Toni and Ryan - Unspoken Instagram Law

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

TODAY IS THE DAY - WE START LIVESTREAMING AT 9AM AEST INSIDE PATREON WISH US LUCK!!!!! Love u xx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm here with Dr. Author, bestselling author, Dr. Tony Lodge. I'm with Father Ryan, which makes you sound like a priest, but I just mean that you're a dad. Thank you for clarifying, because I don't know if you've read the newspapers in the last 15 years. I don't know if you've... Yeah, no, okay. Let's call Ohio. Oh, say Ohio. Let's call Megan. Don't say that. Oh, Megan.

It's going to be Megan, definitely, if they're American. Don't do the Ohio thing to her. Oh, okay. Or do you want to – do you feel good about it? Do you know what I'll do? I'll do it at the end. I'll say Obio. What's in your Instagram, Obio?

Hello? Hello, Megan? Yes? Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. Oh, my gosh hi hi have we surprised you were you expecting our call today i was but i completely forgot about oh my god i'm gonna cross my family i'm sorry i completely forgot you guys were gonna call that's right it's actually our fault because when we were supposed to call you my wife selfishly went into labor and we had to postpone. So that's on us.

I know. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Thank you, Megan. I appreciate the congratulations. People are really forgetting about me in this situation. Yeah. Congratulations, Tony.

You're becoming Godmother. Thank you. Yeah. Congratulations. Megan, will you approve this podcast? Oh, my gosh. Yes, I will. Luckily, she said yes. We sprung it on her. Yes, I will. Luckily, she said yes.

We sprung it on her. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll let you go. So, Obio. Because you're from Ohio. Yeah, nice. Yeah.

Because you're from Ohio. Yeah. So, yeah. That got the response it deserved. Fuck me. All right. Hi, this is Megan from Ohio, and I approve this podcast. All right, the live stream starts at 9 a.m. today.

Here we fucking go. It starts today, and coming up, we'll sort of debrief, we'll get ready. We'll also announce what the code word is going to be, which is obviously like more of a safe word. It sounds like a sex thing. Yeah. But more of a, you know, it's going to be tough and we're going to need a word that kind of means give me a minute. This is going to be like a test of our relationship, isn't it?

Yeah. We're in the best way. I'm actually like, you know how leading up to something, if you're really anxious, but then like when you have to do it, you've got like a't it? Yeah. We're in the best way. I'm actually like, you know how leading up to something, if you're really anxious but then like when you have to do it, you've got like a clear mind? Yeah. I feel like that this morning. You're clear.

I think I've got a clear mind and I'm ready to go into the live stream and I just wanted as like a personal challenge, it's the same with the Taylor Swift tickets. I actually just wanted to beat the beast. Yeah. I didn't get Taylor Swift tickets though. This is a little bit different. I hope so.

I hope it's a different outcome. We'll get to that soon. Far out. But just quickly though, Tarpa Leah has written in. Hi, Leah. Is this Leah Harris, our friend Leah? No. No.

No. I mean, she's our friend Leah. Yeah. But just not our friend Leah Harris. Oh. When I follow someone on Instagram, I give them about 24 hours to follow me back, and if they don't, I'll unfollow them and probably hold a grudge against them forever.

Oh, that's fucking brutal, 24 hours. You don't always see your notifications when they pop up. Tony, how do you – because I feel like you've got more of a tab on where people are up to in terms of following you back. Oh, I don't have a tab. Yeah. Because if you follow someone and then they follow you back, it comes up as like a priority notification because it's like Instagram goes,

you know this person. True or false, when Alison Roman came in and we took her some photos and she commented on stuff, did you or did you not refresh for the next 36 hours waiting for her to follow you back? Yeah, I did. I did. And it was probably longer than 36 hours. I felt like, you know when you go on a date,

and this is fucking scroll your mind all the way back, you go on a date and you're like waiting for them to call you back and you feel like sick and, a bit obsessed with it. Yeah. That's how I felt. And it didn't happen. She didn't call me back. So I think why I.

And I messaged her the other day. Didn't get anything back. You messaged her? Yeah. Because she did this real cool thing. So I, like, replied to her story. I didn't, like, raw dog message her. Yeah.

But she saw it. She saw it. Yeah. Is that better or worse? That's probably worse, eh? I don't know. But I'm just like, whatever. All good.

All good. You don't make a big deal about people not following you, but you do make a big deal about when, like, hence when we started talking about the dot comrades. Yeah. You're like, oh, yeah, we're mates. Like, it is a big, like, yeah, you're welcome to the family. I think so because I am probably because of the way that I use Instagram.

Yeah. I don't follow a lot of people because if my feed's too busy, I get very overwhelmed. Right. So I think that when people like follow me, I like I'm really humbled by that. Yeah. Like this is everybody. This is not just like people that I know or whatever.

Like the fact that people want to follow me is like wild to me. Yeah. Like this is everybody. This is not just like people that I know or whatever. Like the fact that people want to follow me is like wild to me. Yeah. Because I'm such a boring bitch. Okay. No, no, no feedback there. No, no, no. No, that's right. That's okay.

You're not a boring bitch. You know you're not a boring bitch. But so I feel like real. And then when there's other people that i know slash respect or like enjoy following i'm like oh my god and now to know that i've got a fucking there's a clock ticking on people following me is very stressful so our live stream kicks off today and our video what are we up to fucking 97 hours 62 i'll probably yeah 63. Fuck. Our video guy, Franco, is staying with us in the live stream house the whole time. And he tagged me in an Instagram story being, you know, he's getting all the gear ready

because he's taking care of all the tech side of things and like he's getting excited and stuff. And so I looked at the story. I click on the story, click on his profile. I'm not following Franco. What? I don not following Franco. What? I don't follow him. You were invited to his wedding. As a last, after a last minute cancellation. Oh, sorry. Do you not care that you were invited at all?

It wasn't nice. I'll be it. Late invitation. No, what the fuck? Are you serious? Yeah, but I was shocked as well. I wasn't like, well, of course I don't. But I was like, I just assumed that I did.

So obviously you hit follow immediately as soon as you realised. Well, here's the thing. Oh, no. If you follow him now, it'll be a priority because he follows you. Yeah. Oh, the notification will go right to the top. So if I follow him, he'll get notified that I'm following him. Do you know what we'll do?

What? I'll take his phone today. Okay. Right? Yep. I'll take his phone. You hit follow. I'll refresh it and delete the notification.

And just get it down. And just get it down. And then I'll go back and like everything he's ever posted. But then no notifications. Yeah, that's okay. Because it'll just be like, oh, Franco, I'm so in love with you. Because he knows that. He does know that.

And I've actually said that when he and his wife, Jessie, for whatever reason that doesn't work out, I'll slide right in there. Yeah, actually said that a bit too, because you've said that many times. And usually I feel like you need. I think Jess knows. Yeah, but I also think you need to, like, be a bit sadder for Jess's death. Well, no one's assuming she's died. No, but you just, like, glaze over, like, oh, something bad happens. Great. Oh, yeah. But that's death. Well, no one's assuming she's died. No, but you just like glaze over like, oh,

if something bad happens, great. Oh, yeah. But that's okay. You have to be just for a moment go, oh, it would be so sad. And then say. Then you can kiss. Yeah. Yeah.

But don't forget the moment of, oh, damn. It's like the, like at the Logies when they do the like gracious loser face, they go. Yeah. Be a gracious, your wife died. Yeah. And then fuck him. Great thought.

Thank you. But I could do that and then the notification will be buried in, like. Great call. We could do that. So the reason I didn't follow was because of the notification. Yeah. And then I was like, is it an ignorance is bliss? Would he just assume that I do?

Probably. Because when was the last time you, like, clicked followers and searched all your friends up and go, oh, good, glad to see you still follow me? When was the last time you did that? I don't think I've ever done that. Because that would be horrifying. Yeah. I don't want to know the answer.

Do you know when people say, like, oh, I'd love to be able to read minds? Keep your fucking thoughts to yourself. I can't think of anything worse. They're like, hey, Tony, you stupid bitch. I don't fucking know that. I don't want to know that. I can't think of anything worse. Hey, Tony, you stupid bitch. I don't fucking know that. I don't want to know that. I don't want to be Mel Gibson. And also, people's thoughts are their own business.

Yeah, I don't want to know. I think some weird shit just because when your brain wanders. I'd love to know your thoughts. You do think of some weird shit. I do think of weird shit. Some kooky shit. But it's mine. Some weird sex stuff.

But it's mine. The same way that your brain brain is like your private area that you want to fuck me and that's okay. Damn it, she got me. But you know what I mean? Yeah. That's their business. When people say they want to read minds, fuck,

I can't think of anything worse. I thought I wouldn't follow him because of that ignorance is bliss. Maybe he just assumes I do and whatever. And here's the other thing to keep in mind. I thought I wouldn't follow him because of that ignorance is bliss. Maybe he just assumes I do and whatever. And here's the other thing to keep in mind. As we go into a 62-hour live stream in the same house, is now the time to have that awkward chat. I just want to flag one other thing,

is that today's episode is a video show. Yeah. So Franco will, like, people are watching and listening to this episode right now. Franco edits this. Does he still do the Friday ones? Yeah. Yep. So he'll actually.

I thought Cam, don't you edit? No, Franco does the audio. Oh, so you do the audio? I do the audio. So that's the only thing. So basically whatever you've already said has already been heard by Franco. It's on the stick. We don't have much on today, do we?

Can we start this show again? I mean, save the content. We've got fucking 100 hours to fill. Yeah. You know. But I think that maybe right now would be a great opportunity for you to say something to Franco and be like, let's sweep it under the rug.

Like maybe you could very quickly just say a little speech to Franco. Franco. Beautiful. You know I could very quickly just say a little speech to Franco. Franco. Beautiful. You know I love and respect you as a person. I love and respect your work and I would be sad for at least a minute if your wife died before I fucked you. That's lovely. That's really nice.

And then do you want to say something about the Instagram thing as well? And I would love to follow you in life in general and then also on Instagram. He'd follow now. No, because I'll wait. He'd follow now. No. He'd follow now.

He'd follow now. No, because I need him to see this because he'll get the notification before he gets the footage. Unlike Sex and the City, this doesn't all happen in real time. Fuller. I was just listening to the show. No, I'll wait until he's seen this. And I don't know why I'm not following him.

What if it's so – you follow everyone. Yeah, except Franco. Yeah. You know, the other day I was looking at a girl I used to dance with, like we used to do ballet together. Excuse me? Hot. Yeah.

Just keep your thoughts to yourself. Yeah yeah we used to do ballet together we used to go to the same like ballet school and um it came up like you know when you go to someone's profile and it says like um blah blah and 12 others follow this person so if it's like someone you've got mutual friends with you see all the people that also follow and it literally said like ryan john follows this person i was like you don all the people that also follow them. And it literally said like, Ryan, John follows this person. And I was like, you don't know her. And then I was like, oh, it's just because I know that you used to do that. You'd be like, oh, thanks so much for following the show.

You follow everyone back. Can't do that anymore, obviously. Why not? Well, it would just be impossible. What do you mean? Is there like a limit to how many people you can follow? Oh, there isn't a date. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. But, there is in a – yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, but – and I was like, oh, that's really nice, but you don't even follow Franco. Well, he probably didn't live – Baby Franco. Little Franco. So did she live in Perth? Yeah.

Yeah, so she must have been like a Heidi Xavier Ryan listener. That's what I assumed, yeah. And I was like, oh, that's really – but I was like, oh, do you guys know it? Because I was like, am I being Perthed? Yeah, you're being Perthed. In like the craziest way. And then I was like, oh, that's really it. But I was like, oh, do you guys know it? Because I was like, am I being perched? Yeah, you're being perched. In like the craziest way. And then I was like, oh, no, I know that you used to do that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. No, we're great mates. What's her name again? Caitlin. Oh, me and Caitlin. Oh, yeah. Way back.

Yeah. How's she doing? She's great. Great. She's actually really doing well. That is good to hear. Yeah. Especially given her.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't know. She's really good to hear. Yeah. Especially given her. Yeah. You don't know. She's really good. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I think that you've got to follow Franco back. Alright. You have to. Yeah, it's going to be a fucking awkward weekend. Have you done it? Do you think that while

Franco's editing this, would you have done it yet? Nah. Okay. But he's listening to this. This is so meta. I'll do it in an hour. That'll be about right. Oh, yeah, okay. All right.

Up next, code words, which I'll probably need to use with Franco more than Tony. Yep, I think so. Hi, this is Megan from Ohio, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champions from the Patreon. Shayna Robinson. Fucking love to see her. Thanks, Shayna. Thanks, Robbo.

Bea McGowan. McG! Kalia, Lahaina, Hippolito, Joseph Herbert, and Kiz Ironside. Thank you so much, everybody, for being part of our Patreon. Chat to you later today. Yeah, you'll be watching the live stream, hopefully, from 9am today, 9am AEST, July 7th. Yeah. In case you're listening in the past or the future

and then it's like whatever. You're probably not in the future. No, but like if people are listening later and it's already happened and they come up to it and they go, oh, my God, the live stream's today. We said if we got to 3,000 Patreons, we would do 50 hours live stream. Because that equaled one minute per person that signed up. And now honoring the one minute per person, we're up to about 62 hours.

That's a whole half day on top. That's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. That's a lot of people. I was going to say starting 9 a.m. How many people fit in the MCG? A lot more than that, 100,000. Oh, okay.

Yeah. It'd be more of a. Like how many people would fit in your house? I'm not really good at visualising No, it's a lot over 3,000 Getting closer to 4,000 In your house? No, in the Patreon How many people would fit in your house?

Like 2,000? 2,000? 2,000? Sorry, I don't know. I do this a lot. Like whenever I'm somewhere and Torbz goes, oh, how many people are there? I'm like, oh, thousands. He's like, okay, so there was, what, 50 people there? Yeah.

I just have no – how do you get good at eyeballing stuff? Is it like you just practice? I guess. But in what situation would you practice at because you never know the actual number? Well, for instance, when you walk into an open house, for instance, and there's about 20 people there, then you say about 20 and not off thousands. But how do you know that there's 20?

Because people are walking back and forward. It might count someone twice. So if I went into an open house, I'd be like, there's 50 people there. What could that mean? But how would you know? So if Tony said there's 50 people, is that- Am I underquoting or am I overquoting? If you said 50 people, that could be between 10 and 3,000.

Yeah, actually. Like whenever someone goes, oh, it's about a K away, I go, well, what's that? Yeah, and we were having these chats when the ship went down, the Titanic thing, how it was 3,000 metres below sea, wasn't it? It was 3km down, yeah. And we were trying to comprehend measuring distance down. Down, yeah. And that sent us for a very long time.

Yeah, because we were just like how far. It's here to the MCG. Down. And also you add, what did you say? Like every 100 metres is an extra atmosphere's worth of pressure or something? Or something like that, yeah. Anyway, sorry, back to the live.

We'll save this shit chat for the live stream actually. I was going to say that's. Yeah. Save the gold, man. We have figured that because tension, I won't say tensions will be high, but like it's a stress on the body. We're going to be awake.

Emotional. It's going to be emotional. It's going to be stressful. And that we may need a code word to when we've sort of had enough to kind of go, hey, I just need a moment here. Or could you just ease up on me for a sec? Yeah, just give me a sec here, bro. Yeah.

And I think that's very fair and actually quite mature to in advance say, hey, let's just put a system in place. I think so. I know what I need emotionally. And just to repeat, what do you think that is? Just a bit of space when you need the space? Yeah. A bit of support when you need the support.

I think the thing is is that I'm quite emotionally intelligent. I think you are too. So I think it's also being able to like read the room. Like if I say fucking blue lobster at one point and that means can you fuck off? But if I say blue lobster later when I'm crying, that doesn't mean fuck off. That means like I need you right now. So it's the exact opposite. Yeah.

But I think you just have to. Can you fuck off over here? Into my arms. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Brittany. Hi. Brittany. Hi, Brittany.

I just wrote in Patreon and I just needed to share this comment. Is this Brittany, B-R-I-T-T-A-N-N-I-E? I was chatting to her the other day. I don't know and I'm not good at spelling, so it's not a good way to ask me. Don't you just copy and paste the comment out? Or did you retype it? Sometimes I retype. Why?

Or if I just wrote Brittany. Anyway, let me just read what a Britney wrote. I don't know if it's the Britney. My husband has the code word bananas for me when I've had too many drinks and need to bring it down a level or two. Oh. And my first thought is how many times do you have had to have got a bit silly? That you go, we need to figure this out.

We need a process. Yeah. We need a process. Yeah. We need a system. I also like bananas. Like, because if I was real tiddly and I was out on the town and Torbs, my partner, said tiny bananas, I'd go, bananas! Yeah, you'd be awful.

I'd think that was really funny. And that's not. It's the exact opposite of what we need. But don't you love when a partner gives you the, like, something, like, Ryan, you're fucking carrying on, and you kind of do that, like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And you go, oh, no, I'm on top of it. It's that, like, I can stop whenever I want, I just don't want to. Yeah. I'm all good. I was dancing on a table at 5pm in the afternoon on a Sunday, and Bridget's like, it's just not the time. Yeah. And I went, still light out.

So, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah, thanks for that. And sometimes you just need a little reel in. Yeah. We've asked people to send in suggestions. For code words? For us.

Oh, right. So we're not going to use bananas. That's Brittany's one. Okay. But people have sent in theirs. And actually, how should we do this? Because I do have results because I've made a poll. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, let's start at the lowest ones. Yeah, maybe read the options out. Yeah, because I'd like to hear all the options. Actually, let's go through the options. All right, we've got both The Little Woot and Catherine Illingsworth have suggested sparkling c**t as the code word. Franco, please beep that out. Sorry for not following you on Instagram.

Is that a bit too? I just think that I'm not going to be able to say that when I'm, like, being serious. Do you know what I mean? Because it's like, oh, and then you're making a joke out of the fact that like, I need emotional support right now. Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean?

Is that one? That's not the front runner, is it? No. Okay, good. There is a clear winner. Oh, great. Okay. Cass says, when you're feeling a bit anxious and, like, you need a moment,

you just say, I need to take a little trip to the hospital. Again, I think it's too... Like, if I'm fucking feeling emotionally unstable, am I going to... Unstable. Maybe that's the point. It brings you back around Because it needs to be a quick little cheer me up

But if I'm angry Right so if I'm like I need to go to the hospital Can everyone give me a minute Fine If you're fucking me up and I go I've got to go to the hospital She's in a foul mood

Yeah I think I need a chicken Chicken Foul Foul Okay Anyway Isn't a fowl. Fowl. Okay. Anyway. Isn't a fowl a horse? No, that's foal.

What's a fowl? Fowl is chicken. That's why I made the chicken jack. I was like, yeah, good one, Dick. You know, you guys. What about the fowl foal? Is that the code word? But, yeah, so you know what I mean?

Like I just don't know if like in an angry burst of anger that I could say that. Okay. Well, you're not going to like what the winner is, but we'll push on. Rebecca suggests Stanley Tucky. Stanley Tucky. But I think it's almost as well as that. It's almost like a.

Yeah, pick me back up kind of thing. Like a snap me out of it. Yeah. Mustafa suggests Tunnel Brothers. Tunnel Brothers. Tunnel Brothers. Tunnel Brothers. That's okay.

Harrison Rowe said it should be Tim Watson. So does he have a desk? What does he like in real life? Does he wear fancy shoes while he's doing the news? I can let you know that Stanley Tucky came in second. That Sparkling C*** came in third. Yep. Beat that, Franco. Sorry if I'm not following you.

The winner, as voted, 45% of exclusive and champion tapas have voted for this. Yeah. And I'm nervous now because it kind of. That's okay. That's all right. It actually was suggested by Liana Bruja Hardelen. Oh, here we go. She's always popping off.

Maybe that should just be the code word. Leonina. Leah Bruja. Luka Nina Minamon. Is when you say, and actually I'll just act it out because I'll have to say the code word. Totally. At one stage across. Yeah.

Or many stages across this weekend. Oh. So I'll just play it, you know. Okay. Sorry, Tony. I just need a meowment. Okay. Okay. Is that the, I need a meowment. Okay. Is that the

I need a meowment? Yep. Your initial reaction. I think it's very good. It is a very smart joke. It is a smart joke. I was going to say as I read it in my mind

it came across In your mound? It came My mound. I know what you're trying to do. Let me fucking jump on your mound. When I read it out loud, it didn't seem as smooth as I thought it might have. Yeah.

But I do think that you can say it more subtly than if you go, Guys, Tunnel Brothers. I like Tunnel Brothers. They got 5%. I need a meowment. Guys, I need a meowment. I need a meowment. Yeah, maybe that is good.

Sorry, I missed an option, but no one voted for it anyway. Oh, what was it? A traffic light system of fucked offness. Oh, I missed an option, but no one voted for it anyway. Oh, what was it? A traffic light system of fucked offness. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Oh, you know what we could do? Maybe we could take the three best ones and put them into a traffic light system. But then are we, you know, trying to remember what each one is?

What if it's like soccer? Like a yellow card, red card. And you get a yellow card or a red card. Andrew Smart. I'm way into soccer at the moment. Andrew said. I watched Sam Kerr on the news the other night and I'm fucking way in. I'm like buying into the soccer.

The World Cup. Yeah, I fucking love it. It's in Australia, baby. Andrew Smart said, I want to see Tony's level of fucked offness with a red traffic light. So he's all for that. Yeah. But they got all for that. Yeah. But that got 5% of the vote. And so what would you do?

Like if it was orange, it would be like, come on, like I'm getting to the end. And then red would be like, yo, nah. I think when you go, I need a meowment, and then I go, how bad is it? And you go, orange light. And I go, okay. Oh. But then if you go.

I'm red. I'm red. Or if you go, it's red. And I go, same. There's no follow-up questions. Because it's not a joke. Yeah. Because this is the thing.

This is a red. Most of the things that we do are a joke. It's a red meowment. It's a red. I think we can incorporate the traffic lights and the meowment. Yeah. Green is sort of irrelevant because it's fine. Green's irrelevant because it's fine.

Green's irrelevant because we're just like assumed green. Assumed green. Sorry, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. Mate, if we're talking about me trying to fucking function, how about you talk to me on Sunday when I'm fucking drooling and I don't know what's going on. So we assume green. Orange is maybe like calm down, I'm getting there, like pump the brakes.

And red's like it ends now. And we don't be cocks about it. Yeah, and then I go, okay, Tony said red. I'm just going to like look at the camera and like push on and like ask him a question or do whatever and then I'll just free you up to, or again, if you're like red, then I can come over and read the room. Do you think that at some point we'll kiss? I think so.

Do you reckon? When? Green, green, green, green, green. I think it'll be, well, I would have said that's the way to finish it, but you're going to do the click. We're going to click. Okay, maybe another time we'll think of something. Maybe we could kiss and I could click at the same time.

No. I could click the second you get a boner. Oh, you'd be fucking... Yeah, you'd sound like it's a round of applause. Oh, I don't know what that was. I don't like that. That was after the boner happens. Red light, red light.

Oh, push on. No, so we're meowment, traffic light system. The meowment and the traffic light system, I think that's a good thing. And let's make sure that the whole team is briefed on that. Okay, yeah. Because then if I need to red meowment, like, producer Cam or producer Jane or, you know. Franco. Franco. Franco.

Franco's like, oh, Ryan, what's the deal with the Instagram? Oh, Red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your Instagram password? Don't fucking know. Red. Like because we do need a lot of content because we will be on livestream for a long time.

Producer Cam, do you maybe want to write down we give everyone a nickname that's going to be there with us? Why do we? Can't we just call them by their names? That's too much to remember. Is it a lot to remember? Sorry, I just thought maybe that would be a good content idea. Oh.

Like something to talk about. Yeah, no, put it down. Yeah, write it down. Okay. You got any love to say it? I do have any love to say it. Off the back of me talking about it being like every Australians in Italy at the moment, I saw this fucking hilarious tweet.

I'll get Franco to put it on the screen unless he's not doing that anymore. He might have quit. Someone posted this photo on Twitter. Can you explain kind of what you see? He's holding an empty water bottle. It looks like a water bottle. Yeah, there's clear liquid in it. Oh, there a water bottle. Yeah, there's like clear liquid in it.

Oh, it's clear liquid. Yeah, I think it's like half full, but it's just like a bottle of water. And the OP has said, at Julia Mavhongu has posted, so I'm in Italy, went into a supermarket, bought and drank almost half this bottle of water, only to walk over to the cashier and say, probably don't drink so much of that. It's actually a laxative.

Oh, my God. So it's got like... It says a la pupe. Yeah. I don't speak Italian. But it literally looks like a bottle of water. Like an Evian. It looks like Evian.

It does, but it's obviously got like... La pupe. You need to get a la pupe. You need to go to the poopay. You need to go to the pasta. You need to go to the poopay. Red. Red. Red for racist.

I just thought that that was really funny. Well, it's funny for you. It's not funny for her that afternoon. No, not at all. But like, you know, when you are away and you kind of go, oh, yeah, how different could it be? You just think it's fucking water. Yeah, it wasn't.

Was it in the water section? I'm guessing so because, you know, when you go into a supermarket and it's like all the water's there, then like the tonic water. Then all the sports drinks are together. Yeah, so I'm guessing that they would have seen that and thought that it was like vitamin water maybe. You know how that's often with like the Leucosade and Hydrolyte and stuff? Maybe.

I don't know. But I just thought it was so funny because I would have done the exact same thing. Absolutely. Maya, I'd love to see it again in Perth. Perth's been killing it this week. Tapa Jade had a New Year's resolution to walk five million steps this year. Whoa! To Ways Around Awareness for Mental Health.

What does that end up working out to like per day? You would have to fucking click out. It'd be 5 million times, divide 365, it'd be just less than 13,700. That's a lot. Do you just do that in your head? Can you look it up? 13,000, 14,000.

13,698. How did you do that? And you can't say how many people are in an open house. You just eyeball it. How did you do that? Hang on, let me read who you love to see it. Halfway through the year. So it's halfway through the year.

Are you okay? No, I'm actually not. How did you do that? That was better than my click, which I'm a bit fucked off about, to be honest. It's overshadowed your click. How did you, genuinely, how did you do that? Five million steps. Yeah.

So five million and then divided by 365. Yeah. How did you do that math so quickly? It's a bit less than 13,700. But how did you do that so fast? Division. No, no, no, I know. But like, you know when normally you kind of think about something

and you go, oh, yeah, and round that up to 400? Is that what you did? You went, like, oh, 5 million divided by 400 is that and then a bit less than that? Off, yeah, 13,700, but it obviously was not quite right. Yeah. What was it again? 13,698.

You were 52 off. Like, you weren't, like, way off. Oh, excuse me for not being on the You were 52 off. Like, you weren't way off. Oh, excuse me for not being on the count. No, I'm saying you weren't way off. Like, I would have been like, oh, what, 100 steps a day? Like, that's what I would have said. Anyway. It's half of Jade who's doing it.

Jade. Oh, Jade, that's actually amazing. And did you say she's doing it for mental health? That's fucking incredible. She's halfway through the year, and she's halfway towards her goal, which is crazy. And today she walked all the way. So someone goes, oh, it's a Sunday or whatever. She sent this through the year and she's halfway towards her goal, which is crazy. And today she walked all the way. So someone goes, oh, it's a Sunday or whatever.

She sent this through last week. And she goes, oh, today's the day I'm going to really like churn some out. Yeah. Then if you get ahead and you miss a day, you're all good. Yeah. I walked from my house in Woodvale to Optus Stadium, which is 23 kilometers. Fuck, yeah. To Optus Stadium, which is 23 kilometres.

The whole four-and-a-half-hour walk, I had Tony and Ryan in my ears making me laugh and pushing me through. You love to hear it. Ooh, that is amazing. Until I heard you love to hear it. Oh, this is a video show, so we love to see it today. That is an incredible feat. Yeah.

Effy, AT, but both, I guess. I didn't mean that, but yeah. She must have some issues. Sock it to me, baby. Before we leave for the live stream. Christopher Walken. Because it's like an emotional time and we're going to push the bond and we need to be like honest and open and stuff. I actually knew you'd probably ask how many steps is that,

so I calculated it yesterday. I could have, and I just want you to respect that I could have taken that to the grave. Because I went, Tony will probably ask and then I'll just have then I'll have the little answer in the back of my mind. But you did it like just a bit off so that I would fall for it. Yeah. I'm like, do you know what? I could be upset right now. I could have taken that to the grave.

Hang on. Hang on. I could be upset right now. I could have taken that to the grave. Hang on. Hang on. I could be upset right now, but I'm more impressed that you knew me that well, that you knew I'd ask. Yeah. That's cool. Imagine if you didn't. That's a cool thing that you knew that I would do.

Imagine if you didn't and I just did all this maths. All this maths. I mean, producer Cam did it in about three seconds on the computer. Oh, I did it longhand. With a pencil. I also, I knew that you didn't give me enough information when I was like, so how did you break that down? Because normally you would go, oh, well, so you think about it

as one million and then you times it up and whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I should have fucking smelt a rat eye. Yeah, but I didn't think you'd be. I can't smell anything still. That was funny. That was very funny.

That was funny. That was very funny. Thanks for funny. That was very funny. Thanks for being honest. Thank you. I really appreciate that. But you could have tagged in that because I was just so impressed. Yeah. Are you, your smell's still off?

Smell's still off, yeah. It's going to be a sweaty week. Your farts and the gluten farts. Oh, but just the like. What are you going to wear to get there? Like, because I know you're staying the night, but, like, are we starting in an outfit that we've all decided? Sorry, last-minute fucking brainstorm.

I might start in some Tony and Ryan merch. Okay, I'll see if I can find mine. But we do have some different outfits and things to... But, yeah, I want to know, are we starting hot? Yeah, start up. And we'll obviously end up in tracksuit pants looking like garbage. You know when you get, like, feel a bit sick and you have to take all your clothes off? Yeah.

I think that's what's going to happen to me. As in like, and then put comfy clothes on or you just mean just naked? You're just sitting there in your knickers and you just like can't fathom putting any clothes on. You usually do that with a nightie, right? Should we play like, yeah, I do put my nightie on, yeah. I know you. Should we play like strip poker or something? No.

Okay, cool. Don. I know you. Should we play like strip poker or something? No. Okay, cool. Don't write that down. Is that a... Well, we don't know the challenges besides those ones we went through last week. Do we have a deck of cards, Producer Cam? Just in case it comes up. Someone might suggest it and we might want to play. Wink.

All right, guys. We'll see you soon. All right, we'll see you on the live stream. We're fucking pumped. We're feeling play. Wink. All right, guys. We'll see you soon. We'll see you on the live stream. We're fucking pumped. We're feeling pumped, feeling good. Even though Ryan's a liar, a bold-faced liar about his maths ability. That's okay. I didn't lie.

I'm just going to have to get over that in the next two hours before we start live streaming. Red light. Ah! Does that mean I'm not allowed to say anything? I don't know what that means. You're not allowed to take the piss out of the red light. Yeah, I know.

I just thought about that as well. Orange. All right, all good. Green. Love you. All good? All good. That's actually all good.

All good. Thank you so much for listening slash watching. See you on the live stream. Exclusive and Champion Tapas can watch. Everybody contributes to the minutes, though, but if you want to watch, comment, be part of it. Upgrade your fucking Patreons, you know? Don't go to Italy.

Do this. This is a lot cheaper. Yeah. A lot cheaper. Yeah. Fuck, it's still going. Okay. Love you.

Bye. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Bye.