Toni and Ryan - Toni's Top 6

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Retro problems and THE HIERARCHY OF COMMUNICATION!!! Love you so MUCH!!! Toni xoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling a forensic scientist. Oh my God. Hide your fingerprints. CSI Phoenix. We're calling Kimbo. CSI Phoenix. That's very funny. Well, that's where she's from. Yeah, but that's very, very funny. Did they get a season in Phoenix? Hello, Kimbo!

Tony and Ryan? Hello! How, Kimbo. Tony and Brian. Hello. Live and breathe. How are you? We're well, thank you. What's it like being a forensic CSI scientist? Oh, my God. Is that why it's called CSI?

Because that's how you spell. Oh, no, that's SCI. I was like, it's like how you spell scientist. Sorry, Kimbo. That would be, you know. That would be very clever, but no, we're not that clever, unfortunately. So what are you forensically scientisting, Kimbo? So I work in DNA serology, which means that I search stuff for bodily fluid. Me too, but just as a hobby.

Yeah. That's a different science. Yeah, Kimbo, I'd hate for you and your sniffer dog to go to see Tony's room. You'd just be going off. Kimbo, will you approve today's episode? As I live and breathe, of course. Yeah. Hiya, it's Kimbo from Phoenix, Arizona in the US

and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, you're going to meet a young hustler. A young hustler? Yeah, a young businessman, and we can all learn something from this little kid. Is this Ryan John Dunn back in the day? No. Are we going back in time? No.

No. Oh. I wish it was. I wish it was too. But first, let's do some retro problems. Problems that don't exist anymore. I love this. Yeah.

We've really stumbled upon some gold. Yeah. Well, this is just, it sounds funny to say it now, but it's just real frustrating. Okay. Natalie. Hi, Natalie. Retro problem. Instead of using Google Maps in real time,

we had to print off directions or write them down before hitting the road. Wasn't that just the worst time to be alive? Well, I didn't. Map quest. I didn't drive then. Really? Like I didn't have my license kind of during the time before. Like Google Maps, it wasn't great yet.

Yeah. But it was a thing. Yeah. And because I was 18, I was only really driving places I knew how to get to. Yeah. Yeah. But it was a thing. Yeah. And because I was 18, I was only really driving places I knew how to get to. Yeah. Like I was driving to uni and I like knew the way. Yeah. So I missed this, but my older sisters, I remember like one of their friends

had like a girlfriend's house or their parents' house or something and she'd written it out, like handwritten it out and taped it to her steering wheel because she like went there a few times and like just couldn't remember the way and she had it like taped to the steering wheel. So the worst thing, I remember when we were in the US and we were doing a few like weekend roadies and stuff and it would be like.

Like when you were living there? Yes. I think it was MapQuest and we'd print it out and it was like. And it would be like. Like when you were living there. Yes. I think it was MapQuest and we'd print it out and it was like. And it would be like, turn left at blah. Yeah, but it would be like, travel this way for 27 minutes. Yeah. And you're like, at what speed? During what traffic?

Yeah. So you kind of go, oh, it's been about 25 minutes, so I guess the next left. Like start looking out for the thing. Yeah. And it was just a fucking nightmare. But my, when I got my license, my mum and dad gave me like a Perth. What was it called?

Because in Melbourne it was called the Melways. No, it wasn't. Obviously it wasn't that. But it was like so in WA that's called Main Roads. Right. So I think it was like the UBD Main main roads like book of perth or something and like every few years i had to update it with the new suburbs and the new roads and like if something was one way or whatever and i actually threw that book out last year because that long yeah i had it

and it was just in the back of my car and so so every time, so I'd like got that, like my first car. And then I bought my own car and transferred it into that. And then it was in my Yaris. So you're driving around Melbourne with an old book of Perth main roads. Well, I'd lived in Perth, Bunbury, Sydney and Melbourne and had that same book in the car. And then when I sold my Yaris and bought my Audi, I just took everything out of my Yaris and, like, popped it in my Audi and last year went, well, that's for Perth

and also I've never used it. Like, my mum and dad gave it to me, like, oh, just in case you get stuck, like, you'll always have a map. But I was like, well, like, you don't use that anymore. Touch wood, everyone. Yeah, touch wood. Imagine if you broke down later today in Perth. Yeah, and I didn't know where the fucking Graham Farmer Freeway was.

So one thing, because when I was little and was playing local footy, when you played an away game, you're like, well, where the fuck is the other team's ground? Yes. And so I remember I showed Dad, I'm like, oh, here it is on the map. And Dad goes, yeah, but like how do I get there? Yeah. And you'd have to just find like the nearest big road that you knew how to get to and then try and figure out getting up.

But the worst is like you'd go down and it goes, oh, if you go down, that's page 84. Yeah. So you're trying to find the next thing or you're doing the like, you go to the index at the back and you're like trying to get to Carousel Shopping Centre and they go, yep, that's D4 on page 900. So then you'd find the thing and then you'd have to like work

back from there these days we'll never know fuck i don't know how my parents did that that sounds like an absolute man no wonder we went to the same places all the time they're like if i have to look in that fucking book no fucking way uh erin said a retro problem running out of room on your mp3 player and having to decide which songs were no longer worthy to make room for your new favorites they only held like 25 songs wow it was like um were you in myspace was that yeah and then like choosing your friends or like your top eight or top four or whatever imagine that now was that the birthplace of anxiety yeah probably because at the time you

thought you're like being really edgy, like, I'll fucking show that bitch. I'll put her down at seven. Yeah, and you'd have, like, a micro argument and you'd knock them down. Yeah. Or take them out. Yeah. Oh, like, of your top eight.

Fucking hell. Yeah, I buried them at page 900. What do you think the equivalent of that is now? Oh, I think in Spotify, my playlist, I've got my liked songs. Oh, no, no, no. I mean of like your top eight. Oh, no, I've like taken people out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but like is that like your close friend's story? Like if you're not on someone's close friend's story or something? I don't have a close friend's story because I get too, why would I post something that could very easily like. I think for people who are like, I've got friends who are teachers and when they stretch their legs on the weekend. Yeah, right. You know who's seeing that. Yeah, I don't want any students seeing me at 4am on Sunday mornings on the way home from the bar. With me kebab. Yeah, me teeth in me pocket. Yeah.

The Rocks, remember that guy? We told that story about the guy who fell over and he goes, I've got my teeth in my pocket and it was just gravel from the road. Sorry, it was a tarp of throwback. Do you think there was like there would have been a time where speed dial was the new MySpace top eight? What's speed dial? Like in your like it's like just press number one and it calls Tony.

Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh, because I've got my favorites in my, like, you know how. Who are your favorites? In your text or calls? So that's in your call. So it's just people that I call all the time. Yeah, it's just people I call all the time.

Go, read from five to one. So at the bottom of the list is Sophie. Oh. Because I call her pretty often. Okay. Then my brother. Yep. So there's three people above your brother, Jamie.

No, so there's one, two, three. I've got six. Okay. Sophie, who works above your brother, Jamie. No. So there's one, two, three. I've got six. Okay. Sophie, who works with us. Jamie, my brother. Yep. Libby, my sister. Ooh.

Fiona. Our friend Fiona. Our friend Fiona. Yeah. At three? Yeah, is number three. Ooh. Hey, let me take a sip of my coffee here.

Number two is Torps. Yeah, suck on that. Suck on that. And number one. Number one, baby. Sophie just said it's James. No it's you it's fine sorry james i'll add you after this how do i find my favorites it's just like the see on your call log like when you open the phone up and there's like a little star oh i've never looked at that you might not have it i've got no favorites yeah i've just got it because it's it's much easier but then i've also you're pinned

right at the top of my messages as well. Is a naked person on your pin? No, it's my brother is just wearing a pink shirt. Finally, Kelsey Armstrong. Retro problem, having to get up from the couch to change the channel. So glad we've moved past that. Could you imagine with all Netflix's options? God, you'd watch so much shit, wouldn't you?

Because you just couldn't be fucked getting up. Well, that's how I got into border security. Oh, because you just couldn't be fucked. Yeah, but I had the remote. Yeah, I was going to say, that's a pretty new show. Yeah, fuck. No, I watch border security by choice. I search it out.

I look through the guide and I'm like, yes! It's her favorite. Yeah. Between me and Torbs on the list. Hi, it's Kimbo from Phoenix, Arizona in the US and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. I'm as you shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our patreon um and every level of tapa is currently scrolling across the bottom of the video show if you're watching it um any level of tapa and every person on ntoniites list. Favourites list, yeah.

None of the people on my favourites list are Patreon members. I highly doubt that any of the people that I just listed are. Torb wouldn't be. Sophie wouldn't be. Our friend Fiona might be. Yeah, she might be. Anyway, Nicky Lyon. Tell the truth.

Tell me the truth, dog. Ah, best friends. Yeah. Rolls off the tongue so nicely, doesn't it? Nikki Lyon. Good on you, Nikki. Oh, don't. Sarah V. Smith.

Oh, she's very Smith. Harvey. Harvey Smith. No, just kidding. Joanna Mendoza and Meg Rockwood. Thank you very much. Legends. Thank you so much.

and Meg Rockwood. Thank you very much. Legends. Thank you so much. We have created in our community, in our friendship, what we decided and dubbed the hierarchy of communication. Now this is from way back. It is real early days because, and we'll explain what it is, but basically it was implemented because Ryan and I, we were just getting to know each other.

We didn't really know a lot about it. So every time we kind of learnt something about each other, we're like, oh, yeah, lock that one away, like get to know each other. But, Ryan, can you bless us with the description of what the hierarchy of communication is? I can give you the description, but I can't remember the exact story, so if anyone can remind me. But basically the more important something is, the further up the hierarchy of communication you need to go

for example um when bridget my wife told tony that we were expecting a baby that bridget was pregnant we invited you to come around because for something so important, it deserved to be face-to-face. There has been times where I have texted you something important and you go, oh, that's probably a phone call. Yeah, well, because you read that and you go, fuck, like lube me up first. Do you know what I mean? And then there was another time I think where I saw something really silly and I FaceTimed Tony and Tony went, oh, my God, it's calling.

It must be important. A FaceTime is big news. Is big news. And normally good news. Yeah. Like you don't FaceTime and go, oh, Aunty Anne's dead. Do you? Well.

Like you don't do that. Sorry. Yeah, she's fine. But if she did die, how would you want me to tell you? I feel that's also a FaceTime. I don't think that's a FaceTime. I think that's a call. Yeah. Because it's not like you want the vision. I don't think that's a FaceTime. I think that's a call. Yeah.

Because you don't, it's not like you want the vision. I want to see the look on your face. Yeah. That's not how you like to. So Tony goes, oh, you've overshot. Yeah, like that's probably not really how you would deliver that news because I got so excited that it was. So what we're saying is depending on the importance of news yeah will

impact the way you tell someone the delivery text a dm a phone call and in person that is the hierarchy of communication and you know when you do like a text to be like hey i need to tell you something like do you have five minutes yeah that's up there, right? That's right up there. That's two modes of communication. Yes, because you go, I need to like tell you that it's going to take a bit of time. Now, can I tell people what was mentioned yesterday? Yeah. Tony says, I want to talk about the hierarchy of communication

because there's something I can't tell you today, but I need to tell you in person when we do the show. And then you show me your hands. And I said, don't worry. It's not that. It's not a proposal. I just feel like. I thought maybe at the Northern Lights Maroon 5 was playing.

Yeah, the mood was right. And I think that like. But when you say, I need to tell you in person, the hierarchy of communication would like, you know, I'm sort of, the brain starts wondering. Yeah. Fuck, this is serious. Is she married? No, no, no. And I just, I think as well, I'm sort of, the brain starts wondering. Yeah. Fuck, this is serious. Is she married?

No, no, no. And I just, I think as well, I'm at the point where whenever I go, oh my God, guess what? People go, oh, you're engaged or you're pregnant. It is actually annoying. Like, and so I'm just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. Your self's pregnant.

But it was something that I knew I had to tell you in person. Is it good or bad? The Northern Lights is a fucking ruse. No, no, no, no. But I knew that I had to tell you in person because what was the example that you just gave when you and your wife found out that you were pregnant? You are pregnant. No, I'm not pregnant.

And you just agreed with me how annoying it is when people do that. Yeah, that was the example though. But that you decided that like Tony needs to hear this in person and that's how important that was. Yeah. And I couldn't call every single tarper on the phone. So you thought you'd tell us all together. So I thought I'd tell you all together.

Oh, so it's not just for me, it's for everyone. It's for everybody, but it's a big thing that's happened. You're not going to write another book, are you? No, fuck no. No. I didn't think so. I did my first far at pilates thank you for sharing so i couldn't text that to you right no well thank god i just get this

like voice remember that goes and how was it received no No one said a thing. Good. Right? Yeah. Is it just because it's like a don't make a big deal and it's not a big deal? Well. Have you heard anyone else fart since you started?

Not that I've ever remembered, but you're concentrating so hard that I'm like maybe it's happened and I literally just haven't heard it because I'm like thinking so hard about what I'm doing. How loud was it? I know, like it's important for us to know. No, it is. It is. It was.

I'm going to do it, recreate it with my mouth and I'm going to tell you what I was doing as I was doing it so that you can get the full picture. So there's this thing in Pilates that we do and you roll like a ball. So you've got your- Oh, and your knees are up. That's unfair. thing in Pilates that we do and you roll like a ball. So you've got your- Oh, and your knees are up. That's unfair.

Yeah. So your hands are like under your thighs and your legs are like open and you roll back and then you roll back up. And when you roll back up, you have to hold your legs off. So your core is like fully engaged. I don't want to say she was asking for it. But I mean- You know what I'm saying? It's the ultimate spot, isn't it?

So I've rolled back with my legs open. And to roll back, do you need to kind of like give a bit of a. Well, a little bit. But the idea is that your core is doing all the work. So there's just that squeeze in your core. You're fucking. Yeah. You're in trouble.

So I've got my legs open. I've rolled back. All good. And then I'm rolling back up and it goes. On the way down. On the way back up. And that was the sound? On the way back up.

That was the sound? So I've gone down and then I've gone. As I roll back up. That was good audio work from the audio queen. And as the, I went. It gives us a genuine shock. Because I went. It surprised everyone.

Including me. I didn't know it was coming. Clearly not. Now, I did. What percentage chance do you reckon they heard it? Okay. So, there was. You have to put a number on it.

So, there is always like low music playing in the thing. It's often just like a feel good playlist that she puts on. And there was four other women in the class like participating. Yeah. Plus me, plus the teacher. Okay. So, there's a plus me, plus the teacher. Okay. So there's a room full of people. Yep.

So I feel like it's very unlikely that no one heard it. Yeah. But no one said anything. No one even looked over. But could it have been a body hitting or a move or a squirt? Like, you know what I mean? Because the sounds of just bodies moving and hitting the mat and T-shirts peeling off the thing and maybe it's just.

Yeah, I love how good you're trying to make me feel about it. No, it was a fart. It was a big fart. No, it actually didn't smell, thank fucking God. But there's been a few times when I've been in the pilates thing and been like oh like i think i need to fart and you've got all and i've like been like i've got to hold that in but because of what you're doing it kind of just like your body's loose and it's relaxed and it's like it takes it you're holding it in defeats the purpose of pilates yeah and because you're like

concentrating on your breathing it's just like a distraction. I get it. Anyway, and so I've been really nervous that one was going to slip out and then it happened and it was fine. And is that some sort of like you go, oh, all this fear and anxiety and I didn't need to worry all along. Well, because the whole time I thought, am I the only person that's ever needed to fart during Pilates? A hundred percent, no. People have been holding them in for years.

And that's why I was so scared because I was like, I've never heard anyone else do it, so maybe I'm the only one. And then afterwards I Googled it, right? And people were like, no, it's happened to me before and everyone just ignored it. And so I wanted to shout from the rooftops, if you've ever been embarrassed for doing a fart in a class like that, don't be because I did it as the guinea pig of the group.

I did it. Are you going to sit here and claim, just like my wife claims that she invented the feature nail, are you going to sit here and claim? She didn't. I hope she's not listening today. She's not. Any day.

Are you going to sit here and claim you're the first person to fart in a Pilates class? No, but I think I'm probably the first person to do it and then let people know that I did. Yeah, true. To however many people are listening and watching for that. And do you think other Pilates goers will hear this and kind of go, thank you for giving me permission to have a fucking body that does fucking things and also to just like the fact that it happened and that it was fine you know when sometimes you just

need some social proof that if it is to happen like it's all good everyone says it's all good but it's probably not yeah well it actually is, like it happened to me and I'm here to fucking let you know that like no one said anything. No one giggled. No one even looked over at me. And because I went as like because it scared me and because I was embarrassed. Oh, yeah.

But it was fine. Do you reckon that in hindsight the fart or the which was more embarrassing but because it obviously scared me because i was just concentrating on what i was doing that it just like random random random random so mabel hasn't learned yet that like farts are like not socially acceptable. Which, yeah. You know? And it's silly, but yeah. So she's just like, oh, my body's doing its thing.

She's got no idea what that is. Yeah. And she couldn't hold it in even if she wanted to yet. Yeah, so she just farts. And then I kind of go, well, we're not born with a grossness or an anti, like it's something we've learned. Yeah, it's like social conditioning or whatever. Why are we conditioning ourselves to be anti-fart? I think because a fart is often pretty fucking lethal.

And, like, have you ever been, like, in a supermarket when someone's, like, crop dusted you or something like that and you're like, well, fucking that's not okay? Because often a fart is like pretty fucked. Yeah. And like but I think that if you're just walking around and you can hold it in, it's more polite to do that. Okay.

But I think that when your body is moving and you're squishing and squashing yourself into random spots, it's probably more dangerous to hold it in because you pop something out. Yeah, it is dangerous. You know? I think this is a community service announcement. But I just wanted to let anybody know that if you are participating in something like Pilates where you're like rolling around

and you can't be helped, no one fucking gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck. That is great news. Thank you for bringing that to us and thank you for telling us all in person on a video show today so people can watch it. I thought that that was, I'm just doing my bit for the Pafadis community. You are doing your bit, the Pafadis community. And can you confirm not engaged. Not engaged, not

pregnant, none of that. Just farted at Pilates. Thank you for sharing. I'm the best best you are the best i've got you love to see it speaking of a video show you can watch this on the spotify app and you'll be able to see this video but tony opened it up i've just sent it to you chuck the uh the volume on just um a couple of young entrepreneurs trying to make a buck yeah trying to be good samaritans and i just love it hi Hi, do you want us to shovel your driveway for 20 bucks? Um, yeah.

Yes, we do. I'll get you 20 bucks right now but we have to leave so I'll give you the money and if you can shovel it then we'll be back in an hour, okay?

Okay. Okay, one second. Cheers. Cheers. We're rich. We're rich. We're viable. We're viable.

We're viable. We're rich. We're rich. Our paper bags, oh, that'd be great, actually. Look, he says, can we shovel your driveway for $20? The lady goes, oh, that'd be great, actually. Look, we've got to head out. Here's the $20. Just do a good job and have a great day. And the kids go, holy fuck, we're going to be rich.

What are we going to do with our money? We need a bag to carry our cash around. And then the final line, what does he say? He says, let's do a really good job because she paid us first. That's the right attitude. Isn't that so sweet? Don't you just love to see that? Yeah.

Because some young punks go, I've already got the money. Let's just fucking get out of here. Who cares? Yeah. No, let's do a good job. Repeat business. That is so sweet. Yeah.

You do love to see that. You do love to see that. I've got a love to see here that Valerie sent through on Patreon. Was Valerie the name that got you going? Vivian. Oh? Vivian. Oh, Vivian. Sorry, Valerie. And Val says, on a five-hour road trip,

my five-year-old was about to pee right in the car, like was absolutely desperate for the toilet, but there was no public bathrooms around where we were, like middle of nowhere. We pulled over on the side of the road and ran to install the little potty outside of the car because I guess like learning to use the toilet, kind of getting comfortable with doing that and they go, like we've got to set something up, like, you know,

the good habits or whatever. Rush to let her have a sit down and they're overlooking this beautiful valley like where they were, the Marjorie Valley, Val said. We look up as she's kind of doing a little scrunchy poo face. Yeah. We look up and there's a sign above them that says no dumping. I love to see that. And obviously it's like, don't dump your rubbish here.

But this little five-year-old girl is doing a little poo face. I don't have a photo because you can't send photos in Patreon. And probably your kid's taking a shit, so maybe don't take a photo. Exactly what I was. Yeah. Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But Val's husband said, who actually doesn't listen to much of the podcast, but they were laughing and Val's husband says, oh, the only two people he imagined would have laughed as hard as they did was us. Fuck yeah. Give your husband a pay rise. I know he's not your employee, but sure. Yeah, you know your audience when you send us something like that.

But thank you very much for sharing that. It's like, mate, I saw that and pissed myself. That's so good. No dumping. Hilarious. Very good. east myself no dumping hilarious very good um coming up on monday i've got a a sexy story sexy however you know how we've kind of got um if someone's shit on themselves i can't no there's no shit okay great you know how a few times we've got in trouble for, like, reading out a confession or a story and not kind of waving the

this is clearly bullshit flag? Oh, yeah. Like we've taken it and it's... This didn't happen. Oh, that's a big call. Yeah. This person has... No, no, no.

Don't tell me anything. I'm going to save my judgment till monday and i will judge lodge is in session but you're gonna i'll just say you're gonna hear someone telling a story about doing the hippity dippity and there's no way okay it's i'll be the judge now you being a doctor are you what's your thing with like physics and mechanics and stuff pretty good yeah i just don't i'm an engineer physically yeah and mechanically yeah what they're claiming they did is actually possible is this like when someone said they picked someone up to have sex with them because bullshit obviously they picked someone up yeah and had sex with them are you talking about the upside down 69

yeah no bullshit it's worse than that also i'm sick of people lying. In that video about the upside down 69, a lot of people claim it's true. Well, they're all lying. They're all kidding themselves. All right, I'll share that with you on Monday. Love you, bye. Have a good weekend. Love you.