Toni and Ryan - Toni's Heartbreak

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Guys... I may never recover from this. Love you. [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. We are calling South Australia at Renmark. And I've actually got a story about Renmark. Renmark? Is that Denmark? No, you're thinking of Denmark. Do you know for ages I thought that princess blah blah was from Denmark in Australia and not the country Denmark? That also has confused me a few times. Yeah.

Who are we calling? Christy. Christy. Hello. Hi, Christy. Hello. Hi, Christy. Hi. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. Hello.

Now, Christy, did you go to the local Renmark High School? Because Altham High School and Renmark High School were like, what do you call it when you don't like it? Rivals. Rivals. Oh, really? Yeah, I did. Oh.

She didn't even know. Yeah. A rivalry when someone doesn't know is just you being a bitch. Our volleyball in high school, our high school team played their team all the time. Oh, did you play volleyball, Chrissy? I was going to say, I did actually, and I was about to say, if you're talking about volleyball, that would be the only place I would say probably I cared. Yeah.

Well. Okay, you still didn't quite know about it, so I've got some work to do. That's about volleyball, that would be the only place I would say probably a kid. Yeah. Well. Okay, you still didn't quite know about it, so I've got some work to do. That's okay. What's the younger generation? Are they still punching on the South Australians? What's going on? They've got to fire up. I reckon that maybe from when you graduated in 2005

to when Christy maybe was at school, maybe there's a bit of difference. I hate that you made a joke about how old I am but got the year right. But I thought I was about right. Christy, what year did you graduate? Do you know what's a bit worse? In 2005. Oh my god. Okay. Oh, maybe

you guys slept together. I was just about to say that. In South Australia, I think we're more against Heathfield and Brighton and things like that. So that's the big talk in Redmond, I think. High school volleyball chats is really getting me going. Wow.

Strappy Bruce. Christy, would you mind approving this podcast? I would love to. Woo! Fuck Heathfield. Spike it out of there. Don't say that. Okay.

Hi, it's Christy from Redmark in South Australia, and I approve this podcast. All right, just to bring everyone up to speed. Yep. Before we've hit record, I've sneezed twice. We're currently at number two. I feel fine, but I just know that I usually sneeze three times. Within yourself, there's a third coming. But it doesn't...

You don't look like you're about to sneeze again. You know how normally when someone's got another... Like that? No, but that's horrifying. That was my juice face. It's like the red, like, wet eyes that people get right before they sneeze again. I don't know if you've got another one in you. No.

Stay tuned. But then where is it, though? More riveting fucking content coming. Yeah. It's really good stuff. We put the best gear at the start of the episode. It's only going to get worse. I think it was your You'll Have to See It on Monday.

Yeah. Remind me of the universal gag. So this guy posted a tweet that said, I carried a cake through New York City and the universal gag of people going, oh, is that for me? And that he said it gets funnier the, like, harsher you are, that people are like, is that for me? And instead of going, oh, yeah, you go, no.

And they go, oh. And if you have to say the line, I was joking. Just kidding. Yeah. But also often if you go, no, the person's already kept walking and they have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Yeah. Or they probably go, how was your day today?

And you go, not good, man. They wake up in the middle of the night and they go, the cake wasn't for me. Yeah. Or just like, I was joking, but then by the time I went to explain, he had already gone and now he thinks that I thought. I thought, oh, yeah. So it's pretty good.

I think that's a real winning combination of a day. I think being harsh is also, you're kind of like, I don't want to set the precedent that this is funny. But, of course, when you're walking, the next person hasn't learnt the lesson from the guy in five minutes. There's no lesson to be learnt because you don't even see it happen. Georgie, who's a tarp, listens to the show. Oh, hi, Georgie.

When I worked as a barista making coffees all day, inevitably you spill some milk. Oh, fuck. Oh, you hear it straight away, don't you? Every single time I did it. Don't cry over it. No, he's cried over spilled milk. And because she's at a cafe, it's hospitality, customer service,

she just goes. Kill me. That's the hard part. Like I said yesterday, it's the recovery from the, like that you know you've got to do the laugh and you know that you've got to just, like, keep breathing through it. So it was a flat white, was it? Yeah. Fuck.

Danny, I work in a call centre and, you know, when you're, I guess you're calling up insurance or travel, there's always, like, and is there anything else I can help you with today? Yeah. And it's always, like, who calls for, like, a list of stuff? You're usually calling for, like, one specific problem, right? Oh. It's like, oh, I've got a bunch of banking issues that I need to resolve,

so what's next on the list? Yeah, that's fair. Danny, I work in a call centre and I ask, is there anything else I can help you with? And every day a few people go, ha, tonight's lottery numbers would be great. Oh, fuck. The amount of fake laughs I've done is forcing me into insanity and onto jobs websites.

You know, one that my mum used to do a lot was, like, if she ever, because back in the day, you know, you paid everything with cash. Yeah. And she would always, like, hand over a handover, like, say it was a $20 note. Yeah. And the person would go oh yeah thanks did you go oh be careful the ink's still wet like what like as if she'd printed it herself

like it wasn't real money or like oh fresh one like not only is that annoying but it doesn't even it's not even really but she used to say it a lot like you get embarrassed when she said it oh I just probably never really knew. I still don't really know. And so I'd just be like, oh, that's just something people say and then no one else says it. And I was like, oh. So you go going, oh, that's like an adult thing and then other adults are like, nah.

Yeah, like I'm going to get to a point in my life where I need to understand what that means and it still hasn't come up until right now. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so she used to say that the other one that she was a fan of was the like, oh, check savings or credit. And she'd go, savings, and then they'd go, oh, more like spendings. She used to do that one a lot.

And I think because she was really charismatic. She sounds like it. She just sounds like a real charmer and comedian. But it does feel more charming when someone's, like, nice and funny about it. I think it's worse when someone's like, oh, yeah, no, you're just crying over spilled milk. And you go, well, you just sound like a dick.

Yeah. But, yeah, so she would always say stuff like that, which I. The big twig has messaged through. The big twig. Without fail, when I am late to work, my co-workers at the office, when I rock up, go, oh, good afternoon, as he rolls in at four minutes past nine. Yeah.

And what do you say back to that? That's a classic, eh? And then, again, it's like do you explain yourself? You go, oh, train was running late or someone was parked in my car park. Or, you know, like do you bother explaining or do you just go? The big twig said I fake laugh and utter a almost and then inside cringe and cry and go to a jobs listing website and also try to leave. Yeah.

We had to ban in our workplace saying like, oh, half day. Yeah. If you left like a minute before five o'clock. Or in breakfast radio that was as well. Because the breakfast team would get in at 4 in the morning because they're leaving at lunch. You're like, oh, no. Put it at half day, mate.

Just half day today. Make sure you put in your annual leave and you go. But also everyone says that to you every day. Yeah. They think, yeah. Yeah. And they don't know how many people have said it. It's like the cake again.

You think that you're the first person that has made this joke and thought of it, but you're not. You're the 12th. Yeah. Like it's quite nice, those strangers trying to be friendly, I guess. That's a nice touch. When you think about it, it's that people actually want to say something nice, that people are inherently probably like not too bad.

That is fucking annoying. I don't know if you ever got this in the radio days because you were an engineer, but I got it a lot. Whenever someone goes, oh, Ryan, you know, what do you do for a crust? What do you do for work? And I go, oh, I work at a local radio station. And they go, you got a face for it? Or they go, I should work in radio. I've got a face for it? Or they go, oh, I should work in radio.

I've got a face for it. Yeah. I actually did get that and I was like, yeah, I'm not on the radio. Like I could be in any job because I'm not on the radio. Like so then when you consider, oh, I've got a face for radio, like you could do any job because. Yeah. Oh, you've got a face for an accountant because you're not on air.

Because you're not on the TV. Yeah. Oh, I've got a face for an accountant because you're not on there because you're not on the tv like yeah oh i've got a face for accounting like what does that mean and it's sort of like i know you're trying to be funny but it's not funny i know you're trying to be nice but it's lame but i also know you're insulting my face yeah you know what i mean yeah oh thanks yeah what do i uh yeah yeah yeah it's kind of a mishmash of being a jerk. Yeah, so I don't know how you respond to that other than be like, here's Katy Perry. Yeah. Every day except for Friday we've got a face for podcasting.

Like, is that what it means? Yeah, what does that mean for our faces on? On Fridays. We get hotter on a Thursday night and then on a Friday it's fine. And then what happens after today's episode? Back to terrible. Oh, should we make out while we're both hot? Oh, yes.

That's such a good idea. To be honest, I've sunk right now. You have? What happened to you? Yeah, I don't know. Last week I snapped that wheel off, so maybe. We're running out of furniture at Tony and Ryan HQ, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, it's Christy from South Australia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. That's tarpers, Tony and Ryan podcast. Every single Patreon, no matter what tier, their name is scrolling along the bottom at the moment as well, every video show, so keep an eye out. But a few of our champion Tarpers, Gloria Olsen. Love to see that, Gloria. Thank you.

We've got all the Olsen sisters. I know. Alyssa Evanson. Thank you, Alyssa. Bella Burke. Good Thank you, Alyssa. Bella Burke. Good on you, Bella. Alice Brown. Blake Cubberley.

Sorry, are these ordered alphabetically? No. Okay. No, that's actually just a coincidence. Coincidence chat. Alyssa, Bella, Alice, then Blake. So not really. AB, AB.

ABAB. ABAC. ABBA. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Not really, but like A-B-A-B. Ab-ab. Ab-ab. Ab-ab. Oh, dancing queen. Come and see on my dancing queen. Just your penis doing this. That's the Bee Gees. Yeah, it is.

But Bee Gees. Mabel loves the Bee Gees because she loves anything high-pitched. Oh, yeah. And I do the full, like, I... Well, you goddamn... That's so cute. She loves it. She loves pulling my glasses off and putting them in her mouth. Yeah.

And it makes me laugh so much because I, like, put her legs here and I hold her back. Yeah. And she, like, does little sit-ups to my face. It's so cute. She loves you. She's just my little BFF. Yep.

Anyway, speaking of things that you love, I want everyone to have a little bit of a think about the three things in your house or your life that if your house was on fire, the three things that you would kind of run back in and grab. And I think that these games need rules because everyone goes, oh, my wife, my baby, whatever. Let's assume people and pets are safe. Okay.

You know. So Bron's in, Mabel's in, Bridget's in. Bridget's in. You're all good. I don't think this is the case anymore, but, like, back in the day before, like, the internet, it would be like get your birth certificate and the passport and that sort of shit.

But now I'd be like fucking burn it. Well, I mean, as someone, like, very anti-admin, me, I do think, like, fuck, I mean, if I'm grabbing something from where my passport is, I'd probably just grab it at the same time. Does that count as two? I don't know. But, like, if I was like, oh, I've got to get some sentimental thing

and the passport was right next to it, I'm not going to go, oh, I won't grab it. Like, I would do a big. Can I preempt something that I would take? Because we've been pondering about this and we're both not like big things people. And nothing makes you realise you're not a things person like thinking about it.

Both of us have come in today like, fuck, we've had an existential crisis about the stuff we hate now. There's nothing in my life with any meaning. Except your fucking Libby Haynes art better be on there. That's a good point, actually. That's a new addition. If I find out your house is burnt down and you've got your passport out the front and that painting burnt, I'm going to be so fucking pissed off.

I've got my birth certificate and my passport and no Libby Haynes original. That would be annoying. One thing that I'm going to be really big on, I've decided as a dad. Oh, beautiful. Is that, so when Bridget grew up, they never had family artwork or paintings on the wall. Like kids' paintings? Yeah. Why?

Oh, they just didn't and they moved around a lot and, I don't know, it just wasn't a thing. Yeah. And I'm like, no, no, when Mabel comes home with her shit-fucked finger painting. Oh, it's going up. Frame it, get it up there. Straight away.

And I think anything else. My mum was like that too. Yeah, and I love that. I love that. Yeah. And I think it's, My mum was like that too. Yeah, and I love that. And I think it's like encouraging that like, oh, when I'm creative and try stuff, like Dad loves it, so I'm going to like keep doing it. Yeah. So I feel like that first, whatever that first shit thing is,

like even though I haven't seen it and it doesn't exist yet, I actually already know it's my favourite thing. Totally. And so I feel. I'm not so worried about Libby Haynes now, are you? I mean, Mabel's not charging $5.99. The price is right. True.

But I feel like, because I guess that's the point, right? What can you, like, not really replace? Yeah. You can buy another fucking couch or whatever. Yeah. But you can't rebuy that. I keep saying shit finger painting. Mabel's going to listen back to this when she's older and she goes,

what the fuck? My finger paintings are awesome. Oh, you said you loved it. It's on the wall. It's still on the wall now. It's still on the wall. But I think I realise the same thing, that I don't really – I don't have a lot of, like, fancy things.

There are things that I would grab naturally for convenience, like a passport or a birth certificate or something. But then I've got some sentimental stuff, like, from my mum. So, actually, I've got, like, a shoebox that's full of, like, birthday cards from my mum. That's nice. And, like, little scraps of paper that I wrote love you mum on that she kept that now I have.

Yeah, Bridget has all the letters I wrote her when we were in our courting phase. So, likeget has all the letters I wrote her when we were in our courting phase. So, like, it's really nice, right? It is nice. And so I've got all this stuff, like, from my mum. And my mum used to do this thing where whenever she bought me a book, which was often because I was, like, a really big reader as a kid,

she would put, like, notes in the book and it would say, like, are you up to this part yet? Or, like, and so then, like, as I was reading it, I would get to, like, a hand part yet or like oh and so then like as i was reading it i would get to like a handwritten note from my mom and i like have all of those that's cute i wonder if my mom did that i you probably would have never got to the point where yeah i put them in the book yeah in your book on page three i wrote it in there and i still never heard anything i'm like interesting oh no, interesting. Oh, no. Yeah, thanks for the notes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway.

That is really nice, though. So I've got lots of that kind of thing which I'm like, well, I'll never get that back again. So here's a question for everyone. Cristiano. Including yourself. Yep. That's like a great, I love that.

But it like, why does the house need to burn down for us to like give a fuck about that? To care about that, yeah. But like, why is it in a shoebox in the bottom of the cupboard? Yeah. Oh, you guys should put it up. Well, it's like if these stuff mean things to us, which they do. Like, we should enjoy them.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good point. Because when you move house, you'll be like, well, obviously I'm taking this. I've got to find a spot for it. But I'm guessing that spot is going to be taking it out of the cupboard. And putting it in the new cupboard. Yeah.

In the same shoebox. Not looking at it for 10 years. And I don't know. I mean, you don't maybe want all your walls to have these little, like, tear-off notes and stuff. Yeah, because I probably cry all the time. Yeah. So depressing.

Making my cup of tea. It's just this, like, really sad note on the wall. Oh, my God. Sorry, I can't deal with that. I don't want to do that. So anyway. I don't know what the answer is, but I feel like we need to. You want to enjoy it.

Or at least honour it more than putting it in the bottom of the cupboard. Maybe I could make like a scrapbook. Oh, that'd be nice. And then you could flick through it when you wanted to. Anyway, we can talk about this. What do you think other people listening would have? I reckon people would have sentimental things like that or maybe like, you know how it's a big thing for people

to have the first like teddy bear that they were given when they were born? Yeah, I've got a blankie that I've had. Their birth teddy or their, yeah, something like that. I had a blankie was my thing, it was my blankie. Yeah. So I, we're, like, Torbs and I, my partner, we've recently bought a house and we're going to be moving very soon.

Sorry, who's moving? Yeah, so I'm not moving. Well, I am moving, but I'm not doing the moving. My partner, Torbs, he is going to be doing all of the heavy lifting and transferring and packing. And so we leave for the U.S. for a month in, what, three, four days? Yeah. Next week. Dallas next Thursday. in, what, three, four days? Yeah. Next week.

Dallas next Thursday. Yeah, yeah, see you there. Lone Star State. We normally wouldn't even start packing or thinking about it this soon, but because I'm going away, I'm kind of like whatever I am taking to the US will go with me. Everything else will get packed up, whereas normally when Whereas normally when you're packing you go, oh, well I'll need clothes for the next month.

But I can literally pack my bags for the US and then Torbs can start packing all of my stuff. Yeah. And I started thinking about like, oh, fuck, that better make it to the house. So is he making editorial decisions on the fly? Well, I don't think that he would get rid of anything. It's more just me being a control freak thinking like,

I hope that shoebox makes it there safely. And so then when I started thinking about all of the things that I like wanted at the new house, this is where this discussion came up where I was like, what would I take in a fire? And so I've got that shoebox of things. I have a ring of my mum's that I would probably really want to grab. Have you seen my wedding ring?

No. Fuck. No, that's lost. Yeah. For sure. But I have this spoon that I got given to me when I was a baby. Is this the ducky spoon? The ducky spoon.

We've heard about the ducky spoon. Well, I actually have just sent you a photo of it, but it is my favourite spoon in the world. And if that spoon didn't, like, so normally when we move house, that spoon actually goes, like, in my handbag. It does not get packed with the kitchen stuff. When we move house. Do you want to take it to America?

No, well, I wouldn't risk it. I would not risk it, but I would never, ever let it be moved with, like, the other utensils. Do you use it much or is it more of a sentimental? No, I use it all. So, like, if we're eating anything that requires a spoon, like, that is the spoon that Torbs will hand me or that I'd grab out of the thing.

And we have other teaspoons, obviously, and, like, if my ducky spoon is in the dishwasher, I'll be, like, really upset that I can't use it. But anyway. Where's the ducky? It's just from the childhood? So I think that my nan bought it for me, like, as part of a set. Is there anything more nans than spoons?

Right. And it's, like, a sterling silver ducky spoon. It looks, I don't want to overuse the word thick. It's good quality. Like, it's not one of those, like, malamine, like, Peter Rabbit spoons. It's, like like a silver spoon. And anyway, and it was a spoon, a knife and a fork. And mum and dad like had a barbecue and they were putting heaps of stuff

in the bin and the fork and the knife got thrown out. So all I have left is the spoon. So, I mean, if there was a fire. So this spoon, I was thinking about it, and this spoon is actually one of the only things in my life, aside from things from my mum, that I could not replace if I. You couldn't, like you said, there is no replacing that. Like there would be nothing that I could buy that would be the same as that

and just have the same. And it's not like because my nan gave it to me, I don't really know her that well. It's not sentimental in that way way but it's just my favourite. It's sentimental for you. It's got the perfect amount of spooniness in it. It does. Yeah, it's just a great fucking spoon

and so I realised that that would be my favourite. Now, I know it's called the little ducky spoon. Is that definitely not a rabbit? It's a duck. It's a duck. I think it's a rabbit. No rabbit no it's a duck it's my ducky spoon i think that's a rabbit it's a duck may i yeah producer i think you're thinking it's facing the wrong way it's a duck is it face sorry i could have sent this to you producer cam sorry it's a duck. Is it facing?

You can see its little beak. In the picture and it will be on the thing there. You can see its little beak doing this. You can see its little beak doing this. It's like looking behind it. I think that's a rabbit. And what you think its beak is, is its ears. No, it's like going like this, like ducky. It's a little beak going backwards.

Tony. No, I'm like going like this, like ducky, like it's the little beaks going backwards. Tony. No, I'm not doing this. It's not. Tony. This isn't gear, and I know the little ducky spoon means a lot to you, and I see you're handshaking there, but I think that's a rabbit. No, guys. Tony, I think it's Peter Rabbit.

Yeah, it's definitely Peter Rabbit. Guys, it's a duck. Guys, it's a fucking duck. Give me my phone back. How long have you had little duckies? Literally since I was born. Guys, it's a duck. Tony.

I'm going to cry for you. It's a duck. It's a duck and it's going like this. See which way his face is? Yeah, because it's looking behind itself. Tony, the whiskers on the front. That's just the hair. Tony, it's a rabbit.

I think we've heard about the little ducky spoon many times in this podcast. And you've talked about it many times off air and you've loved it for 29 years. And it's definitely Peter Rabbit. It's a little ducky sweetheart i'm gonna cry for you there's a little but you see why I look like a duck, though? Not really, though, eh?

Has Torbz ever mentioned it? Has Torbz ever seen it? I wonder if he just, I just was saying duck. No one's ever, like, I just called the ducky spoon and it's the ducky spoon. Guys, I don't really, I don't think. But it's like a duck because it's going like this. No, that's these ears, like, coming off the back. There are really famous optical illusions about whether it's a duck or a rabbit.

He's looking up. You're seeing that. a duck or a rabbit and you're seeing that. This might be the worst day of my life. I'm really sorry to. What will I call it now? The wabby spoon. Doesn't sound the same, does it?

I actually, I don't really know what to say. How are you feeling? I don't feel great. I've broken another chair with my anger. This is warranted anger, if it makes you feel any better. Guys, what a day. It's a dark... I've heard you talk about the ducky spoon many times. I've never seen it before. I knew it was ducky spoon because your housemate used it in the share house.

Yes. And it got lost and I had to find it in the bin. Fuck that housemate. I know. No wonder. Who was the housemate? It was he. He was looking for the rabbit spoon.

Yeah, he was probably like, as long as I don't throw out a ducky spoon, it's good. But I just threw out a rabbit one instead. Sorry, it's even funnier that your chair's broken and you've shrunk from 5'2 to 4'11 during this chat. Oh, and someone goes, has anyone seen my ducky spoon? Everyone's like, nah. I saw one with a rabbit the other day. Is that the same one? Oh, Tony.

I'm sorry. Well, luckily we brought this up because I'm going to say to Torbs, make sure you move the ducky spoon. He's going to go, I didn't see one of those. I didn't see nothing. Threw out some shit rabbit spoon, though. You know what? I can't even call my mum.

Like, I can't even be like, what's going on? Not that I would ever accuse your mum of lying. I think that I just called it the ducky spoon, like, as a little kid, and they just went, the ducky spoon. I actually, I don't believe this. It's not I can sort of get but it's just it's just not it let me look it up duck or rabbit illusion yeah I have seen those cam but I just thought that I wasn't that stupid.

I'm really sad, guys. Are we still on? Because I think I need some fucking mental health leave. I've just Googled Peter Rabbit spoon. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. In other news, if you lost it, you can get another one for $26. This is so severely traumatic.

I'm going to call my therapist. This is fucked. I'm severely traumatized. I'm going to call my therapist. This is fucked. Okay. I'm going to get love to see it. Well, for the record, for those who aren't watching, we're all three of us are crying. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.

I'm so sorry. Look at my hands. I'm just... I didn't realise that something could be the saddest thing and also the funniest thing at the same time. Oh, there's one for 24. We could get a whole set for a hundred bucks. Yeah, do they have the fork and the knife?

They actually do. Fucking hell. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm just going to have to deal with that personally. Hey, no. We all went through that together. I saw you into that tunnel. I'll help see you out.

Thank you, mate. Let me go first while we compose ourselves, whether you love to see it. Oh, this will bring us back. Is yours quite funny? Oh, it's not funny. It's wholesome. It'll bring us back.

It's what we need right now. Okay. It's from Kate. Hi, Kate. Hi, Kate. Ah! I'm sorry for laughing. I don't really know what to do. Me neither.

I'm conflicted. Like, it's the weekend. I'm going to go drink. I don't know. Kate. Hi, Kate. After many years of waiting for the right house with a big backyard and knowing I'll have the time, I finally got a puppy.

Have a look at the little guy. Oh, hi, puppy. And I'm going to butcher the pronunciation. It's like an Alaskan Malamute. Malamute. Malamute. Cross German Shepherd. Are you sure it's not a dog?

Oh, God. She goes, I've just bought a dog. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's a rabbit. To be fair, I last week thought rabbits grew into kangaroos. That is true. Fuck, this show's got some issues with rabbits. Yeah, fuck. He's an Alaskan Malamute Cross German Shepherd.

Beautiful. I need help naming him. I currently like Augustus. Augustus. Or Teddy or Bear. I'm also a teacher, so coming up with boys' names is hard. If you know, you know. Yeah, because you meet all these kids who you fucking hate

and ruin names for you. I like Augustus.. I like Augustus. I really like Augustus. I also like Bear for a dog. What about Gravy? Oh, you've got your list of names. Barkley, Ralph, Risol, Colin, Frog. Frog's a small little froggy.

Yeah, like Cooper. Gravy. I love Gravy. Reuben, like the sandwich. Yeah, like Cooper. Gravy. I love gravy. Reuben, like the sandwich, not like the name. Okay. Pepperoni. Cal. Are you sure you don't want to give away all your names in case you get another dog?

Cal, short for Calamari, not like Calvin. Or like Eddie, but it's short for Edamame, not for Ed. What if you got two dogs and you got Cal and Mari? Or like Cal and Vin. And I was like, Calvin. Calvin. Calvin. I'm on the record as saying I like gravy and I like bear.

I like bear too. Yeah. Okay. But Kate, up to you. And we'll put a picture in the Facebook group. But that dog looks adorable and congratulations. So it's actually quite hard for me to share good news right now, given my latest personal upheaval. But Carly Coco shared this into our Facebook group.

Carly said, This weekend, my husband is celebrating five years cancer-free. Fuck, righto. Which is huge. The doctors say after five years, it's a great sign that his cancer will not return. After a gruelling three years of chemotherapy and treatment, several month-long stays in the hospital, fear of leaving the

house during COVID, because obviously you've got such low immunity while you're doing chemotherapy and stuff. Yeah. He's living and enjoying life to the fullest. Good on him. We're also celebrating our five-year anniversary because we got married in hospital five days after his diagnosis, going kind of like,

we don't know what the outcome's going to be here. So she wanted the inheritance. Let's wrap up that superannuation. This old rich guy's about to die. Oh, shame. Sign the papers, dog. No, that is, yeah, that's cool. So beautiful.

And they're doing amazing. They've celebrated 10 years together, but five years married, and they're looking forward to many awesome years to come. You love to see it. That's awesome, Carly. That's so great. You're right. It is hard to get sentimental about anything right now because the whole world is a lie.

Yeah. But that is beautiful. Thank God the weekend's here. That's all I can say. Yeah. I can have a couple of days and just try and process this. I'm going to need a moment. I'm going to drink some cold water and just chill out for a bit.

Yeah. I'm going to play table tennis. Just something. I don't think I can. Yeah. Do you want to go to Dallas next week and go boot scooting? Can we go get a lot of vodka and lemonade or something? Yeah.

So I'm real rogue. Yeah. I know just the place. Yeah, great. Yeah. All right, we'll chat to you Monday. I don't want the episode to be over because I don't want to deal with it. But I also don't want to still be in it.

Yeah, all right. Love you, bye. The spoon.