Toni and Ryan - Towel update 💩

Episode Date: December 19, 2021

Ryan told a story of something so FOUL and so CRAZY last week - so I (Toni) read your feedback. Love ya! x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group!��Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Anamaja. Hi, is that Amira? Yes, hello? Hi, Amira, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Hi, I'm okay. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Oh, my God, okay, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't be sorry. We're excited too. Have we got your name right? Yes, Aymara, yes. Oh, nice. Now, a lot of people, when they sign up to approve, they say, oh, my God, this will change my life. This is so great.

You've left a message that says, I'll probably forget about this. Yes, yes, I'm very forgetful and I totally forgot. Well, we appreciate your honesty and at least you answered. Yeah, I'm actually in the premiere of Spider-Man movie. Oh my God. Running out of the movie theater.

Oh my God. Well, it's only just come out. So Amara, can we very quickly get your approval and we can get started? Yes, of course. I am so, oh my God. I love you guys. I love love the podcast if you didn't know

i'm from a very small island in the caribbean it's puerto rico so this is where uh the piña colada was created so you imagine my face when ryan said piña colada. Before I leave, I wanted to tell you, I was listening to a podcast where you said you needed a gift for Christmas. Oh, yeah. Yes. So here in Puerto Rico, we bring a drink called coquito. It's with alcohol and it's the perfect gift nobody asked for. So what to take when you're told not to bring anything.

Okay, what's in it? Yeah, so it's coconut rum with a lot of coconut milk, different coconut milk, evaporated milk. Anyway, I send you a recipe to your email if you want to do it. Oh, I'll have a look. Thank you so much. Yes, yes. Well, thank you guys. I love you so much. Yes, yes. Well, thank you, guys.

I love you so much. Keep up the podcast. We love you too. And as Tony always says to me, get back in there. Yes. Get back into that movie theatre. Go and have fun. And sorry for getting in the way of the Spider-Man premiere.

Oh, no, no, no. The movie is getting in the middle of my call with you guys. Hey, this is Aymara from Puerto Rico, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. And what is a very Christmassy week. I know, it's so exciting. It's Christmas next week. This week. This week.

This week, this Saturday. That's pretty cool. I said earlier. We should have put up a little Christmas tree or something. That would have been a great idea. Yeah, sorry. Should have brought that up literally any minute before now. I know what I'll do.

Wait till we hit record, then I'll come up with some ideas that we can't do. Oh, you've got a Christmas hat though. Yeah. That's a nice touch. I come up with ideas. Yeah, I know. Just before.

Before would be great. I don't know if I need to make a formal apology, but after our last episode on the Thursday about the barber and the town bathroom. No, we're going to get to that. Coming up, there's been a lot of feedback. Tony's taken the reins. I have.

She'll get to that shortly. I want you to think about now, though, what's your, when you think about Christmas Day, what is it that you think about? The food, I think it's got to be. And day drinking. Day drinking, yeah, 100%. And something that we've mentioned before that is local to those on our side of the world, swimming, going to the beach.

It's hot. It's hot as on Christmas Day. So give you some perspective. I know a lot of people in the US listening. Today is about 95 degrees Fahrenheit. Oh. Really hot in Australia. It is a really hot day today. And the concept of a white Christmas to us is just the strangest,

weirdest thing. I can't imagine it being like dreary outside. Yeah. So I asked people in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group about Christmas Day disasters. Oh. Because there's always a lot of build up and you're always a bit nervous. Have I got the food right?

Have I got the right presents? Are we going to make it on time? You know, there is a lot of build-up. And it's the extended family or family friends that you don't see a lot. I haven't seen you since last Christmas. I've got to make small talk. How have you been?

Great. It's the small talk but also the potential drama of like, oh, well, Aunty Christine said this to Aunty Jessica last year, so God, who knows if they're going to talk to each other. Put them at separate ends of the table this year. Yeah, oh, they got each other for Secret Santa, we'll have to change it. Like such a drama.

What a nightmare. Actually, let's call this Christmas Day Drama. Yeah, I love it. Okay, Alex Fiasco and well-named. I mean, you already know. So Alex Fiasco's brother. As if Fiasco is their last name. Is this real?

It's 100% real. It's not like my fake name would be Shmalik Shmiasko. No, it's real. His brother is a bit of a tantrum child, if I know the Fiascos. Okay. Oh, yeah. It's the brother. Yeah.

So apparently the brother didn't get the present that he thought he was going to get. Oh. And had a little bit of a tantrum. Oh. And that tantrum ended in him pooing under the Christmas tree. No, it did not. Alex Fiasco's brother had a merry shitmas under the tree and was like, you don't get a present? Well, I'll give you one of my own.

What a little. Brat. Brat is the perfect word. Yeah, I'm glad you didn't get a present? Well, I'll give you one of my own. What a little... Brat. Brat is the perfect word. Yeah, I'm glad you didn't say the word you were going to say. Yeah. You big C. Yeah. Mary Seamus.

Will... Will Barry. Don't know, will he? Me and... Will Barry what? Me and 17 members of my family. Too many. Too of my family. Too many.

Too big a family. There's your problem. Save it because we all crammed into an old elevator together in the apartment building. You're asking for trouble. And Will literally said, guys, there's too many people in the elevator, something could go wrong. Yep. Is it his fault for bringing it up?

Like, touch wood, did he jinx it? They got stuck in the elevator on Christmas Day for four hours. 17 of them. How do you do that? Imagine if you were in the lift for four hours because you need to pee constantly. But maybe was it the, did they have the bags that had the food in it? At least they could eat something.

No, because, I mean, that doesn't make it better because if we're eating and drinking then I just need to pee and poop more. Yeah, true, true, true, true. Oh, my God. So then Auntie Christine and Auntie Jenny, they're going at it in the elevator. A fiasco's brother's pooing in the corner. Oh, that would be, yeah, that is not, oh, 17 people. That's too many.

I don't think I could even be stuck in a lift with one person. Well, you and I caught the lift up to the studio today. We did. Was that too many? No, that was fine. Okay. Yeah. We're basically, leave us one.

Yeah. Smosh Smodges said. Oh, God. He needs to get a life. He's crying. Oh, no. Good on you. It's Christmas.

It's Christmas. Oh, no. Good on you. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Yep. Smosh Rogers' grandma decided that Christmas lunch at the table was the right time and the right place to have the birds and the bees talk with the grandchildren. So Smosh and his brother, they're like 14 and 12, and grandma's like, well, I think you boys are old enough. I've got to teach you a few things about the world. Oh, my God.

And they're like stuffing their mouth with turkey. And they're like, I'm trying to stuff this turkey. I don't want to hear about your stuff. And she picks up, like, the Iron Man and the Barbie that someone got for Christmas. And he's like, see, basically, this is what has to happen. Grandma, no! My sister came out on Christmas Day. Yeah.

That's really hectic. On Christmas day Were you like going around the table and it's like Oh tell us something you discovered this year And you're like well I discovered the course What are you grateful for? I discovered girls Yeah well my mum and my sister were like getting a cup of punch

Oh how lovely So lovely And they obviously had like a little chat in there And then walked out and my mum goes, everybody, Hayley bats for the other team. Like, mum, how embarrassing. But also you stole her story. Yeah, I know.

As if she didn't want to say something, yeah. Was it? So they're both holding these like comically small like glasses of punch and we're all just like, amazing, like so happy for you kind of thing. And she's just like, thanks, everyone. Mum's like, all right, now we've got to clean up from the Christmas. She's just like, I couldn't, like, great, so glad you're who you are,

but like we've got to get Christmas underway. Who's baking those potatoes? Yeah, like the meats in the rotisserie, like there's a lot going on. So surely from that it's like you want to like. Is there more questions kind of thing? Even that sounds a bit like you just want to like, how is it? You want to be there. Acknowledge the.

Acknowledge the word I'm looking for. Yeah. I want to acknowledge that, hey, that's cool. How are you feeling? Tell me a story. How has it been for you? Surely, you know. Well, I guess like Christmas kind of kept going and.

We just forgot about it or pretended it didn't happen? We forgot about it and definitely not pretend it didn't happen. Like we're all really happy, but I guess it was just like, oh, we're not really surprised by that. That's really exciting news. Was it one of those where it's like, well, I mean... Yeah, and like, yeah, it was just kind of great. So glad you're happy.

Like, do you love the bathers you got for Christmas? Can you write down on that piece of paper for next week? Yeah. Coming out stories gone wrong. Oh, all gone right. Can they go right? For the purpose of this? For the purpose of comedy, no.

Oh, I reckon people would have some corkers. Lara, and that's Car Crash Lara from Adelaide. Oh, Laura Bingle. Laura Bingle. Lara Bingle. One time at Christmas, my cousin bought a girl over for Christmas lunch and we were like, oh, hey, you bought a girl. Nice, nice.

You're obviously pretty serious if you bring Christmas. He then left in the afternoon and then brought a different girl back for dinner. No! What a stud. What an arsehole. But, yeah, like, he goes and drops the other one off at the curb and then comes. And by that time, Grandma's had a few wines.

So she goes, oh, Chelsea, that's a different dress than what you were wearing this morning. Did you have blonde hair earlier today, mate? And she goes, no, this is Stacey. This is a different girl. You know, Grandma's going to, like, throw you under the bus by accident, I reckon. Yeah, but he's setting them up.

Like, now I have to lie with you on Christmas? Yeah, on Christmas. Jesus' birthday. Show some respect. Oh, God. Caitlin, this is awful. And let this be a warning to people around the country. One year I made a spiced tea, like a communal, you know,

spiced tea for everyone. Sure. I used a sugar substitute called Zitinol. Sure. Zitinol. If you're on YouTube, I'll type it down there. If you listen to the podcast, just assume. Zingadong.

Zingadong. She put the zingadong in. She put the zingadong in. Yeah. Turns out if you have a lot of it, it causes diarrhea. Yes. And so on Christmas evening evening we literally spent it fighting over the toilet to the point where my auntie needed to make a roster

so we could all have a fair amount of time in the bathroom. It's like if you have too much gum, too much chewing gum makes you shit. Does it? Yes, because it's like sugar-free. Like they have the zing-dong. The zing-dong. Yeah, is that what we called it? Yeah, sure. The zinger-dong, whatever. It's have the zing-dong. The zing-dong. Yeah, is that what we called it? Yeah, sure.

The zinger-dong, whatever. It's got the zinger-dong in it. But poor, who drew the short straw? Poor auntie having to draw that up. But if everyone's fighting. She's like, okay, well, Bob hasn't had a shit yet. We'll put him at the front. He hasn't been in there for 18 minutes.

But I think they were literally fighting. Like, no, I need to go. No, I need to go. No, I'm still there. Surely at that point you're shitting outside. Grab a towel, guys. No. Grab a sink, hit the laundry.

Yeah, see, you're in bridesmaids' territory. Like, you're shitting in the sink, you're shitting in the street. And finally, and this is the story that made me want to do this whole segment. Okay. Maddie Cox. I was getting my phone fixed, so I used my mum's phone for a few days. And one night my boy – Must be nice.

My phone's getting fixed, nothing, no backup. Yeah. My mum went to get my phone fixed and it hasn't come back for 34 years. You didn't have a phone. You were just a little baby. What we're trying to say, Maddie, this must be nice. Yeah, Maddie. Getting my phone fixed.

Maddie, this is not a relatable story. Sorry, I don't understand. So this person that gave birth to you is, like, in your life? Yeah. Explain that to me. Don't understand. I was getting my phone fixed, so I used my mum's for a few days. I was sending some spicy photos back and forth with my boyfriend.

No, okay, nah. You're not doing that when you're borrowing someone else's phone. Maddie, I love you, but you're an idiot. You're asking, a beautiful idiot. A beautiful idiot. You're asking for trouble. No one knows how the cloud works. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

Well, you know who agrees with you? Maddie fucking Cox does. And probably her boyfriend whose dick everyone saw. I deleted all the photos or so I thought and a few weeks later it was Christmas. And mum has this thing and it's such a mum thing to do apparently, asterisk, is that she's got her like almost like a, what am I trying to say?

I don't know. I literally don't know. All you're doing is moving your hand around. On the screen, there's like family photos rotating through. Oh, like a slideshow. That's what I was going to say, a slideshow. And it's like in the background. So you know how you can turn your TV off?

Yes, I know what you're fucking talking about. Thank you. I'm glad it's taken me 48 years to explain what a fucking slideshow is. And so it's all family photos. It's because we don't understand, mate. We don't understand. Yeah. The mum thing has just rattled us.

Yeah, yeah. It's rattled me. So there's all these family photos that mums obviously put into a folder that's like, oh, family day. Yeah. So in the background at Christmas, how nice. Oh, that's the time we were all off at the lake together. Oh, that's the time of graduation.

But it's just all the photos from the iCloud. She goes, I don't know how the iCloud works. I don't know how I put them in a folder. I thought they were deleted. But as we were eating Christmas dinner, there were big pictures of Maddie Cox's boyfriend's cocks just coming up on the screen and her. And to use a quote from a few weeks ago,

all of her family have now seen all of her on Christmas Day at lunch. I'm just thinking about how fucking mortifying that would be. Imagine that. You're all, oh, stuffing a turkey. Oh, stuffing Maddie. She's on the telly. Like, I can't even deal with that. What is that life?

Please don't compare stuffing turkey to someone stuffing Maddie. I think that that is grounds for adopting yourself out. Ryan's got some tips. He can talk to someone for you. He knows a guy. Why don't you go and get my phone fixed again and this time don't come back for 35 years. Thank you.

Hey, this is Aymara from Puerto Rico and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the podcast, things you can say whilst putting up the Christmas tree. And also in the bedroom. And can I also add there will also be an audio queen tomorrow. They're my fave. They're my fave.

I was going to say there are a lot of people's faves. Oh, they're my fave. And they're also the thing that gets us into trouble because that's what a lot of strange noises come, people stand us by, hear things, people get in trouble. But, I mean, that's the fun of it, isn't it? Life's no fun unless you're living on the edge. I've always said life's no fun. I'm actually the opposite.

Like, I hate risks. Yeah, I know. You're very... I don't live on the edge. I live in the middle. Do you think... I don't know if this is a really dark thing to say. Yeah.

One thing you might, one day you might be like really old, 100 years old, your final days, and just be like, oh, well, thank God I didn't stuff that up. You spend 100 years avoiding the edge, playing it safe. I saw this thing once that was really sad and it was like, we live our lives carefully to get to death safely. I think that saying in six words is what I took five minutes to try and say. Yeah, but it's the same thing. But, yeah, and I don't want to do that.

I don't want to get safely to death. I want to be like, fuck yeah, I had a great time. You want to go skydiving tomorrow? I actually can't tomorrow because I'm getting my hair done. Neither I'm very busy, yeah. I know you're actually getting your hair done. I actually also think that there's probably a weight limit that I maybe wouldn't meet right now.

I got sent. What? I won't mention the brand on the podcast. You can figure it out on my Instagram. Okay. Oh, yeah. I was told that I couldn't be photographed in their brand without a shirt on.

And I thought, fuck you. Yeah. Yep. Um, excuse me? Yeah. Fuck those guys. I'm taking their money. Take their money.

I'm never going to work with them again. Yeah, say no next time. Yeah. Can you send me the leftover product that you've got, though? Because I really like that product. Yeah. Yeah. Did you bring it the leftover product that you've got, though? Because I really like that product. Yeah. Yeah, did you bring it today? No, but I should have because I know that you like it.

I'll bring some around. They drop tapes off. Yeah. Really nice guys. Yeah. Obviously, I'm joking. They're assholes. Not anymore.

Yeah. That's actually fucking disgusting. Yeah. Did they actually say that? Yeah, I've got the screenshot of that. Can you please tell him? Send that to the fucking daily mail. I'll wait till the checklist.

Oh, yeah. Get the money first. And then because I've stood up for you, you can send me some of the money as well. I'll wait till the check clears. Get the money first. And then because I've stood up for you, you can send me some of the money as well. Great. But the other people that are sending us money at the moment are our brand-new champion diapers. Grim Reaper.

Am I not good enough looking for them? Oh. Is there something wrong with my body? I don't personally think so, but I don't work for those arseholes. I know you don't because I can't keep you away from me. Yeah, exactly. You've got to hold a stick out. I mean, the rest of society.

Yeah, spray me with cold water. Oh, this body's not for us. We're obviously not Tony Lodge because I have to get a little squatter away. Yeah, exactly. But also, the product leads to that anyway. Well, I think that was their point. Oh, so it's like we don't want people to think that, like, fat people. Can't eat this.

No. Oh, because it could be a food, fat people... Can't eat this. No. Oh, because it could be a food, whatever it is. Consume this product in whichever way that they might consume it. Well, it's a bit like, hey, you know who you hired, you know what kind of body I have, and if you're not happy with that, then go fuck yourself. But also you've worked with them before. I have.

And great results for them. Yeah, they've made a lot of sales out of what I've done for them. That's actually fucking disgusting. I'm not here for that. No. And luckily Grim Reaper is a champion type of, so we could get them taken care of probably. For sure.

Righto. Luckily we didn't say the brand. Matt Bannon, Hayley Arsay, Joshua Budden, Georgia Presnell and Stephanie. Thank you so, so much. Thank you, Legends. Now, quick question. Uh-huh.

Hang on. No, the questions are from me because I'm leading this horse. Can I just get people up to speed? Well, actually, if you had have let me speak. A woman is speaking. A woman is talking. Samantha Baker Penny has said, and this is our feedback for the week. Oh, God, just seeing the episode title, what the hell did you do, Ryan?

So I would like for you to share with everybody. See, you thought that I wasn't going to set this up. You've set this up. But I did, and you didn't trust me. Maybe I don't want to be on here if you don't have a shirt on as well. I was just trying to help. Well, same. I spent all this time organising this, and I thought Ryan's going to be so impressed that I've done all this work. I was just trying to help. Well, same. I spent all this time organising this and I thought

Ryan's going to be so impressed that I've done all this work. I am impressed. And you didn't even give me a minute to like show it off. Okay. I've been fat shamed by a big corporation. Yeah. I'm actually upset about that. The story we're about to talk about, I'm not proud of. No. So just give me a moment, would you? Yeah. Okay. Just give me a break. Actually, you can't turn this around on me. I did all the work. That's what I'm saying, but just. Okay. All right. So Samantha Baker-Penny would like to know what have you done? Please share. Update the class very quickly.

Ten-second version of what you did. It's horrific. I went to get my hair cut at the barber's house. Yes. She let me come into the house. Thank you very much. I asked if I could use the bathroom before we got started. It was a small one-bedroom apartment, so the bathroom was like an en suite.

So I had to walk through her bedroom. Yeah, awkward. Awkward already. Already. I'd never met her before. I get in there and her Scandinavian cute little voice goes, yeah, I just threw them. Nice.

Then there's no toilet paper. Oh. I really needed to go number two. Yep. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. And what did you do? After deliberation, I used her towel.

What towel? Hand towel? Well, there was only one towel. It was just one big towel. Bath towel. So the towel that she would use when she gets out of the shower. It was like a light kind of a yellow, like a duck, like a nice little duck, fluffy little duck.

Fluffy. Fluffy little duck. I wasn't proud of it, but I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was about to get my hair cut. I didn't want to sit in my own filth. Lots of people on the internet have screamed abuse. They said they couldn't sleep.

They gasped audibly. Yeah. And I'm not proud of it and I regret it and I'm not happy, but that doesn't mean that everyone still didn't want to give me their two cents worth. Yeah, so I will say that the feedback has been overwhelmingly negative this week. If I were to think aside, I would say slightly skewed negative. So every single episode gets its own dedicated thread

inside the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group, which you can join. 15,000 people this week, by the way. Whoa. Crazy. This is ridiculous. Yeah. So 15,000 people have said that they don't like that you shat on this woman's towel. Yeah.

Crystal Bowdash, she said, my fiance and I are listening. He said, I would have sacrificed my underwear and then gotten a bag or something. I told him I dated a guy who never had toilet paper. He used his hand and towels. I didn't find out until I used his bathroom when I stayed at his house. He usually stayed at mine. I found the poop on the towel and it ended pretty quickly. So what if this hairdresser's boyfriend comes over,

sees the shit on the towel and goes, well, I'm going to break up with Ika because the difference between Crystal Bowder's boyfriend and me is that. You're not doing this all the time. And I'm not saying I've got all the options in the world and this is what I choose. What you chose, yeah. This is not my preference. No.

This was a panic. Pooference, actually. It wasn't. This is not my pooference. If I had all the pooferences in the world, I would prefer nothing else. But this person has made a conscious decision going, oh, no. Oh, I love shit on my towel.

I go to the supermarket. I see the toilet paper aisle. It's not for me. I go, I don't want to waste my money on that garbage. No, yeah, that's different. But, you know, okay, break up, rule of fence, cool. Yeah. Sally K said, the towel is not an option.

What is wrong with you? Hand, underwear, yell out or nothing depending on the cleanliness of departure, never the towel. First of all, don't question the cleanliness of departure. Nothing was not an option. Second of all, lots of people mentioned the underwear. Yes. I said that in the episode as well.

You said there wasn't a bin. Well, I was going to say my whole point is like I get the underwear, but then what? Yeah. Then you just like. But I guess do you wrap that then in. In what? In the tail?

You may as well just skip the middle man and get straight to the tail. Yeah, true. I just want to put it out there. I kind of get that that may be a good vessel for it, but then what? There was nowhere for it to go. Yeah, okay. You'll be glad to know, though, that someone was on your side. Thank you.

Vanessa Heather said, I'm with Ryan here. I would have used the towel. I dry reach the moment I get poo on me, so there's no way that she could have done what I suggested, which was the cupping method. I mean, we eat with our hands. Like us humans. Yes.

Like you can't, no. Once I've seen my hands look like that, I can never eat again. Okay. And she reckons also using a towel is way more hygien Yes. Like you can't, no. Once I've seen my hands look like that, I can never eat again. Okay. And she reckons also using a towel is way more hygienic. Thank you. To which Chloe replied, more hygienic for who? Not the woman who owns the towel. Well, she's not wrong, Chloe.

Exactly. But I'm glad that Chloe brought Vanessa back down to earth. Are you saying that people agree with me couldn't possibly live on this planet? No, when she said that it's more hygienic to use a towel, that's... Anyway, Alex... Who's to say what was already on the towel and being put in there, let alone... Oh, mate, you're reaching there for sure. There's...

No. I'm the victim here. Alexandra said, call me old-fashioned, but I would have asked her for some toilet paper. Everybody poops. I mean, it's true, but I just have asked her for some toilet paper. Everybody poops. I mean, it's true, but I just met her. I'm in her house. I didn't want to make it obvious.

I mean, in hindsight, probably, yeah. I wouldn't be cringing three months later at the time I asked for toilet paper, but I certainly am cringing three months later knowing. And you'll be pleased to know, actually, as a side note that we got our first one-star review this week. What? Yep. Immature hot humour.

Toilet joke humour, it says. And I'm going to unplug my laptop and show you the screenshot. Someone left a one-star review. Because of you shitting on a towel. All right. Was that our first one-star review? Yep. Hey, Tony.

Yeah, you owe me an apology. On behalf of... The town. On behalf of the town. Yep. On behalf of me, the vice captain of this ship, the butter to your bread. Yes.

I'm sorry that I dragged us down to the low, low level of what I did and of the one-star review. Bad reviews are bad for business. I've got a way you can repay me and everybody. I'm married. Emma Aldess wrote, please, please ring her. I need to know what she did when I found the towel. I've come up with maybe a bit of a bargaining chip here.

I've come up with maybe a bit of a bargaining chip here. We have promised all of our listeners, all of our friends, that however many tarpers are part of our Patreon by midnight on the 31st of December, so by the end of the year, we will run two metres for all of them. So if there's 1,000 Patreons? Two kilometres. How are your running going, by the way two metres for all of them. So if there's 1,000 Patreons? Two kilometres. How are your running going, by the way? Yeah, it's good.

Maybe we'll talk about it another day. Oh, that well. Yeah. I've just ordered Uber Eats. It's not great. What if in addition to the running, if we get 1,000 people in our Patreon by the end of the year? It's currently, what, 950, something like that?

Yep, something like that. Yep. If we get a thousand people in our Patreon, can we ring her? Because I think that if the whole community gets together and we all join together and you owe us this after bringing us down with this one-star review, that we can ring the hairdresser and that you can apologise and we can ask what she did. We can track down our phone number, hopefully.

As someone who wants to do the right thing and apologise and admit when they're wrong. Doesn't feel like it. All jokes aside, I'm obviously, obviously not the perfect human. But would you say, oh, I said obviously, I couldn't have said obviously more sternly. Am I someone that when they're wrong will kind of go, I stuffed up there or no? The look on your face says no, I'm stubborn till the end.

Well, you are stubborn, but I think that you're also, you're like, okay, I know when, you know, I know when enough's enough or whatever. So I feel like I want to apologise. But you're also, you're like, okay, I know when, you know, I know when enough's enough or whatever. So I feel like I want to apologise. But you're really embarrassed. I'm really embarrassed. The thought of calling her makes me sick. Well, you fucking put your towels away.

All right, so if we get to 1,000 Patreons. Yes. We're about, like I said, 950 something. Yeah. What's the lowest someone can pay to be a Patreon? $4. Fuck, that Patreons. Yes. We're about, like I said, 950-something. Yeah. What's the lowest someone can pay to be a Patreon? $4. Fuck, that's not enough. That's too easy to get to.

Okay, here's the deal. Yeah. If we get to 1,000, we'll call her. We will call her. Yes. And I'll use some of the money to buy her some new towels. Yes, that's fair. That's fair.

Yeah. If we don't get to 1,000, then it's struck in from the record. Oh, it's like statute of limitations, it's over. It's over. It stays in 2021 where it belongs. We write it off as a COVID mishap. Yeah. And we move on into a new post-pandemic world.

Deal. Really? Yep. Oh, Tony's put her hand out to shake it, but I know what you're willing to do with that hand. Yeah, it means nothing. Give it here, give it here. So 1,000 Patreons.

We call her. So I, okay, this is not me talking around. This is me talking to all of my friends. I need your fucking help. I need your fucking help. We have to call this woman. We have to shake on it. So we will run however

many Patreons we get, two metres each. And it will be and we will ring your hairdresser. You ready for your love to see it? I love to see that.

We'll promise to do everything in our power to get a hold of her if we get to 1,000. We'll do whatever we can. Great. And the house is just down the road from where we are right now. Great. So maybe if we can't get her on the phone, we could go down there. I hope she's been deported and has a new number.

How dare you say that? You don't mean that. That's a mean thing to say. You don't mean that. I'll cut that out for your safety. But she was on edge of being deported. No, she was not. Well, she was after I reported it.

So everybody get amongst it. We'll try and call this girl. I'm not looking forward to seeing this. Oh, I love to see this. You know what I love to see? Nothing can get me out of how awful I feel right now. Yeah, I know. You know what I love to see nothing can get me out of how awful i feel right now yeah i know you know what i love to see self-awareness apparently not i saw this meme the other day yeah it goes me in a meeting oh this could have been an email me sending an email this took all

day you know when you're like on the to-do list i've got to email that person and it can take weeks yeah because you know that it only takes like it's a 10 second job but you just put it You know when you're like on the to-do list, I've got to email that person and it can take weeks. Yeah, because you know that it only takes like, it's a 10-second job. You just put it off, it's so annoying, I don't want to think about it, blah, blah, blah, I'm just going to put off this email. And then we spend all our time whinging that, oh, if it were just an email, it would have been so fast. Well, maybe fucking not.

My You Love To See It is a post that I saw in a group called Mums Who Clean. Oh, I love this. Yeah, I love this group. And it's someone explaining how their Roomba, you know those robot vacuums, always get stuck under the couch. And they say Mr Three, so three years old, just solved the robot getting stuck under the bed again. And what they've done is, you know those little toys that have,

they're called stickies, and they've got the little suction caps on the bottom? They've stuck their stickies on the top of the Roomba so it can't go all the way under the couch and get stuck. And it's a three-year-old that stuck them on there and fixed it. Well, that three-year-old is going to be a millionaire. Yep, 100%. Obviously because his parents are rich and can afford a Roomba. That's the main reason I would have thought.

But the poster said, hoping to retire on his earnings once he's made his entrepreneurial millions. His what millions? Entrepreneurial. Tony Lodge. Entrepreneurial. Entrepreneurial. Neurial.

Neurial. Neurial. Ooh. entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial. Entrepreneurial. All right. Tony and Ryan is what you need to search for on Facebook. Yes. If you want to join the Facebook group. That's where we get a lot of the feedback from. Yes, it is. People like to comment on the episodes and it's actually a lot of fun

reading through the people there. And thank you for everyone get a lot of the feedback from. Yes, it is. People like to comment on the episodes and it's actually a lot of fun reading through the people there. And thank you for everyone who's being a part of it. I mean, I know we say that, but we actually really love seeing people getting involved and giving their thoughts and comments. It's great. And like, I honestly emails, messages, like Facebook comments. It's so great. And you actually love to see it. You love to see it.

Hey, tomorrow on the show. What you can say when putting up the Christmas tree and also in the bedroom. I'm going to put it out there. Yeah. Out of all the in the bedroom ones, I'm feeling good about this. This one's a bit naughty. Yeah, it's real naughty.

It's real naughty. That's tomorrow on the show. Thanks for listening. Love you. And you. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.