Toni and Ryan - WE VS THE WORLD

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Engagement rings, quizzes and things you can say in the car, and also in the bedroom. Love ya Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, is that Monique? It is, it is. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan. We're about a week early. Oh, my God. I was thinking it was some random call. I was like, who's the person calling me right now? I'm not prepared for this.

Yeah, I know. We've called a week early and I saw you were booked in because would you believe it? We've been stood up and we're sitting here like idiots wanting to get a podcast started and no one will give us approval. It's like me at my 21st birthday. Oh, I know.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now I was going to think of a joke but I don't have any. Like, my life is a lot of that. I mean, that's pretty good. That's pretty funny. That's pretty good. But, Monique, we really appreciate it because literally we've called

about seven people today and no one's answered. So we used to be flavour of the month, but now we're not. Yeah, it's awkward for us. I can't believe it. I'm actually angry with you. Thank you. I'm actually heartbroken. Monique, just quickly, if someone – actually, no, a question for Tony.

Tony, if you had something booked in for a week later and it just arrived on your doorstep, you'd be pissed, wouldn't you? You'd be pissed if you were like, oh, my God, I wasn't prepared for this. So have we passed our frustration onto Monique and ruined her day? Oh, sorry, Monique, about that one big mono. I'm actually having a really relaxed day. I'm just having a face mask and I'm going to go get a massage. Oh, all right, mate.

So I just removed my face mask and then you called me and I was like, who is this person calling me on a no caller ID? Hey, random one. Do you moan when you get a massage like Tony does? Not really. I kind of snore. Yeah. That's what you do, right?

Yeah, I'm a sleeper and a snorer. But a lot of masseuses last week in the group said that it's totally fine. It's a compliment. Yeah. But not like old Monique. They don't call me Monique for no reason. Oh, Jesus. We better let you go.

So, Monique, can we get you to approve this podcast? Are you good to go? Of course. I approve this podcast 100%. Not like all the other people that didn't answer our calls today. Hey, it's Monique from Wollongong, and I approve this podcast 100%. Welcome to a glorious Tuesday episode of Tony and Ryan.

My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of this ship, Tony Lodge. Vice captain? Mate, you're the captain of my heart. Oh, well, isn't that just. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of this ship, Tony Lodge. Vice captain? Mate, you're the captain of my heart. Oh, well isn't that just beautiful? That is sweet. Now, I quickly hit record because Tony and I started chatting about something. I was like, no, the people need to hear this. So, Tony, you have

been with your partner, Torbs, for... Like eight years. Eight years. And a lot of people... Oh, seven officially, but we've been doing it for eight. Oh, so thanks. Thanks for pointing of people. Seven officially, but we've been doing it for eight. Oh, so thanks for pointing that out. Everyone was just jotting down notes going, oh, I'm glad she's clarifying. It didn't match up with my time. You're welcome.

I feel like a lot of people who have been in a relationship for, I'd say after the first year or two, anytime you go on a holiday or there's a birthday or a fancy dinner, and I know I hated that with my now wife, Bridget, but anytime we went on. Yes, congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Anytime we went on holidays, there was a... Everyone's like, no! Any news? Yeah.

Any news? Oh, show me your hand. Any news? Yep. And that used to annoy me. Yeah, it is annoying. You've been with your partner for seven or eight years, and there has been some little sly comments about there not being a ring on the finger.

Well, so we've been together for a long time. I'm 27, almost 28, and Torbs is like 32. Yeah. And so we get the thing of like, oh, you guys married yet? Oh, you guys doing this yet? Yeah. But we've actually spent all that time setting up our life together and, you know, moving around for my career and, you know,

Torbs went back and studied and just finished last year. So we've actually had no money to really do any of that stuff because we love each other. We'll get married one day. It'll come. But we're busy doing our thing at the moment. Yeah, but at the moment we're, like, putting all of our money, like, investing into our life rather than being, like,

we can't really afford to have a big wedding and stuff. And we don't want to just have something that we don't really want just for the sake of being like, oh, well, good, now we're married. Can I just put a slight note in here? Please. As someone who eloped and had a very small wedding and didn't spend much money on it at all, I don't know if I'm banging on, but when you're like, oh, we're not ready for this huge life event,

it doesn't have to be a life event if you don't want it to be. If you want it to be, you would, wouldn't you? I wanted what you had. Torbs wants the big wedding. Okay, here's what we should do. Yep. You and me, we'll run away, just the two of us. Get married.

Yep. And then Bridget and Torbs can have their big wedding. Oh, did Bridget want the big wedding? Not necessarily. She would have been happy to have a big glorious day, but I think in hindsight we're like, oh, what a beautiful day we had. And you didn't go into debt over a wedding. You know, that's so common.

The money for me was like it's a one-off day. That's what I think. Yeah. So anyway, you just mentioned off air that your partner Torbs, not that we can travel at the moment in Australia because we're all locked down and whatever, but he's against overseas proposals. Is this correct? What's his beef?

So I had drinks with the girls. Yep. Had some girlfriends over and we're all chatting and being silly and Torbs is coming up and filling up our drinks and getting us more cheese and crackers and stuff. Yeah, what a legend. Like really playing the part. And he came out and was sitting with us because he'd finished work

and cracked a beer and was sitting there. One of the girls who's there is planning a wedding at the moment. That's how it came up. Right. And Torbs, my partner, he goes, you know what I don't understand? Overseas proposals. And I was like, oh, why? You know, and I kind of agree if you're going on a holiday anyway,

all good, but just to plan some big thing for just a proposal, I'm like don't spend money on that when we could either spend that on the wedding or the ring or save it towards the honeymoon or something. Couldn't agree more. Yeah, exactly. And so we were talking about it and I was like, oh, yeah, I kind of agree, but why? And he goes, oh, well, you know when you fill in that card

when you go overseas and you've got to declare whether you've got like 10 grand in cash or any goods worth more than that. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, well, it's going to be worth more than that. Is it? And I was like. How much is he on? Is it?

Excuse me? Is it going to be more than that? So I start polishing my fingernails. I'm like, here we go. We all started pissing ourselves off. And he was like, well, isn't it? And I'm like, mate, I don't think you know how much money that is that we don't have.

Please don't spend that on a ring. Hey, mate, I love you and I'd love to get married. If you put a five-figure something on me, just don't. Buy a new car. I just, 10 grand? Pay the rent for the year. But, I mean, I wouldn't say no. Oh, God, no.

Because it'd be beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah, it would be like walking around with a water bottle on my finger. Does he, especially that water bottle, it's a nice one. This Frank Green water bottle that I absolutely love. Thank you, Frank Green. Not sponsored, just good. Does Torbs have a good eye for, not even a good eye,

but would he know what you wanted in a ring? Would you try, if he goes, I've spent 10 grand on a ring and I don't want you to see it because I want to surprise you, would you be nervous about that or excited? I've actually said to him, and this is going to make me sound really vapid, but hear me out. I've actually said to him that if anybody, if someone proposed to me and it was a ring that is really not my style, I'd probably actually be like, I don't think we're ready to get married.

Just because of the ring? No, no, not because of the ring. Or is it because the fact he didn't know you enough to know what kind of ring, maybe you're not ready? Yeah, if it's something that's just so not my style, then I'd probably be like, should we actually be getting married? If you think I'm the kind of girl who wants to wear that, then I don't think you're the kind of guy I want to marry.

Absolutely. Not like that at all. But just like, hey, like maybe we need to know each other a bit better. It doesn't really feel like we're ready. I've got a question for you and the people listening to this podcast and the multiple choice. Okay. Should I write them down?

Just do. Okay. And the multiple choice. Okay. Should I write them down? Just do. Okay. Is it A, practical and a great idea, or is it B, a cop-out and you're better than that?

They're your two options. So when I proposed to Bridget a few months prior, she had this ring that she found like at a market or an op shop. It was like this old kind of fun thing that we found on a Sunday one day. A couple of dollars, she bought it and loved it and it was just a fun ring that she used to wear. A few months before I proposed, I wouldn't say stole it, but just like took it. And then when I proposed to Bridget, I proposed with that ring.

Yep. And then, you know, she said yes and it was great and we had a few drinks and a wine afterwards. And then later I was like, hey, when we find a Saturday, let's go into the city together. Yep. Let's find you a beautiful ring. We'll go out for lunch.

You know, we'll make a day of it, a bit of an event. And together we went and then chose the engagement ring. And the one, like she obviously liked the ring that she found that day and it was like a fun one that's just, I wouldn't say special, that's like too dramatic, but just like she was a placeholder. So is that A, clever, or is it a bit like, come on, mate, put some effort in? No, I think now, you know, we've moved past the traditions

of it being, you know, it needs to be three months salary and it's a big surprise and you've got to talk to your parents beforehand and all that. Like we've gone past that and I think people now are so much smarter with their money. They don't want to spend $3,000, $5,000, $10,000 on something for it to be something that the other person doesn't like. And also, for Torbs and I, all of our money is shared.

As soon as I get paid, it goes into an account. As soon as he gets paid, it goes into an account. It's all the same thing. It's not him spending. It's not his money, my money. It's our money. Like, all of our money is combined. That works for us.

It doesn't work for everyone. Final question. So I'd be, like, a bit fucked off if he spent all that money, and money. It's our money. Like all of our money is combined. That works for us. It doesn't work for everyone. Final question. So I'd be like a bit fucked off if he spent all that money and I was like, that's ugly. That's ugly and that's our money. Yeah. So if you're getting, and again, just hypothetically, a $10,000 ring because that's what Torb seems to think they were,

don't take him to the jeweler I went to. Like, oh, they're very nice. Do you have like a section that's a bit more? Maybe on the other end of the scale. Like some stuff out, like a sample. Maybe not a diamond. Cubic zirconia or something. Would he get something?

Because I know there's a bit of a trend now that if the guy doesn't want to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring that they might get like a watch because it's like, well, if you get a fancy thing, it's not like playing off one another but it's more like, hey, if we're both buying each other nice things, you get this nice ring and the guy gets a nice watch or he might get a ring or would he get anything in return? I don't know.

I've never really thought about it. Because you only think about yourself, don't you? That's true, yeah. And since he told me that it's going to be worth over $10,000. You guys don't have any money left. Yeah. I'd love to know what people think about this. A, are those days over of three-month salary, like you said,

called a panel, very formal or official, or did you do something maybe what Bridget Knighty, where it was more of a collaborative, hey, we're going to have this. And Bridget's really keen on I'd love that if our daughter liked the ring, she could use it. Yes. That kind of vibe. So she's like, let's get something that we love and can hopefully become

a family heirloom, even if it's not spenny, but it's just something that we want to get. No, but it's special. But that's the thing. It doesn't need to be expensive. Like even you'd see everywhere now like people using moissanite, which is the same chemical compound as a diamond but is ethical. Right.

So it's a lot cheaper and it sparkles even more. Like they're absolutely beautiful but there's that stigma of like, oh, you just got moist night instead of a diamond. Fuck that off. Yeah. Like if it's a beautiful piece of jewellery that you love, that your partner picked for you or you picked together, fucking rock it.

All right, let us know your thoughts on that. I'm such a good person. You are. Now you are, as well as being a great person, you are a global citizen. A citizen of the world. A citizen of the world. So it's time for Tony versus the world. Tony versus the world.

So last time. Did you like the intro that I just made up? I did. Thanks. Maybe we should like mix it up. As in like mix it, like make a beat and mix the audio. Oh, I could. That's my job.

Yeah. I can do that. Do you want to do that? Oh, my God. Sorry. I just got really scared because an electrician walked past the studio and I was like, holy shit. We've just got out of lockdown.

There's other people on this planet. There's other people around us. There's other people on this planet. Oh, my God. Are you okay? I just's other people on this planet. Oh, my God. Are you okay? I just choked on a chisel. Oh, how good. Do you know what chisels?

Oh, they might not have them. Do they have them in America? Everyone that listens to this is in fucking America, so I feel like I have to double check. Australia doesn't like us. Well, chisels, do you know that they're $2 a box? Really? And that is full of chisels.

As we were discussing earlier, they are a high-maintenance snack. A high-admin food. A high-admin food because we had 20 seconds of eating them and then like five minutes trying to get the cheese chunks out from between our teeth. And I've just got an Invisalign, so I had to like pop my Invisalign out and then pick all the food out of my teeth. Oh, sorry.

Oh, did you guys want to eat? Sorry. Yes, literally, and just all the saliva coming out of my mouth. Anyway. You're a glamour, though. Thanks. You look good. When you were doing that, I was like, oof.

Yeah, the string of saliva coming out. I was like, oh, this is doing things to me. Lucky I'm behind a desk over here because, oh, there I go. Anyway, Tony versus the world. A few weeks ago, I said, I reckon you won't get three out of ten. And I got seven. So let's go again. Let's see how you go.

People in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group, the Tarpers, are telling us where they're from and a saying that's like a local saying and then Tony tries to guess what that saying means in our language, I guess, or just makes sense of it. Yeah. Let's go first to Daniel Pasqualini from Italy. Could you have guessed he was from Italy when I said his name? If my grandpa had three balls, he would have been a pinball machine.

What does that mean? He got around. He was a bit of a ladies' man. If my grandpa had three balls, he would have been a pinball machine. That is incorrect. Oh, no. It means when someone has like an overly complicated hypothetical. You know when it's like, oh, if your auntie had a moustache,

she'd be your uncle. Have you heard that saying? No. Now I'm in the game where I'm trying to explain the saying. It's like, oh, I'd be a great marathon runner if I was like 20 kilos less and ran 50 kilometres a day and had great shoes and jeans and was running. And I was sort of like, oh, yeah, well, and if your grandpa had three balls,

he'd be a pinball machine. Oh, that's a great saying. Right? Yeah, I love that. But sorry I got it wrong. And also sorry that my explanation was horrific. I'm sorry. But the marathon runner one was good.

Okay. Do you think that we could train to do a marathon? No, absolutely not. I reckon we could. Mate, you're about to eat 500 nuggets next week. I reckon one challenge at a time. Yeah, okay. Should we do that every month?

Let's just see how we go. Okay, yeah, we might actually die next week. Actually, no, I'm up for a running challenge. What if we did like a challenge? We'll get Laura Henshaw on. They've just launched Kick app for Steph Clare Smith. Oh, yeah, Laura and Steph. Yeah, they have.

Kick run, is it? Yeah. Laura, if you're listening, don't send us the app because I'm not going to do it. Laura, if you're listening, you're not. There's no way. All right. Clara is from Pennsylvania, which we're going to in a few years to host a wedding. I've had a few messages from people saying, hey, I live in America.

Can you come and visit me as well? We're going on tour. It's like, okay, well, pay me to be at your wedding. We're going on tour. We'll go on tour. We'll do some live shows. Live shows. That sounds so fun.

And now that we're actually allowed out of the house, let alone out of the state. It feels a bit more real. Yeah, a bit more possible. I'd love to do stand-up. Could we do that in America? Well, that'll be, I assume, the live show will you be doing stand-up and me just laughing. Oh, thanks, mate. Yeah. So supportive. Yep. I'll introduce you. Well, that'll be, I assume, the live show will you be doing stand-up and me just laughing. Oh, thanks, mate.

Yeah. So supportive. I'll introduce you. You could be my emcee. I'll be your warm-up guy, your hype guy. I like that. I like that. Yeah, me too.

I mean, what am I now if I'm not your hype guy, though? You're just the butter to my bread, mate. Yeah, just gassing you up. All right, Clara from Pennsylvania. Sorry, doll. We got off track. The word jawn is used all the time, used in a sentence. Pass me the damn jawn. Everyone in Pennsylvania says jawn.

Jawn. What's that, jawn? Is it just like, is it just one of those filler words? Yeah, but there's a specific word that it's almost, now that I've seen it in a few sentences, it's almost like a direct correlation. Like crap or like smeg. You know how people say like mess?

Pass me that shit. Like pass me that thing. It means thing. Oh, yes. Correct. So, yeah, it's basically a filler word for thing. Like pass me that drink. Pass me that thing.

Oh, pass me the jawn. Yeah. Get that jawn over here. What's that jawn? Oh, I don't like that. Neither do I. Sorry, Cara. That's why I never go to Pennsylvania.

Yeah. See you soon. Kazuki Hata is from Japan. Hi, Kazuki. And she is our first ever Japanese Patreon supporter. Oh, hi, Kazuki. I love Japan. I've been twice.

Oh, in our first episode, we said a segment about things that aren't your personality. And one of them was I've been to Japan before, and it looks like Tony's. But you don't base your whole life on that. No, but I do love Japan. I love that jacket, though, and that hairstyle, and you bring it up all the time. So maybe that is your personality. This hairstyle, how I wear my hair like this every day,

on top of my head in a bun. I'm actually, oh, my God, sorry to go on another tangent, but I get to get my hair done next week. I'm happy for you. I'm so excited. Kazuki said she's pleased for you too. Thanks, Kazuki. Kazuki, okay, let me give you the-

Arigato. Toile ni ite moe desu ka? Oh, well, desu ka means like, huh? Can I? Yeah. So, toile ni ite moe desu ka? Yeah, because like genki desu ka is like how are you, I think. So that saying, because I did Japanese language in primary school,

that was the only sentence I knew and it means like, excuse me, miss, can I please go to the bathroom? And then because I asked in Japanese, the teacher would be like so impressed and she would let me leave and then I just wouldn't go back. So at the start of the class I'd be like, toilini itemo desu ka? And she's like, oh, yes. And then I'd leave and then, yeah. Oh.

The saying in Japanese, onino minomo namita, which means tears in the eyes of a demon. Onino mi nimo namita, tears in the eyes of a demon, means. What you've done is so bad that there'd be tears in the eyes of a demon. Like you've misbehaved so terribly. It's not quite correct, but it could be. When I explain, there's a bit of crossover maybe. But I'm going to put that down as a no.

Okay. Ba-bow. Sorry. Should I have had sound effects? Did we have that last time? We did that last time, but I feel like I prefer us going ba-bow. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Well, in that case, ba-bow. Aw. It means basically someone who never, ever cries like a demon, but there might be that one thing that gets them. Oh, okay. So I was thinking when you started explaining that, in Australia we have a saying called crocodile tears. Which are like fake tears.

It's like, yeah. Whereas this is like, oh, that guy, that big tough guy, he never cries. He never cries. But that one time it's like tears in the eyes of a demon. So that thing was so beautiful, tears in the eyes of a demon. Like he cried, he never cries, or she never cries, yeah. I mean, you know Minamita. Yeah.

Well, that was bad. Thank you, Kazuki. Appreciate that. Let's go to Ireland. Maya says, you up for a feek? A feek. Yep. You up for a feek?

Let's go for a pint. Let's go for a drink. Let's go for a feed. Can I kiss you? Feek me. You up for a feek? It means for a feed. Can I kiss you? Fake me. You're up for a fake. It means, hey, love, want to have a patch? When was the last time you said that?

Well, I'm not from Ireland, so never. But. You're up for a fake. Can I kiss you? Imagine. We're one from four. Tuning. Yeah, I'm not doing very well today.

I'm so sorry. Imagine tuning someone, like meeting them at a bar and then like being a bit drunk and being like, get up for a fake. I guess that is kind of cute. Like it's a bit sexy. Would you prefer that or someone going, hey, if you need a picture of the back of your head,

I can do it for you? The back of the head. We'll see. Let's get him on the show next week. Yeah, I'll text him. And his hot partner. Yeah, yeah, she is gorgeous. She would be.

Lines like that. Fuck me up. All right. I mean next week. Yeah, I'll text him. And his hot partner. Yeah, yeah, she is gorgeous. She would be. Lines like that. Fuck me up. All right. I mean, exactly. Yeah, you can chat anyone up. Jeff from Colorado. Hi, Jeff. You can put your boots in the oven, but I won't make them biscuits.

Like, you can roll a turd in glitter, but it doesn't make it good. Like, it's still just like a glitter-covered turd. You can't polish a turd. Like, um. Not the example he's used, but yes, correct. Yes. Ding! Oh, nice!

It says, you can say whatever you want about the situation, but it won't change the facts. Yes. Yeah, which I think that's what you were saying. I'm sorry that I used a different colloquial saying to explain that one. If you put your boots in the oven, I won't make them biscuits. I like that. All right, Steph is from Quebec.

In farg toy piss, Dan's lens flirted tappers. Won't pronounce that again. It means in English, don't trip on the carpet flowers. In farg toy pass, Dan's lens fur do tappers. Don't trip on the carpet flowers. Don't trip on the carpet flowers. Don't get distracted by the good stuff and forget about, like, the big picture kind of thing.

Yes. Is that right? It's not horse racing. That's not what you think. It says don't overthink the small details. Oh, it's like. You're half right. I pay it. I pay it. Yeah. Don't trip on the small details. Oh, it's like. You're half right. I pay it.

I pay it. Yeah. Don't trip on the carpet flowers, i.e. if there's a pattern of flowers, like don't trip over those things. It's not a big deal. They don't exist. Oh, like don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I actually really like that. Don't trip on the carpet flowers. Yeah. It might have been a bit more applicable when people used to have patterned carpet. Yeah. I mean, get with the times, Steph from Quebec. Yeah. I mean, maybe at my nan's house, sure.

Yeah. Flowers on the carpet. Not my place. Those carpets match the tree. Fran is from Spain. This is the most Spanish thing. All right, this is in Fran, sorry, in Spanish it's pronounced. De la veluta la tortilla.

I love that you just do your Australian accent when you read them out. You don't even attempt the. That's Italian. Yeah, that's all I've got. If it's either Australian or everything else. Combined. Which sounds Italian. How's give me Spanish?

Oh, it's like Puss in Boots from Shrek. De la Villaluta Tortilla. That's not bad, actually. You sounded just like Antonio Banderas. De la Villaluta Tortilla. To flip the omelette. To flip the omelette. To flip the omelette. And I'm guessing that it's not meant literally.

No, but it's a pretty good, when you get the answer, you'll see how it makes sense. Okay, to flip the omelette. To flip this situation, like devil's advocate, like on the other hand. Yeah. Yeah, to change the argument, to do a 180, Devil's Advocate, like, on the other hand. Yeah. Yeah, to change the argument, to do a 180,

to look from the other point of view. Yeah, like Devil's Advocate. Yeah, I like that too. It's made me a bit hungry. We haven't eaten anything today except for those cheeses. But they're a high admin food. Yeah, they are a high admin food. Erica Doy is from Scotland.

Your bum's out the window. Your bum's out the window. Your bum's out a windy. Ye bums out the window. Ye bums oot windy. Ye bums out the window. Ba-bam. Now, is there an actual translation? It's in English, mate. No, it's not, though, because Scotty English is in English.

Well, she hasn't provided the translation. I think if I was to translate ye boots oot a windy, it would be ye bums are kind of windy. Three sheets to the wind, like you're drunk. It means you are lying or over-exaggerating. Oh. Oh, your boots out the windy. Oh, yeah, like.

Your ass is out the window, mate. Yeah, like you're hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine that in conversation, but I imagine that it's a good thing to say. Well, imagine someone's telling you this big wild story and you just, like, they put mayo on it. You boot out the window.

Oh, put mayo on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, a bit of mayo on that. Yeah. They're oversold. Oh, boot out the window. Oh, yeah. Boot out the windy.

Your bum's out the windy. Yeah. All right, second last one. We've got three so far. I'm so sorry. Sarah Jane in Sweden. I'm so sorry. This is from Sarah Jane in Sweden. Hi, Sarah Jane.

Sitta med saggata brevian. And also can I say when I talk about my saggat being brevian, I got a lot of message from some Swedish people saying when you just made up some bullshit Swedish thing, the other word, I actually accidentally nailed it because they were like, oh, you were clearly just reading and guessing but you actually said it perfectly. Oh, good job. I obviously haven't done that again now when I say,

sit the man to sag the brevian, but it means sit with one's beard in the mailbox. Sit with one's beard in the mailbox. So if we were having a conversation. What about your thumb? Is it like your thumbs up your ass Like you're just sitting with your beard in the mailbox Like the world's moving past you mate

You've got to like get up and do something I thought I nailed that one Well if anyone's nailing anything it's me with the sound effects Yeah they are It means like you've been caught red handed Oh your beard's in the mailbox mate Can't get, they are. It means like you've been caught red-handed. Oh, your beard's in the mailbox, mate. Can't get away with this one.

Yeah. Oh, you say you weren't there, mate. Your beard's in the mailbox. Like you're there. It's proof. Your beard's been in my mailbox. Sorry. Look out. The postal service has arrived.

No wonder Australia Post is so delayed. The beards are in Kentucky. All right. Final one. We're three from nine. This is beards are in Kentucky. All right, final one. We're three from nine. This is from Raphael in France. Pasque pic des hanatos. It means not bitten by cock shafers. That's the translation?

Sorry? Not bitten by cock shafers is pasque pic des hanatons. There's Hanatons. Like, is it a bit like, don't, I won't be taken advantage of. Is that a statement or is that your answer? Yeah. I said, yeah, you gave me two options. Oh, you're about to go bow, bow, bow.

Okay, let me think of something else. Let me think of something else that's not my answer. I'm unlocking, unlocking in. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. This is not my answer. I'm unlocking. I'm locking in. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Bow, bow, bow, bow. Oh, Raphael, I'm so sorry. I did a bad job this week. Three out of ten.

It means a delicious meal because cock chafers in France are a bad bug that are annoying and sometimes they get into food and make things off. So if the cock chafers make something bad, then when you eat something good you're like, oh, well this hasn't been bitten by cock chafers. Oh, I love that. Yeah. That is such a great saying. It really is, isn't it?

Yeah. These chisels haven't been bitten by cock chafers. Mate, they're great. There's no cock chaffer in those. Not a cock inside. No. There's a cock inside you later, though. Oh, put your beard in me mailbox.

All right, coming up next. Well, I think we just said, didn't we? Things you can say in the car. And in the bedroom. The boudoir. The boudoir. All right, that's up next on the Tony and Ryan podcast. Why am I back announcing like I'm a radio host all of a sudden? I found it a bit sexy, actually, the way that you just did All right, that's up next on the Tony and Ryan podcast. Why am I back announcing like I'm a radio host all of a sudden?

I found it a bit sexy actually the way that you used to do that. And that's up next on the podcast. On the Tony and Ryan podcast. It's 8.24. It's not. If you're listening at 8. It's 1.36. If you're listening at 8.24.

Text us. What are the chances? One in how many minutes in a day? I don't care about this anymore. 86, 400 seconds in a day. Divided by 60 equals? Duh! Hi, it's Monique from Wollongong,

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. All right, all right, all right. I've got a couple of champion tapas to give a bit of a shout-out to. Here we go. The Big Deal. The Big Deal's in. Big Deal, she's first up. Jade, is that her?

Jade Dillingham. The Big Deal. The Big Deal, thank you so much. Sorry to interrupt your impersonation of, are you hosting a carnival circus type event? Yeah, roll up, roll up. Get your popcorn here. Yeah, I like it. You don't like it? No, I'm for it. Eka, thank you so much.

Brie Cosleridge, good on ya, mate. Chris Tapuola, AJ Facciolo, Ashley Faircloth, Lisa Goovia. I sound like I'm commentating a horse racing. Were we talking about about horse racing before? Oh, yeah, because you went da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm going to change tact here.

Okay. Because I feel like maybe that's not what people want to hear on the podcast. Like me going, Robin Parmenter, Maximilian Linker. Maximilian Linker. We talked about the big link last week. And I love Maximilian as a name. Yeah.

My ADS, Amy, Cade McLogan, Patrick Loftus, Nikki Ligon, Paloma Alassaf, thank you so much, Benji Brown, the big BB, Browno. The big BB. Rodney Stickles-Palmer, Talia Reyes, Claire Vale, Annika, Rachel Evans, Sean Van Gorder, Martin, Heather Shelley, Kimberley Majors and Kimberley Minors. Yay, yay, yay. And Ali Duckett. Thank you so much, doll.

Thanks, Duckett. We absolutely love to see it. They are champion tapas. Everyone listed has either received a personalized video from Tony and I or will receive. We are going through them at the moment. Giving and receiving. It is also the last week that you can become a Patreon and contribute a nugget to what will be our nuggety death

for every one person that becomes a patron in October. We will eat one nugget in one sitting. I'm thinking about the nuggets and forgetting how to talk. Yeah, and we're currently at 542. That's a lot of nuggets to eat. Yes. On the exclusive episode for the patrons this week, we will be discussing how the F we're actually going to do that.

So we'll figure that out soon. We need some nugget strategy. Just quickly, tomorrow on the show, grooming mishaps. And I feel like if there's one thing, even though it's not spoken about all the time and maybe publicly, if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that humans have more hair than they want. Often, yeah. Or just the human body was created with more hair than required.

Yeah. So everyone tries to remove some or all hair. And if you think you've waxed yourself a bit much and it hurt a bit or something happened. Waxed yourself a bit much. No, as in like cut yourself once or something. Yeah. Trust me, it's not the worst. And you're not alone.

You are not alone. That is tomorrow. Today, though, and I'm nervous about this, things you can say in the car and also in the bedroom. Things you can say while riding in the car and getting ridden in the bedroom. I was going to say let's get started, but it seems we already have. Oh, I really need the bathroom.

Oh, hey, mate. Sorry, I can't chat. I'm about to head into a tunnel. Fuck me right up. That is very funny, mate. That's very funny. How long's this gonna take?

I've never heard that. Short trips. I thought this was a day trip. No, no. Have you got a licence to drive that thing? Do you mind backing into that parking spot? Ooh, who's ready to burn some rubber?

Oh! Like a condom. Smoke coming off it because it just... Smoke in the tyres. Sorry. Mate, I am running on empty. Fuel. And semen.

Oh. No? Emptied your pump. Your bowser. Hook. I think I might trade this in for a newer model. Few miles on the old clock. Sure, she's old and used, but she gets the job done.

Oh, my God, I've almost hit someone. When was the last time you oiled the old girl up? Did you want me to put this in the trunk? Yes. Did you want me to put this in the trunk? Whoa. Sorry. Don't aim those at me.

Oh, thank you. More where that came from. And I'm not shooting blanks. Are we there yet? Yeah. Are we there yet? This bloke is just really riding my arse. That one was a bit sexy.

You're welcome. Yeah, thanks. Sorry, I've only got a two-door. I do not have a three-door. Nah, just kidding. Why not? Room for everyone. Tomorrow when we talk about grooming mishaps, someone ripped a whole chunk out of their person and she says,

and I quote, I had an extra hole for a few months. Oh, my God. No. No, thank you. It's a bit of a tight squeeze, but I reckon I'll get in that gap. Mate, you've never had that problem in your life. I've never found a gap I couldn't fit into. You only drive a Golf, mate.

I reckon that's okay. I was talking about my micro dick, but sure. Oh, you hear that kitty purr? What? What's a kitty? Like, you hear that kitty purr? Like... Oh.

But, like, kitty, like, the engine, like, it's purring away. Yeah, no. That kitty-like vagina. Yeah. So, kitty purr just sounds like an air freshener brand. Oh, that's ambi-purr. My mistake. Would you like me to redo it?

Here's the ambi-purr. Oh, yeah, nice. I mean, they both need an airing out. Yeah, but don't worry, mate, I can drive a stick. So you know how where we live in Richmond there's a lot of like small streets and like sometimes they're like one way or you have to like let the other car come through before you go and whatever.

So if you're being nice to someone, do you give them the one finger or the whole hand? I actually go two fingers. Do you? Yeah, I do. It's a nice touch. Yeah. Why is that?

I just think it's nice. Like, oh, yeah, cheers. But it's not over-eager. It's not the whole hand. Yeah. You can't go the whole hand. Like one's not enough and the whole hand is too much? Too much, yeah.

Tell me that. There goes my social life. Or hand is too much? Too much, yeah. Tell me that. There goes my social life. We've been going all day. Hey, strap in.

It's time. Be safe. For safety's sake, I'm going to have to ask you to keep two hands on it. Oh, watch out for that bird. Something terrible happened. I wasn't paying attention and I slammed up the back of her. You need that insurance. Every week, Tony is going to make an insurance joke.

They're always good. They are, though. That's the thing. They're always on point. They always make sense. Have a look at this one. Fits two in the front and five in the back. Minivan. Minivag.

People mover. A high-ace van. Imagine that was my nickname. Like, oh, look, here comes the people move. Why do they call her that? Oh, she fits two in the front and five in the back. It's a good on fuel, though. I'm looking at getting one myself.

I was about to do a hand gesture that I didn't need to do. Were you? Yeah. What was it? No. Okay. It's not important. All right.

It's not important. All right. It's not important. So I think we can all agree after hearing these, we now know why I don't own a car anymore. You just use your wife's car. Why do I need my own car? I've got Bridges. Don't worry, my boyfriend can't even drive. That's funny because it's true.

I've got a you love to see it that is kind of car related. You picked me up for work this morning, like we came together. Yep. Yeah, we do. There's another this morning, like we came together. Yep. Yeah, we do. There's another one. Yeah, we came together, yeah. And how amazing was it seeing people eating in cafes, lining up for coffee and getting to sit down and have breakfast?

Because we've been shut for so long. Just seeing bustling cafes. And the business owners must be so long. Just seeing bustling cafes and out. And the business owners must be so happy. Like, there is not a free booking in Melbourne this weekend. I actually said to a guy that owns a cafe, because I went to go to takeaway coffee, and there were people in there having breakfast. Yeah.

And I said, it's great to see people in here. Yeah, you love to see it. And he looked at me and he goes, don't even say it. I could cry. And I was like, oh. Yeah, you love to see it. And he looked at me and he goes, don't even say it. I could cry. And I was like, oh. Oh my God. That's so lovely. It is lovely and it is great. You love to see it. You actually love to see it. Now, I don't know the exact details of this news story, but I saw something this week and I went,

oh, I love to see that. Okay. An intern at NASA. Sure. Like actual NASA. Yeah. On their third day of their internship, discovered a planet or like a thing or something in outer space. And I just thought, could you imagine the cranky old bastards that have been working there for 25 years and some young kid comes in and goes. Oi, what's that over there? What's that spot? That's a new planet.

We'll name that after you, mate. Good job on the internship. Oh, my God. Okay. If you found a planet, what's that over there? Is that a, what's that spot? That's a new planet. We'll name that after you, mate. Good job on the internship. Oh my God. Okay, if you found a planet, what would you call it? Mercury. I was going to call it Tony. Oh.

Because I would love to orbit around her for the rest of my life. Mate, I'm not married. So yeah, it's fine. Mercury. Mercury. Mercury. Mercury. But. Yeah.

Mercury. But I just thought, considering the internships I've done where it's like, oh, welcome to the business, can you just print that stuff and file it? And get us coffee and fucking, yeah. And the fact that he's doing it, I was like. You'll have to see it. I'll have to see that. Interns getting around it.

Yep. If they don't get a full-time job out of that internship. Yes. And also just like showing up those old bloody dodgers that, oh, that would have been so fucked up. Yes. And especially like, oh, this like astronomy, it's pretty easy, right? You just sort of turn up, you discover planets.

Yeah, find a planet. Yeah, there it is. Like better head off at three o'clock, I've got a doctor's appointment. Yeah. I'm a millennial, I don't work past five. Yeah, early day. It's craft beer night at a brewery. Yeah, whatever.

I'm an astronaut now, I think. That's what happens. Literally. Yeah. And also imagine working at NASA. What's that like? It's ay at night at a brewery. Yeah, whatever. I'm an astronaut now, I think. That's what happens. Literally. Yeah. And also, imagine working at NASA. What's that like? It's a flex. That's what that is.

Yeah. You're picking up bitches, that's for sure. All right. Thank you so much for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Depending on what app you're listening to, if you hit follow or subscribe or leave a review, that really helps us out. And don't forget, this Thursday, a Halloween special. Halloween!

Wake. Chat to you later. Love you. Bye.