Toni and Ryan - What Toni Saw On Ryan's Phone

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Again.... Unexpected. Love u!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. I think we all just got caught up in being Spanish. We're calling Michelle, but in the studio we all just went, Michelle. Although that sounded like Borat. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing. What did you do? I don't know.

No, do it. Michelle. That was Italian. Yeah, that was strange. Well, Michelle's in Adelaide. Yeah. Essay. Oh, time difference. She rents out instruments. What's Adelaide. Yeah. Essay. Oh, time difference.

She rents out instruments. What's Adelaide to Melbourne half an hour? Hi, Michelle. I had that same discussion with myself this morning. And time zone chatter always goes off, Michelle. Yeah, it's always a great topic. Michelle, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Hi, it's Michelle from Adelaide and I approve this podcast. Our last show from the USA. Hallelujah. Be back in the studio on Monday. Tomorrow and Friday we'll have some throwbacks of some description. Yeah. We'll figure that out.

Yeah. How are you travelling, Toni? I'm travelling like it's my last day. Yeah. And I'm pretty happy about it. Crawl onto the line, is that fair to say? Mm. Okay.

Coming up today, things we would recommend Americans take from Australia. We've got some cool shit, you've got some cool shit, let's all share our cool shit. Yes, and respectfully. Share cool shit. You know, not like, oh, I hate that America doesn't have this or, you know, we're not about that. We're about, you know, connecting, creating a better two countries.

One's not better than the other. We just got things that we could, you know, share back and forward. We'll do it soon. Is it rude for me to throw one out the top? No, as long as you got enough to then we can do it again later. America doesn't have frozen Coke at McDonald's. Huh? Isn't that a real treat on a hot day?

at McDonald's. Isn't that a real treat on a hot day? I controversially am like not a frozen Coke guy. Are you a frozen diet Coke guy? No, like I don't really like frozen drinks. Really? No, because I really like drinking and I don't like- It's too slow. You need to chug it down.

It's too slow. Yeah, I'm like a- Well, you don't get it when you're third. Well, so, I had a really long walk along the beach and I had to carry Mabel because for some reason she was too cool for the pram. Yeah. She just wanted to hang out with her dad. Yeah, we were just hanging out.

So, I carried her for a long, long walk and I got home, sculled a bottle of water and was like, and it was a warm day and I was in the sun. I was like, oh, how good would a frozen Coke be? Yeah. So, I jump onto Uber Eats and I'm like, well, it'd be rude not to get some nuggies while I'm out. Oh, yeah. So, I'm like, nuggies, frozen Coke, what a little afternoon treat.

And they're like, don't do frozen Coke here. It's not a thing in the United States. Guys, it's like a slushy, but it's like Coke and they do it at Macca's and it's sick. It's fucking good. You know what's good at Macca's in the US is that a double quarter pounder is like an ultimate double whopper. Really? Yeah. So, a double quarter pounder is like an ultimate double whopper. Really?

Yeah. So, a double quarter pounder here has like lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise in it, which is like fucking elite. Yeah. And because a double quarter pounder in Australia is just the meat and the cheese and the pickles and stuff. It's just a quarter pounder with an extra patty lob in. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a nice change up. It's fucking elite. Yeah. Oh, maybe I would have got that with my not-frozen coat yesterday. Maybe get that. I would. Maybe after we finish here. On the way home.

Yeah, before we flee. Yeah. Before that, though, even though we've already done like eight, before we get to that, I've actually donned Sherlock Holmes' hat. It's actually a New York Yankees hat. And solved a mystery. Really? A mystery as old as time.

And I can't believe that I've achieved something so great while I sound like this. Yeah, you're fooling us, mate. This is what greatness looks and sounds like. Thank you. I'm at the top of my game. Before we get to that, though, I have some questions for you, Ryan, and your phone. Okay.

And the way that you use it. Yep. And the way that you watch things on it. Yep. And maybe what you watch. Oh. The other day. I've been on the road by myself for a while.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't know why the hot girls are in my algorithm. It's so weird. Yeah, it's so strange. The other day, you went to show me a video and I. Oh, yeah, yeah. I actually, so the video was like, everyone's probably seen it.

It was viral like three weeks ago. And the scooped bagel thing. Yeah. That's what it was, wasn't it? I'm not scooping your bagel, bro. Yeah, and the guy's like, what the fuck? But it's like, fair enough. He asked for a fucking bagel with like the guts scooped out of it.

Gluten-free bagel. Stay at home, dog. Fucking hell, just poison it and fucking get it over with. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway. Cut out the middleman. So you go, oh, I'm not scooping your bagel.

And I was like, what? And you go, oh, it'm not scooping your bagel. And I was like, what? And you go, oh, it's this great video. Let me, I'll find it for you. And I was like, okay. And I was actually sitting behind you and I'm, and you were like, oh, I think I sent it to someone. You checked there and you hadn't. And then you're like, oh, hang on. I'll scroll through my liked videos on TikTok.

Yeah. And I was like, okay. And then 45 minutes goes past. It wasn't 45 minutes. It wasn't instantly, but it wasn't 45 minutes. Maybe I'd say five minutes, which is a long time because of TikTok. It felt like a long time because of the stuff I was swiping past. Yeah.

So, would you like to tell everybody what we saw instead of the bagel scooping guy video? So, I'm on the record. I've talked about that Turkish guy who does the massage where he basically just beats the shit out of people. The facial massage. Yeah, and he does the whipping of the ears and he foams them up and like nearly drowns them in soap. And so, I- Lovely. I find that relaxing for some reason. Yeah.

And so, then when you go into like massage TikTok. Massage Tok. Mass- Mass Tok. Oh, that's- Oh, no, no, no. That's a different thing. That's what we asked for yesterday. Yeah.

Mass Tok-bation. Mass talk-bation. When you get into massage talk, like, it gets a bit weird. It gets a bit sexy. It gets a bit random. It gets a bit straight, gay and everything in between. Yeah. Before I say too much and incriminate myself more, what did you say?

Because I saw a lot. I just don't want to say anything that I might have. I saw a whole. I just don't want to say anything that I'm out of. I saw a whole lot. Yeah. And I actually, it popped up and it was like, are you 18 or over? No. It did not. No, it didn't. It did not.

It didn't. Because you have to be. You've already been along. But so, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like looking over your shoulder though and I'm seeing some like pretty raunchy stuff. Yeah. And so, and bear in mind- Just because I like the old Turkish guy.

This is not your For You page. This is your Watch history. Watch history, yeah. So, it's actually things that you've sat on there for, like, what, over three seconds and, like- Oh, does it have to be over three seconds for it to count on the watch? Oh, okay, sorry. Yeah, but that's the thing.

I was in massage talk. And some people like to be massaged naked with people's penises and do you remember a couple of weeks ago yeah maybe two weeks ago i said oh since we've been in the us have you just been jerking it non-stop yeah and then i see this happen yeah before my eyes and the answer is yes no you obviously have been watching massage talk and jerking all the massage talk was from one session and jerking it like crazy only one session because again when you hate to see another one because when you get into that area then it's just the algorithm yeah i don't know like i've i

typed massage type massage and see what comes up in your phone right now. I'll get bloody... Shadow banned. Blocked. What is it? Thank you. Shadow banned will do. Am I defending the massages or the jerking it like crazy? Where am I up to? It's up to you. It's your choice.

It's your day, man. I find massage talk relaxing. And some people like to be massaged in not many clothes. Do you know what I like? Like satisfying videos of like cake, cake decorating and, like, doing craft and then pouring. Mine is also cake decorating, but it's decorating people's cakes with their hands. Frosting. Yeah.

So, that kind of happened. And then I got a bit wary of your phone. And I was like, I don't know what's going on in that bad boy, but it's not good. Is the smoke coming out of it? Well, you jizzed into the- Socket. Into the socket. And then, like, we got on the plane for-

We were heading fucking one of the many places we were going. And you said, oh, check it. We were about to, like, we'd just taken off. And you said, check out this thing on my phone. Yeah. And I don't know if you overheard this, Cam. Ryan doesn't put his phone on flight mode when he's on a plane. I forgot once.

No, no, no, no. It's happened more than once. But it's not like deliberate, like, screw the man. It's just I sometimes forget. No, I don't think you've ever done it. I've done it once or two. I've done it before. I've done it.

I've done it. But you don't do it. It's not something you like do. If I remember, I'll do it. That's not, that's so, like. What could happen? So, I thought. Surely nothing bad.

What could happen? So, I thought- Surely nothing bad. Well, seeing as they tell you to do it, it's obviously bad. Like, otherwise, they wouldn't tell you to not do it. I thought when they're like, electronics away is like, put your laptop away and your iPad and stuff. They literally say, put away your laptop because you can't have your tray taped down or whatever. But then it says, and all devices on flight mode.

They say large electronics. No, no, no. They say large electronics away and all devices on flight mode. I wouldn't have heard that because I had my headphones in listening to Spotify. Yeah. Is it Spotify's fault? No. Okay.

Definitely not. Just thought I'd check. But so I did some research and I was like, what actually happens when your phone isn't on flight mode? It's one of the great conspiracies of our time. Like whether it's actually that bad. It's not really that bad. Yeah. And, but what it does.

Our planes keep landing at Area 51. But what it does is that like, so I read a bunch of articles about this, right? Yeah. And I also read like, there was like a Reddit thread about it, people being like, I'm a flight attendant, is it that bad? I'm a pilot, is it that bad? And there was like a plane control tower person who was like, to be honest, you're probably going to fuck a few people off

because you're like emitting a signal. Right. And they're like, but it's actually worse for you. What do you mean? Because your phone spends the whole flight trying to connect to whatever it finds. And it's not much. And it goes flat. That's why my phone's been flat all of these years.

That's why your phone's always flat. I thought you said it was going to be bad for the guys in the tower because they're all watching massage talk. Yeah. Well, if they're getting your algorithm, you're all connecting. Oh, there's one strange signal coming. Oh, and what a signal. Oh, guys, I'm going to take five. Yeah, he's really working that signal. I might take my tea break now. Also, I'm spending my whole flight pinging. Yeah. And so that's why your phone goes so flat. Can we just do a stock take of where my phone and laptop

are right now? Plugged in and charging on my chargers. Tony. We know they charging on my chargers. Tony. We know they're Tony's chargers because they're labelled. I had to start labelling them because you fucking keep stealing my chargers. I never get them back. I also noticed you've labelled your actual laptop. Oh, do you know why that is?

Why? Because every time I go through airport security, everybody has a silver fucking MacBook Pro. Of course. And you've got to take the laptop out. Yeah. Yeah. And so I look into, there's eight trays that go past. Yeah.

Every laptop looks exactly like that. That's smart. Yeah. And so, I put a little label on the top so that I could be like, that's definitely mine. Because before I had to open it up and like see what the login thing was. Yeah. So, it actually is like saving me a ton. Maybe you should get it personalized by our friends at July.

Nah, you're right. Get your name engraved into it. You're right. a text. Maybe you should get it personalised by our friends at July. No, you're right. Get your name engraved into it. You're right. You stuck your name on it. It's almost as bad. I don't think it is. I don't think it is either. I'll put my hand down.

Yeah, I think you've got to cut that. That is not as bad. Okay, so I'm pinging, I'm draining stuff. You can't really get any shit anyway. So it doesn't connect to anything, so you've got to put your thing on thing. Pretty good. That's good sleuthing. So you've got to put your thing on thing. Pretty good. That's good sleuthing. Good science from me.

Yeah, good science chat. Yeah. I love how you like guys. I've done a scientistic investigation. Scientistic is what we say. So I was on Reddit, right? I send many articles. Yeah.

Cross-check peer reviewed. Thank you. What was the sample size of the review? Many massage talks. Yes. And then a Reddit and then... I don't want to, like, get crazy because next week when we're back in Melbourne, I'm sure we'll do the draw about who gets who for Secret Santa.

Oh, yeah. If whoever gets me and it's under the, what I assume will be a $20 or $50 limit, wants to send me to Turkey to go to the actual guy to get massaged, and it's under what I assume will be a $20 or $50 limit, wants to send me to Turkey to go to the actual guy to get massaged, I wouldn't hate that. I actually had such a sick idea for you for Secret Santa. Hope you get me. And I spent all day trying to buy it yesterday.

Really? And no luck. What was it? Jerry Seinfeld tickets tickets That would have been sick Yeah Are they sold out? Yeah And I sat all day like I did for Taylor Swift

That thing fucking spinning around I didn't realise Seinfeld would be like in the same conversation I knew it'd be busy but I didn't think it'd be like Taylor Swift I think he's only doing like one show everywhere He is yeah I think he's at that A I mean It was just so hot

He doesn't have to do anything He's like I'm going to each town. I'm doing one show. I'm going to have a beautiful dinner beforehand. I do one show and then I go to the next place. There's no late show added. There's no extra day. It's just like, yeah.

He doesn't need the cash. Nah. But yeah, so I sat on the website. I appreciate that. Did you try other cities? Um, no. I've seen him before in Sydney. It was a really great night. But I just know he's like your fave. And I've seen him before in Sydney. Yeah.

And it was a really great night. But I just know he's like your fave. Yeah. And I thought that'd be really nice. That would be nice. Yeah. Well, now you know my new fave. Yeah.

It's the Turkish barber. Yeah. Okay. But again, don't go over the limit. Yeah. We'll get to that next week. Okay. We'll get to that next week.

Hey, it's Michelle from Adelaide, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas. That's Tony and Ryan podcast. Over in our Patreon. Thank you. Renee Jamison. Thanks for coming in today, mate. Jammo. Yeah, big jam. Case Mix Thompson. Mix Tomo. Michelle Ackerblom. Ackers.

Jonathan Chan. Channa. Channa. Channy. Woo. Channa. Captain Amy. Amy. And Elliot Cole. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks for being part of the Patreon. Thanks for being part of it. Absolutely love to see it.

Love to see it. Quick question, considering it's our last show in the US, we'll be back in Melbourne studio on Monday. Yep. What time is Bert Kreischner coming in for our spray tan with Young Gravy? I'm a bit sick, mate. I'm sorry, not very well. So, I can't be taking questions at this time.

Anything to report? A few people. Oh, I got a lot of DMs asking. Yeah. Some people, yeah, because someone said you look pretty pale. And I said, that's because I haven't had my spray tan with Burt Craster and Young Gravy. So, there was a few sure things. Sure things. Not cold leads or warm leads, but sure things. A few sure things. Sure things?

Not cold leads or warm leads, but sure things. No, a few sure things that ended up falling over. Do you know what a sure thing means? Do they know what a sure thing means? Do they? Is there anyone you'd like to mention? No. You don't want to throw anyone on the bus?

No. Any tarpers came through with some sure things that you just want to let know? Yeah. I just feel like you don't need to give me the third degree because you know that I love you and you know that I would do anything to make things happen for you. I'm not saying you didn't try. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm just asking where we're at. The thing is, though, that you actually didn't give a time limit. You didn't say while we're in the- No, I did. No, you didn't. And I know that you're going to go back and check. Yeah, I did. Because that's what someone who's scrambling would do. No, but I'm not scrambling because I'm saying the game's not over. It still might happen. Any game needs a final siren because then it just goes forever. We've got places to be. I've got to go to Turkey and get a massage.

Oh, so you don't want me to do it anymore? No, I do. If it's going to happen. What's your lead? Have you got a future lead? I'm not going to say anything here. Okay. You don't want to throw anyone under the bus? I'd love to hear a tarpon's name that fucked you over. Just quietly. No. It's still a work in progress. Okay. We did get a lot of no's, though, from the official channels, which is when we started going in the back way.

Yeah. I appreciate you getting no's and finding other ways. I appreciate that. Yeah, so we got no's straight away and then we were like, okay, well, that's not going to work. And then a few things that were like, oh, this will definitely, oh, this definitely, oh, this definitely, okay. I can share those with you if you like privately.

Really? Yeah. Why not publicly? Because I don't do that. You don't throw diapers under the bus. I do. Do you not want to do this show anymore? No, no, I do.

I do, I do. You're being really sassy. I don't like it. Listen to how unwell I am. Do you not want to do this show anymore? No, no, I do. I do, I do. You're being really sassy. I don't like it. Listen to how unwell I am. Oh. You're being really nasty. I'm not being, I'm just asking. Just asking.

It's our last show in the US today. We have, even though we're like crawling to the finish line, we have fucking loved our time sick. We have had the most amazing time. Yeah, meeting the most amazing people. Thousands and thousands of dot comrades have become real friends. Real life friends. By accident, we've just bumped into them. Bumped into them on holidays. How long has our holiday visa got left? We're cutting it fine. It's 90 days, isn't it? 90 days, yeah. I keep thinking 30. 90 day fiance. That's, of course. Yeah. Of course, of course.

Here are some things that we've got in Australia that we can 10 out of 10 recommend America take on. I have never had a wetter bum than when I've been in America. What do you mean? I would like to campaign for less automatic toilets because in Australia, we don't really have that. What about the sensor? Yeah. Yeah.

You got caught a few times? I don't know if I'm just moving around too much when I'm on the toilet, but I'm like keep getting spry. I keep getting done. I keep getting had by these automatic toilets. The studio we're in at the moment, it's got one and it's got me. So, you're sitting there and it just decides. It just goes.

So, it's like an accidental bidet. G'day bidet. It's not good. And because the toilet water is so high here as well. It's a recipe for fucking disaster. And I can't believe more people aren't talking about this. Do you reckon anyone's drowned rectally? Just filled with too much water?

Is that possible? Like just the flash tan? Young Gravy's just cancelled. He was on his way and he's just cancelled. He heard what you said. Tony's holding a phone to her, yeah? That's comedy. Thanks.

It was comedy. For someone who literally sounds like they've just been hit by a car, I think it was fucking good. That's very good. Yeah, so that's mine. Something we've got in Australia that I don't have here in the US, which I 10 out of 10 recommend, especially now that I've got a crawling toddler.

Oh. Switches on power outlets. You know in Australia you plug something in and you switch it on? Does that not- oh no it doesn't You just plug- they're always ready to go Oh How many thousand Americans are being electrocuted every single year because there's no switch? Coming in them

In Australia that wouldn't have happened That wouldn't have happened Coming in them, fingering them, getting burned and shit In Australia you flick a switch And then the power outlets as well Yeah That's cr- I've never even thought about that Yeah there's no switch Coming in them, fingering them, getting burned and shit. In Australia, you flick a switch. And then the power outlets as well. Yeah. That's crazy. I've never even thought about that.

Yeah, there's no switch. Do you know what is really satisfying? The massive switches, the light switches. Oh, they're the size of the wall. They're huge. They're also upside down. But it's like a... They are upside down.

Yes. Yeah. It's because gravity works upside down when you're in the Northern Hemisphere. Totally. It's like being on the other side of the car Don't Google that, yeah That is a really good one actually The switches are the size of fucking

They're huge, but they're really nice I've got one Hotel breakfast Clap all day Keep going Until 9.30 obviously, before they start cleaning up Keep it going Clap all day. Keep going. Until 9.30, obviously, before they start cleaning up. Keep it going.

I cannot believe that we have, I've never seen less hotel breakfast in my life than we have since being here. It's like a really big thing in Australia. It's not a thing here. Every hotel, you just get up in the morning, walk downstairs. Even if it's not like a full hot breakfast, there's still like fruit and toast or cereal or something. I'm shooketh. I reckon out of the like 12 hotels we've stayed in, two, three have had it. Yeah, and we budgeted on every day we'll get up

and eat breakfast in the hotel. Like, well. Yeah. Like we were like, we'll eat a shitload so that then we don't need lunch. We don't need lunch and we'll just spend the money on dinner. That'll cut costs. And because the hotels are that fucking expensive here. Yeah.

You've said it. Hotel breakfast. And also, like, hotel amenities like toothbrushes. Yeah. Yep. Correct. Those little things. When you just kind of go, oh, there'll be toothpaste there.

No, there won't be. There won't be anything in the minibar fridge. Oh. Aren't they drier than a- If it's even turned on. Yeah, turned on. Yeah, wouldn't even bother. Some of the hotels haven't even had a minibar.

Haven't even had the fridge. Yeah, that's ridiculous. And how are you going to put your leftover tikka masala in there? I don't know. All right, and finally, you know what I'm seeing a lot of in America? Salt. Eating a lot of salt. You know what we're seeing a lot of in America?

Chicken. A lot of chicken. You know what we're not seeing? Chicken salt. Where's the fucking chicken salt at? Yeah, that's a fair cop. Where is the chicken salt at? Yeah, that's a fair cop Where is the chicken salt at? And that's not more like

It's not like a complaint But it's more like Do people in the US know what they're missing out on? Like how much better could this experience be? Chicken salt on chips is Fucking top tier dining It is very good And I just don't know why

They Why do we not do that here? I don't know why they, why do we not do that here? I don't know. Is it like a, you just never made it? Now, we Googled once about what chicken salt is and we didn't like the answer, did we? It's fucking good though. It's just MSG, isn't it? It's just good.

It's just good. The answer is good. It's MS good. What does MSG stand for? Madison Square Garden. That's what it tastes like. Yeah. And it tastes unreal.

And I 10 out of 10 recommend Americans get on chicken salt. Quartz side at the chicken salt. Yeah. Speaking of food, I've got a quick little you'll have to see it here. Oh, yeah. This has been sent in by Tapa Lynn Summers. Hi, Lynn Summers. And she said, you'll have to see it.

I was eating cheddar Doritos. Cheddar Doritos? I tried to say chorizo and Cheeto at the same time. Cheddar Doritos. I was eating. Sounds like a greeting. Cheddar Doritos. I was eating.

Cheddar Doritos. White cheddar Cheetos. White cheddar Cheetos, yeah. But my one happened to look like a penis, said Lynn Summers. Have a look at that. Oh, that is good. Nice old dick and balls in the Cheeto box. That is good.

Don't you love that? You do love that. You love to see that. What do you love to see, Tuna? My love to see it is, look, a massive shout out to everybody that's come and met us, seen us, hung out with us, brought us a little bottle of water at a meet and greet, offered us a coffee, hand warmers in Chicago. Tutored us at the side of the road in pennsylvania

when we're taking photos of the blue ball signs uh-huh um just it's been incredible we've had such a great trip yep and um we couldn't have done it without everybody coming down like sharing their stories of what the pod means to you and even though this is very self-indulgent it really does mean a lot to us so it really does um thank you for for coming and seeing us and um and sorry that the lines were longer than we thought and then you got to the front of the lines and it was just it was just us there yeah yeah we are really sorry about that yeah um but we hope that you enjoyed it but not too much because we're never doing it again is that right no we won't i won't ask you for a will we do it again at this point because you're not in a position to say i'm having a great time No, I'd come back to the US for sure,

but I think the meet and greets, it was a lot more people came than we thought. Yeah, which is... Great problem to have. Great problem to have. Yeah. Even though we are physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually...

My battery is, like, in the negatives at this point, but that's okay. Does that get recharged with rest or with a little Torbenstein? I think that seeing Torbs is going to really help. Yeah. Just because I'll probably just feel a bit more at ease. Yeah. And then, yeah, I mean, I've got a week in the sun.

Yeah. Question. Question. Now that you've been a hot California girl, you've been a New Yorker, you've been to Vegas, you've been to Philly, Toronto, Chicago, Indianapolis, Atlanta, Nashville, Dallas. If, if, what? One more. That was Fort Worth.

Louisville. We didn't stay there. Louisville and, uh. We went there. Louisville gets a flyby, I mentioned. What? No, it was. What? No, no, no, no. You alright, mate? Yeah, no, we went there. Louisville and... We went there. Louisville gets a flyby, I mentioned. What? No, it was just... What? No, no, no. You alright, mate? Yeah, no, we went there. Where was... And everyone talked about the alcohol. What was alcohol? Yeah, because it's like a bourbon town. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, don't mention alcohol because Tony's been to Vegas and now will never drink for the rest of our lives. Oh, no, I just knew there was some alcohol that happened there. Well, because a lot of people made a day of it. They drove out to Louisville to see us and the deal, especially this was like when a female tarpa was coming and she like dragged her boyfriend along and they were like, oh, then after we'll go to like the distillery and have a few bourbons and that was like the deal that people made. Yeah.

Where would you live? Not in Vegas. No way. Oh, I loved Chicago so much. Yep. Loved Chicago. Also really loved New York. Yep.

You even said that with a yark. New York. Chicago or New York, I reckon. Okay. That'd be my two. Okay. I like Texas, guys. I like Texas.

Oh, Texas was sick, actually. Yep. The city of Dallas was real cool as well. Obviously, we were in like horse town, like we were in actual cowboy world. Yeah. And then we were. Cowboy world, not for you. Fun to visit, but not to live? Fun to visit, but yeah, I don't know if I'd live there, but the actual city of Dallas

was sick. What's the amount of horses if you had to ride a horse around all day in Fort Worth? Oh, white Bronco. Ford Bronco. But I do have one final you love to see it. Yep. To round out our trip. Yep.

I did not fall over. Fuck. Once. You didn't either. That is a great you love to see it. Isn't that good? You are just so fucking asking to eat shit this afternoon. But didn't either. That is a great, you'll have to see it. Isn't that good? You are just so fucking asking to eat shit this afternoon.

But that's fine. I lasted the 30 days that I promised I would. Yeah, you did. You fucking did. Which is a genuine surprise. An actual feat of human engineering. Is that? No. Yeah.

Yeah. No. A feat of my feat. That is funny. Yeah. That is very funny A feet of my feet. That is funny. Yeah. That is very funny. Feet squared. I've moved back to the Converse platform.

The cons are back on. See you later, Asics. Because I'm just like, you know what? I've made it now. I've never heard, with the shoe change and the public announcement of your stability, someone jinxing themselves harder in my time. And whilst you said, you know, from now when we're in Fort Worth to the, you know, we recorded the last episode.

I'm not saying you didn't achieve it. What I am saying is you're a thousand percent going to stack it on the way home today. I know. Or like, you know what? I made it to here. Watch this space. I said that I was going to make it to when we recorded, and that would be fun.

Tony's going to get, like, Hallie ambulance-vacked out of Hawaii and flown back to Australia. Well, luckily, I don't plan on doing any hiking or anything crazy like that. Yeah, when the doctor goes, oh, mate, you need to keep your leg up high. I go, oh, okay. Yeah. Keep putting both up.

Can I have two stirrups, Doc? Yeah. Yeah, you don't have any spare that I can take home, do you? Yeah, should I buy one, get one free kind of arrangement here? Because I don't plan on doing anything else in Hawaii. Nah, I don't. I hope you don't get white lotus. I'm not going to get white lotus.

I'm not staying at the white lotus. Yeah, but you can get white lotus anywhere in Hawaii. Anywhere. Full stop. Because the second season was in Italy. All right. We'll have some throwback episodes tomorrow and Friday. And we'll chat to you from Melbourne in Australia on Monday.

Tony, go rest up. Thanks. Love you. Bye.