Toni and Ryan - Toni's Sexy New Purchase

Episode Date: October 18, 2026

Kelly Clarkson - Recommendations - Toni's slutty underwear- love ya!!!!!Have you ever ordered something and gotten a surprise? Don't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!! patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was buying this slutty underwear, right? I added all this underwear to my cart, right? And they were all like crotchless underwear, and I didn't realize. Hi, I'm Emma from Glasgow Scotland. This is Callan from Perth. Hi, I'm Danielle from Perth, Western Australia. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Hello. If you've been with this for years, welcome back. if you knew. Welcome to the safe space on the internet where you get to be the silly, ridiculous person that we all actually are.

You don't have to pretend to be anything you're not. We can just be our stupid selves. Tony doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm calling it. 2025, remember the Coldplay concert where the CEO?

Yep. I feel like that was like the thing of 2025. Yeah. This is a strange on LinkedIn. It's like everyone had their hot take about what it meant. Totally. This year's one is Callie Clarkson versus the electronic bird thing at that store in Brooklyn because it's small business versus Hollywood and it's become this whole thing.

It's a real David and Goliath kind of situation. Now let me bring you up to speed. Callie, for those who have not been online for the last week, because this, what should have been a one Instagram story has become a two-week brouhaha. Callie Clarkson is publicly calling a tiny Brooklyn magic shop liars because they wouldn't sell her $15,000 singing robot bird. Kelly said she got pretty woman. Yep.

But the store says Molly the robot bird is actually bolted to the wall. It's part of their magic show and isn't for sale. They offered her a cheaper $2,000 German bird instead. Kelly was offended. Are you team Kelly or team magic store? I just think like there's no way that Kelly Clarkson didn't know. the impact her calling this store out would have. I don't necessarily, like, if she felt offended by the way that they talked to her

or that they, like, her thing was like, they assumed I couldn't afford it. And I was like, how do you know? Like, I don't know. Maybe message the store and be like, hey, I came in today and I just felt a bit random about this interaction I had. You would have to know, it's fucking Kelly Clarkson. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's a C-Said. But, you know, like, you would have. have to know that your fans would then be really gnarly to that store and I don't know that they really deserved it. So they've released the CCTV footage like it's getting real. There's about 10 people in the store and she's one of them and she kind of walks out and walks back in and says something and the guys behind the counter serving three people at once kind of goes, uh, sorry, sorry. Yeah. And she's like going. Yeah. She's in the yellow shirt at the door on the left. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. So she's talking to. Oh, it's a really, it's really busy. So the thing about

pretty woman is that there's no one in the store and they're just getting up for yeah but this guy's like I'm trying to run a fucking like there's people in the store yeah oh can I have this one no it's part of our magic show and it's bolted to the wall just what are you kidding I can't afford it and he's like no I just I mean it's not for sale like so it all has also come out though that um there was a price tag on it so they've said it's not for sale and she's like well it is right so it says on the thing like Molly the bird or whatever and it says $15,000 and she's like, oh, I'd like to buy that and they go, it's not for sale.

I'll show you this other bird. Yeah. And she's like, there's a price tag. Yeah. So, well, is it for sale? And like, I'm not on anyone's side, but like. It sounds like you're on the, their side. I think that I am like, well, if the bird is not for sale, then it shouldn't have a price tag.

So true. Which is, you know, and you would, there are times when you've gone into a store it says like, oh, not for sale. Like display furniture. only or whatever. But I don't agree with her fucking renting them online. I don't think anything bad happened and she didn't need to like call them out. So I've gone deep.

Okay. You didn't even know about the price tag. How deep have you gone? Molly. Oh no, I knew I'm just, I've picked aside and I'm selectively choosing my facts. Sure. Not lying. Yeah.

Just didn't omitted. Just selectively choosing the facts. Yeah. Molly, the $15,000 robotic bird, which is apparently amazing. if I can want to be. Yeah. Has her own repair man. Yep.

Because this is the person that built her and only he can like fix her. So he flies in from Seattle to do repairs to New York, which for those playing along at home is not close. It's the other side of the country. Yeah. But that's her, Molly's repair. Man, he flies in to do some tinkering. Sure.

Which is really good. cool like a specialised little thing that's fucking sick 40 million views the original post got that's just so unfair i think callie was in the store for a total of four and a half minutes and the feud has lasted and is now into its 16th day the fact that charles can google the ctv footage and find it's so funny it's the first thing that comes up but um did you see that the store owner came out and was like people are coming to our store and abusing our staff abusing other patrons and people that have said, hey, I don't think it's the store's fault

have gotten death threats like on Instagram and stuff. Like people sticking up for the store are like, fuck you, that. I'm like, whoa. It's the great feud of 2026. But like, fuck, touch grass. Like, get outside, I fear.

I just... Now, I'm not in the bird game. Don't know much about birds. And we're not bird guys. We're not bird guys. Tony's not a bird guy. Never has been. Doesn't like being a bird guy.

what the fuck does a $15,000 robotic bird do that the $3 plastic wind-up bird that I've got a home can't do? What bird do you haul on? You'll have to speak to my daughter. But she winds it up. Yeah. And then it sits there and kind of just goes, No, I think it's like.

So from $3 to $15,000 to $15,000, what's going on there? No, I don't think we need to make this about the bird. not being worth $15,000. Oh, I think we might. Oh, I just want to know what it does. So I think it's got the hand cranking. Like, does it suck me off? Does it make me dinner?

Like, for $15,000, what does it do? But the hand crank thing, so all of those separate wires, as it turns, I think that the little parts of the bird move. Like, I think that all of the, like, the wings kind of work independently and stuff like that. I reckon if I gave Charles four hours and $200 so you could drink something together. And I don't want to underplay the craftsmanship. I'm just saying, You literally have.

No, no, but like, I just don't get how it could be, like, it's a... I think the thing is, though, that it is not a toy, it's art. Like, I don't think... That's what I say to Mabel, which is breaking stuff. That's not a toy sweetheart. That's art. But I don't think it's like, it's like a part of your, like you have it bolted to the wall and it's like, you know, I think... What's the most you pay for a bird?

Well, I wouldn't pay. anything for it. Because you're not a bird guy. But also art is like what's the thing like what you, it's what you would pay is what it's worth. It's in the eye of the beholder. So for me, I wouldn't pay that for that because it doesn't mean anything to me. But if that's what it's worth, because of, that's what it's worth to Kelly Clarkson. Well, yeah, I mean, it's worth a lot more to Kelly Clarkson because she's fucking sent her an army of people to Brooklyn. So I, my thing isn't the value of the bird. My thing is like, oh. Well, here you go. Oh, that's very cool.

That is amazing. Go back to that for the movement and the smoothness of the bird was... Oh, no, you laid your fucking egg before. No, I hadn't seen it. Oh. That's really cool. That's really good. I'd actually pay 15th probably underdoing it now that I've seen that.

That is amazing. That is amazing. You say sorry. I take that. Molly? You're beautiful. I'm sorry, Molly. I'm sorry.

I just think that it's actually not about the money at all. It's like, I'm like, oh, you've, you've played like a bit of a card here and I think that's a bit yuck. Speaking of rich motherfuckers in New York, can you Google Julianne Moore's New York house? I like Julianne Moore. Well, be prepared to like it more. We're going to watch the first 10 seconds of her AD. Oh, I haven't been up to scratch. It's a rooftop, but it's just a house on the rooftop of New York. So, this is her like countryside kitchen that just happens to be on the roof of a building in New York oh my god and it's got a full garden and shit that is so stunning

and so look at that imagine that being your kitchen oh yeah you know and you know what julianne more would never send her an army to a small business no she wouldn't that's really That's really nice. I was move to New York. How's New York cost a living while? It's pretty cheap. I reckon we'll be fine. Yeah, ever.

Maybe the three of us could share a one bedroom apartment. I actually love watching those like, here's what, 4,000 a month gets you in New York. And they're like, is this the cupboard? You go, no. That's the whole thing. That's it. Yeah. I like those two, but I also love the videos that are like, here's how I've styled my studio apartment to get like the most out of all the space.

Yeah. it's fucking cool hey people are just so clever yeah should we so the three of us share a one bedroom place do we have to set up rules so charles can or cannot bring girls home if we're all sharing a room or do we does he leave like a sock on the door and then we just go to the bodega across the road and wait till he's done or something yeah and you and i just go for a blocky and come back make it quick charles well we'd get fit because we'd just be blocking just be walking all the time Charles can you maybe go to their house yeah yeah yeah That's on, that's in play.

Yeah, no, that's fair. I like, though, that your first instinct was that. The two of us had to put a little pillow fought up so the child could have the other side of the bed for the night. Yeah. You know there's some of those mattresses where when you're on the other side of the bed, you can't feel them moving?

Thank God. And then there's others where you can. Yeah. Which would you prefer? I think we've got the one that can. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, if we're not getting there, we might as well be, you know, you know, feeling the motion of the ocean. Whoa. Tapa, Venise has sent a message through I think we're talking about cruising or honeymoons and stuff the other day Like going on a cruise, yeah

and she said that for her honeymoon she was like, I think we should go on a cruise I think it would be really nice, you know, it's so easy, everything's there we have a really great time and the husband. We're all coming around to cruise and I think, yeah. No, we're coming around to cruises. We're coming around to cruises.

And then he, goes, hear all the reasons why cruising wouldn't be for me. I've just never been a cruise guy. It's not really for me. I think it feels weird to think about it because, and like, tell me if you agree, because I know that you like get a bit like claustrophobic sometimes. Would that be the thing for you that you're like, oh, I'm on this one thing and that feels a bit stressy?

Maybe, but that's coming from a guy that's never been on one because apparently they're so big. Like you can go for a big long walk. and still, and get that kind of alone time still on the boat. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's the thing. I think that's why I would have wigged me out. But the more I see the size of these things, I go, oh, well. Yeah.

Yeah, like you're not on a little sailboat for two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Not a little dingy. Yeah. So the now husband's always been like cruising isn't for us, babe. His favorite YouTube vlogger goes on a cruise. I love it.

I love it already. Then he comes back to. her and goes, babe, I've got an idea. I am quite literally on board. I think I want to go cruising. And they have since been on a cruise every year for the last eight years. Because as she described, some guy on the internet went on one. Yeah.

See, that hurts. As somebody, as a partner, right? I do think that you go, oh, what about that? And then Torbs will watch like one video about something. He's like, I think I'm coming around to that. I'm like, what about it? all the things that I said. Yeah.

Now, this was in the comment section of one of our videos. Oh. And everyone kept talking about Tapa Claire, who's experienced something else. What did Tapa Claire do? I think we can roll the tape here on Tarpa Clare. Actually, I'll read what Tapa Claire has said. Oh.

I always recommended this meal to my husband and he never gets it. Then one day some guy says to him, Oh, it's Tapa Claire Dumfie. Roll the tape. Chip Huss and the witch salad. All right. What looks good. Oh, here's something that jumps right off the page.

I tried this yesterday thanks to my good friend Skip Wuznum. Claire, do yourself a favor and join me in a wedge salad. You have got to be kidding me. Just try it. You will thank me. Did you learn nothing from last night? Whoa. It was about the salad? I have been recommending wedge salads to you, amongst other things, for years.

And you never listened to me. and some idiot suggested, and you can't wait to try a wage salad? It makes me feel like I don't matter. Great. Mums with a loudbursts got me fired. That's the next line. Yeah, I watch that and I was like, I don't get it.

Yeah. Yeah. But you know your audience, two big modern family fans. So are you... That is exactly what I was thinking when I was... And is that what Torbs does? Does he storm out? Oh, no, no, no.

He goes, Tony, it makes me feel like I don't matter. No, he was. would never do that. And then Pliper gets fired from a fake job? Yeah. Then Charles got fired from the red rooster at reservoir. No, that's not his, that's not our style of communicating. What is your style of communicating?

Ah, well, we just talk about stuff. We've, like, we've never, ever yelled at each other. Not even over a wedge salad? No, like, never. But, you know, and you go like, oh, that looks really cool. And then someone goes, saw this thing on Instagram. You go, yeah. Dude, you're fucking really.

Oh, okay, that sounds great. I would, like, we've done it to each other. Yeah, we have. I've done it to bridge a few times. Yeah, I'm also like personally a big U-turner with new information, like a couple that come to mind, obviously, from the show are like, you know, the toilet seat being down. Yep.

That I was like, oh, I hate that. And then you were like, it's for a reason. I was like, oh, my God, Slay. Another time that I said, oh, my God, say was obviously the water in the cup. I think we've got that, actually. Yeah. You don't have to wash a glass if you only drink water from it. It's water.

Like, grow up. Yeah, but your mouth isn't just water. Slate. Yeah, because ill. Yeah. But so, you know, I'm happy to take on new information when it is provided to me. Yeah. Is it?

You did a U-turn just before with Molly the Bird. You thought that bird's not worth $15,000. And now you're like, I love it. the bird. I want to pay more than that. She's worth more. Yes, sure. The bird is the word. Well, when we go, bird is, what's the saying? I don't know. I don't think any of us do. When we next go to New York, should we go to the store? Oh, in Brooklyn. Yeah. Can we ride our bikes over the bridge? Yes. I would love to do that. Yep. I've seen Gates and I said do it online. Yeah. Hi, I'm Danielle from Perth, West

in Australia. This is Callan from Perth. Hi, I'm Emma from Glasgow, Scotland. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out and an even bigger smooch to a few of our champion tappers over at our Patreon. Irene, good on your Irena. Anna Sophie, good on your Anna Sophie. Elizabeth Coypool Liverman.

What am I, Chop Liverman? What's a Coypool? Is that a thing? Coypool. Coy pond? Yes. Yeah. Different.

that's a fish this is just a person just a legend yeah just a a lady uh Alex Waldron not like me Caldron it's Alex Waldron Tracy Blankenberg we were just talking about molly what's the what's the burg across from like in Brooklyn there's a burg oh the iceberg sure Williamsburg Williamsburg thank you uh Adriana Guzman should we go and get a YG I think we actually need it. Is that what we need? We need a bit of a G up because we talked about the bird.

That's brought us down. A GYG up. Are they using that? Are they using that? Send them this. Are they using that? Send them using that. Send them.

In their marketing, are they using that? If you need a G up, you need a GYG up. Get a GYG up. Having a rough day. You need a GYG up. That's good stuff. We're sending this. Okay.

Liz Benson, good on you Liz. Aaron Sweitzer. Thanks Aaron and Smae Blake. Thank you very much for being part of. It's a beautiful name. Esme is gorgeous. Yeah. Shotgun.

What, that is your drag name? Anyone else are you having kids soon? No. Are you? Is this? No, not really. Did you say not really? Yeah.

No, not really. We never know you like in the big city, you know what I mean? I've heard that. That's what Kelly Clarkson said. Hopefully not. Yeah. But if I, if you know, mistakes happen, Exhibit A. Yeah, so true.

Esme is a nice name. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, Mabel and Esme. That's quite. It does sound a little bit, people are cool, but that's okay. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got Bible vibes. Mabel's at an age where a lot of her friends are having younger brothers and sisters. A lot of her friends are having kids. Yeah. Little brothers and little sisters. So there's been a bit of like, wouldn't it be cool if I had a little sister? Oh, really? Yeah.

No, she's got me. She's fine. Little sister. I'm pretty short. And then. My, our cousin, uh, text, he's two. Yep. Uh, he isn't talking about wanting a younger sibling.

He's asking his parents for an older sibling. Oh. And we're trying to explain to him. Yeah. That that's really hard to organize. When you defer. Unless they adopted. Yeah.

But he's like, oh, you know how they've got an older brother? Can we get one? And they're like, oh, well, you know, maybe one day you'll have a younger one. Uh, but older like kind of tough. Probably not. Yeah. And he's like, well, no, I'd prefer an older one. Well, if Mabel wants a younger sibling and Max wants an older sibling,

sounds like the age gap between them is right. Because Mabes is a bit older than Tex. Yeah, he's coming around this weekend. So maybe we have to like, hey, see this? Both be happy. We figured it out. Finally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because he wants an older sibling. Mabel's older than him. Yep. And Mabel wants a younger sibling and Tex is younger than him. Although Tex is crazy. What do you mean? I think Mabel wants someone that she can put a dress on and we'll just sit there. Oh sure.

Whereas Tex is like, I'm ready to wrestle. Yeah, that's fun though. Oh, for us, but I don't know if that's what made the order that she's put in. Yeah, she's just like, no, I want a dolly. Yeah. Should we get her a dolly? Well, we have, but the dollies don't talk back as much and, you know. I could do that.

Come over. Yeah, I'll do that. I think it was two weeks ago, Tony made a bit of a, outlandish statement. Fuck, speaking of Hugh Ternzo. Yeah. Fuck, we do need a GYG up.

I said that for the rest of the year, I wasn't going to wear jeans. Because I was like, no, summer's here. Like springers sprung, the sun's out and we're fine. It's daylight savings is here. It's fresh.

It's bright. It's zingy. It's yum. It's fucking lime juice in your guacamole. Straight up your ass. Do you know what I mean? So true. It is now raining.

lot. It's gone quite cold again. The mornings are fresh. Last night, overnight, was so fucking cold. We put it, we had the heater on now in our boudoir. Yeah. Fucking cold. How you going with those splities in the bedroom?

It's nice. Yeah. Isn't it? Isn't it real nice? You know what's, here's what they don't tell you about a splitty. Yeah. Tony's recently got a split in the bedroom. I have.

A big, big cool summer coming up, guys. After talking about it for three years and our fucking house gets so. hot because it's like old school brick old double brick so it's like sounds like a great problem to have but it's so fucking hot once those bricks heat up you're an oven and it's a kiln like it's crazy um so you know with the splity how you go oh yeah well it does hot and cold it does so much more than that you can just use the fan on that bad boy just get some movement just some air moving around i love movement still air fucks me right off it's too quiet it's too still, I feel like, ugh.

You feel like you're a visitor. When the air is still, you feel like, am I allowed to move? Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. You know? So true. I've been trying to articulate this for years. Yeah.

You feel like you've walked into a room you don't belong because you're, oh, there's no one else here. Yeah. The other thing that you can do is the evap, like de-moistreiser one. What fucking splitter did you get? Like, no, so you've got the one that like, is a massage share as well? and a sex toy.

Yeah. Just lift your leg up. It's great. See you later. No, what is the like dehumidifier setting? And it like, so on some nights where it's been really, really wet, we've just done the... Getting hot and steamy in that room, had it? No, like when it's wet in the area.

Oh, babe, that's so wet. Yeah, hey, let me just fix the setting on the AC. Yeah, I'll put the dehumidifier on the splitty, if you know what I'm saying? Oh, sweetheart, tonight we're going to need the dehumidifier on the split, if you know what I'm saying? Oh, it's a big anniversary. Oh, my God, yesterday, right?

I did a little, I did, I locked in hell hard, right? I did a bunch of work in the afternoon. And then I was doing a little bit of procrastinating. And I went on and I was buying this slutty underwear, right? And I found this. Working real hard. And I did this, I bought this underwear. I went to buy this underwear, right?

Can you send Charles Niling? I actually can because this is so funny. And I liked. the shat, it was like a bit high waisted, but like high on the bum. Yeah. All of my underwear is like across the whole bum. Yeah. And it just needs a big glass.

Yeah. She shakes out summer. I do. I think I just want something a little bit sluggier, but I don't love wearing a G string. So that's fine. So, but there's middle ground, right? Yeah. It's called, normally called like cheeky or like Brazilian cart.

Mm-hmm. I added all this underwear to my cart, right? Mm-hmm. And they were all like crotchless underwear. And I didn't realize. A little bit slutty, she said. Well, that is not what I was in the market for. It's not what I was in the market for.

Wow. And then I looked at, yeah, Charles has gone so red. It's absolutely crazy. If they're crotchless, then what's left? So what it is, right? It's like the knickers. And then there's a big split through the middle so that then if you would like open your legs, you'd leave the underwear on while you're getting fucked.

Which feels bizarre to me. Has this? I don't like that. Has this company not heard of the pull across, which is... Just take the underwear off. Yeah, but the pull across has a time and a place. Tell me about it. Tell me about the time of the place.

Tell me about the time and the place. Because is it... When you got the dehumidifier on. Hang on a sec. Hello, dehumidifier. Well, maybe it's not the circumstances to get fully nude. Maybe... Out in public.

You just can't wait. And it's just on. Okay, and so is the underwear. Yeah. But so I didn't, so, and I just went to click back in. I'm like, oh, I'll just make sure that I've, like, ordered, like, the size that I want. And you know how it says, like, the model is wearing blah, whatever. And then I zoomed in on the thing and it was.

What, hang, when you say the thing, do you mean her purse? No, this was a product shot, no person wearing them. Oh, that's a shame. This particular photo. And they had, and I was like, I better check all the other ones I've added to my cart. That's not particularly what I'm in the market for at this. exact second not to yuck anyone's young if you like a crotchess underwear i'm no shade it's just not what i was after i was after a full encapsulated nick yeah but um yeah had to check the other ones

that i'd added and there were three other types that i'd added that were really letting me sandwich out the gate that is that is not like it's not going to cover the juts yeah and i just thought well that's not what i'm after sorry the hang on sorry did you say let the sandwich out of the gate Yeah, you got to keep you sandwich in your lunchbox, you know what I'm saying? Got to keep that stuffed tuna bagel in the Gladraff. You know what I'm saying? Got to keep me Mornay in the dish, you know? I just thought, well, Malanta.

Got to keep the tuna sushi in the ocean. Got to keep me roast beef in the fucking dinner bowl. I got to keep that fucking underwraps, do you know what I'm saying? Luckily I'm wearing jeans. Me Jutz isn't coming out. sides. Anyway. So close to this.

This was the G-A-T we needed. Hang on. This was the G-A-T-A-P we needed. No, the G-Ut we needed is on the way, which is the G-Y-J-U-P. Question.

Yep. It seems... Keep me smoke salmon and me sushi. Got to keep that cat captured. Keep me cat in its litter box. Oh, no, that might be the wrong side. Yeah. You might be doing that wrong.

Yeah, that might not. be the right one. Considering the strike rate in which you were accidentally getting crotchless knickers. Yeah. Were you at like crotchless knickers.com? And you're like, why are these all? It sounds like that, doesn't it? It was just like the, it was just the lingerie part of like a website that I've ordered

from before. So I wasn't like seeking this out. And it actually wasn't something that necessarily I thought that I had to be wary of. I assumed when I was buying underwear would cover my genital which is a fair assumption to make well I thought that if you wanted knickers that had the split in them

all were crutchless you had to look for that specifically go and find that yeah I didn't think that that was something that would fall into the category it'd be a specific section thank you that's what I thought too so I'm covering a specific section I unadded though like I did not order though

it's just it's someone I need underwear to wear during the day. It wasn't like, you know, if you were looking for like a sexy knickers for, you know, a date night or something, so fair. But that's just not what I was looking for. So in conclusion, Tony said she would be wearing shorts for the rest of the year. And today she's wearing jeans because it's fucking cold in Melbourne. Yeah, back to that. Yeah.

But I'm back to jeans. I think I've maybe won them before. Not like in my life, but like, I just thought that we were ready and we weren't. Yeah. Charles has set fire to all of his long pants, though. So it's too late for him. He's doing shorts. Yeah.

He was around at my place yesterday with shorts on where we were about to light the fire. And I was like, isn't that a crazy combination? Well, you needed the fire because you're so cold. You only got to go to short. Yeah. Well, maybe I was got to go home and crank that heater and get the dehumidifier going. Yeah. I don't know why you would need the two of them at the same time.

I don't know. Splity. Talk about it. It's a heater. It's an air conditioner. I also, I don't know why. Cool means air conditioner. If you say air conditioner and you mean heat, you're talking about the heater.

Oh, no. I know it's the same machine. I know it's the same machine. When it's heat, it's heat out, when it's cold, it's an aircon. Everyone shut the fuck up. No, I totally agree. I'd be like, oh, pop on the aircon, that's cold. Yeah.

Some people are like, oh no, like, yeah, our aircon does both. You know something I just like really fucking grinds my gears that I reckon probably Bridget says because it's a Kiwi thing. Oh, don't. Kiwi's the worst. Heat pump. Does Bridget say that? No. When I worked like on Jason PJ and all of the Kiwis.

She says duvet. Oh, I say Duna. Yeah, because you're a fucking normal person. But yeah, when people call a heater a heat pump, I'm like, shut up. Also, Kiwis call Australia Aussie. Yeah, I do that too, though, sometimes because I think from working with the Kiwis for so long. Right, of course. You go, oh, when you're over-sitt, where are you from?

I live in Aussie. Yeah. No, we actually don't say that. We don't call it. We are Aussies. Yeah. We don't live in Aussie. No, I do agree.

I need to stop saying that. So on the remote for our. heater and or slash air conditioner. You're splitty. There is probably... Splitty, you like those knickers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. There's probably 15 or 16 buttons on it.

Oh, yeah. I know the on and the off button. I know the temperature up, temperature down buttons. Yep. That's three. Yep. I'm sitting here going, I can't believe you've got this fancy splittie that does all this stuff.

But I also have a remote with 13 other buttons, which I don't know what they do. Well... So maybe I've got this capacity, capability. How many buttons did you say, you know, on off temperature, up, down three? Yeah. Oh, actually. And the one that goes from hot to cold.

Mode. So if you keep clicking through that, it changes from hot to cold. And then you know how you have to, like, cycle through. And there's like those other three that no one looks at. Yep. That is... Are they things? That is fan, dehumidifier and something else.

Because they're always like a symbol and I go, I don't know what that is. water drop symbol, that's the dehumidifier one. You're fucking joking me. The three arrows, that is just fan. Then there's another one. Don't know what the other one is. No one does. Auto.

The other one's auto. And which means that if you set it to a temperature, it will meet it at hot or cold depending on what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, mate, you got stick with me. I don't know what the rest of them do, though. No, but that way.

It's like a timer, which I don't understand. There we go. Yeah. What's vein control? Fucking. Show me your vein. Yeah, I'll see your throb and vein Put it in me splity knickers

Oh dry mode Tony's never met that Dry mode That's the one that it's the dehumidifier one Oh so dry mode Like undoes that it's been wet mode Yeah, that dehumidifier Yeah, I get science

If only I'm saying the word Yeah Yeah No, I get science I get it, I get it I get it I've got a great you love to see it Please

Is that Shan sent this through Thanks Shan About her wife Africa Who yesterday did her first Ironman in Port Macquarie. The Port Macquarie Iron Man.

That is a very well-known and respected big Iron Man. Amazing. Yeah. I didn't know what an Iron Man was until I asked you about 25 minutes ago. I said, do you know what an Iron Man is? And Ryan went, yeah. And I went, okay, save it. It's the longest fucking swim possible.

So sometimes one and a half K, sometimes up to 5K. Then they'll just casually drop 180 kilometres on a bike. And then they'll run a- 180. Yeah. And then they'll run a marathon. Well, Shan's wife Africa did her first Iron Man yesterday. Shan says she's worked so incredibly hard for the last 12 months.

Absolutely. We got married October last year and she was toying with the idea. She's like, should I do it? Should I not? Like, what should I do? And Shan goes, well, it gives you 12 months to prepare if you start now. Yep. Why don't you go for it?

And she fucking has. She's had huge weeks balancing training, working as an anaesthetic nurse and studying to become a paramedic. And look at us, just sitting here. Talking about Y, J.Y, J.J, and split fucking knickers. Oh, my God. I'm convinced she's a superhuman, and I'm so proud she'd get a huge kick out of hearing you guys support her. Well done.

Because she's a big tarpa as well. Well done. Africa. Oh, my God. African legend. Yeah. African legend. Isn't that fucking crap?

I didn't know what an Iron Man was. Say it again. What do they do? It's, I think that one's like a 5k swim. Can we check three, 3.8K swim. Fuck, that's a long way in the pool. 180.

It's in the river. Yeah. It's not in a pool. Okay, that's even worse. Not doing tumble turns. Yeah, no, you're not getting a push off every 50ms. 180K on the bike and then a full marathon, which is running 42.2 kilometers. Nah, I'll stay on.

I will fucking stay on. We can just do the half tone, which is, 1.9k swim, a casual 90-kilometer bike ride, and then just a measly 21.1 kilometer brisk jog. Someone messaged me the other day and goes, I've run a 5K and I was like, bow down, slap. Like, I do I couldn't. I was like, that is absolutely incredible.

So they start at like 5 or 6 a.m and often finish around midnight. Like they go all like, yeah. That is unfucking real. I just cannot believe people have. the capacity to do that, that your body must be in such incredible shape to do anything even remotely like that. But thinking about those kind of distances, fuck, that is wild. Our boy, Tom that came out to my house the other way.

He's done that Port Macquarie one. He trained for a few years. Fucking hell. Yeah. It's gnarly. I've got like sore legs from boxing, you know what I mean? And I'm just like, well, I could not do that. Yeah, Danny said she had sore fingers because she washed those pots.

Yeah, I know. But it's like... Yeah. It's very hard being a homeowner. Yeah. It is. Do you have you love to say it? Uh, yes.

Amy shut. Shut the fuck up. Or was it shot? S-H-A-U-T. Shout? S-H-A-U-T. Come on now, shout. Amy shout.

Uh, I'm sitting in an ungodly long data session for work. That sounds worse than the iron man. It's Monday in my time zone, she said. Oh, no, fuck. fucking Monday. And we had to pick team names for a team building activity to learn the data things. Ryan's least favorite thing, forced fun. Oh, and data.

Oh, yeah. So for the team name, they go, what are you going to call your team? And then Amy shut the fuck up, goes, our team name is on a Monday. And all the fellow staffers were like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. They like jokes. Oh, data, 100% of people like that joke. Yeah, data. Hardly Noah.

So Amy said, don't you just love to fucking see that? I do love to see that. There's nothing better than being in a big meeting and everyone laughs at something you say. Yeah, that feels nice. You do one now. We'll all go.

Dehumidifier, hardly no. Thank you. That's great. Do you want to do one? Nah. Okay. Nah. Great.

No, funny's not my area. Definitely not today. Now, we need the GYG up. The breakfast burrito. That breakfast. Or the Cali burrito. The chorizio one. Oh, the trii one.

Fuck, that makes me come. It's got hash browns in it. Split my knickers and get me a burrito. Get me some charcoal a barretto. Get some crotchless underwear and a big terrizo. Because don't I have a fucking Monday morning plan for myself? Pull my knickers to the side and get me a GYG. I'm starving.

That's enough for me. I love you. Have a great day. Have a great week. Let's actually do that. Love you. Bye. Full money.

This is odd. Yeah. And fuck me with you jerseo. And smash a taco with a tarita. Love you. Bye. Oh, we're still on? Okay.