Instagram was hacked. Yeah, and that's the one thing that Hacker wanted to do Was like that controversial comment Yeah, um, fucking hell Um There's a rock in fashion

If somebody, if someone turned their camera off and then did a fight, you'd be like, fuck, what was their face doing? Like, yeah, like, immediately you're like, well, that can't be good in there. Like, Like, what was their face? Like, she's had to really like, She's going to like, the thing is that the camera was dark and she kept the straight face because that was her plan

but that's what I mean she's like well if I had a known my face was covered I could have really given it some you know but the guy on the other side is like you had to turn your camera off for that like must have been a gnarly one yeah fuck holy shit did she any that and that's all I know and we can't ask follow-up questions because they're annoyingly anonymous um I got it you'll love to see maybe he's a fart guy maybe he's into that maybe I'm not going to yuck someone's yum I think my love to see it Not that we're not all together here

But I think this is really going to bring us together Not just you and I Like especially you and I But like everyone I need some feel good shit My love to see it is hearing Paramore in the wild Oh yeah

I was filling up the car this morning And Ain't It Fun came on And they've been in my real world Do do do do do do But don't you start doing these ones Yeah in a servo Paramour's awesome

The big one in New Lambie I was like Nice I was like fuck yeah And it's pump me right up And then I got in the car And put it on Spotify Nice

Yeah and I liked it What? Yeah That's big for you Yeah So now that's one of my 13 liked songs So that's my love to see

It is hearing Paramore In a servo And fucking rules Well I've got more DJ chat actually For my you love to see it So I think this is just gonna send us

Right into orbit Could I put a 14th song in my liked songs. Well, you might want to. Is it a baby Jay? This is from, no, it's not. This is from DJ Alex Sweeney. And Alex, he sent this through on Patreon.

And he said, hey, Ryan. Controversial. How good's paramour? He goes, I'm DJ Alex Sweeney. I'm a big fan of you and Tony's podcast. I never miss an episode. Great. I really enjoy the way you both chat, make jokes and the topics you cover.

Don't know if he's listened to today's yet. So that might change. He says, Oh, here's a little about me. I'm a DJ who performs completely with my feet. I actually use my feet to do everything, even typing this message, because I have quadriplegic cerebral palsy, which makes it hard for me to use my hands.

Music has been such a huge part of my life, and I've been working hard to, like, build my name in the scene. Just wanted to share how much I appreciate the podcast and the inspiration it brings. And so I said to him, like, do you mind if I share this? And he said, yeah, and he's given us a link of his, mix cloud, which I guess is like SoundCloud, but you can upload your own mixes and stuff to it. Sick. And there's a few examples of his work in there.

Very impressive. And like amazing seeing. Oh my God, sorry, a whole building just shook. Do we still not know what that sound is? I think it's them building the tunnel underneath us. Oh, so it. Isn't it? I think I just said that one day.

Like, it makes sense, but like, is it? Did you say that? Well, because they're doing the thing that connects the... See, I thought I said it. And then Tony said the other day that she said it. And I was like, I don't know who said it. Oh, I'm pretty sure I said it. I don't think that you said it.

Well, the real estate agent next door who was trying to sell the place said it was the wind. And that's not correct. And that's definitely not it yet. They're the villain, not us. Yep. But yeah, I thought that was really awesome. Fuck, yeah. Tomorrow on the show.

I've learned about what someone else does in their workplace. You know how, like, cool workplaces have, like, foosball tape. something like fucking coffee and why did you just like cool i don't is that cool oh no but like it's sort of like this trend happened where workplaces decided they were being cool well i think it's the we work thing yeah yeah but i've heard of a weird perk and i actually went oh yes okay and i think even if it's not for you specifically you'll go i like where their heads at yeah i like where we're at here and i think after listening tomorrow everyone is going to to take these notes and take them to their workplace and say this is what we do now.

Ooh, that's good. Yeah, all right. I'll share that with you tomorrow. Love you, bye.