Toni and Ryan - Unexpected Wedding Day Side Quests

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

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Yep. That Tapa is Tony and Ryan podcasters. I'm distracted by Nate, who's in Philly and he's living a different life to us because we go to bed very, very early. But Nate, what are you about to do after you approve today's show? I'm going to eat dinner and go out and probably drink till the hours of the morning. Having a good week and celebrating. Yeah. Oh, why?

Why do we celebrate? What's going on? I just got a promotion at work and some good news at the doctor. So I'm just like, well, might as well give them bad news down the road. Okay. I was ready to fucking celebrate. But I'll see you on Sunday morning with something real bad. Um well fuck.

The kidneys are fine but the liver's soon to not be. Alright um Nate well we approve of that. Nate that's fucking unreal. You and your lifestyle. Do you approve today's episode? Hell yeah I do. Hell yeah. Cheers to Nate.

Hey it's Nate from Philly and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Go birds. Before we officially start the show, Tony just Googled something and what was in your Google search history? The last thing that I Googled was, is Pedro Pascal single? Because I'm assuming he's watching right now and if you are then... Is that why you tried it? Yeah.

Just double check. Hey, same. Yeah. What did we find out? Hasn't dated anyone publicly for like many years, but keeps his private life quite private. So, not sure. Could be a little side piece. Who knows?

Yeah. Where in his neck of the woods the next few weeks. He could be my side piece because obviously I'm publicly engaged. Publicly engaged. We've gone to public with her. Yeah. Gone to press. Gone to press.

But privately, you and Pascal. Do you know what's so wild? Sorry, tangent. Like, back in the day when you would do like a newspaper announcement, I guess it's like Not the press, but privately, you and Pascale. Do you know what's so wild? Sorry, tangent. Like back in the day when you would do like a newspaper announcement, I guess it's like the equivalent of Instagram. But like back in the day, it would be like their families are proud to announce the engagement of like Tony and Alex or whatever.

The Lodges and the Toblerones are coming together as one. Yeah. You know, isn't that so wild? What a strange concept. Like that's crazy to me. My grandma used to open the paper to see if anyone she knew died. Yeah. Yep. That's a classic.

Oh, they've gone. But I go, how many people do you know? A lot apparently. But like, really? Yeah. Cause they didn't have, they couldn't scroll and see what people were up to. So you had to like go and meet them to find out what people are up to. Yeah, but do you really know that many people that every time you open the paper, you think

you might know someone? Depends how many people are dying. Is it cold outside? What season? It actually is getting colder. Yeah. Rug up or I hate to. The frost is coming.

Yeah. Oh, Tony Lodge, Cause of Death, Crisp Evening. It could take your breath away sometimes, isn't it? Yeah. People, including tarpers, Tony and Ryan podcasters, I listen to the show, are doing random sidequests on their wedding days. I love that. Yeah.

I think we can all be inspired and surprised, but mainly inspired. And this isn't a have a go at anyone. No, we would never. But there's a, there's a midget, you know. But so with the side quest, do you mean like, oh, picking up the flowers that morning or do you mean like- This is my definition of a side quest. Please.

Because sometimes things go wrong and it's like, oh, we didn't plan on doing this and blah, blah, blah. But no, this is like a, we thought about what we wanted to do and we've made a decision to go and do this. And it's not, oh, and then, oh, we might do a family photo because obviously pretty normal. Yep. Yeah. Tapa Jessica recently got married to her husband, Ben. Congratulations. Congratulations, Jessica and Ben. Jess and Ben's wedding day had a bit of a random side quest.

Yeah. We mentioned it yesterday on the show, but there's always like a little bit of downtime between the ceremony during the day and like the reception at night. And sometimes it's time for a drink on the way or, but other times there's a long one. And I think- Especially when they're, sorry to cut you off, but like different locations. How good is it when you go to a wedding and they go, it's all in one place. So you go, great.

I can settle into the one spot we are. Oh, the best. That's a real treat. So Ben normally plays soccer for Launceston city on a Saturday afternoon, a little local league in Northern Tasmania. Oh no, that's Liverpool. I was like, they just won like that huge thing. Launceston, the third biggest town in Hobart, just won the Premier League.

Where I just was. He's like, oh, Liverpool, Launceston. Yeah, sorry. I got really excited then. I was like, oh my God, tell Liam Stapleton that Ben listens to the podcast, but it's all good. So normally he'd be playing football. On a Saturday or whatever. But obviously this week he can, well probably not. Well yeah, because I mean, in the morning, you're getting your suit on and then you're getting married. You're getting massed.

It turns out the time they secured at the church was early in the day, like real early, and the reception was not till later at night. So on their wedding day, here's a little excerpt from the local newspaper. Oh, he had to be there. He's the goalie. He's the goalie. They didn't have a goalie. Oh, well they don't have a backup. Yeah. So the photo I'm holding up, if you're listening to the pod, is the whole team, including him in there and Tapa Jessica in her wedding dress. With her little like fur on

cause it was probably fucking freezing. Pretty fresh at the launch, I don't know what I thought. That is iconic. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Could you imagine if he got hurt? I love that she got around her. Yeah. I just keep thinking if he got hurt.

Oh, I didn't even know. He rolls his ankle. You fucking loser too, I'm saying. Yeah, something. I'm just thinking about how pissed you'd be you had to wear that dress all day. Yeah. Like, because I can't imagine it would be that comfy. It's probably quite heavy and like hard to go to the bathroom.

And you'd be like, oh, should we stop and get a cheeseburger? You go, well, no, I can't squirt any tomato sauce onto this dress because I don't have a Tide pen to get it out before the fucking reception later. One day we might do a separate segment. So I said to people, well it was your random side quest on your wedding day. We could do a whole segment on Maccas runs, but all different time. And one person, there's this iconic shot, the photographers in the car behind them in the drive-through and they're driving an old classic beautiful car with no top and they're ordering like a cheesy?

That is so cute. That's really cute. Tony, would you? That's really sweet. Tony, that's really sweet. I think it's like the beauty in the everyday kind of vibe that it's like you've made something special that you're like, oh, cheeky cheeseburger on the way through. I just love it.

Let me try and find that photo real quick. Because that is so fucking cute. Oh, that is so sick. Iconic. That is really cool. Would you do that? Get Maccas on the way back to my wedding or whatever. I reckon we should get. I'd get someone else to get it.

I reckon you should get married at a McDonald's. Get married at a McDonald's. I reckon you should. I don't think I'd get married at a McDonald's. You say that and we'll put it on the screen and people can Google it themselves. You know the Maccas at Clifton Hill, how it's a like really old- Oh, it's like a heritage building. Yeah, but like some people, like a professional photographer has gone and got like beautiful shots on a beautiful day.

Absolutely. And it just, you kind of go, oh, yeah, like I can, I can see that. Yeah. You know, you know, that matters. There is not much parking. No. So that's the limo drivers problem. The limo?

I'll pay for your limo on your wedding day. I don't really want one. Oh, so you want to park your own car at the limited parking space? Okay. I'll just get an Uber. Taylor. Hi, Taylor. We had a bit of time to kill between the ceremony and reception.

So hubby and I hit the pokies and we won a bunch of cash. Okay. So there was like a club downstairs in Pokeys and the hotel, they were above it. They were like, oh, we got it now. Should we go down and you know? Have a slap. Have a slap and they won.

And then we were late to the reception says Taylor, cause we couldn't figure out how to get the money out of the slot machine. Cause you know, like a printed ticket, you gotta take it to the fucking thing. Yeah, you gotta take it to the guy. So they were late to the thing and they're like, oh, what happened?

Everything around, she's like, oh, fuck it. Hundred bucks motherfucker. That's awesome. Fuck. Yeah. Um, I reckon there'd be a few people that had done that, especially like, Oh, we got married in Vegas or something like that. That's pretty fun.

So in 2014, what's that? 11 years ago now, Hawthorne won the Premiership. Amazing. Now this couple in Perth, Hawks fans, a year earlier just went, "'Yep, we'll get married next year, September.'" Beautiful springtime in Perth. Didn't really think that it would be Grand Final Day.

And even if it was, what's the chances your team's gonna be in the big game? But also, you wanna watch it anyway though. Like even if your team's not playing it's still like, yeah. And how do I know this story? Because I was in Perth in 2014 when Hawthorne won the grand final and I went to a sports bar in the casino to watch the game. And that's me with the happy couple.

Oh my god, that is so funny. So what they did is they got married before the game started. Cause like, well the Hawks are in the grand final, we can't miss the game. So they got married in the morning before the game started and they went to the sports bar to watch the granny. Hawks have a win, they're like, sweet, let's hit the floor and then we'll go to dinner later. Cause the time difference, the grand finals are like midday in Perth.

And that's me with them. That is amazing. And I go, can I get a photo? And they go, fuck yeah. I love that you got your hawk scarf on and stuff. Yeah. That is so fun. Oh, do you remember their names? No, I don't. I don't. I hope they're still together.

Yes. I actually, when I found that photo last night, I was like, I wonder how those guys are going. Yeah. Oh, that's such a great story. Yeah. My mom and dad, between ceremony and reception once, they were in the city and they're like, oh, well, what should we do? And they bought a Dyson.

They bought vacuum cleaner. Fuck. That actually is exciting. Yeah, and they bought a Dyson. Had they been doing their research previously? They read the reviews? No, just think that they were, and it was like back before handheld Dysons, it was like one of the upright, like, ball ones.

Did it have the thing where you could push the button and it would self-retracted the cord? Yeah, it did have that. Yeah, but that was first of its kind, you know, that wasn't really a thing then. I'm talking, this was probably in like 2001 or 2000, like very long time ago. A big year for vacuums. And my mom like wasn't a drinker.

So she would always drive. Her addiction was vacuum cleaning. No, well, so like dad drove there and mom drove. So they had the car. So the Dyson was just in the back of the car like during the wedding. Isn't that the weirdest thing you've ever thought about? Like they're inside having fun and out in the 2000 series Land Cruiser out the front there's a Dyson in the back.

Could probably under a blanket or something. Oh, don't even want to pinch our Dyson. It probably cost him a thousand bucks. Like that was really expensive. There goes the honeymoon. Yeah, it wasn't their wedding. Oh. They were guests at a wedding.

Did anyone else think it was their wedding? No, it wasn't their wedding. Did you skip it? I think you skipped over that part. I'm assuming your mom is in her wedding dress. Your dad did his suit and they go, fuck, we got an out of kill, should we go get a Dyson? Sorry, that's what my...

Hold on, how have I not heard this story before? Talking about wedding side trips. Did you not mention that 10 minutes ago? Yeah, I got one. I don't have anything. I don't have anything. Sorry, sorry. I didn't have anything. Sorry.

Sorry. So I checked savings and credit and you go, sorry my fails. Yeah. To my face. Sorry. No, it was wedding gifts. Did your mom and dad have the same name in the end? Oh yeah, they were both called Liz.

Like Lodge. No, it was like the first time you make a purchase. They got married before I was born. So this is like. But the first purchase you make after getting married, you've got a new name on your card. Oh, Tony Toblerone. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

The card says my old name. When did you get married? And she goes, when do you reckon? Look what I'm wearing. When do you reckon? Prove to me you're married. Well. I'm wearing. When do you reckon? Prove to me you're married. Well... I'm wearing the dress, sweetheart. Yeah.

You don't suspect I just put this dress on to come and get the wedding day sale, did you? Because we would never. The sweetheart sale on the Dyson. Newlywed special. Wedding day only, 15% off. We couldn't be newer wed. Find someone newer wed than me. The ink is still wet. In the scod free store.

In the scod free store! Oh that's funny. You go and consummate the wedding, you're like, what? Got to Dyson out if you know what I mean. They go, oh yeah, no, I's funny. You go and consummate the wedding and like, what? Got a Dyson out if you know what I mean? Oh yeah, no, I get it. The guy standing there with the bowling ball in the thick. She might be married but it still sucks, you know what I'm saying?

That is my mother! Everyone go listen to yesterday's episode and go fuck yourself! Hey, it's Nate from Philly and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by our and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone, not adding anybody, but that maybe takes a

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and Maduree has the nicest fine jewellery. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know these gold earrings that I wear?

They're a jury. Oh. And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I'm a jewelry person now. Yes. I'm a majore person now.

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Plus in 2020, the brand launched the Maduri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. So they're doing good while helping us look good. Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on madury.com. I'm as a shout out to a few of our champion topics

over at our Patreon. We have heaps of exclusive stuff over at our Patreon if you want to check it out. If you love this, you'll love that. Happy Tiger Girl, thank you very much. Chris Watts, Simone Riggs, bit of a rig on her. Bridie Crow, Hayley Buckley and Hayley Donovan. Thank you very much. And also you're seeing, if you're watching on YouTube,

the names scrolling across the bottom. That's every tier of Patreon imaginable. All three of them. All three of them. So I've just had a, people might have seen this, but I needed to burp and then tried to do it quietly and then remembered it's a video show. Oh, so you couldn't just like. Yeah.

But then instead of it like coming out and making noise, I tried to do it internally and then my cheeks just like as the... Yeah. And then I went, there's a... It's unfiltered. And that all just happened in the last 30 seconds. I was working. And then did a little... You know, so I'm embarrassed.

I missed the whole thing. I know. That's a shame. Because you were busy holding the fort down. Holding down the fort. Like you always do. The muscles of this show carrying me. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves because I want to talk about my pubes. Tony wants to talk about pubes, everyone.

Everybody has body hair. We were all born with hair on our bodies. Let's start with this. Was this addressed in the Barbie movie? Because I feel like if a bunch of people aren't, it's them. Don't have hair on their bodies. Let's start with this. Was this addressed in the Barbie movie? Because I feel like if a bunch of people aren't, it's them. Don't have hair on their bodies. Like Ken is just... Yeah, smooth, up and down. Yeah, not a single bit of body hair. Yeah. No, so... I wish I was Ken. No, you don't. You're way better than Ken. I'm hairier than Ken. Yeah. Sorry, I've also prepared for this break and I'm also like not feeling good about myself. Nah, no, no, no, it's all good.

So basically it's actually a very serious question. How did you know that your pubes were too long? Like when did you know? And I'm not saying this in like, oh, I like hooked up with someone and it was all, I don't, I mean like when was it an OHHS issue because what job do I have? This one. Okay. Um, because I think that like people are, oh, it was like a bit hairy and I didn't

feel that comfortable about actually so valid, but that's not what I need. You're like, no, it's like, come on, mate. Yeah. You've been too comfy for too long. It's been a long winter. Come on. Well, but not even like, oh, maybe they're a bit long as in to look or whatever.

I mean like, when did you know? Because something has happened to me and I wanted to do this anonymously. And Ryan said no. No, you put your name to it. Andously and Ryan said no. No, you put your name to it. And so I am. Yep. But something happened to me and I just, I, I'm actually like, this is pretty embarrassing.

Okay. It's a vulnerable moment and I'm here to support you. Are you picking a hair out of your mouth? No. That's fucked. Cause it's so much worse than that. Are you picking a hair out of your mouth? No. That's fucked. Cause it's so much worse than that. As you know, every night to bed.

No, everyone knows this. Everyone knows. I wear a nightie to bed every night and just nightie. Sorry. You get, it's actually not about to happen. My imagination is just running wild. Times up by about five, seven thousand because. I don't know how to behave right now.

No, I'm not sure. Are you looking for support? Are you looking for the giggling 11 year old boy? All actually fine. Like, I'm not going to tell you how to behave, but this is just something has happened that unprecedented unprecedented times, like crazier than COVID. That's...

Conspiracy Jason, sorry. Okay. Did my grandpa die during your pubes? Oh my God. I need you to actually have a bit of a refresh. Yeah, okay. So I was asking. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So I was asking. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Okay. As everybody knows, I sleep at nighttime with an ID on and that's it. No undies because someone's nan told me when I was like five, like you gotta let your bum breathe at nighttime. So don't wear knickers to bed. It's like one of those things,

everyone's mom or grandma tells them that when they're a kid and like I've done it ever since. I woke, I drink done it ever since. I woke, I drink heaps of water, heaps of water and I woke up in the middle of the night needing to do a wee. During the night in my slumber, my pubes, which are long, had kind of... It's just, it's not even going the way that you think. Is it the going the way of your hands are gesturing? Cause that's just- My pubes had combined and combed like forward

into this little mohawk. And so the pubes from both sides of the flaps had combined, rendering my pussy flaps closed, ultimately, at the end of the day. Like a bridge. So yeah, like a bridge, this little like, whoop. I sat down on the toilet and because that's, it's night time,

so I sat maybe a little bit too, bit further forward. Basically what happened is the we traveled up the pubic spout and onto the floor. Onto the bath mat. Up the pubic spout. Here is my handle, here is my pubic spout. Yes. When I get all steamed up. Sorry, big song at our home at the moment.

Hopefully not. Which is now ruined, obviously. So the Wii has traveled up and over and onto the floor. So you've just pissed forward straight off the front of the... Because the pubes just created this straw and what I'm imagining is gravity has... Force, gravity. Yeah. Would you say it was...

Like a siphon. Your pubes kind of created like a water slide. Fourth, gravity. Yeah. Would you say it was- Like a siphon. Your pubes was kind of created like a waterslide. What do you think a spout is if nothing else? It is just a waterslide for people. So- And that's when you knew it's probably time. It's probably time.

And you know when you get up to do a wee in the middle of the night, you like try and stay as asleep as possible. And I'm like, well, I can't ignore that. Oh, you probably could. Nah, well, I'm- That sounds like a tomorrow problem. Nah, I, and- Yeah, nah, yeah, you're right. You know? So then I had to jump in the shower.

Thanks everyone. Luckily it wasn't on my nightie, because obviously I'd like hoitch that up around me boos. Oh, because that would be the worst part of all of this. Oh, if then my pajamas were dirty. Yeah. Can you imagine? What a pain in the ass. Yeah. Can I, it's not the worst thing I've imagined in the last.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? So then I had to jump in the shower and then I had to, like the next day, then like wash the bath mat, obviously. And yeah. Um, so I just, like, when did you know that your pubes were too long? Was it this year that you called yourself a lawn queen? See, I've been paying too much attention to outdoors.

Been mowing the wrong lawn. Yeah. Fuck, dude. How do you feel now, like now a few days have passed? I'm embarrassed still. I don't want to tell you how to live your life. Have you like taken on that and like... What are you asking?

Is the bridge still standing? It is actually because, because I just was like, well, I need to deal with that. And I just haven't, cause then I had to wash the bath. Now I was like, you know, yeah, but you know, it's Friday now. So maybe tomorrow I treat myself. Oh, a little weekend trip.

Yeah. Take a while. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's that's an everything shower. Yeah. So, yeah, that's a that's a good like pub question. You know, when you're like those questions you have just for people at the pub. Like what pubs you go to do? That could be one people try out this weekend. Yeah. How did you know your pubes were too long? So in today's episode thread, the YouTube comments,

maybe if people have a tail, do you have a time, Ryan, come to mind when did you know your pubes were too long? Yeah, but do we just need your moment to just be a moment for a bit? Like just today- No, because I think I need you to come and help me. Oh, okay.

So like if we're both embarrassed, then we're're right, I thought you would think it was funny and you're kind of looking at me with pity in your eyes and I thought I thought I asked how you wanted me to respond. No, I know and I didn't know but now that you're looking at me with pity I'm like well no it's not sad it's like no I just funny. As someone who As someone who also has to get up to pee in the night, I know that all you want is to pee and go back to bed and forget it ever happened. But, and cause you just try and stay asleep. I don't want consequences, I don't want extra admin, I don't want tasks to complete. Yeah.

I don't want to be reminded of my lack of self admin. Yeah. I just want to- Cause all of a sudden, a simple way turned into a calamity of errors. Obviously the title of the episode. Um, do you have a story? Do you want like a story to like, to feel like we're in this together? Yeah.

Fuck. If you have one, if you don't have one. No, I do, but I wish I didn't. Oh, see. Oh, I can't wait to look at you with pity in my eyes. No, all good. Oh! No, all good.

Fuck, I hate this. Oh, you know what will help? Do you want to do it anonymous? Say someone sent it in. No, I need a, you are brave. I thank you so much. And I need to support your bravery and be brave myself. You know, I'm a brave girl.

You know how pubic hair like gets curly? Yeah. What? No, like gets curly. Yeah. What? No, like, yeah. So you know- I'm so glad I'm now on the other side of this. Yeah. So you know how if you just like... You know if you just like having to scratch around and whatever.

I'm like, if you were to like pull at it, it would like uncurl. You know? Yeah. And so I guess what I'm saying is when you like pull at it and uncurl it, you realize like it's a lot longer than you thought because when it's curled it's like... Yeah! Coiled up! It's like a nest! I'm so sad!

I'm actually crying because of the shame that I'm about to say. the shame that I'm about to say. I just let me text you. No, you just need to say it. I don't want to say this out loud, but just rip the bandaid off. We don't need to see our photo. Yeah, you won't be getting mine. Oh my god.

Oh my god. When you uncoil it, Yeah. If the hair is longer than your dick is, that's when you know. Now for me, I don't have that long. Other people, they might have more time. But that's when you know. That's when you know.

You're a bit... It had been coiled. Georgia started this week. Thanks for coming in, G. Okay. The ratio is off. Soft or hard? I said I was playing. If your pubes are longer than your pain, it's time. Oh, you look disgusted. Why aren't you laughing? No, no.

It's a good rule of thumb. That's awesome. Oh, don't say thumb. How could he laugh? Just say it here. Are we not talking? Are we just gonna? Oh, no, we can keep going. I don't want to. How long was it?

About two and a half inches. No, not the hair. Say these jelly beans. A bit longer than one of those. So the jelly beans compared to that plant is what we're dealing with. This is what it looks like. Welcome to Ryan's anatomy class. And I want to use the green one.

Oh pink, that's nice. Not orange. I'll be turning. Yeah, don't use blue. No. This was just an excuse for Ryan to eat a jelly bean off you okay yeah yeah yeah and so what happened with me no yeah spout so if Spout. Like that. Do you want a jelly bean? No thanks. So if you've got a similar story,

or you just want to maybe say whether mine was worse or Ryan's was worse. Hang on, whose is worse? I don't think it was mine. I piss on the floor. Yeah. I didn't piss anywhere in my story. Because of a pubic water spout.

That's pretty fucking bad. That's pretty fucking bad. That's pretty fucking bad. Oh, well, like, don't be nasty about it. I'm not, I'm just saying it's pretty bad. I've got your love to see it here and I really- I don't love to see anything. I really wish I had a different your love to see it because this one's- It's good, but- Do you want me to do a cleansing one?

I think not. Because mine is actually the perfect one I feel like yours might need if we need a cleanse it might be after this do you know what like should we get all the bad shit out and then cleanse at the end mine's not a you just said mine could cleanse us but it's just like it's a no I meant more just okay we'll go thanks to God I trust you I don't thanks to we'll go. Thanks to Guy. I trust you. I don't. Thanks to Guy Carter for bringing this to my attention. He's a tarpies legend.

Hi Guy. Sorry. Hi Guy. The middle aisle at Aldi always has random items. Yep. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it misses. Yep. And sometimes it fucking hits.

Please look at your phone. Oh, blowjob stool, hairy, you know, coiled maybe. A little blowjob stool. So is that for sitting on to give the blowjob or to receive the blowjob? I assume to give just because the height of the stool but then I know yeah what would you say Tony? I think as the an avid sucker of dicks well um I think both I mean mix it up. Yeah, yeah Bring some spice into the I wouldn't that be nice sitting on to the bare butt though. No, no Get no with my pubes. Oh, yeah, you don't know great together

You don't know where Tony's cubes ends and the the gray stool starts exactly right? No, I was in the cleanser at all. If not, really I'm gonna do my best to this on nice I may love to see is from with this one though. Please. My love to see is from Amethyst Bailey who sent this through on Patreon. Amethyst says, Hi, I did hair for 24 years. So tiny by the sound of it. And was an exclusive Kevin Murphy hair salon and educator for the brand. Now if anybody remembers only fairly recently, we shared a confession. Do you want to play the real here? Play the brand. Now if anybody remembers only fairly recently we shared a confession.

Do you want to play the reel here? Play the video. I was staying in a fancy hotel. Nice. And I was in the very fancy bathtub feeling very fancy and sexy and I decided to put the fancy shampoo bottle inside me and it got stuck. Ah, ah, where? After some panicked attempts to retrieve it, I put the fancy robe on and went down to the fancy lobby to ask the staff. No, use the phone! Use the phone! That's what the phone's for!

The staff was super professional but clearly didn't believe me when I said it was an accident. The paramedics took me back up to my room where I lay on my back on the bed legs akimbo and they like were in there trying to remove it. The shampoo at the QT in Sydney is Kevin Murphy and that's a very big square bottle so when I'm thinking like what could I shove into my pussy never have I personally not to yuck anyone's yum but never have I personally gone I'll go for something oblong I will get the Kevin Mitchell up there Murphy I'm thinking of Paul Mitchell no you're thinking of Kevin James the guy from Mall Cop I have never thought of getting the King and Queens of queens inside. Ah! Ah! Ah! Did you poop? Did you poop? I'm gonna have to go check.

I'm so sorry. I think I've just shit my pants. I'm so sorry. She's left. She's left. Um, so there isn't any Vegemite on the roll. Oh! But the jar is full. You know what I'm saying? Oh really?

So, anyway, thanks Amethyst for reminding us of that. But Amethyst said, I actually know Kevin Murphy and his partner. So I messaged the clip about- The Shave and Queens? I messaged the clip about the shampoo bottle that we just watched to Kevin's husband, Louis, who was dying laughing apparently and said Kevin had already heard about it and had been sent the video many times. So a huge shout out to Kevin Murphy. Oh, a huge shout out to everyone sending him the video.

Thank you very much for sharing the good word. And sending that on to Kevin Murphy. So pretty cool. Is he looking to hire some ambassadors for the brand? I'm not sure. I might stay in touch with Amethyst and see where we get to. Yeah. How's everyone feeling?

I wonder if he's still cutting hair, cause I could... What salon are they at? No, they said they did hair a 24 years. So I don't know if they're doing any. Come out of retirement for a special course. I'll talk to Amethyst. Bring the big scissors. Team haircut. Yeah. Yeah, no, she can do both of us. Yeah, short back and sides. I will be back on Monday. That's actually the last episode of Tony and Ryan. If you're watching on YouTube,

we actually do an episode every single day of audio. So Monday to Thursday, there's episodes. Yeah, you can get more of that, I guess. Yeah. No, and why wouldn't you want to? So love that for you, but see you Monday. Love you. Love you. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone, not adding anybody, but that maybe takes a million photos of maybe, you know, the cutest little girl in the world and their camera roll is just overflowing with pictures you don't know what to do with? There is smoke coming out of my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel

struggling to fit in my phone. I meant the prettiest little girl ever. I obviously meant my phone. And my coworker, Tony Lodge. Because filled with the prettiest little girl in the world, my little Frenchie Pippa. I thought you meant you. All my selfies.

I actually thought you meant you. All my selfies. Look, if you're someone that takes lots of photos and they're just sitting in your phone doing nothing, this is for you. Yes, Aura Frames is so good and it does exactly what you've just described. Instead of letting all your best photos waste away on your phone, you can display them in a stylish, high quality digital frame. And they kind of just like flick through. How good is that? So good. And they're not just any frame. Aura Frames was named the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter and honestly I get it. I get it. It would be a great gift for a loved one and they've got

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That's A U R A frames dot com. Use promo code TONYANDRYAN, T O N I A N D R Y A N, terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Audible where you can listen to the new audiobook Sunrise on the Reaping by best selling author Suzanne Collins. So this is for all the fantasy and hunger games fans, because this is about the backstory from Katniss's mentor, Haymitch. Katniss, what a badass. Badass.

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