Toni and Ryan - What Do You Call A Guy With One Foot?

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

Unc things - Punny nicknames - Inappriopiate jokes - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My boyfriend recently had his foot amputated, and the way we cope with stress is through terrible puns. Let's call him 12 inches. Sounds like a big dick reference, but it's actually about just having one foot. How come? What? How is that a foot joke? Hi, I'm Chinuki. This is Alfie.

We're from Melbourne, Australia. I'm Jen from Williams Lake, British Columbia. Hi, this weekend's a guest from town stands Queensland. And we approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony Ryan podcast. This is Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan John. Lovely to meet you.

If you knew here, here's a place where if you had to pretend to be serious at work, you can just relax and be your true silly self. And I've got a video that will either make our day, like really put us in a good mood and set us right up. Or it might just scratch a little something that's just going to really irk us.

And I actually, I reckon it's going to make our day, but I can see how it might not. So I'm just giving us all permission. to treat this with whatever it feels like is right. Question before you hit play. Yeah. Should we risk it? Because what if it doesn't make our day and then we go,

fuck, why do we watch that? Life is a gamble. So true. You're always saying that. Now, what we're about to see is a guy... Think about what you're really... Gambling with.

Gambling with. What you're about to hear is an 80-year-old man. Love it. He's living his best life. I just don't know. if that is rubbing off on us or making us feel strange. Okay. I don't want that old man to rub off on me.

Play the clip, Charles. Can one of you please call a plumber? Because there seems to be too much drip in here. Slay the day. Rep the drip. Let's go. No, I love him. He's just like too good at it.

No, I love it. A little bit too good. I think that's so sweet. Me trying to engage with my 20-year-old co-workers is a great line. Literally me trying to talk. to Daniel. I'm like, lit weekend, sis. You know, shit like that.

It's just like, that's not worth. Hang on. Please say another Monday morning line to your young Gen Z. Do you know what? I was about to say fan and that's not even cool anymore. Do you know what it is?

It's unk. Do you know what I found out that unk means uncle, not uncle? You just said the same word twice. No, I thought it was uncle, as in like Uncle Ryan. Yeah. But it's uncool.

Oh. Like that's so unc. I thought it was like, that's so uncle energy. Like, ill-cringe, but it's like uncool. Huh. Although to be fair, they could. It's the same thing. Is it?

Like uncle is normally uncool. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh. But unc yeah, means uncool not. Give me your top three unc things at the moment. Personally, just like, oh, I'm not really vibing with this. War. Uh-unk.

Um. that's how the Gen Zs are talking about the state of the world right now if we're doing a top three and that's third that's um oh no there's a guy from the top oh yeah yeah um is this for me or is this like how someone would talk on the internet who's to say it's for you what are you not liking um oh i'm not liking that i just can't be the right temperature at the moment did i tell you last week that i am so sweaty right now I do you want to know what I fucking bought I bought this like

Wet wipes No no no no like this Mega high strength clinical deodorant Like this Rexona one Yeah And it's not just a deodorant You like click it up and it's a paste And you like moisturise it into your armpits

To try and stop me from fucking sweating Today's the first day that I've worn it And it's actually working pretty well But I've had to buy It do you know what it was as well $14. What? Don't.

For the Rexina clinical super protection. Can you have a look at it, Charles? It should come up. It's like, but it was 14. Yes! Half price. Well, I didn't get a half price.

The half price, seven dollars. Jeez, you nailed that price, though. I didn't get. Stronger versus a very basic. Three times stronger. Than a shit one. Yeah, 96 hours, I reckon, so I'll let you guys know. I'm not going to shout out for the next three days.

I'll let you guys know. Summer strength. Yeah, well, it's fucking winter here and I'm struggling. It's a cream, so you click it up and you like moisturise it into your body. I'm out at my wits hand. Unk. Is there anything we can do as we're about to go away to, you know, do we get one of those little portable fan? You know, those little...

Those neck fans, people wear like when they stand at a concert for ages. No, I mean, I've got the creamy deodorant. Oh. Sorry, that's upsetting, isn't it? That's tangy. Tangy. So tangy. Tangy.

Something else that's unc is... I think the word creamy and... Creamy deodorant. Yeah. Yeah, it's not great. That's the most unk thing I've heard. Do you know what? Also, fruits off at the moment.

We're in a bit of a rogue fruit place in seasons right now. Like we're between seasons. We're between, and you can't get any stone fruit anymore, but mandorines aren't really ready yet. So it's like where are we at with fruit. Yeah. And so I'm just... So you just sans fruit at the moment.

You're low on fruit. She's a fruity girl and she needs some fruit in her. Yeah. Do you reckon? I reckon that's a pretty good... That's un-dung. Yeah. What do you reckon, Danielle?

A thumbs up, thumbs down. Was it unc itself? She's saying no, but she's so pretty that she could tell me to, like, jump off a cliff and I would go, okay. Like, she could convince him to do anything. Unk. Emily, Tarpra Emily, sent us a message. Hi, Emily.

My boyfriend recently had his foot amputated. Sorry, we've come in that real strong. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's up. We've come off a lull and I've just steam barrel straight straight. Straight through. Hang on. Okay.

You're going to take a breath. Yeah. Take your breath. Do you know what I'd really like to do a breath workshop? You know how you can go and do that? I read about something the other night. You're joking. Like it was late at night and I was feeling a bit woo-woo. Love it.

And it was this like seven-day workshop and I was like, I reckon Tony might be fucking right up this. Send me the link. I might go today. I need. I'm off. Meet you guys in Stockholm. Great. D2R.

Back to the workshop. It's called the, it's not the Wim Hof method, but it's the wood something method. And it's like, you go for seven days, there's no phones. Alando Bloom's done it. All these CEOs have done it. And everyone goes, I've walked out, a completely changed person. You know, that is meant. It's 10 years of therapy in six days.

Should we go? I think we should. That sounds really beautiful. It's really beautiful. Like you just feel, yeah, so re-energized after that. We're doing breath. We're just talking about the program. Yeah.

We're speaking to our inner child and releasing them to be the beautiful human they can be. Yeah, I'm doing shadow work at the moment. Thanks for asking. It is the opposite of aunt. It's auntie. It is cool. Yeah. What is shadow work?

The inner child stuff. So you kind of delve into your... All the stuff you've locked. Was it the wrong time for me to send you that reel the other day? No, no, no, no, perfect time. I sent Tony this reel and I was like excuse me while I go smoke a bong and look at the stars for 10 days and consider everything that's ever happened in my life

and then Tony replied and said I've just thrown my phone out the window which was impressive considering you still texted me I did that from my laptop oh you're like throw it out the window ran out to get it ran out and grab that text came back in then throw it out again I'm really plugged into the matrix should I say what the line was or is that like too personal I can't even what was it it's apparently what Tony Robbins asked people he goes

whose love did you crave more your mothers or your fathers and then you answer that you answer that for yourself you answer for yourself that's private yeah and then you say um what is it that you had to be or who is it that you needed to be or what is it that you needed to do to earn that parent's love and earn that parents love is just a disgusting fucking thing to even consider isn't it And then there's this assumption that like whatever that is, is you've probably lived your whole life thinking you need to be that to get love from anyone.

When actually, yeah, the phone straight out the window. But anyway, that's where you kind of go, okay, well, the people in your life now, hopefully are people that you don't have to earn love from because you get to choose who is in your life. Do you have to earn my love? I hope not. And what person do you have to be to earn my love? Just myself. Yep.

Yeah. But I don't have to earn your love. No, you've just got it. It's unconditional. Yeah. But see, I think that if you've never had that before. It's strange. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I've had it. Mm. So I had this thing where I want this thing from my birth mother. Yeah. And she's dead. And I'm still trying to prove it to a dead person.

Yeah, that's crazy. So that's where my phone went out the window. Yeah. So anyway, Emily's message through. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Yeah.

Okay. Let's, um, a quick... Do we need to walk in some hot coals? Do we need it? We come around the grounds. Write down, Charles, that we want to do that course. Yep. Let's do this now.

Yeah. Quick, deep breath. When's a good time to have a week off away from the fam, considering we're just about to go away from the fan? A few times. Yeah, a coupler. Well, we'll do it in August. Hey, Bridge, you know how I've gone away lots.

We'll do it in August. The thing about this week of, though is that's for everyone's benefit it actually is you know like you're doing work for yourself but it it benefits us all alando bloom said it made him a better father that's amazing god he's good isn't he who does he have a kid with miranda cur katie perry was he married to miranda cur yep nice maybe they do have kids who knows did they have a kid they do thanks charles they have a son beautiful and uh with katie has a daughter Oh, and isn't she called Daisy or something?

Yes, correct. Isn't it crazy to have two kids and ones with Miranda Kerr and others with Katie Perry? Is that just like the craziest thing you've ever heard? Tell me you hit the jackpot without telling me. Fucking out. Crazy. Okay. But he did that.

So imagine what's in it for us. Imagine who you could have kids with. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God. I would love to have kids with you. At nine months after the retreat. Yeah. So what do you guys do at the retreat?

Show me your shadow work. Well, they had some really interesting techniques. Yeah. I went deep. you know what I mean. Yeah. All of it. All four centimeters deep.

Yeah. Okay. Emily. Hi, Emily. How long will be going for, Charles? We need to take a breather. I'm sweating through the clinical deodorant. In like 12 minutes.

Fuck, 12 minutes too long, I reckon. Yeah. All right. No, no, no. Are you sweating? You're hiking that skirt up. No. It's so much going on.

It's like you trying to get to mere up there. Do we? you see that? Oh, did you? Oh, Charles. There's a... Don't play, it's like, see this massive camera and staring at it? Charles, you have to put a thing over that's like too hot for TV or something. The camera's into you. You're born for the camera.

Sorry, I don't know. You know that video of Justin Bieber where he's being interviewed by that chick? And then she goes like, ha ha ha ha. And he goes, I like that laugh. And he like fully pops her love. It's so funny. Did that girl just combust? Combusting. It's so fucking funny. It's like got turned into a vine.

Like, what do you think of that? Sounds like something she said. I like that laugh. It's like diabolical, eh? That is diabolical. That is diabolical. Emily. Do we want to do this now or take the little breath?

It's up to you. Let's take a breath. Okay. All right, BRB. Oh, just a breath and then keep going? No, breath into the, Okay. I'm Jin from Williams League, British Columbia.

Hi, I'm Chinuki. This is Alfie from Melbourne, Australia. Hi, I'm Ken the guest from Town of St, Queensland. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. All right, we're back. Woo. I like that laugh. I like that laugh.

You know what that laugh is? Yeah. It's the same laugh as, come on in if you get some. I knew I heard that laugh from somewhere before. That's not the first time I've heard that laugh. Come on in, if you got some bossy. I love that video so much and he falls down the stairs.

Okay. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpas, which is one of the tiers over at our Patreon. You can get access to a group chart, so you can talk to all the other tarpals. It's really, really cool. Cynthia Christenberger, hardly Christen Noah. Twisty, Twisty Fingers.

Corey H., Katie Hamilton. Ash Pedron, good on your Ash, Jay, Belinda, Karina Abley and Charlotte Cracknell. Good on your Charlotte. Thanks, Charlotte. A little double C. And geez, I'm going out on the limb here and saying, are we doing a live stream on Patreon this weekend in Stockholm?

You're asking a lot. This is maybe live from a sauna. Yes. Sorn a pending, definitely live. Amazing. Emily has sent us a message. Tarp Remley. So this was on the Facebook group?

Yep. Beautiful. Thanks for joining. My boyfriend recently had his foot amputated and the way we cope with stress is through terrible puns. You know what? Same. Ryan and I talking about dead moms, adopted moms, fucking whatever.

Comedy. You need it. My family are boring and don't get comedy. Me either. They don't like this podcast very much. So I was wondering if the Tarp community could help put a smile on our face. by giving us some ideas for his new nickname. I've also been...

Yep, I've also been encouraging. We haven't started yet. I've also been encouraging, in brackets, forcing him to listen to the podcast so we can have a little feel-good break from his shit hospital stay, and I'd love to show him how great this community is. So, Emily, and what's her boyfriend's name?

She hasn't said. Oh, okay. We're just going with the new nicknames. Yep. Thanks from his smoke show girlfriend, Emily. Hot. Hot. You can tell Emily's hot.

Emily is a hot name. Is it spelled the Slatway? With a Y? Oh, no. The Slatway is IE. Oh, is it? Yeah, like the girl who does my eyebrows, Emily. I know a French girl, Emily, who's an IE, and she's stunning, but it's not like, it's like a different kind of stunning, you know?

But it's like hot slut or no like just like classic and beautiful. Yeah. Or both. Just like no words that everyone's ever used next to me. Do you know what I mean? Don't talk shit about my best friend. Take that back. Sorry, take her back.

Tony, you are classic. I think we need the horse photo before we go into the Peggy Sue jokes. I'd hate to get this segment off on the wrong foot. Foreshadowing. Love you, Emily. Thank you for sharing this. What did our tarpas come back with? Katie.

Perry! She had a kid with Orlando Bloom. It's called Daisy. Before we get to the nicknames, there's been some chat. Katie said, asking for these names, already a good sign of humour. I haven't met him yet, but he's made a great impression. Really put his best foot forward.

If that gives you an indication of where we're headed. Amazing. Oh, the tarpas are so beautiful, eh? Tarp of DJ Hillary. Oh, DJ Hillary. Want me to play some foot loose, or would you prefer some limp biscuit? Also, as I said, they've asked for this. Yeah.

But also, limp biscuit is a different angle. Like, I wouldn't have gone limp. That's great. I never go limp. TARPA Melissa said, I can't have dairy. Seems like we're both lactose intolerant. That is so creative.

That's amazing. That's so fucking funny. Now, Kelsey's actually put a warning into the chat. Oh, Kelsey. She said they did ask for that, but I don't know if we should be mean to someone that we've just met and is going through a horrible time. You know, sometimes stuff doesn't translate well, like, you know, like that.

Yeah. Like. And you don't want to be disrespect. She said, so this isn't for me. I don't want our relationship to get off on the wrong foot. I get it. Appreciate that, Kelsey. Thanks for, yeah, I think it's nice that you took the time to ankle knowledge that.

No, okay, I'll keep working on. Jill Taylor. Let's call him 12 inches. Sounds like a big dick reference, but it's actually about just having one foot. How come? What? How is that a foot job? 12 inches?

Yeah. You're not saying anything. No, so I get how... Oh, a foot! Oh! That's very, very funny. A foot, yes. Foot long, like at Subway.

Yeah. Michael Jordan's foot is what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah. That is so fucking funny. That is very, very funny. Fuck, I'm embarrassed for not getting that. Alexandra said, if he likes beer, you could call him an IPA.

It's a very hoppy ale. Emily McMahon says, I can't really think of one. Me, like you, I'm stumped. Funny. Talia said, let's call him auto. Because if you drove a manual before, he certainly isn't now. Who's a manual? They're just so creative.

That's amazing. Emily. Original Emily. Original Emily. and boyfriend. And 12 inches. Just the one foot. I don't know if you get it.

I hope you've enjoyed that, but also there are 15 million comments on that thread. That is so beautiful. That everyone rallied. So if you want a little chuckle, enjoy. Oh. Because... Did they respond since?

Probably died of laughter. like me. That's so funny. Well, she's probably there with the calculator trying to figure out the 12 inches. Yeah. She goes, we could go to Subway, but I don't think that's the ticket. I just don't think that's it. Fuck, they are so funny. I love being a tarpa.

That is so sweet. Now, I've got a question because I really enjoyed that. Question. We don't do pranks. No. We aren't mean. We're a very supportive community. Safe.

I've written the word gentle roost. I feel like the consent comes from, they sent it in and said, here's where I'm at. Can you come up with a nickname? Well, they ask for puns, which is not a, like, it's not the same thing. That is fair. That is fair. Like, so saying like, oh, what are some nicknames and some jokes and some puns for, like, my boyfriend who's just gone through this? Like, that's very different to like.

But is there some area where we can say, like, it's like you submit, you say like, here's where I'm at. I'd love you to make a joke about it. Well, yeah, like, I feel, yeah, it's just that, isn't it? So, but do we open the floor and say, I mean, I think it's up to, if people ask for it, we can't. That's what I mean, but we're happy. That's not up to us to police.

Oh, but we can encourage or discourage or read them out or not read them out, you know what I mean? But I think that like, when you're going through a shitty time, if you go, this is what I need, then like, who am I to say it's not? Like, who is anyone to say that, like, that's not going to help you? You know, like, we, do you remember early days when we did those jokes, like, coming up to Mother's Day? And it was like, you know, about having lost your mom or being adopted and stuff. And people are like, it's so fucked up.

You'd make that. I'm like, but I'm making it about, like, you can't decide what's okay for me and not. I specifically remember knock, knock, who's there, not your mom. Yeah. Yeah. Which is one of, and now anytime someone says, Knock knock I go. Yeah.

Or like the orphan ones about like, how you can't play baseball because you don't know where home is. You know, and people got really upset on your behalf, but it was for you. Or when they said the reason you don't play poker is because you don't know

what the concept of a full house is. Yeah, very good. That's a very good one. I like that one. But, you know, like only you can decide what you need. What's the, when the, also in poker, they said when the guy goes,

well, I'll raise you and I said thank you. Thank you. I like that as well. Oh, that's good. I've got to you love to see it. Please. Even though they are, I just love our community so much. That is so beautiful.

This one's also come from the Facebook group. Felicia Marie, which, my middle name, very close to my heart. Tony Felicia Lodge. It's not really my name. Huh? Is it a relation of yours? Yes. Yes, we were both adopted.

Great. Yeah. So we have said on this pod before, I said that one of my favorite hacks is that when you buy something from a store you haven't bought from online and trying like Hello 10, Hello 20, Welcome 10, newsletter 5. You've got to like try those. Newsletter is a new one that I've found. So you've signed up to the news. That's used to me. It makes sense.

But yeah, that's new to me. And you just try with a couple of different numbers. Five, 10 and 20 is normally like you get something out of those. normally they're in the newsletter. Well, yeah. And they go, oh, thanks to subscribing to the newsletter. Now here's your little treat. Newsletter five.

And you go, maybe. Or that first 10 is another one that's worked for me before. But I love seeing people do that and it works. So Felicia Marie posted in our Facebook group saying, it worked. I've been putting random welcome and thanks codes. And it finally worked today. So Felicia bought a backpack, which was 130 bucks, used Welcome 10 and got $13.30. of the final price.

Isn't that amazing? Welcome 10. Tony, do you need to do... They have bought the product protection insurance, which I don't fuck with that, but that's okay. Is that about 10% worth? $10.98. Put that money straight back in?

Yeah. Yeah, don't fuck with that. I don't. No. You're just got to leave it with the God sometimes. I agree. Yeah. If the backpack is meant for me, it will come.

Do you and Danielle, with the answers of, already yes. Yes. You would never say no to her. No. Need to do like a really nice carousel that's basically like, from my experience, these are the words to try.

Oh yeah. Like we've mentioned it here and there, but do we need to just like put it on paper, like put it on the record? Yep. Because I feel like that is saving money for all of us. It's fun. It's so fun. And I like the thrill of the chase.

Like when you sit there and you enter like four or five just to see if you can get one, you do it, eh, Charles? Yeah. Yeah. But I'd also like Google the website as well just to see if there's any like updated. That's cheating. I don't do that. My love to see it is just so wholesome.

Oh, beautiful. Zane. Hi, Zane. Zane Malik. Oh, no. Maybe it is with the fake name, no. Like, you know, he's like, you know how you like charge of. That's his name.

With Zane Luffy. Oh. So yeah. Now, he's joined my local like neighborhood Facebook group. Amazing. Altham 3095 Shalgo And

Is there like a hand thing That you guys do? So I grew up in Rolly Stone which was 6 triple 1 So we used to do this because it looks like 6 triple 1 Yeah I can say that Do you guys have like a thing that you do like Or 395

Yeah You've just done the 6 triple 1 3 Yeah Oh Yeah 9 5

Tony's just giving me the middle finger Just fingered him Yeah So Zanes joined the Alphen Facebook group. And for a few weeks, welcome to the community. He's just moved to the area.

He's been chatting with people, trying to, you know, see what's up, where the cool places to go. Sick. You got us, that's the new thing, isn't it?

Scoping out your Facebook group and seeing what people are saying. And then he's posted in the group because he's been a bit confused. And hi, hi guys. Hi, I've only just in the last few months

moved to the town of Altham in London in the UK. And I've only just this morning realized that the group I've been chatting with and checking out all these new places is actually Altham in Melbourne, Australia. He was in the wrong bloody Altham. In the wrong bloody Altham! Just wanted to say that I'll be stuck.

So, hang, I think that he's not from Australia. No. No, he's not. And he's also never been in. in a movie made by Christopher Nolan. Sounds like he needs an accent then if he's not from Australia. I just want to say that this group has been awesome. Everyone be real friendly. And even though none of the things apply to me,

I'm going to stay in the group anyway because you seem like a real good bunch. He just loves it. He just loves it. You guys are just so, you guys are just so friendly. Have a lot. What week weekend.

Wait, one week. From a weatherman in your twin town. Your twin town. That's the cutest thing about her. I didn't realize this when I screenshot at it. Comment from Sophie. Woods? Nope.

Oh. I am also from London. Oh. Also from London? Also didn't realize to I wreck your post that I'm also in the wrong group. The thing's being like, oh, great coffee down at Zendendon. And then it's like, where's Zendon? Yeah, she's like, oh, sounds great.

Sound great. I have to check out sometime. And then, like, that's true, I can't seem to find it on the map. And then, aren't they? Oh, isn't there? Because you know what is rife in a Facebook group? Bin chat. Aren't they like, well, that's not what our bins look like.

Did all of our usual gripes make sense? E.G. Police activity, helicopters, theft in the area, parking and bad drivers. Like, surely it wouldn't. Can I give some, as someone who's lived in a few places and traveled a few places, Can I give some, uh, drop some knowledge. Yeah, around the world, Ryan, we call him. Every city in the world thinks they're the one city with bad drivers.

Oh, yeah. Every city in the world thinks they're the city that has crazy weather that changes real quick. Oh, you know, Melbourne, four seasons in a day. Yeah. Oh, you got your umbrella in the morning and you don't need it by the afternoon. You know, Kuala Lumpur, four seasons in a day. Yeah. Like, oh, don't go to Perth.

No one knows how to merge. Oh, be careful in Arizona. No one knows how to merge. So what's happened here is the guy from London has been reading about bad parking. He's been reading about no one can fucking merge. And he's like, so fucking true. Oh, my God. It was sunny this morning.

It looked beautiful. All of a sudden, it's like the middle of winter. It's pouring. He goes, yep, that's my town. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're all. Is it a bit like a horoscope?

Like when you read it, you like make it work for you? You go, oh, that could be. Yeah. Then another person, we visited the other Altham in the UK. Because we went to the UK and they said, where you're from? We're from Eltham here. We've got to go check it out. Of course.

So we went and went for a walk and this is Eltham Palace. That doesn't look like a palace. What's the other Eltham? It's beautiful, but I don't know about palace. I've been to the Buckingham Palace. It was very different. In London. Oh, not.

Hikingham Palace on Researchwarrant Road. Yeah, just off the ring road when you get off of the right next to Tala Marine. But the fact that he's staying and sent you guys said all like a lovely bunch, doesn't that just warm your heart? Did it make you feel, because yes, it's incredibly wholesome, did it make you feel like weirdly patriotic? Like, you know when people, like when people make kind of say, oh, what a beautiful city or what a lovely suburb and you go, we do that.

Like, you just feel like so. patriotic about it. There's also an Altham near Byron Bay in New South Wales. If any Altham from Melbourne want to come visit, you should. That's so sweet. Should we go? After we go to the... Before or after the retreat.

The retreat? Yeah. And after Stockholm, before London, maybe, ends party. Life show, tickets available now are Tony's Henceparty.com.com. Is that the website? Tonytenth party.com.com. That's idiot. Yeah.

Nailed it. All right. I wrote the email. Nice work, Tony. That's my love to see it. Tomorrow on the show. What is... Oh, God.

Someone shit my sister's garden. More coming tomorrow. Was it the knick-knocker? Who's the nick-knocker? The knick-knocker. What the fuck is that? The doorbell presser. The ultimate revenge.

What's a knick-knocker? When you go nick-knocking. Um, okay, grandpa. I don't know what unc you are, but that... Google Nick knocking, put it on the screen. Do you mean like, ding-dong dash? Oh, and I'm the weird one. Oh, my God.

But is that what you mean? I'm the weird one. Oh, my God. We both said the same thing. Knock-knock ginger. Oh, no, that's something Charles would say. No, it's ding-dong. We should try it knock-n-n-n-sporty.

Not-n-n-sporty. you know, you just pick a spice girl and go for it. All right, we'll chat you tomorrow. Have a good one. Nick knock, baby. Nick knock, posh. That would be Charles. Love you.

Bye.