Toni and Ryan - Toni's Break Up

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Normal or Nah, and ghosting advice. Love ya!! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Tony. This is Ryan. Justin, in case you're new here. That was lame. We're calling Justin, who's in Canada. This could be the wrong number. Oh. We'll see if they approve anyway. I don't know who to say. Tony? Ryan? Hi.

Yes. Hello. Hi. Isn't this a day early? Well, hang on. Would you like us to call back tomorrow? Let's take into account time difference. Are you the wrong day because of your hemisphere? Oh, I could have stuffed it up, though.

You know what? That's entirely possible. I constantly lose track of what day. That's fair enough. You know what? Yep. You're completely right constantly lose track of what day. That's fair enough. You know what? Yep. You're completely right. I just looked at the email.

Thank you. We'll wear a day ahead here in Australia. Ryan was right. Damn it. Yeah. Suck on that, everyone. And that never happens, Justin. Justin, will you approve the podcast?

Oh, 100%. I will approve this podcast. Thank God. He's like, I was only going to approve it tomorrow. It's booked in my diary. Hi, this is Justin from Ontario, and I approve this podcast. He's like, I was only going to approve it tomorrow. It's booked in my diary. Hi, this is Justin from Ontario and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. Have you ever been ghosted?

Because I'm having to decide whether to ghost someone or not right now. Oh, so you're going to be the ghosty, the ghoster. I'm the ghoster, not the ghoster, yes. Right. So you're thinking of ghosting someone. That's not like you. It's not. Although you don't like confrontation, which, to be fair,

is a ghoster's worst nightmare, hence why they do it, right? Isn't that the whole point? Well, yeah, I think so. I don't have to dump them. I can just not call them. But I also, like, as you know, get the guilts really bad. Like, I feel guilty very easily. I've got Catholic guilt without being Catholic.

You're right, this is a tricky one for you. Yes, thank you. Okay, we'll get to that soon. Do we get to decide for you? Yeah, like I need help. I need assistance. I need advice. Do you promise you'll do what we say?

No, because the last time I asked you for advice, I ended up having to text a celebrity. Remember when you made me text Jillian from Workaholics? And how'd that go for you? Yeah, we did chat and we were good friends. Yeah, so you're welcome and I'll be able to help you again soon. Thank you. But first, normal or nah?

I wait with bated breath every week for normal or nah. I fucking love it. Well, this one I reckon could be one of my favourites. Oh. And I'm changing my tune with normal or nah for when it's a nah, maybe for me it's a not yet. No, no fence sitting. You have to be normal.

My answer will be nah, but then I go, but now that someone's brought this to my attention. Actually, let me read this first one and then we'll revisit my theory because this is perfect. Normal or nah for people with penises. Mike Whitebread asks, when you're out and about and it's cold, does anyone else use their hand dryer to warm their hands before peeing? So when you're in the public bathroom, you put your hands in the hair dryer

because then you have your beautiful warm hands to hold your bits. Normal or nah? Now, this is where I'm saying nah. Never done it. Never even considered it. Never knew it was a thing. But you can get into that. Now that I've heard, wow.

I was a nah until yesterday. You did this. Vic Gardens, baby. Why were you at Vic Gardens yesterday? Because I saw this and I was like, oh. You didn't think pop around, say hi or anything? Do you have an electric hand dryer in your? Well, I have a hair dryer because everyone does.

Yeah, but like it's the. And that's warm. Yeah, yeah, but like I could have warmed up your hands. Why don't you say hi? We just crossed the road. That's all right. Okay. Oh, it just seems like an odd choice if you were right there that you

wouldn't you want me to pop in is it oh but just oh well like i'm right near your house last week i arrived at tony's house an hour early and you were um i don't want to say surprisingly because that but you were quite good about it because turning up someone's house an hour early is like not cool. I was fine. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm cool. I had a stressful morning and then I wasn't that stressed apart from yelling at you about something. But apart from that, I was fine.

Anyway, so you did this yesterday for the first time. It's delicious. 10 out of 10. Hard recommend. Okay. So obviously I don't have a penis. Yeah. I'm a person with a vagina. Okay. So obviously I don't have a penis. I'm a person with a vagina.

Yep. So the only thing that I can really compare this to, which you will have experienced before in your life, is when you sit down on the toilet seat and it's warm, which makes me want to throw up. That also makes me want to throw up. I also don't understand, like I get the headline, but the reality of seat warmers in cars?

Yeah. Oh, you can warm the seat. Oh, well, it just feels like I've pissed myself. It makes me feel sick in my tummy. It does. Yeah. I don't like that either. No, it makes my fanny feel hot.

No, I don't like that. And I don't like you saying those words. Fanny. And feel hot um yeah that's that whole sentence yeah sorry okay um graphic warning whilst i agree that what you've said is gross that it's not a fair comparison okay sure so in my mind i'm just like i don't need warmth when i'm doing something that is like clinical like i'm just going to the toilet i don't need comfort in that situation.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but it is kind of nice. I also always have warm hands. You do? Yeah, my hands are never cold. Why is that? I don't know. Maybe I have really good circulation or something.

Is that a thing? But I literally even. Normal or not, good circulation. In for 2023. Good circulation. or not, good circulation. In for 2023. Good circulation. But Mike, white bread. On to something, you reckon. Okay, well, I'm glad that you enjoyed a fancy wee.

I did, and I'll tell you what was more embarrassing. What? Oh, the fact that you were doing it and then you went to the toilet. Well, yeah, the fact I actually did it. But I was going to the bathroom purely to try out this and then once I'd warmed the hands unzipped, I realised I didn't need to really pee that much. So were you standing there with your warm hands on your little willy and then you went psst?

And then you just, well, not even. You're just standing there in public holding your dick. Oh. Like if you're not peeing, you're not really using the bathroom, you're just in the bathroom with your dick out. Yeah. And then you feel silly? Well, yeah, I bet.

Yeah. Yeah. Not cold, though. Yeah, but so comfortable. Normal or nah, calling McDonald's Macca's. Sierra, I'm an American and I never knew that this is what Australians call McDonald's. But since listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast, it's now Macca's for me. Oh, normal. I fucking love to see that.

Yeah. In America, what do they call it? Mickey D's? Or Mickey's? McD's. Yeah, McD's. What the fuck's that? Macca's.

And in Australia, even the app is called My Macca's App. And all of their marketing is Maccas as well. So I don't think there's that for Mickey D's in the US. It's just like on the street. Where's Maccas Australia? They've embraced it. It's Maccas. This is not sponsored, by the way.

It sounds like we're. When this was first pitched by Sierra, I was like, how great to be seen as the unofficial, unauthorised spokespeople of Maccas Australia. I actually am flattered. However, since Maccas stopped selling Diet Coke in Australia, what do you think of them? Fuck off.

I had to get a Coke Zero the other day. How'd that go? It was like flat shit water. And fucking cardboard straw. Thank you very much. I need to know, not that I'm great with grammar and punctuation, but I need to know where the commas go because was it... Are you okay, Kat?

You're spitting over there. Is it flat shit water or is it flat shit water? Flat, comma, shit, hyphen, water. So it's shit water that's flat. You heard it here first, yeah. And that's what I think about fucking Coke Zero. Diet Coke till I die. It Coke.

Yeah, die of a heart attack in 18 months. From the Diet Coke till I die. It's Coke. Yeah, die of a heart attack in 18 months. From the Diet Coke. Normal or nah, after cleaning the toilet with a toilet brush, washing the toilet brush in the sink, Sarah Shaw says, my roommate does this and thinks it's normal. When I heard she does this, I nearly puked and wanted out of my lease. It's harrowing. Do you remember that story that went viral, this is a few years ago,

about that person who put their toilet brush in their dishwasher? Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Well, I'd actually consciously forgotten it forgotten it blocked it out of your memory so thank you tony for bringing it back up that is like fucking just like atrocious like just horrifying horrifying sorry uh but the thought of rinsing it under like i don't really know what the etiquette with toilet brushes is, right?

Because you have to have them because if you don't, it's like disgusting. Well, it serves a purpose. You know, like, yeah, exactly. Like it's not nice to think about but like what cleaning product is. So obviously you have to have it. But you know what I do, and this might be wrong and maybe I'm fucking setting myself up here, but like don't you just use the toilet brush,

flush the toilet while you're holding it, and, like, the flush of the toilet, like, rinses the brush off and then you put it away. And you, like, buy a new one every six months or whatever. When was the last time you bought a new toilet brush? Six months ago. Are you joking? Yeah, I am.

Now, when we moved in, I would never – oh, here we go. Okay, here's my limit. I'd never move a toilet brush to a new house. Okay. Is that fair? When you get a new place to live, you get a new toilet brush. Yeah. But then if the other one gets a bit like, hey, go on,

then I would replace it. But I would never move a toilet brush to a new house because that is just horrifying. Are you – Imagine that coming just horrifying. Are you? Imagine that coming unpacked. Yeah, how do you wrap it? Do you put it, wrap it in a newspaper? You pop it in the bin.

That's what you do. Don't donate it. I wouldn't be doing that. Are you, Tony Lodge, saying that you've never washed a toilet brush? Besides when using it in the toilet. Is that? And then like when I. Are you?

So where do you. So besides when you're using it to do its thing, where do you clean it? Well, if then when I'm cleaning the toilet, if I'm putting like chemical in or whatever, I'll like put the chemical over the toilet brush as well is that right or is that wrong what are you doing what am i doing what's wrong what's going on what are you doing what do you do you don't do anything you don't clean your fucking toilet or your toilet brush i don't know yeah Yeah, that's not my job in the house. I do the dishwasher in the kitchen and the vacuuming. You've never fucking vacuumed. No, vacuuming is my thing.

I don't have many things, but that is one of them. What do other people do? Well, I don't actually know either, to be honest. Well, they're not fucking washing it in the sink, surely. Well, when I heard sink, I was like. Kitchen sink. Bathroom sink. Got you. i when i heard sink i was like kitchen sink bathroom sink got you but when i heard sink i was like that's fucked and then i imagined every other scenario and i was like well they're all fucked it seems like there is no good answer here but then you gotta wash it someplace so maybe you're maybe surely mine is the closest i'd love

to know what other people do yeah oh i really don't want to fucking go viral again. Everyone always is like, oh, she doesn't know anything about toilets. She doesn't know anything about soap. You really found your niche, though, online. Oh, and niche has found you. Hi, this is Justin from Ontario, and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.

Jason Carswell, thank you so, so much. Ashley Plain, Grace Miller, Emily Chatterton and Victoria Cheong. Fucking love to see it. Thank you so much for being part of it. Hope you enjoyed all of our fucking, you know, live streams, blogs, bonus videos. Last week there was a video about me.

Just self-censored. Thank you. It was graphic and you didn't know the cameras were rolling, but then you said, I give it permission to go to Patreon and Patreon only. No Instagram, no TikTok, no Facebook. No screen grabbing and sharing. Oh, yeah.

There's honour among thieves. Don't be a cockhead. I almost had to self-censor once again. That's okay. We're close. Speaking of Patreon, yesterday a new blog post came out, which was the, would you say, Tony Lodge's guide to getting a puppy? Pee-pa preparation puppy list. The three P's.

They take that in university. Pippa, Pippa, Pippa, Pippa, Pippa, Pippa. So check that out, patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. Thank you very much. Love that. So I mentioned just before, ghosting. Have you ever been ghosted? And when people think ghosting, I feel like immediately you go

to like being ghosted by a hookup or something like that. Remember me telling you about The Bachelor that was this week? Oh, The Bachelors. The Bachelors in Australia. They just had The Bachelors. It was critically panned. Not good. Not good.

Not good. So he picks the girl and then they're like, oh, while we're filming you just need to lay low. He just never called her. So he goes the girl and then they're like, oh, well, while we're filming, like, you just need to lay low. He just never called her. So he goes through six weeks of dating and doing the show and he goes, imagine, like, Tony, you're the winner. I want to spend my life with you. Yeah, and they give her a ring and stuff.

And they go, and cut. And he's like, cool, I'll chat to you soon. And just never called her. And what's the etiquette around that, do you think? Yeah. Like, you've picked me on national tv you've said no to 17 other broads broads where i'm on my grandpa who says that oh my god that's interesting yeah a couple of broads yeah there's chat that he probably just banged her after this that final thing and then was like that That's all I came here for.

See you later, sweetheart. Out of Ziggy. Yeah. But, yeah, the stereotype is when you're dating, then you're just like, oh. And you maybe just don't text them back and you go, yeah, I'm just going to let that fizzle out. Would you say it's a soft dumping?

A soft dump. What's the quiet resignation? A quiet dumping. A quiet quitting of this relationship. A quiet dumping. A quiet quitting of this relationship. A quiet breakup. So have you ever had like a friend that you kind of go, you don't really serve me anymore or you look at the friendship like critically and you go, I actually don't feel good

when I'm around you. Why am I doing this? Yeah. And because like if you were going to break up, say you and I were dating and it wasn't working and you said to me, because I've never dumped anyone, I've only been dumped. Yeah, dumpy. Dumpy.

And you said to me like, look, this isn't working. And I go, well, I'm heartbroken, but like I get it. You can only have one girlfriend. Yeah. But like with a friend, if you said to me, look, I don't really want to be friends with you anymore. I'm like, well, you can have thousands of friends. What's one more?

You know, it's like way more. You don't really want to be friends with you anymore. I'm like, well, you can have thousands of friends. What's one more? You know, it's like way more. You don't have like. I've got people that I used to be friends with that I've never broken up with. You just fall out of touch. Yeah. And is that not a ghost, if anything? But then I've got friends who I haven't seen for 10 years who I'd still consider a really good friend. But then I talked to people once on Instagram and I consider them friends. Yeah, it's a murky area. It's a sliding scale. But I know when someone, actually just the opposite of this, and this is one thing that I just don't get about life in general. That's a long list. There are a lot of people who are in their 30s and their mates are their mates

who they went to high school with and they don't like each other. Yeah. And there's a lot of girls that when one girl leaves the cafe, Are there mates who they went to high school with? Yeah. And they don't like each other? Yeah. And there's a lot of girls that when one girl leaves the cafe, they all start bitching about them and all girls are bitching about their friends. And I'm like, do you guys like each other? Because if you don't, you actually don't have to do this. So I like that you're even saying, oh, actually, you know,

we've got different lives. We've got different interests. We don't need each other. Right. There's no foul play. There's no evil, but it's just we can just both move on in our separate directions. I think it's a mature outlook.

Thank you. Thank you very much. So who are we burning? Okay, so basically. Are you going to name names? I found myself in a situation where I'm cheating on someone I really care about who's been in my life for quite a few years. How long?

Great question. Five years. Okay, so it's not me? Cool. No. I was like, who are you starting a podcast with? I've got another podcast. Five years.

My hairdresser, Brackel, right? I've been seeing her for about- Beautiful Brackel. And I've talked to you about her. I love her. We're really good friends. I've been going to her for a Beautiful Raquel. And I've talked to you about her. I love her. We're really good friends. I've been going to her for a long time. Hang on.

How many times have you caught up outside of the hairdresser? A couple. Okay, I stand corrected. Thank you. I thought you were going to be all like, okay, no, please continue. And we chat a lot, like on Instagram and stuff. And we actually, we get along really well, right? And when I first moved to Melbourne Melbourne she worked in the salon I first

went to I went to this other girl and then she opened her own salon I kept going to Braquel and then Braquel moved to two different salons and I followed her to other salons wow that's commitment I really like her and then like when we started doing the podcast and you and I were working full-time during the week yeah then doing pod on Saturday. She opened her salon on a Sunday to do my hair. So this is, yeah, that's, you only do that for a friend. Thank you. For someone that you care about and for someone that cares about you. And the fact you're about to burn this bitch is fucking huge.

Well, here's where it gets interesting. Okay. So her partner is from South America. Right. And through COVID, he had lived in Melbourne for quite a while. Yeah. But through COVID, he was obviously really missing his family and everything.

And he said, like, I'd like to move home. Oh. And she went, well, I love you. Obviously, I'm going with you. Oh, that's beautiful. So they moved to South America together. Would you move to South America for Torbs? Of course. I'd move wherever Torbs was. Like they moved to South America together. Would you move to South America for Torbs? Of course.

I'd move wherever Torbs was. Like not even a fucking question. If Torbs said tomorrow I want to move to South America next month, would you go? I would say I'd probably need longer than a month to figure out the logistics of my life, but of course I'll come with you. Olé. Olé.

Olé. It was the. I've used that for my South American. The tongue. My Spanish. I lie. My Portuguese. Beautiful.

My Spanish. Anyway, so she goes, okay, yep, like, of course I'll come with you. And so she sold all of her stuff, moved to South America, and obviously I was really happy for her, but I was like, well, fuck you. That doesn't sound like you're happy for her. But, like, oh, I've been going to see you for such a long time. I really love, like, our time together when we, like, catch up. I think there's a difference between, oh,

I'll have to find a new hairdresser and fuck you. No, but it's the, like, oh, well, fuck you. Like, I'm really happy for you. But, like, oh, my God. Like, what a fucking conundrum. Anyway, so actually I was invited to her going away party, but I got COVID. Oh, convenient.

Oh, fuck off. You never go to anything. You were across the road from my house yesterday and you didn't come. Yeah, I was busy holding my dick. Okay, so she moved away and I was like, well, I need to find a new hairdresser. So I started going and seeing this other girl, Bridget, who is lovely. She does a great job.

I really like her. And it was actually your wife goes to this salon that's why I started going there um and I've probably seen her like four times but she's really lovely she like follows me on Instagram she likes the pod great we've kind of chatted a bit and like you know we get along fine, we get along fine. Sure. We get along fine. Not great, though. So... Not great, though? Is that fair? Oh, not that it's not great. Like, we like the same music, we watch the same TV.

Like, it's a fine chat, but it's not like a love connection, I wouldn't say. I find myself in a bit of a weird position because Brokella's just moved back to Melbourne. The long lost love returns. This is like the final scene of a season of a TV show. Isn't it? What's going to happen in season two?

Isn't it? So she just moved back to Melbourne. She's like started up her own salon again. Yep. And I find myself in a bit of like an awkward sit show because I've got this new girl on the go. My old girl's come back to town. What do I do?

Like actually, what the fuck do I do? Would you consider Bridget a side hoe or a temporary hoe? But like. She was never the main, never felt quite right, did it? She was a rebound. Yeah, but not because she doesn't do a great job. Not because I don't really like her. She was filler.

She was an in-betweener. But not because she's not. She'll do for now. She's good enough for my needs. Well, like, but because Raquel was gone, I was like, oh, my God, yep, I found this new girl, like, whatever. But now that Raquel's back, I'm like, oh, well, I really like her. We have a great time together.

She does a great job. I, you know, enjoy spending the few hours that it takes with her. And I just am feeling like in a bit of a weird position. Do you need to dump her or do you just need to not call her? Is that what we're getting at here? Because I'll remind you that Bob Salon opens at 9am. And what time is it now? It's 8.58.

We could be two minutes away from a life-changing phone call. So what I, the thing is, right? So because as everybody would know, it takes months and months to get into a hairdresser, like to get an appointment. You're going to keep using Bridget and T. I have an appointment tomorrow. All right, well, don't cancel now, then. So that's what I'm thinking.

Okay, so how long is it going to take you to get into Brickell? Well, I don't know. But so what I, this is, I want to know, right, should I explain the situation to Bridget and just say, like, I've absolutely loved coming here, but, like, the girl that I used to see, we're really good friends, like I'm going to go back to her. Or at the end of the appointment when she says,

should we rebook you today? Should I just go, oh, my hours are changing at work, I'll call and rebook. She knows what you do. my hours are changing at work. I'll call and rebook. She knows what you do. My hours are changing at work. Or like when she goes, like, should we rebook you? I go, oh, not today. Or like do I make the appointment and then just cancel it?

The easiest thing to do is to obviously just book and cancel later. Yeah. But okay. The thing that complicates it, though, is that she does follow me on Instagram. The salon follows me on Instagram. So then in three months when I go and get my hair done again, from not there, if I go to Brickell, then I'm going to look like I've

just ghosted her, which I will have. But I don't want to break because I feel like it's like a really awkward conversation to be like, oh, so I've got this. Like I don't want to then seem like I'm trying to make up an excuse and be like, oh, yeah, like I think I might. Like that's so annoying. Okay. I wish I had a pen and paper to jot down all the things I need to debrief you on. Okay.

Well, not debrief you on, but to ask about. Okay. Fire away. First of all, just to get an insight into an overthinker is a is a because it's a cross-section of my brain because i feel like everyone's had this scenario but not everyone has given it this much thought as you know and we talked about this literally on this episode when someone messages me on Instagram, I consider them a friend. So I make too many friends.

And then I get in too deep, but then when it comes to, like, a normal, natural, like, breaking of a relationship or a tie, not even a relationship, then I get into this weird, murky territory where then I have to fucking have a whole conundrum about whether I should break up with them or not. All right. This is the fucked part about it. Okay. And I know you've never dumped someone.

No, I haven't. I've only been the dumper. Okay, here's the question for you. So do you think tomorrow I should go in there and just behave like an animal so that she says don't come back? No, so she dumps you, burn the place down. Tony will actually ask you never to come back. Oh, well, your choice. Oh, well, if you don't want me to come back. Tony will actually ask you never to come back. Oh, well, your choice.

Oh, well, if you don't want me to come back. If that's how you want to play it. There's an option. I don't know how that option. There's a C. When you've been broken up with. Yeah. Look.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It's making me so sad. Yep. Do you reckon there was a time when you had sex with them and they knew they were going to dump you? Because that's what you're going to do tomorrow. You're going in for that last bit of action.

Oh, it doesn't suit me anymore, but I'll just get one more away before I let him. That's fucking depressing because definitely, like 100%. What a fucking horrible, morbid thought that probably happens. Someone's like, we need to break up. And then they get over there and they're like, oh, hang on. Okay, I'll dump them in the morning. I'll dump them after. I'll wait until this last, yeah, nah, like that last farewell bang.

That is truly pump and dump. You got to pump and dump the hairdresser? Do you want to be remembered as that? Because then she'll do the maths, she'll listen to the episode, and she'll go, oh, that time that she came in and was all chatty, she knew, she knew that that was the last time she was coming in and she just played it off like it was nothing. They're probably looking at my confirmation text going,

she knew that she didn't want to come. Yeah. So how do you feel about that, knowing that you've been pre-dumped banked? So no matter what option I go with. I actually don't hate the being a c**t version now. Did I just say the C word? Yeah. Okay.

I think you should burn the place down. Like verbally. Oh, oh my God, okay. So you think that. And they'll ask you not to come back. And if I know one thing about Tony, it's causing a scene in public. Yeah, that's not true. But could you imagine?

I just, I'm like, I know that you like. When's Raquel's? Can you just not go tomorrow? No, because imagine how long it will take me to get another appointment. No, but that's what, if Raquel's moving back to town, she won't have like a long list. And if you guys are good friends, she'll, she'll get it done. So I've already sent the yes confirmation text to the place. Within 48 hours you have to pay for the appointment.

Tony, I will pay to get myself out of an awkward situation lodge. You know that's not a factor. I'm not that. I can't afford to spend blonde money. Oh, you're getting the colour done. Yeah, it's like a full appointment. Actually, I know that because we've got a joint Google calendar and I've seen the whole day blocked out.

So you're right. I actually think I'm going to go brown tomorrow. Really? Yeah. I know. Everyone's shocked. Okay, first of all. Because it's a shorter appointment.

Big decision. That is a huge decision. Is it? Fucking hell. That's a big decision, right? Massive. Massive. And you're about to go on like a, not like a book tour, right? Massive. Massive. And you're about to go on like a, not like a book tour,

but like you're about to do a lot of press for your book and stuff. And you're going to look completely different to the cover of the book. I still look the same. Different hair. It's not fucking a facelift. Here's the thing. You're going to say I want to go brown and then you're never going to go back. They're going to be like, oh, she hated the brown.

I fucked it forever. You know what I mean? Like you don't – okay, back to the analogy of the – actually, I don't even want to – he tries some new move and then never comes back. She's like, don't put it in there, son. That's over. I'll never take the new bag.

I let him put it in my ass for the first time. He dumped me. That would make Owen brown, you know what I'm saying? I'm thinking of going brown. I don't know what to do. I honestly, normally I have an idea of what I should do. Seriously though, options is one, you go and- And explain.

And explain. Option two is you go and either sort of book in or don't say, yeah, I'll call you later and then just ghost. And just not do it. Yeah, and ghost. Third option, shave your head. I'll come around with the clippers. I'll just do that.

I'll warm my hands first We're already thinking about looking different on the book tour Brown hair, no hair I feel like it's the same It's all the same Wax your scalp But what are you going to do? I don't know

Are you leaning one way or another? I'm a fucking coward You are, you will explain No, I'm a fucking coward I think I'm not going to say anything No, but that'll eat you alive When you post your new hair in a few months Oh god No, I'm a fucking coward. I think I'm not going to say anything. No, but that'll eat you alive. When you post your new hair in a few months.

Oh, God. Because for me, I don't care. I feel guilty about hairdressers that I don't even live in the same state as anymore. Like, I'm still friends with hair. This is what I do. I go in too hard. I'm still friends with hairdressers that did my hair in fucking Bunbury. And every time I post new hair, I'm like, oh, my God, they're probably thinking, why didn't you come to me?

Well, it's fucking eight hours away. I would have thought that every time you post a new hair, new me pic, that every hairdresser in Melbourne goes, fuck that bitch, she preferred someone else over me. Don't do that. Don't do that. You probably, yeah. Fuck off.

I'm not listening to you. Worst advice giver ever. Did you? Okay, so Torbs i'm not listening to you worst advice giver ever did you okay so torbs has followed a barber to different salons he has he has he has yeah did you know at present i've got five barbers you just walk in yeah so there's the guy down from where we record this podcast around there been there a few times uh i've just moved out to Altham. There's a guy there I've dropped in twice. There's these other guys on Church Street that I've – and I reckon just whatever day it is, like if it's a weekday. Depending where you're closest to, yeah.

I'll just drop in. But I would consider all five of them as, in inverted commas, my barber. But the thing is, very quickly, the thing is I feel like you can just go anywhere because you don't need to book. Like you're able to just kind of drop in on a Tuesday and go, oh, do you have time? And they go, you'll have to wait 20 minutes. But you go, cool, that's fine.

Do you want to sit here on my phone for a short back and sides? Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. Whereas like because I have to book fucking three, four months in advance because it takes that long to get an appointment, there has to be an element of commitment. Can I ask that next week we just pencil in a little time and you give us an update?

Yep. Hair update. Oh, Producer Cammie's writing it down. I'm nervous for you. Okay. I really fucking hope she doesn't listen to this. We might have to move to South America. Hope Raquel's family's got room.

Raquel, your husband's got a brother? Yeah. How's he doing? I've got to get Love To See It. Please. Oh, and I don't know if this is just too generic, but my Love To See It is Sam Smith. I mean, last week he did Baby Corn, so I feel like it's fine.

New album coming out, new world tour, and Sam Smith doing big things as well with the corn. The corn with a K like the rock band. But it's corn for babies. Yeah. Like, ABCD. Oh, my God. What's another... I know we've talked about Korn with the Backwards Cave many times on this show.

They are a great band. That was one of my probably first five albums of my life. I wonder if that guy's still got the dreads. He does. What's another song of theirs? Freak on a Leash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Little Bo Peep has lost his ship.

The baby Korn. Oh, my God. I just blacked out. Literally, my eyes stopped working. Okay, sorry. Sam Smith. No, actually, as much as I love Sam Smith, I also don't give a fuck anymore because of baby corn going on tour.

Maybe we should do a live stream of you trying to get tickets to baby corn similar to Blink-182. Fuck, that's funny. Oh, sorry for stealing your Thunderstamp. Howdy. After all I've been through. I have a You Love to See It here from Jared Tapper Robertson. Yep.

He shared this video in our Facebook group. I'm not sure if you saw it. And it was a vlog of him going through my old workplace, Coles in Maddington in Perth. I actually left this for you. I have never loved to see anything more. It is the most wholesome thing. Yeah. So Jared said, this one's for you, Tony.

I was in the area and wanted to give you a little slice of home. I hope you see it. I hope you enjoy it. Show Ryan your old workplace. Love you guys a bunch. You'll love to see it. And it is a video of Jared kind of like walking out the front and then walking through the beeper things at the front of the Coles,

going over to the deli, showing a big pan of the deli where I used my old stomping ground, and going through all the aisles and stuff. And it's actually a really good vlog. So there's only one thing I've loved more than this vlog. And it's the comments and commentary of the blog. People loved it. They frothed it.

Someone said, don't ask for a taste of bologna or Tony might fucking snap. Yep, that's true. People said, I can't believe how big the deli is. So much to clean. It is a really big deli. It did take a long time to clean. Because you said that and I was always like, oh, fucking you, Tony goes to the mail. Isn't it massive? It's actually a really big deli. It did take a long time to clean. Because you said that and I was always like, oh, fucking you, Tony goes to Mayo. Isn't it massive? It's actually

a massive fucking deli. And in the video, all of the end part had stickers over it, but that all used to be seafood. So the entire thing used to all be fresh food. So like on a Sunday morning, you'd have to start at like 7am for the shop to open at 10. Just to start prepping it all.

Just to fucking fill it up. Yeah. Fuck. Now this is a question for people who saw the Patreon-only video. Is that the Coles? It is the Coles. Okay, that's all I need to say. Yep. That's all I need to say. The car park.

Yeah. I sent a I sent a link to the Academy Awards nominations for best short documentary and was requesting people to nominate. Okay, great. Hopefully we hear that coming soon. Are they in the next few weeks, the Academy Awards? Didn't they just happen? I think that, yeah, or something else.

But it's like awards season. Oh, yeah. Well, that's why. They all fucking, they're all the same, aren't they? Anyway, Jared loved the vlog. It was fucking awesome. And people were loving it. And he was like, oh, I actually make vlogs on my TikTok and I go live a lot.

And everybody's following him on TikTok now. He's a fucking celeb. Yeah. He's a Maddington. When I think Maddington vloggers, that's why. I think Jared. Yeah. Anyway, you'll love to see that.

Thank you so much for listening today. Fuck, that went a lot of places. The baby corn and the fucking ghosting. Wow, what else is there? Tomorrow for the video show, Ryan, you had a bit of a... I've been threatening to tell this story for a while. Yeah. But I got into a physical altercation with some children.

It came out. Yeah. There's no way to fucking say that nicely. No, there isn't. Yeah, pretty horrifying actually. Yeah. But what people will be more interested in, we've got a stand-up paddleboard update. You love to see that. Do we?

Maybe, but I don't know. Upside down question mark. Alright, that's tomorrow on the show. Chat to you then. Love you, bye.