Toni and Ryan - We Purchased Orgasmatrons

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

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Whether renting, renewing a mortgage, or considering buying a home, everybody has housing costs on their minds. For free tools and resources to help you manage your home finances, visit Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. At Algoma University, your future has no limits. Here, you can go further, in the classroom, in the field, and well beyond. We provide personalized education, cultural fluency, and training for in-demand careers. We don't just prepare you for the future. We prepare you to change it.

Plus, Algoma has the most affordable tuition in Ontario. Make the most of your university experience. Go further. Apply to Algoma University today. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Or the Tony Lodge.

Hello. We are calling Lauren who's in Sydney, Australia. Oh, big laws in Sydney. Big L doll. Never gone to the CITO in my life. No one calls it that. No. Please don't tell Lauren that because I'm trying to impress her.

Lauren. Hi Lauren. Hey. Hey. How are you? Please don't tell Lauren that because I'm trying to impress her. Lauren! Hi Lauren! Hey! How's it going? We are doing well. Are you in the car on your way to your shit job that you're about to leave?

I've been at my shit job since 6am this morning. So I'm currently in my work van. I'm just going to pull over and do the right thing. Yeah, great call. Great call. Not a tech person. Okay. Oh, you nailed that. You've nailed that.

Sorry, Lauren. Thanks for pulling over. I just have one quick thing to ask. Did Ryan finger you on a plane? What? One could only hope. Well, I'm just, I've got to do my research, my due diligence, Quick thing to ask, did Ryan finger you on a plane? One could only hope. Well, I'm just, I've got to do my research, my due diligence, and I'm trying to find a Lauren on this planet that Ryan hasn't put his fingers inside. And I'm failing, I'm failing so far.

I could ask the other three Laurens that I currently work with. Ask them all. Get them on the phone. There won't be any. Five way call. Sounds a bit like what you did. Doesn't that? Five way call all the way in.

Oh, I hope this isn't on a video show because Tony just waved her hand like a surgeon putting his fingers into a glove. That's what Lauren saw last thing she saw. Righto, righto. Lauren, will you approve today's podcast? Oh, 100%. Oh, thank God. Legend. I thought you were going to quit on us.

Hi, I'm Lauren from Sydney and I approve this podcast. For those of you watching on YouTube, doesn't Tony just look delicious today? Delicious. Thank you. New shirt? Yeah. Now, Tony's wearing a green shirt with some fun patterns and words and a denim jacket. What does it say on your shirt? Because there's been some contention in the office this morning.

So for people watching, let me move my microphone so you can see. Yep. Uh, so it says. It says soleil like the sun. Yeah. Party time. Cause it's a fun party shirt. But the thing is when the jacket's on, the, the jacket covers the S at one end

and the eye at the other. So it just says oily. No, it says like O-L E is, or you can see the eye when you walked in and it said oily. So it looks a bit like it just says, oh, like Spanish. Oh, that's better than oily. You just walked in and like, what's up bitches. I'm oily. But O L E I isn't oily. O I L Y would be oily. So that does say Olay.

Yeah. O-L-E. So O-L-E is Olay and O-L-E-I is also Olay. Yeah. Fuck Spanish, man. Fuck language. You just don't even get English though. So like forgive me for not trusting you,

but it is actually a bit of a design flaw. I feel that when I've got a jacket on it says, oh, like, I think it's a cool shirt though. It actually is. It looks like a big orange sun on it. Yeah. Well, you are my big orange sun. I needed that today. Is it just us?

And it's probably not, it's just like the fashion now, but like, cause we would never have wore like shirts with stuff on it. Like it's like a fun thing. We're like merch guys now and we're wearing fun patterns and words and shit. Yeah. I quite like it. Cause I think though, as a concept, you and I have accepted color. So I bought a Bridget a t-shirt that said, get this in your Rita, a Margarita. It's very cute.

And it has the ingredients for a margarita on it. It's very cute. So if you ever forget, you go, Hey, turn around, bridge. You should have a look. And she goes, Oh, again. And I go, no, I'm just going to make you a drink. Redact that I feel. Redacted.

Yeah. Redacted. Yeah. And also redacted, I said to Sophie before we started. Thank you. So I've, he's left. The speaking of things that Sophie has had to endure and should have been redacted in the office. The other-

What are you talking about? How just before she said, I need a tissue and you said, what are you about to come? Redacted. However, you know, that is what you said. Off air. Yeah. I say stuff off the air all the time. You redacted it, not me.

We recently learned that the first time Tony did the hippity dippity Team America was playing in the background. Yes. And I regret my choices. Can I just like- Is the movie or the what was happening during it? No, like that was fine. And it was, you know, like with a boyfriend that I'd been going out with, you know, so

it's like, that's all fine. I was very safe. It was like, like it was all good. Yep. But I think it is a sign of the times that we were watching the film Team America. Wow. I haven't watched it since. Yeah, because of the haunting memories.

Or it's not the same. The horny memories. Do you remember what scene was happening? No, I don't. Because there's a few funny big scenes in that movie. I actually couldn't tell you what the like thing, like the plot of the film.

I'm sure that it hasn't aged well. And I am not like, this is not me standing by that. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was a sign of the times. It would have been what? Like, I'm not going to say the year. Um, but you know what I mean?

Like it was a long time ago. Uh, Chloe Marie, who watches the show, listen to the podcast. I love Chloe. Uh, she said mine was also Team America. I'm actually dying. I cannot believe someone else feels the pain of that memory. Now let it be, let it be known. Since we've read that comment, we had to do some cross-checking to find out that Tony and Chloe's first time wasn't each other. Because how many times are people losing it to Team America? And unfortunately for me, it wasn't with Chloe.

It was with the boyfriend that. That is a shame for both of you. It is. Malcolm says, I hope he shouted, Matt Damon when he finished. Oh, that is so upsetting. Who said that? Malcolm. Oh, Malcolm.

Oh, you yucky bitch. Let us know in the comments of the episode thread today of what movie was on. Cause I, the thing I loved about this was like, and I just told Ryan this, it was off air. And I was like, I said that it kind of came to me in like a fever memory. And I told Torbs and we were laughing about it because what a teenage thing to have happened. But I think that we often think about like, what was the beautiful song playing in the background?

But the reality is, is you were probably like your boyfriend was over and you had told your parents you were watching a movie and you fucking did the hip. 100%. This is, but no one talks about banging movies. They talk about banging songs, but not banging movies. I also don't think that like, like you watch a movie and that first time is like so special and there's a candle or something. It's not like that. That wasn't like that for me. And I don't, I can't, don't regret it. And it was like, fine. And it was all good, but it wasn't like a beautiful memory that I like treasure.

Yeah. Like Andrew said, I assume mine was Titanic because I went down and she stayed up. Emma says mine was fast and furious. He was fast and I was furious. Beck says the Texas chainsaw massacre. Oh, a choice. But again, you know, I reckon this next one's a common one. Oh, actually look me in the eye. Think about how old we are.

Think about the movies that were on when we were late teens, early 20s and the movie that we love. And that is maybe embarrassingly a kind of a little bit of a horny movie or has horny moments. Has horny moments. Or horny characters. Oh. Now I'm going to count down from three and you're going to say the movie. Three, two, don't overthink it. It's right there.

Shrek 2. Sorry, it's the only, I'm a dick up. And it's not horny at all, but I don't know what movie you're doing. Some people have mentioned Shrek because we love Shrek here, but Xavier said, I was watching Austin Powers. Oh, yes. Yeah, no, that's a good one. Yes, no, that's a good one. That is a good one.

Yes. No, that is a good one. Matty says I gave my first hand job watching The Devil's Wears Pradas. That's amazing. And you know what? I'd give someone a hand job during that movie as well, because it's so fucking boring. You got to fucking find something else to do, because that movie sucks, dick.

And so do I. Yep. And he was watching Andy whilst getting a handy. I assume that's a character from the film. Hated it so much. Fuck, I hate that movie. Yeah. Katie Richins, who's one of the oldest OG tarpers. I love Katie.

Mine was Scrubs and the guy ended up becoming a doctor. Is that coincidence chat or do we think they're like genuinely related? They can't be related. And I do think though, like a doctor function after a few fucking red wines, I reckon he goes, yeah, well, actually the thing is that when I was watching Virginia, I was watching Scrubs. And look at me now, dad. And that's when I when I was my virginity, I was watching Scrubs. Oh, look at me now, dad. And that's when I knew I was going to be my own little Mcdreamy.

I don't think that's the same show. Oh, that's Grey's Anatomy. Are they not the same show? No, Scrubs is worse. Oh, how? I know. Scrubs. I know that I'm not allowed to legally say this on the internet.

Scrubs sucks. I'm not sure the business can handle this after the Lion King chat the other day. The Lion King chat, the Devil's Wears Prada's chat, and now this. Are you, like, do we even fucking bother next week? You know what I mean? Like. Take the leak off, sweetheart. And the rest of our lives.

Nah. Fuck, dude. I mean, you just said it was bad as well. So don't get on your fucking high horse. I was just, yes. Ending. I was just, what? No, I said it's worse than thing. And you said, yeah, how's that possible?

I was being supportive. I didn't say anything bad about that. I just don't know a single character in the Devil's Wears Prada that I like. That it sucks. That it's a terrible film. They're all shit. I don't know why people think, for Devil's West Prada that I like. That it sucks. That it's a terrible film. They're all shit. I don't know why people think for lots of people that movies they're like go to. She dogs her friends and is really like a entitled millennial brat.

But like, I just, why do those kids get to read Harry Potter before everyone else? Ah, it's shit. It's a shit fucking film. And then she doesn't even eat that cheese sandwich. What a dickhead. It's full of Jarlsberg. Stupid. Anyway, move on.

Lou was watching Nacho Libre. And Miss Lollipop, that's her name on TikTok, was watching Borat. Oh, that nice. I wonder if she ended up marrying the guy. Oh, sorry. You know what? It tells itself and I don't need to say it. I'm going to hold it in. Jess's was Tomb Raider. Speaking of not saying it.

But what was he doing at the time, Tony? I don't think he was a Tomb Raider. I think he was a Womb Raider. Speaking of not saying it. But what was he doing at the time, Tony? I don't think he was a Tomb Raider. I think he was a Womb Raider. Play the thing. Play the thing. Hey, it's Lauren from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Oh, that coffee smells good. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let's get you another coffee. Feeling distracted? You're not alone. Many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with mortgage payments on their minds. If you're struggling with your payments,

speak to your bank. The earlier they understand your situation, the more options and relief measures could be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. At Algoma University, your future has no limits. Here, you can go further, in the classroom, in the field, and well beyond.

We provide personalized education, cultural fluency, and training for in-demand careers. We don't just prepare you for the future, we prepare you to change it. Plus, Algoma has the most affordable tuition in Ontario. Make the most of your university experience. Go further. Apply to Algoma University today. A massive shout out to a few of our- I waved and did a thumbs up at the same time and I was just doing this. I was trying to pitch hike. Oh, do you remember at the basketball when I did a shuckers?

Yeah, I do. That was so embarrassing. I actually think about that heaps. Yeah. So does everyone else at Madison Square Garden that night. Who's that girl doing shuckers in 2023? That was not good. That was almost exactly a year ago. The anniversary of me doing a shuckers. Actually, yeah. This week we were leaving for Texas, baby.

Well, I think we were already there. Didn't we leave on like the 15th or something? I can't go back. But you know what I mean? Like, yeah, we were already there, I think. That feels like three weeks ago and five years ago at the same time. I know, crazy.

A massive shout out though, to a few of our champion tapas and probably a few of the people that we met on the road. Rebecca Shartow, thank you Rebecca. Jackie Ha, Zach Nemick, big name. We saw Zach Nemick when we were there. Jessica Wardlaw and Emma Bob. Good on you, Emma.

Thanks Emma. And all the names that you can see scrolling along the Emma Bob. Good on you, Emma. Thanks, Emma. And all the names that you can see scrolling along the bottom of the screen, you might be wondering what they are. That is all of our Patreon tarpers. So every person that's a tier in our Patreon is running across the bottom of the list. And if you would like to be one of them, you can be.

And can I just say, what a beautiful, exciting time to join the Tony and Ryan Patreon. It's a great fucking time. Because not only on Monday, are we doing a Halloween crafting session live stream. Spooky. It's very spooky. That's on Monday. Come and join us. Monday, Melbourne time. So for Europe and the US. A, B, D, T. Yep. It'll be Sunday, Arvo Sunday night in Europe and the US.

Don't actually listen to Ryan. But that's true though. No, don't listen to Ryan. Look it up yourself. Look it up yourself. Don't trust me, but I believe it is around that time. But don't let him throw you off. But here's the big Patreon announcement. Woo. You haven't said it yet. Sorry. Save my woo. Little woo girl. Must be a Friday. Oile. Oile.

Last year we did a surprise gift for our champion tarfers. We did a Tony and Ryan and BJ and Pippa, our dog's Christmas card. Yeah. And we were wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and we were wearing reindeer ears. BJ, my dog, he doesn't like the reindeer ears, he didn't like that. Us trying to take the photo, it was fucking carnage because the dogs were just going mental. So I think it ended up being like one photo only of each of us was good.

And I think Mu might've been a bit of a, can you put my face from that one onto this one because the dogs were going wild and it was like a hundred fucking degrees Celsius. It was so hot. And actually if you're watching on YouTube, let's pop it on the screen. And also all the photos of people who randomly get, get this gift. Cause we sent it out to all the champion tarpas. Yeah. So that was a surprise.

This year it's not a surprise. Cause we're giving you the heads up. Giving you a heads up and you've got time to act. Yeah. Walk, don't run. No, run. Don't walk. Anyone who's a champion tarpa from November one, like on November one,

on November one. Yeah. Are we right? We got this on November one. As of November one, we will shut November 1. Yeah. Are we right? We got this on November 1. As of November 1, we will shut the doors. Yep. And you will be receiving a Tony and Ryan 2025 calendar. And it's, can I just say, we thought, wouldn't it be funny if we dressed up a little bit?

And we have gone way too far off the deep end when it comes to themes and styles and dress ups and maybe, do you remember when I got for lunch the other day? When we were getting the dress ups? Yes. Should I post that video as a teaser or we do it? No, I don't think that we should, not yet. Okay, but let me just say that when I was wearing one of the things I was wearing, I walked down the street and I stopped traffic in Smith Street.

Yeah, it was a lot. Yeah, yeah. Cause I don't know if anybody's doing the maths right now, but a calendar, 12 months, there is 12 different scenarios of Tony and Ryan. Yeah, which we didn't, I mean, it's obvious in hindsight, but we went, that sounds fun. And then we went, we have to do 12 of them. Yeah, which we didn't. I mean, it's obvious in hindsight, but we went, that sounds fun. And then we went, we have to do 12 of them.

Yeah. So there's 12 different things, 12 different looks. And we are in the process of kind of making it at the moment. It's been a big few weeks getting all of this together. It's huge. So we'd really appreciate it if you joined as a champion top bar so that as many people as possible can see it because it's almost like so worth it. And can I say, please, they are not for sale.

No, you cannot buy this. You cannot. So they're not going to be added to our merch store after that. This is like just like the Frank Green water bottles. They will never come back. This is the one. Yeah, you have this opportunity. So if you're not a champion Tapa by the 1st of November with active fucking thing or whatever, um, you will not get it. That's it.

Doors shut and I'll see you later. Now frequently asked questions. The minimum for Patreon is a month, right? Yeah. So if you sign up today, uh, you'll be there for November one, obviously, but that means you can watch the live stream on Monday. You can watch live from DCI, which will be out there soon. Yeah.

And you can also be a champion TAPA and see all the other champion TAPA shit that's ever existed on the back catalog. So three, four years worth of posts, all the old TAPAthon live streams, every other live stream we've ever done. But if you then just want to like take off calendar and fuck off, tick off November one and fucking see you later dog and cancel before the next month. That's actually so fine. No judgment. I don't make the rules, but I do make calendars. Yeah. But I don't make the rules. We just are going to make the one because it's been pretty hard. Yeah. I don't commit to calendars.

I would say there is a good chance this will be the only Tony and Ryan calendar. We might just change the year on the front next year. Actually no, yeah. Next year there will be calendars. Just give me a sharpie so I can... We'll just do that. Out of six. But we'll also get like, we'll sign them all, we'll post them to you. So it's really, really fun.

It's really exciting. But as I said, if you are not on that champion tier by November one, game over. Sorry. Can't buy it. Yes. Sophie Lodge. This might be a good logistics chat point. Please make sure your postal details are up to date.

Great chat. Great chat. So you can update those in the Patreon, like about me, all your personal details. That is where we will post it. So make sure you double check. Cause if it's like your ex fucking boyfriend's house, he's going to get your calendar. And we don't want that.

He might want that. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure he would love it. But you know. He will when he sees what Tony's wearing in some of them. Hello, March. If you know what I'm saying. Hello, March. All right. Look, there's two kinds of people in this world. There are the people that know

what an orgasmatron is. And there are people that don't. Do I get to say which one I am? Which one are you turning on? I'm someone who knows what it is. And whenever people describe this thing, I go, I know what you're talking about. Let me grab. But the thing is actually, if you don't know what an orgasmatron is, you're probably thinking something pretty aggressive, right? Well, yeah, I mean, when someone says orgasmatron, I think you think about a pretty aggressive sex toy. But.

And it is. Now I'm just here behind Tony. Yeah. Ooh. We'll share this microphone. Now I like it. How would you describe for people listening today? What an orgasm? As I was on you. I mean, it does what it says on the tin. I'm covering my face for legal purposes. Oh no.

Am I the only person left on microphone? Okay stop. Wow. It feels. Would you like to do it to Sophie? I don't know if legally I'm allowed to. Alright, I'll come. While you explain what it is, I'm going to go around to Sophie? I don't know if legally I'm allowed to. Yeah, you are. All right. I'll come while you explain what it is. I'm going to go around to Sophie and I'm going to orgasmatron her.

So what? Don't leave me on the GoPro. So what an orgasmatron. Sophie, a tissue. Another one. Um, I redacted. So what an orgasmatron is, is it is a, it's like little metal spikes that you push it down on the top of your head and it kind of just, it actually just gives you a

nice little, a nice little tickle. And, um, if you do it to yourself, it doesn't feel as nice, but if someone else does it, it's actually the most. Sophie's still got those tissues. It's actually the nicest feeling thing. And, oh my God, my whole body is tingling. My, oh my God. Why is it so?

I don't understand. It's just a little metal spikes, but it's, oh. But you can't really do it to yourself. Oh, and I don't know why that is. I also would recommend if you've got a child, I've been using this on my 18 month old daughter, Mabel. And if she's like, like a bit fidgety, I'll use this and she just stops

still and it's just like, and it's just so relaxing. Uh, but it is just a really strange feeling cause it really is. It is relaxing. It's so relaxing and it's called an orgasmatron, but it is not a sex toy. It's a thing that basically scratches the top of your head. And it, but it's the equal pressure around the whole thing. Yeah. Now I bought four of those on Amazon.

Guess how much for a four pack? Oh, $600. I mean, it feels like good. I would pay that. No, let me reframe. Not what is at work. Thank you. How much do you think it costs?

Oh, I don't know. I reckon. I mean, look at it. It's a couple of metal spikes. It couldn't have cost more than like 10 bucks. Four of them was 24 bucks for a four pack. That is the best value I've ever heard. That's almost as good value as our new calendar dropping soon in Patreon.

If I had to choose between a calendar and an Orgasm-a-tron, I would not be signing up to our Patreon. I'd pick the Orgasm-a-tron. Yeah, I'd pick that in a heartbeat. In fact, we shouldn't have mentioned these on the same day. Um, but, and I don't- How come you can't do it to yourself? You can, but it's just not the same. Oh, no. Tony's just, yeah, you're just spiking yourself in the head.

Do you know what? I was a bit worried when I did it to you that I would get caught on your mole. You know what I mean? The mole that I'm really self-conscious about, the moles on my head. The one that I don't like, that that makes me that I don't like. Oh, well, I didn't want to get caught on your mole. What'd you call me? Yeah, it got caught on your mole.

You have to be careful. So I don't, the reason they call it an orgasmatron, I assume because it just feels really amazing. Well, it gives you those little tingles. Uh, but obviously the word orgasmatron implies that it's like probably a dildo shaped as a fist. Yeah. Is what I thought.

The word Tron feels like just really fucking girthy. Yeah. So recently you've heard that Tony has been whining and dining our accountant, Nick. But not 69ing. Not whining, dining, not 69ing our accountant Nick. But she's been like getting special catering, breakfast charcuterie, trying to impress him

with different kinds of milks when he comes around for coffee, like really turning it on for accountant Nick. I actually did buy heaps of types of milk because you never, these days, these days. You actually don't know. These days, PC gone, man. Well, did you know that Mabel is an oat milk and I'm an almond and Bridget's. So where there's three milks in our house and it's just getting out of fucking control.

It's a, it's a lot. And then cause you go, Oh, hang on. Like which carton got opened most recently. Yeah. Then you've all of a sudden you've got a Sharpie in the fridge and you're in office works in the kitchen, you know? It's a tough life out in the suburbs, man. So I'm feeling a bit zingy because of the orgasmatron.

I feel like I just need to lay down. It's really relaxing though. Like I feel like you could do that just before you go to sleep and that would really like calm your mind. So Tony's been chatting up the account, Nick, but what Tony hasn't done is bought an orgasmatron four pack on the work card and have to explain that to someone that doesn't know what an Orgasm-a-tron is. And you should have seen the look on his face when he even had to ask us.

So where, um, for me, it was the not very polite and diplomatic, but it was the. Is there anything else anyone else has bought that they would like to tell me? That maybe they bought on the work card by accident. Because is there any other personal items? A personal, the word personal item is adding some. Yeah, it was a lot, but it was like, I'm going, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the I made a purchase on the work card. I'll send you that. And he'd go, oh, OK. And we could all sort of. And it was fine.

I mean, he was very protective of our privacy, even though the two of us, obviously, we tell each other everything. So the the comedy of if I had bought a sex toy on the work card would be very good. And I would probably laugh until I passed away. However, that isn't what had happened. And Ryan had to explain that it was just a spiky thing you put on your head. And then we said, you should try it. And he said, uh, BP, like, he's like, oh, so fuel on the next item on the agenda.

Um, I think the fact that it said Amazon or Gazmatron for pack one for every hole. Oh, oh, that's too far. Oh, my fucking apologies. Fucking Mother Teresa fucking over here. Oh, Tony, don't say holes. You just talked about the movie. I lost my fucking virginity too, but I'm not allowed to say holes. You've just talked about the movie I lost my fucking virginity to, but I'm not allowed to say holes.

I'm literally leaving. Like that is just, for some reason, the final fucking straw for me. I, do you have anything to say for yourself? Yeah. What were you saying? Do you want to leave that I just get up and walk away. It's actually making my nipples hard. Luckily I'm here. Luckily I'm wearing jacket.

There was a dot required above the L on that shirt. These poor people that are listening. Poor people that are listening. Four people that are listening, they're fucking straight today. Okay, I've had enough now. Okay. All right. I got to love to see it.

Is it the orgasm at wrong? Because who came up with this? Tony. They deserve a fucking Nobel peace prize. This is going to be a wild card thing to mention here today on YouTube and on the pod and everything because we've, we randomly threw it out there once and didn't hate it.

Okay. But maybe this is just the fucking band-aid that needs to be torn off. Oh no. Is the Orgasm-a-tron item number one on the Tony and Ryan Amazon storefront? Yes. Can someone figure out how to do that

before this episode goes live in 12 hours? Thank you. We'll figure that out. Sophie, you're not busy, are you? Yeah, you're not. She's like, oh, I'm shooting a hundred calendars. Do you have a calendar to make this week or anything to make?

It's all good. Sophie's trying to figure out how to use Photoshop. Yeah. Yeah. Busy week. This is my love to see it as a two-parter. First of all, can you watch this video from Zach Wickham? I didn't know who Zach Wickham was, but I love Zach Wickham.

I love his energy and I love that he's doing a community service today. This is a message for Phoebe Kong. If you want all of your awards from all of your tennis, which you're an amazing tennis player apparently. I think your mom cleaned out your room and took all your trophies to the goodwill. Oh, yep. Phoebe Kong. Oh, and you did softball.

God, you were super talented. Oh, and your other one. Yep, Phoebe Kong. Excellence in piano, babe. Okay, so you're a pianist that does, let's see. Oh, yep, your varsity all team second, whatever. For tennis. Let's see, most improved player.

Girl, you're talented, but I think your mom just gave up all your trophies to the goodwill. So if you want them back, they're on the goodwill Beverly Boulevard in LA. So he's just like, your mom's obviously cleaned out your room and all your trophies are down here if you want them final call call because it's all happening. Oh my God. And I just thought, what a great shout out by that guy, because he's like, girl, you're obviously just killing it alive. Look at all these trophies.

Like just a heads up, because, you know, you you moved to university, you go to college and eventually your room becomes a spare room and becomes mum's craft room. And you might go, see, well, Phoebe doesn't need all these anymore. We have an update. I was about to say, do we know what happened? Yep. Okay. Hang on. Opening the second video.

Hi, um, Phoebe Kong here, owner of the Goodwill Trophies. I am alive. Um, I knew they were being donated. I cleaned up my childhood bedroom. Um, I'm just surprised that Goodwill took them. Tennis star, trophy in question. Little gremlin piano player. And I don't really get trophies for any of those things now, trophy in question, little gremlin piano player. And I don't really get trophies for any of those things now,

but on to new things. Here's me at my art show last year, so. Okay, I've got something to say. Of all the things that you could donate, why would you donate trophies that have your name on them? Do you want to hear something awful? And this, I dedicate this to my high school friend, trophies that have your name on them. Do you want to hear something awful? And this I dedicate this to my high school

friend, Vicky Law Sparks, who is the worst at sports ever. Hi Vicky. She never got any trophies, so her mum went to a Goodwill and bought her one because she's like, oh, all your friends like winning trophies at school, but you're obviously an uncle and talented at other things, so here's a trophy for you. I just, that is just the last thing that I would think to donate. I've also never seen it in an op shop before. There's always a section. Yeah. Oh, I don't think I've ever seen a trophy in an op shop. And I have to think it's what's the point of, the point of trophies is not to go buy one. It's to win them and earn them. No, but my thing is just like who,

to go buy one, it's to win them and earn them. But no, but my thing is just like who, yeah, who would buy them? Parents of losers. Yeah, but like, I just think like, slay your achievements. Absolutely love it. But I just am like, if I was going through my like childhood bedroom and I found a medal or a trophy or whatever, that is just, I wouldn't go, I wouldn't even think you could donate that. And that's what she said as well.

I can't believe Goodwill took them. Well, if you just go to Box and you clean out your room and you just chuck everything in the Box and send it to Goodwill and go, you can decide. And obviously they're going, yeah, it's all good. That is so crazy. Wild. Well, mildly, I've seen it was the Good Samaritan

that was Zach and the fact that Phoebe's blowing up because of that thing and she's now an artist. And she's like, by the way, subscribe to my art and people are. Yeah. But Tony's just got beef with, which I don't agree, don't disagree with to be honest. I've got beef, I don't have beef with her. Well, the concept. But the concept of like donating that, I'm just, I just would never think to do that. Would you like me to get you a trophy from Goodwill?

No. I know I'm a loser. I don't need you to buy me a trophy. Shout out to Vicky who is a legend, but also like the most goofiest uncle person. Your mate. Not Phoebe. She's killing it. She's dominating. Yeah. I've got a love to say here as well that I text you. It's someone who's running a marathon and they need a little bit of support. It doesn't need any audio, but we'll pop it up on the screen. It's very, very sweet.

So he's just running along with his wife in his jeans and with a backpack. Well, yeah. So she goes, I'm really struggling Like I need you to run with me for a little bit. And without even hesitating, he's got jeans, a hoodie and a backpack on. He just starts running with them. And he's got like, um, like street shoes, not tied up that tight. He's like not prepared to run, but she goes, I just need you to run with me for a little bit. And he goes, like, doesn't even think about it. And just like starts jogging along with it.

Running in jeans and a backpack is a bit of a flex though, with the top comment. As if he, like other people are like, oh, look at this guy. Just take it off, you know? Whatever, yeah. But isn't that so sweet? He's sweet, he's sweet.

We all just need a little bit of support sometimes. And I just, that really melted my heart. So because he wasn't registered for the run, if he completed it, he would not have received a medal or trophy. Hopefully he's close by an op shop. Would there have been somewhere to purchase one? Hopefully, for his sake. Yeah, congratulations sir, or as I will now call you, Phoebe.

Yeah. But I love to see that, I thought that was so sweet. No, that is very cute. That is very cute. Alright. Have a great weekend. Yeah, sorry. No, never have a great weekend, but don't forget about the champion.

The Amazon storefront, but the champion live stream that will be happening on Monday morning, plus the calendars. Hope that we see you there. Love you so much. It doesn't work when you do it to yourself. I'm now wearing the orgasm. No, it'll bend it and then it won't be sexy anymore.

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