Toni and Ryan - Trapped in a Cave

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Another TERRIBLE first date story to share, plus I need to know what you would grab if your house was on fire because Taubs has done an awful job at our place. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Sarah? It is. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan calling from Melbourne, Australia. Hi, guys. How are you? Hi, Sarah. We're well, thank you.

How are you? I'm doing well, thank you. So I've asked this a few times of a few people, but are you surprised that we're calling because you seemed a bit shocked? And I just wanted to remind you that you booked this in. Have you forgotten about that? I know, yes. Well, I mean, I was a little bit nervous,

so I'm just, you know, trying to play up the excitement a little bit. Oh, well, thank you for that. Yeah, it's a great ego boost for us as well when you sound excited. So, Sarah, can you tell us, so you're just outside of Boston, is that right? Yes, I'm just south of Boston. Boston. No.

Don't, please don't. No, I can't do that. Don't do that. Boston. The cream pie, Boston cream pie, delicious. Boston. What are you talking about? The dessert, not a porn.

Yeah. What's the food Tony's trying to talk about? Do you even know what she's talking about? Isn't a Boston cream pie a thing? Let me Google it. Don't Google it on a work computer, please. Oh, good point, actually. Yeah, it's Boston cream pie.

We got Boston cream donuts. Yeah, we got all that. Okay, great. That sounds delicious. It does. Ryan, can we go to Boston and have a cream pie with our mate Sarah? We can. Obviously, we're not allowed to go five kilometres from our house

at the moment because of lockdown. Oh, yeah. And I'm pretty sure Boston is just on the other side. Yeah, just outside the ring, the radius. But next year on the world tour, I'm sure we'll get there. World tour? Oh, my God, you heard it here first. Oh, my gosh. Yes.

And, Sarah, we also wanted to say thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. We were very nervous that no one was going to do it, and we're, like, super shocked and stoked that people are supporting us. So thank you so much for that as well. Oh, no, thank you for setting that up. I've never been a Patreon supporter before, but I'm happy to do it. Oh, that's so kind of you. Well, I mean, we want to give you as much power as possible and say that we're about

to start recording our pod for the day. I wanted to get your approval if that's all right. Oh my gosh, absolutely. Yay. Thank you so much, Sarah. We appreciate it so much. This is so cool. Thank you so much, Sarah. We appreciate it so much. This is so cool. Thank you so much. I just love you guys so much. And when I was telling my sister about this, she's like, well, tell them I say hi. Oh, what's your sister's name?

Jackie. Oh, well, send Jackie our love. Absolutely. Oh, thank you so much, Sarah. You're such a legend. And honestly, have a great night, all right? Thank you. Have you so much, Sarah. You're such a legend and honestly, have a great night, alright? Thank you. Have a fantastic day, guys. Will do. Thanks, Sarah. Bye. Thanks, Sarah. Bye.

Bye. Hey, this is Sarah from Boston and I approve this podcast. Coming up soon, we've had a lot of horror first date stories on this podcast. Yeah. And this one is not gross, it is not cringe, but it is terrifying. And I haven't heard the story. I don't know it yet. So.

It could be, and I know I've used this sound every day this week, it could be Squid Game-esque. Squiddy. Squiddy. What have you got coming up? Oh, sorry. I just burped. By the Wednesday episode, you're...

Something happens. I switch off. You've given up. I would like to know, if your building was on fire, your house was on fire, what would you get? Don't tell me now. Tell me later. Okay.

Do you reckon it says a lot about a person, about what they choose? I think so. I think so. It seemed like you got something to say. I do. After your building was evacuated last week, I feel like we're about to learn a lot about Tony and the people she spends her time with.

It's exactly right. First up, though, Tony versus the world. Like I need another enemy. Who's your enemy this week? The world. Oh, just the world. It makes me sound like a superhero or something. Tony versus the world.

Aha. Take a listen, Sue. So last week, Tony, you translated some Australian sayings so people from around the world can understand. Yes. This week, people from around the world have sent in their local sayings and you are going to explain what they mean. Now, I said I don't reckon you'll get more than two out of ten.

Okay. You reckon you can get three? I reckon I can get ten. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, I've got ten. I've got ten.

And thank you to everyone who sent through their suggestions. I think we'll do this regularly. So if I don't get to yours, we will. But let's start at the top, shall we? And if you have one, you can submit it at the Tony and Ryan podcast group on Facebook. Well, that's where these are from. And Jennifer is first. She's from Kilbuck in Ohio.

Ohio. She said a local saying there is knee high in in July, which of course, Tony, means? Heaps. Like when you say like, oh, the grass is knee-high in July. So it's like there's massive, there's masses, there's heaps. Like, oh, is there going to be beer at the pub? Oh, we'll be knee-high in July. That's actually pretty close.

Is it? Well, let's decide together if you've got it. So Jennifer lives in, like, corn crop country, and if it's a good crop, it'll be knee-high in July. Oh, so, like, it's looking good. Yeah. So, like, oh, do you reckon you and I could go on a date? Oh, it's going to be knee-high in July.

Yeah, I'll give you that. Yes. And, I mean, I'm saying yes or no. I assume that's correct. Yeah. Jennifer, if you've got any problems, you can't say anything because you're not on the phone. Do you feel like you need a little sound effect?

I could just keep saying ding. Ooh. Okay. Thanks, everyone. Don't hate that. Do you reckon the computer has it incorrect? Great. Hope Lowry is from Missouri.

Hi, Hope. And I actually used to live in Missouri when I was playing college volleyball. We get it. You've been all over the world. You've just been telling me about going to music festivals in Europe and stuff. I've just been in little old Aussie by myself. I just had a job that wasn't overly popular in Australia, so I had to go overseas to gain

employment. Yeah, it sounds like it must have been tough. It was real tough. Hope Lowry in Missouri. here's the saying, you look road hard and pulled up wet. Shocking. You look bad. Like you've been road hard and you've, like, yeah, nah. Use it in a sentence for me.

Oh, do I look okay? Oh, you look road hard and pulled up wet. You've had a hard day. It is used when horses aren't dried off after they work up a sweat and they look sick and they look like they've had a day from hell, which I reckon is pretty close to what you were saying there. Oh, my God. Two from two.

Tony versus the world. Tony is winning. Thank you, world. Now, from Ohio to Missouri to Katerina, who is from Diamond Creek, which is in the outer suburbs of Melbourne, but she went to Altham College. Oh, okay. And I'm glad she said that.

Oh, I bet you she had that bloody country road bag. No, that's CLC. Fuck. Okay, yep. But she was lucky she didn't go to Diamond Valley College because that's where all the rat bags went. The rat bags. Yeah, or scumbags, if you will.

Especially Diamond Creek doesn't have a good name. Oh, okay. But Altham. She went to Altham College, though. So this is scumbags, if you will. Especially Diamond Creek doesn't have a good name. Oh, okay. But Altham. She went to Altham College, though. So this is Katerina. Katerina. She said, well, here's two. She's on the razz or he's razzing.

Like there's two different ways to say it, but it was like razz was the word. What do you think that means? Well, when you said she's on the razz, I was like, is that a gross way to say that someone's on their period? That's what I thought, but that's not the case now that I've seen it. Like she's on the razz, he's on the razz, I was like, is that a gross way to say that someone's on their period? That's what I thought, but that's not the case now that I've seen it. Like, she's on the razz, he's on the razz, he's razzing, she's razzing. Is it a bit like she's on the prowl?

Like, she's trying to pick up, she's trying to tune? Tony Lodge! Oh, my God, it's a rave! Yeah, if he's razzing around, he's, like, chasing the girls, she's razzing, she's trying to pick up. And if someone had spent all night trying it on and not getting anywhere, it became like a put-down, like, oh, look out,

here's the Razmaster 3000 in the house coming around me. Oh, nice. Three from three. You've already won this game. You don't even bother continuing. We can. Let's go to Kansas where Callie, she lives in a small town there, Red in the morning, sailors take warning.

Red at night, sailors delight. I mean, I know the song. Sky rockets in flight. Boo! Afternoon delight. Ooh! Afternoon delight. Has that got anything to do with the song?

But I actually don't know what the saying means. Red in the morning, sailors take warning. Red at night, sailors delight. I don't know what it means. I know the saying, but it means it looks good, right? Not quite. So on the right track, what looks good? What are we talking about?

Like the sun? Keep going. The sunrise. I don't know. I'd actually, but that's a hard one because I know the saying, but I don't know what it's actually for. It determines how windy it is. Oh.

Yeah, so if it's red at night, that means it's good because the winds are going to calm down. Like what's red? Like the sky. Oh. But it's about the wind. Hence, you know, the sailors would be all about the wind and stuff like that.

Oh, okay. Which is interesting because I'm pretty sure there's no ocean very close to Kansas. Just going to put that out there. Oh, is it? Landlocked. All right. We head over to Sweden where Judith,

would you like the Swedish saying or the English translation? Give me the Swedish one first. Judith from Sweden says... Because I want you to read it out. Nuhadu sat din sister patatas. I don't know what accent you were doing. You kind of went sister patatas at the end. I was just giving it some energy.

That wasn't an accent. That was just a vibe. Oh, okay. Sorry. My mistake. Nuhadu sat in sister patatas. Pass me the meatballs, please. It says you've planted your, it means you've planted your last potato.

But again, that's a saying that means something. Oh, okay. Like, you've mucked up for the last time. Like, this is the, like, you've sown your last potato. This is the last time. Like, this is it, like, you've sown your last potato. This is the last time. Like this is it. Tony Lodge. It means like, yeah, this is your last chance.

I've almost had it with you. Yeah, you've sown your last potato. You're not getting another chance. You've planted your last potato, mate. Four from five. Fuck me up. Now let's go to also what does that mean in Australia? When you say fuck me up, what does that mean?

Like holy moly. Gee whiz. Gee whiz. Gasp. Bit liberal with the sound effects, mate. Oh, sorry. Is this an air check? Am I getting reviewed?

Just letting you know. I'll just put that in the Apple reviews actually. Yeah, okay. People are just nasty. Yeah. Let's go to Linea from Findland. Findland? Finland.

Finland. I've written Finland, like Findland. What the fuck? I've put a D where it shouldn't belong. Where am I, at Tony's house? Tell me about it. You have given up. It's Wednesday.

John Presissian Amaruti Camus. So I'm not laughing at the language. I'm laughing at you going Camus. Yeah. Like a bear shot in the ass. Oh, you've hit the deck. Like you're tired, you're worn down, you're done. Like a bear shot in the arse, like put her down.

To be angry or in a bad mood. So in Finland, if someone's really angry and you go, oh, what's she like today? Oh, keep away from her. Yeah, put her down. Yeah, fucking. It's like a bear shot in the arse. Yeah.

Which in Finland is pronounced. Emma's from the Netherlands. Yeah, fucking. It's like a bear shot in the ass. Yeah. Which in Finland is pronounced. Duon pipi sin amurutu kamu. Kamu. Emma's from the Netherlands. Hi, Emma. You cunt de app de meo. You compt de map de beyond. How would you pronounce K-O-M-T?

K-O, compt. What did I say? Oh, slight change, big impact. Yeah. It translates to now comes the monkey out of the sleeve. Oh, like the cat's out of the bag. That's the truth. The truth has finally been revealed.

The monkey's out of the sleeve. I love that. Eden Garcia is from Puerto Rico. Eden. Oh, this is the second time we've heard from Eden this week. Yeah, we've heard from Eden this week. In Puerto Rican, means a gifted horse, don't look at the tooth. How would you use that in a saying?

Is that as in, like, doesn't look at the tooth or don't, like, do not? A gifted horse, don't look at the tooth or don't, like do not? A gifted horse, don't look at the tooth. Like do not look at the tooth or it doesn't look at the tooth? No, no. A gifted horse, full stop, don't look at the tooth. But is it don't, like do not or does? Don't, do not. D-O-N, little squiggly line, T.

Apostrophe. Call it what you want, mate. Yeah. They're good at what they're doing. Don't look at the details. Like, let the little things go because it's going all right. Close. Actually, you decide if you'll pay this.

Okay. The meaning is if someone gives you something like a gift, don't complain or criticise it or pick holes in it. Just accept the gift. Oh, I won't give myself that actually. I think I was a bit off the mark. A gifted horse? Don't look at the tooth.

Just take the horse. Yeah. So if I came in here, not that you were complaining about the scones. No. But if I came in here with the scones, you wouldn't be like, oh, you got the wrong sort. Yeah, sorry. Hey, thanks, mate.

Thanks for the scones. Yeah, I actually like that. I'm going to start saying that more. Yeah, you're going to keep saying Acapella, Riddello, Noci and Maria Diente. Yeah, I am. Gifts and all. Rolls off the tongue for an English speaker.

Ryan's from South Carolina. Second last one here. Okay. That's all cattywampus. When someone in North Carolina says that's all cattywampus, what do they mean? That's all cattywampus. When someone in North Carolina says that's all cattywampus, what do they mean? That's all garbage. Pish posh.

Like that's all shit. Like, oh, did you hear what Ryan was saying the other day? Oh, that's all pattywampus. The translation, and even though we both speak English, is that doesn't look right, which I think is correct. You've got that. So what am I at now? You've got, we're up to the tenth one, so out of nine, you've got seven.

Seven out of nine. That's pretty good. All right, lucky last. So this is for eight out of ten. All right, here we go. For a high distinction at the University of Melbourne Business School, if you get eight out of ten. Thank you very much.

Sounds like you know. I do because I landed there last week. You love to see it. I do love to see it. Thank you for everyone congratulating me on my university results. And by everyone, I mean not a single person besides Tony, my mum or my wife. I mean, they're probably all the same person. I was about to say three separate people.

Andrew is from Glasgow. Oh, we score. Would you introduce the podcast for us in Glasgow-egion? Glaswegian is actually not Glasgow-wegian, Glaswegian. You know what I do know how to say in that Scottish language? Don't say something about potatoes. No, I can't get out, which is like I can't get out, which is like a Scotty.

I can't get out. It sounds like you're saying the C word. No, I can't get out, which is like I can't get out, which is like a Scotty. I can't get out. It sounds like you're saying the C word. No, I can't. Sorry. Anyway, I don't know if that's actually Glaswegian. That might just be, I don't know. What is a dobler? And can you please use it in a sentence?

Dobler. Is there an example of it in a sentence? No, because that would explain what it is. Okay, dobler. Like a fuckwit. No. Can I have another chance? Yeah.

Dobler. Someone like a teacher's pet. Okay, what is it? Maybe I should use it in a sentence. Oh, yeah, if you use it in a sentence, see if I can guess. Wish I could get that cobbler's dobler in my mouth. It's a dick. Check out the dobler on him.

Oh, me dobler. Oh. I can't get out me dobla. Oh, that was Irish. But also, I'm pretty sure an old grandmother who you were just voicing can't get out a dobla. Yeah, probably not. She ain't got one.

I would like praise because you thought I was going to get two right. You know what? You will get more than that. You will get a kiss 101 sound effect of her being a winner. Look at her go. Seven out of ten. Seven out of ten. That's really good.

That's pretty good. I honestly thought this would be a train wreck. I mean, you've given plenty of examples of why I might believe it. But this week, I didn't think you'd get three out of ten. You got seven out of ten. Tony Lodge, get around it. Thank you. I think I did quite a good job.

I like this game. It can stay. It can stay. Okay, Tony's given her approval. And that's all that matters. Yeah, that's all that matters. Let's try it next week because there are many sayings from many countries. It's actually also quite nice to hear those little weird slang things that people have.

I'm going to try and use dobler in everyday speak sometime in the next week. Oh, my God. Okay, challenge. You've got to say dobler. You have to say cattywampus. In your house without Bridget like. Flinching. Yep.

She'll flinch when she sees your dobler. I don't know if flinch is the right word. It'll be more of a. The dobler's out again. Put your dobler away. Open your mouth and say, oh, my dobler. It's Wednesday. The dobblers out again. Put your dobblers away. Open your mouth and say, oh, my dobblers. It's Wednesday.

It's my kooky day. I'm sorry. Hey, a few weeks ago, I want you to describe this in one word. We heard about a lady who went on a date with a guy who worked at a funeral home. He rocked up to pick her up for the date and he came in the hearse car and there was a body in a coffin in the back. Auntie Norma was in the back, yep. How would you describe that? Horrifying.

And we also heard a story from Texas where the guy, the date, pooped himself in the passenger seat of the car. But said he hadn't. Said he hadn't, lied about it. Binded on the dog. And did a runner. Yep. What word would you use to describe that?

Disgusting. Correct. So my good friend Georgia Young, who actually made my wife's wedding dress. Are we allowed to name and shame on this podcast? It wasn't her, but she reminded me of a mutual friend. Oh, okay. I love Georgia's gowns. They are gorgeous.

They are gorgeous. Not sponsored, by the way. Just she's a good friend of Ryan's. Yep. Of Ryan's. Backed it in twice. Not going well. Okay.

Loving the podcast, says Georgia. I have to share this about a mutual friend. I'll leave the mutual friend's name out there. Please, yeah, don't say. They were really into the outdoors. They met this person online and they were both, which similar to. Pretty fit or whatever. Yeah, or just wanted to go hiking or whatever.

So the date says. That sounds awful. I'm going to take you caving for a first date, which means exploring caves, walking into caves, getting a vibe, hiking, being outdoors. God, I wouldn't let someone explore my cave on the first date. That's a very un-Tony thing to say. So they're in this underground cave.

That is terrifying. Imagine if you're, you know, really afraid of the dark or what's that thing called? Claustrophobic. I'm a bit claustrophobic. That would do me in. It would freak me out. I would panic. Especially for a first date. This person might kill you. Yeah. I'd consider it with Torbs. I've known him for eight years. I'd consider it with you. I've known you for a whole year. I know that you're probably not going to kill me, but that's someone you've just met. They could do anything. So when they're caving, he gets lost because they're, like,

deep in the caves and he's like, I actually don't know. No. I thought we came in through there. No. No thanks. Yeah. It sounds like they're in an underground mine, like, and they're lost down, you know, in the underground.

So I got to that stage of the day where it was getting dark outside and because when it's dark outside, I'm assuming, like, I don't know anything about caving, but I'm assuming when it's light outside, there's peaks of light and just enough to give you your bearings and know which way you're facing. But as the sun went down, they had to decide, I think it's in our best interest just to sleep here and we'll start to find our way out tomorrow when it's light again.

First date. Are you joking me? Pitch black, claustrophobic, with a stranger, just going, we're just going to have to lay here on the dirt and sleep next to each other. But also think about the animals, et cetera, that could be in the. The animals? Like a snake.

The food you're not eating? Yeah. The bathroom you're not using, heaven forbid? The whole night. They just slept in there? Yep. I would have just refused and said, no, let's find our way out now, please. Finally, the next day when they woke up, the light comes up,

the sun rises and those little peaks of light come through and they start to go, oh, okay, if there's light coming through there, that must mean they're in accident. The next day they finally figured it out and escaped the cave. That is a big no from me. Is this a real story? Yep. Wouldn't their friends and family have been worried sick? I didn't think to ask about that, but you're right.

If I had a friend, if you, like, hypothetically, you're like, oh, I'm going to meet this guy, we're going for a walk, cool, and then I just didn't hear from you till the next day? Because no doubt you would message me and be like, hey, how'd the day go? Or expect you to message and go, oh, he was lovely. Or he was a freak. Yeah, whatever. Like just check in, like with a friend when you're like, oh,

when you get home, text me, just let me know that you're safe. Yeah, because. Because I'll be anxious. Yeah. Let alone you stuck in a cave. Yeah. So the next day they wander out into the daylight and he said, I'm so embarrassed about this obviously, but I do like you

and I'd love to see you again. What would you say at this stage? I need some time. I'm not willing to commit right now to whether I want to see you again because I've just spent 24 hours in a fucking cave. I don't, I just don't think you could. She said last night was terrifying, very scary,

like one of the scariest times in my life. I was afraid. I was anxious. But yes, I'd love to see you again. No. And I mean when you're summing up the success of a first date, is the ultimate success if you get a second date, it's a tick, and if you don't, it's a cross?

Yeah, I guess so. So does this go down as a win somehow? I mean, there are definitely people that you could spend the night in a cave with and people you couldn't. you could spend the night in a cave with and people you couldn't. Tony Lodge, would you be able to and enjoy spending a night in a cave with me? I think we would fight if we were getting lost because, like, we get into little sprinkles when you say, I think this is right, and I'm like, well, I think this is right.

And then we just, like, agree to disagree and we'll go either way or whatever. I can imagine that personally I would be getting really anxious. I'd be getting really freaked out about, you know, sleeping in this cave or whatever. I'd be getting more stubborn. Yeah, but I would get more highly strung, I guess. I'd get more and more uptight.

So I think that we would definitely fight. But, like, I would feel safe. Like I wouldn't feel as if something bad was going to happen between us or anything or that you were going to, like, I would feel safe. Like, I wouldn't feel as if something bad was going to happen between us or anything or that you were going to, like, kill me and, like, live in my body as an example. Jeez, that went from zero to one. Sorry. I'll be fine.

We might fight a little bit. You'd be inside me, buddy. Oh, yeah, that's what would happen. Caving in the cave. Hey, this is Sarah from Boston, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Quick shout-out to our champion tarpers. We started a Patreon last week.

There is a $4 tier, a $10, $35 and a $1,000 tier. People had serious questions about the $1,000 tier. If you've got questions, just don't do it. Yeah, and I think as well it made me really question my comedy because I thought that was really funny and then people were like, why would I do that? I was like... Good question, bro.

If you have to ask, the answer's no. Yeah. But thank you to everyone who is supporting us. It unlocks your ability to hear exclusive episodes for patrons only. All the approvers are from the Tarpers. By the way, did you say this in the group? Tarp is T-A-R-P, which is Tony and Ryan podcast. Someone said, I thought they were talking about toppers.

Toppers. What's a topper? I don't know. Like a sex thing? Are you a top? No. I'm a bottom. For every, I'm just going to push on because I'm confused.

For every person who becomes a Patreon in the month of October, Tony and I are going to eat one nugget. We thought it might be funny that we would have to eat 40 or 50 nuggets. And at the time of recording this, it looks like we're eating over 100 to 150 nuggets each and we're terrified. Thank you. It's at 242 at the moment. Big shout out to Nathan Fairclough. Ooh, is that how I say that? Fairclough? Fairclough? C-L-O-U-G-H. Not even close. My pronunciation is bad. Also, shout out to Hayden Gleister, who is our in-house lawyer.

You need a lawyer? Gleister Legal. He'll hook you up. Stacey, thank you so much. Jack Burrows, Isaac Timon-Hung. I'm really sorry about butchering your names, by the way. You deserve better than that. Yeah, mine actually can't read.

Evan Borski, John Jutras. Can you read the last four? Yeah, yeah. This is terrible. But in all seriousness, thank you, though. Lexi Whitlock, thank you so much. Monique De Rocha, thank you. And Kristen Page.

And we won't bang on about it, but thank you so much because it means a lot to us and it opens up a lot for us to be able to, you know, make a little bit of money and, you know, look into some other options that we can kind of do pay frank the videos sorry this paper is beautiful that's really thick that's what we spent all of the um the patreon money we're spending the money on a fancy reflex i don't know if you also had this same feeling but when we thought about doing a patreon i was like oh if one in a hundred do it it might equal this many people and that would be great.

But when the first email came through that someone had become a Patreon, I was like, it didn't occur to me to that moment that this is a real person who has decided to take 10 seconds out of their day for us and like click a button and I was, like I said, I kind of did the maths in my head, but it wasn't until it was like real people with real names. I was like, what on earth have we got ourselves into?

And it's also not even just about the money. I couldn't believe it. It's really that. It's a pat on the back. Yeah, it's the support and it really, you know, there's 242 people in only a week that are that keen on what we're doing and love it so much and love us that much that they want to send a bit of support, let alone, you know,

popping in your security details, turning that card over and getting the security code on the backlog. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. So thank you. I'm genuinely chuffed. Yeah.

It's very nice. I mentioned before that I've got a question about building evacuations. Yes. Your house is on fire. What do you grab? My dog, Bronson. Yep. Bronson Johnson. BJ. Probably and like in the moment I would do this but when I think about it it's stupid but I feel like I'd grab my computer or

phone because it's got just all your info and the work stuff and just the hassle of it. Yeah. But even though like it's probably backed up and it's insured, it's not about the thing, but I don't know why, it would just probably be the first thing I went for. It's the admin of having that thing and knowing like, okay, if our house is burnt to the ground, at least I've got a bit of like normality

because I can get everything back. Look at my insurance details. Yeah, I've got everything here. So and besides that and making sure I'm wearing something. Yeah. Oh, probably Bridget. Yeah. She was pretty far down the list.

She's not going to be happy about that. Oh, but she's an independent woman and would get herself out. It would actually be the opposite of feminism to say that you would get her. She can do it herself. It'd be rude of me to imply that she needed help. She needed you to do it. What about you?

Well, it's funny that you mention all that stuff because last week when we were in here recording the podcast, I get a panicked phone call from my boyfriend, Torbs. We've been together for eight years. He calls me and says, I've just been evacuated from our building. And I was like, what? What happened? And he said, the fire alarm's going off.

We're all being evacuated. We're being like herded out of the building. And I said, what did you grab? And? And he said, oh, I've got my keys and my phone, which I'm calling you on, and I grabbed a mask. Oh, it's responsible. COVID safe.

COVID safe, yep. Obviously, lots of people. And I was like, what else did you get? And he was like, nothing. He didn't get a single thing from our house. Not your laptop? Not my laptop. Well, I actually had my laptop, but he didn't grab his laptop.

Do you have, like, some photos from you guys that you'd like to keep or, like, a sentimental couple thing? Well, I've actually got a shoebox of stuff from my mum. Oh. So it's, like, notes that my mum wrote me and photos that, like, I don't have digital copies of and, a book that I gave my mum just before she passed away that I've kept that's like really, really important to me. Stuff that is not replaceable.

Absolutely not. I've also, I have my mum's eternity ring. Like, yeah, and he didn't get that. I've got like a beautiful pearl necklace, not a sexual innuendo, like a beautiful necklace that like I would have loved for him to grab that is irreplaceable. Nothing. Nothing. So Bridget has kept all the like little notes because I used to like write her letters and stuff. So she's got them all in a little box. Yeah. So she's got her box. Yeah. And I've got a shoe box like that full of stuff of Torbs and I like when one of the first times he ever slept over, um, he,

you kept the condom, which is really cute. He left a note saying like, hey, just gone to get stuff for breakfast. And he like made me pancakes. Oh, what a keeper. And I'm like, I've got that note and stuff. Yeah, that's cute. And yeah, so I've just got like all this sentimental stuff. And yeah, it's in two shoeboxes.

Because we've only moved quite recently. All that stuff is like still just like in our study where and we need to kind of like yeah buy some new storage and put it away but what you're saying is it's very easy just to grab it it would have been very easy to grab it is it a thing maybe considering my answer as well yeah that women have the the box of sentimental things and guys don't really have anything they care about at all and i think that naturally women are probably a bit more sentimental, especially like a lot of the women that I know in my life are very sentimental.

My mum was always a very emotional person, so all the women in my life that I've grown up with have always been like really open and honest and very caring and stuff. And all the guys in my life are like that too, but, yeah, just don't think of the sentimental stuff. Were you pissed at him? Yeah. I was a bit fucked off.

I also have this spoon that I got for my first birthday and it has a duck on it and it's a silver spoon and it is like my prized possession. Every time we move house, the spoon doesn't move with the cutlery. It gets put into my handbag so it can't get lost. What do you call it? The ducky spoon. move with the cutlery, it gets put into my handbag so it can't get lost.

What do you call it? The ducky spoon. So I was in the room last week when this panicked phone call happened. Yeah. Can I just give you a rendition of how this story went from my end? Yeah. Ring, ring. Hello?

Oh, my God. Did you get my ducky spoon? Did you get my ducky spoon? You didn't get my ducky? You just got your keys. What get my ducky spoon? Did you get my ducky spoon? You didn't get my ducky? You just got your keys. What about the ducky spoon? Oh, are you okay? Oh, okay.

Yeah, cool, cool. You didn't get the ducky spoon? What happened? Okay, I'll talk to you later. Ryan's looking at me weird, bye. And that's what I heard. Yep. The ducky spoon is high on my priority list. It was actually higher than Torbz himself.

Do you realise that? Well, I was on the phone to him, so what was he going to say? He's obviously fine. I mean, maybe his mouth was talking, but the rest of his person was on fire from the waist down. He would know he never washes there. Anyway, so I was a little bit fucked off. You were a bit annoyed by that, yeah.

And did you let him know about that when you got home? And so I get home and I was like, hey, so what happened? He was like, oh, it was like, you know, it must have just been a false alarm. Someone cooking their chicken nuggets, fell asleep, they burnt, whatever. And I was like, well, mate, like why didn't you get anything? And he was like, well, there was a fucking fire alarm. I was here by myself.

I didn't even think about it. And I was a bit sharp. Okay. And then I said, maybe we need to come up with like a go bag system. A fire plan. Yeah. So that if there is a fire, we can grab things like our passports or birth certificates and you know, that stuff, that's a pain in the ass. Yeah. I would have got passports now I think about it. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm like a bit fucked off thinking like in that situation, I just would have done so much better job.

Three hours later. I love this already. Please, three hours later, Tony Lodge, what happens? The fire alarm goes off again. Well, yeah, and what did you do? Well, I'm sitting on the couch. Just panic, instant panic? Well, so I hear the fire alarm going off. I'm sitting on the couch. Just panic, instant panic? Well, so I hear the fire alarm going off. I'm sitting on the couch like in my pajamas.

I was just like wearing my nightie and I was like, holy moly, like we've got to get dressed. That's the first thing. And I had like a dress sitting on the table and I just like threw that dress on. It was actually a dress I was wearing last week with no underwear and I was still not wearing any underwear when the fire alarm went off. Anyway, so I throw on my dress and I like grab my keys and my wallet

and I fucking ran out of the house. And was Torbs very aware of everything that was going on? Well, yeah. So Torbs was like, oh my God, and I was like, what should we get? Like what should we grab? And he was like, there was one earlier. I'm sure it's fine. I was like, no, like it's always the emergency when you think

there's probably nothing that something goes wrong. Let's get the hell out of here. Anyway, so where you're at, I did maybe a worse job than Thomas did. At least he remembered underwear when he left last time. It went off three fucking times. I was going to say, is it a place that... Fire alarm's pretty common.

That had never happened before. So that's why I was so panicked when he said, oh, my God, the fire... And I was like, holy moly, like, that's never happened before. And then it went off three times in one day. It's probably like those things when, like, a car alarm goes off. Someone's probably stealing your car and you're like... Oh, that happens all the time.

What, a car alarm again? Someone's walked past. Yeah. Hey, something I love to see. Yeah. And actually, here's some advice. For me? Just for ladies in general.

And probably you because you would get plenty of male attention from the internet because, Lord knows, a lot of people are watching our vids at the moment. I'm sure you're getting some spice in those DMs. No. I saw this advice from someone. Let me pass it on. If a man sends you a dick pic that you didn't ask for,

here's what you say. I'm reporting you for child pornography. Why are you sending me a child's penis? Yeah, or screenshot it and send it to their mum. That's what I would do. I like that. Yep. Either of those options, they probably won't bother you anytime soon.

Good advice. Thank you. Great advice. You'll love to see advice from that. Just people helping people out on the internet, you know? Yeah, I love that. My you'll love to see it is a bit of a toot my own horn moment. So we took that.

Is it your I just like to toot my own horn about my skills in a fire alarm situation? Yeah, well, you need me in an emergency. No, I talked about how Torbs and I were starting to do HelloFresh because we've forgotten and run out of things to cook. We ate all of our HelloFresh. We didn't throw any of it out. You love to say that. Yeah, we didn't order takeaway once.

Really? Yep. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. And it's not even the food. It's literally like we were wasting money. We just were throwing so much food out because it was going off in the fridge. We ate every single

HelloFresh and this weekend we've planned our meals again. It's all good. You'll love to see it. You do love to see it. You know something? I don't know if this is going to sound like a brag. Yeah. HelloFresh messaged me during the week and said, do you want to do a campaign? What? I'm paying full price for HelloFresh. Yeah, during the week and said, do you want to do a campaign? What?

I'm paying full price for HelloFresh. Yeah, guess where your money's going? To you. Thanks, mate. You love to see that. I make you enough money, mate. You're all right. You're doing all right.

If anyone sees something from HelloFresh on my Instagram in the next month, thank Tony in the comments. Yeah, message me instead, please. I'm not even joking. Use the code TONY456. All right, thanks for hanging out. Wish us well in the pursuit of not dying from chicken nuggets with the Patreon, but if you would like to support us,

patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan is where you need to go. See ya. See ya. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I hate how many people... They love to meow. I know. I love to see that.

I don't love to see that. I despise that even. How dare you. Meow. You're doing it. No, it's... No, you do many meows. Meow. You're doing it. No, you do many meows. Meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.