Toni and Ryan - We all have that friend...

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

I HAVE BEEN SPOTTED AT THE SUPERMARKET!!!! PAPPED!!!! Love ya! Toni xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My name's Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. And we are calling Sarah, who is in New Zealand. Ooh, kia ora! I love New Zealand. Would you say it's your favourite? Yes, definitely. It's my motherland. I feel like my heart's in Aotearoa. Hello, Sarah speaking. Hi, Sarah speaking. It's Tony and Ryan speaking.

Ah! Get back. How are you? Yeah, we're good. What are you doing, Sarah? What are you up to? I have just been spending some time with my best friend before I move countries. Oh, my God. Why would you move away from New Zealand?

I'm moving to Dubai. Oh, my God. What? Fuck, you hate paying taxes, eh? Yeah, I'm running away from the text, man. You're moving to Dubai? What? What's taking you over there?

Why are you moving? I got a job as an Emirates flight attendant. Oh, my God. That is amazing. And I can only imagine how hot Sarah is. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That is amazing. And I can only imagine how hot Sarah is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm not from California, but I'll take that. Oh. Sarah, you like the podcast, eh? New Zealand is the California of the Southern Hemisphere. I've always said that. I've always said that. That's amazing. I have a friend.

She was on the street team in Canberra at the radio station. Yep. And she got a job as an Emirates flight attendant. What? Travelled the world, saw the sights, had the time of her life, loved it and earned a fortune, Sarah. I wish. I'm so excited.

I've got some stuff on the horizon as well, but I wish I was doing that because that sounds like a lot of fun. That's an awe. Horizon as well, but I wish I was doing that because that sounds like a lot of fun. That's an awe. Well, we're obviously, like, obviously we've got to do the important stuff, like ask you if you'll approve the podcast. But what I also want to know is that, like, could we come and stay with you? Because obviously you're not going to be staying in your apartment all the time because you're

going to be travelling so much. Yeah. So maybe you could bring us Emirates first class. Normally we do do quint contests because we're points guys. But maybe you could bring us Emirates first class. Normally we do do Qantas because we're points guys. But maybe you could take us business class to Emirates. We can fly over, spend some time with you, Sarah. What do you reckon? Do you approve both of those things?

Yeah, I approve all of it. Fuck Qantas. And my friends get to stay with me for 30 days free. And if we are family, you know, if we arrange a little marriage right now a little three-way marriage y'all get 90% off emirates flight hey it's sarah from new zealand and i approve this podcast Happy Friday. Very happy Friday. Oh, imagine saying very happy Friday in that stern way.

I have secret footage of Tony Lodge in the supermarket. Can people not film me in public? I feel like... Can you please stop telling other people what to do with their lives? I'm actually not enough of a celebrity for people to do that. I'm not like Hamish Blake or something. I'm literally no one. Are you saying it's fine to film Hamish Blake in the supermarket?

Oh, fuck you. What an invasion of privacy. Fuck you. But it's fine to film me. I think you should just watch the footage first. Okay. So let me just get the volume up here. And this is Tony Lodge.

Is it me picking my nose or something because that is potential tony lodge in the supermarket hey fancy seeing you here oh wait i'm sorry i just got back from japan so i'm still a little bit of down how are you i love this song we did this at karaoke in japan do i have weepix... Oh sorry, that's how they say um in Japan. No, I think I will guess wrong. Ichi, ni, I'll take ni. Oh, two! I'll take, sorry, I'm so sorry.

Pure green tea, I don't know, where's this from? Once you've had the real thing, it's just like, you can't trust this. You know, you can taste, you can just taste. I'm just, where's the international food aisle? Ooh, marshmallows are on sale. Ooh, you know what else they had in Japan? They had these round marshmallows are on sale oh oh you know what else they had in japan they had these round marshmallows had chocolate in the middle it's actually hard to explain oh yes ah matcha tea i'm home have you had these i'm home yeah this is for breakfast i just

got so used to having rice for breakfast every day i just don't think i can go back this will probably last me ichimi-san probably three days okay three days-ish. Okay. Ooh, Nick! LCM's a half price. Boring. Boring. I'm sorry. My taste buds just, they need more now.

You know what I mean? You can get them if you want, but just travel. Travel? Come on. Do you need toilet paper? Well, I mean, I guess so. I mean, I've kind of adapted

to the days, but I guess I'll need to get some. I hate the West. Oh, my God. Cherry Blossoms. Two for $13. It's not like the real thing, but it'll have to do. I might get four.

I might actually try paying with my travel card. See if I still have any yen on there. Probably not. I spent so much money on sashimi. Tony. That's why I was surprised you didn't know they were filming. That is NickWhite49 on Instagram. NickWhite is very funny.

So we've joked on the show about people who have been to Japan and are becoming their whole personality. To be fair, that isn't your whole personality. Thank you. You have some other aspects. And the thing is, is that when you say, oh, yeah, we get it, you've been to Japan, I haven't really been anywhere else. Well, but the fact that you've been to Japan twice.

I have been to Japan twice. Do you get to go anywhere in the world and you've got two options, both Japan, please? In my defence, some of Torbjorn's best friends live there, so we were visiting friends. Does that make it better? Oh, so you've got like a personal connection to Japan. Well.

So you know how people who go. Japan's awesome. I don't doubt it. I've never been. I wish I had. I wish you had too so we could talk about it. People who go to the USA or the UK and come back with an accent, how do we feel about that?

It is like it's not good, is it? No. But I do really like like when you go away on holiday and you do want to talk about it because you feel so happy, you've like learnt something new and you've been somewhere else. Like I get feeling like the main character while you're travelling and then you get back and you just, like, settle into your old life. I understand when people are like, oh, yeah, like, did I tell you that I've been, you know, away?

And, like, I'm not saying it's the right way to go about it, but I do respect it. Atapa in Germany, her name is Victoria, she said there's a thing in Germany called Australian Lisa. So a lot of people in Germany go to Australia for a year or so. It's almost like a rite of passage. Just like we Australians might go to London for a year or go to the US. Or people from Perth move to Melbourne. Yeah, exactly. So apparently the thing to do when you're in Germany is to go to Australia

for a year or an Australian summer or something like that. And because they come and, like, get jobs, like, on farms or, like, picking fruit or something like that, yeah. I think that's actually how the movie Wolf Creek starts. Really? Yeah, I think they're German girls that are backpacking here and then they get taken by Ivan Milan. Oh, so sad.

Sorry. Sorry, yeah, keep going. Well, anyway, some survive. Oh, yeah. Australia is beautiful. Yeah, beautiful going. Well, anyway, some survive. Oh, yeah. Australia's beautiful. Yeah, beautiful country. Tourism Australia, please. It turns out that when a lot of people get back to Germany,

the fact they've been to Australia is their personality. So if I went to Germany, my personality could be literally my personality. No. Oh. Yeah, but it's Germans going back home. Right. And being the guy in the supermarket. Oh, like, oh, yeah, they've got Tim. Where are the Tim Tams? Oh, it's so Germans going back home. Right. And being the guy in the supermarket. Oh, like, oh, yeah, they've got Tim.

Where are the Tim Tams? Oh, it's so cold here in Germany. When I lived in Bondi in Sydney for a summer, or when I was on the Gold Coast, we used to go to the beach. It's so different here in Germany. I love that so much. Or one thing that really does Victoria's gears is when they go, you've got a really strong German accent

and I've never really noticed it when we were growing up. But now that I've been to Australia and I've come back, now I can tell just how German you are. Wouldn't that fuck you off? It would fuck you off because you'd be like, you have a German accent too. Yeah, you fuckhead. Yeah, you've spent a year in the sun.

You haven't dried out. So you know what they call those people? They go, oh, we've got an Australian Lisa over here. That's what they're called. It's like a bit of a put down. Like, oh, Australian Lisa, been in the sun. I love that. And so it's like it's not a term of endearment.

It's like an eye roll. I like that. An Australian Lisa. And also, Tapa Victoria says, she goes, I've gone out on a limb. I've just found you guys and gone back to episode one when you talked about Tony's personality being from Japan. Yes. So she goes, I'm going out on a limb and hoping that in the last 400 episodes

no one else has messaged in first. And said this. And she goes, so I understand that you've probably got this a hundred times. And I was like, a hundred percent have not. Australian Lisa. On the show Rosehaven, it's like this Australian show set in Tasmania. Yep. And there's like a joke in the show where so the main character moves back

to Tasmania from Melbourne. Similar vibe. And every single time he bums into someone he, like, went to school with or whatever, they go, couldn't hack it on the mainland. And it's like a real, like, grating insult. Isn't that the same with Perth and Melbourne? It's the same with Perth, yeah.

So people from Perth, like me, move to Melbourne, spend a year, run out of money, and then they move home. And you go, back from Melbourne, are you? What a shit thing to say. And it is the worst thing to say. And so that's why when I finished school and high school and uni, I was like, no, I was like, I want to move as far away as I can. And now that I know that I don't have to move back, I would happily move back now that I know that I was like, no, I was like, I want to move as far away as I can. And now that I know that I don't have to move back,

I would happily move back now that I know that I don't, like, have to. But if I had, like, run out of money, I would have just, like, moved to Mars. Does the guy in Rosehaven know that he, like, didn't make it in Melbourne? Well, yeah, so he's kind of like, just here to help mum, kind of, like, with the family business or whatever. And they're like, yeah, couldn't hack it. He's like, oh, no, like, I had to help mum, kind of like with the family business or whatever, and they're like, yeah, couldn't hack it. He's like, oh, no, like I had to come back to help, and they're like, yeah, couldn't hack it.

What if you were back in Rollystone at Dome? There's no Rollystone in Dome. There's no Dome in Rollystone. Where's your local Dome? There's one in Kelmscott. Okay. I can go to the Kelmscott Dome on Albany Highway. So what if you're at the Kelmscott Dome?

Yeah, on Albany Highway. Yeah, and you go, g'day, I'll get the – what are those shit drinks you made us have? The espressos. Can I get an espressos? And they go, didn't you move over to Melbourne? Okay, so when we were in WA, in Perth – Before or after we were given COVID at a tarp of meat and grape? Yeah, before.

Before we had COVID, we weren't super spreaders. We went to Dome and there was a girl that I went to school working at the Dome. Yeah. And, like, I think she wants to be a manager there or something. And she went, oh. And I literally was just like, yep, just here for work. Don't live here.

Haven't moved back. Haven't moved back. Don't live in the basement of the family house. Just visiting. Yeah, just here temporarily over the weekend. Or should I pay on my personal card or on the work in Melbourne business card? Oh, sorry. Here's my driver's license.

It has my Melbourne address on it. Do you accept Melbourne dollars? Yeah. Because that's all I use. Oh, do you know what the time? Because my watch is still set to Eastern Standard Time. Melbourne time. Because that's where I live still.

Because I actually live there. Yeah, yeah. Not a nice watch, but it is set to Melbourne time because that's where I live still. Because I actually live there. Yeah, yeah. Not a nice watch, but it is set in Melbourne. Hey, it's Sarah from New Zealand and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon. And if you're part of the Patreon, any tier, your name should be scrolling along the bottom of this video episode so you can watch it inside Spotify on Fridays only.

And you're contributing to the hopefully 3,000 Patreon members, which will force us into a 50-hour livestream. 50 hours. We are tracking towards a Monday announcement. We hope. We hope. Big weekend ahead. Yeah.

Yeah. Of me signing up with a million accounts. Alex Boz, thank you so much. Luke Martinez, absolutely love to see it. Thanks, Luke. Thanks, Luke. Alex Herbst. Oh, that's Herbst.

Good. Anthony Hopkins. I actually just watched... What is... If you say Hannibal Lethar. Hannibal, yeah, the other day. What's going on at your house? Are you going all right?

I'm really into scary stuff at the moment. Want to say something scary? If you hold up a mirror, I'll be so upset. Oh, no, I was going to show you my micropenis. Oh. Is there a reason why you're going in and out? I don't know. I think that for a really long time, I have only watched things I've seen before

because I was just, like, really anxious all the time and I was like, I just can't handle something new. You need the comfort of. Yeah. And recently I've been watching heaps of new stuff. I'm really proud of myself. Ranching out. Yeah.

And so I've watched a lot of new stuff that I really like when I've spent the last few years of my life, like, watching The Incredibles over and over again. Mitchell Thatcher, thank you so much, and Kian Finn. That was a weird example. No, great. If that's what you like. But you know what I mean?

I'm just watching like real random shit that I've seen before. But anyway, yes, we're watching a lot of scary stuff over at my place at the moment. I'm loving it. Thanks for asking. Yes. It's a moment in time. All of them are. What did you say the other day? Oh, all time is history because it's time that's already passed. No,

you said the time keeps changing when Torbz wears a watch and I said it always changes. Every second. I actually don't, I actually can't. Okay. We're going to time. Would you call me? We're going to time it over if we do the 50 hour live live stream. We will set a watch to Torb's arm. We'll sit him down and we'll watch him. And do we want to go on Big Ben clock time or do we want to go on Torb's watch time? Well, we need to have a control line of variables. Yeah, which is the control would be like the Big Ben.

Sure. So you just said or do we go on Torb's watch time? Yes, that's the. You said or, so it didn't imply that you wanted to follow both because you said or. Well, I had to compare against the. Yeah, so both. Off air chat.

Off air chat. Nah, all good. You just fucked it up. That's okay. A moment in time. It is a moment in time. Do you know what a moment in time it is? No, I don't.

Do you not know? Should I know? I wouldn't say it's exciting, but I actually think this will blow your mind. Are you ready to have your mind blown? I do really like having my mind blown, like with facts and stuff. Is this a fact? It's a Friday. Fucked fact.

Is this a fucked fact? Well, you've fucking backed in a fucked fact if you have, so. Today's Friday. Uh-huh. This weekend is a year since we quit our jobs. A year ago today was our first, like we both finished on the Friday. We did actually finish on the same day, like by accident. Yeah.

And that was a year ago. It's like today. What? Yeah. How crazy is that? So year ago. It's like today. What? Yeah, how crazy is that? So this time- Are you serious? This time last year, there was no Pippa.

This time last year- No Mabel? No Mabel. And this time last year, Cam wasn't even born yet. Thank God. Yeah. Take us back. And just actually how different were our lives one year ago?

This being a Friday, we were getting up to like go to work and then like cram in a bunch of podcasting on the weekend. Yeah. You were like, should I get a dog? I was like, don't be a fucking idiot. Of course you should. Yeah. I was writing my book.

You're writing a book. Is that crazy to think about? That's insane. It feels like three weeks ago. It feels like three weeks ago. But then also if you were like, that was six years ago, I'd be like, okay. Yeah.

Like I'd believe. Three weeks slash ten years. Nothing in between. That's insane. Yeah. Should we do a hug? I feel like we should do a hug. Okay, you come to me.

Oh. Oh. There's people. Oh. Sorry, that was too long. Sorry. On Monday I'm going to be like, it was 368 days since we quit our job. Yeah.

Oh, a moment in time. A moment in time. Oh, well, to celebrate a whole year, I want to talk about things that you've had in your eye. Yep. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. I really like that you're celebrating our anniversary because one of our things this year was that we wanted to celebrate more.

How have we been going with that? Well, we cancel on each other a lot. Yeah. So should we celebrate something? I can't tell I've got dinner for the girls. No, I cancelled. I've got dinner for the girls. Nah, cancelled. Listen to tomorrow's ep if you want the fucking full backstory of that one. What did I say?

Tomorrow's. Tomorrow is Saturday. We don't do an episode on Saturday. Yeah, and also it hasn't happened yet, so good luck listening to that. Moment in time. Moment in time. But if you were. Unless you listen moment in time. But if you were... Unless you listen next week.

Yeah, if you were fucking... I'll tell you my favourite skit of all time is when David Cross does the pre-recorded chat show. So he does this TV show and he records it once a week, but it's a week in advance. And he's like, if you're watching, call in about last week's topic. Oh, you've sent me that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to try and explain that in a cut that out actually should we just start again for today coming up on the show today tony's been to japan twice um last week uh we during normal or nah um you brought up a normal or nah that was, is normal or nah, having something in your eye just being like a cancelable offence. Yeah. You should be able to just like empty your calendar for the rest of the day because there's just nothing that can bring you back from having something in your eye.

And because once you get the thing out of your, this is a bit of editorial from me, but once you get the thing out of your eye, your eye isn't the same. No, and you're rattled. You're fucking rattled and, like, it's not the same again until after you've had a sleep. It's like you need the eye to be closed for a long period of time to really, like, rejouge everything in there.

Have you ever been in a – I know you've been in a big car crash when you were younger. Have you ever been in, like, a small, like, you just bumped someone or something? Yep. Not a very good driver. I was in like a tiny, just bumped into someone once. Like drove into the back of them or something?

Yeah, we like clipped each other. Oh, yeah. And I just felt for the rest of the day, like then I got to work and they were like, oh, that sucks. Anyway, can you get on? And you're like. I'm really rattled. My car touched another car today.

Yeah. I can't do anything now. It is very stressful. I know I then came into the office, but I will not be partaking in work. But also because you don't feel like you can call them and be like, I've been in a car accident. Like, oh, my God, what happened? You're like, well, nothing really.

But I can't come in because I'm just feeling really like. I also remember like bumping into the back of someone and having to call my parents. And that is just the fucking worst feeling ever. Yeah. I'm not having children, but please. Is that to avoid that phone call? Well, yeah, because I can you just.

Pippa, I've crashed your car. Can you just promise me that when your kids, when your kids, when Mabel comes to you and says, like, this thing has happened, do not make them feel bad. They already feel fucking awful. Like, I don't know what it is about, like, telling a boss or a parent or something, like, that something's kind of minorly gone wrong, just, like, sends people into fucking oblivion.

It is the, you already feel like a piece of shit that you fucking like ran in the back of someone. You actually don't need your mum or dad then to be like, oh, well, why'd you do that? You go, well, I didn't fucking pick it. Otherwise I obviously would have picked not to do it. I tell you one of the happiest, strangely happy days of my life. This teacher was like, at parent-teacher interviews, was like having a go at me. And I was like, fuck, then mum's going to come home

and like let me know all about it. And mum just said back to the teacher, like just put it back on there. She like stood up for me. Oh, Mandy. Yeah. Because she goes, oh, Ryan's really struggling at school. And she goes, well, he's actually doing really well on every other subject except for yours.

So what's going on there? English, obviously. English teacher. Yep. Mr Cabal. Fuck that guy. What a cockhead. Yeah, he might. English teacher. Yep. Mr. Cabal. Fuck that guy. What a cuck. Yeah, he might be dead now.

Good. Anyway, things you've had in your eye. On Instagram, I put up a question box and it was like, what is the worst situation or the worst thing you've had in your eye? And when you posted this, were you like, everyone be civil? We'll get to that. I got some actually fucked responses and I'm not going to. Did you? Yeah. And when you posted this, were you like, everyone be civil? We'll get to that. I got some actually fucked responses and I'm not going to- Did you?

Yeah. One person said that they were ripping open a packet of chicken, like chicken breast, and they got like the raw chicken juice in their eye. Isn't that just the most upsetting thing you've ever thought about in your life? There's something about raw chicken that just really- Oh, isn't there? Sets me right off. My sister can't touch any raw chicken, so she cooks the whole breast

and then, like, forks it apart. Like, because she's like, I just can't slice it, so she'll, like, cook it and then she'll, like, shred it, you know, when you have, like, forks it apart. Like, because she's like, I just can't slice it. So she'll, like, cook it and then she'll, like, shred it, you know, when you have, like, pulled pork or whatever. When I was in Thailand, they don't have the same kind of, like, food safety health standards as some other places. And I was at the service station filling up my scooter with petrol. Yeah.

You had a scooter? Yeah. That's sick. Do you know, I've been thinking about maybe getting a little Vespa, like a little one. We also walked past a tennis club the other day and you decided to become a member. I would like to become a member of a tennis club.

You're in impulse phase. Yeah. Can you write down, call the tennis club, please, producer Ken. So when I was filling out my- You're not writing anything down. Thank you. Please don't write anything. When this other scooter comes-

Who do you consider more of your boss, Ryan or me? Because you listen to him and not me. I'd like to leave, please. We'll leave and go to the fucking tennis club. Sign us up. This other scooter comes in and the guy on the front's driving the scooter and there's a guy just sitting on the back holding two big plastic bags, unrefrigerated, just plastic bags full of, like, multiple chicken bits.

And they must have been just, like, driving to the restaurant to, like, deliver the goods. And he's just holding, while sitting on the back of a motorbike, just two clear see-through bags of just chicken bits. That would make you a vegan, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, that's fucked.

I'll never eat chicken again. What, Zinger? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we'll have those little sticks that you put in the bain-marie at the fucking service station. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

Yes, that really bothered me. My friend Amy Lunardi, our friend who's a buyer's advocate, property buyer's advocate, she had a whole long hair wrapped around her eyeball. How the fuck does that happen? Trigger warning, B2 dubs. Yeah, isn't that the most- Is that a B-saw?

No, a B-saw is like a plug in your tummy. I just think hair in places it shouldn't be is a B-saw. It's a fucking eye saw. Anyway, the whole long hair wrapped around her eye. So obviously like during the night it must have- I don't know. She's got long hair too. She does, yeah.

But there's no excuse for that, Ames. No. I'll be honest. Get a headband or a pair of scissors. Braid it up. I don't know. Do something. Sleep outside.

Someone else said that they were walking and someone threw a sticky butt out their car window and it flew directly into their eye. What the fuck? Isn't that just like, what are the odds of that? Is that worse than chicken juice? I would fucking hurt. They're both pretty fast, yeah. The chicken juice would, like, be unsettling, like, in your tummy,

but the Stiggy would fucking hurt. Yeah. And a bit of ash, that just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. Someone said that they were, like, at a dinner party and a dog kind of got a bit excited and bit a wine glass. Because, you know, like a wine glass.

A bit excited and very excited. Yeah, very excited dog. Dumb dog. Obviously a big dog as well. Yep. Bit the wine. Because, you know, wine glass are really fine? Like a light bulb if you stepped on one of those.

Do you remember when you did do that? That the wine glass sprayed up and the wine and the glass went in the eye. Glass is freaky. Eyes are freaky. Bad combo. Someone said thataky. Eyes are freaky. Bad combo. Someone said that they were putting on liquid eyeliner and they accidentally put themselves in the eye and they were crying and their tears were black.

That's actually pretty gangster. Which is pretty crazy. It's very Wednesday Addams. You'd really, yeah. You'd pay for that. If you were in your emo phase, you'd post a photo of that on MySpace, hands down. And then go and watch Short Stack.

Yes. Sway, sway, baby. Yeah. Someone was watching fireworks and a bit of the ash went in their eye and burnt their cornea. Yep. I've been to a, when you're at like a bonfire. Yeah. Just getting like a real bit of smoky like. It you're at like a bonfire. Yeah.

Just getting like a real bit of smoky like- It burns your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yuck feeling. And obviously I got sent a million cum stories. There were- I can't even count how many cum stories.

Oh, cum in the eyeball. I've never- It's never happened to me. I can't imagine it's very nice. No. Nothing going in your eye is good. No. But this one gets a special mention because it's never happened to me. I can't imagine it's very nice. No. Nothing going in your eye is good. No. But this one gets a special mention because it's very good.

I was in full drag and got semen in the eye from a bathroom blowy with a go-go boy right before performing. Still went on stage, though. Yeah. You fucking love to see that. The show must go on. And, yeah, they're in full drag, so imagine some of their fucking false eyelashes got stuck together and stuff. Yeah. You fucking love to see that. The show must go on. And, yeah, they're in full drag, so imagine some of their fucking false eyelashes got stuck together and stuff.

Yeah. That's not falling off during the show, is it? No, that's still right on. But, yeah, you fucking love to see that. You fucking love. Jeez, they're living a better life than us, though, aren't they? Oh, yeah, that's fun. I mean, what else are you doing on a Tuesday afternoon?

I'm doing nothing as fun as that. No. Yeah. I wish I was having half the fun of that. I could come in your eye fun as that. No. Yeah. I wish I was having half the fun of that. I could come in your eye. If you want. Sorry. That wasn't the part, obviously, that you were referring to.

Do you have a you love to say it? I do. Good. I'm mesmerised by callous cutting videos. Callous cutting. Let me send it to you and everyone can watch it on the video show so you can watch the video today. But basically, it's this podiatrist, like, cutting off all the manky dead skin.

Oh, Ryan, it has a sensitive content warning. Yeah, that's how good it is. Oh, watch anyway. Why is the fucking Titanic song playing in the background? Yeah, it's an interesting song choice. This is all my algorithm shows me now. Is this sort of satisfying though? I've seen enough

Can I be honest with you? You wouldn't want that to go in your eye No Would ya? No Can I be honest? Please The first time I saw

There was a link to it You got a boner I misread what it said What did you think? What it actually says Is doctor destroys patient's pus. Yeah, I mean, pus and pussy, they're different, aren't they? In my experience. And I was like, destroys the...

And then looked at it and I was like, this isn't what I thought of, but I just cannot stop watching. Yeah, and you jerked off anyway. Yeah, and then just jizzed all over my phone. But when they get a real deep, dirty one, I don't have to like cut it out. That's okay. I actually love to see it.

That's okay. And if people ever see a pimple popper or a blackhead removal and they think it's a really fucking good one, tag me in it because I love that shit. I really, I have to be in the mood for it when it pops up and i'm not ready i have to swipe away it puts me in the mood remember i went through that phase where i used to watch that turkish um old man give people massages yeah that's quite wholesome though is it yeah because he's like doing the haircut and he's like slapping

him and doing the ear up and stuff i like that but now this it's like they're competing that is disgusting though i reckon the turk guy might, if you asked him, he'd work the callus as well. He'd do the whole body. Can we go to Turkey and... I'd like to go to Turkey, yeah. Just for that? Not for that.

I'll do a side trip. You could do that. Yeah, I'll take an afternoon. Maybe go to the beach or something. And do anything else. Yeah, go and have some Turkish delight. They just call it delight there. Yeah.

That's very funny. My love to see is from Belinda in our Facebook group. Hi, Belinda. Hi, Belinda. My sister, this is, it ends well. My sister had to be tested for uterine cancer. Oh, yeah, and you love to see it, don't you? Yeah, after two months of nail biting and tears,

so two months I had to wait to find out the results, she got negative results back. And I mean negative as in it is negative, not it's a negative outcome. Negative news. You love to see that. My sister is my best friend. I'm so happy right now.

Belinda, we love to see that. And we're very happy for your sister as well. We've been through something very similar. So, fuck, I love to see that. Beautiful. What a relief. Oh. And the months of waiting are just fucking torture too.

Would you, and I don't know how long it would last, but just really start appreciating, like you think something really bad is going to happen, then you find out you're all good, and then you'd walk outside and be like. Yeah. Well, so when I thought that I had breast cancer last year, that was really scary. And it was like the days between kind of having to do all the biopsies

and stuff and then actually finding out they were tough. Because you're just trying to keep yourself busy. And I was writing my fucking book at the time. So I had a lot of work to do. And then when I found out, it was like, but I was trying to stay positive and I was like, well, I can't change it. If this is what it is, like, we just have to deal with it. Then when I found out that it wasn't true, remember, I fell over,

walked down the stairs, fell over, arse over tit in the street. But then I got in the car and, like, bawled because it was, like, all of that. So I think, yeah, it's like you've got to get it all out and then you're like, I can't believe I've missed that bullet, you know. Well, I hope your sister Belinda hasn't stacked it like Tony did. Yeah. Because Tony can really ruin a Kodak moment.

I did really, yeah. And it was during COVID so even Torbs couldn't be there with me. Sorry, did I say Kodak moment? Yeah, I don't... No one was taking photos of me, I'm sure. No, but, like, where's that? Was that, like, a... The Kodak moment was, like, the brand Kodak.

A saying back in the 90s? Yeah, because it was, like, Kodak did the films and the cameras and stuff. So it was, like, a Kodak moment is, like, worth taking a photo of. I just don't know where I've been holding on to that little saying. And do you remember also Mr Worldwide, he did that. Oh, right, picture that, take that with a Kodak. Remember? Well, the word Kodak doesn't sound right, does it?

No. Is Kodiak, that's the bear, isn't it? Have you watched the movie Zodiac? The Jake Gyllenhaal one? It's so sad because at the end. Who did it? You don't know. You watch the fucking movie.

They finger you for two hours. You're about to come. Then they go, well, we still don't know who it was. Like literally you get jerked off for two hours, you're about to come, then they go, well, we still don't know who it was. Like, literally, you get jerked off for two hours and then you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, end of the movie. Titles fucking roll. So who did it?

I should have just fingered myself at home. Waste of time. Anyway, we'll be back on Monday, hopefully with an announcement. Hopefully with an now on the podcast live stream. Tony's whatever movie

she's watching era, I'm all about it. Thank you. I feel like I'm just, I've got a real stiff neck at the moment so I feel like I'm like

doing the robot. took a bike a couple of hours ago and got stuck. Ow. I have to work with her every day. For a whole year.

You have so far. Your hands look good. Thank you. Oh, your hands are nice and warm. Thank you. They're in my pants. Yeasty. Anyway, see you on Monday.

Hopefully we'll have an announcement about the 50-hour live stream. The marathon. Not the one that we're running. It was okay. Yeah. Yep. Drink some water not the one that we're running. Are you okay? Yeah. Yep. Drink some water. We'll see you on Monday.

Have a good weekend. Enjoy your 15 parties this weekend. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Bye.