Toni and Ryan - We Have Lost Our Pants

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

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Workers who have morning sex are more productive, more focused and more likely to get a pay rise. Is it because you're like nice to be around because you're in a good mood because you just got some? I think so. And is anyone getting a pay rise today in this room? Yeah. I just, no. Oh, sorry that I want to share my f***. Hi, I'm Grace from Toledo, Ohio. I'm Sophie from Santa Clarita, California.

Hi, my name is Tori from Mary Still, Michigan. and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Hello. And Tony came in and just goes, hey, I got something. Well, I got something.

As we all know, my source of all news information is sunrise on Channel 7. um shout out and uh this morning they had someone on and they're talking about like because like yes because it's coming up to you know christmas time and people are like starting to figure out what they're going to do they were talking about like oh um off the beaten track kind of like under the radar holiday destinations and they had talked about they're like they mentioned somewhere in victoria they mentioned somewhere in new south wales like they'd kind of done the dash on like everywhere and then they go what do you reckon about w a Where's the best place to go on holiday in WA?

If you, off the top of your head, Ryan, had to think of like two or three places in WA where would be great for a holiday. Dunsbra, Albany. Yes. Margaret River. Yep. That's like the kind of vibe. They have named this morning.

I am so mad about this. Mantra. What? Is the Europe of Western Australia. I've fucking heard it all. Right. I have heard it all. The Europe of Western Australia.

And if that isn't the biggest dis of Europe. Europe should be so offended. Europe should be so fucked off. Torbs goes, do you reckon she's been there? And I went obviously, fucking not. She obviously hasn't been there if she thinks that Mandra is the Europe of W.A. And let me say, I reckon that there's a lot of people from Mandra that are Tappas. That'll be listening.

Because, no, no, you just ain't Europe. It's just not Europe. It's also just like not where I'd go for a holiday. It's like an outer suburb now of Perth. You can get there on the train. Yeah. Like, apparently. But like, so it's also only 50, 45, 50 minutes away from, like, from town.

Yeah. And if you were in Perth. That's a drunken ubert trip. Yeah. Like, if you were in. Perth. It's too close. And if you travel to Perth, it's too close to make it, like, really worth it. How far do you have to travel from some place for you to have traveled to some place? Oh, great question. Because when my dog, B.J. stayed at your place. Yeah. He

wasn't like, I went away for the weekend. He's like, I stayed at a friend's house. It was just a sleepover. Manta is a sleepover. What do you reckon is, and this might be the same question. Bunbury's barely. Bunbury, I think you, well, riddle me this. And this might be a similar question to what you just asked. But I think, I think it really puts it in perspective. How short of a car trip or how long does a car trip need to be before you can like take snacks with you? Oh, no, I don't, no.

I'll snack at the smallest of distances. Do you reckon? Yeah. Because I know it's different. Like if you've got kids and they're eating crackers in the car, feels a bit different. But like, when is it like road trip? snack worthy like to be nibbling in the car

or to like specifically stock up I've got an answer I think but I'm a car snacker that's my secret snack spot but like getting something through the drive through I don't think is the same what about being at the server I'll be like a bit of a long drive to Tony

because I'll get some snakes oh see I don't think I would do that so that's interesting but I think that before I would go oh I'll go to Coles and grab some stuff for the car two hours you run's a tight ship

but I think if a drive was over two hours maybe one and a half I reckon I'd be like oh I'll I better grab some like Portsy's one and a half and you'd get some C Cs that's true you would get something yeah yeah okay you get some C C C Cs

that's really funny that's a really funny thing to say I'm sorry I'm still torn but I've been just No, take your time thinking about the manager of Europe. I think one of my favorite categories of comedy is calling something that's not fancy the Paris end. Oh, absolutely. Because in Melbourne, like, there's the Paris end of Colin Street.

Yeah. Which is actually kind of nice. And the reason they call that is because there is like a Louis Vuitton store there. Yeah, yeah. But like, when I was in Canberra, I'd be like, oh, the Paris end of Gangaalan. That's very funny. And it just feels like she's. doing a bit

totally all right oh frankston is the Paris of fucking Melbourne you know what I mean like you go well it's it's just not

and that's no offence to Frankston it's a lot of offence to Europe I don't know you know how he said has she been to Mandra I don't think to Europe

fuck me right up hey I've also got some news this morning oh yeah workers who have morning sex are more productive more focused

and more likely to get a pay rise according to an article in the New York Post. Is it because you're like nice to be around because you're in a good mood because you just got some? I think so. And is anyone getting a pay rise today in this room?

I'm not. I've had diarrhea. So the conversation is about what's going into you. Well, all I can think about is what's coming out. Honestly, I had a coffee with hot milk and I think that's what's done it. Yeah. I just, no.

Oh, sorry that I want to share my fucking life for you? Charles? No. Lily? No. Ryan? No pay rises here, folks.

But Charles went to the gym. Is that similar? It's impressive, but it's different. People who bone before work. Bone, is that what the article says? It says before work boners. 57% likely to have job satisfaction. And job satisfaction?

Weekend only railers, only 27% likely to have job satisfaction. Oh, well, like everywhere in my life, I'm an outlier because that's not accurate for me. Which part? Well, I have very high job satisfaction and I only have sex on the weekend. But actually, oh no, maybe that's changed a bit of late. Hmm. There was a category because it had like all the different times in the day that people have sex and where that meant for job satisfaction, likelihoodness of burnout.

Like, there's a great study. That is really interesting. I wouldn't have thought there was that much of a correlate. between it. One of the categories was lunchtime. Well, that's for us, obviously. But like, if you have your lunch hour,

you're like, oh, we'll just duck back to the apartment. But that's... Can I ask a question? That's crazy. Is it strictly having sex or is it jerking off also? Like, is the study just like, if you come in the morning or if you come at lunchtime? I don't think it was that.

And that's a blight on their study. That, like that, I think that's a good question. It is a great question. Because if you just jerk off at lunchtime, I mean, when you came back to the office, you'd probably be pretty happy. Because was that in the Wolf of Wall Street with Matt McConaughey? He's like, how many times a day you jerking off? There's rookie numbers.

Oh, yeah. But there was a category of people who... Oh, I'm not jerking off at work, if that's what you're asking. Why not? Oh, I just, I just wouldn't. If I was working from home, probably, I mean, because every time you got the house of yourself, that would be rude not to, you know? am I going to do, sit here.

Like, like, come on. Yeah. Like, don't waste time. Yeah. I'm not you to fuck spiders, fuck myself. If I wanted to be in a sharehouse and not jerk off, then that's where I'd live. Yeah. Yeah.

There was a cat. So there's before work bonus. There's lunch timers. There's like at night before bed, like before sleep. Oh. There was a category of like when you, like, just like when you get home from work. Oh, of having sex when you get home from work. Isn't that upsetting?

No, see, that doesn't work for us because I timed dinner to be ready. for when Torbs comes home. But isn't everyone kind of, you get home and you're like, oh, okay, better cook some fucking, it just doesn't. My broccoli will burn. Yeah. Then what? That is a euphemism.

That smelled terrible. Burned broccoli in your house. God, I could live without that. Oh. Let me tell you, that's the last thing I need. That is just burning your broccoli. That sounds like, hey, what time you're finishing work? Feel like burning some broccoli this afternoon?

Oh, burning. your broccoli. That's the Europe of Perth. Jody Eddington, who is a Tapa. Hey, Jody. She said I really enjoyed the What's Older Than segment. Oh yeah. Because I found out I'm older than Google, which is really upsetting. Oh, that is upsetting. Why? When did Google come out? Not that long ago.

When actually, do you have the number? Do you have the year there? Can you Google? Can you Google? Can you Google? Ninety-eight. Oh, we're all older than Google. Oh, that's all the last, except Charles. Yeah. But Tony was really good at this game last time, so I've got a couple more. Okay.

You were really good at it. Was I? I think I got them all wrong. No broccoli was burned during the game, though. Yeah, no. Thank God. All right, everyone. Let's play.

We couldn't call it what. What's older than what? What's older than what? You're welcome. Jeans or selfies? What is? older. 1,000%.

Well, like, the invention of jeans or the first selfie ever taken. Yeah, I reckon jeans. Jeans, 1873. Yeah. The first selfie? 1839. What? Do we have the selfie in question?

A guy in Philadelphia appointed his clunky camera at himself and stood still for minutes. You know how you had to like stand there for ages? Oh, yeah. It was the world's first front camera fail. Oh, do we have the, like, does the photo exist? Are we just trusting this guy who wants to be famous? Just doing it for, doing it for clout. Oh, there it is.

Oh, oh, that's a hot photo. That is a hot photo. That's a hot photo. He's an attractive man. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. I'll take a picture of myself. Yeah. I bet he's got a hard job satisfaction.

That's what I'll say. I bet that guy and his wife broccoli burning 24-7. That broccoli is barely getting in the, let alone get now I'm done looking thanks Charles in the first jeans but the word selfie though

that's new isn't it like that's only like 10 years old well he didn't probably say at the time what's up bitches here's a selfie here's a selfie oh my delete later what would he have posted it to he posted it to

oh fuck now I got nothing what's the opposite of Insta Later Old star Oh, old star Oh, old star Um, Barbie or Velcro Oh

Oh Inspired by a saucy German doll A mum thought What if my daughter's doll Actually had boobs and boom Barbie was born I know that Barbie's pretty old But I feel like Valkro

Oh, maybe Valkro's pretty new Because they never had, like, because what's Velcro on? Wallets, shoes, like kids, stuff. Yeah. I reckon Barbie's older. Oh, does that feel crazy? This is the story of Velcro. A Swiss engineer got burrs stuck on his dog's fur and went,

huh, and invented the noisy fastener every toddler now fears. What a horrible. description of Velcro. Yeah. I think Barbie. Barbie, 1959. Ooh. Oh, there's the same year.

My mom was born. Valcrow. Barbie didn't die at the same time, obviously. Still gone. Velcro? Uh-huh. Velcro 1941. Fuck off.

Oh, I hate this game. I thought Velcro sounded a bit like new Fandangle. What's older? Velcro or a press stud. When was the press stud invented, Charles? Prestad, 1904. No, I reckon, I reckon Prestad, 1970. Really?

1885. What? 1885? 18. Yeah. 18. Oh, for fuck. All right.

What about a Zip? When was a Zip invented? I reckon a Zip's newer. I reckon a Zips newer than a press stud, but older than Valkro. I'm going 1923. 1917. That's pretty close. I wasn't far off.

That's pretty close. And I was in the right spot. Final question for Tony Lodge. Okay. Cat videos or Oreos. Well, I reckon cat videos have existed since videos were, I think. And if I read you the description of how cat videos was invented, you would know the answer. Or would you.

I'm going Oreos is older. Oreos were created in 1912. Fucking hell, that's an old biscuit. Stale. Fancy biscuit at the time was marketed as dainty and expensive. Expensive was a word to try and sell it. That it was like, be the bitch you want to be, eat an Oreo. But it wasn't called luxury.

It was called, like they marketed it as expensive. I don't really like Oreos. I only like Oreos in McFlurries from McDonald's. Oh yeah, like an Oreo McFlurry. But straight up, it's just like, I'm just not a biscuit guy. I just think that Oreos, they taste a bit sandy and dirty. And you just have shit stuck in your teeth for three weeks. Is Biskoff overrated?

Oh, 1,000%. If Biskoff died, no one would miss it, except for losers without personality. Yeah, and it feels a bit early for a hot take, but there you fucking go. I was like, well, Biskhoff is for losers. Biskopf is the mandera of biscuits. And not the Paris end of. No, it couldn't be further. Yeah.

Or maybe it's the shit parts of Europe. What's that? I don't think that exists. So true. Everywhere's beautiful. Before I guess and just offend a whole nation's inside of war. What about it? Cat videos, so 1912 Vazoreas.

Yep. Cat videos were invented by Thomas Edison, who literally filmed two cats boxing in his studio in 1894. I didn't even know that videos were that old. We could have been posted on the gram long ago. Yeah, why did we wait until 2021 to start this? So dumb. I reckon Thomas Edison.

Here's a hot tape. I reckon Thomas Edison would like the hot take. Like the segment? Yeah. I reckon he'd love that. Why don't you ask him? He invented the phone. No, that was Graham Bell.

Alexander Bell? Alexander Graham Bell. So close. We're both right. We're both right. Is that why they say give you a bell? Yeah. Oh.

Did you? Never thought about it. Until now. What came first? My body or my brain? Hi, I'm Grace from Toledo, Ohio. I'm Sophie from Santa Carita, California. Hi, my name is Tori from Marysville, Michigan.

And we're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tuftas over at our Patreon. Thank you very much for being part of it because we absolutely love to see it. We can't make the show without you. Lakin Campbell, good on you, Lakin. Camilla, love you, Camilla, thank you. Lucy Coulter, Chontel Wilson, Katrina Hawley, love to see it, Katrina, Brianna A, Katie, Stephanie Bone, Morning Bone, Afternoon, Bone,

and Lucas, Lucas, love to sit. I wonder if Stephanie Bone does the after work. I have to ask her. Depends on the job as well, though, right? Yeah, like, if you work late or if you work and hunt, you come home, you like to your shower thing, you know? Or if your partner or like, who, whoever you're sleeping with, whatever.

Like, if you work at, like, opposite ends of the day as well, it's just, like, impossible. Mm. Like, because you probably don't go to bed at the same time. You probably aren't together in the morning. Yeah. When I worked the, like, graveyard shift at the hotel. Yeah.

There was always the rush home to try and get one away before the partner went to work. For you? Yeah. Oh, I just like industry chat. Oh. You know, fellow graveyard. Just swear that you said the partner. I was like, oh.

Let's do normal. Okay. Two games in one day. What a great day. It is a great day. Yeah. It's a great day to have a great day. It always is.

Tarp a crystal has a normal. Crystal. With a K or C. C. R. Well, yeah. Y. S-T-A-L. Yeah.

The R was implied, I think. Like, because they're, yeah. Without it, it would have been sysdral. Kiss. Crystal. Kistel whipped. Every time I get the hiccups, I get unreasonably angry. Not like, how annoying.

Like pure fury. My friends laugh, but I just see red. I get so fucked off. Is this normal or nah? Ask Crystal with a C. I don't know. Oh, and ah, oh, that changes everything. I think normal.

Yeah. It's really frustrating, especially when you like can't get them to go away. Don't you just scare people? Or is that a myth? No, I think it does work, but I think it's just, if you distract someone that works, so it's like the scaring is supposed to just like kind of take you out of it. So if you distract someone that's supposed to get rid of hiccups, but like... Because if I on any day or you today had the hiccups and someone tried to scare us,

we'd probably just shit ourselves. Yeah. And that's... Today wouldn't be good. That's what I mean. Yeah. I would argue. I've got diarrhea.

I don't want to tell anyone else how to live their life. I would rather have the hiccups than shit myself. And I think that's fair. You would rather have the hiccups than shit. No, totally. Yeah, sorry, I just had to quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, carry the five. We saw that happen.

That's fine. I think that that's also why I don't like pranks. Because I could shit at any time. And that's not part of the prank. That's real. But I don't. Should we get Ryan? I don't want to be here.

I wouldn't. Yeah, when he blows. If he gets shocked. Like, we could all go down with him, you know? It's good to know yourself. I'm self-aware. Yeah, yeah. It is what it is.

Yeah. And just don't scare me or come up from behind. Especially come up from behind. Yeah, well, you've come up from my behind and I tell you what. I think that's why I don't like prank. So I don't like being scared. Yeah. And I don't like having to think about whether someone's trying to scare me.

I think the best thing about us not doing pranks is I never have to go, am I being pranked? Or are you fucking with me? Or am I going to walk in and you're all going to, like, you know, I just, I really like not having to worry about that because every other place that I've worked has been a pranky workplace and I hate it. Like, you're fucking nerves a shot. By the end of the day, you just exhausted. Your broccoli's fucked.

You're not having sex and you're just so over it. It's truthful out there. Betterhelp.com. I won't name the name until my memoirs that I'll never do. But I once got a talking to from a celebrity. You know who it is. Yeah, Dave Hughes. Tell the story about.

No. No, tell the story but. He just put me in my place one day and I thought he was pranking me. And here's the thing. And my goes, yeah, fuck, pull the other one, mate. If someone is having a go at you. Dave Hughes. And you go.

I think he's pranking me. That doesn't make it better. It actually makes it so much worse. Dave Hughes gets mad too. Yeah. You out of me about the surgeon giving me his phone number. So here's my revenge. Yeah.

No, but I think like if I... He invited me for a coffee and I was like, cool. I get to have a coffee with Hughesy and he just hosed me down for 15 minutes. I'm not saying... Did you get a coffee? yeah and he paid which was actually very generous of him I mean he had to after fucking what he said to you imagine after all that and I go and you go oh man I can't borrow five

he would be scary like I would be very intimidated once I realized I wasn't being prank then I pooed and but also I was a young with a snaffron radio I was like is my career over oh one you and you would like if he hasn't signed off then what are we doing here Yeah, he's the king of cockpity. Couldn't leave and say it.

He didn't even say it, no. So. Yeah. Ryan's memoir is now available. Thanks for saying who it was. That's all right. It's time Hughes, though. Yeah.

Yeah. And Tony has a crush on a surgeon, Dr. Taylor. I think he's going to crush on me. No, we don't do pranks, but we're getting into a weird territory now. Yeah, sorry, we are. I was like, where do we go from here? Yeah. Nothing else that anyone wants to bring up?

Nah, but we can beat me saying who it is. Oh, I don't think so. Yeah, we can beep who it was. Will we beat all of the five times that you said? Yeah, we can beat who it was. No, I'll leave it in. Oh. Sounds fine.

It was Dave Hughes all of a sudden. Normal or nah, this is from Alex. Now you're going to have to use your imagination here, Tony, because this one's for penis havers. Okay. Instead of like, because you don't, sometimes how penis havers pee, like, I don't get it.

Tony doesn't get it. I've tried to show her. She doesn't get it. What if you're standing there and then need to poo? You can't just turn around shit in the urinal. Can you? Well, I wouldn't advise. Well, you could.

I wouldn't advise. Have you? Shat in the urinal? No. Oh. Have you, Charles? But I have, I probably should of one day.

Because when I was a... Like better the urinal than your pants. Well, one day I was peeing and I was like, like I'm going to shit and then tried to like back it up from the piss tray back into the stall while you were still pissing well I was kind of like a cock out kind of like a you know like oh suck it in yeah like operation can and then that's also the height of if anyone when Austin Powers came out and then you run to the next year at all yeah that's fun um yeah and I didn't make it when I was so you piss on the floor and shoot your pants

school yeah oh alpha me's primary school yeah I didn't back it I was just like oh I'll now so like no back it up my that's not gonna work I'll finish the piss and then and then I think and this is gonna piss everyone off I think I thought that urinals were like a grown-up thing and I don't really not like I thought that that was something you like graduate too like wearing a part of bra. Well, they did ask me what bra I was wearing on a walk into the year and all that day. But like, no, in primary school there was like the piss tray.

Oh, I just would have thought that was like a, uh, for grownups. No, it's actually, you don't do that until you're older or something. No, it would actually be like, how easier. Oh, because it's like bigger. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's, yeah, I just would have thought that you don't do that until you're older. But I don't really know why.

So if you were going to a piss tray, what would you do, Tony? Like, how would you, you know, get it out and do the biz. Well, I assume, and this is me saying this because this is what I've always thought, is that you unzip your fly and undo the button and like shimmy your pants down and then pull your knickers down as well. Do you want me to do it? Yeah.

Okay. All right. So what I would do is I assume that you walk up to the thing. Yeah. And you go, you do, and you go like this. Yeah. I don't. You actually did it.

Do you want me to take my pants off? I don't think so. Why are you taking your pants off? I should. Just go through the motions. Okay. Fly first. Yep.

Button second. Shimmy down to here. So I've got here. And then my nickys, shimmy them down as well. And then I, I imagine I've got a big one. Yeah. Tony looks like. like she's holding a 17 kilogram kettlebell.

That's just how I hold yours. So I just do you kind of, I reckon as well you've got to do this a bit. Oh, no, I'd do the opposite. You got like thrust out like this. Well, if you could, we'd piss onto the top of the roof the first way you were doing it. So do you do a bit of that. Don't aim it at my face. You were very.

Aggressive. So that's what I imagine. So what? You don't have to pull anything down. You just kind of like flop it out the front. Oh, how long is it? It's not a length issue. It's just how it's done.

Oh. So when you did the shimmy down, everyone's like, whoa. Oh, you're not shimmying down. Very little shimmying. So. Charles, were you disturbed by what Tony's just said?

Yeah, very. I was very confused. It was pulling the pants down, then the underwear down. But what's the point of undoing the fly then? So true Well how am I going to get my pants down If my fly's done up

Just pull them down Pull them down What? What? Yeah flies are just like Some mythical thing That aren't really required in life For men

Okay I think on women's jeans But like Then how are your pants Not just falling down all the time We've got hips No no no but like And belts

In fact I didn't wear a belt for 15 years. Yeah, because your fly hold your pants. Like, no, dude, I think you got it all wrong. No, because when you undo the button and the fly and that opens like the triangle, then obviously like loosens the waistband or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

How would you just get your jeans down without? We just pull them jeans on and you pull them down. Like, Traxswip pants don't have jeans. How do you get them off? No, but they're elastic and like loose. Tracks suit pants don't have jeans. You're right. Yeah.

I think that people are going to disagree with that. Lily's also disagreeing. I don't understand either. I'm with you, Tony. Yeah. Like, what? How do you get your jeans down without undoing the fly? Do you want me to show you?

So you don't undo your, you don't unzip your pants when you take them off? Both of you. Sometimes, maybe, no. Like, not like, out of habit. Just take them off? Like, how you would pull down tracks. pants. I'm actually not doing this for a joke, but show me

you pulling your jeans down right now without undoing them. You can turn around or we can cut it out or whatever. I am shook. Okay, so you're wearing a belt? Yeah. And I would just... Yeah. Hang on. See?

See? Oh my God. You know how stuff's just places? What's the zip for? Luckily, bothering jeans. I mean, you're not really anymore, but Charles... Charles... Charles didn't realize that I hadn't put my jeans back on.

I'm not being funny. You never are. But you look like... Redact that. I redact that. You actually are always being funny. You look like you're taking shit. I do, don't I.

Yeah. Like it's actually comical that you're... Because all we can see is your knees there. Can we make sure that my knees are... Oh, there we go. The wide shot. What'd you call me? Oh my God.

Right. So now that we've established that... Yep. The normal or nah is when you're wearing shorts... Yep. Instead of flopping it out the top. Alex says normal or not just like going out the side of the leg

Charles do you do that? Hang on so if you're wearing elasticated short is that the idea is that it's elasticated or any short so you just kind of like out of... So what do you mean poke it out the top? How long is it? No instead of flopping it out the top to pee you would pee out the bottom

of the other leg. Now I'm not being funny but there's a boy in this room wearing shorts. Well I'm Who's, no, no, no, no, hang on. You just go like, as they out the side there. Did you sit inside of my ball? Yeah, I saw a bit of balls hack, yeah. Your legs are nice.

You've got a nice calf, and you know that. I actually, in 2024, was named by Dolly magazine, the Carves of the Year. 2024? Oh, 20206. 2026? No, no, 2006 or 2004 was like Carves of the Year. Do we have that article? we research that?

Yeah, it should be there. Charles, as the boy who's laughing quite a lot, who's wearing shorts in the office today. Short shorts. I can actually see, I can almost see under the desk here. Yeah, I'm looking Charles in the eye right now. Is that something that you do?

I can't imagine that. I don't need to see it, but I can't imagine it. Charles, actually stand up. Is it? Is that what you're doing? doing?

No, but like, you could. It's possible. So I'm looking right at your penis, and I don't, I don't mean to. Come here, Charles, and face, so we can see you. Do you know what Charles said me? Oh, something's happened to the camera. Oh, it's fixed now. Oh, God.

Um, I'm just looking at Charles. So imagine if Charles was peeing, instead of going, like, instead of like, the pads coming down a bit, he would just like, coming this way, you just out here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We're just like, that's funny that's good you know Charles as you're walking back to Jess Charles said me a video this morning Whoa Who's getting a pay rise

And it was like a girl holding a potato And she's like She's like I'm holding a pineapple right now But if you see a potato We have to make out Charles said me that this morning And was it a potato

Oh yeah Guess he was getting a pay rice um yeah okay so is that normal then or not i feel like it's the thing that my dad would do on a fishing trip or like it's a not when when when men used to like the old boys like when the boys in the 80s had the short shorts and they'd just be like out camp and just go oh yeah yeah see i get it if you're wearing footy shorts yeah or you're at the because they're so tiny yeah or you're at the footy how nice is a footy short yeah i'm a fan of a footy shot i'm a fan of a Judge, you still haven't answered by one way or the other.

I think he has. Because I'm probably like, I'd say very rarely. But you've done it? Yeah, but it is a way of, like, it's more discreet or a bit quicker if you're on the go. When are you in that much of a hurry that you've got to piss out the bottom of your shores? Well, that's one of last great questions. So true. Charles, normal?

Yeah, like, it wouldn't be like something like if I'm going to the toilet here, I wouldn't. Yeah. Would you do it at home though? No, like you couldn't be fucked. But like maybe like if you're like outside or something. Charles, do you sleep naked? Don't you don't have to answer that I just live in my box

Yeah I don't I don't get naked sleeping vibes from you But like you know when we were driving back From Launceston in the middle of the night And I need to pull over so I could piss I remember Because every time I would have overtaken like The same eight cars

And then Ryan be like Can we stop And then I'd be like Oh yeah Those eight cars fucking all go apart And go all right Get back in the Kluger Put my foot down

Get around the same eight cars We can't stop can we Yeah mate Just not that anyone's in the car buying market but what are uh what just what your thoughts on driving the cluga i liked the cluga yeah um i think um because that's a Toyota hybrid yeah so what do you do you put fuel in or you just plug it in but it just goes for fucking ever yeah because we didn't get fuel at all yeah no um oh because we didn't know whether the hybrid was like how good it was yeah but

that fucking that car it was a bit sluggish but it did all right but when we pulled over in the middle of the night beside the road that's where you'd kind of do like a quick little uh oh yeah like if you had shorts on like just to give you the energy should i put my pants back on or we kind of it feels like it's fine now yeah okay the initial shock's worn off um so i'm gonna say it is a normal okay love that uh i got you love to see it here because we got to get out of here because my love to see it is my pins yeah that's going to be mine as well um well actually it's interesting i just mentioned the car my love to see it is My search for a new car is off.

Oh. Because Charles got me a new cable to charge my phone. And I'm back on. I'm all good. You know, the other day. So this is. Yeah, nah, all good. And he goes, oh, try this one.

And I plugged in and I went, it works. And he went, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Was the other cables fucking 12 years old.

Yeah. No, but the other cables like from a server. Oh, and they don't work. They fucking suck. And they are so expensive. How can, is it just because they know dumb fucking. fucking idiots like me are just going to turn up with and go oh i've got one percent can you just give us the thing and they go yeah they never work hey give me 10 000 dollars i'll give you

this thing that won't even work and you can go fuck yourself can i ask a question though question probably about like three months ago i put a cable in your car and that wasn't the cable i replaced it with yeah just question well do you know what i would say sounds like more of a statement yeah okay statement do you know what i would say has happened is that you've been somewhere and gone, my phone's about to die, taken that cable inside with you and like forgotten it or whatever, which is fair

enough. Yeah, I also borrowed Lily Charger four weeks ago and still haven't given that back. Yeah, we might just buy you a new one girlfriend. Sorry about that, well. But the other thing that happened was that while the search for the cable was on and we didn't know what the outcome might be, you

for a little bit did connect your car and phone via Bluetooth. I think I thought Bluetooth was like a bit of a scam. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. And then it works one day and I went, this is pretty good. Do you want to hear the fun? And I'm talking to the tarpest strictly.

Do you want to hear the funniest thing that's ever happened? Ever. All of us have independently experienced this in the last six days. You often give me a call on your way home from work and we'll let debrief about the day. Or be like, oh, did you see that thing? Whatever. sometimes it's just a bit of a yarn like yesterday we just had a bit of a yarn

for fucking 40 minutes, whatever you had called everyone in the crew at some point from the car and to all of us when we answered you went Can you hear me? Can you?

Lily, can you hear me? Sorry, I'm on the Bluetooth I'm on the Bluetooth, can you hear me? To all of us separately. Hang on, you don't speak for others. Confirm. Charles? Yeah, he did that thing.

I just don't trust it. And your wife, Bridget, told me when I was with her on the weekend, that you did the same thing to her as well. I'll tell you what I hate about my family. Fucking hell. I hope we're not coming to me next. I live in a house full of snitches. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, those girls will give anything up. They love to share information. Bridges throw me under the bus here. Yeah. And then... this morning I was like bridge before I leave like if you want to have a quick shower and stuff like like Mabel can just stay in the bed because like that's kind of the last chance for her to like yeah have a shower and blah blah yep and so me and Mabel were in the bed

yeah and like having a snuggle being silly and and dad did a little fluff little like in the morning you know in the morning you kind of you know through the day people yeah I don't I think it's fine but it's almost like I have my morning one One. Anyway, and I was like, hey, Mabes, like, that's just between us. Oh, I did a fart. Yeah. Literally, Bridget opens the door from the bathroom, and Mabel just goes,

Dad farted! And I was like, a family of snitches. Yeah, but that means, though, that when, like, Bridget farts, you could tell Mabel. Like, it all comes back around, you know. You've got one in the bag now. I just, I just trusted her, you know? Yeah, no, so fair. And I'm sorry that she did that to you.

nothing's sacred in my house yeah I've got to you love to see it oh sorry my just one more just to finish that one off sorry just threw my iPad into the ocean tarpa M said speaking of buying a new car

because Ryan didn't have a charger that worked I told my husband we needed a new car because my water bottle didn't feel in the fit in the cup holder gotta be hydrated so true so true yeah love that M

I absolutely right that that's so funny if anyone else has the dumbest reason to get a new car Whether you actually got it or not, I don't mind. But if you did, the thought went through your mind of, yeah, that's not quite right. I think I need a new car. Well, this, this might. And smugness, rich jokes aside, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, I love it. It's just fun. Well, someone from, after we talked about this and I paid you out a little bit about the cable, I was like, you know, maybe you don't need a new car, maybe just replace the cable. Someone messaged on Patreon and said, Tony, do you remember? This is actual lodge area is 101. It is. It is laziness, spending money because you're lazy.

Someone said, Tony, do you remember when you were going to get laser eye surgery because you didn't want to find a new optometrist? You'd have to find a laser eye surgery. I would do it again. Hang on. Today is the 20th of November. Yeah. Beautiful time of year.

Let's timestamp this because this is what I suspect will be. January 2027 That I will have gotten laser eye surgery No no Oh well maybe but I hope so In terms of I can't believe we got a new Oh yep yep

Remember that time Tony bought a new house So it had a garage to fit her new car Because the paper didn't work anymore Yeah we'll look back at this day 2027 I'm waiting till Oh No like we'll look back at now and go Oh, I surgeon, don't worry about it.

She bought a fucking house to justify her new car. I don't have a garage. So, you know, what I really enjoy about that is that in January 2027, when we come back to this time and Charles is still pissing out the bottom of his shorts and whatever, we'll be reminded of when you did the podcast without pants on. We'll cut back to this moment. Everyone goes, why is he sitting there without pants on? I'm wearing them on my ankles.

Yeah, yep. I've got to love to see it, though, here from... Your Honor. I wasn't naked. I was just wearing them very low. They were dropped down. Low slung jeans. Scott McCarthy sent this through on Patreon and I love to see this.

Scotty says, I've always wanted to learn Japanese and I've actually been to Japan before. Kenichi Wa. But after trying books and CDs like a few different like online lessons and just never really took. Scott said I'd always give up because it got too hard or it just I just wasn't vibing it. But today he's hit a three. Oh, Tony's getting emotional.

Oh, my God, I'm choked up. It's the pants. It's the plates. But today, he hit a 365 day streak on Duolingo learning Japanese. A year! Isn't that awesome? That's fucking huge. He's like, a whole year, I actually stuck with it.

And it's finally paying off because now I'm thinking about doing classes in a group to keep going. So that you can, like, converse with each other. Because that's where I reckon. learning a language is when you need to actually talk to other people and not just do the same. Yeah. Or just go to Japan and just like... And just test it out.

Yeah. I mean, they do great flight. Was it Scott? Scott. Scott. Toileney. It's a moed desk car. Where is the toilet please? But aren't we done? But where is the toilet please? You're already ready to go.

No one's scam me. We love to say it. Thank you for sharing that, Scott. Thank you for sharing your tales about your, why you need a new car. Yep. And we'll just play Ryan out. I'd like for you to walk off with your pants down. Have a great weekend, everyone. We'll see you tomorrow on YouTube.

All right. Oh, beautiful. Love you, bye. Oh, that's nice from the back as well. Love you, bye.