Toni and Ryan - Tree Change Toni

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

A wallet story that will change your life. Love you! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are... Yow! Let's call Rick! Let's call Rick! Let's call Rick! Let's call Rick! Let's call Rick!

In Kernersville! Let's call Rick! The one in North Carolina! Yow! Yup, yup! Call Rick! Yeah! Hello, this is Rick. Rick! It's Tony and Ryan.

How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? We're great. How are the textiles in Kernersville, North Carolina today? Oh, well, they're lovely. In fact, I'm actually in Cleveland, Ohio, because I'm on a textile conference.

Now tell me, you're at a working textiles, you're at a textiles conference. Is the textiles biz like a rowdy crowd? Is there a few drinks after the conference tonight or is it a pretty tame one? Yes. In fact, especially the old guys, they go the hardest, I think. That's what I've heard.

We've started now. I don't know what time we'll finish. So you're on the bevs already, Rick. Let's call Rick back at the end of the episode. Yeah, I was going to say, should we give him a couple of hours and then see how we look at it? And we'll see just how hard those old guys are. But Rick, will you approve today's episode?

Exactly. Absolutely. Woo-hoo! Hi, this is Rick from North Carolina and I approve this podcast. Alright, coming up today, back to back after coincidence chat yesterday,

Tony has more coincidence chat. Wholesome coincidence chat, though. When I start to tell the story, you'll know that it is significantly different and doesn't end the same way as the coincidence chat that we had yesterday. Oh, so no one's getting raided from behind. Great. Not to my knowledge, no. Not while I was there anyway.

Okay. I mean, you know, BTS. Yeah, sure. Something might have taken place. But not while I was there, no. Okay, great. All right, but coming up first, Confessions. These are top confessions.

And that's top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast. Thanks for submitting them at tonyandryan.com.au anonymously. Very anonymous. So anonymous. Anonymous confession. I had a job dropping off flyers in people's letterboxes when suddenly the combination of coffee and walking hit my bowels. And boy does it.

And I found myself deep in suburbia needing to ship but nowhere to let fly. Do you know what I wonder a lot? I think about this a lot because I get a lot of parcels delivered. What do delivery drivers do when they need to poop? Great question. I often think about this. McDonald's, public parks, in a bottle in the car. But, like, that would be awful, hey?

You can't just kind of – or if you've got a bit of a dodgy tummy. And you're on the road. And you're on the road. Like, what are you supposed to do? Say you go out and you have, you know, too many Szechuan dumplings. What are you supposed to do the next day? You know, and you've got spicy tum and, like, not feeling too fresh. If you had a delivery driver at your house going, hey, can I use the bathroom?

I mean, you'd obviously say yes, but that's real fucking awkward though, right? It is awkward. I don't. And a lot of people might be funny about it. I think if I was home alone, I would probably be like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. How do you say no? I was at a barber and there was a guy who was.

At a girl's house. No, no. There was a guy, like a roadworks guy who was doing works on the road out the front of the barber. Yeah. And he like came in sheepishly to the barber and said, oh, is it all right if I use the bathroom? Yeah.

And they were like, yeah, of course. But like, again, like you're in the middle of nowhere paving roads or whatever. Like you can't just drop the kids off at the pool when you need to if you're on the move. But, yeah, how do you say no? Like you're just an evil witch. Mate, I really need to go. No. And you go, I don't have a toilet.

Like what do you say? No, you can't use one of my toilets. Yeah. They're actually all being used currently. Used at the moment by Pippa. Yeah. We'd moved out of a house a few weeks prior and I was pretty sure no one had moved in yet

and I knew how to kind of shimmy the laundry door open so I thought I might duck into my old house for one final dump. As soon as I let fly, I'd heard voices. No way. Not a voice. Voices. There was no car in the driveway. Like,. Not a voice. Voices. There was no car in the driveway. Like, it looked like no one was there.

Sitting on the bog, I listened intently to figure out what was going on. Have we had many offers? Should we put a sign out the front? Should we put some music on, maybe? It's a fucking inspection. Three people from the real estate company had just shown up for an open for inspection. Tony, what would you do in this situation? One of two things.

I'd see how close it was to the o'clock because normally those inspections start at 11 or 11.30 or whatever. And I would go, I'd walk out. I wouldn't flash. I'd walk out and I'd go. You wouldn't flash. No, because I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself. I'd go, oh, yeah, that laundry is really nice.

And they'd go, how did you get in? I'd go, oh, there's three of them, pit them against each other. Oh, she let me in. I'm here for the open for inspection. Or if it was someone you recognize, you'd go, oh, I used to live here. I just wanted to make sure that last bit was clean. I don't know. No?

Is that too edgy? I think the headline feels right, but the reality is like, what? Like, I don't know if that, yeah. Oh, I left something very sentimental to me in the laundry. In the bottom of the toilet. Yeah, and it's still there. I've left something behind. Yeah, you might take that out of the bomb.

Well, you've got to act quick. I feel like pretending to look at the house is the closest you'd get and go, oh, the back door was open and I wandered down the driveway or something. This is where you get caught out trying to over-explain. Yeah, I do. Yeah. So, okay, no, you know what I would do?

I pretend I'm the fourth real estate agent and go yeah I'm actually hi I'm Stephanie just taking some photos my first day did Darrell not introduce me to you that's so random yep oh all looks good guys thank you so much did you need me to stay and take anyone through the home a beautiful two bedroom three bathroom

and would anyone want one of these flyers that I was dropping off of my phone yeah I've got the examiner here with a fucking copy of it. They had Tony Lodge thoughts. Yeah. But again, the more you explain, the more trouble you get in. Okay. Before you, and I know that you know.

I'm by, now that I've known what's happened. But what would you do? I think I'd do what that person did. Okay, yep. They just snuck out of the bathroom and went, yeah, I'll have a think about it, and just walked straight out the door. Yep. Leave them wanting more.

Shit. Yeah, I think you have to. Yeah. Yeah, and that was my first. And I think with that one is you also just, and you just go. Yeah. Don't answer any, don't explain, don't follow up. Yeah, I'll have a think and just go.

Yeah, I'll have a think about it. Yeah. Because for all, they would go. Oh, because there was a back door and I thought I would just, no, no, no. No, no, no. Just fucking go. Yeah, I'll keep having a think. Yeah, I think you've got to do that.

What's your thought, bit off topic, but what's your thought on leaving a little kindness roll in a house when you leave? Is kindness roll a... Like a... Oh, sorry, like a toilet paper. I thought that was like code word for the shit you just left in the toilet. Oh, my God, no.

What's your thought on just leaving a floater in the bathroom? Why would that be called a toilet roll? I don't know. I don't know. That's a weird thing to call it for sure. What would you call that? Nah, toilet roll. But just one?

Yeah. So in our house, so we just moved in, and they left a toilet paper roll and hand soap in one of the toilets. And I was like, you haven't done that by accident. You've done that on purpose so that the day that things were getting moved in, we would have. Isn't that so nice? Very nice.

Very nice. Really, really nice. What else did they do that was nice? Is it courtesy? Courtesy. A courtesy roll. What did I say? Kindness.

You said a kindness roll. What a dickhead. No, I meant courtesy. Courtesy roll. What else did they leave behind that you were chuffed about? What else did they leave behind? They left all the manuals and instructions. They did.

They left this. Honestly, the kindest thing that I've ever seen. I didn't know that people did this, but apparently it's a thing. So every single manual, because there's like an air con and there's like an automatic fan and there's a bing and a bong and a whatever, and every single manual for everything in the house is in there. And like one of the fire has like the remote stopped working.

Yeah. But like in the manual is the, in the folder is the manual for the thing. It's got the serial number. Here's the batteries you need and blah, blah, blah. It's so good. Yep, lovely. No, and because I've only ever lived in rentals.

Yeah. No one gives a fuck. You don't get that service in rentals. You get a fucking smack in the face and like, we're going to up your rent in two months, asshole. Yeah. You know? Like, you get treated like just dirt.

But when you buy a house, it's really nice. I'm like an angry lady on a current affair. Well, you do. They just treat you like dirt. They do, though. I, like, have never had a good experience with a landlord. Sorry, not the owner. Owners have always been lovely when I've spoken to them. It's the bloody property managers.

Yeah, they're all fucked, except for the big deal. She's one of the greats. Oh, the big deal. Yeah, she doesn't count. She got a turkey. A pet one. Oh, the big deal. Yeah, she doesn't count. She got a turkey. A pet one. Oh. Not for Thanksgiving.

She's kept it. Do Americans have... Sorry, I'm just paused. Complete sentences? Do they have answers? Do they have the same lunch at Christmas that they have at TG? Quite similar. Because.

Thanksgiving is often bigger in some families than Christmas. But that's what I'm wondering. Because you've only just done the huge thing. Huge turkey. You're ready for another. I mean, one turkey is. Do you turk again a month later? I reckon that's when you roll the crackle out.

But they don't do lamb over there. We do, for Christmas, we do pork. Yeah, or is that the one they don't do? Which is nummies. I don't know. There's a meat they don't do over there. Maybe it's lamb. But do they do another big Christmas dinner or lunch, whatever?

Yeah, great. Let us know on the episode thread. Let us know. Sorry, back to the- In the meantime, let's do another confession. Yeah, sorry. When I say the first sentence of this confession, we'll all already know what happened. I'm still going to do the story, though's do another confession. Yeah, sorry. When I say the first sentence of this confession, we'll all already know what happened.

Amazing. I'm still going to know the story though. Oh, okay. So you don't have anywhere to be today. You're going to hang around the whole half hour. I'm not that close with my mum, but last Christmas I travelled back to my hometown to meet her new partner who just became my stepdad. That's very big of you.

That's very big of you. That's very big of you. It's hard when you don't get along with your family and you have to see them. I'm very proud of you for doing that because that's fucking rough. Yeah. She's fucked the stepdad, obviously. Sorry. Yeah, I was wrapped up in how nice that was.

Very nice. Yeah. Very, very nice. Yeah. The night before seeing my mum, I was bored, so to pass the time, I went on Tinder and ended up getting railed by some old bloke in his apartment. God brings new meaning to daddy, doesn't it?

I didn't see that coming. I'm really embarrassed. Neither did she. Neither did the mum. Oh, that's one way to fuck Christmas. Fuck my husband. Unfortunately, I forgot my purse, which had my ID and credit card in it, in his apartment.

Well, he just brought it to Christmas Day. Was it Christmas, did you say? Yeah. The next day I went round to my new stepdad's place, and lo and behold, it was the same place. She goes, well, that's good because I've got to pick up my credit card. My mum had already found the purse and from the look on her face, she already knew.

Well, I mean, what else would you? Oh, no, we were organising a surprise gift. Yeah. And I grabbed it and we wrapped it together last night. Wrapped something. Imagine if she got pregnant. Anyway. They very soon after got a divorce.

But believe it or not, my relationship with my mother is not permanently ruined. I mean, didn't she say it wasn't great before? I mean, now they've got something to talk about. Yeah, they can compare notes. Something in common. Yeah. In common. Sorry.

Coincidence chat is next. Hi, this is Rick from North Carolina, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast-ers. All the links to our Patreon are in the show notes. Yep.

If you'd like to check it out, feel free. Get amongst it. Please. Kaya Shosei. Thank you so much, Kaya. Sonia Blom. Saran Rap. Was that Kaya?

Who's the guy in The Usual Suspects? Kaya Sose. Yeah. Kaya Sose. Oh, I wonder. Maybe it's a play on that. Sonia Blom, Saran Wrap, Jessica B, Kelly Harris, and Ruth Lee. Ruth Lee.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Love to see it. We can't do this podcast without people getting amongst it. So thank you very much for your support. So thank you for being part of it.. Love to see it. We can't do this podcast without people getting amongst it. So thank you very much for your support. So thank you for being part of it. And hopefully you guys enjoyed your Christmas cards. Yeah.

A little surprise for a few of our champion tapas. And we did it at random. Like we just did it because we. I thought you said, I thought you meant at random. Like we just randomly sent. Oh, no, no, no. Like champion tapas. But it wasn't like, oh, this month we'll do it.

We were just like, oh, let's send out some cards. Any excuse for us to dress the dogs up in Christmas gear. That's true. Speaking of beautiful things, like our dogs wrapped up in Christmas gear. Yeah. I have just moved to the country. For those playing along at home, Tony is three suburbs out from the middle of town.

It's the country out there. It's really not. There's trams and trains and markets and high-rise buildings and apartment buildings. I have lived. Do you have cattle in your courtyard? We have property. We have many working animals out the back.

To be honest, I've lived in – so before I lived in Richmond, which is like the last six years, I lived in the middle of Sydney. Yep. And then before that I was like living in Bunbury, which you kind of live in town or you don't. So I was living – Are you trying to claim that where you lived in Bunbury was living in the city? Because I'm going to actually have to stop you don't. Yeah. So I was living. Are you trying to claim that where you lived in Bunbury was living in the city?

Because I'm going to actually have to stop you right there. No, I don't think it's like living in the city, but you're in the thick of it. Yep. And we only ever had like small houses because that's kind of all that's there. Yeah. We lived in an apartment and stuff.

But I haven't lived in a house like for a really long time and the quiet. There are birds in my backyard that sound like a YouTube clip. Like they sound like fake because they are. It's like someone's made a YouTube audio clip of like bird noises. That goes for 30 hours. Yeah. And I keep thinking like has someone hit play on a YouTube clip and like hasn't hit stop?

So you haven't heard birds for that long? No, because it's just normally like crazy people in the city yelling, scooters, bikes, like delivery people, Uber Eats drivers. Drug deals. Yeah, like everything you could possibly imagine that isn't nature is what I've had in my ears and in my face for the last six years. And do you like the change or is it maybe you kind of get used to the chaos? It's, yeah.

I can't sleep. When it's too quiet, it does my head in. Well, you and I have talked about this before. Put the fan on. Put some music on. I actually quite enjoyed sleeping and hearing the tram going past or, you know, really early in the morning you'd kind of hear the first trucks, like, getting up and, like, starting deliveries and whatever. And it's quite a weird adjustment because also I came straight from America.

Yeah. Where, like, especially New York. New York City, yeah. It's, like, the noisiest place in the world. Would you like Mabel and I to come around in the morning and just really just make some noises? So our next door neighbours, they've got two little girls and they play like in the backyard.

And on the weekend we woke up hearing them playing in the backyard. So did you go and fucking yell at them? No, no, no. I just heard them and I was like, I haven't heard not people yelling. I need my fucking sleep, you stupid kids. Keep that up and find out what fucking happens next. Wow. God, I'm glad I'm not your neighbour if that's what you're saying.

Well, you live in the country now. Do you have a shotgun? Live in the country, that's true. Do you have a rifle on your porch? One rocking chair. It's like out in the front. But it has actually been like quite different. And a friend of mine that I used to work with,

remember when I worked at the app? Yeah. Hannah and her husband, they just moved out to Reservoir as well. And I was like, I'll have to text her. And the other day I was like at the shops and I bumped into them. Like that's the small town I'm living in now. Anyway, and so I went to that this same day. Is your coincidence, Chat, that you live in the same suburb

as someone and you bumped into them at the shops? No. Well, it is a bit actually, but it's more wholesome than that. No. So the other day I was at the shops and, well, I was actually going to the doctor and then I was like walking back past and there's this Vietnamese bakery and I was like, I'll get Torbs and I some lunch.

And I walk in there and there's a woman being served already. I walk in behind her and there's another lady at the counter who starts serving me. So there's two workers and two customers. Gotcha. I'm one of them. And then I order and she starts preparing our banh mi's and then I feel this woman like walk in behind me

and I kind of jumped out of the way and I was like, oh, I've already ordered. And she goes, oh, good on you, doll, like thank you. And instead of kind of waiting for someone to come up to her and be like, oh, yep, next, please, like something's in the oven or whatever, she walks straight up to her and be like, oh, yep, next, please. Like something's in the oven or whatever. She walks straight up to the counter and I was like, oh, my God, like there's going to be a biffo here.

And she walks up, this lovely woman, and she walks up and she goes, has anybody handed in a wallet? And I went, fuck, sweetheart, that's long gone. Good luck. I'm from the mean streets of Richmond. Yeah. There's no way that that wallet would last even a second in Richmond. Is it fair to say Reservoir maybe wouldn't last that much longer either? Don't you say horrible things about it.

I'm just asking. I'm actually new to the neighbourhood, so I don't really know yet. But I think I'm on the right side of the train tracks, if you know what I'm saying. Literally, because I think one side, but another, and I'm on the right one. Anyway, and I was like, good luck. Yeah.

And this lady working in the Vietnamese bakery, her face lights up and she goes, we do have a wallet. And she gets it from behind the counter and hands it to her like this oh my god and it's this like classic mum wallet it's like a massive black leather wallet and she and this woman she goes oh my god like i'd only just been to the bank i'd only just gotten a new driver's like because how it's not the money it's admin. The admin of having to replace a bank card, cancel the old one, whatever. Anyway, and she goes, oh, all of a sudden, so there's the two women working at the counter,

three people from the back of the bakery that are obviously like baking the actual bread. Yeah. They all walk out and they start clapping. And it is like the biggest moment of this bakery's life. And they're all like, oh, we didn't know when you'd come in to find it. Was there money in there? And the woman opens up the wallet.

She goes, no, there wasn't any money in there. But like all my cards are still here. So they're taking the money. No, no, no. She didn't have any money in there. But everything's like as she left it. And they go, oh, so what happened? And we're all gripped in this tale.

Like we're all part of it. And she goes, oh, well, I bought my lunch the other day. And I've obviously paid and like popped my wallet down or it's fallen out right in front. And she goes, did you find the wallet or did someone hand it in? And they go, someone handed it in. And we all went, oh. And she's holding the wallet like this, right?

Yeah. And she, because we've already, I've already kind of had a little interaction with her. So instantly we're on the same side. Yeah. And she turns to me and I go, oh, how lucky. And she goes, oh, I know. And she's like tapping the wallet. She can't believe it.

She's this lovely woman. Everyone in the shop is like wiping a tear out of their eye. It was beautiful. It's a Christmas miracle. It was like a really lovely moment and I'm like, how wholesome. This is what it's like living in the country. And I love it. Anyway. The country with the Vietnamese bakery.

I, one week later, I go in to the bank and I had to do some business banking. I know I don't look like I need to do any business banking, but I had to do some business banking. That's what the business bankers let you know. Because you're a woman. Exactly right. But we have a business. I know that we wouldn't say that, but we do have business banking. That's what the business bankers let you know. Because you're a woman. Exactly right. But we have a business. I know that we wouldn't say that, but we do have a business.

And they go, oh, do you mind just sitting down, wait for your appointment? I was like, yep, no worries. And I'm just standing there and all these people are walking in and out of the bank. And I see this woman in the bank. And you know when you see someone and you're not really sure how you know them and then you kind of look at each other with that squint and then you do the head tilt and you go

I know you from somewhere but I'm not sure where we both do the head tilt and then it's the lady with the wallet and she's holding the wallet in her hands and she goes to me, oh, I'm hanging on tightly. And I go, yeah, you take care. And she walks out of the bank and that's it. But it was really nice.

That was it. What about the girl that you worked with? Oh, well, I saw her. Yeah, that was like at the videos. That's okay. Oh, no, that was not related. Oh, that was a red herring. Yeah.

Yeah, that was just something that happened in the country. No, but this. I thought the girl you worked with found it and handed it in. Oh, that would be great. That's what I was waiting for. No, that didn't happen. No. Sorry.

So the coincidence is that. Is that I saw the same lady. And that she still had the wall and she was really happy about it. So hang on. To recap. Yeah, I saw the same woman twice. In the about it. Sorry, hang on. To recap. Yeah, I saw the same woman twice. In the same town. Yeah, same street.

It's the same wallet. She had it. Isn't that good? Yeah. That's what happens in the country. Yeah. Yeah. First of all, if everyone can just Google Reservoir Melbourne to see what kind of country town Tony's living in,

do yourself a favour. And also, we are going to do shit coincidence chat, although are we now? Because I reckon that's... That's not a shit... That's nice. There's a beautiful story about the wallet finding. I think it was the, why do we know each other?

And then she's clicked that I'm the wallet person that she shared this thing with. Do you know what was a little bit embarrassing? This might be also an extension of the coincidence chat. I was wearing the same outfit. Yeah. And she definitely would have noticed. What was she wearing?

Can't remember. Oh, you know, yeah, beautiful. Yeah, you're welcome. I see what you've done there. You're welcome, mate. I did recognise the wallet, though. I go, that's a mum wallet. That's what it was.

What a sweetheart. And I might just, next time I bump into her, I might be like, do you want to come around for a cuppa? Yeah, have a cup of tea, mate. Bring your togs with boiling a pig in the hot tub. That is so funny that I think I just lost a lung. Yeah, you all right over there? Have another sip of your iced oat latte.

That was very funny. Are you doing comedy now? I'm actually not, no. My ticket's to Ryan's stand-up show. No, I wouldn't have thought so. Can't read or write or talk. Or stand. This is not my area. Or stand. Yeah, none of those't have thought so. Can't read or write or talk. Or stand. This is not my area.

Or stand. Yeah, none of those things are my area. Don't appeal to me at all. I've got to love to see it here. Great. Which nothing can top that. You'll love to see it. I feel like this whole, the vibe of this.

It's very wholesome. Just a feel-good story. It's a feel-good story. I thought that was a nice story. It was a lovely story. Yeah. Michael Lemon. Oh, a bit sour.

Sorry. He's a lovely guy. He's actually the sweetest guy. You met him. Oh, a bit sour. Sorry. He's a lovely guy. He's actually the sweetest guy. You met him. Oh, sweetest. Yeah, I've met him. Michael Lemon said, my love to see it is that I got to graduate with my partner, Blake Clubberley. Remember those guys?

Blake Clubberley, yes. They both graduated on the same day together. Oh, my. Same thing? Coincidence chat. I got a doctorate in clinical psychology and Blake got his MBA. Oh, my God. God, you wouldn't mind being left in there, Will, would you?

Sounds like they're going to do all right for themselves. Blake has an MBA and he's dating a guy with a PhD. I mean, you could do worse, couldn't you? You could do worse. I am currently doing worse. Significantly worse. And here I am. That's amazing.

What's going on in your life? Well, I fucking met a girl twice. She was a lovely woman. She sounds like it. And. What was her name? I don't know. I know she's got a few quid though, because she's got that wallet.

It's huge. There must be so much money in there. Is she doing business banking or regular banking? Regular banking. Okay. Can we half share the story about you? We can. I walked into the bank.

I said, I'm here for a business banking appointment. They said, no, you're not. And I went, oh, am I, like, in the wrong place? And they said, you need to have a business to go to business banking. And I went, oh, okay. Sorry. And then you pretty womaned the shit out of them? I did pretty woman the shit out of them, yeah.

And that was pretty nice. Yeah, no, fuck it. That was working there. Anyway. You got any love to say it, mate? I do have your love to say it. That's really taken a turn. Sorry, my attitude's changed now.

You'll like this. Please. Jessica Carr. Jessica Carr. Carr, Carr, Carr, Carr. Is that a bit of a lie? No. No. No. One quick story. Nah.

Nah. One quick story. Here you go. Nah, you go first. I don't know if you remember, like a while ago, we shared handy hookups. Like, oh, I hooked up with someone so they'd put together my flatback furniture and shit like that. Jessica Carr shared this and says, when I was in my late teens, early 20s, I didn't have a great relationship with my family.

This comes back around, by the way. Didn't have a great relationship with my family and spent a lot of time. I spent a lot of nights couch surfing. So, like, you stay with a friend one night and then you go, oh, yeah, like all good. I'll stay with someone else and you find another place. One night, this is really sad. One night I had nowhere to go and messaged like a guy on Facebook

who like, you remember back in the day when you'd do that random ad? Yeah. You'd add people because you'd go, oh, we've got a mutual friend or whatever. This random guy who'd added me messaged me on Facebook. He messaged me and he said hi and was a bit flirty. And Jessica says, I didn't think he was, like, super attractive or interesting, but, like, I really needed a place to stay. And played along and hoped that he would invite me over so I'd have somewhere to sleep. And he did.

So she ended up meeting this random guy at the train station, and she's like a young 20-year-old. Meets this guy at the train station, went back to his house, didn't get murdered. Great. This is where it starts to turn around. That is always a plus, I've found. Yes, not getting murdered.

I'm actually over 30 in my life so far. Accidentally fell in love. Accidentally in love. Shrek 2. And we've been together now for 13 years. Oh, my God. We're married, and they just welcomed their fourth baby in July. Holy fuck.

Yep. Isn't that amazing? She says, handiest fucking hookup ever. You love to say it. Yeah, so they did it? Yeah. Like the first night? I don't know if they did it that first night.

I shouldn't say, but I'm guessing so. She's like, I need to buy a second night. Yeah. But four kids in 13 years. I mean, it might not have been that first night. It's going to be rough on the kids and the guy when she finds a place. She goes, yeah, I've finally found a rental that I can go to. All the best, though.

Yeah. Oh, my mum's just found her wallet. I'm out of here. No, that is a great. In the rest All the best, though. Yeah. Oh, my mum's just found her wallet. I'm out of here. No, that is a great you love to see. In the reservoir of the enemy's bakery. That is a great you love to see. Isn't that so lovely? And that, yeah, found love with each other.

How do you think he feels knowing that now, though? Yeah. Because he feels used? Yeah, not super attractive or interesting. Yeah, I just banged this fucking simp. Really needed a place to stay. I don't know. Or do you kind of just go, look, it happened that long ago.

You were 19. Hey, a place to stay in exchange for getting me end off. Maybe he sees it's a pretty good deal as well. Yeah, he's like, yeah, not that attractive. Not so bad now, is it? You know? Yeah, I'm not that attractive or good looking or interesting, but here I am with a wife and kids who's laughing.

Exactly right. I'll play those odds. Yeah, and he might not be that attractive or interesting, but he might be really great. Doesn't sound like it. Big cock, maybe. PhD. But I love to see that, actually, Jessica.

Not the big cock. They're a story. All both. Good for you. All right. Have a great day. We'll fucking douse ourselves with cold water, and we'll see you tomorrow.

You know, we might not come back tomorrow. After what's happened so far this week, it might be it. You know what I'm going to do today? What? I'm going to head to a Vietnamese bakery in Reservoir on my way home. I will take you to the best one. The best. I've been to one. There's about 20. Yeah. And I'll take you to the best one. The best. I've been to one.

There's about 20. Yeah. And I'll take you to the best one. 20 Vietnamese bakery in your small town. There's three on the one street. And I reckon that they must argue a bit. Or there might be a bit of turf war, don't you reckon? Do you reckon it's owned by the same people and that's just all a ruse?

It might be. I don't know. But there's like a community thing. Because I've been in the Facebook group for a while because I wanted to get the vibe of the area. Can you give me a vibe of this? I once saw a place that was... I thought you were just going to get your gong out and give me a vibe of this. I once saw a place that was a Chinese place that was like noodles and massage.

I like both on their own. So does your face go through that little hole and you suck the noodles up just the whole time? Yeah, like a glory hole for noodles. But you just get higher and higher off the bed because your tummy gets so full. You're just rising in the air.

I thought you meant because of the hard-on. I don't have one of those. Right now. Ah! Let's get the fuck out of here. Love you, bye. Love you, love you, love you, love you, bye. And it's for her.

Yeah, nah, get it. Yeah, nah, yeah, yeah.