Toni and Ryan - What Colour is Sprite?

Episode Date: January 18, 2026

Is Sprite worldwide?? - Babysitting duty - Premade salad outrage - love ya!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My algorithm is just cooking video. Best rice cooker. Cooking video. Porsche video. Question mark. Porsche, Porsche cooking. Yeah. Instagram is the new.

B. They're going to hate that. They're going to hide that. I'm Mel from Brisbane, Australia. I'm Sarah and this is Casper and we're from Strongsville, Ohio in the US. Hi, I'm Cooper from the Gold Coast. I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.

If you've been here for a while, welcome back. If you knew, welcome. Let's be friends. Let's be friends. This is a safe place, a silly place. This is Tony. I'm Ryan. Lovely to meet you. Thanks for hanging out. Now, there was a lot of affirmations said in the office this morning. Was that parking related or just life? Well, we posted a vlog in our Patreon the other week. Charles and I went to the beach and there's like a, it's basically a 20 minute vlog. of me trying to find parking. Because we went to a beach and then we went to like a reality show. It would just be like episode six. She's parking again.

And I do my pieces to camera in just like the back of the car. Like I'm always in the car. But when I'm looking for parking, especially somewhere busy or like at Christmas time at the shops or whatever, it's just like I'm so lucky. Parking always opens up for me. I have abundance in my life. And I just like repeat that out loud just to try and attract some good vibes

and a parking spot. And it works. Both places we went, I got a fucking rock star park. When I walked in this morning, the first words I heard was, there is abundance in my life, good things happen to me. And I've gone, this is either going to be a great day or something really fucked that's just happened last night. No, so fair.

Nah, it was all good. Because I'm going to share with everyone a text message you sent me yesterday. And I don't know if that's going to derail the abundance in your life. Oh, I say so much stuff. Do you know what it is? No. Tony texts the group chat. and says, did you know sprites available outside of Australia?

I could not believe it. I saw it in a video of someone drinking a Sprite overseas and I was like, holy banana. Turns out, Sprite is a Coca-Cola product. Which is inherently international. Yeah. I've drank Sprite with you in five different countries. What'd you call me?

So you know how at this. the airport in Los Angeles. How we were just talking about the Diet Coke dispenser? Yeah. What was I drinking? One of the six different kinds of Sprite. Sprite. And you drink Sprite like a lot.

If we were ever out at lunch and you ordered a Diet Coke, what would I probably order? So what have you seen me drink in Vancouver? Split there. In London? French Sprite. Bloody Sprite in it. in Auckland. Oh, got a sprite with my fish and chirps.

So, it's right around the world. There's all these, like, famous sprite ads with, like, LeBron and Drake and, like, these iconic, like, if it's, like, if you, if you Googled, like, iconic spright ads, there would be so many big famous ones. I. And then Tony goes, next thing, you know, we'll find out Doritos is global.

Okay. So. You were doing comedy then, surely. In fact, I'm, there's half a chance. Doritos is also owned by Coca-Cola. Okay, so Doritos was not a bit because I was like,

oh my God, I thought it was just in Australia like Doritos, right? And then I went... The reason that I thought Doritos was Australian or only in Australia was because do you remember the iconic Doritos ad where they're like Doritos? And it's like the guy in the marketing meeting

and he's got the Doritos like in his, between his toes. Do you remember that ad? No. But it's super Australian. He's like, Doritos. And so I was like,

that's Australian. What about all those other iconic Doritos ads? Yeah. And like, cool ranch and like, like that, like, like,

iteration of Dorito is like very clearly. Like, I don't even think it's available here. So did you have? Actually owned by PepsiCo. Oh, the opposition. I take back everything I said.

Oh my God. Big Pepsi's going to come for. I think also the iconic Drake ad that you were talking about is Pepsi not Sprite. Type in Drake Sprite. Type in Drake Pepsi. It's... Oh, oh, it's fuck.

It's Sprite. What years is this from? 2017. It's a long ad. It's a... It's a telenovela. Oh. What the fuck?

Oh. Okay. Yeah. All right. For legal reasons, we may not have put that on YouTube, but Tony's just witnessed it. And what did you think of the Drake Sprite ad? I just think you can't look at that green bottle of Sprite and tell me that's not Australian.

It looks, it's not cool enough. It looks Australian. Because it's green. But no, just because it's not. Like the traditional Australian hyniquin beer. Yeah.

A PBR, you know, the great Australian beer. I think it's because the beer isn't, their bottle's not chic enough that I'm like, it's Australian. Oh, the bottle's a bit shit. It's probably from around here. It's probably from here. Hey, how unpatriotic. I know and I'm sorry.

Un-Australian and hot. And, you know. You can't have both ways. Nah, you really can't. I think, though, that Sprite has Australian vibes. What colour is. Would you give me that? Yeah, no, I would.

You know how like months have colours and days of the week and names have colours? Forget what you know about Sprite. What colour is Sprite? Just in the process of forgetting. Yeah, no, it's fine. I just want to make sure that green still aligns for me. I would say green or silver. Which is pretty much what they are.

Yeah. So they've done good there. Do you work for that? Are you being playing in the long game here? Big marketing comes rushing in. I think though that Sprite gives Australian energy. and I'm not willing to say it about anything else just in case it is available other places.

Solo is another drink that I think is only Australian. Is solo only Australian? Solo gives Aussie vibes too. Low on fear so you can slam it down fast. He's one of the great lines. Amazing. And it was the guy like jumping up the bin and he fucking slams in his mouth. Do you remember that?

Wasn't there a kayaker? And he had a solo in the boat? Yes, I feel like I remember that. The one that like where he jumps over the bin, it's like bin day, I think and he's like rushing out to, and he jumps over a wheelie bin. Yeah. It is Australian. It gives Aussie vibes, I feel. And I'll give you that.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're joining us and you're new, Tony and I are best friends and being best friends since April 23rd, 2024. Best day my life. Now, this weekend is probably one of the biggest. weekends for our best friendship. It's huge. My wife, Bridget and I are going to a wedding.

My wife. Where it's no kids. No kids. No kids. And fair play. Yeah. And it's a destiny. Like, it's down in the wineries and stuff.

Mm-hmm. Where are you staying? I'm staying at an Airbnb. Hot. With my good friend, Tony, who is going to be babysitting my two-year-old daughter, Mabel. Ah! First of all, it's an honor just to be nominated. but to win is incredible.

Well, the thing about this is all the regular, because it's a family wedding, can you just close your ears from a second? Just why I bring people up today. Yeah. But actually, though, like, all the people that would normally babysit or maybe would stay at the night are also at the wedding.

Like your mom is at the, yeah. My mom, Auntie Bonnie, even Rach and Dars. They're all there. Totally. Well, let's take Auntie Toddy down and she's going to come down. And it's not just like for an hour or two, like, mom and dad are going to go drink some worms. Yeah.

No, and I would be appalled if you did. Like, you have to go and have fun. Yeah. It's also like, I don't know if you've heard us talking about it, but it's like a black tie affair. Like, it's like getting dressed up. There's been a bit of drama about Ryan, not understanding what black tie means.

But like, it's really like getting hot and getting slutty. Like, it's good. It's very 2026. Hot slut, 2026. I'm going full tucks as well. So I thought black tie just meant like, nice. Ryan goes, yeah, I've got a grey suit. I'm like, yeah, so the clue is in the name.

No, but I was going to wear a black tie. Yeah, yeah. Yep. With a grey suit. Like I get. And they're like, no, it has to be not just a black suit, a tuxedo. Yeah. And so that's been a bit of a brouhaha.

And I was supposed to pick up the tucks yesterday and I forgot. Don't they say, didn't you get it from Suda? Don't they send it? No, I had to go on. Oh, from the, because you got it like a, I bought an ex-rental, so I went and got it like taken in and then I was like, yep. And I forgot to go and get it. Anyway, watch this space.

You like, but it's okay because I got a grey suit at home. Yeah, it's fine. Charles, you don't have a tux, do you that Ryan could borrow? I do. I actually have a black one if you would like that. Is that you were the webbies? Yeah, yeah. You look good.

Yeah. Yeah, he did look very fuckable, Charles. I feel like we all looked pretty fuckable at the wetties. Yeah. I mean, that guy kept thinking you and I were a couple. He's like, kids will be like. Okay, I cannot tell you one more time that we are not in a relationship. We're going to post those photos today.

Yeah. And do you know what? I will say, you will know them when you see them because you'll be like, they've just gotten married in New York City. Why are they doing an engagement shoot? They've just gotten married in New York City at the fucking registry office. How beautiful. And they are a beautiful wedding photo shoot.

We work together and he goes, yeah, yeah, cool, cool. So look lovingly into his eyes. Like, you've just sucked him off. He's like, yeah, can you just maybe put your hand. around her waist, not that sexual, right? Fair play. I think that's fine. And then he's like, yeah, and if you kind of turn your body into him, I'm like, okay, we're

getting, we're getting, it's not that I'm uncomfortable to do that with you. It's just that I know what that is going to look like. Yeah, and if your shoulders go slightly back, which pushes your pelvis slightly in. Yeah. And then if you could look a bit more pregnant, as if you've just gotten pregnant from him, I go, yeah, okay, it's looking good. I'm looking swollen in the uterus. I think it's really going to really show up.

Did you make it better or worse by then? grinding on me and doing a drop. I did the phone drop. On literal Wall Street. On Wall Street. Yeah. It might be one of the most iconic thing.

And we've got a photo of it. Yeah. All right. Go check. It's on Instagram now. Yeah. We're going to post the photos. They're really beautiful photos,

but they just look too romantic. Yeah. And he refused to hear that we weren't fucking. No. Maybe it's because he knew. You know? Yeah. So we're about to spend a weekend together.

With my wife. And child and your fiancé. And my fiancé. That guy was like, oh my God, you just got engaged. I was like, yeah, but not to him. Yeah. Like, are you. Had just got to, yeah.

Because I'd not long. You're carrying that rock around. And he's like, oh, congratulations. You just got engaged. I was like, thank you so much, bro. And then I was like, yo, not to Ryan though. He goes, got it. Say no more.

Couldn't understand more. Yeah. Yeah, I could not get the concept. Anyway. Now, I've got, there'll be some instructions for taking care of Mabel, but I've got to. Which is, I love. Yeah. There's two specific rules, which to the uninitiated to our family, might seem like how specific.

Yeah, okay. But to the uninitiated to your family, do you mean, as in like for people that haven't looked after her before? Yeah. Yep, got it. Like, without context of my daughter, it'd be like, how strange? But if you know, you're like, well, obviously. Totally. Okay.

And the first one is, if you watch the dance mode episode of Bluey, only Mabel is allowed to dance. And she'll let you know. Do you know what? Something in my mind that I had was like, does she like to sing and dance? She does. Yep, but it's a solo. It's not a duet. But sometimes other songs is fine.

But if dance modes on and I go, oh, dance mode, she goes, no, Dad. Okay. No, that's actually really good intel. And that is Aunt Toddy specific because I love to have a dance mind. So does Dad. Yeah. And she went like, sometimes it's fine and other times it is not fine. I'm not going to risk it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now this one, she has to have a bath before bed. Love it. Because kids, well, obviously the whole like clean thing. But also like routine is like we do, we watch some bluey. Yep.

We have a play. Like so screens off kind of, you know, screens out of our mind for 20 minutes. Totally. Bit of a play. Then we do bath. We brush our teeth. We read stories. We go to bed.

And that's like the routine. So we've locked that in. Yep. Bath. Play. Bath. read a book brush her teeth

and she does her hair sometimes that's optional okay you can play that one now and then because I couldn't braid this is the thing

yeah maybe it's right during the day but at night it's more of a brush and just keep it okay yeah all right let me just

but the thing is is sometimes she doesn't side note nothing fucks me off more than like it's so hard to get her in the bath and then you do

and you like it's so hard to get her out I'm like do you fucking like it or not I watched this I don't know if it's, you know, my age, my marital status, but right at my algorithm, it just keeps.

How good's anal. It just. I don't know if it's my age, where I'm at. Yeah, it's just what keeps coming out for me. Trying to avoid having kids myself at this stage. So. Yeah. In the asshole.

No, like, I'll be scrolling and it's like, cooking video, best rice cooker, cooking video, Porsche video, kids, question. And then I'm like, oh, no. And then it's going to go. as Porsche, Porsche, Porsche cooking kids. Yeah. Porsche, Porsche cooking kids. Woman over the age of 30 engaged. It's just trying to really nudge it in.

And I saw one the other day. And it was like with kids, just add water. Like if they're having like a, okay, let me explain. It's like if they're having a bit of a meltdown or, you know, they're trying to get their last wriggles out for the day or whatever, like playing in the bath or like water table. Take them in the pool. All of those. Like they're a really great way for.

So, yeah. Like, I'm all over it. Instagram as, as, yeah. He's the new Montessori. They're going to hate that. They're going to hate that.

And I think that Instagram goes against everything Montessori stands for. Yeah, but I don't disagree. But, you know, like, I'm learning a lot. And welcome new corners of the internet.

Yeah. We've found that clip and fucking hated it. You have sent me some DMs. Awesome. Okay. All right. Just add water. Got it.

Hard to get her in the bath. Hard to get her out. I've got time. But here's the trick for the bath. Okay. Do we do toys in the bath? Yeah, yeah. She actually does love the water,

but I think most kids do, like you said. Yeah. Wet for life. If she doesn't want a bath, offer her and you, has to use the correct Christian name. Okay. The RMS Titanic.

A sneaky bath, a yogurt. A sneak. Fuck, that sounds all right. How do I get me on those? We get a little pouch and she's only allowed it in the bath. And it's not a,

Oh, do you want a yogurt? No, no, no. It's a sneaky bath. So it feels like a drink. Yeah. I want a sneaky bath yoga? Yeah, and she goes, oh. And then sometimes I like, do you want a bath?

So I'm like, we probably have a sneaky bath yoga. And she goes, okay. So you only do the pouches in the bath? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. No.

Yeah, okay. No, it's like, but she wouldn't want it. It's just that's a sneaky bath yoga. Bitch, you want a bath yoga. Yeah, because you've got like tubs of yoga, but the, like, a sneakie bar. The pouch is, that's nice. And then you're going to brush your teeth after her anyway. it's fine.

And just filling up her time before she goes to bed. Absolutely. That protein long lasting energy. Is there anything in particular that you're concerned, not with the rule, but just in general, like concerned about questions. Now, I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or maybe worse. I haven't thought about it at all because I feel so confident. Like, she's a kid that I know, a kid that I love.

I think she feels super safe with me. I think we're going to have a great time. Then I started thinking about it and I did come up with two questions. Sure. Is she still dairy free? We are getting pretty high on the dairy ladder. Yeah. Like we're moving up.

Yeah. Well, you've mentioned the yogurt. Is that coconut yogurt? It is a coconut yogurt. It is a coconut yogurt. Coco Bella. We've done cheeses. Beautiful.

Oh, great. So we can do a little chakutes for this. She actually would fuck with a chiquot. She loves little cheese a little bit. Loves ham. A little mini cucumbers. shit like that. See, look, I'm fucking, I get it.

Yeah. Careful with the olives. Big choking hazard. Yeah. No, I wouldn't give her an olive because I'd eat him. Crooky girl. Do you know what I've just discovered? I absolutely love Sicilian olives.

Like the light green ones? We should go to Sicily. I want to eat an olive off the original tree. He's got a name. It's Charles. Okay. Write that down. Write that down.

Ely, please. So, so I'm just thinking of you, like, walking up to a tree in Sicily and just like, oh yeah, and I would do it like, like eat it off the tree. Yeah. Even though I know, don't come from me, I know that you can't do that. You've got to salt lemon brine there. Fucking what kids eat the taste. Oh, my God.

Yeah. We're not doing cows milk. No cow milk, yep. A good. An ice cream. No, but I'll get you your own ice cream. I've written down like how many ice creams can I give her. Oh no, but she fucking loves like a frozen yogurt or a popsicle, frozen yogurt.

Oh, but I've got these little almond milk ice creams and she fucking loves them. They make almond milk like vegan magnums now. Dude, you can get dairy free fucking anything. It's amazing. Well, Charles is dairy free. It's crazy. The freezer. Have you had the date night?

Oh, they're dates. Oh. And it's called date night because it's like a cheeky little thing. That's cute. But it's, yeah. The frozen. Isle at Coles and Woolies is a fucking great time. It's come a long way.

Oh, it's so good. Yeah. We, when the power went out, um, during the fires and stuff a few weeks ago, our house, like that, no aircon. My wife. Okay, the aircon stopped and she's like, oh, fuck, the power's out. The aircon's not working. And then went and got the fan.

What a beautiful idiot. She, lucky she's hot. You know? Um. But it's so funny. In those situations, you go, well, no. Like, it takes you a second to like. Yeah.

Because when I got home, I was like, why is the fan in the lounge room? And she goes, and I'm like, and I already knew everything. And she just went, no. Yeah. But Mabel and I went to the freezer aisle. I was barefoot because the coldness of. Like, like, the linoleum tiles. Isn't that a treat.

It is. Sometimes if I'm wearing Birkenstocks at Coles, I'll just kick one off and, like, have a little bit of cold time. Oh. that is beautiful i just like a little bit of cold time then i'll pop that one back on i'll kick the other one off and i'll have a bit of cold time on the other dog will get jealous because i can't take both feet off because that would be povo like that would be too bo go you know what i said 14 seconds ago no i know and i still stand by it one at a time one at a time i think i'm like yeah no i've still

got some dignity but if i had both dogs out at once nah um and then i went to mum's house with the almond milk things and we stayed that we had to sleep over because our house didn't have power. I love that. I don't love that you were close to a bushfire, but I love that you had a place to go. My wife, my daughter, two dogs and a bunch of dairy-free ice cream. She's had the night of our lives. What else do you need? Well, soon, Mabel's going to say that was the second best night of her life because the first

best is coming with me on the weekend. Watch this space. Now, sorry, I just have one more question. Oh, yeah. What time does she go to sleep? Like, what are my work? with because diet savings, etc. No.

It's bright till like normally you'd be like bed. Like bedtime is like when the sun's going like when fat cat goes to bed. Do you know what I mean? But fat cat's not on. We used to be really strict on the routine. Yep. But now like if she naps, it's late like in the day it's later if she does and it's earlier. Yeah.

Like she'll often like she'll tell her I'm tired. Yeah. Okay. I just fib it out. Yeah. So we'll we'll vibe. And because we'll know what time she woke up that day and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I love it.

There's no strict bed time. But you know what? And like, don't help bridge this. But what's the point of having like a fun auntie or a fun grandma? Yeah. Because like sometimes. I'm the auntie, by the way. There's some.

Just because there's any computer. I do have a few grey heads, but I'm the auntie. Like some foods, they're a bit too sweet to have too often. Yeah. And she like might have my mum's house. Yeah. What's a point of grandma? It's a silly night.

No. And so when you go, what time to bed, I go, hey, whenever you guys are tired. Yeah, this is the thing about, like, when I, when we're out. You probably stay up late and watch a movie. Well, when our nephews come over and stay the night or whatever, it's like, here we go. And then, do you know what's so good for your ego the next day when the boys are like, like when Lib comes around to pick them up and the boys like, can we stay here?

I'm like, yes. Got him. Hi, I'm Mel from Brisbane, Australia. I'm Sarah from Ohio and the US. I'm Cooper from the Gold Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. So I've just realized that Charles spent all this money on these beautiful pink iPads and I've sat here with my laptop today. No, that's on all three of us. None of us noticed. Yeah, I just didn't even, I just sat here and was like doing a few things and then I was like, yeah, I'm ready to go.

It's kind of fun. It is fun. I don't hate it. A bit new. It's a bit old. Old school. The old is new again. Cycical, isn't it? So true. So true.

I've got a few champion tarpers to shout out right here. Hopefully there's some of the people that might be coming to Fiji. F-G-U-N-U-N-U-S. A bit of fun. Lauren, good on you, Lauren. Mallory, I like the name Mallory. And what I'll say about this one, M-A-L-R-I-E. Oh.

I like an I-E. One of the first loves of my life was named Mallory. Tell me about it. I met her at James Madison University. We only knew each other for about five hours, but it was beautiful. So how long took? Sorry. It took four hours and 57 minutes to get my pants off.

Yeah, that's funny. Where's she now? Do you know. Is she the girl you finger on a plane? No, that's Lauren. Oh, it was Lauren then Mallory. Bridget? Oh, no.

Tony Lodge. I think she works in hospitality. Like higher up at the Marriott. Well, fucking hit her up. Points guys. We're Marriott's points, guys. She could maybe slinger some Bonavoy points. I'll ask her.

Do you talk much? Or is it more just physical? Well, I saw her once. Can I actually tell her? I've seen her 69 times. What? Gossip's coming. I think because we've out of her,

I shouldn't say this story because she's high up at Mariet and I don't want to like. What am I going to do fun on LinkedIn? Charles already has. I like, no for a fact Charles already has, but like... Yeah, but you don't know the fuck story I'm about to say. Tell the story and then we'll decide whether we should beep her name out. Or cut the story out. Live brainstorm.

After this party. At university. Yeah, we go back to her dorm and like... Wasn't it no boys allowed and stuff? No, it's her school. Oh, you weren't allowed girls at your dorm though. Yeah, yeah. So we go back to her dorm.

Hot. and it is hot and then like her roommate comes in and it's a bit like you know just two beds next to each other and it's a bit like oh this is like not really fair on the roommate because you know we're trying you're trying to be a good roommate and it'd be rude to not include oh my god what do you mean that's not where this goes no no it's i was like when you yeah that's so then we were like oh that's i thought that was going to be a thracin situation no someone suggested it and then we both said to the roommate no and um so and then her building was like attached to the like campus library sure so we just went down into the library in the sitting

area not a lot of sitting going oh probably was actually yeah you factor in a library Hmm. Hot. That's hot. That's a hot story. I think I fucked it for myself because I thought a threesome was about to happen. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, that sounds like a porn. Yeah. Like, oh no, the roommates come home.

Like, need some help. Yeah. Oh, um, be rude to not include her. Surprising how often that doesn't happen. It is. And it's surprising how often when the guy suggests that the girl that you're with at the time is how offended by it. Oh, so you. You know, it'd be great.

Her as well. Well, I think that you can't go, you know what it'd be great, but it's just like, come on in, the water's fine. That's how I would have said it. Come on in. If you go out to board. Okay. Mallory, I hope you're doing well.

Melissa. We can't beat the name because that whole thing. Guess it's staying in. Mallory, good on you, Mallory. Hope you're doing really well at the Marriott, Bonavoy. Melissa Verna, hardly know. Good on you, Mel. Emily Fryery.

I thought it was Emily Fieri for a second. Have you actually found her on LinkedIn? Maybe. Of course he had. It's Charles. What's her last name? Is it? Oh, maybe that's a married name.

She's probably married to the roommate. She now lived in a bit of... That would be close enough, right? In America. It's America. They do move around over there. You know? Yeah.

Emily Friery, but I thought it was Emily Fierry. Do you remember when I sent you and produced? cam that photo in Vegas I was like you guys I met Guy Fieri and it was a cardboard cut out out of the front of one of his

restaurants in Las Vegas I was so wasted and I had one of those I sent you guys before I still had a photo and I had one of those giant drink bottles filled with like alcoholic slagy

like the plastic yard grass yeah around my neck With the necklace. And I'm like, you guys, I'm in fucking Guy Fieri. And it wasn't him. And he wasn't very chatty. Yeah, he was pretty rude. He smiled for the photo, but he wasn't really into it.

Sally and Kayla Bradley, you know how Ryan feels about threesomes. So you're in. Jill Voicy, good on you, Jill. Stephen Gearing, Shannon Preston. Kirsty Mathers Jevens. Save some names for the rest of us. Wow. It's Kirsty, but it might be Kirstie, Christy, Kirstie.

and Costa Rica, who knows. Elizabeth Cahill. Do you reckon Elizabeth Cahill is related to Stephen Cahill, who used to be number nine on the Australian men's soccer team? You think of Tim Cahill? Fuck. Was he number nine? Charles, can you Google Tim Cahill?

Fuck. If I've got the number nine, you've got to give it to me. No. Okay. On Melbourne FC? Nah, when he... Which, because he's played on a few teams. Was he nine on any of them?

No. It was always seven or 17. Okay. Oh, no, but type in Australia. Number. Yeah. No. Famous, Tim Cahill,

famously wore the number four jersey for the socoros. Four looks like a nine. I appreciate that. Ryan knows who's looking after his daughter this one. He knows whose team he's on. Emily Jewel. Good on you, Emily. Candice, Grace, Shannon Harvey and Uli T.

Thank you very much for being part of our champion Tppers. Part of our Patreon. We can't do it without you. Yeah. And if you're part of the Patreon and the champion tarpa, you, it could be coming with us to Fiji. Fiji. Eight champion tarppers, they're, I was going to say eight plus ones. That's not each.

That's total. And all of us are going to Fiji at the end of the year. Every year, every month there is. Every year. I was like, oh, we're locking me in for next year. No, every month there's a new opportunity for you to be that round's winner. So I jump on in. Adrian.com slash Tony and Ryan.

I would love to go to Fiji with you. And for our champion tarbys, we're doing a live stream on Friday. Oh, is it the... Do we have to say what it is? We promised everyone who's coming to Fiji with us that we would give them the option between a beautiful new tarp towel or a...

The towels look amazing, by the way, yeah. Or a... Shit-stained towel. And for legal reasons, it can't be real shit. Oh, I forgot the... Ooh. The boarding pass. It looks so good.

No one's scan that QR code on YouTube because then you'll be in Fiji. Yeah, by accident. And we haven't paid for it yet. But we will be doing a live stream trying to see if we can figure out how best to make it look like a shit-stained towel. So I'm thinking or do we not say yet? Do you want to keep it a surprise? Because I think we're both going to bring an option, right? I'll give a clue, but it'll tell you exactly what I'm.

thinking. Well, then it's not the same, is it? Sushi. Soys sauce? Yeah. Okay. God, I can't believe she got it. What a detective. You should work at Mensa. What's Mensa? Isn't that where smart people go?

Charles Google, Mensa. M-E-N-S-A. Mensa sounds like like, menstrual cramps. You're thinking of menstrual cramps. Yeah, I am. Yeah. Or minestrone. I don't like a minestrone. Neither.

Overrated. Nah, it's not for me. It's like an IQ test? IQ! Nah, hate it. Terrible website. Okay. We have gotten a couple of quick cues about the podcast to A-Trip.

Do we have to be delicate about the one? Well, no, I think it's all good. I think we should be delicate. So there is a list of what is included in the... prize, you know, like the goody bag with the towel in it and the fact that obviously we're going to put you up for the nights that you're there. We're going to look after you. Five nights in Fiji.

We are very specifically not saying the hotel so that like, you know, it's like, for safety for safety for everybody. Yeah. So we can't tell you where it is. But it rhymes with Spariot. Mallory's got the hook up. Ryan goes, I won't ask you to have a threesome. can we please stay.

Yeah. No, but we will look after you. Yeah. It's a nice one. It's a nice one. So we're going to put you out. We'll fly you. And in the inclusions, it does say, return flights.

Be careful. I am. I'm going to do my best. Return flights for you and your plus one. Wherever you are in the world, we'll fly you there. Well, wow. I've said too much. Well, someone commented only the return flight.

And just, I just, Just in case anybody else is curious, I'm being as kind as I can. Return flight means like, so you can have like a one-way trip or you can have a return trip. Yeah. Which means we will fly you there and we will get you home as well. It's not just the return. You don't have to get your way there and then we'll fly you.

Yeah. No, and you know, it's fair. Safe space. No dumb questions. But we will. I think the thing that throws me about the comment, is only the return flight and then the emoji is the confused face. Are they having a gag?

Maybe and maybe. Like, let's give them the benefit of the doubt. But just to clear anything up in case anybody is wondering, it is the flight there and the flight home. We aren't going to leave you hanging. I promise. Like, and as an anxious girl, I get it. Yep, I get it. Now, someone called Frosticus.

Hi, Frostycus. On YouTube. I hardly know. Left a comment. And... Oh, no. I think I'm going to have to get you to do this in an accent, as if you're from Inbetweeners.

Oh, yeah. It's like a beacon for Fanny. Yeah. No, he says Tractor Beam. It's like a tractor beam for Fanny. Twelps night just watched Inbetweeners the other way. Frostikas says, getting your clunge finger blasted on the beach

Fiji sounds amazing. Oh, doesn't get your clunge finger blasted on the Fiji beach just sound amazing. I'm in. And you will be. With an answer like that, it is a 25 words or less competition. So the way you use your words is important. And I think adding the word clunge for me there, I mean, wow.

I don't know if it is their entry, but it should be. Yeah. That was just a comment on YouTube. Frostikus, keep the goal to yourself, bro, because you could have just wanted. What if you've given yourself away there? That is so funny. I agree, though.

Someone said also commented... Hang on, but let's think about it. Actually, oh, if you're on a tower, just on the beach, like on the sand. I am not into a beach sexual experience myself. I just think you get sand in places

that you didn't know there could be. Yeah. It takes a while to get it out of there as well. I'd say five days later, oh, Charles has just realized he hasn't got the hot take turning out of it. That's okay. No, but he's,

He was just doing it. That's okay. You know, when you try to look not suss and there's nothing that looks more suss? Yeah. It's like when you're sweating in the airport just because it's hot and you're like, oh my God, what if I look sweaty because I've got heroin in my ass? Yeah. Like, and it's all you can start thinking about.

I did see somebody else commented, Fiji is wet and I replied and so am I. So, you know, all of those things, good areas to play in. Great areas. Yeah. So you have to be a champion, active champion tapper at the time of your entry. So you don't have to stay for eight months. You can just lob one in. Like you can just do one.

If that's all you want to do, that's so fine. You're just got to be an active champion tapper at the time of your entry. Not even when the round closes. Yep. So like just so that everybody knows, it's not like a trick. Yeah. It's not a trick. Like we don't do pranks.

But you are offline in there, right? And no. And no. I do have a hot take. Charles. Oh my God. He's ready. Hot take Tony rolls in every Monday.

Thank you very much. After she scorched the whole hotel. Do we know the check-in time and checkout time of where we're staying in Fiji? Oh, we don't. After you scorched the whole industry last week. Maybe that should be how we determine where we stay from now on. Like, oh, what's the check-in-checkout situation? Well, we'll have to update the protocols of the business

because I believe currently we choose our Airbnb's based on its proximity to office works. And office works. Yeah. Which is less relevant anywhere but Australia. Lily was looking for a new place to live. And I was the reference for her rental. What was the first thing I said about that place you applied for the other day? The first comment was, oh, that's closer to office works than your current place.

And is it what a bonus? Yeah. Office works fucking rules. Office works, fuck. Also a pretty cold floor for those playing along during heat waves and power outages. Yeah, I will cop that actually about office works. They do have good aircon. And because it's not ever really that busy.

Can I also tell you, Tony? Yeah. Because I know you're a craftsman. I am. Thank you so much for saying that. Where begin to washable paints at the moment. So Mabel and I, we can paint stuff and you just wash it off.

Like as in off your clothes and stuff. Or just on the page or you want to paint something? You can wash off. What? Wash it off a page. What do you mean? Or like if you want to paint an item of like a something, like you can have fun painting and then you just wash it off and you can paint something else tomorrow.

Or you can, or the sticks, you can like, the bathtub drawing on the bathtub and then you just but it's paint they sell that office works in all different shades and colors i've never heard of that yeah mate you will love office works oh my and you will love being an auntie i feel like i should just have a kid for the craft opportunities and no other reason yeah i mean there might be some no no you're right sorry for saying that um no well i do have a hot take though is it office works related it isn't i wish that it was because of of coincidence chat purposes, but I think it's pretty good.

Okay. My hard take is that pre-made salads have really gone downhill. You used to be able to get a potato egg and bacon from Kohl's Woolworth's with real bits of potato, real bits of egg and real bits of bacon. Not anymore, bitch. Fucking think again. I bought a pre-made salad the other day that was absolutely dair-bolical, shocking, disgusting. The tangiest thing I've ever eaten and not in.

the way that you want. It wasn't creamy. I seriously think it was made with battery acid. And then I went, you know what? No, give them another turn. Buy a pasta salad. Exactly the same fucking thing. Hard bits of carrot.

They haven't been blanched whatsoever. And we all know what blanched means. So hard agree. Thank you so much. Hard agree. That's right. Like the carrots. It's like sticks of carrots.

It's supposed to be like little bits of like, you know, like a julienne. Like the real thin little match sticks. Can I scorch and? Please. It's the yes. of scorches. I love it. I'm scorch-handing that.

I think, obviously, taking away sumo salad, they were... What the fuck happened to... You've just won the game. Sumo salad. What the fuck happened to sumo salad? Were they the biggest thing ever?

And they fucking ruled. And now you don't see a sumo salad anymore. Are there any sumo salads, Charles? We will drive to a sumo salad today. There would have been one at Northland, but there certainly isn't anymore. I fuck. so hard with a sumo salad.

Yeah, they entered the administration in 2018. Let's reopen Sumo salad. Let's get a big building at Northland and one side is a dome and the other is a sumo salad. How did they go wonder? We're in a health phase decade. It's the perfect thing for the time. Do you know what? It was the first of its kind.

Yeah. For like a premate salad. You know why they went into administration? Because there's one slight of hand that took that business to the fire. fucking ground. Air one. No. Oh,

ran him out of town. They would have been a fierce competitor though. Same market. Yeah, well, it's the health food, isn't it? So at sumo salad, you'd roll on in.

And it was in like a Chinese noodle box? Like, oh my God, so yummy. But on the top of the tray, they would have the good stuff, the egg, the chicken,

the bacon bits. And it made it look like there was so much good shit in there, like the bits. And then they would get the plastic container. and then they would get the tongs and hit under the good stuff and just fill it up with lettuce. Yeah, they did.

And word got out. And I reckon word got out about late 2017. Conspiracy. And that's when they went under. You have to give. Did you make a YouTube video about it or something? A Facebook video. I vined them out of town.

What I will say about the pre-made salad, there's one in particular that is never. good. People are being too liberal with the term coleslaw. I agree. Totally agree. Because a good coleslaw is good. But sometimes you get a cold slor and they go,

have a fucking dry carrot, have a dry purple cabbage, have a dry white thing and just go fuck yourself. We're not putting mayo in it. It's just drier than a dead dog's asshole. I totally agree. But can I say something about coleslaw? Yeah.

How is it dry and soggy? At the same time. How have they managed to Einstein himself Couldn't figure that one out With a dry yet soggy shit fucking bitter cook I hate it Einstein couldn't figure that out

Not the actor who pretended to be him in Oppenheimer Acting I'm talking about the real Legit Einstein Nah They've fucked and they've cooked with that In the worst possible way I just think you used to be able to get a potato wing and bacon that really fucked

And now you can't. They suck dick. You just reminded me. So Waverly Park used to be an AFL football ground like randomly out in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. And now it was like, it's the Hawthorne's training base. It was too far from fucking anything. And people like, we're not going. We're obviously not doing that.

Yeah. With like a proper stadium. Yeah. Like 80,000. That was a grand final there one year. It was massive. Oh, what? And it's in like Mulgrave or Rovill or some bullshit.

Catch the puffing billy there. You can't catch anything. That's a thing. Malgrove to Gembro. Why don't we find the biggest hole of public transport in Melbourne? and put a huge sports stadium in the middle. That's what Perth did with the airport. They really did.

They went, what would be the best place to build out infrastructure? So for those who actually made it to Waverley, nicknamed Arctic Park because it was always fucking cold. Oh, I've heard Arctic Park before. Yep. The food and beverage was fucking awful. And it was the only place where you could get a coffee.

And it's just you saying about how can it be the crunchy and soggy? Yep. the coffees at Waverley Park would burn your mouth out and still not feel hot enough because it was so cold there the coffee was lukewarm but somehow still burnt your taste but like how are those two

things possible in the same cup of same polystyrene cup of pre-made coffee three weeks ago by Donna in the fucking tuck shop oh yeah and it's in the big silver furnace like in this yeah fuck that place yeah no so I agree with you sometimes

food defies science in a way that you wish it didn't. So besides bringing Sumo salad back, any other vibes on how pre-made salads can lift? I just think that they used to be pretty decent. They did. Like if you were doing a classical, if you go, I'll grab a pre-made salad, a hot chook and some white rolls. Easy fucking breezy. Yeah.

Or you grab a packet of snags, a loaf of fucking tip top and a fucking pasta salad, potato salad, etc. That was like a good dinner and that was, possible. That'll get it done. Like, if my mom did that, I would be so, like, you know, you'd be keen on that dinner. Now, you can't get away with it. They're too disgusting.

They're actually sure. Have you bought a pre-made salad, like, recently? I, like, won't anymore. They're shit, hey. But they used to fuck. Like, they used to be good. Or it would be like, oh, if you buy the gourmet one, that's the cheap, the El classical, maybe not.

But they just suck now. Even the salad bowls, like, the fucking lettuce is always like wilted. It's just shocking. Who's doing this? We need to get to the bottom of it. Hard agree. Who could we talk to about that? Thank you so.

Thanks for scorching ant. Yeah. I like the scorch ant. Do you know what I'm really fucking with at the moment? Thank you so much, Charles. Speaking of that, it sounds a little bit like scorched almond. Like a chocolate-covered almond or like a chocolate-covered almond. Or like a chocolate-covered.

Covered Sultana. Do you want to treat yourself? Oh my God. Yum. What? Like this is like real holiday only energy. Oh, like Christmas time. The chocolate covered little honeycomb bits.

Oh. They like mini crunchies. Like a crunchy. Yeah, but you get them in the fancy little bag. That's a real treat. When Lil and I did a little stay down the coast together at the end of last year in an Airbnb, we like knitted and watch TV. It was so much fun.

We went to the IGA and like, you know a local IGA just absolutely. Absolutely hits. They've got the roguer shit in there. The Richie's IGA at Mount Martha showed out. They had these little bags of like Turkish, like gourmet Turkish delight. And they were like big hunks of legit Turkish delight, like actual rose Turkish delight. They didn't do the powder. It was like triple dipped in milk chocolate.

And they, honestly, I think it was like, an out-of-body experience I had when I was eating it. They were unbelievable. I'm not a huge Turkish delight, man, but when done right. Oh, I love a Turkish delight anytime, but they especially, they were. It was like, honest, if you're going to Mount Martha or you live there and you've never had it, go to the riches, IGA. I think it's at the end of an aisle, like the second aisle right at the end.

We might have to drive past there on the way of the wedding. Well, I'll be detouring. I'll go there specifically for that. It was just so yum. One of the top ten reasons it's great to be best friends with. Tony Lodge is that if you get like a box of favorites, she will eat the Turkish delight. And not only will I just eat them, I will celebrate it. Yeah.

Like, I'm happy about it. To give them their moment. Yeah. It's not a concede. You know what else is good. Amoro. I was about to say the moro. I love a moro.

I won't fuck with a crunchy though. I'll be very honest with you. I think they're stupid. I just said all that stuff. No, I think a honeycomb, because it's like fresh honeycomb. But a crunchy, not into it. Why not? It gets in your teeth.

I just think that the chocolate is too sweet for then a sweet inside. What should we do with the sweetest thing ever? I know. It puts something really fucking sweet on it. Like it's just hard honey, isn't it? So do you want something sour? I do. I think I'm more of a savory girl.

What if the honeycomb was in a Jats Cracker, a bit of salt? I'd fuck with that actually. Have you seen those, that TikTok thing that was like Jats Cracker, melted chocolate and then like hundreds and thousands sprinkles on it? It's called Christmas Cracker. Can we do that for Christmas at our family? Oh my God. Well, I'm coming to your Christmas this year.

Yes, yeah, yeah. But that one's got caramel in it as well. Oh, yeah. And I've made that before with, and crushed pretzels into it. Oh, yeah. It fucks. Anyway.

I got to you love to see it here. Amazing. Tarp a Stacy Moore. Hi. Oh, not Stacy less. Give a Stacy more. Driving to work, this asshole cut me off. Oh, fuck him.

I beeped at him. He flipped me off. The perfect combination. Yeah. After flipping me off, he must have grabbed his coffee too tight, and the lid pops off his Starbucks, and he spills coffee all in his car. Karma. Yes, yes.

CIR, yeah. Have a tired, smelly day, you uncaffeinated, bitch, says Stacy. Couldn't have said it better myself. Could not have said it better myself. Well, it turns out you could off. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she missed a spell with the karma. Yeah.

That's okay. That's good though. But doesn't that just set you right up? Don't you love it when it just comes around straight away? So true. Like sometimes you see something you go, oh, so it's going to get you. Oh, what the hell bit? Oh, I fucking slip back.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, shame. Bye. I started fast. And I say you on, definitely. See ya. And then you get, this is a TV episode. And then you get, you drive into work and you go, yeah, I'm feeling good. And you go into a meeting, right?

Everyone's around the boardroom because they're not doing hybrid work anymore. Everyone's forced to go into the office. Everyone's at the boardroom. and they go, oh, it's the new CEO starting today. And they all go, oh, fuck, he must be running late. This really angry man gets out of a Mazda one-two-one. He's got a receding hairline. And he, yeah, and he comes up the stairs.

He's covered in coffee. He goes, sorry, someone cut me off, but you know he's lying. You know that he cut you off. He's walked in and been like, I need to pass the blame here. And you go, no, no, no. And then forever, well, he's the CEO. You go, no, I actually don't trust you. And then when he goes to the board meeting,

so he doesn't know that it was her. He doesn't know it was her, but she knows it was him because she sees the Green Mazda 1-21 in the parking lot and sees the coffee all over him. And she's like, I've seen this guy before. And then all of the stock meetings and stuff, she's just like, I cannot trust this man.

And then in the end, she stands up and she goes, I can't take one more second of this. I know you're a liar. And I think that you're actually laundering money through this business. And then guess what happens? Get taken out by the feds. And then she's the new.

CEO. Stacey Moore, everybody. The CEO. That's amazing. I should have written the last episode of Stranger Things. I've got you love to see it here. Let that sink in with everyone for a second. My love to see it is Tarpers being besties.

Yeah. We get stories of this. And not only us being besties, us Tarpers, Tony and Ryan, but also Tarpers around the world becoming best friends. Katie sent this in Patreon and I've gotten a lot of messages similar but this one it really hit and I really liked it. I don't know if you've seen this

but Sophie Dean who's a tarpa she organized that big journal swap that's going on around the world so everybody's making journals and sending them to other tarpas and they fill in a page and they kind of send it on. It's really it's so cool Katie says hi Tony I'd love to ask if you could give a shout out

on the pod to tarpa Sophie Dean the absolute mastermind behind the international movement called the TARPA Traveling Journal. The international movement. Isn't that just it really hits out? The journals have headed off on their international journeys. So it's not just in Australia. It's all over the world that TARPAs have gone like, yes, I want to act. I want to get a journal.

I want to do my page. It's not just in Australia. It's practically Sprite. And Doritos. Connecting people who may never meet in person, but are linked through shared stories, creativity and a lot of love. So thank you, Katie, for sharing that for big uping soap. But a huge fucking round of applause to Sofe for being so thoughtful and setting that up.

And it's hard to make friends. And that's a really beautiful way of like making a relationship, eh? Yeah. I love it. I love it. Just before we wrap up today, though. Yeah. Last week you went to Youngblood and everyone else might know this, but you like shot your shot

in the DM. um do we just like any replies or anything still no replies of that is okay and he's left now and you i really i really thought no i said this to charles i really thought i had a show and then i'm like standing at the show and i'm like surprised i haven't heard anything back yet like were you surprised like mid-song he wasn't like he saw you and goes oh fuck hang on everyone i got Massive shout out to Tony Lodge, funniest bitchier, you know. Like, that's what I was kind of expecting. And that didn't happen.

If you know, Tony, you know that she's not being like she, like, would be surprised that that didn't happen. I genuinely was. I was like, maybe he hasn't replied to my DM, but he's going to like say something at the show or like, or like, or maybe his team will like come find me. Like, he'd be able to Google up my name in the thing and be like that section she's in. So, if his team. team like taps you on the shoulder and goes, well, you're turning lodge and you go, yeah, and they go, oh, I love it when you do accent work. The big, the big guy, I love to see you backstage.

Dom. Yeah. Dom, who's Dom? That's young blood. That's young blood. He's got two names. Well, he's. His young blood's not his Christian.

The RMS young blood. What do you think would happen backstage? I'm probably like, oh, I'm just such big fan. Would you be like weird? I would. I'd be really like, oh. Gone. Imagine he walked in.

is he here is he fucking here no he's left he's left he's left he's left is he here what would you do if you met young blood

um I would be like oh my God I'm just such a huge fan I love what you do for people I think you're like made the most

inclusive community ever except for Tony Ronp oh okay he's not here but they've just no because he said

he's He's going to do one podcast drop in. Yeah, and he did it for Steph Clare Smith. She deserves it. She really loves Youngblood. And you know what? I love that for her. I love it for her.

She was also start of stage at the concert, which is very cool for her too. I love it for her. There's abundance in your life. No, I know that there is. There will be traffic car parks everywhere. Parking always opens up. Parking will always open up.

No, I did. I saw and I was just like, Like, that is really fucking cool. Is he here? Is he here? No, you're on me out. Okay. It's a great show, though.

What would happen backstage? No, I would have just told him how much loved him that. I thought he'd made a really amazing community. And... And I'd suck him up. Yeah. Yeah, I would. You go, oh, young, blood, you've made such a...

And he goes, shush, shh, shh, why are you talking? He's like, sorry, isn't your mouth full? And I'd be like, like, I'm like, what? I love the music. I haven't seen this since the Daily Mail the other day. My God, I love him. What a Lariken. What a rock star.

Anyway, bye. See you tomorrow. Bring him in. No, is he here? Oh, no, it's just Michael Jordan. Oh, Michael, not again. Tell it, Morgan, MJ. He keeps wanting to be on the pod.

He's so desperate.