Toni and Ryan - Toni's Car Club

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Happy FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS!!! Normal or Nah and Ryan and I draw this years' Secret Santa!!! Fuckin' love ya. Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome to the podcast. It's Tony. It's Ryan. It's Tony and Ryan. Tony and Ryan, and we're calling Josh, who's in Brisbane. Bris-Vegas. Viva Bris-Vegas. I believe that is the show. The song. Hello. Hey, Josh. Hello. How are you? We're good. How are you? What are you doing? Where have we found you?

I'm actually in Redland City in Brisbane, Australia. Woo. Oh, Australian listener. What are you up to? Are you out for brunch? What are you chucking back this morning? Sorry, I've never said that in my life. No, I'm actually making coffee right now.

Oh, I haven't had a coffee yet. I'm vibing a coffee after this, I reckon. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, not to wrap you up, Josh. I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do later. Josh, will you approve the podcast? I sure will.

Yay! Legend. Hey, it's Josh from Redland City, Queensland, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Welcome to the podcast. Happy 1st of December. Merry fucking Christmas. It's fucking Christmas time, cunts.

Pinching a punch for the first time of the month. Is that that time of the month for you? Yeah. Coming up soon, the Tony and Ryan secret Santa draw to see who everyone on the staff here gets for Christmas. Hope you get who you wanted. I better not get me. I hate that guy.

That's coming up soon. But first, normal or nah? All right, if someone starts a normal or not with this sentence, what do you expect? Okay. Okay. Okay. Ryan, hear me out. I don't expect you to understand, but first just listen.

Oh, is it something about spelling? Normal or not being able to spell. Ryan won't understand. I hope you and Rochelle are having a great time. Rochelle says normal or not. Waving at people while driving. If they're driving the same car as you. Rochelle originally thought nah, but my pop does it and I think it's so wholesome now.

Tony Lodge. Can I just say, a new member of the Audi club, do you wave at other Audis as they drive? You're such a wanker. This is big. Yeah, no, you go. If I may, Your Honour. You may.

I've never done this before in my life. Until? What, the Toyota Yaris drivers didn't give a bit of a nod driving past? There's too many of them. done this before in my life until. What, the Toyota Yaris drivers didn't give a fucking bit of a nod driving past? There's too many of them. Yeah, you'd be nodding all the time. Yeah, you'd never get anything done. Yeah, it's like, is she listening to Rage Against the Machine

or is she just nodding at every Toyota Yaris? Since buying the Audi, I do this to every, not even just other people in an A3, to just anyone driving an Audi because I'm so proud of my car and it makes me feel so happy to drive it and really proud. And superior to other peasants on the street. Superior, but just like I'm so fucking stoked to be in it yep that i'm like yo how you feeling right back at you son you must be looking good you feeling what i'm feeling love that q5 more expensive than mine but still good still you know same dealership i

feel like hearing you describe this is when you're at a silent disco and you figure out someone else is listening to the same song you are, you're feeling what I'm feeling. Pretty good. And I honestly have never done this before, but then as soon as I got the Audi, I just went, oh, no, every time I see it, no, never. They're just like, fuck off, I'm in an Audi. Yeah, I don't need to deal with pieces of shit like you. Fuck off. So I'm going to Audi. Yeah, I don't need to deal with pieces of shit like you. Fuck off.

So I'm going to say that I know it's not normal, but it is normal for me because I've started doing this. I'm glad there's another one of us. Do you reckon that Rochelle's grandpa has an Audi? Because I'll drive past him and I'll give him a wave. Rochelle? I probably already have. Yeah, you've probably made Rochelle's grandpa's date.

Rochelle, let us know if your grandpa drives an Audi. And I'll drive down to meet have. Yeah. You probably made Rochelle's grandpa's date. Rochelle, let us know if your grandpa drives an Audi. And I'll drive down to meet him. Yeah. Kay. Fuck, actually, I haven't deliberately set this up for Tony today, but it's all coming up large. I fucking cupped it this week. Nah.

Okay. A little bit. Kay, normal or nah? Telling your dog where you're going when you leave the house and giving them an appropriate length of time when you'll return, even though they obviously have no idea what you're saying. Normal. I do this.

Have you seen those stories online when, like, the girlfriend says, like, my boyfriend literally just said goodbye to my dog for five minutes and then went, see ya, and then left to me? Yeah. That is us now. I'm like, oh, Pippi, just letting you know, I'll be back in half an hour.

Or, like, I'm just going to work. I'll be back this afternoon. Like, enjoy your day. Yeah. And sometimes if Torbs and I are going out together, like, because we'll leave the TV on and stuff, and I'll go, we'll be back this afternoon. Enjoy your day. Yep. And sometimes if Torbs and I are going out together, because we'll leave the TV on and stuff, and I'll go, we'll be back in two shows. Oh, that's clever.

I like that. I like that. So then she knows that if she's watched the news and the Home and Away, then we'll be back soon. Okay. I have since, which is beautiful. Thanks. And they all go, yep, got it.

Yeah. And what does Pippa think of the Home and Away finale? Oh, she's excited, but she's nervous because she doesn't know what's going to happen. Yeah, I mean, who does? Because they got their brakes cut, which is scary, isn't it? And who knows what's going to happen besides the fact they've only got three storylines and this happened in May.

Yeah. So I'm more empathetic to Bridget via the dog BJ. Yeah. So at the moment, Bridget's pretty unwell. And so I was like, now, BJ, I've got to go to work. You're going to take care of your mum, all right? You're going to go in there, snuggle there, sit next to her. You take care of her, all right, mate?

Make her a cup of tea if she needs it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just going to go to work. I'm coming back, though, because he gets real scared he's going to get left behind. He gets FOMO. So I'm like, I'm going to come back, but you're just going to take care of him. Do you think that's a product of being adopted? Do you get that as well?

BJ and I both have that. Yeah. And so – and then I walk into Bridget and I'm like, yeah, see ya. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I literally – even the other day I got home and I said hello to Pippa for like 15 minutes and she gave me a big smooch on the face and I sat on her favourite part of the couch and let her like jump on me

and give me a big kiss. And then Torbs comes out. He's like, how's y'all? I was like, yeah, good. Oh, who are you? Yeah. Oh, you here. Very normal, Kay.

So normal. If it's not normal, what are you doing? You know what I mean? Do you even love your pet? What's that? You know that if this is wrong, I don't want to be right? What's the like, if this is nah, I don't want to be. If this ain't normal, I don't want to be right? What's the like, if this is nah, I don't want to be. If this ain't normal, I don't want to be nah.

If this ain't nah, I don't want to be ya. Then it rhymes. Yep. Okay. Sorry. Normal or nah. Trying to on the fly come up with the same. Melanie, normal or nah?

Turning off the PowerPoint switch when it's not being used. I say normal, says Mel. I turn it off all the time. But my partner gets the shit and complains that he'll just have to flick it back on again. So I don't know if you know this about me. You might have noticed. It doesn't matter where I am. If I walk past a power outlet and there's nothing plugged into it and it's switched on, I'll turn it off every time.

I don't know what – I know there's no danger or wastage or whatever, but it just does me in. Yeah, I probably would do that as well, but I don't flick things off when there's something plugged into it. Yeah. Because a bit like Mel's partner, I'm like I just have to switch it back on again. What's a good example? The kettle or the toaster?

No, I would. If it's plugged in, I'd leave it turned on. It's not on. Yeah, but if you unplugged it, I would turn the switch off then. That doesn't make any sense, but I don't know why. I just do that. But when people do that with the TV, I'm like, but then if you sit down and go to turn on with the remote,

then you go, fuck, I've got to get back up. And normally when you land on the couch at the end of the day that's it um there's this video on tiktok this guy i'll find out his name they're like five second videos and it's like him and his wife but his wife is just him right with the towel yeah and it's like he just lays down in bed and then the wife goes is the front door locked that's me i do that every time front door locked and then the wife goes, is the front door locked? That's me. I do that every time. Front door locked and then Tors comes back to bed and I go, back door? And he goes, I'll check. It's more the like once you've hit bed, you don't want to have to get up again.

You know the only thing that I do always turn off at the wall? The fucking hair straightener. The amount of times I've driven out the driveway and then gone, I don't think I've turned the hair straightener. The amount of times I've driven out the driveway and then gone, I don't think I've turned the hair straightener off. And you drive all the way back in and then you go into the house and then you go, of course it was off. Of course it's unplugged. Of course it's turned off at the wall. You take every single precaution but you still fucking drive home

and go, I better just double check. I know the hair straightener is a thing for you that gets you. Have you ever, like ever left it on or was there a time? Never been left on. Because you know how like the cliche is like you left it on once when you were a kid. And you never, yeah, no, I'm not like triggered by it. I just get you for some reason.

Every single time I go, oh, my God. And I'm pretty sure that all hair straighteners have that like automatic shut off thing. Oh, I thought you were going to say in your mind every straightener has a thing where it can plug itself back in and turn itself on. You're like, oh, not on my watch, man. Oh, I thought you were going to say, in your mind, every straightener has a thing where it can plug itself back in and turn itself on. You're like, oh, not on my watch, man. I have seen that.

Yeah, yeah, I will go and check once more. Finally, ICO. Normal or not, permanently keeping a spare pair of work clothes and a spare pair of exercise clothes in your car just in case at all times. For the record, I work as a sign language interpreter, which can often be like, you know, next to a politician or an expert or whatever. So you have to be quite corporate.

Yep. And for exercise, she pole dances. As you can imagine, the dress code for both of these things is a little bit different to one another. Yep. Yeah, you don't want to rock up with the wrong outfit to either. No. Yeah, you can't just, you know, signing at five

and pole dancing at six kind of thing. I mean, maybe you could. I don't know. Like a Batman, Superman, like she just rips the corporate attire off and is just ready to pole dance at all times. Or she starts signing at pole dancing and she's doing the sign language to Pony by Ginny Wine. Right in my pony.

That was really good sign language. I don't speak sign language, but I can't sign. So I don't think I would ever have, and I'm actually going to talk about this on tomorrow's show, but exercise clothes, like just in case I decide to exercise. I've never. Not relatable. Just decided to go exercise.

No, in fact, I use it as an excuse. I'm like, oh, I'm trying to make exercise clothes. I couldn't go. It've never. Not relatable. Just decided to go exercise. No, in fact, I use it as an excuse. I'm like, oh, I don't have my exercise clothes. Oh, I couldn't go. It's actually so much better. Do you want to quickly walk from the car to the shops? Oh, I don't have my exercise clothes. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do it. Do you remember the time when Bridget accused me of cheating on her?

Yes. So she bought swimwear. Yep. Because we were going to go swim laps in the afternoon. How many times do you think Bridget went zero? Big fat zero. So then she gets in the car and goes, is that a bikini in the back seat? Ryan.

How fucking dare you? What the fuck is going on here? Who the fuck is leaving a bikini in the back seat of your car? You were. You bought it six months ago when we decided to go swimming every week. You had the receipts. You're like, here we go. And you never went swimming.

And she goes, I don't remember swimming. And I was like, well, of course you don't remember going swimming. You never fucking went, mate. And she goes, oh, yeah. No, no, I do remember that. I will say, though, back in my, this is quite embarrassing, back in my fuck girl days, all I would have in the back of my car was a pair of heels.

What? In case I got invited out somewhere because I could dress up an outfit with heels. So what have you got on today? You've got a nice shirt, a cool jacket, jeans. Jeans and a nice top is the classic and I'm just wearing runners. But if you chucked a heel on. Imagine if I popped on a pair of heels with this and a bit of lippy,

I'd be good to go. I could go and get railed, right? Couldn't get railed in this. No, well, that's what I was about to say. I'll stop you right there. Yeah. You would get railed with what you're wearing right now. You're right.

No, I'm thinking about railing you, so I'm obviously. I'm foaming at the mouth. But that's all I used to have in the back of my car was I would always have a pair of heels so that I could go out. Now I can't think of anything worse. When's the last time you wore heels? Non-ironically. Non-ironically.

What? Not as a joke to be like, remember these? Remember these? I actually can't even remember. I have so many lovely pairs of shoes, but I never wear them because I never do anything. Give them to my mum. She'll sell them on Marketplace.

She'll flip them for real. Hey, it's Jess from Redwood City, Queensland, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Shout out to a few of our champion tapas. We fucking love you. Thanks for being here. Thank you. Emma Gambriel-Griffin, thank you so much.

Cameron O'Neill, Chris Torres, love that. Matt Mowry and Dominic Mann, manager of fuckery. Is that a first name? It's Dom's full name, manager of fuckery. Is that a first name? Is Dom's full name. Okay. Manager of Fuckery. Not sure if Dominic means manager of fuckery at the podcast or in their personal life. If he's just fuckery generally. And that's fine.

It's a bit like LinkedIn when you see like someone who has a small business and they refer to themselves as the CEO. I fucking hate that. Like technically I guess you are the CEO but you're also the janitor. Like if you're going to pick, you know, like if you do everything, of course you're going to up yourself on the. Do you want to know my latest gripe about LinkedIn? Oh, my God.

Which is very similar. I just, the thing is about you and LinkedIn is that you post. You're part of the machine. Yeah. You think you're so much better than LinkedIn, but you're a LinkedIn influencer. I like what LinkedIn should be, but a lot of the people are just wanking it up and taking the piss.

There's a lot of good out there. Mr. Ron John. So one thing that's fucking me off, it's pretty much the same as the CEO of the two-person company. Yeah. Who's our CEO? Paper Rock Scissorsy for it. All right.

Scissors, paper, rock. Scissors, paper, rock. Oh, you're the CEO. You're still the muscles though, mate. Yeah. Is when they're a one-person business, which is fine, by the way. Yeah. Or they're like a-

And so common now. Like so many people do that. A consultant or a freelancer or whatever. But they go like, so like my business name, just for like to put on an invoice, is called Ryan John Creative, right? And if I did a post, it's like, so we here at Ryan John Creative, I'm like, there's no we, mate. It's just you.

And especially when you, like mine, because it's my name, but like say if my just business name was called like Content Solutions. Yeah. And it's like. That sounds good. It does sound good. Maybe I'll write that down. Don't steal it.

Yeah. Copyright. Here at Content Solutions, we believe in blah, blah, blah. I'm like. It's you. It's just you, mate, with a laptop, which is fine. Everything now is optics. So if that's what you want to do with a laptop, which is fine. But everything now is optics. So if that's what you want to do to legitimise your business,

I think that that's fine. I think it's so harmless. Like do I look at it and go, I personally wouldn't do that? But if that makes you feel good, then like fuck, who am I to judge? New month, new me. Let me give you my new month, new me. Yep. If you're one person doing good stuff.

Is that something we should do every month? Yes, 100%. Every month we go new month, new me. Yep. If you're one person doing good stuff. Is that something we should do every month? Yes, 100%. Every month we go new month, new me. Segment idea, shut up everyone, I'm writing it down. If you're a one person business that's doing good stuff, I think you're way better than someone who's a 100 person business not doing good stuff. Yeah.

So don't worry about the we and looking big. If you're doing good stuff, I've got your back. You don't got to like what the we doesn't mean you're doing better than I. Yeah, but I mean can you imagine me here at Content Solutions? It doesn't sound as good, does it? I love this and I reckon it's good because of this. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to fake it. I've got your back.

Yeah, okay. What are we doing here? I literally can't fucking remember. Actually, no, I've got have to fake it. Don't lie to me. I'll get you back. Yeah, okay. What are we doing here? I literally can't fucking remember. Actually, no, I've got a few little items. Thank you to everyone who's submitted to the Fuck It Fund. Oh, my God. Some fucking belters in there. We are giving a bunch of tapas $500 each to go towards the thing on their list.

They're like bucket list, but it's the Fuck It list. What have you always wanted to do, but you haven't quite had the funds to just go fuck it, let's do it. TonyandRyan.com.au, get your submissions in and then next year we're giving a whole bunch of people the chance to make their dreams come true. So we're going to kind of share one a month with you and we're really, really excited.

There's some really cool ones coming in. And we want fun shit that you could film, you know, something that we could look at and share with everybody because we want you to be pumped about it. Yeah. Don't send us, you know, oh, I've got to pay my road joy. We're not going to do that. No.

You can't film in a DMV. No, you actually can't. Ryan tried to film me when we were voting the other day and we got in trouble. Yeah. The lady yelled at him and put her hand over the camera and said, you can't film in here. Yeah, so Tony and I didn't know.

But we bumped into each other at the same polling place. Yeah, and I was like, oh, look, it's Tony who filmed it. Don't film in here. Electoral commission fraud. Yeah, electoral commission fraud. That's not what they said. That's pretty sure that's what they said. We're here at the electoral commission.

Do not comply. Also a big announcement on Monday. Oh, yes. Big announcement on Monday. 2023. Tony and Ryan and question mark? I think it's Tony question mark and Ryan. Oh, is it?

Well, we'll have to chat to them. Yeah. It depends on what their name starts with, I guess, as well. Well, I'm all about alliteration. Yeah. But, yeah, 2023, slightly different to 2022, but don't worry. It's all good. Now.

It is the beginning of December. Yeah. And there is at this stage just the two of us. And so, like last year, this year I believe we've decided to do a Secret Santa. Yep. We're really excited because we love a team activity. The fun is compulsory at Tony and Ryan.

No, we're not. We're here at Tony and Ryan. Leaving Coppercot. I have a question. Question. After I got a lot of use out of the present you gave to me last year, you gave me a tile. Yes.

Which you connected to your phone and your wallet. So when I lose my wallet, I can push a button on my phone and I find my wallet. If I lose my phone, I can push the thing. Because I'm losing my shit and it was a phone and your wallet. So when I lose my wallet, I can push a button on my phone and I find my wallet. If I lose my phone, I can push the thing. Because I'm losing my shit and it was a really handy practical gift. I thought so. And you did a great job. And I think what you can do, you can say thanks for the present

and I appreciate this. But how you show that you appreciated the gift is by using the gift. That's lovely of you. Thank you. And actually, before you go any further, because I can sense that you're ramping up to something, when was the last time you used your tile? Because the other day I said, why don't you use your tile?

And you said, well, it doesn't fucking work. It was out of battery, but it's been recharged now. Has it? Yeah. Beep it right now. Beep it right now. Your wallet's on the table. Your phone's on the table.

Beep it right now. Can I tell you the craziest thing? Beep it right now. Listen to this on the table. Your phone's on the table. Beep it right now. Can I tell you the craziest thing? Beep it right now. Actually, listen to this. This is the craziest thing ever. So a hawk came down and took the tile out of my wallet. It's actually almost that fucked. And it literally happened today.

No, it did not. You are such a fucking liar. So I'm so angry at myself because obviously I'm about to school you because you never used the present I gave you. But this morning I'm driving to work and you know how many times I'm like forgetful and not all the time. Sometimes? Yeah, fucking forgetful.

Why do you think I bought you a fucking tile for Christmas? Exactly. So I'm halfway to work. I'm driving Bridget's car and I've gone, fuck, I'm in first today and I don't know if I've got the key to the office. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, I'm going to get all the way in here and just be standing out the front.

I'm in early. Tony might not be up yet. So I was a bit like, fuck. Yeah. So whilst driving, I kind of do that shimmy to get the wallet out of my back pocket. And then I open my wallet and I've usually got the key like tucked down

in. Why isn't it just on your key? I don't have keys. What would I have keys for? Another story. You've been driving Bridget's car to work though. Yeah, it's her car keys. Yeah, but like.

I put my work key on her car keys. That's the only time you use your keys is when you bring Bridget's car. Yeah, maybe. Oh no, I've been, I got another car yesterday. Anyway. So, so I'm driving and I'm like fiddling around with one hand trying to see if the key's in the back of my wallet. Yep. And as I put my hand in, and this is going to sound like I'm really rich and full of-

A dog jumped into the car. I'm really rich and full of cash. I put my hand in and tried to pull the key out and all of the cash and cards in my wallet just like puffed up and whatever. And I had lots of cash because I've been paying tradies to come to the house. And so I'm like, if someone had seen this, it would have looked like I've sneezed and like 500 bucks had just gone puff.

And it was quite comical. So then I shoved it into the glove box. So in my glove box, I've got all my cards, my keys, and just lots of cash. By the time this episode goes out, it's gone. Don't rob us. And the tile came out with it. It's in the glove box downstairs and not in my wallet.

I'm so fucking annoyed. Anyway, I got you a float voucher. How many times did you use it? And this is for everyone listening. If you don't believe that story, which you wouldn't, please comment on today's episode thread and say there's no fucking way. I'm so annoyed at myself. There's no fucking way that happened. Oh, but I use it all the time.

You don't even have it. We'll film together after this. We'll go downstairs. I'm not interested in that. What good's the tile somewhere else? Could you imagine? Someone's on bed. What, am I going to take the fucking float voucher to Coles and go,

can I pay with my shopping for this? So I got you a float voucher so you could go for a float three times. Yep. And you used it once. I've been once. And have you used it the second and third time? Not yet. Why not?

Because I'm planning on it. But it expires after a year. Yeah, well, you gave it to me in fucking March. Yeah, I was going to say, no, actually it doesn't expire after a year. It expires after 13 months because on the card it says it expires January 20th. So Ryan gives it to me and goes, this voucher, it's only good for a year, so make sure you use it. And I was like, oh, amazing.

And then they wrote the expiry and I was like, Ryan, this says it expires in February. And he goes, oh, no, they wrote the wrong date on there and the wrong year apparently. It wasn't that I was late in buying. It wasn't that I promised you this gift and then went and bought it. Well, you couldn't go and buy it because you lost your fucking wallet because you couldn't find your tile and your tile was in the car.

How much was the tile? Like $50, $30? No, it was like $100. Yeah, right. Yeah. So I think the floats for three sessions might have been like $170. So I guess my question- And that was for the $20 limit.

We gave it a $20 limit. It was a $20 limit. Okay, so that was what I wanted to know. What is our limit this year? Yeah, so we obviously both went over. Do we just fucking go 200 and buy each other something sick? What about? Okay.

What? No go. It's not about the money amount. It's not about the money amount at all. I'm just going to say no limit. No, because then you know me, I'll feel bad and I'll go, I bought you a car. There was no limit.

Well, first of all, I need a car. I'm not buying you a car. Second of all. I can't afford to buy two cars this year. If there's a limit of, say, $200, which is fucking too much. It's too much. If there's a limit of $200, there's kind of this implied, like, will I have to spend $200?

Yeah. Because if you found something great there's a limit of $200, there's kind of this implied like, well, I have to spend $200. Yeah. Because if you found something great for me that was like $20, I'd be like, oh, but if it's perfect for me, spend the $20. But you would be like, oh, right, I'll think I've cheaped out. I can't get that. It's not enough. No, but if there's no limit, then I've got no guide. I don't know.

But what I'm saying is the guide is like whether I would like it, not how much it costs. No, but I would be like, oh, but then if you spent. Yeah, but how much? Because our limit last year was $20 and you spent $170 and I spent $100. Okay, so if we say $200, that means $1,000? So what if we go between $50 and $100? So you can go over the $50 if you want to.

You don't have to. But the hard limit is don't spend more than $100. I still probably will. I'm just going to be honest. Because when you say you can't go under $50, I probably will. No, but you won't because then you buy me something like really thoughtful and lovely and then. I have bought you a lot of thoughtful and lovely things over the journey.

You have, yeah. You like to float. Yeah, I do like that. And masturbate in the float tank as we found out. Yeah. Lovely. Are you going to the Lord still? Or did that get postponed?

I actually don't know. I have to check because it's when we're going to Franco, our video guy. Yeah, but I think they delayed the tour. Oh, did they? Or maybe I just fret that something. I don't know. Oh, I have to check. But I've got your Lord tickets.

I've got your musical tickets. Phantom of the Opera, yep. Float tickets. Yep, float tickets. What are they called? Voucher the float tank. Voucher? What have I bought you?

I bought you the tile. I buy you coffee a lot. We buy each other coffee. You can't just throw that on. But I buy coffee a lot. You've bought dinner a few times. I buy you nice stuff. Is it going to be something usable or something sentimental? It doesn't matter.

But I think we do have to come up with a limit and try and stick to it because otherwise it's too uneven. Okay, let's just, you've given out some numbers. I've thrown out some numbers. What do you think? Should we ask the tapas? I actually think it should be limitless. Call me Bradley Cooper.

But limitless means, though, that there is no, like, ballpark. The ballpark is that it means something to the receiver. I'm actually really don't know what to get you, so this is hard. I know what I'm going to get you. In fact, what I'm going to get you. How much is it? Wow, that's the thing. I don't think you can put a price on it.

That's not your friendship, is it? Hang on. You don't even know who you're going to get. How about we draw this bad boy? Yeah, you're right. And then maybe we can start. So I've got a Santa hat here. Yep.

All right. And I'm going to put. Two names in. Tony, Ryan. Oh, you spelled my All right. And I'm going to put. Two names in. Tony Ryan. Oh, you spelled my name right. What would be the other way to spell your name? R-Y-E-A-N? Like the bread?

Once on a maths test in year nine, I got zero out of 100. And the two N's in done were touching each other. So it actually said Ryan John Dumb on a test I got zero for. Why do you get zero on a maths test? Aren't you an accountant? I was. That's not good. I'm better at this than accounting.

I wouldn't want to say that. You should have seen me accounting. No wonder we have a business accountant. So are we, am I drawing it or are you going first? I can go first if you like. Yeah, but just make sure you jiggle them. I don't want you cheating. I'm jiggling.

It's like the dealer of the cards dealing themselves the cards first. I don't know. Don't look in there. It's supposed to be a secret. They're folded. All right, ready? Yep. Don't say who it is, obviously.

Okay. And then I'll pick out mine. Okay, Tony's passed the Santa hat to me. I'm picking out my name. Did you get someone good? Well, because there's two of us, I think because you're looking at yours, you know who I got. Oh, that I know.

Imagine if I put my name in twice. That's why I checked before you put them in. All right, I've got another idea. What? Because here at Tony and Ryan Creative Solutions, there's only two of us. Yeah. I thought it'd be really cute if maybe Pippa and BJ

had their own secret pet Santa. So I thought that maybe BJ and Pippa could buy each other something nice. Well, if they draw each other. Yeah. But maybe we could pick who, because Pippa could buy each other something nice. Well, if they draw each other. Yeah. But maybe we could pick who, because Pippa doesn't have any money because she's only 11 months old. So I would be buying it. She needs to fucking lift.

Yeah, but she can't get a job. You know, it's really hard out there. Employment's down. Unemployment's down. Yeah. It's hard to get a job. No, it's hard for employers to find good staff. Oh, well.

Like there's a skill shortage, mate. Tell Pippa to skill up. Pippa, because with the new Labor government they're thinking about introducing even more free TAFE courses. So she could go and do one of those. But I mean, the intake's not until February. Okay. We'll see who she gets. Do you think that that would be cute? I would have thought

that all four of us should go in so they don't get their separate one. Oh. Because then you could get BJ. I thought Pet that that would be cute? I would have thought that all four of us should go in so they don't get their separate one. Oh. Because then you could get BJ. I thought Pet Secret Santa would be good because then I won't get BJ. Well, I don't think there should be separate ones. I think we should all be in this together. All right.

Put them all back in. All four in? Okay. I'm going to take two out. One is for me. No, take one at a time. Okay. Did you get yourself?

No. Did you get BJ? See, this is the thing. No, no, go, you go. Okay, all right, I'm picking out one. And then I'm picking it now on behalf of BJ. Okay. He got himself. Okay. He got himself.

Okay. Let him go again. Oh, spoiler. Spoiler. Okay, this worked out perfectly. Okay. Okay, so. This will make no sense to anyone on the podcast.

Okay, so my powers of deduction tell me that you picked out me and yourself because I. No, BJ has me and I have you. Because I got BJ and Pippa. Get your wallet ready, mate. You fucking spend up, sweetheart. BJ's got me. I wonder what you'll get.

All right. We should swap. I wonder what he'll get. All right. We should swap. Our dogs will get our dogs and each other. We will get each other. Okay. Fine, we ruined it. Can I swap my ticket so I don't forget? Here you go.

Imagine if right now Bridget and Torbs are on the phone with each other, like organising their own secret centre. Like, oh, should we get something for each other? Okay, so Tony and Ryan have each other. Pippa and BJ have each other. The limit will be the... Does not exist. Okay.

But, like, we're in Raisin. There's something good, because I don't want to... The thing with the $20 limit is that you end up buying garbage and neither of us like shit. No. We don't like waste. I'm saying it's useful. Exactly.

Something useful, something meaningful, something nice. I'm actually crying about BJ getting me. Yeah, that was really funny. I feel like that's not going to sound at all interesting for everyone else. No, it'll be good. It'll be good. Are we good now? So on the not next Friday, the Friday after, we will deliver ourselves.

Yeah, the last Friday. So the last Friday is. The last video show of the year. The last video. Thank you. Sorry, that was really fucking difficult for me, as you could hear. That'll be the 16th of December. Okay.

So we've been hooking you through since yesterday For my love to see it Isabel wrote Oh yeah please This tweet went viral over the weekend And it fucking sent me And oh Ryan I almost called you Alex

You're supposed to be on Oh there's a bit of dandruff on your black jacket Yeah Oh my god How's my hair? Yep It's fine Well don't get me in trouble for not being on

Danifatrol if you're not on Quiffpatrol Quiffpatrol Anyway Tweet from Isabel Rowe A man on the street just commented on my boyfriend's cute dog Pretty sweet That's a great story

And we look up and the man was Ryan Gosling. Can you fucking believe that? Can you imagine that? Someone goes, oh, cute dog. You go, yeah, cheers, dude. But you look up and it's fucking Ryan Gosling. Yeah.

Because so Ryan Gosling is married to Eva Mendes. They're both in, what a power couple. They're both in Sydney right now. And Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher both live in Sydney at the moment because they're married. They've got kids going to school in Sydney. And also, oh, there's another famous couple living in – oh, John Krasinski and Emily Blunt are both living in Sydney

at the moment as well. What's going on? So Emily Blunt and Ryan Gosling are in a movie together, I think. And so their husbands and wives and kids have all fucking followed and they're all living in Sydney. Literally, if you went to the Coles in fucking Bondi, thank you, you would fucking run into them. Sorry, Eva, just grabbing frozen pizza.

So Eva Mendes is an ambassador for something that's similar to the run with. McHappy Day? Yeah. And so she happened to be in Australia. So she was just down at the local Macca's like high-fiving, taking selfies with kids because every year she goes, I'll just go down to wherever I'm living at the time.

Usually it's LA or New York, but now I'm in Sydney. So, righto, heading down to McD's. Can you imagine fucking bumping into Ryan Goss? Like, that is just insanity. And he's a nice guy. Dog guy. He's a nice dog. He loved Pippa. Can you imagine if Ryan met Pippa?

Oh, would she like snort at him? Yeah, but that's how she communicates. Would she piss when he touched her? Can we tell everyone about that or are we not shaming? No, you can't. It's not shaming. She just wheezes when she gets excited sometimes. Every time I turn up to Tony's.

But it's only you. Like, so we had a tradie come yesterday and she didn't wait when he came in. So when I turn up, I give Pippa a big smooch and she just pisses on the floor immediately. She just does an excited wee. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it. Is it good for the ego?

Absolutely. And then I found out that Jane came to your house and Pippa didn't pee and I was like, sucked in. Guess you're not the favourite. Poor Aunty Jane. I got to get her up to see it. Yep. It's from Sheridan Clark, who's a tarper.

Hi, Sheridan. And what was your main takeaway a few weeks back when we reviewed Julie and Julia? That I wanted to move to Paris. What was your second takeaway? Oh, that Julia child was a bit of a bitch. Third maybe then. Okay. Stanley Tucky.

Start the fucking blog. Oh, start the fucking. Yep. Sorry. What was my first takeaway? Start the fucking blog. Do the thing. Guess what Sheridan Clark's done? What has she done? She started the fucking... Yep, sorry. What was my first takeaway? Start the fucking blog. Do the thing. Guess what Sheridan Clark's done?

What has she done? She started the fucking blog. Ah! Sheridan, you fucking love to say that. What's it called? She goes, hey guys, I started the fucking blog, in brackets. Well, it's actually a TikTok providing free educational content. And in the first week, I got 100 followers and 12,000 views and I'm stoked.

Holy shit. I can confirm she now has one more follower because I'm on the bandwagon. Yeah, what's her at? Let me open my TikTok right now. It's Mission Think and Sheridan. Now, you know how sometimes we get offended how smart people listen to the pod and they say we're like a brain break? Yep.

So Sheridan is a law academic. Can we just take a moment and think about that? Holy shit. Does she have a PhD? Sorry. Like a... Sorry, I've just followed Mission Think back on TikTok. So she also marks like academic law essays and stuff.

Like she must work for a university. It's like all the smart people. She like reviews their work and blah, blah, blah. So she's like given career... So she's smarter than all the smart people. So she's giving and blah, blah, blah. So she's like given career. So she's smarter than all the smart people. So she's giving like career advice for people in the legal profession, people who are studying law, like tips on studying. And so I was like, it was a bit of an open mic.

But it was like, start the fucking blog, man. That is amazing. And all of those things, they can just tick away in the background. They don't have to take up too much of your time. But if you commit to one a week or one a day or whatever you can manage. She's churning them out. But whatever you can manage, whether that is 100 a day or one a week, that's fine. And one of her followers is Ryan Gosling who said, love the content, love your dog.

Love that dog. Yeah. Love that dog. That's not a song. Cool. Great job, Sheridan. Fucking love to see that. Love to see that.

Tomorrow is a video show. Video show. And we have your family traditions that you – actually, I wouldn't even say family traditions. Family norms that you thought were everyone norms, but it turns out it was just your family. And I don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves here, but I will say that Tapa Shan has what I would describe,

everyone can decide if it's the creepiest uncle you've ever heard of and she just thought it was normal. Okay. Do we need to put a warning for tomorrow's show? I haven't seen the story. Find out tomorrow on the video show. Look and listen. Yeah, and keep me with debate, folks.

All right, we'll chat to you then Look and listen. Yeah. And keep me with the baby, folks. All right. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.