Toni and Ryan - Unwaxed and Unapologetic

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] PUBE UPDATE and 5 word speeches!! Love ya xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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easy. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Tony. This is my best friend, Ryan. Hello. And every day we make this podcast and every day it is Tony. This is my best friend, Ryan. Hello. And every day we make this podcast and every day it is approved by a TAPA. Yeah, TAPA is a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now Tiana is on the central coast of Australia. Tiana, I believe you've got a connection to the OG Wiggles. Yeah. My mum used to be there. She was their first website designer. Oh my gosh. So we used to be, yeah. So we used to go backstage since I was a baby, like Anthony, um, used to rock me to sleep.

Oh my gosh. Rockabye asleep. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Was that written about you, Tiana? Are you the original Shush? Who knows?

Yeah. Well, my dad said if I come out with wiggling hands that, um, my mom's in trouble. That is fucking hilarious. I was about to make a joke about Ryan's wiggling hands into me, but that's way fun. Yeah, that's way better. Tiana, will you approve this podcast? That's a fucking lutely. Hi, it's Tiana from the Central Coast, New South Wales, and I approve this podcast. We start this episode with an apology. I'm smiling.

Sorry, should I be more serious? We'd like to start this episode with an apology. Oh, well then I was serious then you did smile. Meet you in the middle. We would like to start this show with an apology. Half, half. Last week we- Half and half.

Oh my God, we're about to be in the US and we can have half and half again. Half and half milk only exists in America and that's why we're moving there. I am going to come in America. We're paying $5 million each for that Trump green card thing. You know that? You can buy them?

Oh, yeah. Great. I've bought seven. Worth it for the milk. Yeah. Yeah. That's an expensive half and half. Charles did find half and half little sachets on Amazon.

I was about to say Charles did buy a green card. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We've got a bit to discuss about that coming up today, but the apology is last week's episode on the Friday was very pub heavy. It was very graphic. A lot of people were in tears for good, bad, and indifferent reasons according to the YouTube comments and the way we would like to apologize to you today is by reading other people's stories of the same vein, which is... Don't say vein. Throbbing vein.

Would you say that it's not a public apology, but a pubic apology? What's the difference in spelling? Because when I was Googling stuff... Just a little L, tiny little L. And sometimes you gotta take a little L. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm taking a little D. Sorry.

Sorry. Wow. For those who are listening and not watching, Tony just slapped herself in the face. Yeah, it hurt. Yeah. It's a bit red. Yeah, I don't know my own strength.

You are jacked. I'm yoke. Just quickly, what happened to you? Do you want to? I slapped myself on the face. No, the pubics. Oh, so my pubes during the night were so long that they kind of mattered together, rendering my

pussy faps closed. And then the pubics hairs turned into a pubic spout. And the way that I was doing in the middle of the night traveled up the pubic spout and onto the ground. I pissed on the floor. And the question was, when did you know your pubes were too long?

Yeah. And in like, I mean like in an OHS way. Yeah. Now, I've put these tarpas names into chat GPT and said chat GPT, take out their last name and anything identifiable, but what is the pubed version of their name so first rugged Rochelle hi Rochelle hi rugged Rochelle so we will only use their full Christian name yeah so how did you know your pubes are too long I went to shave them but they were too long for the shaver so I had to use scissors first to get them to a shaveable level. Oh sweetheart, every time. Yeah.

Rocket Rochelle, I just can only imagine what that's like. Sorry, I just realised that I'm not supposed to be on everyone's side. Alex the Hedgehog says, when they start to poke through your leggings. Yeah. Yeah. Big Muff Morgan says after a romp sesh with my husband, his dick has rug burn. Sounds kind of hot though. Except for the... Well the pain.

Yeah. Would that hurt the penis? Would be, I assume around the like the... Say it. No. Say it. No. The bass. Would that hurt the penis? Would be, I assume around the like the... Say it. No. Say it. No.

The base. Yeah. Is that like before how you showed us how the base of your penis is really thin but the end is thick by showing us a cucumber of our employee? We're gonna for context need to get that cucumber. Lily get the cucumber. Urgently. Oh Charles is like, oh they're running, they're running.

Oh my it's all right. And is that the? Just the one? Just the one. Yeah. Just the one in question. Oh, I don't like this. So Lily innocently brought in her lunch today, which includes a cucumber.

And one of the cucumbers is really skinny at the top and quite thick at the bottom. Yep. And Tony went, ah, is this like you with the femoral tip? Blah, blah. And I said, no, it's the other way around. And then show everybody what you did. I didn't do anything. You held it at penis height.

I did not. I did not. You did. I did not. You held it where the penis would be on a human boy. Wouldn't that be upsetting? That's her lunch. I was just to show off the girth in an audible.

We actually really need to make sure that we stop playing with cucumbers in this office because shit's getting wild. People are losing jobs over playing with cucumbers in this office. There's a bit going on behind the scenes in the office today. Let's get serious and push onto carpet keeper Kendra.

When I was a teenager, my mom saw me naked and said, oh, you don't do anything about that? And that's when I knew, said carpet keeper Kendra. No, what a carpet cleaner from the mom. That's awful. This is not about body shaming. This is strictly OH&S. Yeah.

This is strictly when it caused a medical issue. There was one that I read that was, I knew they were a bit too long when my boyfriend pulled a hair out of the shaft of his dick and didn't know whether it was from my head or my puss. That's one of them. And that is the OH&S that we are talking about. Now- Not judgey mums. Dingleberry Dave says, When I look down and I can't see my balls anymore.

Is that relatable for you? Oh, I'm so fat I haven't seen my genitals for years. Same bar. Yeah, I get it. It should in theory be easier for a guy to see them because they. So minor inside. Yeah. Yeah. So it doesn't matter what size I am because it's internal.

Yeah. Yeah. So true. I'm like, oh, I'm so fat. I haven't seen my ovaries. That's a good thing. In the business of my anatomy, that's actually the correct way. Not to yuck anyone's yum, but for me, that's the right way.

The point of chat GPT, pubifying people's names is that it's supposed to like not out them. Yeah. But like this one's kind of obvious. This one's from Twiggin Berries. And are the Twiggin Berries. Another Twiggin Berries. Big. Well, the alternative name was Big Bushy Ben. That's what they call that cock in London. Clock in London.

Big Ben. Yeah, it was actually a really clever joke. That would kill on Seinfeld. Yep. No, Seinfeld's... no. It's a thinker. No. I'm about to go to New York so I think I know. Should we go to the Seinfeld deli? What's the Seinfeld deli?

Guess what it is. Do he owns a deli? Well, one of the shots they're always in the deli chatting. I've never watched it. And it chatting. I've never watched it. And it shows. Like I've never seen it. I know. Yeah.

But I'll take you there. If you had to guess the deli from the show, what do you think it is? Don't do that. If you had to guess. Do you know what deli is good that I went to when we were last in New York? Like Katz's deli, the one from when Harry met Sally. The food's really good. Is that the same deli?

What does it sound like? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hot though. Is it? No, well no. Is that like a cool thing that new kids do? It's like girls, girls have cleavage, like kind of poking through the top and guys have pubes like poking through their jeans. Sup ladies? Well, I've just started wearing jeans again, so I'll let you know. Hi, it's Sienna from the Central Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Emily, Belinda Kay and a couple of our mates, Charlotte and Emily Haskins, good on ya. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. We couldn't do it without you, like genuinely could not do it without you.

But if you're watching on YouTube, there is the name scrolling across the bottom. That's all tiers of Patreon available there. What, did I say the wrong thing? No. Oh, what? There's a piece of paper, there's something that says Jimny, and I have looked at it and gone

Why does it say Jiminy and then I've gone? Oh, yeah, because I have to mention the Jiminy I was like boss Charles left the word Jiminy. Oh that is handy Should we know keep going? No done. Yeah, I mean you asked no totally Yeah, that's boring. But but also the face that gave, I was like, oh, did I say fucking... It's not when kids are laughing at you. Obviously, it's at me. I've shit myself. Yeah. Yeah. All levels of Patreon are scrolling across the bottom. So if you'd like to see your name there, I mean,

it seems like the only logical choice is to join up. Sign up. Hey, we're on Monday night American Time. And because of, we're not going to do time and because of we're not gonna do time zone chat. We're not doing that. Monday night in New York, we will be in New York city accepting a Webby that you who watched this show voted for. So thank you so much. We really fucking appreciate it.

Can't do that. Huge. Tarp Art rise up. Yeah, now we're not big red carpet fancy event people. So there's a lot of stuff that's been discussed here at Tarp Tower that it's just, I guess not normal for us. We've got a lot of questions. What do we do?

How do we stand? Where do I put my hands? If I'm in a photo, like do I? A lot of chats about the outfits as well, wanting to make sure that we like fit in. Now, I'm just gonna do a quick little game of, I'm gonna read a quote and Tony, you have to say, yeah, I did say that, or no, I didn't say that.

Are you friend or foe? Well, when everyone hears what you said, they might ask the same question. Did you say yesterday, after looking your co-host and best friend up and down? Oh, I assume you're getting your haircut before then. True or false? That is true.

And I apologised immediately. Did you? For how it sounded. After laughing. Yeah, well, we all laughed. Yeah, didn't we? In fairness. Didn't we all have to be laughed? We all laughed.

And then Lily said, are you getting your haircut? And I was like, cop that, agree. And I said, yes, I will be cutting my own hair before we go. Can't get into the hairdresser, that's okay. Tie a little fringe up? Yep, just do the fringe, all good.

Now- I'm sorry. I actually love your hair at the moment because it's gotten a bit longer at the top. Oh. Which I like. All of us complimented you on that today because you're in, you're in defense mode. No, no, we don't do that. Uh,

second, did you really say that? Now a lot of the areas at the web, because the internet, it's the best of the internet, honoring the best of the internet. So a lot of the entrances are called like funny internet based names and memes for the purpose of the evening. Evening? Like the awards you mean? Yeah sure. So instead of like stage door two, it's called the whatever. So we are going to go to the Moondang VIP entry when we get there. Did you or did you not say I don't want to be photographed near Moondang

because I would hate to end up in a Who Wore It Better. That did happen as well. I didn't realise that the door was called the Moondang door. I thought you guys were saying that Moondang was going to be there. And I was like, they're shipping the pygmy bossom to fucking Times Square, New York City. A walk in. A walk in. In New York City. Is what I actually pictured.

I'm like, God, she's going to be on the subway. Good on her. And that is why I was like, well, I don't want to be photographed next to her because people are going to be like, oh, mudeng times two. Two-deng, two-deng. Two-deng, two-curious. So, you know. So you didn't say that?

I didn't say that. And that's funny. At least that's not mean. Yeah. The haircut, not my finest, but that's funny, at least. Now. So is she coming? Is that what I'm hearing?

No, one of the entrances or the stage, it's like the Moudang selfie stage or whatever. That's so funny. Now we are luckily enough going on stage to receive our award, which is pretty huge. We've been chosen. Not everybody gets to go up there, which we didn't know. And so when we get this letter. And it's a bit like, it said, Tony and Ryan, congratulations on your award. Um, who will be coming on stage? Which one person will be coming on stage to deliver the speech?

And we're all got in and we chatting and then Tony goes, are we just like not talking about that? I was like, are we just not acknowledging that I think it might only be one of us? So have you thought about who you might like it to be? Well, I said on the day, I said like, oh, it would be a thrill to go up there, but I would be so stoked to see you go out there too. I think I'm voting for Charles. Now, one of the main parts of the Webbies is the iconic five word speech. You only get five words. Now Charles, would you like to be considered in this?

Not really. Now, I'm going to send you a text. Actually, I might just send it straight to you. It ignores you. You can go up if you, and I haven't discussed this with Tony so we'll come to a vote, but if you read these five words then I'm voting for Charles. Now let me send it through and Charles you have to read this verbatim. And you have to act it out as I've said, five words only. And considering, considering Tony and I are in long-term relationships, I think this is

the best use of our time. Oh no. Do I read the first word? Do I read the first too many? No, no, first word and then the next three in the brackets are like, straight direction. Charles finds me on hinge. Vote one, Charles. I mean, it would be funny.

Yeah. What ideas did you have for the five? Did you have any of those there or? Well, I mean, obviously my mind instantly went to the like, oh, we have to thank Beyonce, you know, kind of energy. I also did think about like, the five words really, they've got to be good. They really have to be good.

But then I was thinking that I assumed you would be doing it. No. In my mind. I was like- It's got big first name energy. No, I was like, I would be like so happy to see you go up there. The thing for me is that like it is win-win. Whoever goes will do an awesome job and it's going to be-

No, if I go, it'll be a loss. No fucking way. When we started- This is actually not the time for self-deprecation. No. This podcast wouldn't exist without you. Yeah. And when we started this podcast, you said, my name's first, I'll fucking kill you.

And in the future I'll accept all awards because I'm the talent. Now in the game of, did I really say that? Did you really say that? You really said that. Just then. That sounds like yes, accurate that it has been said, but not by me. I don't think that this is a time for self-deprecation. I just- What's your five words? Well, I didn't write anything because I was like, the only question that I have is can we swear? That's my biggest one. Do you think that we can swear? I don't reckon they'll allow it.

I don't think so either. So I know what I would like us to say. Yes. And yes. And it does include a swear word. And so we've been asked to go to like the dress rehearsal and blah, blah, blah, blah. So here's my plan. You say like, I love watermelon sugar, but then on the night you say something totally different. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll go to the dress rehearsal. We'll never get invited back. Seeing as you've already planned your holiday next year around getting invited to the Webbies

again, I'd say that you'd probably give a fuck. No, I did say that if we go next year, that we should go three, four weeks early so you can go to the Easter hat parade on Fifth Avenue. Because of the generous, you know, thinking of others person. Yeah, totally. Yeah. But how do you feel about lying to the stage people and saying, this is what I'm gonna say

and then changing it? As a producer, like former producer, I would not do that to them. Because it's gonna be a producer that you say it to and they'll go, yep, approved, all good. And then they're the ones that are gonna get in trouble by the big wigs, cause they'll go, why didn't you tell them

that they couldn't say that? So I wouldn't do that. So if you would like to go down the fraud route. Always will. Should we say what we're thinking of saying? Or do we save it? I think we can say it. Just quickly, I asked ChatGPT if people have sworn

in their acceptance speeches before. And so ChatGPT said, yes, people have sworn during the WebVis acceptance speeches, and it's practically encouraged in a cheeky way. Then it gave me some examples. And in all the examples, no one swore. I haven't seen any swear words. Can you ask chat?

I've seen it implied or cheeky, but I've never seen straight up like. A straight up fuck. So what I want to say, sorry, pause. Can you ask chat GPT if more than one person's ever accepted before maybe this is what we need to know. Cause if both of us can go up, then how good We'll just fucking do it.

We'll both just go up there. Okay. And it's the energy of what we're going to say is the reason why we should just fucking go up there. I think what we should say is just start the fucking blog. Me too. I feel like it's the right energy. I feel like it represents all of the top community.

Anyone that's tried something and done something. This whole podcast is based on the philosophy of start the fucking blog. The reason we are going to be accepting a webby is because we just started the fucking blog. Yeah. So do I go, what is your speech? And I go, oh, start the blog. And they go, great, signed off approved.

And then on the other time. And then pretend you're just so pumped on the night. What if we did a frickin just start the frickin blog? So what am I a fucking school teacher? Yeah. Oh, it's got to be. What about a like a. Just start a blog. Yeah!

You know? Yeah. Okay. Here's the Webby. I actually think that's probably quite an accurate size. Oh! Jeez, they're a bit heavier than they look. Well, you've blown it now.

Because that's more than the words and... These things are so heavy. Oh! You can say that. I don't be like holding my balls. Oh, you could say that. And I'll be like holding my balls. Why did you whisper that? I'm on stage. Yeah, sorry. Just start the blog.

The webbies make a bit of sound though. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't think that the webbies will be filled with cold filtered water. What about, just start the frickin blog. Just start the effin blog. No, I like just start the bloody blog. Got bloody.

Yeah, it's very cheap. Kind of cheeky as well. What I think though is the official saying is fucking. Yeah. And if you drop an effin, it everyone knows what that means. Yeah. What I think though is the official saying is fucking. And if you drop an effin, everyone knows what that means. But if you say bloody people go, oh, they've catchphrases, start the bloody blog. Actually rolls off the tongue a lot better

now that I've said that. Well, when I originally said it, I didn't think it was gonna become the catchphrase. I didn't think I was writing a cultural moment that would last years and years. I didn't think that I was determining our future. We were just talking about Julian and Julia. Yeah.

And look at us now. And look at us now. Just start the feckin' blog. Like Mrs. Brown's boys. Like an Irish woman. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking blog. Just start the fucking blog. I'm just gonna say it. Oh so you're talking now okay. Yeah my name's first. I hope you die and I will only accept all the awards for now.

Oh my god Nostradamus you can see to the future. So I've been speaking with Trajit Bittie and apparently in the past people have gone up together, especially co-hosts on a podcast. Last time it was in 2023. Oh no, apparently, apparently this is ChatGBT, Trixie and Kata last year when they won the Webby they both went up. And this is the same category. Trixie and Kata, yep.

I think it actually is dumb for two people to speak because it's five words No, unless we do just but then it's a fucking good then that's the gimmick Yeah, where it's actually a fucking like fist in the air moment. Yeah, I think I've got an idea fist the fucking blog if we go out there together. Let's just kiss No, and you know why cuz I shuckered last time. So this is what happens to Tony in New York. I think I would be down for kiss and we get up there and Tony would go and shucker. She does that in New York. I do that in New York yeah. Should we just kiss? What if I? If you finger me that is so funny. For comedy. That's so funny. For comedy. Just finger the fucking co-host.

So it turns out I'm not gonna wear the jumpsuit, I guess. If I need to be easily fingered, that'll take a fucking two minutes to get in there. Oh my God. I think we need to step back. Get on the, and just think about- On the balcony, yep. Go to the balcony and look back at the situation

and go, hang on. We're there. Figuring, yes. Even at at the situation and go, hang on. We're figuring. Yes. Even at a distance, it's a good idea. Harder, though. Is it? You've been fingered by someone in the next room. It's difficult. We're not with that attitude.

OK, so we're both going up. Tony's saying start the fucking blog. Do you? I don't want to. I don't want to say I feel like it's my name is first energy. But that's not why I'm like that's just because you're better than me at everything. No, don't do it. No, it's not the time for that. And that's not why it is. It's not the time for humility. No, it's the time for smugness. It's also not the time for like, do you want me to read it? No, I really want to. Can I decide? Because I'm not going.

I'll do it. I think Tony's doing it. Yeah, same. Why? It just feels right. The thing is that white men so rarely get a chance to be heard.

Can you just imagine though, Ryan, just staying there looking handsome, and so rarely get a chance to be heard. Can you just imagine though, Ryan, just staying there looking handsome, being so proud of you, saying your words, best friend, just being like aw. Yeah, they'll go, oh, that amazing, inspiring woman and that guy that clearly needs a haircut. Was jerking off.

That needs a haircut. Yeah. You're standing there, holding the webby like, ah! Should we go back to the balcony and just think about how it looks? We're going to this beautiful big building in New York City that's a hundred years old. We're honoring the tarpas and representing the tarpa community. Representing the tarpas, yeah.

And all you can say is... Imagine if you were jerking the webby off behind me. Or do I fuck the webby because it's like an empty coil. What if you, like, to me behind me... Just an update for you. Yeah. Fuck the Webby because it's like an empty coil. What if you like, to me behind me. Just an update for you. Yeah. We're worried about swearing, but that's fine. So the last time they, someone said fuck

or giving the five word speech was actually in 2007. 18 years since an F-bomb on stage at the Wall Street Cipriani. The last time someone said fuck at the Webbies was before Charles was born. Isn't that upsetting? Hang on. OK.

So we're going to say it. We might censor the word, and Tony's speaking. Is there any more things? I don't think that I should do it. Are you nervous? No, it's not. No. Are you a pussy?

No, I don't really get nervous about shit like that. I get nervous. I'm nervous about what I'm going to wear and stuff, but I don't feel nervous about talking. Yeah. Try and fucking shut me up. Do you get nervous about shutting the fuck up? I'm nervous about saying too many words.

Yeah. I get up there and I'm like, how's everyone doing tonight? And then they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like they play the music. Yeah. I get up there, I'm like, how's everyone doing tonight? And then they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like they're playing the music. Someone has mentioned that speaking won't be Tony's challenge. It'll be keeping it to five words or less. Just start the fucking blog.

Thank you. Seven. Oh, I've already failed. You are a thousand percent going to do a shaka. I think I have to. I think it's part of my brand. I think that all the New Yorkers will be like, who's that? And then I'll do the shaka.

They'll be like, Madison Square Garden. Yeah. All right. Um, so lock it in. I would be honored to do it. Yeah, great. Yeah, great. But I also like would love, I would be so proud to see you up there too.

Or for you to say it or whatever. You don't need to do that. No, but I'm not. Nah, you don't need to do that. No, no, no, but I'm not doing that. What if you hold hands? That's cute. What if my five words, bitches?

I said yes. I'm not doing that. What if you hold hands? That's cute. What if my five words bitches, I said yes. Where is Taylor Swift? Now this is my love to see it, but it's a more of a, I hope Tony loves to see it. Oh, fucking hang on. I see what's happening here. You've just buttered me up with giving me that. And now you're like, oh, she has to say yes now.

It's not like I'm seeking your approval. I'm just genuinely curious to know if you rate it. Cause it's, there's a bit going on. Give it to me. Now, and we're all going to watch it at the same time Tony does here on YouTube. You can check it out if you're in the audio version. I've made an ad for us for the podcast to promote the show. If this is you, you better lower your mother tone when you're talking to me.

Please listen to the Tony and Ryan podcast. That would kill on fine. That would honestly do numbers on fine. 100%. I'm going to put on mine today. Yeah. The basketball missing the ring is really funny. I came upstairs yesterday and gathered around Charles and Lily and go, guys, this is my best work.

That's amazing. I think it's pretty funny. Approved? Yeah, I think it's funny. What do you mean? You don't think it's funny? Well, when Charles and Lily said it was funny, they said it by laughing. I laughed already. I said that would kill on Vine. That is the ultimate fucking compliment. I don't know if that's a compliment.

From me it is. I love Vine. I watch Vine compilations all the time on YouTube. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Would you like to share what Bridget said about the video that you told me this morning? Woody? Not really. Well Bridget had just had a long day of parenting and keeping the house afloat and I don't think she was in the zone for the height of comedy that I was providing. You gotta time it. And I did not time it.

Yeah. And well I can't remember what she exactly said but it was something along the lines of what? Oh. No. Is that what I said? What did I say? Yeah. Yeah. So just upset. Yes. What? Oh no I think it's really funny. I actually think it's really funny. The fucking, the ball hitting, missing the thing is so good. Does anyone want to hear the most first word problem ever? It kept going in. Don't you hate that when you're trying to miss the shot at basketball? You should have gotten me to do it.

It misses every time. That's true, that is true. All right. Um, what do you love to see? I've got to get down as you love to say it. I think so. I think it's really funny. Um, I also have you love to say that you're going to fucking hate and I feel like that energy maybe is a tiny bit off. So I'm not, I wish I couldn't. Well, as a representative of the show. Yeah. I wish I could change what I, Oh, well I just turned the volume on. I just turned the volume on. No, I'll fucking shut up. I just turned the volume on to I just turned the volume on. No, I'll fucking shut up

I just turned the volume on to show you a video. Oh, it's my it's my wife She's probably sending a message to say how much you love the video. Is that what it says? No She's like hey, I was just thinking about that video again, and I like it even less than I did yesterday You know how yesterday I was a zero? I'm now minus three. Yeah, and I've left the house. I will not be there when you get home. Just leave the dog. No, I've got your love to see it here.

That happened the other day. And I wish that the, I'm actually, you know what, I'm gonna change it. No, no, stand by it. Stand by it, I can take it. Let's hold hands and remind each other that we're best friends and we love each other. The other day we were making a booking with someone over the phone and Ryan and I were both

on the phone and they said, what's the phone number? And I said, I've just sent it through and they said, oh wow, what a beautiful phone number. Did you tell him in advance to say that? Because that actually happened. And I just went, oh, don't. But they went, oh. They saw that 0408 code and went, oh. What a beautiful phone number. I knew you were better than me.

I knew you were better than me, Tony, but I didn't know you were this much better. They go, God, you'll be given the webby speech, obviously. Yeah, here's Tony's five word speech, 0408. Fuck yeah. That was annoying. Yeah, and I'm sorry for bringing it back up now when maybe you're not itty bitty top.

That's a shame. But we love each other, we can go kiss and make up after this. Thank you so much for listening, watching if you're watching on YouTube. Oh, and if you're watching on YouTube, there's like Monday and Thursday episodes every week, audio only. Yeah, and next Wednesday's episode will be-

Next Wednesday's episode will be recorded directly after the Webbies. Yeah. So I don't know what mood or state or whatever we'll be in. But we've made a pact now that we're all leaving at the same time. To go and do it if anyone wants to go out after the episode they can. One in all in though. We've got to go back and do this episode. Yeah.

That's fair. I think that's fair. And then mama's gonna go out on the tear. And that's what I heard that you're gonna go out and get loose as well. I'm feeling a bit more tired since I think that's fair. And then mama's going to go out on the tear. Woo hoo. And that's what I heard that you're going to go out and get loose as well. I'm feeling a bit more tired since I said that. I'll try it. I'll try it too. Not taking it on.

Love you so much. See you have a great weekend. When's our next commitment after that? Like 2 p.m. the next day. No, I don't think we've got anything on the day after. Yeah, no, we've got the meetings with the- With the dogs. Yeah, with the big dogs.

Oh, to be fair, you might not have to do that, Charles. You can really push the boat out, but- How much do you reckon Charles looks like me? Can you look into your GoPro, Charles, and say, hi, I'm Tony Lodge, and you're best Tony Lodge? Do you need some glasses? Yes. Whoa, oh, what a catch!odge in your best Tony Lodge. Do you need some glasses? Yes. Whoa, oh, what a catch.

That's very, Tony-like. Yeah, you already failed. She would have dropped them. Oh, okay. Clark Kent in the house. Wow. I can see absolutely nothing. Same.

Same. Maybe you should get two glasses. Yeah, they look good, Charles. Hi, I'm Tony Lodge. You know Tony's from Australia, right? Do you think Perth people are born in Brooklyn? I wish I sounded like that. Is that what I sound like?

I think I'm having some auditory problems if that's what I sound like. I'm not hearing that at all. Yeah, neither. That's a real shame. Charles, do you want to do the love you bye? Love you bye, apparently. Love you bye. Love you bye.

I don't sound like a fucking broken Tamagotchi. What the fucking heck? I don't sound like a broken Tamagotchi. That's a good five word speech. I don't sound like a broken Tamagotchi. That's a good five word speech. I don't sound like a broken Tamagotchi. I'll see you, chat to you Monday. Love you, bye. I love you babe.

Love you man.