Toni and Ryan - Toni's Sexy Photo Shoot

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Irrational fears BUT FUN!!!! Love ya xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Audible where you can listen to the new audiobook Sunrise on the Reaping by best-selling author Suzanne Collins. So this is for all the fantasy and hunger games fans because this is about the backstory from Katniss's mentor Haymitch. Katniss, what a badass. Badass. Honestly. We watch those movies so often at home. I feel like they are such a high rotation like Good Watch. Absolutely and this time it's the 50th Hunger Games and there are double the tributes that have to compete, which means it's pretty full on. Yeah, twice as big.

Hamish is torn from his home and the girl he loves and has to enter the deadly arena with little hope of survival, but a deep urge to fight that could change everything. Packed with fantasy, fears fierce challenges and shocking twists. Yeah, fantasy is massive right now and this sounds huge. So if you love the ballad of the songbirds and snakes, then get ready for the followup in the series,

Sunrise on the Reaping. Discover the joys of listening by downloading Audible and taking it with you anywhere. Sunrise on the Reaping, available now at audible.ca slash sunrise. Hello, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony, this is Ryan, and we never start an episode without a tarpa approval.

Yep, that's a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now we've got Natalie. Now Natalie. We have to be quiet because she snuck out. She snuck out, she's teaching a class and she snuck out to do this approval. But first, Natalie, when you're in year nine, what did you do to yourself?

I may have run into a wall and knocked myself out clean. So if you're having a bad day today watching this show, listening to this show, just know that you're not as dumb as Natalie was when she was in year nine. Do you have a big scar from it on your forehead like I do Natalie? May have a slump that has hung around since that day. How did you get yours, Tony? Did you run into... Natalie and I were together.

You were holding hands with me at the wall. Well if you're both feeling okay, Nat, do you approve today's episode? I sure do. Perfect. Hey, it's Natalie from Melbourne and I approve this podcast. Before we start proper, Charles is clearly hungry and he's taking it out on people in the workplace. Yeah, you are getting a bit hanged dog Well, I ate breakfast very early this morning, had Idol last night. Oh, right, oh, Charles is moonlighting

an Australian Idol again. I have not been doing live voting, Charles. I'm so sorry. Neither have I, so it's okay. Sophie is being in Brisbane because there was the floods and stuff, so she's helping out her family. Yep.

But Charles, tell us again how hard you've got it at the moment, mate. Apparently, Sophie saw me this morning in the airport, so... Love that for you guys that you're catching on. Yeah. I had headphones on listening to music, but... So you ignored her. Don't you mean that you were listening to this podcast? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so there's no tension in the room, no tension in the biz, Everyone's getting along well. I'm hungry too now that we're talking about it. Acai? Any questions? I've never had acai bowl before. Lily and I had acai yesterday and Charles wasn't here and he feels... Does acai give you cold tummy? No, not really. It's also a hot day today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we talk about irrational fears but fun?

Yep. Because I mentioned yesterday that like bowling balls, getting your finger stuck in the ball just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Yeah, it is freaky. And I said, hey, like, what are you scared of? But like, you know, let's keep it light and bright. But fun.

Mary Ann Collinson. Hi, Mary Ann Collinson. E-Muse. Save some fucking names for the rest of us. E-Muse. E-Muse. I'm not a bird guy, so I'm on your team. Crazy ass dinosaur birds.

Yep. They are ostrich's ugly sister, and they're ready to take out all their angst out on you and your eyeballs. Yeah, no, I actually completely hear that one. I'm not a bird guy. People say this is an irrational fear, but I feel it's legitimate because those feathered chaos agents

with bad attitudes are fucking terrifying. Feathered chaos agents. The only thing that would maybe make the Amy thing slightly more irrational would probably be your location. So if you lived in the middle of Melbourne, it might be irrational to worry about that all the time. Cause you're probably not gonna come across an emu. Someone in the thread in Facebook said

they don't live on a farm. They're not, family doesn't work in farms, but the grain silos freak them out. Like drowning in a grain silo, have you heard of that? Oh my God, that's so grim. Yeah, but she's like, I've never been to a grain farm, don't know anyone there. Does that sound a little bit like the irrational fear

of quicksand and none of us have ever come across it before? Well, that's what someone who, no one who's come across it can talk about it because they're dead. Oh. You know what I mean? Such a good point. That's actually amazing. Now I don't know where you stand with this one.

Andy. Hi Andy. says claymation characters. Terrifying. Their jerky movements. Their eerily smooth faces and eyeballs that make it look like they've had 17 coffees. They're always plotting things, scheming things and probably starting a big Plato cult. It's a no from me. Interesting. I'm actually a big Plato cult. It's a no from me. Interesting. I'm actually a big Wallace and Gromit girl. Really? I don't think that would surprise anybody, but I like, I used to watch the, the movies as a kid. I had them on VHS and I used to watch them rewind, go again. Like I loved them. Yeah.

Did you like Chicken Run? Yes. Yeah, I did. The lady in that's a bit, she's got the heebie-jeebies. She looks like your old boss. Every time I say that I go, oh. Yeah and she does look a lot like her. Yeah too much. Like a lot. Yeah but I, so I quite like claymation. I love the charm of claymation because you know when sometimes when they zoom in really close and you can see like the little thumb prints on them because it's so hard to yeah but i just find that so beautiful because i'm like wow someone's literal hands have touched that that's what people think when they

look at me fingerprints all over me i'll never go to a dark room with tony Never go to a dark room with Tony. She lights up like a Christmas tree. That black lamp. I walk into a hotel room and the hotel room scared of me. The hotel room feels threatened by the amount of white on Tony. Yeah, it's like not, don't touch the remote. The remote's like, please don't touch me.

Oh, you like that? I do. Yeah, it does. Well, the number four rule of life is never eat the food in an orgy and it's sort of related. Never eat me out in an orgy. No, that's very different. Oh, sorry. Lots of tarpas have a fear of bridges. Oh. Cecil. Cecile. It's definitely Cecile. Is it Cecilia? No. Cecile.

Cecile. Cecile. Cecile would be LLE, I fear. Yeah. Yeah. When I cross a bridge, I can't have anything in my pockets because I just feel like my phone will pop out of my pocket and fall through a crap and crack. Oh, don't you hate it when your phone falls through a crap?

It's like this trust exercise with engineers I've never met. I mean, I do get it. I do this thing where if I'm crossing over a bridge, I think I don't know if this is on the portal. If I just hold my breath and see if I could swim across. Obviously the speed is different. Crystal ball, surely that's not a real name. Falling through bridges, driving off bridges, a bridge just suddenly ending, even seeing a bridge that I'm not on gives me the heebie-jeebies and I'm short of breath. I'm not a scientist, but I know not to fuck with gravity.

So true. I just don't know, but I know not to fuck with gravity. So true. I just don't know how bridges can actually be trusted. No, that is really fair. Driving over a bridge, I don't have a problem. But something that does give me the hebe a little bit is if you get stuck in traffic and you're on the bridge on the bridge, because I'm like, well, if something's going down, it's me. And that's true for me through my whole life. That could be the title of your next book.

It's a how to, how to go down on everything in your life. Yes, Charles. What about like under a bridge with a train going over you? So my mum will not stop if like... The train's going over. Oh, as in like, so you're on the road, but the train... Over the top. I get you, get you, get you. Yeah, it's freaky.

But you know that one on Punt Road? Yeah. And it's quite wide. I think there's a few trains and it shakes. It's really scary. Yeah. Right before Swan Street, if you're heading to your house and you go down that way just before you turn left onto Swan Street if you turn right you're on Olympic Boulevard I know the one yes yep I'm glad you do because excuse me sorry after you go across no I know I know but just oh did I not describe that well no you did it was just very particular, did I not describe that well? No, you did. It was just very particular chat.

And I was doing the maths and I didn't know which way you were facing. Oh yeah. And then you go left and I'm like- That's why I said going to Charles' house. Yeah, well it depends which way you go. You know what I'm saying? Well yeah, if you were coming from Geelong,

that's not the way you would go. And you're always coming from Geelong. That's where my second house is. Oh! Oh! That is a joke. That's where my second house is. Oh, that's a lie. Liv tipping. We forgot to mention the tarp footy tipping.

Oh my God. There's a tarp footy tipping. Everyone pretend I mentioned it last week. The code is... Find it on Facebook. Yes, sorry. If you just, if you go to comps and search tarpa, it'll be it's the one owned by Chelsea Live tipping says container ships can fuck right off

Container ships are they full of cars are they full of bodies are they full of thousands of haunted dolls? Why so secretive if you weren't so dicey? Why no windows on the containers? I've never known the tarpas to be- I've never thought about it. So skeptical. Like, when I see, like I agree bridges are fucked, but when I hear like they can't be trusted, it's a little bit-

Wee-aw, wee-aw. Doing your own research, you know what I'm saying? It is, but also what I will say to all of this, don't take it on. Don't think about what's in the sea containers. Just let those occur. You know what I mean? You don't have to trust them.

They're not gonna be a guarantor on your home loan. You don't need to trust them. You know? Imagine if your guarantor on your home loan was a sea container full of haunted dolls. Yeah. Do all of them have to sign it? No, but it's like, oh, sorry bank, we can't make our repayments, but don't worry. If you just crack open this container, you can have what's inside.

And they go, oh, gold bars. But they're so intrigued. Yeah. Like they don't know what's in there. What's that TV show where they like? Yes. Like they just bought. Storage Wars.

But do they just, they say whatever's in this box is yours. How much are you paying? And you don't know what's in it. But like some people have like hit the jackpot. The jackpot. It's like how in what's the big airport in London? Heathrow. Heathrow airport.

You can buy luggage. Like. Abandoned luggage. Like one year old luggage. Are you joking me? Why the fuck have I not known this to now that sounds amazing Okay, I think it's they do that in Malaysia, but they don't wait a year. They just saw you shit No, I think it's like I don't know about a day. I think it gives me the herpy derpies I don't like it because so after a year, there's just this luggage. I'm like, well, what happened to the people?

Did they die like that's so sad sad they went to platform nine and three quarters you need to take luggage with you there oh do you oh well yeah how else are you gonna get your owl in your trunk that sounds like a euphemism all right um for our next tarpathon idea can we do mystery luggage? Every hour on the hour we open a new suitcase we actually already do that. Because that's where the challenges are in. Oh yeah. But you know what I mean. Yeah I do. No but like, can we live off...

You didn't yes and me just said it. I didn't appreciate it. Yeah I'm sorry. But can we like... Put on the clothes? No like live off whatever's the thing. Oh. Or we just buy a mystery box every hour. Fucking Granny Jones ashes in there. I don't know about that. Oh, so fucking granny- Or we just buy a mystery box every hour. Fucking Granny Jones ashes in there, I don't know about that.

Do you know? Who's mystery boxing the fucking ashes? Who knows? I don't know, it just seems like there'd be just like crazy shit going on in this abandoned luggage. What if it's the haunted dolls? Are we bringing bad juju vibes into the studio if we bring all that weird luggage? We'll do it out of the...

Oh, so funny. Tony, how would you go if we dropped you into, say there's a shipping container with the roof cut off. You're gonna drop me in the ocean? No, listen. Oh, sorry. Listen. Sorry. You're not, you're sending me right now. Yeah.

There's a container ship with the top cut out and you get lowered into it and dropped into a container ship with the top cut out and you get lowered into it and dropped into a container ship of haunted dolls for 50 hours. No. No end. Finally, Rachel Ecker. Howly Noah. I have an irrational fear of old ladies.

The way they touch you with those cold, bony, veiny, paper thin skin tans. No! I feel like their touch is the touch of death. No, that is so awful! Rachel, I've got some fucking news for you, sweetheart. That's gonna be you one day. One day you are gonna be that old lady.

If you are so lucky. If you make it that old. Not everyone makes it that far. Maybe you'll end up dead in a container ship container. Oh fuck that's so grim. The one exception to this obviously is that old lady witch who cursed me at the front of my house. Yeah. Hey we've got our own witch now. She can burn in hell. Hey it's Natalie from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by Majuri and Majuri has the nicest fine jewelry. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors

and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know, these gold earrings that I wear? They're majorie. And they were like the first bit of jewellery I ever bought myself.

Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I'm a jewellery person now. Yes, I'm a majorie person now. Yeah. Put that on the front cover of, it's not a book,

of this audio ad. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but fun vibe, just like Tony, minimal and fun. Oh my gosh, you're speaking my language. And it's also affordable. Maduree pieces are designed in-house and handcrafted by world renowned jewelers

committed to quality craftsmanship, as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Plus in 2020, the brand launched the Maduree Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. So they're doing good while helping us look good. Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on maduri.com. Let's talk about cream. Oh I love cream. Are we talking like ice cream or

like moisturizer? Actually, as a sensitive skin girl, I can do both. I know you can do both. And as much as we love ice cream, I'm currently talking about moisturiser. I'm talking about Aveeno Baby Healthy Start, which for young kids you can use from day one. You can use this Healthy Start balm to help moisturise, nourish and comfort the skin of babies. And when Mabel is older, I want you, Tony, to remind her who moisturises her every night. So when she's got beautiful skin, you'd be like, yep, Dad used to do that for you. Well, I was about to say you're doing a great job because she high-fived me yesterday when I

came around for dinner and they were the softest hands I've ever felt. You're welcome, Tony. You're welcome, Mabel. Well, we love a routine and we know how important good skin habits are to start early. And with a Veno Baby Healthy Start, it's easy to moisturise and support baby skin moisture barrier from day one. You can learn more at aveno.ca. Before we get to the champion type of shout outs. Yeah. Did you say you've been locked in a... I got locked in a cool room freezer when I was working at the fish market.

So we had a massive walk-in fridge, but we also had a massive walk-in freezer and the door was like a bit chunky, the handle and the thing. And it's supposed to be like legally for safety reasons that you can open it from the inside and the outside. And we were waiting for it to get serviced or fuck and whatever. I got locked in the freezer and just had to wait

until they needed more stock. And someone else came back in and you're like, hey. I'll be honest, it felt like five hours, but it was probably like 10 minutes, which is a long time. Were you yelling and banging? I was just like, I think I need to conserve my energy.

Oh my gosh. Well, like, cause you can't hear anything and it's a fish market. Everyone's yelling and there's like all the stuff going on. When I was younger, like I had a McDonald's party. A lot of my friends had a, you know, like you go to McDonald's and you have like a happy meal and stuff. Yeah. And then they go. And you get the Freddo cake at the end.

Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. But then they take you for a little tour out the back of McDonald's. Do they? Through the kitchen and stuff. I don't think that that's true. So they took us to and they're like, and here's where we make the chips and here's where we flip the burgers.

That's awesome. And then we get out the back and they go, and this is the big freezer where we keep all the ice cream. Where we keep all the naughty kids. Yeah, no, and they're like, all right, everyone in and we'll go in the fridge, it's a bit cold in there. And then the guy like closes the door for a joke. Not funny, not funny at all. Not funny. It's not.

It's not funny. It's pretty stressful. It's not funny. Yeah. Worst birthday ever. But imagine if you got locked in there and you could eat all the ice cream. What would I have eaten raw frozen fish? It's called sushi, mate I feel like the irrational fears is not the vibe I wanted today. Sorry. No, I want to pump it back up So let us talk about

Shall I do my job? So let me throw to Tony Let us talk abou- Shall I do my job? So let me throw to Tony. Ha ha! And we'll- The haunted dolls have gotten into you. We'll celebrate our champion toppers now. Ilka, good on you Ilka, hard luck Noah.

Chanel Casey, good on you Chanel. Ila Green. Okay. Emily Wilton, love to see Emily, thank you. Brittany Ainslie, Tracy Milford, and Sarah AKA Miss Noble Noble or as she has so kindly referred to herself as the cake bitch. The cake bitch. My favourite cake bitch. So Sarah, my favourite cake bitch as well, Sarah made me a beautiful cake when my book came out and I remember

because she put the like cover on the cake. Oh that was awesome. That was amazing and she made Mabel's first birthday cake. She certainly did. It was like vegan and dairy free and it tasted better than any cake I've ever eaten. It was amazing. Thank you very much. Thanks, Saz, love ya. 2025 is the year of winning. And we didn't do an end of February update because we're running a little bit late.

Who's counting? Hey. All good, all good. It's our podcast. If you want it to be on time, start your own and get a fucking watch. Sorry. Oh my God. I mean, no one complained, but they fucked us right up. As a community, we're going to win a thousand things this year.

Raffles, tag someone on Instagram, employee of the month. As long as you win something, it counts. So register win Tony and Ryan.com. Because as a group, we're gonna get a thousand wins. Now considering we're past mid-March, and we're going for a thousand this year, where would you hope we'd be up to? Oh, fuck, Anel, get me a calculator. All right, a thousand divided by 12, what's that?

Just where would you like to be? I'd probably like to have 300 under the belt at this point, at least. Okay. Because we'd need to be past that. So I'd like to be at 300 at least. I'll go 249. 249 says Charles.

Is 250 the amount we would per month? No. Yeah, 83. 83 per month. Well, that's what I said. So then three of those is... Oh, because it's a quarter. We're a quarter of the way through.

At the end of March, yeah. So that'd be... So what are you saying? So a thousand into quarters is 250. We all got there. I would like 300. Because I think that we're better than that. Mid-March, which is not quite a quarter yet, which is great.

457 winners. What? Piss it in. Piss it in. That's unreal. We're going to have this done by the end of- Oh my god. Did you just-

No, sorry. I thought there was a fucking spider on me. Is it a tiny doll? A haunted doll? Oh my god. Literally just thought there was a fucking spider on me just then. What the fuck just happened? I felt it on my fucking leg and I'm just wearing a little tiny skirt so it really could have gotten in my pusswa.

What was it? I don't know. Like a cockroach? I hope not. Like a little spider? I think I'm a spider. I thought you- I thought the- I think I'm a spider.

I thought the- Are you okay? What the fuck? There's someone on me! It's the fucking haunted dolls! I thought the... You okay? What the fuck? There's someone on me! It's the fucking haunted dolls! I don't like fucking with this shit! What is it?

I don't know but I can feel it's tickling my legs! Is it this thing? No, that's my pubes. What is it? I don't know! I bet you it's scurried off like the fucking little bitch it is. If everyone has ever wondered what living in Australia is like. That was like a little.

Spiders everywhere. Yeah. Okay. That's amazing about all those winners. Maybe it's the um, is the injection have side effects? That needs so much explanation what you've just said. Oh you got Tony got immunized and now she's and now the 5G is just fucking running wild. Yeah. Setting shit off. That was hell scary. I'm so sorry everyone. Are we still in the emergency or are we past the emergency? Don't. We don't do pranks. I'm not doing pranks. I was doing a prank. You were doing a prank? I was just looking at Tony's leg and like implying that I could see it. We don't do that. We don't do that. We don't do that. 457 winners. That's actually incredible. Worth jumping off your chair for. Yes. Yes. What have we won? Wow. Thanks for asking.

You've won a sea container of haunted dolls. The worst prize in history. This is crazy shit. Two cars! What? Someone won two cars? No, two separate tarpas have each won cars. That makes a lot more sense. Yeah. But also- Like, of the 457, two of them have been cars, not just one. Oh, and your prize is two cars.

No, or someone won two separate cars? Yeah. I was like, wow, that's crazy. Sarah from Brisbane just put money in a raffle. And she says, I've gone and won a bloody brand new Toyota Land Cruiser. You love to see that. Fucking huge. Bree, who is in Langwarren, which is in regional Victoria here.

There's her in front of her brand new Cherry Tigo 4 Pro. That's a beautiful car. Yeah. So that's her in front of her brand new Cherry Tiggo 4 Pro. That's a beautiful car. Yeah. So that's her in front of- That's very fancy. Aren't cars good these days? Yeah. Real good.

Aren't cars good these days? You don't even need a hell fancy car to have a beautiful car. All cars are good cars. Yeah. These days, because of the, you know, health and safety, et cetera. Safety standards. The ANCAP safety rating.

Now something's... The Canstar safety rating. Something surprising is happening. Yeah. There is a trend happening amongst our 457 winners. Oh what can I guess? Heaps of stuff that people have won is blue. No. OK. Um, lots of them are from Instagram competitions. Yeah, but that's not it. OK. Maybe the trend is that all the people that have won stuff, more than 50 percent of them are allergic to nuts. How'd you get it?

Yeah. Tony, what question did you want to ask before we hit record and I said save it? I said would you rather pose naked in front of a stranger or someone that you know? Like if you wanted to take a sexy nude photo or whatever, would you rather do that in front of someone you know or a stranger? We as a community have won so many boudoir photo shoots, it is out of control. I don't think I know a typer with pants on at this stage. It's fucking writhe out there. I like that. All the typers feeling themselves. Yass Queen, pop off boudoir.

Sophie from Ontario, Canada, $250 voucher for a boudoir shoot. Laura from Essex said, I won this via a Facebook group. Now I'm scared because I actually have to go and do the photo shoot. Al from Bristol said there was a draw on Instagram from an amazing photographer and it said, please tell us a story about your confidence and how you'd love a full boudoir shoot.

So she wrote in and said, oh, I've never really thought about this, but I just, what a great experience and try something different. And she won this whole thing. That's amazing. Now Jackson who's in Birmingham, uh, he won a VIP boudoir session and a celebrity makeover. What Trini? Then they said, help. I actually just wanted to win to contribute to the Tafers of winning. Now I need to get my five foot two fat ass into Manchester for this boudoir photo shoot that I've won.

No, I absolutely love that, pop off. Pop the fuck off. So congratulations, Charles, would you also like a boudoir shoot? No, but I think you've just opened something up because- Don't say that Charles, when we're talking about five foot two fat asses. My friends last year when we did a boudoir photoshoot in Sydney.

And it was free because they won a competition online. Love it, congratulations. And they got two photos included and then it was $400 to get the rest of the photos. Get the photos. Oh, I don't know if they do it. Yeah. I thought it must have been the only winnings. I once got a voucher as a present and honestly it costs you more to do it

than it does to not. Really? So I assumed that it'd be like you post the photos, people say that's great and it's, you know, to drum up future business or something. Or everyone that answered goes, sorry, you didn't win, but if you'd like to book in, you know, that kind of. Cause you know how we said to everybody,

start tagging us in competitions. If you don't want to piss your friends off, tag us. We'll happily do it. I've started, and this is, I think, where things are kind of getting a bit tricky. I've started getting messages from all these brands being like, we see that such and such tagged you in our competition.

If you're interested in visiting our Pilates studio in fucking Perth. Yeah. Like, you know, and it's like, oh, but if you're interested in doing the boudoir photography in New York. So that's how they get, it's like they get your data and they go, oh, well you obviously live in the area cause that's your friend or something like that. Well, that sounds a bit scammy,

glad we haven't contributed to that. No, no, no, but it's the people getting tagged that are getting the messages, it's us. Yeah. Oh, but just contributing to this whole fucking- I mean, it is what it is. All right, question- Everyone's got my data. Tony, I got a question for you. What is it?

Would you rather have a stranger take photos of you naked or someone you know? No one. What would you do though? Why did you want to ask that earlier? No, it was just a, we were like, no, we were just about to sit down and record and I was like, Hey, would you, it was just like a random would you rather? Yeah. So what would you rather?

Neither. I don't think you understand the point of the would you rather? Yeah, no, I see what you're saying. Multiple choice, no. I mean, I... I think... Do you have to see the stranger again? Because if it was a stranger you didn't have to see again, you could just leave afterwards

and go, that was weird, and never think about it again. I also think that if you were doing like a boudoir photography session, right? The photographers would be so kind and so encouraging. Yeah, get some music. Yeah, sure. You're looking hot as let me show you. Yeah, like they see you different to how you see yourself. So I think I'd rather the stranger because.

Oh, Charles, don't worry about the camera. Well, OK, so. Charles's boudoir photography, like that's what it's called. If anyone ever sees that online, it's a scam. Do not click and do not tag me. I don't want the message. Because I'm imagining immediately when you were like, would you rather a friend do that? I'm picturing you doing it obviously.

Obviously. Obviously. Because- That's what I'm angling for. Do you know what we might post into our- I'll give you a free session. You know what we might post into our Patreon today? The practice shots of my engagement announcement. No. Because we required a stand in-

I reckon they're all good. To share the vision with my beautiful fiancee, Tobbs. We had to see if it worked. We had to see if it worked. We had to see if the shot was going to work. Is one of them a video and I'm thrusting? There is a couple of videos. I just wanted to get-

The video may have already been in the Patreon on Saturday. Oh, there you go. Okay, there you go. Well, okay, I'll watch the things that we post in Patreon. Yeah. Okay. Charles Patterson presents. Well, everybody's seen that.

So there was some practices obviously needed. But I'm imagining you taking them. And I don't think that I would be that comfortable because I would be embarrassed. Who's your number one cheerleader? I know. Who gases you up more than anyone else? No, and it's you, 1000 percent. Because I've a few friends of mine, right? Have like, like this is when I was younger.

And so I had a lot of friends that like, were part of the church and got married quite young and hadn't like had sex before they got married. So their wedding day, they like gave them their husband, the brand new husbands and like sexy Polaroids. And I was like, who told those? And they're like, oh, my sister. And I was like, who took those? And they're like, oh, my sister. And I was like, that's actually hot and really cool. I would not let my sister take naked photos of me. That is so strange. Yeah. Yeah. Like I couldn't. I don't think that there's anybody

that I would let take a naked photo of me because I just, I'm, I'm not that hot and that's okay. Like we're all fine with it. But like. Fake news, fake news. But. No. What are you doing this afternoon? Yeah, well sure, let's do it. I reckon, no, this is an empowering moment in the life of Tony Lodge.

We'll be in Charles' door for you. Thank you guys. It's just like an engagement. We'll both there. Yeah. It is just like that and you were both there. And we'll practice in a few different positions. Yeah, I'll DOP Ryan.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You know what? That's gas me right up. Yeah, I'll D.O.P. Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You know what? That's gas me right up. Yeah. I hope that I win a boudoir photography session. We'll get in for two o'clock this afternoon. Yeah. What are you doing this afternoon? Now I'm getting my kid off for my two best friends. Oh, can I give some life advice? Now I'm all for the boudoir shoot. Yeah? Love it. Love it for you. Don't you dare say what you're about to say.

Love it for us this afternoon. What do you think I'm going to say? Go. No, what do you think I'm going to say? You're going to talk about where you're allowed to hang it up. Yes. No, no. You can hang it up wherever the fuck you want.

That's not what it sounds like you're about to say, is it? If you're selling your house, Take it down. and having open for inspections for someone else to buy the house, the inspection is more open than your house. Take the fucking boudoir shots down because all I'm picturing is you getting railed in a house I want to live in. No, thank you. I want to pretend. Hey, you don't want to imagine getting fucked in my house. Wait. You know what I mean. An open for a home. And even family photos. They just

really. I think that they normally take them down don't they? Well because now they'll like stage them and look at them like neutral and put art. Even they took the TV out and put a picture there which is fucking dumb. She's like I'm going to watch TV. Our house, like the house that we bought, that was fully fully none of that furniture was theirs. Yeah so when I emailed them and I was like hey just wondering how big your couch is because we want to get something similar before we move in and they're like that wasn't ours. Yeah yeah. They're like we don't even have a couch there and I was like oh my god. You got got. I did. You got got. They saw me coming. So that's why even like

family photos, it just really reminds you that it's someone else's house right now. Yeah, you can't picture your life in it. I've walked into the master bedroom and there's photos on the wall. Photos, yep. Photos on the wall of the wife, mother, whatever,

like really sexy photos on the wall of our own bedroom. But did it give you just the idea of what it would be like to have a chub on in there? Cut that out. Cut that out. That's staining man. Like if you're like, oh cool, I'll buy this house cause this is what it feels like to have a stiffy in here.

No, we're cutting that out. We're actually cutting that out. No, but like. But then you're thinking about- I would be mortified. Having a chub or a stiffy for the previous owner's wife. You know what I mean? If I had a stiffy, no, not a stiffy-

Did she come with the house or? Oh, you'd be coming with me. We have to cut this out, hey. No, no. If I'd given real slutty photos to Torbs, and they were up in our bedroom. I mean, the second, the second that anybody was coming over, I would take it down just in case they were like,

can I grab something from your bathroom? And I went, yeah. And then they walked in there and like, it's just cause I'm like quite private about that. I wouldn't want anyone to see that. But it is your room. Yeah, totally. But also if you were over and you're like,

can I borrow a jumper? I'd be like, yeah, go grab something. I'm not protective of my space. Then I would see those photos and go, oh. That's what it feels like to have a chub in here. I'm Torbz and I've got a stiffy in your room. Well, we would have already seen it because we took the photos to put it up.

So true. That is true. So you've already seen it. And besides Torb to put it up. So true. That is true. So you've already seen it. And besides Torbz and me and Charles, who else is going in your room? Yeah, no one. We actually, okay, off air chat. Nah, on air.

We have to cut that out. Everything's staying in. No, you've just heard a heap of beeps and not someone coming out. Everything's staying in. Are we leaving in Stiffy and Chubby? The person who does the beeps is on annual leave. The beeps are on holiday. Yeah, Mr. Beeps. He's out.

Mr. Beeps. I've got to love to see it. And this sounds a bit crazy because of all the places that this podcast has gone today. Is it what happened when I was at uni? No, it's not. Oh, I didn't forget I said anything. It's not. Now you go. Oh, I didn't forget I said anything. It's not.

No, you go. Oh, I accidentally sexted Ryan yesterday. When he was at uni. The boobwop photography. When he was at university, don't want to talk about it. No, okay. My love to see it, is that the other day? My love to see it, is that-

I had a chub on at someone else's house. Charles came into work and he goes, I made a milkshake last night. He was pretty pumped about it. I was. You were excited. And then Lily goes, how did you have all the stuff? And Charles goes, well, I had the ice cream,

I had the milk. And Lily goes, what else did you have? Well, I had the ice cream, I had the milk, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, So I really love to see that we're all just like really pumped about all of our own ventures in our lives. This is the thing, our friendship goes beyond 5pm. And I love to see that. Well, I did have that at midday because I was working from home that day. So I did make it on company time. Yeah, that's right, because you said that you walked to Oakbury for your lunch break and then you got home and made a milkshake.

Charles lives a pretty good life. Yeah, the other day I emailed him and was like, oh hey, we're not meeting today so like, we'll reschedule it but like, feel free to work from home. He calls me and he goes, thank God you said that, I'm still in bed. It's like, okay. Three minutes before he was due in.

Yes, yes. I was like, well that's probably for the best because you probably should have left by now. It's 8.57, mate. He was on the other side of town. Yeah. And that big train is going to go over that big road soon. Can I just?

I love to see it. I absolutely love to see it. I would just like to take a moment to talk about Me texting you at uni last night. No, we'll get to that later in the week, maybe. Okay. There's a lot of chat about the workplace, working from home, working in corporate settings in the office and post COVID people are going back to the office.

And I would just like to say, if your corporate culture doesn't include milkshakes and taking naked photos of your boss, then that is not the work place that you should be in. We can't say that. And you've always said that. No, we can't always say that. Legally, we are not allowed to say that. This will not hold up in court of law. I'm just letting you know.

Tony, those photos I saw when I went to grab a towel, who took those? Oh, some teenager that I paid. Were you pooing? You needed a towel? So I'm lashing out. You're lashing out. I'm lashing out. You're very defensive. I paid. Were you pooing? You needed a towel? So I'm lashing out. You're lashing out. You're very defensive. I think you need to change tone because this afternoon. Oh you need to change right. Okay. That's good. That is good but you are lashing out. What kind of mood do we need this

afternoon for the shoot? Is there a playlist you'd prefer? I could do a playlist. What sort of music you thinking? You put one in Patreon last week, should we use that one? I've just popped one in Patreon. But was it the right feel for this? It's pretty, I can't believe you haven't listened to it yet, that's pretty fucked up. I think it is. Yeah? I think it's the right vibe. Well, how would you classify the vibe Charles of the playlist that went into Patreon last week? Hey, you added Charles classify the vibe Charles of the playlist that went into Patreon last week? Hey, you, you added Charles because he put something in the vid that you didn't. Yeah, fuck.

Yeah, so you just maybe watch your fucking vids. Yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair. But if I was to give a vibe to that playlist, I would say like a chill pop. You're completely wrong, Charles. Do we have any chill pops in the Fraser? We do have Zupa Dupas. Fuck yeah. That's in the episode.

Oh no, we have to do the- You've got to do what you love to say. Have you done what you love to say? Yeah, Charles' milkshake. Charles' milkshake brings up the place in the yard and they're like, we should be at work. Nah, what do you got? Big dog?

Pam, who's the tarpa? I love to see Pam. Champagne leg Pam. Can I get a shaved Pam? Oh, sorry. Pam that's private. She will. I got to use Tony's engagement to help announce my own engagement. What! Congratulations! I got engaged the same day Tony announced hers. Stole her thunder, Tony. Yeah, fucking sorry about that, Pam. My sister is also a tarpa and I called her and said, did you listen to today's episode? And the sister goes, yeah, Tony got engaged. And then Pam said, well, I might have to start my own podcast to share my news as well. And the sister goes, what do you mean? Does that mean she goes, yep, I'm engaged as well

and we're getting married, it's gonna be so good. So now both myself, my partner and Tony are all planning weddings, dot dot dot, in time. That is so beautiful. I can't believe I was part of you telling your sister. That's so sweet. Yeah, that's huge. So congratulations, Pam.

Congratulations, Pam's partner. Fuck say Pam's partner twice fast. Pam's partner, Pam's partner. Oh yeah. Wow. That's tricky. This is long. Has this felt long? Yeah.

How long we gone? About 40 minutes. Oh, so not really. Not really. Do you know, sorry, I ordered something off the iconic like 20 minutes ago, like during the break. Put me on the air, sorry mate. Are you at work right now? Are you at work right now? It's already on the way. Are you at work right now? Before our delivery. Oh, having a milkshake on company time, says old mate here, online shopping,

what did you buy? It was before, online shopping. What did you buy? It was before we went. What did you buy? It was before I did the champion time shout out. What did you buy? Is it something for the shoot? Oh. Ha ha ha.

It's not. Let me slip into something a little bit more comfortable. Ha ha. Australia Post. Yeah. Yeah, I'm wearing a post man. They won't come on time. Oh.

Ha ha ha. Oh, that's enough for me. I'm gonna pose with the mail. It's a cool bag, guys. I hope you get enough. For iconic stuff posted. Free returns, baby. Free returns!

Alright, that's enough for me. I'm fucking done. Love you. I'm sorry I've run. This episode was awful. Love you so much. And look forward, if anyone gets to go into Tony's room in the next... Hey, someone's gonna come in my box next week.

Oh yeah! Sorry everyone, this episode was awful. Love you so much. And look forward, if anyone gets to go into Tony's room in the next. Hey, someone's gonna come in my box next week. Oh yeah. Hope you're answering your phones tomorrow. I'm gonna say something that is a little bit crazy. The color of this episode is purple. It actually is.

It is, isn't it? The color of this episode is purple. Coincidence chat. I would love for people to comment on that in the Facebook group today. I was thinking last night we should revisit the the color names thing. Literally last night I was thinking that. Coincidence chat. We are as one. I literally love you. I love you too and I'm gonna be so chubbed up for you later when I'm taking photos. Bye everyone. Oh Tony, no that's my microphone. Don't kiss into my microphone. Oh sorry, I really just thrusted a little bit. Bye. Goodbye. And bye from over here. Do you

know what's crazy is that today's episode is the one with the spider. She's spitting on the chair. I've already left.