Toni and Ryan - TONlyFans

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Yep - you read that pun correctly. Like OnlyFans... But TONlyFans. Get it??????? Love u!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship. Our captain, Lord Saviour, best-selling doctor, author, Tony Lodge, is here as well. Thank you. Hello. You're welcome. The honour is all mine. We are calling Jess, who's in Canberra, and she works in the public service. And for those playing along at home in the US, I feel like Canberra is our Washington DC, right? Oh, yeah. Because when you say, oh, they work in the public sector in Washington DC D.C., everyone goes, oh, yeah, cool, cool, cool. Oh, that's a good way of putting it. Hi, is that Jess?

It is. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? We're good, Jess. What are you up to? Are you in the car?

Yeah, I'm driving to work, listening to the pod. Oh, great. I was going to say, I hope you're not taking this call during work time on the Pax Tayer's dime. What did I try to say? The Tax Payer's dime. Yeah. You know what, Jess?

You do whatever the fuck you want because this is the kind of guy that's paying your taxes. I wouldn't worry about it. Will you approve today's podcast, Jess, you do whatever the fuck you want because this is the kind of guy that's paying your taxes. I wouldn't worry about it. Will you approve today's podcast, Jess? Yeah, I actually will. Oh, thank you, I guess. Thank you so much. Hey, it's Jess from Canberra and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today.

Normally, I'm feuding with the post office. Yeah. But today, I'm feuding with the bank. The bank's like, I've set my sights on the bank Great Who are you taking down today? I'm not going to say the bank Yeah Obviously

Because that would be rude Not like all the businesses We named yesterday Yeah If yesterday Oh my god It's actually Commonwealth Bank Commonwealth with a K

If yesterday's episode Like randomly Isn't there one day Yeah It's because It's because one of the 57 businesses with their fame. It's literally a cease and desist, like, from fucking. But Tony is taking down a financial institution coming up today.

You heard here first. I don't. Yeah, I don't know what to expect. Wow. Really speechless. Yeah. But first, let's do confessions. These are top confessions.

And top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast. You can submit all of your confessions at our website. You'll see it on the thing. Very anonymous. Frustratingly anonymous. Tonyandryan.com.au. Dick loving Dexter has a confession. Hmm.

I wonder what direction this confession is going in. Actually, if you were to hazard a guess. I wonder what direction this confession is going in. Actually, if you were to hazard a guess. I'm guessing some kind of hookup gone wrong or like a- You know Dexter's a show about murder, right? Isn't it? I've never seen it. Oh, it is actually. So when you say hookup gone wrong, like really?

Oh, I didn't even make the connection between, like, Dexter and Dexter. And Dick Loving. I actually thought Dexter, like, kind of sounds like an animal's name. Well, he is an animal. Yeah. Like, what sort of animal? Oh, I don't know. Like, it sounds like a pet's-

Did you call it a rabbit? It kind of sounds like a pet's name, doesn't it? Dexter, come on. Yeah. I think you did. You did. Dick loving Dexter has sent in a confession. During lockdown...

Oh, my God. How would an animal send this in? All good. Like the rabbit is typing on the computer. Computer with a cape. During lockdown, Grindr was pretty dire. I was lonely and decided to buy a full-body latex sex doll with a giant slung. Cool.

It arrived in a box. I took it out of the box, threw the box away, and I never really used the working front or back parts of the doll. I kind of just wanted the feeling of someone laying next to me, which I kind of get it. Completely. feeling of someone laying next to me, which I kind of get it. Completely, especially during lockdown. It wasn't even, I bet, like very luckily I was locked down with my partner, Torb, so I was in a very safe, like loving thing.

We were locked together and it was all good. But I imagine that if you were single and like not even living with housemates or anything, it would literally just be the, like, the connection. Greatest thing ever. Sorry, introvert speaking. Well, we really enjoyed. Lockdown's extended. Sweet. Well, we really enjoyed lockdown because we actually like each other.

Yeah, same. The shock that people were like, oh, at home with the wife. I'm like, oh, my God, this is my dream. That I can never, like, not leave Torb's and I know where he is all the time because we just hang out. It was a real kind of line in the sand between couples that actually like each other, eh? Yeah, I think so. Bridget and I are way closer since COVID because of that.

Yeah. Because of us hanging out. And because it was just, like, the best downtime. Yeah. But I also do, like, can only imagine that it's not just, like, in a sex way but just, like like you haven't touched another person in however long. Like, because you couldn't even like go to the park for a while and see anybody.

Like, you would just miss like, yeah, the person. Remember when there was a sex bubble? Like, you could nominate one person to come over. Do you remember that in Melbourne? So, you're only allowed one person. That actually sounds like a fever dream. Yeah. As if that happened.

It really does. Lockdown ended. I met a boy and when I invited him over the first time, I panicked because I realised I still had this full-size sex doll in the house. And was it not a blow-up one that you could just like, you know, decompress or whatever? I had to somehow discreetly remove the sex doll. Could you just pop him in the cupboard or something? I got a large bread knife and tried to dismember it,

but it wasn't really working. So, I got a bunch of large garbage bags and duct tape and just, like, wrapped it up. Well, we've all seen those films, haven't we? Yeah. And Dexter. And Dexter. I think he, like, it didn't say specifically,

but I'm getting the vibes Of like Studio apartments So when you like Chuck it in the other Like there's no There's nothing Yeah

Not the bags with the Not the bags with the body The worst thing about This doll being a body Is that it was like a body It's a body A dead body I had to drag it down the hallway

And put it into the garbage chute And halfway there There's this old guy Who lives on my floor and he sees me and he sees what I'm holding. We both stop and we both look at each other. Question, what's worse? Having a human-sized sex doll or a guy thinking I've murdered someone and dumping a real body? What's less embarrassing? I actually don't know. No, definitely the dead body, obviously.

It's worse? Yes. Because a sex doll is so normal. Like, people enjoy sex and that's fine. But the dead body, like, that's not. And do you say something or are you like, I'll be your next victim? That's what I mean. Like, you can't. Like, if you saw someone dumping a body, right, and you not- And do you say something or are you like, I'll be your next victim? That's what I mean. Like, you can't-

Like, if you saw someone dumping a body, right, and you see them and you go, you're dumping a body, you go, I'm going to actually mind my own fucking business. Like, you don't then say something and go, yard trimmings or, like, all good? The old guy looks at me and says something. Oh, he's dead now? Hmm? The old guy looks at me and says something. Oh, he's dead now. Hmm. What the guy says is more concerning than what could possibly be happening. The guy goes, life, huh? And just walked off.

Like, how many people has that guy killed? You know what I mean? He's like, oh, we all been there. Have we? COVID, what a time. What a time. Oh, my God. That is just the most horrifying way that that could have gone.

Yeah, and it's like suddenly the guy with the body isn't the bad guy in this story. Imagine not being the worst person in the bin room at that time. Imagine. I'm not even top three. Look at these psychos over here. Look at this guy with an actual body. I'm like, oh, it's a sex doll and the other guys are like, oh yeah, me too. Just a sex doll.

Do you remember Life, huh? No. Do you remember- Life, huh? No. Do you remember that- You've got to do what you've got to do sometimes. How upsetting. You move straight away. You go, you know what? Don't want to live in the same building as that guy, actually.

That's okay. Probably not, eh? Do you remember that trend that went viral a few years ago of like sitting in the garbage bag and like vacuuming it up? Yes. So, i was working on jason pj the radio show that i used to work on i was working there at the time and um i was out and about doing a stunt in the morning and they were like oh on the way back could you go and grab um some garbage bags for we're gonna do that stunt i was like oh yeah absolutely that's fine and i was like oh they're going to have to be pretty big.

And he goes, oh, you can buy bin bags like for a green bin, like the outdoor bins. Gotcha. And so I go, oh, I'll call Bunnings and see if they have them in stock. Yeah. And just didn't even think about it. I call the Bunnings. The girl goes, hi, Bunnings, fucking Rachel speaking.

And I go, hey, Rachel, have you guys got bin bags that could like fit a body in it? about it i call the bunnings the girl goes hi bunnings fucking rachel speaking and i go hey rachel have you guys got bin bags that could like fit a body in it what did rachel say and she goes what project are you doing diy yeah i did yeah i did diy um you know when you got a problem and you just need a diy and um and i was like oh, sorry, I've just realised what I've said. Nah, it's like not, like I just need to fit a body in it. And she goes, yeah. Didn't sound better the second time. Yeah, you've said the same thing again.

And I was like, oh, you know that trend where you, like, put a body in it? She's like, we don't have them. And she, like, hung up on me. She's like, no, I'm not endorsing this. So, Rachel from the Bunnies. Sorry. Great choice. So, she's like, hang up the phone.

Fuck Rachel. I'll have to buy her a ten instead. Rock Lobster. Rock Lobster? When I was about six, I had a pet rock And it was beautiful and it was smooth And I loved it and I treated it like my own baby That's so sweet I put it in prams, tucked it into my bed every night

And even bathed with it One night, I was in the bath with my little sister And I stood up, turned around to grab some soap And my little sister thought it was a good idea to just Pop the rock inside my arsehole Because the rock was so small and smooth It just, whoop, straight in Sloop

Smoothest rock ever I freaked out, yelled at my sister Hang on, hang on at my sister hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on

hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on

hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on so smooth I don't what nothing Nothing.

There it goes. See you later. Smooth rock. Slip straight through. Slip. Stuff just doesn't go in your arsehole that easily normally. That's not what I've heard Cam say. Yeah, okay. Let's just... Yeah, okay. Let me just remove I've heard Pam say. Um, yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay. I freaked out, yelled at my sister, then ran to my mum and dad, still wet and crying because I thought I was going to die. There's a rock in my house. My parents raced me to the emergency and a doctor had to inspect my arsehole and try and grab it out with their

hands. The doctor couldn't get it and said that I'd have to poop it out. That probably would have been my first instinct, I think. A couple of days had gone by and I had- Oh my god, it was like a dam! Like a- Oh, yeah. Now that you've made- yeah. A plug! Yep. A... Yeah. A plug. Yep. A cork.

A cork. A couple of days later, I had the worst and most painful poo of my life whilst holding my mum's hand. Oh. My mum used to rub my tummy while I was pooing if I had a tummy ache. While you were pooing? Yeah. Like, if I'd be sitting there, she'd be, like, rubbing my tummy while I was pooing if I had a tummy ache. While you were pooing? Yeah, like if I'd be sitting there, she'd be like rubbing my tummy because I'd just get so emotional. That's so kind.

I just cannot hear that without laughing. So you're sitting on the toilet. Yeah, I'm sitting on the toilet and she'd have like- And you're crying. Yeah, I'd just be like, my tummy is so sore. And she'd have like one hand on my back, like on the top of my back and the other hand on my tummy. And she'd like rub my tummy. Do you often get scared in the bathroom?

Because I've heard a rumor when Torbs hears screaming from the bathroom, he has to remind you that you've eaten beetroot. Beetroot. Yeah. Because every time I think I've got internal bleeding. Yeah. So hang on, Torbs hears that. And he goes, we've had beetroot. Yeah.

Literally. Oh, good. Every time. Every single time. Very, very dangerous in summer when we're eating a lot of roasted beetroot. Honestly. Honestly, people need to be aware of that because it's not safe. But we're aware of it before we scream.

Nah. See, I always look at it. And then he goes, no, it's a... Yeah, beetroot. Every time. Every time. Anyway. The rock poo-er.

Sorry, rock lobster. My mum held my hand as I pooed and she inspected and confirmed that the rocket came out. You'd hear it hit the porcelain, wouldn't you? Yeah, like... I said goodbye to my favourite pet rock as we flushed it away. They could have gone, give a little scrub. No. No?

I reckon. No, but every time you looked at it, you'd be like, that's been in my son's arsehole. Yeah, well, if I did that every time I fucking saw someone I knew, I'd never get anything done. Imagine Cam walking through the city. Oh, arsehole, arsehole. You know, like, you just couldn't get anywhere.

Flush him away, flush him away, flush him. Yeah. If you had to cancel out everything that's been in his arse, there wouldn't be any blokes left in Collingwood. My sister and I have never spoken about it to this day, decades later. It's never been like, hey, remember that time you put a rock in my arsehole in the bath? Yeah, because it's weird as fuck. Yeah.

Why is it you don't just see something and go, oh, just put that in there? But he's like, I don't bring it up because it's weird for me that I've had a rock in my arsehole. And she doesn't bring it up because she doesn't want to admit to putting her rock in her brother's arsehole. To putting something in my arsehole. Yeah. Yeah, I think that if my brother had put a rock in my arsehole, we probably wouldn't talk about it. Hey, it's Jess from Canberra and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our favourite champion tapions from the Patreon. Kerry Gollidge.

Thank you so much, Kerry. Thanks, Kezar. Megan Monique. It might be Megan or Megan. Yeah. We always get that wrong. Sorry. I'm begging for your forgiveness.

Yeah. Yeah. That deserved better reaction from me. That was actually quite good. Thank you. It just took me a while to figure it out. Okay. Do you want me to do it again? Yeah, you go that deserved better reaction from me That was actually quite good Thank you It just took me a while to figure it out Okay, do you want me to do it again? Yeah, you go

Oh Sorry, sorry No, that was good Okay, Harris Vitanskas and Canalita and Miranda Sale Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon Absolutely love to see it Thank you very much Have you ever been scammed?

Ooh You or like everybody listening, producer Cam, I don't know, producer Scam. I think many people have attempted to scam me and I've maybe got a little bit further down the journey than I care to admit. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, on the phone, people were like, oh, this is the tax department.

Is that what you mean? One was literally the tax department geez that we mean or like one was literally the tax department where they're like your tax refund is ready but you need to like click here and accept and it looks so legit they do look legit i actually i feel really sad for people that get like fully scammed like that because they do look legit like um on sunday i was sitting in my house beautiful sunday absolutely loving my life but i'm sitting in my house, beautiful Sunday, absolutely loving my life, but I'm sitting in my house and I'm stressing because it's me.

What else did you do on Sunday? Exactly. I've got nothing else on, so I'm like, cool, let me spend some time stressing. What could I stress about today? A good old stress. No, so Torbs and I, we just bought a house. We haven't actually, I know we've mentioned a couple of times,

we haven't talked about it a lot because we like announced that and then I was sick. Like I was away and producer Cam, producer Cam, did a few episodes and stuff. So we haven't really talked about it. I'm not saying this in a judgy way, but when you say we haven't really talked about it, I feel like we have talked about it. I think we've mentioned it a lot because people

messaged me and they were like, why aren't you talking about the house? I was like, didn't we? I don't know. But I think it's because we talked about it and then we went on holiday. We talked about you not getting paid. Yeah. The place not getting paid. Yeah, but we haven't really, yeah, anyway. So, who's getting scammed now? So, we bought a house and we decided, my partner Torbs and I, because we bought the house like together. It's like our house. And we decided we'd sit down and go through our bank accounts and, like, get rid of a bunch of stuff.

Like unsubscribe to some shit. Yeah. Tidy up. Yeah. Yeah. So, we realised, we were like, oh, what we'll do, we'll sit down, we'll go through our bank accounts and, like, highlight all the stuff that we go, we're doing this a lot or we're, you know,

and because we pay for all of the streaming services. I reckon I've got Amazon Prime on two different email addresses, like dumb shit like that. Yeah, things like that. And I was like, I reckon because all of the streaming services adds up to like $100, $150 a month or something. Do you reckon you use them all? We use them all sparingly.

Yeah, like you could do if one wasn't there, you'd be fine. You probably wouldn't notice, no. I'm the same. Amazon Prime, really, Disney, I don't watch that much. I know. But then you go, oh, but if there's one thing I wanted to watch, am I going to sit there like an arsehole for two minutes and re-join? No, because I'm too lazy.

So then I just end up paying for them all. But I was like, you know what? Like, we probably don't need all of these. The other thing that I thought we could do is like, you know how if you've been with Telstra for ages or like Medibank Private or whatever. And you go, oh, I've actually been a customer for ages. Is that the best price you can do? Yeah. And you can like try and renegotiate.

Absolutely. So, I decided that that's what I was going to like go through. And I was like, I'm going to make a list of all the places that I'm going to try and like call and renegotiate. Absolutely. So, I decided that that's what I was going to, like, go through, and I was like, I'm going to make a list of all the places that I'm going to try and, like, call and renegotiate with or cancel or whatever on Monday. Anyway, I scroll down, and I don't actually get very far because I see this charge on my account from the 1st of September for $100 that I don't recognise.

$100 is a lot for I don't remember. Well, yeah. And I saw it and it actually, in the description, it said like $100 US. So, it was like $150 Australian dollars. Yeah, the Australian dollar to US is not good. Getting chomped at the moment. We're going to get chomped. Yeah, we are.

Oh, God. Yeah. I was looking the other day because you know how you can get those cards that like lock the currency? Sure. Like lock the exchange rate. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, should I do that now?

And I looked at it and I was like, no, it can only get better, surely. And the bank's like, you want to lock it in? Go right ahead, sweetheart. Yeah, if you want to. Anyway, and I'm looking at it and it says 100 US dollars and the description says OnlyFans. Tony. And I'm looking at it, and I obviously have made this, like,

weird-as-fuck face, and Torbz- Well, you had to, because Torbz is in the room. Well, because I- Oh, what could that be? Well, see, this is the thing, right? Yeah. So, I, like, made this face. I was like, oh.

And Torbz goes, oh, what's up? And I was like, oh, there's just a transaction here that that i don't recognize and he goes oh what is it and i was like it's for only fans and he goes what and this is like my card that i use to like pay bill it's not my card that i use to like buy stuff online with or anything it's like the the card that we use for like our food shopping and our bills like streaming services and our insurance and stuff comes out of this account it's not like our day-to-day card um and yeah so i'm like no one else has access to this or fucking so i thought um anyway and then so immediately i'm, what the fuck's going on? And then I was like, if it was you, it's fine. As in Torbs? No, yeah.

So, I said to Torbs, like, if it actually was you, like, people watch porn, like, it's fine. But was it you? Because, like, I'm. If not, we got to. Well, so, he goes, I don't even, like, have those card details. I'm like, yeah, the perfect crime. Yeah. Yeah.

And- What's Schmoley's fans? Never heard of it. I've never actually heard of that website before. I'm like, how'd you know it was a website? Like, you know, I'm like fucking detective. Anyway, and then, so I'm like, it's actually fine if it was you, but, like, I need to know.

And he goes, no, it wasn't me. And I was like, okay, that's fine. It also wasn't me. And he goes, that's fine. It wasn't me. I scroll through my bank statement and this 100 US dollars has been coming out every month for six months. What the fuck?

And I just, because it's not my day-to-day card. That's over a thousand bucks Australian. Yep. And because it's not my day-to-day card. That's over a thousand bucks Australian. Yep. And because I, it's not my day-to-day card. And there's like a, again, there's like a buffer in there. There's something you haven't thought of. What? You know how you've just bought the house?

Yeah. Yeah. That means all the mortgage brokers have gone through your account. I've seen that charge. You know, they check your accounts and stuff. Have you thought of that? No. It didn't even cross my mind.

So they're like, yeah, we just need to check your inflows and outflows just to make sure we can afford more. Didn't even cross my mind. Yeah, groceries, about 12% of income. Tick, yeah, rent. And they go, okay, we'll, that is a discretionary spending. Miscellaneous. Anyway.

I wonder if that was a hold up from the bank. Like, oh, we just need to double down on these charges. Yeah, we just need to double check here. So, it's been coming out for like six months. So, for six months, I've been helping someone else get off and like not in the way that I would like to. Yeah. And I've got no idea. And I click on the thing and you know how it says, like, something's not quite right.

And it goes, welcome back, Tony. Click in here. The ComBank app. Ah, sure. And I'm like, oh, I'll dispute the transaction. Sure. And it says, like, oh, you can't do that in the app if you're doing more than one.

Oh, so you've disputed six of them. Yeah, so I'm trying to dispute, like, all six because I, like, oh, you can't do that in the app if you're doing more than one. Oh, so you've disputed six of them. Yeah, so I'm trying to dispute, like, all six because I'm like, this isn't- You've got to call the Falcon, the fraud squad. And then, so they're like, you can't do it on the app. You've got to do it on the website. So I go to the website and the website says, no, go back to the fucking app. And then the app says, no, you've got to call us. And I can't find the number.

It's like a whole thing. And it's a Sunday morning. So, like, completely not stressful, you know. Anyway, very not chill. And I have to call the bank. And, you know, when you call them and you've got to put all your details in and it sends you, like, a notification in the app to be like, yes, it is me calling the bank.

So, it's like it's very safe, whatever. And then I call the bank and she's like, how i help you and i was like oh i've got a um there's a charge on my account that i don't realize and she and i that i don't recognize and she goes oh yep like what dates it from and i go oh from uh the beginning of september um but then it goes back all the way through and she goes goes, oh, okay, yep, there's five charges from that date, first day of the month. Of course, like all the bills come out the same day. And she goes, there's like six charges from that one.

What charge are you querying? And I was like, there's one from OnlyFans. And she goes, yeah. And I go, yeah, it's not mine. And she goes, okay. So, you know how when you call and it goes, to speak to the loans department, press one. Yeah. So, is there a thing that goes, if you're disputing OnlyFans Charge, if it's a dispute, wink, wink.

Yeah. Because you definitely didn't do it yourself, wink, wink. Press one and we'll just look into it. Yeah. So, that I can performatively in front of my book and go, and I don't know where it's – thank you for your help. Yeah, and the girl on the other line is playing the role of, this is an outrage. All good, I'll just let it go.

Oh, my God. Yeah, no. So I'm like, yeah, there's a charge there for OnlyFans. It's not mine. She's like, sure. And she's like, see you into foot stuff. And then she's like, does anybody else have access to the account? Like, she is like hard angling at it being like my partner or someone in my house.

She's like, do you have a teenage son? Yeah, all the classics. You know, like, and she's like, does anyone else have access to the card? And I was like, well, obviously, because someone's charging something to my car that I don't recognize. She's like, is there and i was like no i'm i'm being very serious with you mate sure but it was she's heard it all before it was so embarrassing you've automatically assumed it's a only fans watcher who scammed you so they can watch stuff on OnlyFans. My first thought, rightly or wrongly, is that it's OnlyFans' performer who's paying themselves that way.

Oh, right. I don't know why that's where my mind went. Honestly, I've got no idea. Because if I got someone's credit card details, I'd go and put myself in the thief mindset. Yep. I'd be like, how much money can I steal? What can I get?

My first thought wouldn't be like, oh, free porn. But, like, is that because you, like, have money? My card's been scanned before and it was thing, like, there was, like, eight charges in one day and I noticed straight away. That's what I mean. It was, like, $ charges in one day. And I noticed straight away because it was like $900 in one day. And it was like Domino's Brazil, shoesonline.com. Like it was really random like fake businesses and food.

I'm like, you're a kid. Yeah. Like it's a kid that's going to Domino's and Subway. Do you reckon the thief is playing the long game? Because they're like, if I just keep the transactions low enough, maybe, you know, if I spend $900. Someone's probably not going to notice. If I spend $1,000 in a day on shoes.com, they're going to notice.

But if I just sneak out $99, keep it below the threshold or whatever. Yeah, and because you, like, probably wouldn't need, like, a PIN number for that order. Anyway, so I've talked to the bank. I've had to cancel my cards and then so yes and because you don't have the new number until the card comes so i was like had to go through all my direct debits yesterday and try and like change them to the account it's so much admin but literally it's just like the judgment that

from everybody has been like was it you you know and, it's not like a shameful thing, but I'm like, no, but it is my money. Like, I'm paying for it, but I'm not even getting to enjoy it. Have you contacted OnlyFans? I'm watching porn for free on Pornhub like an arsehole, you know? Yeah, like a dickhead. Watching free porn like a loser. Yeah.

Have you contacted OnlyFans? No, I haven't. But I did. There's like a reference number in the thing. Yeah. Like, if I'm paying for it, I want to see what I'm paying for. Yeah, I want to get a load of this. Don't say load. Don't say load. But also, I'm like, what's this thief into? Yeah, what are you chasing? What's this? Yeah. So, there's like a reference number in the thing and the reference number is the same on all of them.

And I googled the reference number and it didn't come up with like a user or anything, but a lot of people had disputed and posted about similar, that they'd had like a hundred US dollars come out with the same number. So, it's obvious. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is like a creator who's like, yeah, OnlyFans, and you just like plug it away. Yeah. So I just didn't even click.

And, yeah, going through it, I was like, we really need to trim the fat here. And I was literally like, we're spending heaps of money. Where's it all going? Where's it all going? And I found it. It's going into someone's asshole. Literally. Good for them, though.

Good for them. But, yeah, she's so funny. Great for them. I was like, and then, yeah, the woman like, hmm, I bet, you know. She probably gets a lot of those. But even me to Torbs, I was like, yeah, and he goes, no. And I was like, hmm, I bet it was. You know, like I'm being a bitch as well.

Yeah, you were giving it to him and, yeah, how's that taste? Yeah. Hey, like them apples. I've got a You Love To See It, which could be accused of being a coincidence? Oh, coincidence. But I think it's like a good. Do you want to save it for coincidence chat? No, but it's like, oh, my God, what are the chances?

Oh, okay. In a good way, in a you love to see it way. I broke the sink in our bathroom. Did I ever tell you about this? No. Yeah, so I like moved a vase and just like, and just like hit the corner of the vanity and chipped it. Oh. And I was just such, like, moved a vase and just, like, and just, like, hit the corner of the, like, vanity and chipped it. Oh.

And I was just such a, like, oh. Because you have to replace the whole thing. The whole thing, yeah. Is it just the sink or the whole thing? Well, the whole, just the sink. Oh, is the whole thing the sink? Yeah. Oh, that's fancy.

And so. My sink's in, like, a laminate box. In our rental So it's chipped and I've had to find the place that makes the same sink And it's like, the fuck is a couple hundred bucks And it was my job to A, find the sink Which I did, because I broke it, fair enough And then it was my job yesterday morning to get the tradie into like- because you can't just like rip it out.

You got to get a plumber to like cook it all up and stuff. Yeah, and probably like turn the water off and everything. Yeah, a bunch of shit. And so, maybe I just like didn't quite get around to organising the plumber to come and install it in the morning yesterday. So, like my bad. Yesterday afternoon, Bridget's going out and she's, like, not using a hair... What's that thing that you guys have?

It's like a hair straightener or a curler or an all-in-one wandy... What's that thing you use on your hair? The Airwrap. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Bridget doesn't have an Airwrap because we're talking about her buying one right now. Oh, that's right.

Or maybe... She's got, like, a round brush. Sure. Yeah. She's got a thing in the... He doesn't even know air wrap Because we're talking about her buying one right now She's got like a round brush Sure He doesn't even know what she's got Do you love her? Because it's not sounding like it She drops it And it smashes the sink

And she goes Oh damn it We're getting it fixed this week anyway If I had of Got it fixed this week anyway. If I had of got it fixed on time. This is very good. I would have put the new one in and smashed the new one and then have to have bought a third sink. But because you smashed the old one, we're both like, ha,

what are the chances? How good is that? That is good. Don't you love to see that? I do like that. Yeah. So sometimes I say this to Tor that? I do like that Yeah Yeah, so you be Sometimes I say this at all I was like, oh, if I'd have fixed that

If I'd have done what I said I was going to do We'd be worse off This would be Yeah, we'd be in a worse position How good That is very good And because How do I say it?

There was some editorial around I bet there would have been a bit of a convo Around you not having organised it Yeah And I bet there would have been a bit of a convo around you not having organised it. Yeah. And I bet you would have been really nice about it after she smashed it as well. Yep. I bet you didn't even bring it up. Barely mentioned it.

You're such a great guy. Barely mentioned it. What time did I wake up this morning off air chat? Like two o'clock. Yeah. Because I woke up and went, I remember yesterday when the flag was singing. Then I couldn't get back to sleep. Because you were just so excited.

Yeah, and I'll probably really crash and have a mental breakdown this afternoon. But that's why I've been so up about today. That is ridiculous. But it did work out very well. And even better, because heaven forbid we try and come up with five You Love To See It's a week.

I went, that's my You Love To See It's a week. I went, oh, that's my You Love to See It tomorrow. Don't you just love that? Glad that you're working hard, mate. No, but, you know, a story just falls in your lap and you go, oh. All right, yeah. I'll put that in on Tuesday. You probably could have done that as a full story. You probably didn't need to, like, tuck it away as a You Love to See It.

No, we needed to leave space for your OnlyFans addictions. Yeah, I know, for my bloody scamming. What do you love to see, mate? Besides insides of people's arsehole on the line. Might you love to see it? We don't kink shame here. Whatever people want to look at is fine. I just don't want to pay for it for someone else. Pay for it for myself. Yeah, there's two OnlyFans

charges. Only one of them's mine. This does the rounds online every now and again. I think I might have actually shared it as a you love to see it before because it sends me absolutely every time and i i i really want to i really desperately want to believe it's real okay um someone holding on an airpods pods case and the caption is i thought the personalized message was for the delivery driver, not the AirPods. And the AirPods have a, you know how you can get AirPods engraved?

Like my luggage. Yeah, like your luggage. And engraved on the AirPods it says, leave in the back garden if I'm not there. So this person's ordered them and gone, oh, special note. Oh, yeah, like leave them by the back door because, you know. To be fair, special note could mean many things. That's exactly right.

Yep. And I desperately, desperately want this to be real. I don't know if it is, but it makes me laugh every single time you love to say it. Yeah, and you just think, imagine when they opened it and they went, oh, but I meant, what I meant. Yeah. You know, and you kind of got to admit defeat, I think,

because you go, well, fuck. And strangely, the delivery guy comes in and goes, Tony, I love you. Oh, yeah. Because I was supposed to be in charge of the airpods. Oh, don't smash my sink. All right. That's very good.

That's very, very funny. Tomorrow on the show, high school rumours. We've been wanting to talk about this for ages. I feel like every high school there was a rumour. And like, was it true? Was it an old wives tale? Was it an urban legend? Is it one that everyone's heard before?

Yep. However, usually it's about a friend of a friend who went to the school before you got there. But tomorrow on the show, a high school rumour about Tony Lodge. Yep. You're welcome. You heard it here first. Unless you listened to the old podcast that I used to do,

then you might have already heard it, but we're telling the story again. Yeah, heard it here second. Love you, bye.