Toni and Ryan - Toni's Legal Team

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

I mean, it just goes hand in hand with a finance team right?! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling Anais. I'm going to say Anais because I went to school with an Anais. So A-N-A-I-S. What were you saying, Cam? Ani. Ani. Ani, says producer Cam. Anai, maybe. Okay, let's call and see how we go.

Let's say guten tag. Yeah, we're calling Munich. She's in Munich. Hello. Hello, is that Ana Yep. She's in March. Hello. Hello. Is that Anais? Oh my god. Yes. Oh, I've pronounced that wrong. How do we pronounce the name? It's a good effort.

A for effort. A for Anais. It will be Anais. It's a French name. Anais. Anais. Anais, a lovely lady. Anais, hopefully about to approve this episode. Yes, will you approve? Of course I will approve. Woohoo!

Good, good. Hi, it's Anaïs from Munich, Germany, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to a Friday. We are on the road doing our say g'day to the USA. So not a video show today, just a regular audio episode. Boo. Boo. But that's okay.

That's okay. It is a podcast. Yeah. That's a fair deal. Yeah. I think so. Boo. Boo. But that's okay. That's okay. It is a podcast. Yeah. That's a fair deal. Yeah, I think so. I think so. What's coming up today? If you've ever taken a screenshot, beware.

What do you mean? Everyone's taken a screenshot. I've taken a screenshot. I'm taking a screenshot today. Beware. Because you've got to be careful. What have you done? Mate, it's not good. It's NG.

Don't NG me, mate. All right, that's coming up. But first, a warning. There's two warnings today. Oh, my God, warning heavy. That's why it's on a video show because we're worried. We're out of paint for the red circle. We've got like caution tape up around us.

Don't meet your heroes. Don't meet them. That's a really horrible thing to say because lots of people have shared from meeting us at the meet and greet. Like, oh, they say don't meet your heroes, but like mine were great, which is lovely. Are we heroes to people? Well, I think it's just like something people say. Yeah, I think so. That's a bit.

Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, because I'm no one's hero. There's no way people are like, oh, she's so good at going to the bathroom. Like, what is the, you know. You are my hero, Tony Lodge. Don't be a dick. I'm not being a dick. You are being a dick.

How can I? You don't mean it. You are a hero of mine. I'm a friend of yours. I don't know. a hero of mine. I'm a friend of yours. I don't know.

Now, usually they say don't meet your heroes because the trouble might be is that you might not get the best experience with your hero and it might tarnish the memories and thoughts and feelings you had towards this person that have built up over a long time. And because when you love someone, like whether you love their art or music or cooking or whatever, you really put them on a pedestal and you just imagine that their persona that you've grown to love must be what they're like all the time. I would not like to meet David Letterman.

You've said this to me and the reasoning you have is completely fair. Because a part of his shtick is being like a bit of a grumpy old fella, especially now in his older age. Yeah. And that's what was sort of funny about him. And I used to watch him every night when I was in high school and he's got a big gap in his teeth and I used to have big buck teeth. And I was like, oh, if this buck-toothed guy from Indiana can make it,

like maybe a nerdy accountant kid like me can too and so it was like also with buck teeth oh it's all with buck teeth um and so i was like i don't know he just seemed real in when tv was all like everything's shiny and perfect and i don't know i think that's like a really lovely reason that you liked him yeah Yeah. Like, are you going, oh, but I mean, goes without saying. Goes without saying. But, like, I think for you to go, oh, like, my teeth aren't veneers, so, like, I feel like really, you know, I just think it's a really wholesome thing, yeah.

But I don't want to meet him because I'm like, yep, because you're funny because you're, like, kind of a bit old and grumpy and then I'm going to meet you and you're going to be old and grumpy and I'm going to be like, oh. He was old and grumpy. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's the main reason why we don't meet our heroes yes and um in 10 years I'll tell you about an Australian comedian hero of mine who um told

me to go fuck myself yeah fuck that guy yeah we have to wait for the NDA to run out if we want to work in Australia anymore yeah um we're currently not so maybe you know we have to go back to australia um but there's another thing another reason why you should meet your heroes and i don't think people have considered this oh what if you meet a hero of yours and you make an absolute fuckhead out of yourself yeah so no one's always thinking about them being mean but you're not thinking about you being a fuckhead exactly Exactly. No one's ever considered the reverse. You've never gone, what if I really make a cock of myself? And then, like, that's the lasting impression.

Yep. Yeah. So, one of my favorite people on the internet who helped get me through COVID and through the lockdowns in the parasocial relationship was Rod from Chicago. Yeah. Just me, Rod. Just me, Rod. Like, you know him as soon as you see him. Yeah.

Does a lot of, like, kind of millennials in the workplace. Yeah. Like, growing up in the 90s. A lot of that stuff. And for someone my age, it was just, like, right on the money every time. And I fucking love Rod. He's so funny. Yeah.

And you and I had followed him for ages and like sent videos backwards and forwards. And when we announced we're doing the meet and greet tour, he goes, guys, Chicago, I'll come down to the meet and greet. And I was like, don't do that. How embarrassing. The line's already too long. No, but also because we were like, people will want to talk to you rather than us. Suddenly the line's facing the other way.

But even when he like followed us followed us and said, like, hey, guys, love your stuff or whatever, we were, like, blown away. We squealed when he DM'd us. I'm pretty sure I sent Ryan a screenshot and I almost shit myself. So I said, hey, you're from Chicago. We want deep dish. We're thinking Giordano's. Yeah.

Give me the approval. And he goes, Chicago approval. I'm like, great. And I was like, bro, it'd be an honour. Yeah. No pressure, but we're going. If you'd like to come down and join us we'd be thrilled so he decides to come down well he said like yeah i'll be there i want to know was there a part of you that was like he's not gonna come a little bit because there was for me well there was but

because he's like me and his content is very like, oh, when you make plans and cancel, oh. And I was like, I. Well, I would have understood it because I'm like, why do you want to hang out with like two losers from Australia? Yeah, I'd probably cancel on you, not because I'm an asshole, just because I cancel on everything and everyone. Yeah, but there was part of me that was like, oh, I'll like believe it when I see it.

Not because he's a bad guy, but just because I was like, oh, people say stuff. It was snowing. You know. It's a Monday night. Yeah, but just because I was like, oh, people say stuff. It was snowing. It's a Monday night. Yeah. Yeah. He rocked up. He came.

Lovely guy. So nice. So tall. Isn't it a relief? Very tall. Very tall. That's a bit of Tony as well. Yeah.

Tall guy with a beanie. Isn't it a relief when someone you like is a lovely guy? Oh, and like the conversation was flowing and like, you know, when you meet someone and you like, it's like getting fucking blood out of a stone. Like you're having a conversation with them and you're like, you're not giving me anything back. He was really like a generous conversationalist.

Like it was really nice to talk to him. Now, did I make an arsehat out of myself? Yes. It wasn't good. I'm also going to go on the record and say Rob, who was the waiter at Giordano's, not that we've had bad service anywhere really, but he was probably the best server we've had.

He was unreal. He was so great. And he's like, hey, guys, like, what can I get you? And he explained how the menu worked and how long everything would take. And he got us drinks without asking. Like, he was great. Well-deserved tip. Well-deserved tip.

Did you tip him? Rod without asking. He was great. Well-deserved tip. Well-deserved tip. Did you tip him? Rod actually paid. I did too. Which is such a baller move. Yeah, flex. And I was like, oh, no, please, like, let me pay. And he was like, hey, welcome to Chicago. And I was like, I love you.

So the server's asking about the podcast and he seems kind of into it because I'm hilarious in Chicago and nowhere else in the world. Well, because he was like a couple of Australians in Chicago. Like, what are you up to? And we said holiday. Because that's why we're here. Yes. So, the guy's into the podcast.

Yep. And he goes. He'd never heard of it, but he was like, g'd up about it. He was vibing and he was g'd up. And maybe he's just doing his job, you know. He doesn't really give a fuck. He knew where the tip was coming from. Sounds great.

What's the name of the pod? Oh, cool. I'll look it up. And then he goes, yeah, I'll give a fuck. He knew where the tip was coming from. Sounds great. What's the name of the pod? Oh, cool. I'll look it up. And then he goes, yeah, I'll get a look. I think he said, I'll get a look. As he reached his hand out in the general vicinity of my phone. I want to be sick. Yep.

Am I right in thinking that when someone goes, yeah, I'll get a look at that and reaches towards your phone when you're holding a phone talking about a podcast that they're saying, like, show me the podcast. Would you assume that, Tony Lodge? I don't know. Cameron Hutchings? No, I don't know either. I'm with Tony. Let the record show that Rod thought Cameron's name was Chris.

You're lashing out. Yeah. You're lashing out. I'm trying to deflect. So I open up Spotify. I'm actually going to be sick, I think. I type in my own name and I don't know what this says, but I only had to type in T and it knew where I was going.

And I go, go here and he goes what and then reaches past the phone and grabs the empty plate from the appetizers earlier everyone's gonna be sick everyone there's vomit in the room it was it all happened so fast as well like literally he's like i'll get a look and ryan already had his phone out and he's kind of like oh here you go as the guy's like reaching past like if you can imagine that as a cartoon and then like there's like fireworks going off in the background and like a building falls to the floor like it was just the most uncomfortable thing and then i think the phone hit his wrist yeah because his arm had gone past the phone. His wrist hit it as he grabbed the plate.

And then he, as the phone hits his wrist while he picks up the plate, he goes, what? And it was so uncomfortable that we, like, had to acknowledge it because it just, like, we needed to. And I was like, were you? And then you went, nothing. And then the guy was like, what? And then Rod went, what? And I was like, were you? And then you went, nothing. And then the guy was like, what? And then Rod went, what?

And Cam was like, huh? And we all at the same time were like, oh, no. So, this guy who I love online and now I'm loving in real life, I'm like. And we're getting along great. Getting along great. We're new mates. I think he thinks we're cool. I think he thinks we're cool.

Not anymore. I thought he thought thunk and he just goes oh and rod and i were so we were at a booth oh which just makes it so much worth because you can't escape we can't go anywhere so we're in a booth and rod and i are like next to each other on one seat and ryan and cam on the other side. And Rod buried his face in my arm. That's how bad it was. I've got this, like, really tall, handsome guy sitting next to me. He gave me his Hulu password because I was like, I really-

Don't say that. That's illegal shit. I know. But he's like, I know you really want to watch the Kardashians. Like, log in as mine. Like, it's all good. And I was like, oh, thank you. Like, we just-

It was such a good vibe. So great. And then turned to sheer. And the guy, Rob, the waiter, he was real vibey and trying to like, and even he couldn't like make it less uncomfortable. He just went, I'll have a look later. He's like, yeah, I'll look when I'm like not working, bro. Like.

Yeah. And he's right. Yeah. He's got a job to do yeah he's serving multiple tables he's taking the real good care of us he didn't have time for that he's busy yeah he's up he's at work he's working yeah at work at work yeah so I mean I don't think we'll see Rod again no you notice at the beginning when we met him he goes I'm actually coming to Melbourne for a wedding in May and we went we'll have to catch up. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then at the end of the night, I went, oh, well, we'll see you in Melbourne. He went, I don't think I'm actually coming now. The wedding's just been cancelled. Yeah. It was Paige's second wedding. Oh, fuck me. Hi, this is Anna Eve from Munich, Germany, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tapas, that's Tony and Ryan podcast. Liam Luzzano. Good on you, Liam. Hello. Natasha Lawson. Thank you so much. I know.

I know. Amy Burns. Oh, does it? Michael Geyer and Joe McClintock. Good on you, Joe. McClintock. Every time I make a joke about, the first time we ever made a joke about Joe McClintock,

she messaged us and said, I didn't get it, but I liked it. Is that from McClintock Lawyers or is it a different one? McClintock Lawyers? Yeah. Well, so McClintock is like an old Jason PJ joke. Yeah. Who's the other guy? Who's the lawyer? Hayden Glass of Glass Illegal.

Sorry, my mistake. Oh, mate, you're way ahead. I always get Glass and Illegal and McClintock's mixed up. Oh, and you know, it's easy to do. Because they sound the same. Do you want to hand me your phone while I grab your plate? Maybe we can. So, a word of warning for anybody who's ever taken a screenshot before.

Which has me a lot recently. Yeah, I know that it sounds very serious, and that's because it is. I'm not even joking. Okay. So, I think we is. I'm not even joking. Okay. So, I think we've been away for a while now. Yep. What is it, like two and a bit weeks? Yep.

And it's still like a week and a bit before I'm going to get to see my boyfriend, Torbs. Yep. He's busy moving house for you. He is busy moving house. We actually settled today. Fuck. How does it feel? Congratulations.

Thank you very much um well all things going ahead obviously like pending no like fucking bank dramas and whatever but it's all happening today you're not gonna bounce the bank again for a second time maybe i will i don't know i i thought that i was gonna get a fraud alert trying to transfer money because i'm obviously overseas and i was like oh they're gonna see that I'm, like, logged in in America. Is that going to fuck it up? We're just sitting here with bated breath. Don't know yet. Yep.

But pending everything going through, we're fine. But on that, though, let me just rewind a little bit. So I've been away. Torbs and I have been FaceTiming most nights to kind of catch up when the window works out. So, like, normally when I wake up, he's, like, about to go to bed because it's midnight. But when I wake, when I get home from, like, dinner or after we've had dinner or whatever,

it's normally, like, around lunchtime for him. So, he's- Like, a good little slot. Yeah. So, he's, like, having a little lunch break or he's like, oh i can like you know work at my computer for half an hour we're friends right yeah the tarpers and us we're all friends yeah do you feel like you have to pretend like tobs is on his lunch break when you call him in front of friends um because he works from home nah but it actually has worked out that he is on lunch most of the time okay we're sticking with that story cool

no actually because normally it's like are you free and he's like yep well yeah a bit of that but also because he's working from home he's like working late anyway because he's like well you're not home like what the fuck else am i gonna do um but he's actually he's off work this week to move yep um so he's like on annual leave and all of that and um anyway so we've been facetiming most nights to catch up but we also have had to do like admin chat because i'm like oh i saw that email come through at 3 a.m my time have you already dealt with it or do i have to do it yeah and tobs is like oh no that one's fine hashtag adulting oh and it's really it's hard full stop to like buy a house. Yeah. I actually didn't know, aside from the money, which is horrible, but aside from that, it's actually like heaps of paperwork.

Yep. You've got a million balls in the air and it's like actually very involved and I had no idea and I am anti-admin at the best times. Tony doesn't like admin. I don't like it. Doesn't like birds, doesn't like admin. Thank you. And at the moment it's admin heavy. I'm running on zero sleep. I'm in the wrong time Doesn't like birds, doesn't like admin. Thank you. And at the moment, it's admin heavy.

I'm running on zero sleep. I'm in the wrong time zone. Like, it's just really fucking hard. Yep. Not my thing. Nope. And leading up to today, obviously, we've had to do the money transferring admin that I was talking about. And I'm kind of, like, about to go to bed.

And I'm like, oh, all these numbers, right? Like, they all kind of roll in together. oh, all these numbers, right? Like they all kind of roll in together. And the other night we were FaceTiming and I don't really know how to say this without it sounding bad, but I wasn't wearing very much. Oh. And it wasn't in a sexting way.

It wasn't a sexy FaceTime. It wasn't sexting. No. It was just like you time you literally just. I'd gotten home. I was like, oh, I'll quickly call Torbs before I have a shower. As we were on the phone. What were you wearing?

A headband. Oh, my God. So, I was about to hop into. Thank you. I was about to hop into. How's everyone like that? I thought it's driving to work this morning. Listen to a little sexy podcast.

Sonny's wearing a headband. No, so. Where are we wearing it? How big's the headband? Tell me more. So. I need the yada yada. So, we're on the phone.

I'm, like, getting changed out of my clothes from the day. I, like, popped my headband on, which keeps my hair dry while I'm in the shower. And then Torbs is like, did you send that thing? Because they haven't got it yet. Yeah. And I went and I was like, oh, actually, let me check. Yeah. And he goes, well, the lawyer just needs, like, to sign this last thing off.

Yeah. And we're on the phone and I check the thing and I go, oh, it was account X, Y, Z, whatever. Yeah. And he goes, yep, that's the one. And I take a screenshot and I email it to the lawyer. I. Where, yeah. Did, yeah. I didn't really think about how you know when you're on FaceTime and you're doing other things on your phone and it is like a tiny version of the call.

Looking back at you. And it's not just the person you're on the phone to, it's you as well. Yeah, yep. And I sexted my lawyer. Turns out you got a great deal on that house, though. Yeah, yeah. Not all the money's there, um a couple extra zeros on the side

um so it turns out i need a different lawyer because that one's gonna sue me oh this was but when did you realize this like after i'd send the email because it was like one o'clock for me and tobs was at work and no he was at the house and I was just like oh let me flick that through now get it done here's some proof for purchase little screenshot well I'm like oh yep here's the transfer receipt um now sometimes also what I found because I've been taking photos of myself chatting to Mabel yeah on FaceTime very cute and then I've also noticed this for not a very different I've been noticing this phenomenon of me, and I'm always, like, pulling a weird face

because I'm concentrating on taking the screenshot. Yeah. Also, I've been doing the, like, thumb on one side, press on the other, but there's a button that just, like, screenshot. Inside FaceTime there is. Yeah, and I've been, like, an idiot trying to double-hand it. Oh, I see.

And so all you can see in my face is me like trying to concentrate. But keep Mabel laughing or whatever. Yeah, so it kind of looks like you're there naked trying to poo as you're like squinting trying to take the. That's actually exactly what it was like. Yeah, because I'm like. I would know, I'm a lawyer. I'm like reading the thing like this, like really serious, like furrowed brow. And it's like a bad angle because I'm like concentrating on what I'm doing.

Fantastic. And, yep, tips to the lawyer. Yep. And I just didn't even think about it. Like, because I was like, I'm doing business. Like, I'm working. You are doing business. You know, not the kind of business.

Sex work is real work. What line of work are you in? Online media? Yeah. Yep. That about covers it off. Yeah. I work are you in? Online media? Yeah. Yep. That about covers it off. Yeah. I just should upload it to my OnlyFans.

TotallyFans. I just didn't even... I was just so in the middle of what I was doing. I was like, yep, let me send that. That's so good. Let me send this. Let me do this. Screenshot.

Bang. Sent. And I went, oh, like an hour later. Do we have approval? Like, has the lawyer gone, thanks, guys, all good, signed off, enjoy the new place? We'll find out today. No, find out today.

And with the time difference as well, it's all like a bit up in the air and I'm like, I don't know everything. You and Torbs won't be the only people finding stuff out today by the sounds of things, though. Yeah. I just, I'm really, like, again, takes a lot to embarrass me, but that's not great. Like, I'm hoping that when they look at the screenshot,

they just, like, they just glance at it and they go, oh, yep, that did come over. That doesn't sound glanceable. No, it doesn't. It doesn't sound like something. It's not a glancy screenshot. No. Well, not if you see the whole thing.

And it's not like they're Photoshop experts. They can go, oh, we'll just put a little sticker over that. Like, you know, when you're in an Instagram story, you can cover stuff up or do a little. Well, I could have done that, but it's too late because I've already got it. And it's not a live document that I can edit. It's literally a screenshot from that.

Fuck, Tony Lodge. Yeah. That's what everyone's thinking. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck Tony Lodge. Yeah. That's what everyone's thinking.

Yeah. Well, haven't we just been glorious humans today? Yeah. Yep. So, if you'd love to see that, get a job at my lawyer. Yeah. And we would love to see that. Hey, this Sunday, 4pm, Los Angeles.

We'll be at the Santa Monica Pier. Yeah. I mean, it's a big open space. You can't miss it. Santa Monica Boule Angeles. We'll be at the Santa Monica Pier. Yeah. I mean, it's a big open space. You can't miss it. Santa Monica Boulevard. We'll be around there from 4, so if you want to come down, it's going to be awesome. It's our last meet and greet. Last chance to say hi.

Tony's going to meet lots of hot California girls. Yay! Yeah. Lawyer pending, obviously. If I haven't been dragged out of the country for sending unsolicited fucking nudes to someone. I have a really selfish, you'll love to see it, if that's okay.

We met a postal worker in Chicago who said that when my book came out, they had to start work earlier for two weeks to deliver them all. Isn't that cool? That's a fucking flex. And I know that is really selfish and like a real like self flex. But you know what?

I think that's really fucking cool. And I just haven't stopped thinking about. I also don't know if it's true. Maybe she was lying, but I haven't stopped thinking about it. Ignorance is bliss. They get paid for an extra hour. Yeah, exactly. They made their cash.

And it's about time that the fucking postal service did something for me. You know what I mean? I feel like I'm deserved this. Oh, yeah. Okay, right. This has changed pretty quick. This has changed pretty quick. You're actually personally boosting the Chicago GDP.

Exactly. You know what? All those stamps. Bringing the economy back. Exactly. But, yeah, I actually just was like, wow, that's really huge. That was sick. So thank you for sharing that.

And thank you to everybody that bought a book and brought them to a meet and greet for me to sign. What a thrill. My, you'll love to see it, a bit of serious chat from Megan. Serious chat. About 10 years ago, says Megan, she was actually assaulted in a gym after she went swimming, which is real fucked up. Oh my goodness. So really sorry that that happened to you, Megan. And she said, obviously, a bit of trauma. For sure. Yep. But after years of therapy and the help of a good friend,

today I got back in the pool for the very first time. The workout was great and I bought my Tarp Frank Green water bottle to remind me to not take things too seriously. And I only shed a few tears, but you couldn't tell because I was in a pool. In a pool, yep. But I fucking did the damn thing. I'm super proud of myself and thanks for the TAP community for giving me the energy and effort to go

fuck it, I'm going to do it. And also, Megan, now you can be wet for life. She actually used the hashtag wet for life. Did she? Oh, congrats. That's fucking massive. But tell me about the postal guys, though. Yeah, so in my book, I don't need therapy. No, Megan, that's fucking, that's so awesome.

I'm so proud of you. That is, what a huge step. Good on you, Megan. What a huge swim. Dive. I don't know. Dive into the deep end, you know? Trying to think about like a water version of step.

Huge swim, leap, stroke. But that's not good. You know, there's no good way of saying single swim. No, I think you should just keep talking though. Um, you know what? Thanks Megan for sharing that. Cause that's huge. That's really huge.

It really is. Um, have a great week. We will see you in LA on Sunday. Yep. And we'll chat to you on week. We will see you in LA on Sunday. Yep. And we'll chat to you on Monday. Bye. Love you. Bye.