Toni and Ryan - Welcome Toni's Sister

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

My sister, my poon, and my jokes on a plane. LOVE YOU!!! [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I am the vice captain of the ship, our captain, Lord Saviour, Doctor, Author, Muscles, Tony Lodge. Thank you. You're welcome. I wasn't supposed to sound like a horse then. It was supposed to be like a bashful laugh, but instead I sounded like a horse. Yeah, it did sound a bit horsey. We're calling Stephanie, who she's a- Stephanie!

She's in Sydney. Sydney. Sydney. Sydney. Tony and I. Yeah, how are you? Hi. How are you?

I'm good, sorry. I'm in a car and it's coming up. How are you guys going? Are you currently going over the bridge? The Sydney Harbour Bridge I wish, no Unfortunately not I couldn't afford it, isn't it like $9?

Is there a toll on the bridge? Isn't there a toll on the Sydney Harbour Bridge? I think it's like $20 round trip It's ridiculous $20? I thought it's like $20 round trip. It's ridiculous. Oh, my God. $20? I thought I assumed that like.

I live like right out. Okay. Yeah. Well, it's cheap. Saving money. Well, I mean, to live near the Sydney Harbour Bridge, you would literally need to earn a million dollars a year. Yeah, that is true.

So Tony's got two places there. Yeah, I live by there. Yeah, all good though. So it cost me $40 if I got to drive to both houses. But Steph, will you approve today's podcast? Damn straight I will. Yeah. Hey, it's Steph from Sydney and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, is it too much? Actually, we're friends, right? Don't.

And you know. Best friends. You know. Best friends. Well, you know that I'll back you up, eh? Are we best friends? Seriously, though, jokes aside, you know, like, I've got your back. If you say that we're best friends, then yeah, I know that. Is it too much to suggest that you tried to commit an act of terror on a plane?

Don't! Because I don't know if I want to hitch my wagon to that, hitch my cart to that wagon with a best friend title if you're going to get done for terrorism, you know what I'm saying? Everywhere that your name is written, mine's written before it. I don't think that whether we're best friends or not, I think you're going down as well.

Well, don't say going down when making jokes about. That's true. That's aggressive. No, no jokes obviously obviously, about this. And I actually said to Tony on a plane, I think what you just did was close to terrorism. Tony's like, don't say the T word when we're on the plane. This is not good areas.

It's not good areas. It's not good areas. We can't. It's not good areas, but we'll get to that soon. And today's the last show of the T-Roy podcast, so thanks for coming along for the ride. It's been fantastic. It is Friday the 13th, so spooky.

Oh, yeah. And actually, yeah, we've got some fun Friday the 13th that I'll tell you about later as well. But first, this time last week I was saying that the weekend looks different to a weekday. Completely agree. And I backed you. Thank you.

To the hilt a million percent. Yep, and that's why I love you because you back a friendday. Completely agree. And I backed you. Thank you. To the hilt, a million percent. Yep, and that's why I love you because you back a friend and you support them when it's not terrorist related. A best friend. And I think people went into the weekend with those kind of like, that kind of mindset like, yeah, I'm going to have a look around at the weekend and see if I can see the difference. Now I know that this is not true, but then I'd fucking,

it just is though. I actually disagree. The amount of people that agreed plus me, I don't, I think that it is true. Yeah, and I was just going to say that I felt the love and everyone goes, no, I saw it. I've seen it. But everybody, but everyone was on our side for the first time

maybe ever. Yeah, we're all on the same team. There's a few other things coming from Tarpers. That's Tony and Ryan podcast. In the category of I know this is wrong, but I just feel like it's correct. Fernando. Can you hear the drums, Fernando?

Lowering the volume of the stereo in the car helps you see better. See, I knew what you were going to say before you even finished because it's true. How is that true? How is vision impacted by ears? Because you've got your senses, right? Yeah. And if one of them is being overwhelmed,

then it's harder to concentrate. You know when, like, someone's yelling in the background and you're, like, trying to concentrate on something? It's because if you're being overwhelmed or like overstimulated in some part of your brain then the other parts like don't have as much energy so when we're in the car park and mum goes oh i'm turning this the radio down because i need to find a park i'm like but turning the radio down doesn't make parks appear no but it helps you concentrate it's the same when you're like driving down like to someone's house and it's going like three, five, seven, nine, and you go,

oh, I'll just turn it down just so that I can hear, just so that I can like find the number. Yeah, I think it's a legit thing and it does actually help because I get really overwhelmed when there's lots of noise and like if I'm trying to work, I can't work with noise around and stuff. And so I reckon that it's legit a whole thing. Because if you've got fucking Lady Gaga pumping, way harder to find a car park. Yeah.

It just is. Do you agree? Do you do it? No. But sometimes I think the music can be almost like subconscious especially because when you i don't know if it's because i drive an auto as well like you can just be singing along not even noticing that you're singing out loud whilst thinking about something else looking for something else like i think i said especially in the auto and i get up early in the morning, I'll just arrive at work and have no idea how I got here. I reckon. Yeah, dangerous.

I reckon, though, you can obviously be concentrating and driving safely and listening to music and stuff. Obviously, that goes without saying if you're paying attention. But I reckon that the looking for, I've never done it looking for a car park, but I've done it looking for a house number before. Yeah. Or if I'm, like, trying to concentrate on the GPS, I'm like, oh, if I just eliminate one more thing, maybe it'll just help me, like, I can really focus on that.

Yeah. Whereas I'm half focusing on, like, nine things and then I kind of go, all right, I've got to hone in right now. So actually now I think about it, Bridget's really good, my wife Bridget, asking a really complicated question when it's like I'm trying to figure something else out. Yeah, there's like something else going on. You're just trying to squeeze into a tight park.

She goes, so without tax because we paid the $200 thing and then can we take that off and then is there an interest rate attached to that? And I just go, what? Yeah, and it's kind of the same thing where you just go, oh, hang on, like one thing at a time. Yeah. This one I actually disagree with, venomously.

Did I say that right? Venomously? Vehemently? I don't know what I'm trying to say. Well, I said vehemently once and everyone yelled at me because they were like, it's vehemently. It's vehemently. Well, yeah, but then everyone was like, it's vehemently once and everyone yelled at me because they were like, it's vehemently. It's vehemently. Well, yeah.

But then everyone was like, it's vehemently, like on the internet. And I was like, oh, okay. We have an accent deal with it. Well, no. I back you. Tony's right. It would be the pronunciation, but I don't really know. So I just avoid the word at all costs now.

I know this is wrong, but I think everyone will agree that it's correct. Simo says the food tastes better when someone else cooks it. It can be the same recipe, the exact same ingredients, same methods, but it always tastes better when someone else does it. Even a cup of tea. Do you know what I was about to say? Toast. Yeah?

If someone makes you a piece of toast, it's just like, fuck, that's a good piece of toast. Whereas when you do it, it's just bread. I think the cup, when he goes even a cup of tea, that's just like, fuck, that's a good piece of toast. Whereas when you do it, it's just bread. I think the cup, when he goes even a cup of tea, that's throwing me a little bit because sometimes you can tell when someone else has done it. Oh, and they don't really do it the way that you like it. Yeah.

Because I like my tea, like black tea, I like it really, really strong. Yeah. And producer Cam the other day, he made us a pot of tea that was fucking croquettes. Yeah. Yeah, and that wasn't great. But. It was green tea. The love in it, though, does us a pot of tea that was fucking croquettes yeah yeah that wasn't great but it was green tea the love in it though does make a bit of difference because you go oh someone's gone to

the effort for this but like i make my spaghetti bolognese the exact same way that my mum did and it's not the same no is it a skill thing or it's just because she cooked it just she just did it and i guess like there's probably an element of like, add a little bit more of this or a little bit, you know, get it tasting right. Whereas I go, well, no, she said this amount. And I have changed it now. But the first few years after she died I was like, this is exactly how she made it.

It doesn't taste the same. So I reckon there is a thing. Yeah. There's a few things my sister cooks that are like that too. That are just not quite the same. She makes this fucking mean mastermind chicken, like with a whole chook. Whoa. Guys, honestly, she's going to be listening to this right now.

Can we come around? She'll be listening to this right now and she'll go, I'll make everyone a mastermind chicken. I'll call her right now and she would go, yep, we'll make you a fucking mastermind chicken. I'll get her on the phone. She'll love this. I hope she answers.

Libby? Libby, yeah. Can I ask? Just hang on. I'm going to tell her that she might not answer. Hey, how you doing? Hey, Libby. I'm good.

Sorry. Are you busy right now? No. Well, you're on the podcast. Welcome to the show. Hello. See, she's very excited. Hang on.

No, just hang on. Hang on. Sorry to interrupt today, mate. No, no, no. We just need to ask very quickly if you wouldn't mind if the boys came around and you did a big Massaman chicken. Sorry. Yeah, for sure.

The chicken with the veggies. Yeah, the big chicken thing. Yeah, I haven't made that for ages. Tony just said you make it all the time. No, it's always the thing that she makes when I go around to her place. I do, yeah. Is that the roast you want me to do for the weekend? No, no, no.

Actually, for the weekend I'd like a pork if that's okay. Is this a family member or are you surfing? Supplacing orders ahead of time. It's a big curry night. Yeah, so, yeah, we're going to come. What night's curry night? What night's curry night? Don't say Tuesday because I'll have to say the line.

Because you'll have to say what? What's the line if Tuesday's a curry night? What night is curry night? Oh, um, I feel like mussel and chicken tonight. Mussel and chicken. She's doing the song. Chicken Muslim and chicken tonight. Muslim and chicken. She's doing the song, chicken tonight. Chicken tonight. All right, Lou, I better let you go.

Leave the company to your sister, I reckon. Thanks, Lou. See you soon. I've been waiting for this. I love it. No, and you're on a video show as well, so you really fucked it up. No, love you. Love you.

It would be better if you could see the video of me because I'm wrapped up in a blanket. I'm working. I'm doing stuff. But anyway. What do you do for work? I'm a sufferer. Okay.

Thanks for the edit notes. Curry night next Tuesday. All right. Love you. Love you. Bye. We're never calling her again. What a disaster.

She's going to be so gutted with that. Some of the lodges can cook and some of them are really funny and they're not the same person. There's no problem with that. The Venn diagrams do not touch. That's what it means. Finally, Jamie said, I know it's- Oh, my brother, he's chimed in as well.

Non-relative of Tony, Jamie has chimed in and said, I know it's- Oh, my brother, he's chimed in as well. He's chimed in. Non-relative of Tony, Jamie has chimed in and said, I know that these are true, but I just don't think it's true. Pineapples. I agree with that. Where the fuck have they come from? Well, did you know? Hang on. Where do you think they come from, actually?

Nepean. Yapoon. I was close. I was so close. A beautiful Yap paint pineapple I read like where the wheels come off Tony's chair. The wheels have come off. The wheels are off. Point out the center. The wheels are off.

I think you've broken multiple wheels with that chair. Oh, my God. It's like it cracked off and, like, hit the wall. But you know in a movie when, like, the wheel will, like, come off the car and just, like. I'm on a tilt. I'm on a tilt. I'm on a tilt. All right. It's a really good point.

What was the question? Where do you think pineapples come from? Your poon. No, like, where? What does that mean? Like, how are they created? Oh, like the cross-pollination. No, it's been like... No, been like coconuts are up in a tree.

Oh, a plant. It's like a plant and then you cut the bottom off and it's like a big bush. So Jamie said, in my mind, they're like coconuts. They grow up in a tree. Yeah. And he's like, no, they grow from the ground. He goes, I know it's true because of biology, but like that's just not true in a tree. Yeah. And he's like, no, they grow from the ground. He goes, I know it's true because of biology, but that's just not true in my mind.

See, no, I've gotten caught up in where they come from, location, but also where they come from. Well, someone's been to your poon. I'll go to your poon tonight. Everyone's been to my poon. We'll have the curry and then we'll – No, I'm not going to go to your poon after the curry. That's a bit of cheer.

I'm still holding a wheel. Hey, it's Steph from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Brandon Richter. This is off the Richter, that's for sure. Emily Soma. Oh, there's so much going on.

Justin Barkley. Just in case you need a new chair, well, I'll fuck this one up. Nancy McLaren. Oh, yeah, do need some new chair, well, I'll fuck this one up. Nancy McLaren. Oh, yeah, do need some new tyres on the back. And Jess Batty. Don't have one. Jess... Oh, I am a bit batty because I broke the chair. Yeah, you're a bit batty.

I'm battying above my average. Today, in Patreon for our exclusive and champion tapas. I don't want to spoil anything. Sorry, can I cough? Leave that in. In Patreon today for our exclusive and champion tapas, there is a Freaky Friday edition. Freaky.

Jamie Lee Curtis has joined the podcast. Yep, she's in. Lindsay Lohan. Also in. Yep, she's in. Lindsay Lohan. Also in. Yep. Everyone's there. The guy from NCIS. He's in that movie.

Fuck. Yeah. Is he? Oh, no, that guy. Yeah. The grey-haired guy. Isn't he, like, no good anymore? Oh, is he?

Has he been cancelled? Oh, has he? Oh, fuck. Oh, well, then he's not part of it. No, he's out. No, there's a bit of a fight. Freaky Friday edition for Champion and Exclusive Tapas. And for Champion Tapas tonight, we're doing a fun movie,

a spooky movie where we all watch along together and we can chat on the side. It's going to be really fun. Tell a party? Movie party? Tell a party. Tell a party? Yeah.

But being a Friday, if you're travelling this weekend, I hope for your sake it's not with Tony Lodge because this time last week I witnessed Tony Lodge start a fight with a pilot midair. No. There was a ruckus. No. And I looked up and there's Tony and the pilot having words. Look me in the eye.

Did you have words with the pilot? Was there words exchanged with you and a pilot? I did speak to a pilot while we were on a plane in the air. Interesting. Don't you think that have better things to do with their time, like drive the plane? There's two of them in the fucking thing, in the cockpit. Is there?

And did you know that? Did you know that? fucking thing in the cockpit. Is there? And did you know that? Newton. Producer Cam. Welcome to the party. Yeah.

So this is what happens. I wake up on a plane and Tony's not. You were drunk. I look at Tony's seat and it's empty and I look up and there's a ruckus, there's a noise and there's the pilot and all I hear is the pilot holding the door to the cockpit going, no, there's someone else in there. No, that is not. And I was like, what is Tony doing?

And it kind of looked like you guys were trying to have a fight about who could go to the toilet first. Okay, no. Is anything I've said wrong? No, nothing that you've said is wrong. Thank you. It's been painted in a way that is not very favourable to me. No, no.

Now I've been told off air not to use the T word. Fucking hell, mate. Anyway, so. But it felt weird. No. So what happened was I really need to go to the bathroom and I actually make it a point when I'm on the plane to not need the bathroom. Like I go before I get on the plane.

I can normally hold it unless it's like a crazy fly. Yeah. But I can generally hold it because it makes me really – going to the toilet on the plane makes me really anxious. I don't like how tight the thing is. They're so small. I hate the noise it makes when you flush. It makes me feel physically – like I really –

there's not a lot of things that I can't do, like I can't get past, but going to the toilet on the plane just like freaks me out. When we go Melbourne to Dallas, 16 hours. I'm going to have to be able to go. The other thing is is that a toilet on a plane is not good for people with thick thighs. It's really not.

Like you actually can't like – Get a good one out. No, it's that you can't like, there's no room to move. Not that you need to move, but you know what I mean? You need to be able to like sit down and kind of like wipe yourself and like shift around. And then when you stand back up, you've got to like wriggle yourself back in and like it just, the whole thing I find incredibly upsetting,

go to the bathroom on the plane. So you decided to punch up with a pilot and said, I need a peek and you land this thing right now so i can go so there had been like a bit of a line to the toilet for like there'd been kind of like five people that had gone up and down in a row and i tried to like you know how there's that little light that has the x on it so someone's in there you don't even bother getting up yet. I waited until all these people had like gotten up and gone and then it was finally empty and I went, I'm going to shoot my shot and I get up. I'm going to go to the toilet.

Sorry, I was talking about shooting on the plane. Remind me of what I've accused you of. Is that the terminology you want to use? I'm going to give this a crack and then as i'm getting up someone has joined the line who was like closest to the toilet yeah but i'd already like climbed over your corpse from being drunk so i was like i'd already climbed over you and i was kind of already standing in the aisle and i was like i'm gonna look like a fucking idiot if i go back to my seat.

I'm just going to have to stand here. This person is just going to be doing a wee, like how long is it going to take? They walk into the toilet. I'm still standing in the lane, like the... The aisle. The aisle, thank you. The lane.

It's a fucking bowling alley. I have a steak. Anyway, and as I'm standing like in the alley, what is it? Aisle. Aisle. You're rattled, aren't you? She's rattled. I am.

The pilot walks out of the cockpit. And this is when the violence starts. No, no, no. And he starts chatting with all of the air hostesses that are in the galley, like in the food area. Is it like a stereotype? Because when you say the pilot walked out and chatted to the air hostess, I'm imagining he walks out and goes, hey, ladies, here you go.

And they go. And that is kind of what it looked like was happening. But it was more like in a, oh, did you talk to Michelle? She's so hungover today. And they go, yeah, can't believe she didn't stay home. Kind of like, you know, when you. Just be careful what you're accusing the great people of. No, no, no. International be careful what you're accusing the great people of. No, no, no.

International Airways, Proprietary Limited. No. I'm saying, you know, when you would go to Coles and you would be, like, chatting about- Yeah. But you're kind of talking about other people that you work with. They obviously all work with the similar crews all the time. I'm using Michelle being hungover as an example of, like,

that's chat, small talk, and he goes, oh, did you see the bloody food trolley got jammed in the thing? And they go, oh, my God, that happened to me last week. Fucking whatever. They're like normal small talk chat for work colleagues. Sure. You sound offensive. And I'm like too far away from the conversation to be part

of the conversation, but I'm too close to like not hear what they're kind of chatting about. So did you go, okay, I've got to bring my own food trolley gear to the table? I'm like, all right, when was the last time I, you know, poured coffee on someone on a plane? Like, you know, like what can I do? Anyway, and then they're all kind of chatting and this person

that's in the toilet before me, they're not weeing. It's like they've been in there for a while and I'm standing there in the way because I'm like I'd already committed to standing up. So there is the pilot, there's like three air hostesses, the person in the toilet and just me fucking like a big old lump of shit just floating in the plane basically. So when do the threats and the violence start? So then the person who's in the toilet finally emerges and the pilot has obviously come out of the cockpit

so that he can go to the bathroom. And you said, not on my watch, mate. This is my plane. No, and I said, oh, like he goes, oh, after you, to me. Like you go first. That's not what i heard that's not what it looked like from where i was sitting okay well you're wrong because i'm telling you what happened he said after you and i said oh no no like you were you were here first which he was um and he goes no no you're right because he he's like, I'm chatting to my friends anyway. And I was like, oh, you're a lot more important than I am.

And it brings the house down. Everyone's laughing. You mean the plane down? Shut up. So the pilot's laughing. The girls are laughing. It was just like, and I was like, oh, you're a lot more important than I am. I don't mind waiting.

And he goes, no, no, like, oh, you're a lot more important than I am. Like, I don't mind waiting. And he goes, no, no, no, mate. Like, you're right. Was it self-deprecating to you because obviously you are more important than him because you're Tony Lodge from Spotify? I was one of his passengers. We're all as important as the other. And then one of the other flight attendants says, you know, there's another guy in there. Like, as in like doing gear. She's like, no, there's another guy in there, like as in like doing gear. She's like, no, there's another guy in there.

Don't worry about it. Like, oh, one's enough kind of thing. And we're all like laughing and chatting. Anyway, I go to the bathroom really, really quick, like literally just into where I jumped straight back out. And then I go back to my chair. You're sitting there. And I was like, oh, did you see me bring the house down?

And Ryan goes, oh, it didn't look great, like from where I was sitting kind of thing. It really didn't. And then I know that Ryan wasn't expecting me to bring this part up, but then he goes, well, I'm going to go to the toilet. And he goes up there and all the hostages are still chatting and I could tell that he tried to drop a bit of gear on them and they didn't laugh. No, no, no.

He walked up. No, I didn't. He walked up. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. I was like, oh, fuck didn't. He walked. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. I was like, oh, fuck this channel even more. He walks up to the- I've got to chat to ADP out to do airline jokes.

So he goes up to the galley and I see him like, so the toilet is like right ahead and then one of the flight attendants standing on the left-hand side and instead of him just walking straight forward, he walks to the left and he starts chatting to this girl. No. No laughs. No. Not a single laugh.

Fake news. Fake news. Never been less laughs in the world. I laughed more at my mum's fucking funeral than anyone laughed when Ryan tried to do some gear on the fucking flight attendant. And then he comes back to his chair and he goes, oh, good, mate. I went, yeah.

And I was such a good friend that I didn't even take the piss out of him until now because you're accusing me of something horrible. All right, now there is some truth to Tony's story. Thank you. And there are some falsities and I would just like to draw the line. Okay. It is true that when Tony came back after bringing the house down. You were jealous.

I said, oh, I can't have you getting all the laughs. I did say that. I did say that. But that was the gag. There was no more gags down the other end. So what did you talk to her about? Because you did talk to her. Can I be honest with you?

Did you ask for another ice cream or something? That's what I would ask for. So she was the, because you know how some of them were Kiwi? Yeah. There must have been like there's the Kiwis that do like the Melbourne, Auckland route and that's their kind of – Oh, sure, yeah. And I think I mentioned to you she was the same flight attendant

that when I went over a few weeks earlier. When I had COVID and you went – Yeah, I went with Bridget and Mabel. And obviously they have thousands of customers all the time so they wouldn't remember everyone. But because I had a baby, we got the special treatment and they were really helpful or whatever. So last time I got on and I was like, this is my wife and my baby.

And then I get on and when I got on the plane she's like, oh, you're back again? And I was like, yep. And then she goes, oh, he's with another lady. A woman of the night. That's me. But like so seriously because when I saw her she was almost like, where's the baby? Sure.

And she's like, well, that's not funny, is it? And so when I went up there, I went, oh, by the way, I work with her. It's like not my side. I can let people know that there's nothing going on. No, because her look in her eyes was like, oh, so you've come over with the wife and kid last time and now you're bringing the sign over. That's pretty funny. You're bringing the sign over. That's pretty funny.

You're bringing the sign over. That's pretty funny. Yeah. But there were no laughs. There were no laughs. I wasn't doing comedy. Not a single laugh. I wasn't doing comedy.

Well, there wasn't a laugh. Well, there's nothing funny about adultery and cheating on your family. You're telling the story, mate. All I'm saying is I brought the house down and you're really jealous. Stop saying bring things down when you're in a plane. I'm not on a plane right now. I said it looked like a commotion, Tony. It looked like terrorism.

And then Tony said, don't say the T word when we're on the plane. Well, which is fair, I think. Yeah. Obviously. But anyway. And stop distracting the pilots. They've got a job to do. I didn't distract.

Let them pee and let them get back to the seat. I tried to. I tried to let him go ahead of me. I tried to do my civic duty and create a good environment for that person to go to the bathroom before me. And he said, no, no, you're right. And he was fucking, I mean. Do you reckon he was sleazy and on to him?

No, no, no, no. They honestly, like I said, genuinely it was like work friend chat. That's what it's like in passenger flight 81, but then like it turns out he was doing it. I don't know what that is. It's Denzel Washington. Oh, great. And he's drunk when he's flying the planes.

Oh, is that that one where- Oh, it's called Flight. Yeah. Yeah. Is that that movie? Yeah. And then he piffs it upside down? Yeah.

That's the inverted. And that was based on a true story or something? Is that that one? I hope not. No. What was the movie we were talking about the other day that's based on a true story? Sully? The one on the water.

That's that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Hanks. Yeah. That's how we're flying to New York. Through some geese. Yeah. It's not.

Anyway, so there was absolutely, there was no commotion. It was all good. Was it? And Ryan didn't get any laughs. My love to see it is... Is Ryan bombing? At the comedy, at the front of the plane. Holy fuck.

My love to see it is I'm getting a lot of really hilarious cake gear on my Facebook at the moment. Great. Just a lot of weird suggested posts posts and maybe Facebook is, like, changing the way they do their algorithm or something. I don't know. And it's gone Tony Lodge cakes. Yeah.

Or, like, just, like, weird funny stuff that is hard to explain but funny to look at. So I'm going to get Franco to put this on the screen, but I just want to show you a picture of this cake and explain to me what you think has happened. Happy birthday, Shelley. And it's it's like a printout of a looks like a business card yeah it's like a printout of it yeah it does look like a business oh okay this is what i think has maybe happened he's written on the back of a birthday card happy birthday shelly given the cake lady the card and said

put this on it um and they've gone yeah no problems and printed this business card on the back of a birthday card, happy birthday, Shelley, given the cake lady the card and said, put this on it. And they've gone, yeah, no problems, and printed this business card on the cake. Is that what happened to you? So not... Not even close. Not far off, actually. This girl, Shelley, she posted,

my husband emailed a bakery with a picture of an owl for my cake because I love owls. Yeah. He said, please use the attached picture. When they got the email, the format was all fucked and his email signature came through as an attachment. And they legit printed that. That's worse than the emo elmo yeah it is anyway and so it says happy birthday shelly and then it's got like a very professional looking thing on it it's so fucking funny and um and the

bakery where she posted um it was like a post like show me your cake fails or something the bakery said you would not believe how common this is. And that people just don't use their comment. They just open it and go, yep, that's fine. And I guess like, because it would happen all the time, they go, you get one chance. If it's the wrong attachment, like too bad. Who are these bitches working in bakeries? But like, can you, surely you would open that email and go, that's not what they've intended

for me to put on this cake. Or, even if it is, I'm just going to, like, have a look around the email, maybe even reply and go, just to double check, mate. This is what you're after? And surely there would be... Oh, it happens all the time. Like, well, I think that's on you, bro. You know what I mean?

And surely there would be conversation, like, the husband said, like, oh, and with the owl just as big as you can. Or, like, something. And then they go, oh, well that is uh someone's email signature not an owl yes like maybe i'll just do a bit of deep dive and see what i can find um but anyway when someone says can you imagine opening that cake on your birthday i would absolutely die laughing like if you organized but if you organized a cake for me for my birthday and we like opened it up and then i was like that is obviously not what you intended to go through to them.

Maybe they do it deliberately because they know it brings the lols and brings joy to a celebratory occasion. But do you reckon that people would take that well? I don't think most people would take that well. I'd take it very well. I think that would be the funniest thing ever. Would you actually take it well? I would take it well if it happened to me.

Oh, but if you got me a cake and it fucked up, you'd be not happy. Oh, I wouldn't be happy because I'd be like, oh, like, I said I was going to get a cake for my friend. My non-funny, non-terrorist friend. My non-best friend. And then I'd be like, I'd be pissed off that it wasn't right. And I'd be like, hey, I paid heaps of money for this and it's not correct.

But I understand, like, accidents happen, blah, blah, blah. All the fucking PC shit you're supposed to say. But you'd be fucked off, eh? You would. You would be fucked off. All that PC shit. No, you have to say, oh, accidents happen, blah, blah, blah. For the wokes.

I'm just saying, like, you would be fucked off by that, I think. You'd be fucked off. My love to see it today is from London. London, Ontario. Yep. London from London. London, Ontario. Yep. London, Washington. London, England. In Georgia.

Now, London in the UK on the underground, what's it called? The tube. The tube. I've caught the tube many times. There's a woman who goes every day to the underground to a specific station because her husband is no longer with us. But in 1950, he was the voiceover for the like next train stopping, blah, blah, blah. And so she goes to that station and so she can hear his voice every day.

Doesn't that just melt your heart? And that's her there. See, she's sitting at the station. And I think they've upgraded the VO and stuff over time, but for this specific station they kept it and they've sent her a recording and everything. But she goes, oh, it just goes there and, you know, I just remember his voice and remember how nice he was.

And she'd just be so proud as well. Oh, of course. Yeah. Your voice being heard by thousands of people a day. Oh, wow. Isn't that cute as fuck? That's beautiful. Do you think that when I die you'll listen to this podcast

and go, remember my old friend? Yeah, yep. Great. No, I'll get Mabel to listen and I'll be like, that's your aunt, Toddy. She loved you very much. And Mabel will be like, that girl saying the jokes about the dicks and how she got accused of anal when she was 16.

I was like, yep, she loved you. That same one. Yep. She bought you lots of beautiful jelly cat toys. Yeah. She's the one that left all that inheritance. Yep. Would she have?

Well, I do have a few nieces and nephews that I'll have to take care of. And then there's Cam as well. Someone has to look after Cam. Does Mabel get a look-in anywhere? Because you know Pippa's in mine. Yeah, I reckon it would be. You're not, but Pippa is. That's fine.

So I've got three, four nephews and two nieces now, Mabel and my niece Ashley. See how I put that in there. So Ashley and Mabel in the mix? Yeah, definitely. Did I say put that in there. So Ashley and Mabel in the mix? Yeah, definitely. Did I say the right man and nephews? Because, fuck, I can't deal with that backlash if I didn't. This is very Inception joke here.

If you die and Mabel's not in the will, I'll kill you. I think we don't have a will at present. I have to organise. It's on my fucking list. You get why that was funny, right, Cam? No, no, no, I get it. What I was going to say is we don't have a will at present. I have to organise. It's on my fucking list. You get why that was funny, right, Cam? Ah, yeah. No, no, no, no, I get it. What I was going to say is we don't have a will at the moment,

but she would be in there. Well, if you don't have a will, then she wouldn't be. No, but she will be. Will. Yeah, yeah. Let's go and enjoy our weekend. Yeah, that's fair. What are you doing?

What am I doing? Oh, well, tonight we're doing the teleparty. Tonight we're doing the teleparty. Yeah, watching a spooky movie. We're not doing curry night tonight. No, we're not. It didn't sound like it. It's a shame.

I think just enjoying the weekend with my little bubba because we didn't last weekend and then in two weeks we're off to the US, which has come around real fast. Yeah. I'm going to book some shit in. Yeah, same. Fuck. Yeah, we got a baby shower as well, I think.

What for? For who? What for? Well, the thing about these. Are you going to take a gift? Can I make a nappy cake for you to take? Because they're so fun to make. You are on the cake algorithm.

Yes. If I can use it, make me. I made a nappy cake for our friend Georgia Key. Do you remember that? I took it to the pub in are on the cake algorithm. Yes. Can you just make me an appy cake? I made an appy cake for our friend Georgia Key. Do you remember that? I took it to the pub in a HelloFresh box and everyone was like, what did you bring in groceries? I was like, the fucking presents in there, dickhead. Yeah.

I didn't like those girls that were there. Anyway, love you, everyone. Back on Monday. Love you. Don't think any of them listen. None of them like me either. You know how Mabel's got a... Here we go.

Here's some terrible comedy to end the week. You know how she's starting to, like, grab stuff and she's, like, getting really strong? Yeah, she grabs my glasses off her face and, like, shoves them in her mouth. It's so cute. Would you say she's got a strong grip? Yeah, she does.

Like a vice. Mabel's got the grip, the strength of Tony remembering something that someone said one time. Oh, you fucked that right up. Oh, my God. It's like you in the galley all over again. Not getting any laughs. It's not my wife.

It's my colleague. No laughs. Fly the plane, dickhead. No laughs done, they call you. Love you, bye. I need to go home. You really do.