Toni and Ryan - We Found Out How Tall Toni Lodge Actually Is

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

NORMAL OR NAH - Naked with glasses- How tall are Toni and Ryan??? - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How tall is everyone on the tank? So I'm six foot. I would have guessed Charles is a six two. I'm six two, yeah. What's Tony's height in inches? That's not right, eh? I don't think I'm that short. You're kind of.

Hi, I'm River Potato Head from Wasola, Alaska, United States. Hi, I'm Emily from Seattle, USA. Hi, I'm Indy from Perth, Western Australia. And I agree with this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Arthur, Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan.

Thank you so much for joining us. I just saluted. I don't really know. I was like, I, Captain. Do you know what I mean? That could be a cool thing, though. Should we introduce that when we talk about podcast? We're like, ahoy.

Well, we are on the Gold Coast next week. We will be able to see water when we're recording. Maybe we're just got that nautical vibe about us. Norty, nautical. Nautical. I like that. That could be a name of a dad named boat. Now, I don't know actually where I'm.

at timeline-wise because we don't do time zone chat. However, there's a video in Patreon about our plans for while we're in Queensland next week. Or is that coming out this weekend? This weekend. Comes out on Saturday. Is that got anything to do with Schmake Schmillon Hall? It has everything to do with Smake-Schmillan Hall. Yeah. We're going to have the best week in Queensland. Who, what is that our exclusive in Champion Tarpers? If you're an exclusive in Champion TARPA and maybe you don't really know what to watch on TV this weekend. We've got about 19 suggestions. Oh, I think, but us doing the suggestions is the thing to watch.

No, but I'm, like, watch that and then you'll come away with more knowledge than you went in. And that's just our podcast in a nutshell. It's the, this is our podcast in a nutshell. Oh, no. Look at me. I'm a podcast in a nutshell. I love Austin Pows. Me too.

What I think this is that we did for this Saturday. Yeah. It's like the secure. board. A little bit of everything. It's a little bit of everything. Do you know what that video is? It's this.

It's the hand when you get like when a group of people get it like a Chinese or a chakutory board or something and you go, oh yeah, just a little bit of everything. I have a bit of the chameen. I'll have a little, you know, that's how you do it. It's the Schmick-Schmillan-Hull charcutory board. Enjoy a Patreon. You'll like that. Anyway.

Normal or Nara on a Thursday. This is normal on a Thursday. I fucking love. love normal or nah. I forgot to sing the confession song before we talked about those people hooking up in the stairwell. I haven't thought about anything else since. Yesterday's episode's the blur.

I haven't been able to see stairs and not think about that. And that's hard because we've got some here. It is hard. I was like, oh, Charles, can you help me with something downstairs? And he keeps saying no. Yeah. Okay. Can you help me with something halfway up the stairs?

Speaking of halfway up. Sorry, Charles. Sorry. It's a work day. We're sharing a house next week. We are. it's only a three bedroom they just called me and told me

what were you talking about earlier this morning in the office that we might have to share a bed in Fiji and you said I would like a rotation I will sleep with everybody in this office once each but we have to be the ones moving yes but they have to be the ones moving because your phone would always put plugged my phone in yeah

I probably set up my croncast to the room TV room and then you know I've already like laid out my my stuff in the bathroom. That's annoying to move. Like I've got all my toilet trees in there and... Yeah, it's hard man. You know, I'm not a backpacker.

It's hard being toning. It's hard being turning. I tell me that. Uh, Tarp of Meggie has a normal owner. Meggy's cute. I like Meggie. Feeling sorry for background guys in action movies. When the henchmen get shot, I think about their families.

You know like six people or attack. Bonding just goes pshch, yeah, anonymous henchmen. But they're not anonymous to their own people,

to their own families. Like in Austin Powers, which coincidentally, we just spoke about being in an nutshell. You know that like

Steve, the anonymous henchmen, they call him anonymous henchmen and then it's like, they go to the, it cuts away to their family that kid's like,

Steve was like a father to me. Okay. I don't remember that part. So, yeah. What? You don't remember. that part.

They might not get a line or a close up in the movie, but them dying young is always a tragedy. No, I agree with that. Every blockbuster is a tragedy to me. And it makes me teary. Like, she just can't have it. She's like, no, I don't like death. That's fair. Normal or no?

I think it's normal. I think it's very sweet and empathetic to be thinking about it that way and that it makes you sad. But if you're not really into death, I would suggest like a comedy movie or, you're. like, maybe don't watch an action film. Oh, but like, if you watch a comedy like, Star Ski and Hutch, like, people will die. I've never seen Starsky and Hatch

because I was born later than you. But, um, they remade. It's not just the 70s version. There's a Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson version. Yeah, there is. Wow. Oh, sorry, now I know what comedy is. Wow.

That's the Owen Wilson thing. Yeah. I don't think you get it. But like, imagine if you're just like, sitting there and watching the office, apart from like a couple of episodes. Like, do you know what I mean?

Do you know when no one ever dies? MKR. Actually, no, they always do like a, I'm doing this for my mom, who's dead? Yeah,

and also the people might die, but who's that guy that killed his own career? Pete Evans. Yeah. What a fucking crackpot. Yeah. All good.

All good. What I thought you were going to say is you're like, why don't you, you just not be a background person and be a man character? No, no, no, no, I'm trying to come up with a way for Meggy to, like, enjoy cinema. Do you know, oh, no, that's the worst thing you could watch. I was about to say, why don't you watch, like, Blue Planet or something?

But that's so depressing. Yeah, it's beautiful, but sad. I don't think I can think of a movie where no one dies in it. Because my favorite movies, the prestige, so much death. Apes. You know, chainsaw. Does what it says on the tin. Uh, the beach.

They fucking off that guy. I am people talking to me about the movie The Beach at the moment? The greatest film member. I've never seen it and I just, I keep, people keep mentioning it to me recently. Should we on Instagram? We can go away and think about this, but on Instagram, do a post and it's like, here is Tony's top ten movies of all time. And here are Ryan's top ten.

And then the least, we're on the record and we've got a definitive list. Okay. And one of them has to include not death. Okay. To fit into internet culture, I have a suggestion. Let's do it on letterboxed and then post a story. screenshot of our letterboxed onto Instagram. That's what the kids are doing these days.

What's letterboxed? Exactly. That's what the kids are doing. Does someone die in that one? Letterbox is the app. Answer my question, please. Well, I guess they do because it's all the movies in it. Yeah.

And I heard the workplace culture is awful. My top 10, I reckon I could find one that doesn't have death in it. Is there a death in? I was about to say Josie and the Pussy Cats, but no, the du jour, like the boy band, they all die in the plane crash. they don't die in the plane crash it's all a trick oh spoilers oh i'm actually so sorry that's a really good movie you know the lead singer of dressing the pussycats rachel lecook she was on before me on channel seven last week i know i was watching where do you watch me of course you didn't have the movie

of course and i was texting charles and we were both watching right now well i know you guys are texting because in the first part of the segment i was off my game because my phone was buzzing off it's head on the desk. That wasn't me. That wasn't me. We're texting each other. No, that was group chat or slack

or fucking fucking sat and buzzin off. Well, that's your fault. It actually is my fault. This is normal. Oh, good on you, Meggie. Do you like that name Meggy or is it like too cutesy?

No, it is cute. Because I like Peggy as well. Same. Same. Same. Okay. Is Aunt Peggy coming around today?

Sure is. Like Aunt Flo. Yeah, we're saying Aunt Flo and Aunt Peggy on the weekend. Aren't Peggy's coming around? Yeah. Oh, aren't flows in town so aren't Peggy's coming instead of... But yeah, they come at the same time.

Yeah. Yes, Charles? Do you want to go to the stairs? Charles. Don't. Tapa Chris. Oh, hi Chris. Hi, Chris.

I notice you guys doing a thing with Eminems at the tennis. Oh my God. Bless you. Do you also put Eminems and Skittles into the same bowl? It's chaos. It's candy roulette. It's normal for me because I like to live dangerously. That's fucking disgusting.

Tapa Chris asks, is mixing Eminems and Skittles normal or nah? That's a nah. I don't like that. I don't like that. As we know, I don't like pranks. This feels like pranky to me. No,

it's mixing. A salad's not a prank. There's tomato and there's lettuce and there's mushroom. That's a prank. That's a full-blown prank. So what, I get a handful and then I get like a little bit of fucking fruity and a little bit of chocolate. No, thank you.

It's like, um, sweet and sour, sweet and savory. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. Do you know what I think is the biggest fucking just hate crime against my taste buds? Things that like a splice ice cream, how it's like ice cream on the inside and then it's icy pole on the outside? Yep. Disgusting. The only time that I think fruit and cream goes together is on a pub. So ice cream and strawberries? No. Can I say what I had the other night? Because I was just fucking living. Yeah. I chopped up a banana.

Joking. They're out for 2026. Oh, you're not going to like this then, obviously. Then put that in a bowl of ice cream and it has juzla honey on top. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Yeah. But I wouldn't do it with ice cream. I'll do that with yogurt.

Yep. Because, like, I think ice cream's too sweet for like... Can I ask that question? Like it's its own flavor. You know how frozen yogurt is... Yogurt fucks. Yeah, it does. Yogurt is...

Yogurt is having a moment. Oh, isn't it? Yeah. I saw this tweet the other day and it was like, I am the first to admit that there were too many froyo places in 2012, but they didn't all have to close. And I think that that is just so fucking accurate because like, bitch, there should not be a line all the way.

What's that road in Hawthorne? Glen Ferry Road. There should not be a line down Glen Ferry, motherfucker, for me to get a little bit of Froyo and a bit of Tim Tam. But there should also not be a thousand of them in Melbourne. We don't need that meaning. On Rockaby Road in Subiaco, there were three.

Supply demand. They got to get their supply of demand right. So I'm hoping that they even back out. Do you know the economics term for that? Even back out. I just said. My mistake, man. How do you feel about mixing like a peanut M&M with a regular?

Yeah, I'll do that. Because I think it's the same family. Okay. Yeah, no. Like you know how you can get the M&M's like mix up bag? So you can get like all of them separately or you can buy the mix up bag. there's a peanut, there's a crispy, there's a normal. I fuck with that.

You know how we had the M&Ms and we got all the different ones in our jars? The cookie crunch one. Yeah. So I like left that in the car for a few days. Oh. And then found it. Oh, what a surprise. A fucking treat.

When you think you don't have it anymore and then you go, oh, fuck, was one. I got two. Yeah. Nice. Thank you. Cynthia. Hi, Cynthia. She has a normal one arm.

I bet she does. Where? What gave it away? wearing sunglasses during indoor yoga Tarposinthi asked normal or nah halfway through yoga the guy behind me put on sunglasses indoors

is he iconic or is he a lunatic I'm going to say normal nah nah we're all thinking was it you no that's not that's all we're thinking are we all thinking that I was thinking that because sometimes

You've decided that sunglasses inside like a thing for you. I was drinking and I just graduated. Give me some fucking grace. Well, you didn't do it once. At that time of my life. You've done it a lot. And that's okay. But was it you?

Yeah. At the yoga. Oh, no, no. No, it was me at the karaoke bar. Yeah. No, yeah. I've seen it. I would like to just say that as a glasses wearer,

wearing glasses and doing like Pilates and yoga and stuff is so annoying because if you do anything like where you're facing down my glasses are normally off for that but if I'm doing anything yeah how come I normally because when you're fucking going for it whoa no it's actually because

to about to clean it's actually the Maya Christmas windows. It'd be easy to clean them off your glasses than off your eyeballs, though. Yeah. It's like a safety goggle. Safety glasses, yeah. It's like a scientist.

And you are like a scientist. The actual reason that my glasses are normally off is that like, trying to kiss someone on the face while wearing glasses is like they get in the way a little bit. My wife has glasses. Okay. But like I feel like they just get in the way. So normally if we, I would just like slip them off before we, like, if we started kissing or started making out or something, I would just like sit my gosh off. So if you were like walking up a stairwell and it was flirty, you would just like stick your glasses off and just like nonchalantly pop in your pocket or something.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I just feel like they get in the way. They just get in the way or they fog up. And that's like like a comedy. Like, well, like, like, tors is like nose like to put big nose prints on my glasses. Yeah, he folds. And so I'm like, oh.

That big shnoz come. just leaving some steam on them. But yeah, normally if we start, like, I'll just like slip my glasses off and then, anyway, but what I was about to say at glasses, at yoga or Pilates or whatever, I normally take them off because, um, same reason. As I like, because when I start kissing the instructor, they gave me away, um, no, because if I'm facing down and I get sweaty, they just like keep slipping down. Yeah, I bet.

Yeah. Or if I'm like on the thing, like, there's one thing in Pilates where you put like, your head in a little diamond and your face is on the, um, your forehead. like on the thing and they actually get in the way. Okay. Sorry. Okay.

Charles and I have a 17 year old boys. Cynthia, I've got news for you. Yeah. Fuck it. That guy's staring at your asshole. Why would you put them on halfway through? Why would you have them next to you while you were like that?

I just have so many questions. Halfway through yoga halfway. The guy behind me puts on sunglasses like, excuse me sir are you staring straight into me yeah well are you dr bud are you dr joshua barb from gastronourn are you danny's colonoscopy doctor joshua butt are you the guy doing the butt rankings at tarp tower are you the guy who tony lodge ryan john and danny go to in gastro north thanks for using my full medical name yeah for gastrology purposes yeah Is that it?

No, but I'm just, need a moment because it's just so upset about so many things that have happened in the last few minutes. No, that's so fair. I feel like it's... I just think my glasses get in the way. Yeah, I get it. And it's just like, that's just very overstimulating. What it might the glasses thing? Both mentally and penally.

Do you think it's weird? No. Oh. No, and then I'm thinking about what Bridget does. There you are. You know, when I like to change it up, there's another woman I live with, so. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's okay. I don't have to take that personally. I just think that, like, taking my glasses off, it also, like, can I just, can I be honest as well? Always. There is something really upsetting to me about being naked with glasses on. I just, it's like when you're, nude or not?

Like, to me, when I, if you're, like, if you're, like, naked butt with socks on. Oh, that, yeah. It's so upsetting. Yeah. There is something so bizarre to me about being naked with glasses on. Like I'm just like, oh, well, I'm having fun, but like, let me check on the steam. Like, I feel like such a dork. And so the second I started to get undress on, like, well, obviously my glasses are coming off.

Can other glasses wearers, please confirm what tonight is? Is this a new... Tommy! You can't have your cock and glasses on, right? You can't. Well, there you go. It's like I don't want to see it. You know what I?

Yeah. Not Tommy. Oh, how dare you? Can I say something really upsetting? Please. And I did this at the time because I knew it was going to be upsetting. Yeah. Like, because nothing for me is funnier than Bridget going.

Yeah. What are you doing? Absolutely. You got to have fun. Yep. So I'm wearing shoes and socks, like runners. Yeah. Like little Nike socks.

Yep. You know that. green felt hat. Yes. And that's it. Yeah. Oh, what were you auditioning for magic mic? Bam.

Brown. Wow. No, I was out of back with Mabel and I had my like shorts, like, but not my budgie smugglers on. Yeah. And then we were going to go swimming. So I was like, I'll go in and take these shorts off and put my budgie smugglers on. But I had to like walk back out of the back to get her first. Yeah.

And so as I was going to go in and take these shorts off and put my budgie smugglers on. was getting changed. I kind of had that, well, I'm not going to take my shoes off and then put them back on again. What am I wearing now? Yeah, so I took the shorts off and just went, yeah, this is strange. Then I was like, this is fucked. Bridgett. So I'm like, well, obviously, if something's fucked, I'm going to walk down into the lounge and go, hey, what's going on? Absolutely. Stop mackering around, put it away. Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Magic Mark. Aaron. Oh, we're still going. No, you know what?

I think we've been done. Yeah. Coming up next week, Aaron asks about stuff on his computer. And it might not. Because I think you might lose that by then. Hi, I'm River Potato Head from Wassil, Alaska, United States. Hi, I'm Emily from Seattle, USA. Hi, I'm Indy from Perth Western Australia.

And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion Tarpers on. over at our Patreon. Oh my God. I've just heard that Tony and Ryan have run a touchdown. What would you say? Scored a touchdown? Scored a touchdown at their Super Bowl live stream that's happening tomorrow.

Tomorrow. What station are you on? No, I'm getting a live feed from a Channel 7 reporter from the elevator. What was that? It was that big. Oh my God. Okay. I've just heard that there's a live stream tomorrow.

You can actually watch the Super Bowl on Channel 7. Great people that work there. Beautiful company to be a part of. Great company to be a part of. Spot where we'll swap. Fuck. Live stream tomorrow. Don't know what fucking time it is.

You can fucking figure it out yourself. Some other girls cracking on to your man. A message shout out to a few of our champion tap us. Nat Spicer. Hey Nat, sorry we fucked around about your name earlier this week. We said that was a shit name. No, only if you copped a Natty.

Natty, okay. Nat Spicer, I hardly know her. Gabby Guadicea. Gabby Gidecha. Gabby Gidich. Vanya and Chris. Which one is it? I hardly, Noah and Chris.

Natalie Grant. I full Natalie. Anna Farrell. Do you know what show I was talking about the other day at the pub with a bunch of friends just like hanging out, being cool girl? Ferrell TV. Do you remember the Ferrells? As soon as she said Ferrell, something in my brain went. TV show.

Was that like the most of the most. That was Ozzyaz, right? Oh, yeah. And like the little pink rat and stuff. Yeah. Charles, I know that you won't know what that show is, but can you Google Ferrell TV? It was like these little, like, rat puppets.

Yeah, but it's all grey with the coloured things around the thing. Yes. And they would like, they had like a TV show. Yeah. Were they Australian? I think it was hella Australian. Click on that YouTube thing. Was the pink one?

Is that, was the pink one mixie? She was my favourite. Ferrell TV. Okay, this is the full episode. I just want to hear the first few lines to see if they've got an Australian accent. Ferrells. This is super ashamed. Right.

Do they just bash each other every episode? I can't. I guess so. It's quite aggressive. That's Mixie. She was my five. He's not going to hit her, is he? Oh.

The whole... Fuck. Kids TV in Australia was on. literal LSD8. Was any sober person involved in that production? That is completely off the rhythm. That episode goes for 25 minutes. They just beat...

We fucking watched that shit. I thought they were like three minute episodes. You know those like in-between shows? I thought that was an in-between. And they just beat the shit out of each other on drugs. For half an hour. I was a big fan of Arthur. Yeah.

He's cute. You'd take him home. Every day when you're walking down the street. Something, something. the people that you meet has an original point of view so be kind to each other and I say

Hey hey what a wonderful kind of day If you can learn to work and play Hey get along with each other You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm The rhythm on the street Open up your eyes open up your ears

Get together and live things better By working together It's a simple message that comes from the heart I'll be leaving yourself well that's a place to start everybody and I say hey hey hey hey what a wonderful kind of day hey hey if you can learn to work and play and get along with each other hey what a wonderful kind of day hey what a wonderful kind of day hey thank you now Arthur was one of those three-minute shows and that's actually all we've got time for 20 minute up.

Well, you'd hope so. Because if the intro goes for two hours 40. It would be two episodes in one episode. Oh. Like it would tell you two stories in my, oh, God, I had such a crush on Binky. Yeah. But the big tough one. Yeah, you would.

Do you remember him? You love a tough one. And he wore like big boots and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's Binky Barnes. Now, if someone was into Binky Barnes and then was going to marry Taubs.

That's. Yeah, I'm seeing it. That sort of works for me. That sort of works for me. They looks like Torbs. He does. Torbs looks like Binky Barnes. I'm fully seeing it as soon as it was.

I was like, well, there's my husband. Fiance. And Binky Barnes grows up to propose to Tony Lodge. The granddaughter of the man who invented chicken salt. Okay. Okay. So where did I get to? Hannah Farrell, good on you, Hannah.

Dione Hammond. Do you remember Ferrell TV? Dione Hammond, good on you, Dione. Montana Manakua. Love you, Montana. Danielle Ketty. Oh, Daniel, sorry, not Danielle. We've got a Danielle here, so I keep getting my yells and yells.

Yeah. Daniel Ketty. Well, they're related to Asher Ketty. Brody, I reckon. They love offspring. Yeah. Brody, good on you. Zoe S.

I love the name Zoe. And Brandon. Good on you, Brandon. Thank you, Brandon. Everyone there is eligible to come to Fiji with us as I'm holding up the boarding pass that I try to remember to hold up every day and have them for a month. For Tony and Ryan's podcast away, we're taking eight tarpers and they're plus ones, flying you from anywhere all over the world.

We're taking you to Fiji and we'll meet you there. Yeah. Now, round three is open, which means round two is done and dusted. And can I get a drum roll from everyone, please? From New Zealand. New Zealand, Reese Holyoke. And plus one will be joining us in Fiji. So we have someone from the Netherlands and New Zealand,

and I promise next month it won't start with an N. Okay. Or do I? Well, actually, no, we can't promise that. Might be the best entry. Any Nambian tarps? Any Nepalese tarpers? You know what?

I reckon. Norway, there's heaps. Norway is in the top ten. Norway is in the top ten. listening nations of Tony and Ryan podcast. Mexico? No. Sorry.

What about Mexico? You're just thinking of the stairwell? I started with an end. Mexico? It's not Mexico. You're thinking of nexia. Those stuff I do for my heartburn. Because when you were in Mexico, you were telling me about how much nexium you were taking.

Well, you have to because you're having so much salsa and the acidity of the tomato and the, yeah. Oh, mate. Tell me about it. So, um, now that I don't know. I don't know what letters are which. I think we can probably move on. But race is coming with us. Rees is coming with us to Fiji.

So that's two spots taken. Six remaining. Yes. And round three is open right now. Obviously, you can enter every month if you would like to. Every round, you just need to be a champion tapper when you put your submission in.

So the longer you're a champion tapper, the more chances you get. And I would love to see you in Fiji. And I need someone to help me drink the tequila because of the gluten medical reasons. Medical. This could be your boarding part. that I'm holding up right now. So if you want to have a look to tease.

Don't take a photo of the QR code on the screen if you're watching on YouTube because you'll accidentally get flown to Fiji. All the T's and Cs are available at our Link in bio and our Link Tree, all of that. If you want to have a look at them before you sign up to Patreon, so they're all available to look at without having to join. But it's for Champion Tarpers and all the dates, like the travel dates are in there. So maybe have a look and make sure that you're actually available to travel at that. time because we would hate for you to win and they're not be able to use it.

We're locking in for that week. There's no, I'll take it later. We're going together. The point is we're hanging out together. Yeah. Yeah. And we've come up with it. Are we taking plus ones?

But we've come up with a very exciting thing for us to do on the beach. For one of the recordings, you're going to absolutely love that and we're going to need everyone's help. Do I know about that? Yeah. It's me being buried underground. In the sand. Yes.

That's going to be a. fun episode. Yeah. And we've started talking about what we might pack. And my suitcase is getting pretty full, so I might have to put some knickers in your guys. Carry on. I hope you don't mind.

That's right. I always carry yours around anyway. No, I need to bring clean ones as well. Tony Lodge. Put plenty of sunscreen on. I'd hate for you, like, just exposed face to cop it. I am the queen of sunscreen on this fucking team. I know.

I would never not have it. You guys got burnt to a Krispiano when I wasn't there in Fiji when I was being operated on. No one cared about me. If you selfishly didn't break your foot, Charles and I wouldn't have got a sunburn as we did. Oh, actually, I'm so sorry. That's my fault. No, because... Sorry that I forced you to wear a singlet and not put any sunscreen on.

Sorry? Thank you for apologising. Someone I do. Because when you're on the ground, you can't like find shade or if you have a hat, you'll just be covered. I'm just sorry for caring about you actually. I'm going to need you guys to do that for me. But I'm, this isn't an adding.

It's like, I care for you. And I don't want you to, that beautiful skin to get burned. We're, wow, yeah. Well,

but you'll be under the sand so you can't get burnt anywhere. Her face does. Oh, your face. Yeah. Remember the thing? The one that does all the work.

Nah, there's other bit of work going on in that I'm saying. We got this message actually on Patreon. And I wonder if the person who I'm talking about, I'm going to call. or Tall Tegan. I wonder if Tall Tegan is going to come to Fiji with us. Don't be in at Twitter.

Wouldn't that be wonderful? This message we got on Patreon from Tall Tegan, my new best friend, made me laugh so hard, but then also made me go, what? Aren't they the best kind? It's kind of stayed with me and I was like, I just have to talk to you about this because it's just, it's so funny. Okay, Tall Tegan says, hey, just checking in to see how 2020 Twix is treating you guys.

Beautiful. Love it. I don't have anything really exciting to share, but I've got a bit of a question. How tall is everyone on the tank? I feel like I'm a mammoth of a female, and I always wonder how my height compares to all of you. Do you? How often?

I tried looking at everyone on the videos, but just can't get a feel for whose height would be closest to mine. Do we know her height? I don't know her height. There's no comparison here. But maybe if we offer the information to Tall Tegan, then maybe she can perform her own comparison. But I feel like if you message saying to make a comparison,

you would provide the raw data. Yeah. As someone who is insert height here, I'm curious if you're taller or smaller. Yeah. So we actually, the only reference we have is mammoth. So is she is.

tall as a mammoth? Is she as tall as the mammoth's tail? Is she as tall as a mammoth's tusks? Is she as tall as the mammoth when you watch it at the cinemas on Ice Age? Did she also ask how many sexual partners we've had each? No, no, it's all above board, just the height. How much money we've got in our superannuation funds? I don't think I've got one.

Tony Lodge, if that's true, fuck it. Well, I certainly haven't put any money in there recently. Good news everyone. This podcast is going forever. Do you know what? I think like, I want, I don't know if I want to hear it. I don't know if. I had like six.

A different account. Because every time I went to a new job, they'd go, do you have your superannuation number and I'd go, fuck no, just sign me up to yours. Yeah, whatever the one you use is fine. And I'd start a new one everywhere that I work. And you're paying fees at every single.

All the money's gone. Yeah, because the fees just, because the fees just chewed it up. And I got some quite poor financial. advice on which ones to close. And the one that I closed, one of the ones that I closed is actually the most amazing superannuation fund. It's called Uni-Super.

Yeah, okay. And I got it because when I- Not financial advice. Because when I worked at UWA, they gave me a uni super and it's one of the best supers you can get. And I gave it up. And I don't have it. And you can't just get it.

You have to work at a university to get it. Yeah. So quite poor. Yeah. Quite poor advice I was given. Yes. That's okay. Anyway, super anyway.

No, she hasn't asked about that tall. Tegan would just like to know how tall we all are. I have some thoughts about our heights because at one point we had to send our height for something and you wrote a gag amount that we just folded on not knowing really what distances are. You said like, yeah, tell them I'm 206 centimetres. And we just sent that off and you went, well, I'm not. Do you remember that? Oh, actually, can I say exactly what that was for?

Yeah. It was for the Apple campaign. And because you and I had our photos taken. Yeah. And some other podcasters had our photos taken. So they wanted to know the heights so they could line it up. So that like relative heights of all of us. Yeah.

So I said, I'm way taller than I am. Ryan goes, oh, tell him I'm 250. And Lily goes, okay. And so. And so I would have done the exact same. Yeah. And so, you know, on Photoshop, they'll just, oh, yeah. Yeah.

And so now we're way taller than the imperfects. Yeah. Also, mine is all fucked up because on the day, well, first of all, I think it's fucked up because I told them the wrong. But also, I think it's fucked up because on the day I was kneeling on a scooter because I just had surgery. But because of the stretch and the ratios, it also now looks like the biggest scooter in history. So I think that I'm maybe 156, but that might not be right. Yeah, without shoes. Yeah, poofs off.

Um, I'm six foot, which I think is 180. Are you six foot? Or is this like a Tinder six foot? No, I'd be just, but like... I think it's a... Do you have a tape measure? I don't trust what you've said. No, but like, I'm definitely not 6.1.

I think you might be a Tinder 6 foot. Take that back. Nah, I'm so sorry. I'd be a Tinder 6-2. Oh, I don't know. And I actually want to talk to you about something. and it's like pretty embarrassing. Your Tinder.

Yeah. Safe space. We're connected by the horse photo. Safe space. I've been getting like sponsored ads on Instagram and Facebook. Don't laugh Charles. I know you know this because you saw it the other day. I got sponsored ads all the time.

Charles bought three t-shirts the other day all from consecutive sponsored ads. This is a safe space. Like three ads in a row he clicked and bought and then went back and then bought from the next ad and then bought and then bought and then. went back and bought from the next ad. I don't know how these ads started, why they thought I was the one for them. But I keep getting ads for secret platform men's shoes. They're called elevator shoes.

For when you get hit on in the elevator. Not at all. They add to your height, like so they've got built in heels. So in the shoe, they're like. But wouldn't you be able to see like the soul, though is thicker or it's like...

No, because it's built in and so... Sorry, I think I need to see it. Or is Googling it gonna fuck your algorithm even more? Oh, don't worry, I'm past that stage. So I've never heard of this before. So it's in the shoe. That's a hideous shoe. Yeah, that's seven centimeters.

That's absolutely heinous. Yeah, get some better looking shoes up there, charts. So you might be taller, but no one wants to fuck you because you've got terrible taste. No, go dress shoes. Nah, sneakers is chill. Okay, I just go fuck myself. But like they're built in.

Okay. I'm just going to say, it's not really that. $800. That's fucked. That's fucked. That's fucked. Go Jensen.

I know the brands now. J.E. N. Shues. Gen shoes. What the fuck is going on? That's not it. Jensen.

Jenon? Yep. They're called elevator shoes. Invisible height boost. See there? Eight. centimeters taller tactical boots scroll down what the runners they got like nice boots like dress shoes that is crazy you know what anything to make people feel hot and confident i'm actually all for it

great because i bought some three inches taller yeah i can put my cock in it twice so i'm going to be three inches taller at some stage in this office over the next month and we'll just see how that plays out Okay. Three inches taller. So I'm going to be... What's three inches for those of us on the right side of the world? What's the matter? It's 7.62 centimeters.

It's 7.62 centimeters. You've asked. You did ask. Yeah, we did a cock joke, Charles. You can get up to 10 centimetres of these ones. Your feet will be sore. Like, wearing high heels is painful. But then all the ads are like, um, no, because now we've got this.

cushioning and like, you know, over the years they've got better and figured it all out. And so whatever's going to make people feel hot and cool. I'm actually very for it. I think it's a shame that like men are shamed for being short but not allowed to try and make themselves taller. Like, that is fucked. Oh, here we go. It's like actually very hot and cool.

I think it's so fine. Here's one I'm taking. So, see they've like cut out so you can kind of see how it's like in the. Oh, yeah. Now this is the tagline. I don't know if they're taking the pierce or and I don't want this to sound like I'm taking the pierce. Yeah.

No, I actually think it's very hot and cool, but it is interesting that you've been getting sponsored for them. Life's too short to be short. Oh, no, but pop off short king. That's what I have thing, yeah. And so I think they must be doing an advertising campaign and they're pushing out because people are hell offended in the comments that they're getting the ad. So there's a lot of blogs being like, fuck off.

I'm six for one. What am I getting this fucking ad? As if Facebook knows how tall you are. Probably does. But you know what I mean? Probably does. But then I keep clicking on it because I was fascinated. Because you're like, what's this?

So then the more. you click the more you get and now I've got a couple of pairs coming. Well, it's no different to wearing high heels, which is to make you like legs look longer, feel like a hot slat. One of the other comments said nice heels, bro. Nah. That's nasty. That's toxic masculinity.

Thank you. Like fragile masculinity. Yeah. We don't do that. No, I think whatever you want to do to make you feel like a hot slot. So I'm six foot. Not six foot one. I'm just six foot.

Copper. Yeah, you're six foot. I would have guessed Charles is a six two. I'm six two, yeah. That is hot How tall's torps He'd be six He's taller in you

He'd be six three Is he told me Is he told you You should marry that guy He's so Twinky bill What was the guy getting Binky Barre

Binky Barre And then Blinky Barnes Not Blinky Bill The way Coala Yeah Had a bit of a crush They call me

Caramel Coala Ha ha Blinky That's like splotch So you'd be 5.3? I don't know. What's Tony's height in inches?

156, I think it is, or something like that. 5-1. Then that's not right, eh? I don't think I'm that short. You're kind of. I would have said 5-2 in a bit. So maybe I'm 160 then? Maybe, yeah.

Lil's tall. How tall are you? A little like 5-8 or something? 5-9. I'm like 5-9. Yeah. And maybe a bit more. Like 175.

Yeah, how much on Tinder that I will? 6-1. 175 is 5.7. I literally just looked it up. What are you using to? I don't, that's not reliable. I don't feel. Charles, don't listen to that.

That's horrible. It's Google. You're 5-7? Yeah. Yeah, so she can't be 5-7. So, I use the Google plug-in. Like,

the Google plug-in rules. Put in 182 centimeters. Oh, maybe I'm not six foot. Okay, it's just revealed that 182 is 5.97. You can round up to six. Thank you. Oh, wow. I'm 183.

I think I'm 183. And then with your fucking new fresh six inches, what's that, Charles? I'm going to be one. No, I got eight centimeter ones. So I'm going to be 191. Oh, you're taller than Charles. You're tall and talls. Call me, Blinky Bill.

Sorry, what's his name? Dinky Barnes. Yeah. Okay. Was that helpful for Tall Tegan? We'll find out, I guess. Thanks for encouraging us to figure out how tall we are. If I got three pairs of shoes that aid my height,

I think they're all eight centimeters. Eight centimeters is significant, eh? Yes. Like, that's a lot. What type of shoes do you think I if I could only get three? Okay. Love this question. I reckon you bought another Birken boot.

similar like a sand um what do they call it like desert boot i got a a brown boot almost like the the old like the hipstery kind of like a that's a deserty brown yeah yeah um i reckon you probably got i don't think you would have bought dress shoes um do we have anything coming up but you just bought those other dress shoes for that wedding now very flat um okay so you bought dress shoes like a shiny like pattern black leather kind of thing um and then i reckon you probably bought like a sneaker but not like a not like a sneaker like this like an actual runner kind of one i got like a an air force one like a basketball shoe oh okay oh so it's like more like a trainer like this like yep okay because they had runners and i was like surely you can't run in them

well yeah running in high heels yeah that feels weird but that's what i thought maybe you'd selected Yeah, so here's the challenge I'm going to set. Yeah. Is that as soon as you think that's like the... I'm going to be able to tell. You reckon straight away? 1,000% bitch. And so here is the challenge.

I'm not even, I'm going to sniff that you're taller. Because your testosterone is going to be squirted out because you're going to be feeling like a hot slap. Thank you. Are you willing to say, so you're saying in an instant? Immediately I will know. Maybe I should film myself walking up. I will know immediately. Like I fucking call it right now

I will know immediately Do you're gonna have the duck going under the hall Oh my God You're probably gonna have to get a new car You're gonna fit in the golf All that extra height All those extra canoes You'll be feeling yourself

Although the cord works now So I can listen to Spotify So the car searches slowed down a little bit Yeah, it's off That's all right But thank you to the good folks At all those different companies

And we love a short king We love a tool king Is that Are they just throw on the blanket because it works. You know? Well, I mean, targeted ads feel,

but they're not like, it's just, it's going to every over 35 male. Sorry for saying that. But you know what I mean? Like, it's just going to, the same way that I get like the randomest fucking stuff.

And it's like, oh, you're of the age where you should be probably producing a child. And now it's gone past point when they go, well, if you don't have a kid,

yeah, it's probably a toddler. And I'm like, well, no, I'm not ready for one to sorry school yet. I haven't even got a kid. And you got Instagram. What would you do that for? But I've passed the thing where they're like,

well, you're over 32. So you're obviously. So now, yes. That's annoying. Sorry. Well, yeah. I'm not ready for my toddler to go to school yet. Yeah. It'd be such a tough day. Pipa's going to, I'm going to miss her so much when she goes to school. I've got to you love to see it. Amazing. Someone has posted in the group and said, um, my husband's in charge of organizing like a boys weekend. Oh yeah. Cute. Um, and, you know, they've done paintball, they've done golf. Sure. They're all great, but I think he wants to do something a bit unique and a bit like different.

Does anyone have any ideas? That's a really great question. Now, I don't know if this was like a joke answer. Even if it was, I don't think it should be. And I think that we should take inspiration from this Tarpers comment and maybe you, me, Charles and Lou should do this next week on the Gold Coast. I'm in. is it have us little sleep

I think you need five or six people so maybe we'll need like Haley noodle or some other Gold Coast harpers to get involved and this person goes first of all you go to separate Toyota dealers and you ask to test drive the same car then you go for a test drive

and obviously the you know the sales guy comes with you and so then you all drive and you meet it a predetermined place and you have all the Toyotas facing the middle and then you get the car dealers all in the middle and you say

the last one to leave the circle gets the sale and then you just let them have at it I prefer the little sleep I'll be very honest what do you mean so I have to buy a car on the Gold Coast

I don't want a car or one of us have to buy a Toyota no the brand is not what's important I don't want to buy a car at all on the gold coast. I think you're missing the fun part, which is... I think I am too. Yeah, explain what the fun is.

We get to move to the Gold Coast. That's not what I had in mind, child, but that might get turning across the line. That could get me there. There's a beach there. There is. It's warmer than here in the winter. Yeah.

Blue sky's master of the year. You get a job as the morning announcer on CFM. They're looking for you... I could work for B105. That's not the Gold Coast, that's okay. I don't really know the difference. You don't understand Queensland. No, I really don't.

You don't understand coasts. The other day I got really confused because I thought we were going to New South Wales. Well, you kept talking about the Central Coast and we were like, no. No. Go to Godfurt? Is that where we going Gosford? That's where Tom Wood lives. No.

He was in the Central Coast. Is that in Gosford, though? Gosford's in the Central Coast. In New South Wales. And we're going to Queensland Gold Coast. It's only like a 15-hour driveway. The fun bit is that you get to see Toyota salesman punch on. I don't want that.

Don't you? No. What are you going to say? we're all going to meet and then swap cars and see if they can figure out that we drop the wrong one. Okay, maybe let's do that one. Then none of us have to buy one. This is why we need to include you in our ideas. And you like roll back in there and they go, how'd you like?

You go, maybe not this stuff. That's what I thought you'd say. You look a bit different from when you left. What? Well, because it'd be a different person. No, no, no, no. Like you swap cars. Oh, maybe I should shave my beard also while I'm out.

So that'll really throw them. But then they would smell a rat. What you need to do is re-return. in the exact same way so that then they're like, how'd you go with the car? I mean, they come with you so it's not going to work.

Oh, what's your idea then? Yeah. My idea was have a little sleep. Okay, yeah, no, it was actually, yeah. And as a nap king, I don't hate that either. Okay. We got some options. Okay, yeah, it's good to keep them open.

Yeah, so. Another thing that we could do if we want to, Tarp of Georgia sent me through. Tarpa, Georgia has started the first. fucking vlog. Oh. I make videos on YouTube for people learning English. I moved to Spain four years ago and I noticed the listing tasks in English exams are

boring as fuck, frankly. This is type of Georgia's word. So I recently launched my channel. It's called Your Aussie Teacher G on YouTube. And it has English learning comprehension tasks and free worksheets and cahoot quizzes for all levels. Sick. And she was like, thank you for inspiring me.

I wouldn't have started doing it. But she's like, I would love for the YouTube to get to a point where that's kind of like funding my travels around. Yeah, sick. I'm not then working during the day. And isn't that so cool? That is fucking cool. And like, it feels niche to us. Like, sorry, when I was reading that, because I'm like, oh, but there's a billion,

trillion people like trying to learn English. Like, that's such a good idea. Do more people speak Spanish on this planet than English? English? I think so. I think Mandarin's the highest, isn't it? Probably. I think it goes like Mandarin, Spanish. Is that right, Charles? So English isn't in the top two? I don't think so. I think it's maybe fifth. Fuck. I think it's quite far down. This sounds like something Tommy would know. I'm on Wikipedia and it says English is first then Mandarin, then Hindi, then Spanish. Oh, I didn't think that English was that third, that high. No, but look, more first language. Click on the first language. Yeah, that thing.

And again. Oh, so you were right. Oh my God. I was. Mandarin first, Spanish, second, English, third, Hindi just behind English and fourth. I cannot believe I got that fact correct. Bengali is pretty high. That's absolutely amazing. So, should we all learn Mandarin? it's fucking hard what's the difference between eating a mandarin and eating

wait what's the joke and eating Amanda out nah that's not how you say the joke better than eating a mandarin eating Amanda out yeah we should go to China

all right we'll have a great weekend if you're on YouTube you can watch a little react video coming out tomorrow yep and next week we will be on the Gold Coast, thanks to our good friends at Webjet. Yeah, go somewhere. Reliving a whole bunch of Tarpers' nostalgic summer memories. Yeah.

And stay tuned because next Thursday we'll hear Aaron's normal or not. And I can't bloody wait. Do you want to give you even more of a taste? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just festally excitement. You'll never guess what he does with his phone. Puts in his asshole. Do you know what I'm thinking?

I'm going to start doing not letting myself take my phone to the toilet. What are you going to do in there? I know, just shit, I guess. But I think that I need to, like, I can be bored for the time it takes me to go to the toilet. Nah, you take it. I think I'm going to stop taking my phone to the toilet. Get a newspaper. Read the newspaper on the old school.

No, I think I don't need anything. I think I just need to. You just need your squatty potty and your squat and your potty. Yeah, my squatty potty and a fucking mindful of dreams. That's beautiful. All right. Love you. Love you.

Sorry, I forgot that we're doing podcasts. Love you. Bye.