Toni and Ryan - We Are Going On A Renovation Reality Show

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Toni's Tech Tips - Confessions - Block chat- love ya!!!!!Tell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If we were on the block, you have to be there to tell them what to do and get the order right. Well, we can't put the tiles down until the waterproofing's done. We can't get the electrician in because the light's not here yet. Or if the buyer hasn't come back with the lights and the electrician can't put the lights in because they're not there. That's made me so stressed. Hi, I'm Laura from Ireland. Hi, I'm Steenna. And this is cool.

Hi, I'm Richel from Beinley, Queensland. And I'm here. This podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. A scandalous confession coming up soon. Best selling doctor author Tony Lodge is over here. Thank you. Now, we said last week we're going to do Tony's tech tips.

And the irony is that the brouhaha to figure out how to get the screen working looked like the opposite of the kind of person that should be giving tech tips. No, that's okay because maybe next week that can be the tip. How to figure out how to mirror your phone to the TV. And now it's time for Tony's tech. Tip. Oh, well, whilst that is an amazing intro. Yeah.

Oh, you got your own. I have. Okay, I'll shut the fuck up. Charles? Because he used to be an audio producer. I know how much you hate intros. I do. And I...

Do you want to update your stance on them? I was... Hang on, from the top. Ah, just the tip, tip, tip. Got tech tips. I should have screen recorded myself doing it like you did with your lightroom tutorial the other day. Yeah, think of the people.

Sorry. Here we are wondering how you did it. Well, yeah, I... See you tomorrow, everyone. Do you like that? Yeah. Do you like that? We barely have time for the tip now.

You've always got time for the tip. Always time for the tip. But pretty fun. I'm glad I did my little fucking intro. Yeah. Well, after we discussed how it was like so funny and retro like to a tech tip, I was like, this is very radio. And I was like, well, I could make it even more radio if we want.

You wouldn't believe it. Yeah. And so I made that yesterday. Took me about 45 minutes. Nice one. Worth it. Yeah. Absolutely worth it.

I had a great time. I sent it to Torbs. He goes, oh, you could change the EQ on that. And I went, yeah, I'm actually not here for an air check. Thank you, though.

Oh, sorry, mate. I actually wasn't asking for your opinion. Thanks, though. So my tech tip, though, is pretty good. I'm just about to screen mirror my phone,

so you'll be able to see it. So, you know when you want to send someone a photo in a text message and you have to like click the button and then you go to photo. I'm not going to click it because obviously it's going to go to my photos.

I don't know what's in there. I should have. No, no, go on. Let's have a look. No, it's not important. What could be in there? But then you have to click it, and there's all those menus that takes forever. Yeah. If you do a long press on the PLAS, come straight out.

Oh, it's just pictures of PIP up. That's fine. Oh, I had a watch band and Charles eating chicken. That's fine. What are you and Charles on a chicken date there? Yeah, we did go to chicken shop date because Amelia de Maldenberg is closing hers down, so we're trying to carry it on. So, hang on, you just hold the button.

So when normally you have to go PLAS, then you go photos, and it's just like takes so long. If you do a long press on the plus, it opens your photos straight away. You're about to see a text message come through. You hold down on the plus. Oh shit. It's quite good. I think you got a text.

Can I open it? Like what else is in our text before that? Oh yeah, we're screen sharing. Go on. I'm just going to stop sharing. No, go on, share it. No. No, no, it's actually fine.

Oh, it's wrong to be the finger. Hit it, Charles. That was. Just the TTIT tip. I want some tech tips, baby this evening. I need some tech tips. Baby tonight. You've got Tertips.

I would like to propose an idea for next week. Yeah. I like the intro. But I think I wanted a designated outro. Oh, yeah, okay. So is it kind of like, this is tech tips. And then the answer is like, that was tech tips. Yeah.

Well, so the you've got tech tips is obviously like a play on you've got mail. Yeah. Yeah. So I can come up with a post, a post game ritual. Yeah, that's fine. Like you've been tipped. That's good. You know, like.

Yeah. That was my, oh, tear. Or do you have a bit of like, it starts with a, oh, that was amazing. What a great tip. Yeah. Wow, my brain's bigger now. Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll work with that.

Watch this space. All right, now it's time for confessions. These are top confessions. Which I sing by myself because I don't have an audio engineering background. These are top confessions. That's just like I post my photos without the vignette on them because I don't know how to do it. Don't you dare bring vignettes into this. They're also called vinegarets.

Yeah, you do always call them. them of vinegar and I have to just not take it on. Confession from a tarpa. Hello. Oh, anonymous. Big time. Whoa. I am sleeping with a husband.

Obviously not. Oh, sorry. And typing this submission. I am sleeping with a husband and a wife at the same time and they both don't know about it. Oh, so not in like a three-way situation. Separately, neither of them knows. that I know. I moved to a new city a few months ago

and did what everyone does, downloaded the apps, fresh start. He did what everyone does. Has the three-simile. Yeah, fucked a husband and wife. Met a guy,

funny, sweet, traveled a lot for work. We got invested in each other pretty quickly. Then he got busy, a bit more distant. You know how it goes. Sure.

So I started seeing other people and then I meet her on this app. She's beautiful. She's sweet. The kind of person you don't expect to find on a dating app. She eventually told me that she did have a husband, though she suspected he was having an affair.

So they're not open. They're both cheating on each other. Yeah. Oh, that is heartbreaking. Okay. What do we think of this? She's like, I think my husband's cheating. So, and I've kind of got a little inkling for girl.

So I'm just going to have a bit too. I don't think, like two wrongs don't make a right, you know. She wanted a little something for herself. Yeah, I mean, even that like the gender is not important. I don't think it matters who your husband cheats on you with or who your wife cheats on you with. But if you thought they were cheating on you, surely you would be like, is something going on rather than go, well, they might imagine if they weren't. Yeah. And then you go and do it.

You're like, oh, sorry, I was just trying to get you back. The more she described the husband, the more I started to realize. Oh. Same trips, same cities, same timing, same aged kids. She goes, oh, and I went around to the house and I went, I've been fingered in this bed before. I've been unknowingly sleeping with a married couple. He doesn't know about her arrangement. She doesn't know about his.

Neither of them know that I've figured it out. I've been sitting on this for a week. I genuinely have nobody to tell, but I have to tell someone. So I'm telling the Tarpers, that is my confession. good confession. Great confession. Fuck, that is so stressful. But it's not on,

it's not on the tarpa to, like, she is sleeping with a consenting adult, two consenting adults separately. Like, would you say something? Or would you cut it off just to be like, oh,

this is really messy? I think the drama is great. And I wouldn't want to miss that. Oh, nah. See, I would be like, oh, fucking let me moon walk out of here. I don't know how this is going to end, but I don't want to miss out.

Sure. There's a movie happening here, and I don't want to miss the ending, you know what I mean? And when you know that you've actually done nothing wrong, you're like, well, I don't have a dog in this fight.

Well, yeah, the Tapa hasn't done anything wrong. Like, they didn't specifically go after a married person. Like, that's not the... Fuck. I think that I would have to peace out.

I would just be like, hey, I think I've met someone, like... How about this? you say to the husband hey let's meet at the jama blue at northland at 10 a.m. on Saturday. Oh, that is like parent trap shit. Yeah.

And then you say that they go, hey, you wouldn't want to get a coffee at Jamaica Blue and Northland on Saturday morning at 10 a.m. And she goes, fuck, try and keep me away from the Jamaica Blue at Northland. And so he goes, oh, I'm going out. And she goes, oh, cool. Yeah, I might go out as well. And they go, okay. And they both leave the marital house.

They both get a park at Northland because it's easy to find a park there. They go, you wouldn't go to the Dunkin' Donut for a lot. coffee no I'm actually meeting someone at Jamaica Blue and they rock up and see each other. And you and the Tapper. Oh no, I reckon let there be. Or does she turn up there as well? Well, because do they both go, hi babe and then like, oh, wait, like that Spider-Man me.

Oh, what are you doing here? Oh, what are you doing here? Oh, oh, oh, oh, maybe the Tapa does have to be there. I think the Tapa has to be there because otherwise they're like, wait, why are you here? Oh, but though that would still unravel. Yeah. But you'd be like at the cafe down the road watching in the distance being like,

oh. Oh, I think I would have to piece out. Okay. You're sitting at Jamaica Blue. Yeah, which I often am. They both rock up.

What do you say? What do you say? Have I invited them? Both of them. Like, so I've invited them and I'm waiting for them. You're creating the chaos, yeah. Yeah, okay.

I probably go, I think we need to talk. Is there anything we need to talk about? Yeah. Any thoughts you guys? You know? And just kind of leave it open and go, I've already ordered a Mugachino extra hot. Do you guys want anything?

Piping hot. I'm going to have to actually let that cool for a second. The old people just scolding their fucking throats. How do they do it? How do they do it? As you get older, do you lose sensation in your throat? I will probably. Maybe the reason they don't have any sensation in their throat

is because they've burnt it off. can extra hot. And then it's just like it's an unsatiable quench of heat. Wow. Is some words that exist. Yeah. And some people throw them together like a little bit of scrambled egg. Is there an interesting part where a husband and wife could like compare notes about the other one?

Well. Oh, that's crazy. And then like a week later like she's a pretty good kiss. It's a pretty good kiss. It's a social experiment. And the husband and wife aren't really husband and wife. but it's an episode of Nathan for you and they both are waiting to see

whether the typo will say anything. Blew off your head and out to mine. But is there like, do other husband and wife just acting? Like they're just friends and they're like, hey, why don't we both do this and just see if they will or will not say anything? Acting.

I don't know if you know much about acting, but it is just pretending. Imagine this. Yeah. Someone goes, I've got an idea for a social experiment and you're like, how interesting. What do you need me to do? and they go, I just need you to fuck this hot girl.

And you go, oh, my rate's just gone up. Yeah, and you're like, oh, and you're going to have to do it like a few times and, like, create a bond with someone who's actually quite lovely in tender. And you go, oh, no. And you're going to have to go on a work trip to Paris. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I think I can help you out, actually. Yeah, you know what?

I think I am free on Friday night. Yeah, all good. But what if it's that? And the couple, fake or not, they are, like, waiting to see whether the tapas says anything. So they're at La Trobe Union and they're like doing a part of it. PhD in like social studies. Yes. And they're like Danielle went to film school with the person filming.

Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. Imagine. Imagine. And do you reckon the Tapper is hearing this now being like, oh my God, what if it is?

I'm getting got. I'm on Nathan Fielder for you. Well, he did graduate from a Canadian business school with pretty good grades. So it would make sense. Check out. Watch this space. I am now desperate to know. Do you think that?

That's possible, or are they just both scumbags cheating on each other? I want to live in the world where I'm Ryan. Always. Maybe we'll do a follow-up, though. I need to know. I think that one may have a name. I reckon I can find that one. Let's find them.

I mean, anonymous, though. Respect it. Hi, I'm Laura from Ireland. Hi, I'm Steenna. This is good. We're from Lorry. I'm Rochelle from Beanley, Queensland. And you're listening to turn to my mind.

I'm as a shout-out to a few of our champion tarpas over at our Patreon. None called Stacey though, so I'm not going to get got like I did yesterday. That's fine. Also, are we ready to move? We just had a deep dive and like what we would do if our partners were cheating on us. Like, have we, have we dusted that off? Are you okay? I think I am, but like, are we a bit?

It feels like fucked to talk about because I just can't imagine a world where towards or I would cheat on each other. That's what everyone says. Yeah, totally. Yeah. You never think it's going to be. be you. And then it is. Yeah, what 1,000%? Yep. Yep. And then you're sharing your husband with some flusy from the narc, you know? Charles. It just happens like that sometimes.

Charles, please don't have sex with my husband. At the mark. Would that make you jealous if it was Charles? Um, yeah, it would make me, oh, I don't know about jealous. It would make, I would just jealous because I've got that too. Because, yeah, don't worry about it. But like, it, I would be heartbroken. Yeah. To think that he would. do that. I know that he wouldn't, but everyone says that until it fucking happens, you know, but like, I would be more heartbroken to be like, oh, if you were thinking about cheating on me and then you actually went through with it, like, if you kind of were like, oh, you know, like, I feel like I'm having these thoughts where I'm maybe not having super faithful thoughts or

something. And then he said to me, like, I've been thinking, I haven't done anything, but I've been thinking this, I'd be like, oh, well, all right, is there something wrong with our, like, is there, you know, do you feel like, we're not that connected? Are you just not attracted to me? Like, you know, I would hope that we could have that conversation. But to go through thinking that and then making it happen would be the same way that I reckon like a drunk patch is different to organize to sleep with someone. Yeah. Yep. You know? Yeah, it's like you haven't been building up and planning for this. And I think that that would feel really different

The same way that a kiss even And then being like, wait, what the fuck am I doing And then not going through with the rest of it Would feel different to me To someone that could go through the whole shebang So to speak. Don't you reckon? So the word shebang is just a crazy word to use there

Because it just hits you from every angle Does it literally, yeah She does bang. Yeah. But you know what I do you reckon? Yeah. Would that feel the same for you? I reckon though there are different now that you've said that

The same way that I reckon it would be different if your partner went to a sex worker versus like sleeping with someone that they worked with or met at the gym or something. Like I just think there is like lots of different way like cheating in my mind. I know that this like will make people upset. But cheating in my mind isn't like just black and white. I think there's lots of different. I think it also depends on how long you've been together. Like say Tobs and I met last month and he passion another girl, I'd be like, that's not worth it to me.

Yeah, we're still in that phase. Like I would just be like, oh, I won't keep pursuing this. So on the scale then, where does when... Fuck, I'm going to regret saying this if you ever does shit on me like, when... He's just taking notes. He's just, he's just taking notes. It's cool, get drunk first.

So what's allowed? Yeah, what's fine. When he cheats on you in your dream and you get mad at him where we... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes me mad. Okay.

But was he drunk at the time or was it a plan? I feel hurt in the dream and I wake up and I'm like, I know what that feels like now. know. Yeah. Anyway, massive shout out to a few of our chat. You're right, we weren't ready to move on. Yeah. I appreciate the debrief. Do we need to like light some stuff on fire? No, I feel good. I just, I know that he would never and I would never do that to him either. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think we have a very respectful relationship where if either of us were having those kinds of thoughts, we would bring it up. Yeah. I reckon Jerry Springer is going to love that we've got this

on footage now. Oh yeah. Totally. He plays this in 15 years. He's dead. Is he? Jerry Springer. Yeah. Yeah, dead. Who's the new Jerry Springer? Mary Kringer.

Mary. Mary. When you're on the Mary Kringer show in 15 years, like, she originally said it would never happen. And now, she can't keep her hands off anyone. Washed up podcaster. And local root rat is just dominating the scene of the northern suburbs in Melbourne. Turns out local podcaster was fucking local podcaster.

Ryan Tron the whole time. The whole time, right in front of us all. Who was, um, Ricky Lake. I loved Ricky Lake. Ricky, Ricky, Ricky. Because that was on like midday on Channel 7. Yeah. A massive shout out to you of our TV.

I don't know how much of that you would have heard. There might have been a few edits. That's fine. I can leave most of it in. Amanda Carlson, good on you, Amanda. Issy B.H. Good on you, Izzy. Lee Jobson.

Is he be cheating? Is he B.H. Izzy Bhaven. Oh! You welcome. That was excellent. Thank you. Your hat matches your shirt.

It matches your body. Vigana. It will look good on your floor. The hat? Yeah, I can't go down with a hat on. I don't my dicky knee from... I hate Saturday. You're just poking me in the tummy like this with the fucking...

A-Lay good on you. I lay Belinda McDonald. Carl Bokham. Hannah Hawkins Camp. Fucking saves them names. Boris Vazana. Elliot, DRMC and Peter Rodriguez. Peter Rodriguez has been a champion, like on and off for a while, Pete.

So thank you very much for being part of it. Appreciate it, Pete. Yep. If you're a champion Tapa in the next few weeks, you may be getting a Tony and Ryan calendar. Yes. For 27, more on that scene. You're excited because my kitchen rules is on your favorite TV show.

My favorite TV show is The Block. Now, I have a few years where I just don't watch it, and then sometimes it back this year, I'm pretty back. I reckon I'm 80% in. There have been, because you and Charles both watch it. There's been some discussions in the office though about this season.

It's off. Do you care to share with the tarpers, how you feel about it? It's a renovation show. Is the block only in Australia or is it like the Australian version? Like there is a block USA. It started in Australia. They made a New Zealand one.

Oh, cool. And then that got canned. Shit. And there might be some similar ones. But I think it's an Aussie-made. That's cool. It was Jamie Jury was the OG of the blog. Manpower.

Yep. And. Gardening Australia now. Have you seen his fucking house? It's amazing. He's selling it for $30 million. You guys need to Google Jamie Jury. D-U-R-I-E.

His house, he's created like an entirely eco house. And it's like seven stories on a clifffront. Like it is fucking beaut. What is that? That's a real person's house. It looks like. That's fucking crazy. Isn't that unbelievable?

For anyone watching on YouTube, we've got it on screen, it's absolutely crazy. Isn't that now? Is that the first time you're seeing that, Charles? You've got to like a cable car down the side do? Yep. That's crazy.

Yeah. Because that's how you get your boat down to the, because the water's down here. But I also reckon that like the car park's at the bottom. And there's all stairs there. But yeah, you'd want to get the little gondola up. He did like an episode of...

Hang, go one left. And click on that one left. one. The real estate. No. The one that looks out the window. That one. Oh, look at that.

View of the water. The mountains in the, in the background. Northern beaches. Fuck. What did you just say? 33 million. Something like that he wanted. Yeah.

He did like an episode of something where he showed up, like it was on Channel 7 where he showed off the whole house. And I was watching it like. And it's, because it's all eco, it's like, is free to run. Yeah. Like, so it's like there's water power. There's, like, all of the, it's insulated by plants. Yeah, like.

So it's like got moss on the roof. It's its own ecosystem. Yeah, like the moss on the roof insulates the house so you don't need aircon, but they keep growing. And then when it rains, it waters those. It's just, it's unbelievable. Anyway, sorry to get off topic, but fuck me. You can get on topic if that's the topic any day.

So go and fucking look at that house and jerk off later, because you'll like that. The thing that's wrong with this season of the block is they said it's a coastal one and they're like the brief is minimalism, light and bright. Well, that's a coastal home, eh? They're always like that. Boring. It's so, they're like, the brief is boring.

And then every week the contestants make boring rooms and they judges come in and go, it's a bit boring. And I'm just like, well, what the fuck do you fucking want? Who sets the brief, the judges? Darren Palmer. I actually like Darren Palmer. You can tell that he is. Is he a judge on it?

He's a judge. And you can tell that him and Marty Fox don't like each other. And it's really funny. Because Darren will say like a joke and I don't think he's joking. And Marty's like, and I'm like, I don't think he's joking.

Anyway. Tension on the set of the block. There's off. Oh, who's who? Sorry, I'm seeing the judges. Darren Parma on the right. With a stripy show. And Marty Fox is the other one.

And Shane ablaze in the middle. Marty's got a bit of a crazy goate at the moment, which is not working for him. Okay. Looks like a magician. Yeah. Everyone was a go-dey looks like a magician. He doesn't look like a magician.

I've never even seen him, but I'm, they all look like a magician in the real estate game. We've got another onsuit. Like, you know. Like, oh. Behind those doors. Another kitchen. A powder room. Yeah.

Oh, butlers panting. Oh my God. You wouldn't believe. Oh, he does look like a magician. He looks like a magician. Oh, we get it. You got a Rolex. Yeah.

He really does. Like, fucking who cares. So. here's one of... Can you take the magician away, Charles? I can't be looking at that. Yeah. All right.

Sorry, just the response to his sake, did it look like a minute? Yeah. So on the block, you kind of end up unofficially with one of two jobs. As the renovation's going, there's usually one person

who has to like go out and buy the stuff. Because it's like regular couples, right? Yeah. Well, sometimes there's like a father-daughter this year. and sometimes it's sisters or friends or whatever, but there you go. But usually just the way it plays out, one person has to go and buy like, you go find the right tiles or you go find the right table for the kid. And so, and then there's the other person that's like back at their thing,

like doing the building and getting it done. So they never say like, who's the buyer and who's the builder? But over the years, it just, you've, I just. Naturally. And so I was saying it's Bridget. If we were on the block. Oh my God, this is exactly where my mind just went in. But for you and I, not me.

Yeah, yeah, we'll get to us. But I said to Bridge, oh, like, I would probably be the buyer, hey. And she goes, no, I couldn't trust you. Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, why are we all laughing? No, I'm listening to you. I'm just listening to you. Why are you laughing? Why are you back looking into it?

I'm just listening to you. I'm just listening to you. I'm just listening to. Okay, so this is the same response that Bridgett had. Mm-hmm. And then I said, let me give it to you on the flip side. Would you trust me to be the one building it? And Bridget goes, so true.

And then I go, well, which one would I be suited to? And she just went, no. Maybe you're the magician. I do the piece to cameras. They go, yeah, we've only got two days to get the waterproofing in. And it's going to be tough, but the boys are going to get around it. And so I don't disagree, but I was like, well, yeah, I have to be one of them. And she was like, no, I would do all the shopping and all the building.

And I would just please. Yeah. Stay away. Yeah. And there's one. Look after my board. one duo, I say duo because it's the father-daughter, where the daughter's not allowed to do stuff. And she's like, I just want to help that.

Yeah, those two. And the dad's like, don't you fucking touch that paintbrush. Oh, okay. And he's like, oh, I think we need a different fork. And she goes, cool, I'll go to the shops and try and find a cool one. He's like, great, sweetie. Oh. But would you go on the block with someone who wasn't trusted to do either job?

I don't think it's her not being trustworthy. I think he's like a, I know how I want it done. But then why would you go on the block? with somebody that, do you know what I mean? Yeah. And so we're kind of like, yeah, you've got to let them, we're here on a contest, we've got to do it. So Tony Lodge, if you and I are on the block.

Yeah. And I want you listening or you watching to think about if you and your friend or you and your partner were on this renovating show, are you, can you be trusted as the buyer to nail the design brief, buy stuff that actually looks good, stuff that fits the rest of the house. As we sit here on our mustard corduroy seats. Oh, I don't think about it's a fucking pink coffee table. We've got this coffee table.

We've got two coffee tables that are exactly the same in the office. And we can't get rid of them. We can't. There were 700 bucks. We couldn't sell it for 30 bucks at the Campbell Market the other week. It's that shit. For me, it's the homie towels that just randomly aren't bathed house. that when I think about the things that you've randomly bought,

don't worry, I'm getting to me as well. That I've contributed to our workplace. On the work. Like, you didn't like out of the generosity of your heart. No, I went to,

I thought of us and I went, wouldn't it be nice to have some nice, colourful towers in our fun, colourful workplace? Why don't I spend some of my time? Because Bridget said no. Why don't I spend my time and effort and thought? And I'll go,

yeah. And money. I'll, hook us up with some towers that can be used in the bathroom or at a beach. Because you never know what situation you'll find yourself in. Although in the bathroom, the situation is usually in the bathroom. Yes. Yeah, but imagine if one day we needed to take a towel to the beach.

So true. You know? I know a bathroom. Um, okay. So the thing about being the buyer is, as you said, you've got a, everything has to work together. And everything has to be the right measurement. which is not my strong suit. I don't reckon that would be as hard

because you have floor plans and drawings that you could in theory give to the person at beacon lighting and say, well, here's the things. You have no idea what I'm capable of. I could still fuck it up from that. I think it's like the most important thing is a quick decision.

Because you've got a week to build. Yeah. You've got to go in Monday, Tuesday and order it because it's two days to build it. It arrives Thursday. We've got to fuck a put it. in by Friday. See, that I think I could do because there isn't time to ruminate on a decision.

You've just got to do it. But I don't have great taste. Like, and I'm comfortable saying that. Like, I actually just don't think that I, I'm good at, like, probably following a trend or picking a color. But I don't think that I would ever do something that was like outside of the, you know, when sometimes you watch things like the block and they do something so creative and you're like, how did you even come up with that? Mine wouldn't be creative.

I said to Tony once about her. I was like, have you thought about, you know, like, doing this or doing that? And I'm like, and get any interior designer, I'm trying to go. I'm like, I wouldn't know how to do it. I'm like, that's what the interior designer is for. And we, and we actually should because I think there's a lot of like unused space in our, like our house is really small, but I think we could use it a bit better. So do you think you'd be good though at you get to the store and you go, here's this,

here's that. What do you reckon I trust you? Yeah. I could, I could absolutely do. And they go, well, this one or this one. I'd go, that one in Burgundy. I could do that. That was good.

I could do that. I'm also thinking about, though, the flip side that, like, I get back to the work site and you go, sweetheart, how did you go? And I got that in Burgundy and you go, are you fucked in the head? You got, I've been, my blood, pussy and tears is in this concrete floor and you've gone and picked a fucking burgundy bath. That would be lovely, actually. A burgundy bath, yeah. With blue tile around it. Should we go on the block next year?

Yeah. Remember when we got us to do the amazing. race and we said absolutely hell fuck no yeah the block though well because the block you don't have to travel because you just stay at the block you don't have to run anywhere that's our area burgundy bath of the blue that's that is beautiful that's not the vision i had but the colors look amazing i think that if we did the block and they go this year the brief is i'll go actually stop you right there tony's got Pinterest we're all good actually thank you for saying that um but if i was the builder how much physically are because is there not like laws of like like

Like who can do a trade? Oh, like, there's the waterproofing guys do the waterproofing. Mm-hmm. Electricians do it. But you have to be there to tell them what to do and get the order right. Well, we can't put the tiles down until the waterproofing's done. We can't get the electrician in because the light's not here yet. Or if the buyer hasn't come back with the lights and the electrician can't put the lights in because they're not there.

So you can't on those ones. And stick to a budget. And stick to a budget. And there's bonuses for nailing the budget this year. No, I don't want to do that. That has made me so stressed. I'm actually even doing a bit. That is maybe,

I'm so hot. You know, Tony, you said we can put the lights in at midday. Where are they? He hasn't come back yet. I've got Bruno on the boys down here, ready to drill.

He's not ready. So what are we supposed to do? Can you just wait like 10 minutes? It's coming back. So he'll be here in 10 minutes? I hope so. And then you're in over time? If you're paying them overtime, you're paying them overtime, you've got to pay them more,

and then you're way out of budget. No. Not. This is our audition for the block, this chat. Let us know. Al-a-Cazam. Yeah, it's like, do you want a good house or do you want good viewing? Yeah, I can make good TV.

Because we can do one of those. Yeah, I can make good TV. Although I think they're a bit iffy on that, that energy now because now they're like, fuck, we're spending all this money. We need to make the money back. Like, the show needs to make the money back. So, you know when the block houses, because, at the end of it, there's five houses because there's five couples or whatever, those houses go

for auction, like real people buy them. People go, God, wouldn't you love to buy a blockhouse? I'm like, no. No. Have you seen what they've done? I saw how badly they put that waterproofing in because the electrician was running late because the lights didn't come from the beacon lining in time. That's what bridge goes, because you'd never live in one of these because you see how fucking shunky the job is.

And because they do it in three days. Yeah. No fucking way. Oh, what can't you trust about making a kitchen in 40 hours? Like, probably most of it actually. When people are like, God, wouldn't you want to buy them? I'm like, no fucking way. Absolutely not.

I live there. Joe, the fucking stealing or falling. No way. Do you reckon most really reality TV shows like that now are wising up to like people that just want to be like IG superstars? Like the block and batchy and things like that. I don't think it's about whising up. It's more like our job is to make great TV. Sure.

If you're making great TV, then you can do whatever you want. Yeah, okay. Like my job, like producer, is to make a great show. Yeah, you're so right. If you're in it for the wrong reason, I don't give it. I just want to make a great show. And if you're coming in going, you want some drama because I'm trying to boost my IG. I'm like, yeah, dog, go for it.

Because that's for you. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. No, you're very right. Interests are not the same, but they are aligned. That's good. That's a good line.

That is a great line. And it's so true. Yeah. Which means that if we were on the block, we should be the villains. You know there's always a villain? Do you know what? I'd fuck with people. We'd prank.

That's where we do pranks. Yeah. I would go around and like put a banana in their paint tin or something. That'd fuck them right up. It would stink. Imagine. Oh, why is that beautiful? Shane a blaze comes in there and she goes,

do they got a candle or something? Are they blazing a candle? They're shana blazing a candle? What other pranks would you do on the work site? Um, uh, uh, put a banana in it. I don't know why they're all banana base. The budget for bars isn't high,

but the banana budget is big. A lot of bananas. There's a cafe on site and a chemist warehouse and a bunnings on site. No, there's fucking no. Yeah. It's also in Sunbury next year. What's that?

A place. Like it's in the town of Sunbury. What's, oh, another coastal one. No, it's country and it's old school. I like that.

It is actually really cool. They're renovating like a former sacriac. Psychiatric. No. Psychiatric. Hospital, yeah. Slate. I've seen Shatter Island. Meat? Oh, doesn't that fucking... Maybe it's where I used to live.

No, that was in Perth. Sorry, my mistake. Shout out to the folks at the Royal Perth Hospital. Show notes. Royal Perth, Hollywood. Yeah. Couldn't get into Hollywood, actually. Pretty busy hospital. My mom was at Hollywood when she was dying.

And died there. Did she? Yes. Her ghost rhymes the halls of the oncology ward. It doesn't actually. I know that she's around me. Of course. Main character energy. Sorry,

why does your team have three contestants on the block? Oh, my mum's with me. My mom's with me all time. Um, so. I can see you on the block being like, my mum came to me and said,

you need a blush fridge. And I would. Yeah. And I would do that. You'd be great. Because if she did come to me, I would say it. This morning I talked to you guys

about the time zone in heaven. Like, I mean, like, I'm across it. I'm across it. She is and she did speak about that. And I said,

How great is science and no one said anything. And I was like, you're not taking that on and thank you. And we're just the, well, the fact that you struggle so hard with time zones in real life. But then that one, I'm on it.

Yeah, but let me tell you about the real time zone of dead people waiting in heaven. Yeah. It's like if you die, I believe 30 years later and then you meet your friend, they just feels like it was later that afternoon because time goes so fast.

You were listening. I was listening. That's really sweet. Yeah. I listen. Anyway, I don't agree. that I would be the buyer. You've got a build though.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. At most stuff. Yeah, no, I know. But would you be fine with being the builder? Test me. It's more of a project manager than a building. Yeah, but yeah.

Okay. Well, it depends if you want to save them budget and then you build more. Can you put insulating in the walls? I think I'm too confident. No, because sometimes there's a pretty free hand with a budget. I will say that. No, because sometimes... You are free-handed with a budget.

There's often a prize of the week, right? Like a money prize. So it's like, if we go over budget and win, it's worth it because we're going to then... And we can use that. Okay, you're buying. You're buying. He could still go over budget with buying.

With buying, absolutely. It's literally buying. Yeah, I don't know if you know what buying. You got more sponsor dollars than buying. Yeah, go and test my project management skills. All right. Well, we've got to get the bath in. But the child's haven't been.

laid, yeah? Yep. Did you, if you go ahead with the underfloor heating, which could add a lot of money later, you're going to be 12 hours behind. Do you still want to do the underfloor heating? And you have to meet waterproof Tuesday. Come on, mate. Do you want to do the underfloor heating or not?

I think it will be really good for you on the back end, but you're going to be 12 hours behind today. I think it. And that's, we don't even know when the lighting design is coming in. I think it will be good on the back end. However, the auctions are in late October, early November, which is warm. and so you're just not in the mindset of heated tiles. So I reckon you could sneak that through on auction day.

So I'm actually happy because of the situation we've found ourselves in to forego the underfloor heating and save that money and save that time. And you know what? I've just walked back in from buying the burgundy bath and I'm like, we are in the perfect roles. Should we go on the block? Yeah. And we record the pod in the like work site every day.

I was going to say we don't have a spare 12 weeks next year because we do have jobs How do they do it on the show They're like I've been missing my kid I'm like did you just leave for 12 weeks Yeah like where's the kid? Oh yeah I'm sorry I just realized

I have a child Yeah I mean that might put a spanner in the way Her name's Mabel by the way It's Mabel by the way She does have a Hyvie shirt that says Yes so she could come in

A little hard hat And she loves a job. She does. You can get them to help. Yeah. But you can't get the tradies to paint. That's one of the rules. Oh.

You'd be good at painting. Ooh. Yeah. All right. Neither would you. Yeah. Maybe Mabel could do that. Yeah.

Mabel and Charles could do the painting. Yep. Can you get your family to help? Yeah. But you have to pay them. But you can. Yeah. Right.

But the tradies can't paint. They can't paint. Oh, like, only contestants can paint. Yeah. It's like you two, if you were the contestants, only you two could paint. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Fuck, okay. I reckon if the day you found out you're going to be on the block, you would start painting lessons. Yes. They get to the block. I'm not really, I don't really how to do it. I'm like, you knew you were going on the block. I know that this is like a, a bit of a side step. This is the same thing.

When on drag queen, on drag race, they go in and they have to make their own costume, they go, I don't know how to use a sewing machine. Have you watched the last 50 fucking seasons of this show? Like, you know that you're going to have to fucking sew something. To the point where now on the show, they don't really get them to sew anymore because they were all so bad at it that every season they would go, yeah, I don't really know how to how to throw a sewing machine. Was it a sewing contest or is it a beauty pageant contest? Neither. It's not, it's not, it isn't that.

It's like being a drag queen, you have to be able to hustle and come up with a costume. Yeah. And part of it through the thing is like, oh, if you got these bits of fabric, what would you make out of it? And this is the theme. So it is a bit of a fashion building kind of. It's kind of like crafty, yeah. And so the earliest seasons when they're really crafty, I love. Yeah.

Because they do have to be. And they've got these women that are just like fucking hot glue gunning a dress together and hoping for the best. Hot. Like I think it's like the third season, um, Tara Sanchez, she like hot glue guns lace to her skin because she's like, it looks like a bracelet. But she hot glue guns it to her skin. And then they go on the runway and they're like, did you hot glue gun that? She goes, yeah. Like it's crazy.

I respect the craft. All right. I really love to see her. This is from Ryan Burrow. And he is... Oh, the old digger. Yep. The old digger Borough.

I've been teaching skiing part-time since I was 15, working as many days as I could in the winter throughout high school and uni, because I just fucking love her. And then I was doing that whilst I was doing... Whilst I got a full-time job after I finished uni in software development. A few years ago, I started working. working remotely in the winter so I could teach at the mountain. Like, so I do my nine to five and then just hop up a mountain and do my lessons after that

and on the weekends or whatever. Great. What a lifestyle. The company suddenly decided it wasn't feasible to be working remotely, which is fucking stupid. Um, so Ryan said, so I fucking quit. Told him to get fucked. I've become a full time instructor. I have zero regret.

Zero regrets. It brings me so much joy. And if there's any tarpers in northern California. who goes skiing at Kirkwood Mountain, ask for Coach Burrito, because that's our boy, Ryan. Coach Burrito. Well, I order that daily anyway.

Yeah, so I'm in. Can we look up where that is, please, Charles? Is that near Lake Tahoe, I wonder? Kirkwood Mountain, Charles. Yep. Is that near Lake Tahoe, zoom out, zoom out. Oh, not saying any likes.

Yeah, like Tahoe. There you go. Whoa, cool. Have you been there before? Is that where you spent your Thanksgiving that time? Christmas, yeah. So just down the road from where you are is where I try, when I got a frozen turkey on Christmas Day.

And I got 10 hours to fit in the snow for this thing out. You just hug it in front of the fireplace. I stayed at this truck. Yeah. Beautiful part of the world. So I have in California, I've only been to L.A. Or and Anaheim, like just out of L.A., like gone to, but only south. I've never been to like the north of California.

I would love to go. We probably got to get up to San Fran at some stage. Oh, that's San Francisco. They don't like that. SF. SF. The drive from L.A. to San Francisco was like my favorite drive ever. Really?

How long does it take? Like four or five? Six. Oh, but if you went the coast road, that would be on. I went the coast highway. Make a day or two out of it. Fuck yeah. That's, let's go.

Let's do it. We haven't been to America this year. Oh, we only did 27 times last year, so we are ourselves. But we've been to Europe fucking six times this year. Well, now we've got a reason. We've got to get some lessons off Coach Barito. What's Coach Burrito going to do during the summer? Has he got that funny yet?

Well, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. He's got zero regrets. Because it's winter. Is it cold there all the time? Oh, no, it's about to get cold. We're going into winter. Because imagine, this is awesome.

and then like the season engine and he goes, oh, I didn't really think this through. Could I come back, please? But you know what? Like, fuck you. What's not feasible about work? For a job like that.

I mean, I know nothing about it, but I'm on your side. McKenzie. I love to see, Ryan. I love to see McKenzie Baker. Oh, McKenzie submitted a photo into a photo contest at a local pizza place

and they put the photo up on the wall at the pizza place and now they've got free pizza. What? So the local pizza place goes, we're having a photography competition. Everyone submit your best photo and whoever wins gets a free pizza.

So McKenzie, who does a bit of photography, was like, oh, that's fun. That's amazing. It takes a beautiful shot. Now the photo's on the wall in the pizza place and it says, you know, 2026 winner of the whatever pizza place photo contest,

would you like Hawaiian or a meat lover? And McKenzie said, what'd you call me? That is a. Amazing. I won a free pizza. Mackenzie Grig Baker. Is it like pizza for a year?

It says I won a free pizza. Oh, they can do better than that. Sorry, do you not respect McKenzie's art? You don't think she's worth free pizza for a year. Do you not respect the pizza maker's art? I do. I want to enjoy it for a year for free. That's amazing, though.

Good on you for entering. You got her. And I've always said this. you've got to be in it to win it. Trademark Tony Lodge. Like, and I know that you've probably never heard that saying before, so I don't want to blow your mind. It's like an Australian thing, I believe.

You've got to be in it to win it. All right. Tomorrow on the show. Oh, oh. I was like, that's bad. And then I looked at the next video. It's also bad. Tomorrow's coincidence chat.

Yay! Tarpers have sent through their coincidences and they're awful. They're so bad. I love coincidence chat. I'm on your side. I want the Tarpers to know that I'm on your side. I think that coincidence Jay's excellent.

Also, I have an official apology to make. Oh, it's a fucking bout time. I am getting a little bit sick of comment sections because gone are the days where I could just say stuff. No. But it turns out when you say stuff, people on YouTube are like, well, that's not true. Oh, my God.

So I've got an official apology to make. And Tarpie Miller Davison, she comes with receipts. And Tony's fist. See you tomorrow. Love you. Love you.