Toni and Ryan - Travelling with Keys

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

FLAPPING TRAVELLING TONI and a harrowing event at the pub. LOVE YOU! [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So last year, like many people in this world, Tony and I became obsessed with Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos, who was a billionaire but turned out to be the biggest con artist and scam artist and liar of all time. And she was convicted of fraud and is actually soon being sentenced to probably like 10 to 20 years jail. Yes, which is insane. She just had a baby as well. And at the time of her height, she was like on the front cover of Forbes, the most powerful woman in the world, Time magazine. And just like it was all a ruse. So now. And they just remade her story with Amanda Seyfried.

It's a great show. What's that on? Disney Plus, I think. The Inventor. Yeah. And she's great in that, Amanda. Amanda. So now I find myself in the awkward moment where we're calling someone named Elizabeth Holmes for an approval. Well, I've gone, oh, and she's in San Francisco, which is like Silicon Valley. So like, I mean, of all the names and of all the places.

Well, I reckon we'd recognise the voice straight away. You know how she was famous for changing her voice? Then we'll know straight away. Because she wanted to be taken seriously, so for some reason she was... So she did the deeper voice. I just pretend to be like Steve Jobs and now I talk like this for some reason. And wear skivvies. What do you

say? It's not death row, but when you're prison bound. What's the term for that? Oh, I don't know. Because she's not in jail. She's waiting to be sentenced. Maybe it's just death row but when you're like prison bound like what's the the term for that oh i don't know because she's not in jail that she's like waiting to be sentenced maybe it's just waiting to be sentenced okay well let's guess we'll find out maybe she's already been sentenced maybe this is her one call oh hello is Hello, is that Elizabeth? This is she. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you? I'm good, thank you.

How are you? We're well, Elizabeth. I'd say we're nervous. But we just have to ask very quickly, you're not the same Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos, are you? No, but what a great name to have, right? Yeah. And it says you live in San Francisco,

so we started getting nervous because that's close to Silicon Valley that maybe we were talking for someone who is bound for jail no i know when i first saw when she first started that company i'm like oh wow cool a woman in tech first billionaire great and then you know six months later it's like she's a scam i'm like oh this bitch this name's gonna be ruined forever can i just say, this bitch. This name is going to be ruined forever. Ruined my name. Well, can I just say it is an honor and privilege to speak to the better Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah, I can say that with confidence. Oh, thank you. Well, like my husband said, he's like, you could murder someone.

No one's going to find you on Google for the rest of your life. Yeah, because when they Google your name. They don't care that for you. Yeah. Well, I still don't kill anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, keep the other people alive. That for you. Yeah. Well, I still don't kill anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, keep the other people alive. That's fine.

Right. It is good to have the security blanket though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Before we do actually get sent to jail, would you mind approving this podcast, Elizabeth? Absolutely. Yay!

Woo! And to be fair, when I found out there was a Ryan Dunn in Jackass, that's when I started my murderous spree because, I mean, Google. Right. SEO. Try and find me. Yeah, exactly. You don't want to miss that opportunity.

Hi, this is the not jail-bound Elizabeth Holmes from San Francisco, California, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the vodcast, the video show. Great to be here. How are you feeling? Still getting better? Mate, I'm good. Sounding great. Yeah, thank you.

I want to know if you, Ryan, or anybody listening or watching our video show, have you ever been with someone who has done something so rude or so embarrassing that you just wanted the earth to swallow you whole? Was it me? Shockingly, no. It actually wasn't. That's offensive that you answered that way. Normally it is you, but no, it was not you.

Before we get started, I just wanted to say, now this is like a murky thing because I was about to say, I know you haven't been well, but thanks for like being a trooper and coming in. But I feel like during COVID, it's like, that's not a thing. I don't have COVID. I've done a COVID test. I'm fine. But you know how I'm like, oh, we don't like to celebrate.

No. And normally I wouldn't endorse. No. But you were only sick the other week. So I was like, I don't want to not come in. Yeah. I know you better than me. I get it. But what I wanted to say is thank you for being a trooper.

And remember last week how you were like, whenever you go to a new city, what do you do? You don't remember. No, I don't remember. You said you go to the Phantom of the Opera. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, check your inbox because there's some breaking news. Phantom of the Opera is coming to Melbourne.

It starts next week. I know. I'm so excited. Someone commented yesterday and I was like, oh, my God. You guys were talking about Phantom of the Opera. Yes. And it's coming to our city next week. So check out the email.

Check out the dates. I'll just send it to you. Oh, my God. I'm going to Phantom of the Opera. Opening week, baby. Not the opening show. Couldn't get tickets for that. It was sold out.

But second opening night. These tickets are so expensive. No, they're not. Where do you normally sit? I just took a guess that you were a balcony gal. Holy shit. Are you coming with me? There's two tickets.

We're going together. I would have thought it was like a date thing with Torbs. Well, you've never seen it. Wouldn't you love to go and see it? No. Hey. I'd love for you to come with me. You bought me the tickets.

I'd love for you to come with me. This was about me giving, not about me receiving. Yeah. And I've said that to George Wendell and I'll say it again. I'd love for you to come to the Phantom of the Opera with me. Thank you for the tickets. I'll see if I'm free. It's a gift for you.

Because you said, if I find out that it was just like some throwaway comment. No, no, no. I normally, whenever it's on, I normally go and watch it. Well, it's in Melbourne. I think it's at the Arts Centre or one of the fancy theatres in town. State Theatre. Oh, shit. Hello.

Get your frock ready, love. Get your frock ready. What day is that? It's a Thursday night. Oh. So opening night's a Wednesday. But we work on a Thursday. We work early on a Thursday.

So I figured, no, you go on a Thursday night and we'll take the Friday off and you just relax yourself. Bloody hell. All right. Enjoy. That's from us. That's from the Tarpers. Oh, that's really nice.

Thanks to the tip-off, whoever gave me that tip-off, that they're coming to town as well. They're coming to town. It's not a, like. Travelling circus. Well, they actually weren't planning on it. Then they heard that you loved it and they're like, oh, we better go to Melbourne for Tony.

We better go down there. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. All right. Good. Do you know what you love to say? Oh, just use that one. Okay, we'll revisit this.

Question for everyone. How long do you arrive at the airport before a domestic flight? How long? So to be honest, like compared to Tony. So this is a travel edition of Flapped Tony. Well, I just have some travel questions. Okay. But there might be some flappedness going on here.

Compared to Tony, I'm like late and a bit like blasé. But I would suggest compared to like the average person in society, I'm just in the middle and quite normal. Do you reckon? But just compared to you. Yeah, okay. Yep, okay. I'm late and blasé.

Yep. For instance, do you prepare Excel spreadsheets for trips? No, not normally. But why have you started then? Because I remember you were running me through, you had a plan or something. Yeah, I always have a list, but I'm not an Excel guy. Right.

But, yes, I do always have a list. In my Notion. Okay. I'd say that's – okay. So in Notion you've got a thing. Yeah. Do you think most people do that? No, probably not.

But surely most people would have, like, a note in their iPhone or something of things that they, like, need to pack or organise before they go. Surely? No? Probably not, I wouldn't have thought. You've never made a note on your phone being like, oh, I need to make sure that I pack this thing. I'm a to-do list guy, but never to pack.

But that's the same as a to-do list. Well, my to-do list is like, for today it was like, go in in the morning and record the podcast. Well, you don't need to write that on a list. You know that you have to do that. Well, if it wasn't on the list, how would I know? But then it's like and in the afternoon I'll like do the videos and then I wrote like I have to go to the post office to like sign a document or whatever.

Yeah. So it's the exact same thing but it's like, oh, I need to remember to pack like anti-historians because I'm going somewhere where like the politicians, I don't know, like those little things. It's not like three times knickers or anything. On the list would be pack. Four letters.

There wouldn't be subcategories. But, like, what if there was something that you needed to, or, like, you always forget a phone charger or something, so you're like, oh, I have to put phone charger on the list, like, otherwise I'll forget it. That's just included in pack. Because in a few weeks we've got a trip and then a few weeks after that we've got another trip and you're like,

oh, but we've only got back two weeks prior. And I'm like, yeah, we'll just put stuff in your bag and we'll go again. You're like, oh, no, I need to create a new notion list. Yeah, but it wasn't about – oh, this makes me so angry. So we are going on like a holiday and then we're going on another work trip, international boo-boo, and I was like, oh, that's like not long after we get back. So we are going on like a holiday and then we're going on another work trip. Yeah. International boo-boo. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, that's like not long after we get back. You're like, yeah, well, it's fine. And I was like, I wasn't. You were. No, I actually wasn't. I was like, oh. I will have only not deleted the most recent spreadsheet notion thing and I'll have to start another one. No.

It was actually like, oh, it was like a comment on time. It was like a cute coincidence of like, oh, we would have only just gotten back. It wasn't like, oh, my God, how am I? I'm panicked now because you're fucking me off. Have I done something to fuck you off? Oh, I see. What?

That's why you bought the tickets. Because now I can't get angry with you because you did something really nice. I'm just buying tickets for people I care about. That's all I'm doing. It was merely a comment on the time between when we get back because Torb's and I are going to New Zealand to visit our BFFFFs, our best friends in the world, and then only a couple of weeks later, then we have to jet off for this other trip.

Franco, cut in on my face. The first time you've sent an edit note to Franco. I do that normally. I literally do it every week and you know that. So do I. I know. Also. Are we arguing?

Yeah. On the video show? Yeah. On the video show? Yeah, on the video show. So Tony's old car died and you've got a new one. And I was like, great. What an opportunity for me to like go for a spin in the new wheels and you can drive us to the airport because I don't have a car. And then you go, nah, I don't like driving to the airport.

And at first I'm like, yeah, like it's busy and whatever. And you go, yeah, I don't like having keys on holidays. It freaks me out. It does. What do you mean? I hate travelling with keys. I don't know. Even I know how crazy this sounds.

Okay. As long as you can acknowledge, like if you can acknowledge that it seems crazy, then I'm fine with it. Okay. But explain it. Okay. But explain it to me. Break it down. So if I've got my car keys or house keys or work keys or whatever with me in another city or country or wherever, that's just crazy.

It's just crazy. They can't help me with any door I'm close to. And it's just something I have to think about while I'm away. To be like, oh, do I still have my house keys? Because I haven't needed to use them in however long. So earlier this week you found out that my scooter was stolen. Yes. And the reason it was stolen is because I never lock it.

I often don't lock my front door. And I go, oh, because I don't like carrying keys around. And you were like, that's ridiculous. Your house will get robbed. Someone will steal your scooter. And now I hear that you're the same person. No, I don't like taking keys overseas or like internationally, interstate. Can I tell you a secret? So when you park at the airport, like you don't park at the airport. There's like a turn off three minutes before it. Well, do you get it?

Yeah, I do get it. So what happens is you drive into the airport thing, you park undercover, and they go, cool, we'll take your keys. Oh, do they take your keys? I get it. Oh, I didn't know they took your keys. Then I don't like the thought of them having my keys. Do you want the keys or not?

No, but I don't want someone else to have them. Because what happens is they take it away and put it, like, underground, undercover, so it's safe. And then when you arrive, they bring it back up, so you can just jump in your car and drive off. And it's way cheaper than the airport. It's actually really cheap when you go to the one, like, just around the corner.

But they've got your keys. Yeah, because they've got your car so they can move it and get it ready for you. Like have you seen movies that have like in the US where they have like valets? Yeah, that freaks me out. That freaks me out. So. Because the idea of someone having access to my car

or whatever just like freaks me out. They go and park it for you. Yeah, but then who knows what else they do. Have you seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? They steal that from someone's house. No, no, no, but then they park at valet in the city and then they joyride around San Francisco with it. So you're telling me, and again, we only know the existence of valets from watching movies in America.

Yeah. And it's always like the rich, fancy, like, Beverly Hills Hotel. Oh, yep. And so this movie star pulls in and he's Bentley. This big Hollywood executive pulls in and he's Maserati. You roll in and they go, we're going to steal her one. Is that how you see this playing out? You never know.

Maybe they want to roll around in a hatchback. You never know. I've got something to add that, like, I don't just want this to be stacks on Tony. There's something that if you called me out for, guilty as charged. Okay. Does anyone else when travelling always pack their running shoes? Because you're like, yeah, I'll get up there.

I'll go for a run. Oh, there's a gym in the hotel. Yeah, I'll go down there and get a workout in. And then you obviously, you would never in your life exercise when you're away. And if that's not bad enough, you see the shoes and they make you feel guilty. That makes you feel even more horrible. But then worse, you're trying to pack and you know it's always harder to fit your shit in on the way home even though it's the same amount of stuff?

Why is that? Why is that? And so then the final thing is you're like, if only these fucking shoes didn't take over all this room. Mate, I did the same thing. Did you? Packed my workout gear. I was like, I'll wake up early, I did the same thing. Did you? Packed my workout gear. I was like, I'll wake up early, go to the hotel gym.

No, I didn't do that. When we went to meet Monique De Rocha, I was like, meet me downstairs at 7.50. So you roll in at 7.49, you're like, I woke up 46 seconds ago. Yeah. And we're like, we know, bro. Yeah. But I'll get up early and get a workout in.

It's the same as when you're packing for a holiday or whatever and you're going for five days and you pack like 10 pairs of knickers. You're like, oh, just in case I shit myself. Yeah. Or like, oh, I've had this dress for six years. I've never worn it. I'll take it with me. This will be my time.

You never know. Yeah. I'm glad someone else does it. Yep. One pair of underwear for each day and a few in case I shit myself. So I'm not the only one that does that. Oh, no. Oh, great.

My bag is all workout gear and underwear. That's all I'm bringing. Just in case I shit and don't run. So. Hi, this is the good Elizabeth Holmes from San Francisco, California. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. So no pressure, but on Monday, I've said, what is the one musical movie that could convert me into liking musicals.

Now, I'm not like making a stand being like, I hate them. I want to hate them. You can't change my mind. I want to like them. To like them. Yeah. So what is that one musical that can convince me that this could be a new way for me? So over the weekend, people in Patreon will be voting and there's a lot of discussion about what is this one musical going to be.

And then on Monday, Tony will be rapping and I'll either be, you'll be literally preaching to the converted or maybe not. Maybe not. I really like musicals, obviously. I've talked about it before. She's got a Phantom of the Opera. It's coming to Melbourne. I'll buy her some tickets.

I might get some tickets for that. No, I've got you covered, bro. Oh, thank you so much. Don't drive, though, because you'll have to sit there with your keys like a fucking arsehole. They're in the middle of a... Jingling them. What do I do?

Would you cloak them? No, because then someone else has them. Okay. I just want no one to have... I just wish my keys could go nowhere. You know? No. No, I don't.

A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon, Abigail Brown. Oh, my God, your screen's turned off. My screen's turned off. Oh, no, the video show. Not the video show. Okay, I've got mine. How are you going?

We're back. We're back. We're back. Abigail Brown, thank you so much. Swally. Melissa Mansfield. Bloody good on you, Melissa. Thank you.

Polly Godden-Klaus. Evie Harkin. Lucy Pie Ross. That's a sick name. I love a pie. Ross? Whenever you think about pie, do you think about like sweet or savoury? So usually it would be sweet, but we're going through a phase where,

what's that cool deli across from your joint? Toscano's? Toscano's, yeah. They do a really good pie and then I just get home, put it in the oven and it's like a chicken herb something, like a big one, and then we'll just like slice it up, add some salad and stuff and it's like there's a hot tip for an easy meal. So we're all about pies.

Torb's makes a mean chicken pie. Yeah. Yeah. Amanda Kerbshoes, Leia, Jacobus Vivier, Unca Strubes, Gabby Davies, and Connor McGinn. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Thanks for coming around. Have you ever, Ryan, you listening, you watching the video show,

have you ever been with someone who has done something so rude or so embarrassing, so harrowing, that you wanted the earth to swallow you whole? You've dropped a H, a harrowing. Mate, honestly, this is like I'm embarrassed telling this story secondhand. I was embarrassed to see it. I was embarrassed to be part of the situation. Honestly, just the worst thing ever.

You wanted to be swallowed whole by the earth. It was. And I am obviously like an anxious person or whatever, but I don't get embarrassed very easily. Like I kind of roll with the punches whenever I'm embarrassed, but this was like a curl your fingers, like nails on a chalkboard vibes, like just like hideous. So I don't know what happened, but I saw you minutes after.

Yep. And you looked like a shadow of your former self. You looked shriveled up. You were terrified. And I go, what happened? Are you okay? And you went, I am now, but I'll tell you on the show, I just need to, I still don't know what.

And I was like, I could tell you were like. Rattled. Yep. Fully flapped. Yep. Fully rattled. I was flapped. Yep.

So please, the moment has come. What the fuck happened? So last week. At. Fully rattled. I was flapped. Yep. So, please, the moment has come. What the fuck happened? So last week. At the Piermont Hotel. We were in Sydney. And we're, you know, we're out there, we're schmoozing the bosses at Spotify. So they're not our bosses, but they're the bosses. Yeah, yep.

And there's kind of, you know how there's like the person we talk to all the time, one of the bosses. Yep. They're the person that they report to. Like our boss's boss. Our boss's boss. It's like the easiest way to describe it. Would the term the big dog be out of place here? I wouldn't have thought so.

I feel like the big dog is appropriate. Okay. So when we're, not that we're like assholes other times, but I feel like when you're around your boss, you're like you're on your best behaviour, you're being nice. Exactly right. You may be, you know, just being professional. And you're just trying to make sure that, yeah,

you're putting that best foot forward. You're just like kind of, you're having fun and you're loose and whatever, but you're like kind of, it's about you. You know what it's like? You're in a work meeting and like your boss rocks in and suddenly everyone goes, oh, yep, yep, all good. That sounds appropriate. Yes, the budget and checking and we're not talking about our weekends.

Yes. At work. Exactly. So we were like on, right? We had a bunch of meetings during the day and then we actually spoke at this conference, you and I, and it was like we were repping Spotify and it was like kind of a cool day. We were doing all this stuff.

It was like biz chat. And so the big dog and our other boss, we like kind of a cool day. We were doing all this stuff. It was like biz chat. And so the big dog and our other boss, we were kind of all together and then the people that put on this conference put on like networking drinks afterwards. Which is as fun as it sounds. Yeah. So when you go into the conference, everyone's got this like yellow lanyard on and then at the end of the day, across the road from where we'd had the conference, everyone's got this, like, yellow lanyard on and then at the end of the day,

across the road from where we'd had the conference, everybody's bloody, like, skipping over the road because they've had, like, a long day inside and they're raring for a bev. Yep. And we get over to this pub and they make this announcement and it's, like, two drinks per lanyard or something. Like, you know, everyone's got their, like, allotted amount of alcohol and we kind of got there and everyone's, like, fucking raring to go.

Yeah, yeah. And because it's, like, people you don't often see. It's, like, people from different companies and they're doing different stuff. So you're like, oh, I saw that thing that your business is doing in this thing. Oh, yes, please tell me more about the head of growth innovation. Exactly.

That's exactly what it is. Growth innovation. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And so, you know, everybody's like loosening the tie, you know, that like typical end of the week kind of thing. Finishing that first beer, looking into the second. Maybe I will unbutton the shirt a few notches. You know, they've still got their lanyard on because they're feeling special

and they want to make sure they get their second drink out of it. Can we do a whole deep dive about lanyards, by the way? Please. I get it. You're important. People's personality change when they put on a lanyard. It's like Clark Kent taking the glasses off. You know the Bondi hipsters?

Yes. How they're like wankers? One of their job titles is failed fashion designer slash lanyard collector. Because I was one of those wankers who would go to music festivals and, like, keep the lanyard and stuff. But, like, who didn't? But everybody did that because it was just, like, it was exciting.

It was cool and whatever. But anyway, everyone's got their lanyard on still to make sure that they can get another drink. They're like the guy who, you know, put on the conference is like, oh, guys, like, you know, bars over there, whatever. But we, so we're all fucking sprinting across the road. We get up to the thing and it's like the function is upstairs. Yep.

And on the left of the staircase is like roped off for this function. You know how like at a pub it says like private function. Private party. Like lanyards only. Lanyards. Yeah. Point kind of thing. Assume you got a lanyard. Lanyards, yeah. Past this point kind of thing. Assume you've got a lanyard.

Not in here, mate. Not in here. And it's like that kind of vibe where, you know, you get one, you know, shit glass of white wine and then you know that later in the evening there's probably going to be like a big plastic platter with like sausage rolls on it or something and everyone's going to have one. That kind of vibe.

Anyway, so we're standing there. We're up there for like 45 minutes or an hour. We have our two-a-lot-of-drinks according to our lanyard. And then our boss kind of goes, oh, we've got dinner planned, so we kind of need to wrap it up in the next 10, 15 minutes. And that boss goes and grabs the big dog. Yep. As we mentioned before.

Two drinks goes a long way when you've been inside all day. Okay. So everyone's pretty merry by this point. And as we were going to go down to the dinner, our boss is trying to pull the big dog away from a conversation that they're in. And I think that maybe someone's lent them their lanyard and they've had more than their two allotted drinks. Really?

Lanyard swapping. They're going to be a bit tiddly. Yeah. And this is the point where you run off to the bathroom. Of course. And we lose you. Yep. And this is where it happened, where the crime was committed.

It's me with the two big wigs, the boss and the big dog. Again, I'm still on my best behaviour. I've had my half a glass of shit white wine to keep my wits about me. downstairs out of the private function area before realising that a waitress is walking up the stairs with two big trays. Right, and so when you just get the fuck out of their way? Well, so you kind of like step back. Yep, let them through. Like you like reverse up the stairs back onto like the main landing or whatever.

I would say a big tray of stuff trumps a lanyard. Oh, every time. Every time. Yeah, we're not rude. No, never. Never, never, never. So I'm trying to do my best to, like, paint the picture here. So she's coming up the stairs.

She's got two big trays and each tray has like six things of chips on it. Fuck, yeah. Okay. And so we step back up off the thing. Yep, get out of her way. She's carrying heaps. And the big dog is like behind me and I'm like, oh, hop out of the way, big dog.

Yeah. This waitress is coming through with like all these things of chips. Yeah. And like they've looked fucking good. They were like crinkle cut chips. And like there's something about a crinkle cut chip. Crinkle And, like, they've looked fucking good. They were, like, crinkle cut chips. And, like, there's something about a crinkle cut chip. Crinkle cut does mean, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It just, like, it feels a bit more naughty because it's a bit different. Sprinkle some vinegar on it. Vinegar on chips? On a crinkle cut? Oh, I love vinegar. On a crinkle fry? Oh. Yeah.

So, you're on the area. You're all barred up. You're understanding. Yep. Yep. And I'm sure that area. You're all barred up. You're understanding. And I'm sure that right at this point you can probably see where this is going. So she's walked up onto the landing. We hop out of the car. We're like, oh, fuck, sorry.

Up you come. She walks past us. The big dog goes, oh, fuck, they look good. I'll just steal a chip. It's perfectly balanced. And kind of just goes to take one single fry. We're on our way out and he's like, oh. Fry for the road.

You know, because she's walking up into the function area. So he's like, oh, they're obviously like for us. They're our fry. Yeah. She, the waitress, gives the big dog the filthiest fucking look. I'm trying to mount these stairs, bro. Yeah. So she's, like, not only, like, carrying all this stuff,

but she's also like, bro, you know. And he's like, oh, it's okay, got my lanyard on, and, like, kind of flicks the lanyard. And I was just like, oh, my God, how fucking embarrassing. This girl continues to give her, to give us the, I'm sorry, this is just reliving this. She continues to give him the filthiest fucking look. Yeah.

And we kind of keep moving out of the way so that she can continue past to the left where we were. And she walks to the right. They're not our chips. They weren't for us. And so he's grabbed. Is it because Big Dog was all lanyarded off and he just made some big assumptions? I've got a lanyard.

He's got big lanyard energy. Big lanyard energy. That's what's going on. He's like fucking pumped up. He's like, oh, just grab a chip. We're on the way out. Yeah. And this girl just goes, like, how fucking rude.

And walks off. And I was embarrassed enough at first, but him being like, I've got the lanyard doll. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And then she gives, like, goes, I'm sorry. I'm just. So then she walks the other way.

They weren't even for our function. I know it's normal for these functions to have chips and the plate of sausage. I didn't think we had that. We didn't do that. We didn't. Yeah, I was going to say at no time was it even implied that food was on the way, hence us going out for dinner instead.

Yes. But so she comes up with all these things of chips. Oh, these are a bit of a ride. And he's like, oh, they're obviously for – you know, because that was kind of the vibe. And they weren't even for our function. And then she, like, the jerk she is. Did she have to go top up the plate?

And she drops them off and goes, oh, sorry, some big dog just stole some of your chips. Let me just go get a little cup and I'll top you up. So he literally just took one chip off the top. Did he dunk it in the sauce? No, there was no sauce. Okay. Well, that's a shame on them for not ordering it.

Yeah, exactly. But, like, he's taken this chip off? No, there was no sauce. Okay. Well, that's a shame on them for not ordering it. Yeah, exactly. But he's taken this chip off literally just someone else's plate. Just another person at the pub took their chip off their plate. I've just thought of another what is the most excruciating thing we could make Tony do. You know that time I said

walk up to someone in a supermarket and ask do you work here to someone who clearly doesn't work there? How would you go? And we're not like prank people. That's not who we are. No. But how would you go just going up to someone in a restaurant and just being like, can I have a chip?

No fucking way. Because that's what he's done indirectly. But he didn't even ask. He didn't ask. He just did it. You go up to a restaurant and just take someone's chip. Sorry, I thought that was mine. What?

I've got a lanyard on. The table's over there. I've got a lanyard on. Sorry, do you not understand that the lanyard allows me to do whatever I want? Yeah, I'm actually better than you. But, like, so anyway, she just gives him the most filthy look. And I was like, fuck me. They're not for us.

Right? And then he's like, oh, fuck, sorry. And the other boss is, is like pushing us down the stairs because we're like running late for this dinner reservation. How much did he just drink? No more than anyone else there. It was the big line in energy. Yeah.

It was boosting him up too much. And society, take this as a warning. Yep. It can happen to the best of us. It can. Yeah. But, oh, my God, it was honestly just like the most embarrassing. And it was only the three of us standing there. So it's not as if we were like lost in a crowd of people oh is this your mate

it's like did you just did you consider taking a step back and being like i don't know him well no i went i'm so sorry and like kind of pushed him down the stairs because i was like get the fuck out of here we need to like we just need to get the fuck out of here. Because when I saw you, you all looked so sheepish and I was like, what the fuck has happened? It was so, it was like mortifying. It was so fucking embarrassing. And just the look on this girl's face, like it replays in my nightmares. It was like the dirtiest look I've ever seen.

Please tell me you love to see it because I'm, I don't think I can look at him again. I do actually have a lovely. He's a backpack guy. He is a backpack guy. He is a backpack guy. Would you say he looks cute or normal? Ah, yeah. I think he looks normal in a backpack.

Fuck. Okay. Just me. Sorry. Yep. Cool. I have a very quick you love to see it about Maya Smith. Say hi, Maya Smith.

Hey, Maya Smith. She's a topper. And she... I don't know if you've seen this in a Facebook group or not, but she is the one who has organised the Tarp Pen Pal. Oh, yeah. So Maya has gone through and paired. There's a lot, right?

Like 400 people. Maya, as someone who is shipping thousands of drink bottles across the world. It's not about you. It's about Maya. No, but I think I can empathise with Maya on the sense of we probably didn't know when we started what we were getting ourselves into. Yeah. Because she was like, yep, a couple of people want to be pen pals,

how fun, and now it's like, add your name to the list. There's a lot of names on that list. 400 people. She said 400 of you signed up. I'm amazed. I missed the initial sign up, but I'm sure if I messaged Maya, she would. Maybe we could be pen pals.

Oh, yeah, we could do that. I mean, we texted already, so maybe that would be easy. I want a written letter. Okay, cool. Yep, I could do that. Yep. Just add it to the list. From the desk of Dr. Tony Lodge.

Live, but it's me live. But, yeah, you love to see that. Thanks for organising that, Maya. I know that's going to make lots of people really happy. Yeah, it is awesome. And thank you, yeah, like, for taking on the task. These things get out of hand. They do get out of hand, yes.

Can I send a shout out to Tapa Hanakoli? Hi, Hanakoli. She says, after getting a recommendation many, many episodes ago, I've finally taken up Tony and Ryan on the offer. Uh-huh. Today I had my first ever cheese Kransky. And don't you just love to see and taste it, says Hannah Colley. As a long-time TARP listener and a long-time sausage enthusiast,

I would rate this snag 10 out of 10, says Hannah. Thank you, Tony. And you'd be right, Hannah. You would be right. Thank you, Tony. Thank you, Ryan, for the recommendation all those episodes ago. My life will never be the same. You'll love to see that.

Yeah. Can we go get a Kransky now? Yeah. It turns out it wasn't Hannah's Kransky. It was for the room next door, and she just took it off the plate on the way through, but I'm glad that she's enjoyed it nonetheless. But she was wearing a lanyard, so it was fine. Yeah, so if I can put it in your gob, sweetheart.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for listening and watching. If you're watching The video show We appreciate it Yeah appreciate it Come through And sorry to the people

At the Piedmont Hotel Whose chips were looking A little light Did I get a large fry? It looks more like a regular Yeah it doesn't look like The large that we ordered Do you reckon

Uber drivers take a chip? It'd be hard not to The smell of The smell That's the thing It's like when you walk Into the smell of the smell that's the thing it's like when you walk into the lift of your apartment

and you go someone's just fucking ordered food yeah or someone's had fish and chips alright we're getting fish and chips and a Kransky

yep big day for us hopefully it's a big day for you too thanks for listening love you chat to you Monday bye Chat to you Monday. Bye. Bye.

Double fisting. Huh? Thank you.